Kat covers the umbrella murder of Georgi Markov. Bad boy broke the #1 rule: Don’t make fun of the government! To be fair, it's a heroic act to speak out against Bulgarian communism… But no one expects to die by... Well, just listen to the episode! Next, Hayley takes us down under to tell us about the time a shark helped solve a murder mystery involving characters like the Australian Tony Soprano and the poster boy for big dairy! This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first mon...
Aug 11, 2022•1 hr 21 min
Kat covers the Strelzyk and Wetzel families’ daring escape from East Germany in their homemade hot air balloon. You know living under the Soviets was bad when 8 people were willing to fly 8,200 feet in the air in a contraption that failed many times. Not even Chipotle could make us shit our pants that hard. Next, Hayley discusses near death experiences and their window into the afterlife. Did the first guy burn because he was a childhood bully or because he was literally struck by lightning? You...
Aug 04, 2022•1 hr 39 min
Hayley teaches a lesson on Henrietta's Immortal Cells; the lady had cells on cells on cells! Henrietta unknowingly saved over 10 million lives with her HeLa cell line but the defecit of medical ethics is adding up to... not good. Then, Kat tells the end of life story of Harry Truman, not the president! We're talking about the one who opted out of evacuating Mt. St. Helens in 1980 and opted IN for automatic vaporization with the comfort of his 16 cats and his homemade "Panther Piss." This episode...
Jul 28, 2022•1 hr 44 min
Kat teaches a lesson on Deep Throat, the movie not the Watergate mole. Although they might have something in common- can we be 100% sure Nixon didn’t have a clitorous in the back of his throat? Then, Hayley tells the life story of Lord Byron, the 19th century’s favorite unhinged thinspo influencer. Unfortunately for him, extreme dieting does NOT prevent STDs, and neither does sleeping with your sister. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit htt...
Jul 21, 2022•1 hr 48 min
Kat's lesson takes us to New France aka France 2 (the sequel) aka NAWLINS. Also, some strange pale girls carrying caskets for duffle bags are following us. NONE of this lesson is embellished so throw on your Team Edward shirt and learn the legend of The Casket Girls. Up next, we may no nothing about coding but we do know World of Warcraft developers nailed it when they accidentally created an in-game pandemic in 2005. Real world epidemiologists studied gamer behavior ie: how players did/did not ...
Jul 14, 2022•1 hr 9 min
Nepotism pays, but it also KILLS. When daddy’s money couldn’t buy Michael Rockefeller what he wanted, he paid with his life. Or did he?? Then, get ready to ‘add to cart’ because we’re here to remind you about crystals. Do they actually have healing powers? Only if you think they do! Donate to Planned Parenthood! This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit http://betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Prod...
Jul 07, 2022•1 hr 25 min
Kat covers one of the internet's most beloved species: Florida Man. Need we say more? From killing a man with a sword named "Kindness" to closet adventures, it seems the Florida Man cannot be stopped. Next, Hayley ponders if inmates at Alcatraz could actually escape the island alive? Evidence points to a trio of men escaping but no one knows for sure... This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit http://betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code ...
Jun 30, 2022•1 hr 41 min•Ep. 120
If you grapefruit your man and Kim Kardashian pomelos her man, does that mean mosquitos mandarin orange their man? This week on this mosquito cockfighting ring that we call a podcast, Hayley tells us about the world’s most hated creature and how we can eliminate them! Then, *click clack* *swish swish* Kat breathes into your ear some sweet sweet ASMR. Love it or hate it, the science is fascinating. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit http://b...
Jun 23, 2022•1 hr 34 min•Ep. 119
Come for RuPaul and The U-Hauls and Shantay, you stay for Star Booty! This week, Kat covers the awe-inspiring life of QUEEN, RuPaul Andre Charles. Happy Pride Month! You better work! Next, Hayley takes us off the deep end and covers the relatively new conspiracy of The Tartarian Empire. "Tartar Truthers" take the most Euro-centric route possible and blame a "covered up" civilization on all governments... and the Mud Flood. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of ...
Jun 16, 2022•1 hr 43 min•Ep. 118
Hayley tells us Alice in Wonderland was a real person, and the whole story is just one big creepy detail. Yeah, this is not a fun lesson. Drink every time we say “disgusting.” Then, Kat reminds us that humans have always been weird and terrible! Depression-era Dance Marathons were not as cute as they sound and often ended in hallucinations, mania, and sometimes death. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our pro...
Jun 09, 2022•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 117
Kat covers the Gin Craze where you can get drunk for a penny or dead drunk for 2 pennies! Gin and tonic, to know her is to love her. But some people loved her a little too much. Next, Hayley quieries, who let the dogs out? If you exclaimed, "Bow Wow!".... You're wrong. Join us as we examine one of the music industry's most annoying yet mystifying songs, with the help of Jeeves, of course. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/cl...
Jun 02, 2022•1 hr 31 min•Ep. 116
Hayley covers Joffrey Baratheon’s inspo: the Roman Emperor Caligula. Like and follow for his cute nighttime skin care routine of almost murdering his bestfriend and donate to us on Patreon so Hayley can be exiled to an island. Then, Kat introduces us to Fistulous Alexis, the man with the hole in his stomach. Thanks to Alexis St. Martin, we know what stomach acid tastes like. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter ...
May 26, 2022•1 hr 41 min•Ep. 115
"Rats and cats" was the 1800s version of chain email, a simpler time when reliable sources were traveling men and evolution occurred in 5 generations or less. Kat teaches us how one rumor about cold storage pest solutions swept the nation and beyond. Next, Hayley continues the "1800s were wild" theme in a lesson on hypnosis and one of the first times it was used in court as a defense! Hypnosis is the devil but it can 100% help with your next amputation. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. F...
May 19, 2022•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 114
Franz Anton Mesmer discovered that the antidote to all mammalian ailments is a magnetized rod. Isn’t it weird how women always seem to need healing between their thighs? Then, it’s time to FIDE for your right to play chess! Susan, Sofia, and Judit Polgar broke barriers for women in chess, while their father cracked the code on raising child prodigies. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. P...
May 12, 2022•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 113
Of all the ways to evangelize, stigmatics chose the scariest way. Kat delves deep into “an amount” of scientific research on the stigmata condition which produces mysterious wounds corresponding to the Christian wounds of Jesus during crucification. Next, Hayley takes us on a true crime journey to Skidmore, Missouri to meet Ken Rex McElroy and the town that banned together when official law enforcement wouldn’t! This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help...
May 05, 2022•1 hr 23 min•Ep. 112
When sugar mommies call, we listen! Alec delivers a specially requested sequel to his Patreon treasure hunt lessons with the Oak Island money pit mystery. Is pirate treasure there, or is it one of the History Channel’s classic hoaxes? Then, Kat teaches a mini lesson on Japanese cryptid: Kappas. They do have 3 anuses, but cucumbers only go in their mouth! Next, Hayley tells us about coincidences and why they only exist if you’re spiritual and self-obsessed. Which we all are, so it works. This epi...
Apr 28, 2022•2 hr 10 min•Ep. 111
Kat & Hayley are sharing these two classic Night Classy Patreon episodes, previously only available at www.patreon.com/nightclassy This double feature is a combo of two substitute episodes taught by our wonderful producer Alec Ogg. Part 1 (recorded in June 2020) introduces us to Forrest Fenn's treasure and the series of clues that sent thousands hunting for it. The first part ends with a WILD twist— don’t google it, just listen. Part 2 is the unbelievable follow-up recorded in April 2021. ...
Apr 25, 2022•1 hr 39 min
Public executions are a thing of the past, so it’s a good thing we have murder podcasts. Why does true crime slap so hard? Hayley’s here to tell you! Then, grab your Nikes because we’re running for a cure- for rabies! Rabies is so scary it almost makes us believe in God. Thank glow stick Jesus we have St. Hubert’s key to keep us safe. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit http://betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://aut...
Apr 21, 2022•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 110
“Houska Castle: Built By Ghosts, For Ghosts!” Kat tells the mysterious tale of how this nonsensical castle was constructed over Czech Republic’s very own crevasse to Hell. Not even the elixir of life can save you! Next up, Hayley covers Cosmic Watergate aka a big, stinky coverup of an alien crash site in Roswell, New Mexico. The only verifiable takeaway from the Roswell Incident is that face down, ass up is best practice when free falling from an airplane/weather balloon/UFO… But we already knew...
Apr 14, 2022•1 hr 43 min•Ep. 109
Hayley asks the question: “What are girls good for?” If you said infiltrating a psych ward to expose its abuses and catalyze change, you’d be right! Nellie Bly was a glass ceiling-breaking stunt journalist who knew how to pack light and pass as a baby. Then, Kat covers the creepy story of Ketchup king and ghost(??) Danny LaPlante. Danny may not have been tall, hot, and blonde, but he WAS a creepy spree killer who never showered. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first mon...
Apr 07, 2022•1 hr 58 min•Ep. 108
2 in the light shade, 1 in the stinking nightshade! Hope you’re not too shocked by Kat’s lesson on deadly nightshade plants with beautiful names like ~nicotine~ and ~potato~. Because it’s true, toxins could be right there in your pantry, on your pizza or possibly across the street at Chipotle. Next, Hayley has a question: were the Vikings bloodthirsty brutes or were they just blondes having more fun? After a long day of pooping the land, anyone could use a stress-relieving raid, right? Grab your...
Mar 31, 2022•1 hr 48 min•Ep. 107
This one goes out to the dark angels! Hayley tells the horrifying story of “the pockmarked man” who terrorized Paris for a decade. To avoid being murdered, don’t take shortcuts, never be a young woman, and if you have a helpful, friendly neighbor, just do not leave your house. Then, get your spaghetti colander and pirate costume because we’re going to CHURCH! Kat’s here to tell you how you can have access to a beer volcano, worship a flying noodle monster, and enforce the separation of church an...
Mar 24, 2022•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 106
Can’t we all just say mermaids are real and get on with it!? Kat covers the Feejee Mermaid! Ok, so it’s not a mermaid but look at the monkey head sewn onto the fish tail and tell us it doesn’t feel right. And speaking of things that don’t feel right, Burt’s Bees hurts mees! Hayley cannot mind her own beeswax, Kat is pushing 30… I mean, pushing 26, and Ingram Burt Shavitz was so vapid that he walked away from millions of sweet sweet lip balm dollars so he could live in a retrofitted bird coop. We...
Mar 17, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 105
Check if your heart is still beeping... this may be the closest the two lessons have ever coincided! Kat covers forensic body farms where you may get a rigor mortis hard-on from the cat eating your ass. And if that doesn't make you S.I.C.K then perhaps you'll enjoy Hayley's lesson on cadaver dogs! These canine crime fighters can smell a corpse fifteen feet under ground-- which is why we dress them like Sherlock Holmes. What's that smell? Either a dog toy dipped in corpse-cologne or the poop fair...
Mar 10, 2022•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 104
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then parody is a fucking honor. Weird Al Yankovic revolutionized rock with his accordion (because how else does one revolutionize rock?) and normalized calling out our partners for almost buying the half gallon of Rocky Road ice cream, and not the entire back stock. We Stan Weird Al. Next, Hayley talks about taxidermy a lot… But it’s not what you think. This Learny Journey is about outlandish CIA inventions and quickly devolved into a 5th grade Sex...
Mar 03, 2022•1 hr 31 min•Ep. 103
Inspired by her favorite genre of TV (trash) Kat presents the psychology of falling in love. With shocking revelations like “falling in love feels like being on drugs” and “you’re more likely to experience love at first sight with attractive people.” Next, Hayley covers Bad Bass Ass Reeves (Bass Reeves), the first black deputy US marshall west of the Mississippi and inspiration for the Lone Ranger. Grab your mustache and cup of warm water because you’re wanted daddy or alive! This episode is spo...
Feb 24, 2022•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 102
This week, Kat gives a crash course on the famed East Coast-West Coast hip hop rivalry of the 90s. Which came first: the shot or the song “Who Shot Ya?” Grab your roach spray and let’s go on a learny journey. Next, Hayley takes us back… like all the way back… to the beginning of human consciousness. Stoned Ape Theory posits that if you take more than a mouse’s arm amount of mushrooms, you can launch your species into drastic evolution. The only thing this hypothesis proves is that literally anyt...
Feb 17, 2022•1 hr 33 min•Ep. 101
Shout out to the learny wormies and night cats who got us to our 100th episode! Delete your Seeking Arrangements account because Hayley is here to tell you exactly how to be a high class sugar baby- 19th century style. She meets with them, she sleeps with them, she spies on them, she’s Margaretha Geertrudia MacLeod. Next, hopefully you don’t have coimetrophobia because Kat is here to tell you about cemeteries. If you like state parks, thank a cemetery. And if you were murdered, you can thank Pin...
Feb 10, 2022•2 hr 18 min•Ep. 100
If you must monogram, monogram everything! That way, if your body ever washes ashore in a pillowcase, investigators will be able to track down your very specific monogrammed piece and solve your murder. Next, Kat outs herself as a disgusting person and brings influencers of centuries past down with her. Before microblading, there were mouse/goat hair extensions for eyebrows along with the classic concoction of chemicals to get cancer AND beauty. Take a walk down learny journey lane to learn more...
Feb 03, 2022•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 99
Kat teaches a lesson on horse diving, a performance so crazy and cruel that one man wanted to bring it back in the 90s. Who was that man? I’m sure you can guess. Next, he’s horny, he’s filthy, and he can see the future! Hayley enlightens us with the life story of Rasputin. We can’t promise this episode won’t give you a yeast infection, but at least no one will beat you with a crucifix. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/class...
Jan 27, 2022•1 hr 41 min•Ep. 98
