Kat brings bath salts back with her lesson on Stonehenge, the very first gym. We ask the important questions so you don't have to ie: "So this is Easter Island Right?" and "What is wood?" Next, Hayley doubles down on the historical content with Russia's most unmentionable yet relatable Baltic Fleet. This lesson is like the "Hey mom, can you come pick me up? I'm scared." meme but make it Mother Russia. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit bett...
Jan 20, 2022•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 97
Hayley teaches that the Alaska Triangle is indeed a triangle and mysterious things happen there. Triangles have 3 sides and Alaska has whales, cold weather, the Iditarod, and shapeshifters. Next, Kat reminds us that poop jokes are always funny and explains the history of toilet paper. Friendly reminder that the Charmin bears are satanic and you can’t pop hemorrhoids. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our prom...
Jan 13, 2022•1 hr 56 min•Ep. 96
Alcohol shot to the brain, and lobotomy’s to blame. You give mental health services a bad name. But other than scrambling brains and tampons soaked in Svedka, it’s all good! Learn about primal neurosurgery then cleanse your palette with a healthy dose of massive catfish and bad gals haunting Lake Lanier. It’s A) hotter than a hoochie coochie, and B) an important. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo co...
Jan 06, 2022•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 95
Happy New Year Classmates! You voted on your favorite episode topics and we smashed them together. Enjoy The Killdozer and Disney Controversies. See you in 2022 xoxo This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021
Dec 30, 2021•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 94
Yule better not pout, yule better not cry, Night Classy has lists and we're reading them twice. Think more horrific and hazardous rather than naughty and nice. Kat delights us all with thoughts of cannibalism, horse skulls, and sausage swiping' window peepers in Christmas lore before Hayley lists off her anti-gift-giving-guide (or perfect gift guide, depending on who you're buying for) brimming with radiation, recalls, and visits to the ER. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off yo...
Dec 23, 2021•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 93
Hayley covers Marshall Ratliff and his 1927 Santa Claus bank robbery. What would you do if you saw Santa robbing a bank? If you said run to the nearest hardware store, buy a gun, and shoot him, you might be from Texas. Then, Malori Sparkles is a simp for Simba and teaches a lesson on a fur-scinating subculture. We used to be a couple of Steves and Larrys thinking being a furry was just a kink. Turns out, it’s a lot more than that! This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first m...
Dec 15, 2021•1 hr 35 min•Ep. 92
Birthday anxiety + conspiracy + tragedy = The 27 Club. Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, and Jimi Hendrix are all members of this non-official yet permanent club. Learn all about it so we can then lighten the mood with Hallmark Christmas movie factoids ie: budgets, paranormal romance restrictions, preferred stages of grief, etc. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. Produced by Parasaur Studios ©...
Dec 09, 2021•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 91
I guess we’re a diet podcast now because Hayley weighs in on the strange and scary history of dieting. Some fun fads include shopping mall scales, showing off your abnormally tiny poop, and our own contribution a “juice” (wine) cleanse. Then, it’s cryptid time because Kat tells the story of The Flatwoods Monster. In summary, she thicc and she stinks. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. Pr...
Dec 02, 2021•1 hr 37 min•Ep. 90
Hayley experiences the sunken lost cause fallacy and brings us a lesson on how the Oxford English Dictionary was created. There are a lot of dick-tionary jokes and we all learn and re-learn some words. TLDR: this lesson is better than it sounds. Next, Kat stays on brand and talks about horses for 45 minutes. Learn about the time Dancer's Image won the Kentucky Derby in 1968 and the conspiracy (real) reason as to why he was disqualified. Bonus segment: best horse names. We have dibs on Pistachio ...
Nov 25, 2021•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 89
Kat crawls out of a 3-foot tall meat freezer to teach us about the "toe shoes" of gastronomy: the Paleo diet. Did cavemen really gorge on raw ground beef between shirtless beer pong matches? Find out in Act 1! Then Hayley shows up with a lesson on the biggest bitch in the hive: The Queen Bee. Pooping out babies and eating Royal Jelly isn't disgusting, Kat. Find out the most painful spots to be stung (Spoiler alert: one of them is the penis shaft.) https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasa...
Nov 18, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 88
The crown jewels of Ireland may be pitiful but the reason why they disappeared is pathetic. Just get a new safe. It’s literally the royal fucking family. Thankfully, it was all just pranks. Next, Kat is a list bitch and takes a deep dive into the most intriguing and peculiar inventions she could find on the internet. Because why hire a person when the wind can be your babysitter? Why drink normal water when it can be electric? These are the questions we ask ourselves whilst using the pissoir. ht...
Nov 11, 2021•1 hr 58 min•Ep. 87
Kat explains localization: the practice of adapting foreign media for local audiences. Localization played a major role in the importation of Japanese anime to the United States… for better or for worse. Things happened, decisions were made.. Or not made. Then, Hayley teaches a lesson on sex shop pioneer Beate Rottenburg, but you can just call her Beet. Beet is a complicated figure to say the least, but we have her to thank for the convenient availability of edible underwear and candy flavored l...
Nov 04, 2021•1 hr 45 min•Ep. 86
Kat may not be a strong medium but she still knows what the people want: a lesson on ouija boards! Much like the toy, it was a medium success. But we still have questions like, “What is your accent?” and “Are you wearing underwear?” Ouija gonna do? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Next, Hayley reminds us of the hell Carl Tanzler put Elena Hoyos’ corpse (and family) through. At least she got some hot beef tea before being blasted into outer space, because science. Happy https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasau...
Oct 28, 2021•1 hr 45 min•Ep. 85
Hayley tells us about a man with a plan: Carl Tanzler. From childhood, Carl received visions of his future spouse and spent his adult life searching for her. But when he finally met the object of his obsession, she was dying of TB (Tuberculosis, not tight butthole) and her time on earth with him was short… But Carl could live with a little corpse stink. Then, if Kat had to read something horrible, you have to hear about it. We bring to you one of the most brutal and creepy murders in history: Th...
Oct 21, 2021•1 hr 59 min•Ep. 84
This week Hayley teaches us about The Pollock Twins! They’re the direct result of reincarnation and their parents not being able to keep their hands off each other, despite almost getting a divorce. We are convinced souls are recycled and these young ladies are pretty convincing. Next, Kat takes us to a scary place full of HOAs. Having a $1.3 mansion doesn’t sound too bad until there’s someone who calls themselves “The Watcher” involved. If you also consider yourself a sensitive daisy, you’ve be...
Oct 14, 2021•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 83
It’s an animated ribbon! It’s a quoof! It’s ectoplasm! All are true for Kat’s lesson on the mysterious, gelatinous substance coming out of all orifices remotely related to ghosts. Some call it egg whites and urine, others call it “soul substance” but at the end of the day you could probably just make ectoplasm at home tbh. Next, Hayley talks a lot about kale and its girth. Halloween was the OG romantic holiday and as previously stated, there were a lot of fruits and vegetables involved. And no, ...
Oct 07, 2021•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 82
Happy Oktoberfest b*tches and welcome to our *loosely* themed episode! Hayley delights us with the tale of Peter, a feral child plucked from Germany's Black forest and raised by royalty. Peter was a wild boy, not a proper boy- and it showed. Next, Kat hits Oktoberfest on the nose with a lesson on beer. Beer making started as many as 10,000 years ago, and was a vital part of society. So much so, there were goddesses dedicated to its making, not limited to our current beer goddess: The St. Paulie ...
Sep 30, 2021•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 81
If Johnny Appleseed has come up in your life a lot recently, you’re not alone. And if you’re a big fan of sacks, you’re also not alone! For being raised by a tree, Johnny Appleseed has left quite a legacy as the creepy old man giving away sections of books. Oh, and planting trees! Next, we rejuvenate with a lesson on Drunk Tank Pink and get toxic with Paris Green. Even the guy who researched the calming effects of this shade of pink isn’t positive how it works or how long it works but why not pa...
Sep 23, 2021•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 80
Lord Timothy Dexter was not a lord, but he was the Informer of Deer, a collector of giant statues, and the first in the East, the first in the West, and the greatest philosopher of the western world. In other words, he was a moron- possibly the biggest in history. Next, we learn about Catfish of the sports world Leeroy Jenkins. Sadly for him, his “high school” football team does not consist of Russel Wilson, Russel Wilson, and Russel Wilson, but he probably would insist otherwise. https://linktr...
Sep 16, 2021•1 hr 34 min•Ep. 79
Death is a part of life and, coincidentally, this week's episode! Hayley teaches us about the Capuchin Catacombs of Palermo which attracts hoards of tourists thanks to its 8,000+ mummified corpses. The most famous of them being 2 year-old, Rosalia Lombardo, the blinking mummy. And we have the MRI scan to prove she's real! As real as Kim K's you-know-what. Next, Kat answers all of our burning questions about American squirrels like, "The American government used propaganda to persuade school chil...
Sep 09, 2021•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 78
This week in the CIA think tank- AKA Night Classy, Kat lures us to a hotel room to look at crystals and talk about murder. Charles Sobhraj evaded the police countless times during his ”Hippie Trail” murder spree, but ultimately it was mineral water that took him down. Next, Hayley dips her feet in the food industry and revisits an age old debate: Coke or Brad’s Drink? Support the brands that support us! Use code NIGHTCLASSY for 30% off your order of BetterMorning at trybetterbrand.com https://li...
Sep 02, 2021•1 hr 30 min•Ep. 77
Bama Rush TikTok has taken over the internet but not a single video mentions the secret not-so-secret society operating behind the scenes of University of Alabama’s Greek life. Hayley clues us into all things “The Machine,” except for why it tries so hard to control the Student Government Association… and what the student government is… and what it does... but you know it’s bad when Bill Cosby shows up! Kat lifts the mood with a throwback lesson on the widely hated and widely loved band, Insane ...
Aug 26, 2021•1 hr 39 min•Ep. 76
We are feeling lucky! Kat covers the concept of luck along with some charms, rituals, and superstitions. Remember, never eat a plain egg puck, lest you be cursed with 100 years of infidelity. Next, Hayley teaches a lesson on Ty Warner, the creator of Beanie Babies. We all owe a big thank you to Hayley and her midwestern brethren for making Beanie Babies happen, and our past selves a kick in the pants for donating all of them to Goodwill. Think of the Juicy Couture tracksuits we could have bought...
Aug 19, 2021•1 hr 38 min•Ep. 75
This week, we realize the best way of practicing humility is to use your collection of ancient artifacts as tiles on your bathroom floor. Or if you own Hobby Lobby, you can just craft that shit up yourself. But that makes too much sense and involves too little scandal! Next, Kat adds injury to death. If you must die, die in The Alnwick Poison Garden where all your goth dreams will come true. In this garden of death, you'll find the world's most lethal botany. First, they're sweet, then they're s...
Aug 12, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 74
This week, we’re drinking a tantalizing mixture of brandy, egg whites and rat poison- sponsored by The Olympics! Just kidding, but also not kidding, because the 1904 Olympics was exactly that wild. Think- a poodle-clipping competition won by Avril Lafoule wild. Next, Hayley explains why depressed millennials are obsessed with their pets and what happens when they go too far. And we experience a historic re-teaching moment about one very famous aristocat. Support the brands that support us! Use c...
Aug 05, 2021•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 73
Fact: family annihilators all have golden retrievers and live in cookie-cutter neighborhoods. But that would never happen in a Disney-created town, right? RIGHT?! Listen to Hayley’s lesson on the creepy happenings in the town of Celebration, Florida and maybe you’ll end up hating Mickey Mouse too. Or if you’d rather keep the magic alive, you can skip right to Kat’s lesson. It’s ~out of this world~ Kat teaches us about the red planet that is red. It’s boiling hot and toxic as fuck. Would you “swi...
Jul 29, 2021•1 hr 31 min•Ep. 72
Kat’s a true crime bitch this week and covers Gary Ridgeway, The Green River Killer. Much like Gary, we don’t like necrophilia, but unlike him, we don’t do it. Then, oh good, more trauma! Hayley introduces us to a group of people even more outlandish than flat earthers: hollow earthers! Here, we learn that the earth is not filled with “ligwah macquid,” but rather grape flavored thrifty vegetables. Honestly, just call us Rush Limbaugh because we kinda believe it. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Pro...
Jul 22, 2021•1 hr 32 min•Ep. 71
Kat simultaneously teaches the history of beauty pageants and makes the distinction that Greek mythology is NOT history. You don't have to be an undercover cop to participate in beauty pageants but you must use a critical lens when reviewing the misogynistic and racist past of these programs. If traditional pageantry doesn't tickle your fancy, look out for Night Classy's very own witch-themed pageant (disclaimer: must own cat to enter)! Next, Hayley covers the creepy details of The Welles House ...
Jul 15, 2021•1 hr 43 min•Ep. 70
Hayley schools us on sex in Ancient Egypt… Good news: if you were single, you had nothing to lose! (Not even your virginity.) We’ve concluded that God IS a woman and she IS a milky-breasted vampire. Have you used “consex” clues to decipher the topic this week? If not, Kat can help further with her lesson on animal mating rituals. Turns out, there are some problematic practices in the animal kingdom. #YesAllFish. Oh, and don’t forget to check your throat for sea slugs and squid heads! Head over t...
Jul 08, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 69
Kat teaches a lesson on last meals, or “special meals,” of death row inmates. Learn about the history and psychology behind the practice of last meals, and remember to order the “last meal special” next time you’re at Starbucks! Next, we hit the motherlode motherlode motherlode motherlode when Hayley covers the practice of hacking. We promise this lesson is at least 10 times more interesting than a model train racing competition. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021...
Jul 01, 2021•2 hr 11 min•Ep. 68
