What Do You Think Life Is Supposed To Be? (1890)

with generational wealth . That is a thing , but that doesn't mean Kevin and I should work less and complain about that . We can do all we can with all we have .

Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University where we help you level up your life , your love , your health and your wealth . Today for episode number 1890 , get your . Today for episode number 1890 , get your philosophical caps on what do you think life is supposed to be ?

Alan and I were talking and again we're always trying to think of really good episodes what are we going through , what are clients going through , what are people going through ? What do we want to talk about ? What do we think needs to be talked about , all that stuff .

And Alan said he said , brother , do you think life is supposed to be easy or do you think life is supposed to be hard ? And I said I don't think life is supposed to be anything . I think life is life and you ? I think life is supposed to be just an experience . I don't know , how do you ? You can't know . You can't know what it is .

It is what you think it is or it isn't , or it is what you think it isn't . That's really all it is at the end of the day . So Alan's like dude , let's do an episode on that . And I was like let's do it . And now we're doing it .

I'm talking big time , always contemplating the universe , why we're here , why he does what he does , why the government's set up the way it is , why we have to go to work , why do and don't like . Just why , why , why , why , why ?

When I was a kid it was why emily and I we recently went to her mother's birthday and they had a big box of all her drawings and stuff as a kid . It's been fascinating all the letters that she wrote as a kid , all the different projects . It's been really cool . Report cards , all that stuff , uh .

And she found letters that she wrote to her mom hey , zach , her older brother is breaking the rules . How come I have to follow the rules and Zach doesn't ? And you don't punish him , but you do like she was calling out the BS and the , the , the stuff when she was a little kid and there's some other stuff in there . That's just , oh , it's so obvious .

You were an existentialist . No one else is thinking about that . At seven years old , she's contemplating the world and I realized we are such existentialists . Who asks that question Do you think life is supposed to be easy ? Some people just go through their day and that's okay . That's okay , but not on this podcast .

You're here listening and watching and we're going deep , hyperconscious , acutely aware . What does it mean ? Change the way you think , change the way you act , change the way you live , how the world works , but , more importantly , why it works that way .

Deeper understanding Understanding Kev , understanding me , understanding podcasting , understanding the world , understanding everything we talk about is a deeper understanding of you , other people in the world , and when you learn about yourself , other people in the world , now you can make choices that are more in alignment with who you are , choices that are more in alignment

with who you are , choices that are more in alignment with what's best , choices that are good for yourself , others and the world , and I just believe so deeply . It's called a worldview . So there's something called CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the triad of CBT is behavior , thought and feelings .

So your feelings create behaviors , your behaviors create your thoughts . Your create your feelings . It's sometimes it's feelings create thoughts . It goes both ways , so to speak . But the point of this is where are your thoughts coming from ? What's the record playing ? What is your world view ? And the way cbt clinicians help their clients is through .

The metaphor is putting on glasses . So if kev puts on rose-colored glasses , he's going to see everyone and everything better than they really are , which means what he's going to see ? Everyone and everything inaccurately . We inflate , we deflate , we omit , we all lie to ourselves and to each other .

And as we mature and grow older , they're called cognitive distortions . You basically see the world more accurately . Everyone can look back to when they were in high school . Kev , give me an example Something you thought in high school that was just inaccurate .

I'm trying to help people think more accurately , because I saw the world so much less accurately and therefore allowed people to stay in my life that I wish I hadn't , because I had such rose colored glasses . I wanted to believe that everyone was good and that no one was lying and no one manipulate . I've been manipulated , I've been bullied and I just I did .

I wanted to see the best in people . I really did . I was like Mr See the best in people . I really did . I was like mr see the best in everyone . And it was so naive , dude and and it also came with a gift which I see the best in people , so I see their potential . I can see people's potential so well .

So , anyways , my point of this is thank you , listener or viewer , for being with us , because not a lot of people . The world would be a better place if there was more existentialists , if there was more people who contemplate their existence and who try to be better people every day .

So you are in the minority , unfortunately , and I'm so proud of all of you and thank you for being on this journey with us , because I have to have the courage to say that because , honestly , some people really are on autopilot and they are walking through their life , and I am somewhat guilty of that as well , because , pre-car accident , there was a lot of

things that I wasn't questioning , that I needed to be questioning . So here we are , let's question life , kev . Life isn't supposed to be hard , it isn't supposed to be easy . Life is what it is . What do you mean ?

I don't , I don't believe that when you're born it's predestined that you become anything . I think , yeah , it ends up . It's just a , a , it's a game . I feel I've always thought that life is a game and we all start on different places on the board and we all get different rolls of the die . Some people roll a seven and they have a wealthy family .

It's like , all right , cool , they rolled a seven and the next roll is different . Then something happens and they Did you roll a seven , no thing happens , and they roll a seven . No , definitely not . No , I think I probably rolled like a two , maybe two . I think six is usually the highest you can go on a die .

So I'd say probably like a one , one out of six . I'd say , but probably a one , and then the next opportunity I got to roll a die , I probably rolled like a one again , and then I rolled a lot of ones . You know , I'm sorry , I just no .

No , it's true , it's true , I rolled a lot of ones and then eventually I rolled like a three and then I rolled a five , but I kept trying .

I think if we could break success into five things , I think it would be success , holistic success , not just achievement externally Self-belief , self-worth , attitude , competence community Influences , yeah , influences Community Community Nice . We've got to do an episode on that . That's fine , you can work on .

I've already forgotten what they are , so I'll have to check after . It's how it goes . It's why I say it , and then it goes away self-belief , self-worth , yeah , attitude , yeah , competence , yeah community , community . Okay , those , those five . We'll put that down . Is it harder if you roll a one ?

Is it potentially harder to have self-belief and self-worth and attitude and competence and community ? Yes , I'm not saying circumstantially , it's not harder , because I think that's bullshit . I think that Somebody asked me on a podcast one time .

They said if there's somebody in a much less developed country right now listening to this podcast , do you believe they can be ? Essentially it was can anybody achieve their dreams ? And I said as much as I used to think so . It's way harder for certain people .

And I think saying things that are inaccurate I now associate with being irresponsible , because of my deep belief that accurate thinking would help us all . I use the self-driving car . If the car thinks there's a road there , it's actually a cliff .

People are going to drive off a cliff and then , you know , then blame themselves or blame the world , and when , in reality and it's just inaccurate thinking , you just didn't know . And unfortunately in this game of life , for lack of better phrasing , it's an infinite game , not a finite game . It's finite games within an infinite game , which I'll get into .

But I essentially said to her I just don't believe that that's accurate . I'm not trying to be unkind and this was really hard for me because it's her show and I'm not trying to be unkind , I'm just want to add value , but I don't actually think that's accurate . I don't think everyone is going to achieve that level and she said well , what do you mean ?

I said , well , we all are given certain potential . I said I would . I've been on podcasts with podcasters who I know could not reach the level that Kevin can , just because they don't have the competence , they don't have the genetic potential . Even when you were a kid , you were probably a strong communicator compared to the statistical norm .

When have you ever not gotten along with people ? Your whole life ?

You , even in the early days of podcasting , were more gifted at communication than most people , even at the beginning . Well , I appreciate that I appreciate that .

But okay , fair , the point is is that you people who have gifts don't recognize the value of those gifts because they've always had them . I was on a podcast yesterday , said I really wish that , and he was very honest . I appreciated this . He said I really wish that someone like me , my ideas and stuff .

I feel like some of them would have worked if I was better looking like you and the old me would have said no , no , like no , that's true , that's fair . It would be different . Now , can you hide behind that as an excuse ? Right , listen , some of us are good looking , some of us aren't . Some of us are tall , some of us are short .

I like to use dogs as a metaphor . We're all they're all dogs , but there's 240 species or whatever . We're all different types of human beings . If you don't think that's true , go swim with michael phelps or go play basketball with lebron james . It's not going to be close . It never could be , no matter how hard you try .

However , your worldview can be positive . You can take a hard rolling of a one , rolling of a one , rolling of a one , rolling of a one , and you can make it a two and roll a two and roll a two and roll a two and then roll a three and roll a three , but you can't get taller . You can't become a math genius just because you try real hard .

I went to college with math geniuses . I'm telling you there's some people who are just built different and they're working at Apple right now and that's okay and honestly , there's things that you are world-class compared to them . I mean , they are children . They can't change a tire to save their life , and I understand , neither can I .

I actually did change my own tire . But the point is is not everyone gets everything and some of us get more than others , not only in potential , but also in terms of upbringing . Some people's upbringing were born with a last name that had generational wealth . Some people do are born with generational wealth .

I know one person I'm thinking of who will be a multimillionaire for the rest of his life and he works one-tenth as hard as you and I One-tenth as hard as you and I , and he will always be wealthy because he was born into a family with generational wealth . That is a thing , but that doesn't mean Kevin and I should work less and complain about that .

We can do all we can with all we have , and we have many blessings . Blessings is the wrong word . We have many things to be grateful for and we have many , many , many things to not that were lesser than optimal .

It took me a long time to achieve any level of external success . It took me 25 years and I guess in the grand scheme of things that's not a super long time . But trust me , I thought I was Jeffed . I thought I was so Jeffed . I know it's funny when I tell the stories and Alan always laughs because it is funny .

I was studying to be a personal trainer because , like I'm love fitness , martial arts , if I could train people that'd be the best . I , out of courtesy , tell my boss one day hey , this won't be for a couple months , but I just want to give you a heads up . I'm studying to take the personal trainer exam , so I'll be looking for new jobs .

I got to call it 5.15 the next day . Don't bother coming in , you're fired . Huh , that backfired . Is that ? Even I don't think that's legal . Is that legal ? Can you do that ? Well , do whatever you want back then , then man pretty much so then I am now , however , I'm so sorry you're good man .

If you've thought to yourself , I want to try coaching , but you don't really know where to start , group coaching would be a wonderful place for you . That's really why we created it in the first place . We start a new round every 90 days .

So if you're hearing this , go to the website nextleveluniversecom , and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now . Even if there's a group going on right now , you can still lock your spot for the next one . The biggest thing that we've seen is , as we get closer and closer to the date , unfortunately , some people end up missing .

The group fills up and they can't do it , and then they end up regretting that . So please head over to the website . The link will be in the show notes , and we would love to see you there . So then I start working overnights and it's just brutal . It's just brutal . I have no social life . I'm staying up for days on end .

I felt like every time I rolled , I rolled a one . Every time it was a one . There was only ones available , like where am I going to work ? I remember one of my buddies worked at a Raytheon a big , a big company and he's like dude , I can try to get you in . There are positions .

It's like dude , they're not going to hire me , no way , I have nothing to offer on paper . I work really hard , I'll outwork anybody , but they don't know that . Everybody says that Right . So yeah , it was that . I just am stuck man .

Like , come on , you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself , because if you come on , you've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself , because if you feel sorry for yourself forever , you're just going to find ways to stay feeling sorry for yourself . That would be one . That would be the hard little gentle kick in the ass . Come on , kev , you're better than this .

You're better than this . That would be one . The second one would be Hmm , yeah , we've got to do something to shift the tide here .

I don't talk about this enough because I don't know why we're going back to certain fundamentals that we used to talk about at the Hyperconscious Podcast , because I feel like we were on to some things back then that now we can bring back into the fold .

One of the reasons because , statistically speaking , lose lose your dad , it to stepfather leaves at 14 , kind of lost three families by the time you're 14 years old , I mean , they're literally free lunch at school because we're so broke . There was no family wealth . No , my real last name isn't even Lazarus . And then just all the , all the stuff .

One of the things that I never lost self-belief always had a , for some reason , a big , bright future in my mind only in my mind , by the way , because nothing in my present was there were , I mean , just atrocities . And one of the things that did really help when I was with the WPI kids yesterday is , if we look hanging out , we were on a zoom meeting .

I remember thinking going to WPI was the best decision I ever made . It got me out of the small-minded town and I was exposed to a global group of individuals that were from all over the world and they were all freaking , super smart and they came from walks of life that were different . I mean a lot of my friends from college they were rich kids , man .

I mean , I was the only one who , like couldn't afford . They all have cars . They can like go out to eat , I like can't go . I never talk about this . I was like really broke in high school and college . I'm talking really broke , but yet we found a way . I think we found a way to not make it . Maybe I hid it or something , I don't know .

Maybe I made it seem like we weren't , because we had a nice home but we didn't know how to keep the home and the family , and so one of the things that really helped tremendously was just I did . I don't know if mentors found me or if I found them or if it was both , but I always had , like , stephen Bittar . I've never talked about Stephen Bittar .

He was a professor , my electrical engineering professor , stephen Bittar , he would mentor me and he would talk to me about life , and I think I was curious . I was on a podcast yesterday where Cameron he said , I'm perpetually fascinated by and I think about that . It's like that's a really great quote . A great quote perpetually fascinated by .

I am perpetually fascinated by life . I learned all about history from him yesterday the , the aristocracy , all this kind of stuff . I'm just sitting there listening because I'm fascinated , and we talked about more than that . But I always had mentors .

I actually don't think many of them were very good , to be completely honest , I'm not trying to be a dick , I just in . In hindsight it's like oh , you didn't really understand what you were talking about . I remember I emailed one of my best friend's fathers . I emailed him Me . What am I ? 18 , 17 , something like that .

I'm like , hey , this is Alan , I'm considering my career path and I I'm wondering if you think I should go get my MBA right out of college or if you think I should go to work first and then go back and get it . Dude , I never should have been emailing him . He didn't know .

. I'm very passionate about this , obviously . Are you doing all you can with all you have ? Dude , genetically , my mind , brain potential , it's there . I rolled a six . I know that . Nature and nurture Okay , nature is what you're born with in terms of your physical , mental , emotional , spiritual capacity .

Some people are mentally challenged I don't know what the politically correct term is . They are not born the same . We are not born the same . Okay , we all have different genetic potential . Nature I rolled a six . Baby . I rolled a six . Good for you .

Nurture I rolled a negative six and somehow I made a negative six into , like this amazing life that we have , and I'm fascinated perpetually by how the hell we did that , and one of the ways we did that is mentors , even though they were sucky . So start where you are , and sucky is relative to what we do for people now .

I won't say it wasn't 13. , 14 or hey , that's poor mentor . 14 or 15 . I won't say it wasn't 13. , 14 or 15 . That's a poor mentor . I didn't have my license . I know that . Yeah , yeah , probably 14 . It wasn't great .

What are you doing ? You just wrecked the whole night , Can't ? We came in second . We didn't even win the championship , you just broke the DVD man .

I think things are supposed to be what you make it . The problem is , if you make it in a way that you don't want it to be , you assume it's not right . And maybe it's not right based on where you want to go , but it's not .

You have a lot more control over your life than you think you do , but it probably requires and I'm not going to say the five things that we said are the things I don't know . That was just off the cuff , but if you have self-belief , you're more capable than someone who doesn't In certain ways .

If you have self-worth , you're more capable in ways than someone who doesn't . You can set boundaries better , whatever . If you have competence . If you're a good speaker , you're more likely to succeed at something that requires speaking . If you have a positive attitude , that goes . Most of the jobs I've gotten is because I had a good attitude .

I go out of my way not to help people that aren't good people . I'm not interested in helping you . I don't go find someone else . I'd rather help someone who's good for the world 100% . So that's another thing too . But yeah , if you roll a 1 , if a 1 was rolled for you , you can roll again . Now , are you going to go from a 1 to a 6 ?

Maybe not , maybe not , but you can go from a 1 to a 2 . You know , 2 to a 3 , 3 to a 4 , and maybe you don't ever get to 6 , or maybe you never get to somebody else's version of 6 , but your version of six , but your version of six has to be custom to you . My , my version of six is different than alan's version of six .

It's just , it's not the same . It things are different . I can't expect to have the same life as alan . I'm not the same as alan and I'm not willing to do the same things and I'm not willing to do things in the same way , and there's just so many things that go into it . So , on a very hyper conscious episode , today it's fire .

I think lectures are a part of it , studying is a part of it , books are a part of it . This podcast is a part of it . But get a coach or a mentor , get someone who can guide you . Get someone who can tell you what they wish . I coach a 24-year-old . I was a mess at 24 . This dude is crushing it . He's going to crush it . Mark my words .

I said mathematically . You know who you are Mathematically , in 10 years you're going to be . He already has 100,000 YouTube views . You're're not . He does three shorts a day , personally edited himself , publishes them , unbelievable tracks , metrics , habits .

You're gonna be amazing if you , if , if you can stick with it , you're gonna be unbelievably successful mathematically speaking , and we'll keep tweaking and along the way . So get a mentor . You need a good mentor , everybody needs a good mentor seriously , and make sure it's someone who leads by example , who's not full of shit to the last episode .

The stuff at the time that seems like the coolest stuff ever is probably the stuff that's most misleading . Yeah , you know , that's like that was the .

I just wanted to sit them down and go . Keep doing what you're doing . Keep getting a little better each day . Don't fail out of school . Get your degree at this school . Get your degree at this school . You guys are going to be fine . I wanted to say listen , all my friends from college are on their way to multimillionaire .

Most of them already are multimillionaires , you guys are going to be fine , but they don't know that at all . They're so , they're still , and they're very humble . I appreciate it . They're insecure and humble . It's like part of me just wants to say , like , listen to NLU each day . It's like part of me just wants to say listen to NLU each day .

And then you go get it and you realize , ah , some very , very awesome benefits , awesome . But there are also missing pieces that you think are going to get filled in that don't get filled in along the way . That's another episode . It is another episode .

All right , next up a nation , if you are looking for a group of like-minded humans , are into this type of stuff . Deep talks , a little philosophy occasionally , but self-improvement that is really the core of what we do .

That is what we are obsessed with , and the reason we do an episode every day is because we , alan and I , want to lead by example , and if we tell you there's an opportunity to get a little bit better every day , we better be leading the charge on that .

So that's why we do an episode every day , but there's a private Facebook group called Next Level Nation . We'll have the link in the show notes . Love to have you there if you're looking for community .

I'm going to help you align to get there , to be both successful and fulfilled . Reach out . I actually just booked I just saw one come through with my man , cameron , and 30 minutes for free breakthrough session and it usually goes over .

I know but coaching is my number one priority , so if anyone wants to coach conveniently , I will be up at night trying to help you be successful that is fair . I'll be thinking about it . I'll be thinking about it . I'll be your success . Strange hours hey brother , you need to read this . You need to go to sleep , that's what you need to do .