Is Being Obsessive Actually Bad? (2075)

But if you're obsessed with something positive , I feel like that's probably a pretty good thing , all things considered .

Okay , of conversation with Taryn , a lot of conversations with Alan , and Alan and I were talking today and I said , dude , I think the thing is I was obsessed with lowering my car payment , like I , every single day I was thinking of how can I lower my car payment ? What can I do ? Do I do that ? Do I buy it ?

We had a conversation earlier in the month where I said should I just buy the car now , like see how much that would be ? Would that make the payment lower ? Blah , blah , blah . There are certain things that I just get like obsessed with . For the longest time , when we had the podcast studio , I was obsessed with making it just a little bit better .

Yeah , like the lights . I don't like the way that looks . A little bookshelf , tv shelf that's not good enough . Tv Chairs .

so uncomfortable yeah they were , but that's all we could really afford honestly at nice they did look nice but they weren't .

If I was to get a text message from a client , that would fuck this whole episode up for me because anyone else notice I don't know if anybody else would , but it would . My internal dialogue would be like I would become obsessed with figuring out why they messaged me .

If there is an open problem when I come to record , it screws me up because I'm obsessed with figuring out how to close the problem and fix the problem , but I think it can be a really good thing . The reason I got a new car is not because I needed one . It's not even genuinely necessarily because I wanted one .

It's because I found a way to get a new car for cheaper than the car I had and we're focused on saving money . What can I do for you ?

And I think being obsessed you can replace the word obsessed Maybe you don't want to have the word obsessed Having something that is always on your mind as an intentionality . Cool , let's say that I am trying to always think about how to save money . Let me , let me figure out how to do that . I don't think it's a bad thing as long as it's constructive .

Now , if I'm obsessed with spending money , that probably isn't ideal .

And I don't know , I mean , I do know why I was in there , because they would all get together blah , blah , and I think back then I probably didn't want to be left out or felt obligated to be in there . But I never have done fantasy football ever in my entire life . I watched football .

I used to when Tom Brady , the Patriots , all this kind of stuff , new England but I never really cared that much . And these people were obsessed with football and I mean they know every stat , every player , every team , every schedule , all of it .

And I remember thinking to myself , if you guys and again this is going to come off dickish , but it is what it is I don't know if I care anymore . I used to say this in my head . I think I actually told them too , because I was probably naive enough to actually give them that feedback .

But I said if you guys spent one-tenth of the time and effort building your own career as you do , studying these other people's stats and careers , the amount of passion that you put into football and fantasy football , if you took that same passion , that same tenacity , that same consistency and you put it into your career , you guys would be so much better off .

And I was always trying to I don't know be a voice of reason and that didn't go well at all . But my point is is that you can be obsessed with things . We all are . People say you have an addictive personality . Human beings have an addictive personality . All human beings do . Read a book called the Molecule of More Talks about dopamine .

How addictive it is . Tiktok is addicting . Instagram is addicting . Youtube is addicting as fuck . All these things . Personal development can be addicting . So to me , if human beings have addictive personalities , and obviously that changes in frequency , intensity , density , duration Not all of us have the same level of addictive personality . I playfully joke .

I said I can't even do moderation in moderation . But the point that I'm making is , if you're intense and you have an addictive personality and you're obsessive , you just got to be really careful with what you choose . So I was obsessed with snowboarding and basketball and I had to quit those things .

I didn't have to , I chose to , and here's why I was trying to get really good at snowboarding and I was getting hurt . And basketball pickup basketball I would take it very , very seriously . I would be practicing drills . I wouldn't leave the court until 2 am because I'm trying to hit enough a certain amount . So I would time myself and see how many .

I would say okay , you can't leave this court until you get 10 shots in a row without a miss within 30 minutes and things like that . And it would be 10 shots in a row . And I'm not talking layups , I'm talking 10 shots in a row running around drills , my own , me versus me under the floodlight .

And I just realized you know what , alan , you're going to go out of fucking business For sure . If you're out here under the floodlights at 2am , no one cares if you're good at basketball .

So for me , being a great partner to Emilia , being a great CEO , being a great leader to the next level university team , being obsessed with coaching , training and podcasting I am so obsessed with coaching . I was on earlier with someone . We had a podcast pre-chat . I'm going on her podcast . She introduced . So Amy went on her podcast .

Amy Lenius , shout out to you . And she talked me up . Amy did and then she reached out to me and said , hey , can you come on my show ? And she booked an hour on the counter . I said , hey , is this a podcast pre-chat ? She said I want it to be half podcasting and , if it's okay with you , I'd love the other half to be coaching .

I was like , let's do it . I took her through the metrics , I took her through the habits , I took her through the systems . I was in Google sheets . I was rocking and rolling .

I actually we started on zoom , uh , and this computer , and I said , hey , we got to switch over computers , cause when I get into coach mode I mean I'm going to come at you and it's going to be . Are you ready ? She's like I'm so pumped , she loved it . My point is what you get obsessed with kevin's obsessed with podcasting and you're not .

And I'm obsessed with coaching and you're not . It's going to be really hard to compete with that person . And if you find what you're obsessed with and some people out there might be saying , well , I'm not really obsessed with anything , and I've heard this a thousand times and I'm going to debate this live , well , I don't want it to feel like work .

It's better than work you hate . I have someone who is obsessed with making their own shampoos , making their own conditioner shampoo . I said you could easily . I could teach you how to build a business out of that . I'm telling you there's a lot of people who want chemical-free shampoos . I would buy it . I can teach you how to do Instagram marketing branding

.

So again , at the end of the day , I'm all for obsession , I'm obsessed with obsession and I'm ready to rock .

But and I appreciate the question early on , you and I , I think we're passionate out of naivete Personal development and self-improvement and mental health , and we're going to be holistic and we're going to help people achieve their goals and dreams and I think that we had a positive attitude . We had a really positive attitude .

We were super optimistic and really positive attitude Me more than you , but overall you had a really good attitude too and I felt like we brought a lot of enthusiasm . And I listened to a clip recently shout out to Odette , one of my clients . You saw it .

She posted one of the masterminds from way back the hyper-conscious days and we had such a positive attitude back then . We were so naive but really enthusiastic about personal development . We loved personal growth . And then we got cynical I will speak for myself . I think you did too . But we started to learn the industry .

We started to learn how full of shit everyone is . We started to meet all our heroes and they fell from the pedestal and I got fucking cynical man . So I think it started . It didn't feel like work in the beginning , partially because we weren't fucking working I'm kidding .

Then it started to feel like a grind where it was I have to do this more than I get to do this and I'm bringing back that I get to , so it feels it feels good again I for me it does .

Yeah , agreed , it's not like um , yeah , I never punch in or punch out , because that's not real when you're a business owner , at least not for the first decade . But it doesn't . It is work , but it doesn't feel like a job . I guess maybe that's that's the point I'm trying to make .

We used to do hours Not sustainable . So we're all green right now , which was big . We haven't had all green in a while .

And family what we mean by that is her mom , her dad , her sister , her brother , my mom , but , more importantly , me , her and our fur babies . So family was green , fitness was green , finance was green . For both of us . On the pyramid , we do her side and my side , and it's green , green , green all the way up . So the whole thing is green .

And so I'm obsessed with fitness , I'm obsessed with finance , I'm obsessed with business , I'm becoming obsessed with family , which is interesting for me . Like Emilia and I are going to start a family , that's becoming a very different feel for me . I never felt family oriented and I'm definitely becoming that , and I'm obsessed with coaching for sure . For sure .

I'm obsessed with fitness , business and personal development as well . I've obviously thought about this a bit . What about you ?

Every time I walk out , Fudge sees me , he looks at me and he flops over because he knows I have to give him bellies .

Yeah , I just had that moment of .

Were like no , that ain't it that ain't it they're , they're too young , they're not gonna remember them .

For sure I love making money and I I like spending it too , but I'm learning to become obsessed with spending less money , for sure , because it's it's not sustainable to do the other thing . What else am I obsessed with ?

That's a lot of money and , as I used to think it was that much money . That's such a different perspective for you now because I realize I just think I have a deeper understanding of where that money could be going . You know , I , I still loved , I love . I'm actually picking up the car tomorrow .

So if you're listening to this , I'm picking up the car in a couple hours probably . But check out Kev's social media . I'm sure there'll be some stuff , check out my socials , but I , I don't know . I think I , just as I've matured . It's the question is is it worth it ? Is it worth it to spend X amount on this ? No , not really , not really .

And again , you're always looking over my shoulder in a good way , not a bad way , so I know you're going to see it if I buy something . Chief financial officer of the company . So I'm always thinking would I be able to justify this to alan honestly , a lot of times , like if you I spent 30 on food this weekend , if you said , hey , did you need that ?

It's like no , but fuck you , I'm gonna spend 30 a week . Right , like I know , we're trying to save money but we're also not trying to suffer too , too bad yeah it's that , it's that fine line . So I don't . Honestly , it's strange and I think you , really you need a lot of necessity .

There needs to be a lot of necessity to do something like that , because for me at least , it affects everything . I have to talk myself from doing it all the time . Don't buy that . You don't need to buy this . I'm looking at floor mats for my car . I'm buying an expensive car . I want to get floor mats . This is what I did last time .

I went and got weather tech ones that were 200 bucks . I was like no chance , can't do it . Let me find some budget ones . And even then I'm like is it cheaper just to buy new floor mats like the car has , if they go bad , or are they even gonna care when I trade it in in three years ?

Maybe we'll just , maybe we'll ride the lightning on it it's not a d Diderot effect .

Hello , hello , hello . Nlu listener . Thank you , as always , for listening to Next Level University . Real quick , I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner . This is a journal that I use every single day . Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time . It breaks down your dreams into goals , milestones and daily habits .

We hope you enjoy it . The link will be in the show notes . It's called the Diderot effect . Yeah who ? Charles Diderot .

But he realized once he had a really nice shawl that everything else in his house was a real piece of shit and he just started buying nicer everything . That's one of the things that people don't realize . That , I think , is very , some , very much something on my radar . Once I get nice things , I have to be careful not to upgrade everything . You , you do .

You have to be really careful . I it's the , the word is conscientious . You're just a lot more conscientious than you used to be . Conscientiousness is and you can look this up chat , gpt , google it's the most correlated with business success , success in general , career success , like and I'm just again it's going to seem like I'm picking on Kev , but I'm not .

If , if , kev , if I went to Kev eight years ago and I talked to that man and I interviewed him for for to be the a chief officer at next level university , there's no way I would hire you because you just weren't conscientious . What would you ask me ? I wouldn't ask you . What would I ask you ?

I would sit down with you and I'd go through my sort of filter and I'd check in on a lot of stuff . I would start you out with something small , and I wouldn't . I would still hire you and I know this is a weird conversation , but I would still hire you . I just wouldn't hire you as a chief officer . Let me explain why .

You just weren't conscientious enough . You can't trust you . Eight years ago with this company , you're going to drive this thing off a fucking cliff for sure I still might today . I still might , you definitely won't but I I never really understood this . There's that whole thing of with great power comes great responsibility .

That's true when you , when you're building a business that's a multi-million dollar business , you have a big responsibility . You can't just buy shit because you want to . It's so opposite of what people think . Well , that's why it's so hard . You guys grossed a million dollars . You guys must be able to .

No , the reason we grossed a million dollars is because we are conscientious enough to make good choices and to serve 106 clients consistently and over deliver consistently , consistently and over deliver consistently .

And so the more you earn success , the more is required of you , and I'm grateful because you and I I told Kevin this off air I said we've we learned through hard knocks how how to lead .

. You're just .

We were cleaning out one of the closets and somehow this we're not sponsored by ragano pastas or lenny and larry .

We had a client message us and say , hey , something's a little wonky , can you check on it ? And you know me , it's like , yep , on it , let me see what I can do . Boom , boom , boom . It wasn't us , it had nothing to do with us , it was their team , it was their internal stuff .

But I sent a message to the team and after I sent kind of like an apology message . This was an opportunity for me to improve . This is an opportunity for me to improve . This is an opportunity for me to make sure that this thing that wasn't actually an L can become a W . It's fake , but I'll say , yep , we're on it .

And then I'll kick it to you and it might seem presumptuous like we , we screwed something up when we didn't . I want everybody to know that if I ever do that , it's not out of a place of intention , and even that doesn't make it right . So let me try to do better with that , like I'm gonna . I'm gonna try to do better with that .

I know I have to get way better at everything I'm doing and I really am obsessed with doing it because it feels good to get better . Yeah , it does , even though sometimes it sucks , so that it can be addicting to get better . I don't know if that's an addiction I have . I'm also obsessed with sleep . I become like really , really obsessed with sleep .

Lately , my sleep has been pretty dialed in , which is good Cause that's not that's pretty new for me , but that might fall under fitness .

So , yeah , I would say I would say that and , honestly , I am obsessed with being the type of person I needed I'm I know it sounds fortune cookie somebody we get so many emails of like , hey , I would love to be on your podcast .

Or hey , dingo jones is a world-renowned author where I'm reaching out so he can come he or she can come on the podcast 99 times out of 100 . I don't even respond . I'm not going to respond because there's no point . It's these people get rejected enough . They don't . This is part of the process .

But somebody emailed me and it was like this person seems like a good person . It seemed like a good person . It was a great email , super respectful , cool . Sent them an audio message . Nice , david , my friend . Thank you so much for reaching out . I appreciate it . Unfortunately , we don't have guests anymore . You know the old adage don't meet your heroes .

It's a trap , it's kind of true . It is it kind of true ? I won't bore you with any of the details . Nice , but you seem like a super positive person . You and your partner seem to be doing something awesome . This isn't a fit , but I do appreciate you reaching out and I wanted to send you a message . That's what me would do .

That's the type of person that I want to be . That's what that's what that person would do , and that can be bad at times , for sure , but I still I have not seen the detriment of that

yet , and I'm sure one day it will . I just realized I didn't mention my number one obsession um chicken nugs reaching my full potential yeah , I , I figured that was the number one Close , you were close . Yeah , it's not far off . Not far off . Yeah , it's not far off .

And then three obsessions around it . So my one word is potential , reaching my full potential . And then the three obsessions are fitness , personal development and business Little triangle with the one word in the middle , but reaching . And one of the things that I cannot seem to get away from this , and that's when you know you're obsessed with it .

For anyone watching or listening , it's something that you miss . You just cannot get away from it . No matter what you do , every conversation , everything you are , everything you do , ends up being about this . One for me is film . I mentioned probably 6,000 movies on this podcast .

Now , that means that I did two movies every episode , but I've probably mentioned 200 movies at least Already . No , no , not on this episode , but on the podcast .

This is something for everybody out there to find their obsession . If you wonder , why doesn't anyone else like why ?

My whole life I've always wondered like why are you so okay with not reaching your potential ? I've been out of shape before . I've been really freaking out of shape before . I've been more out of shape than most people , but it always bothered me . It bothered me so much and I always wondered like why doesn't that bother more people ?

And it's because I'm obsessed with fitness and they're not . I'm obsessed with reaching my potential and they're not . That's a good way to find out your obsession . Look around and what is the thing that you care about so deeply , so deeply Like you couldn't imagine your life without it , and other people are just like eh , no , I mean word , I'm good .

Last story I promise I was at lunch one time . One of my clients listening will remember this . Emilia and I were at lunch and this client of mine was dating someone who I did not approve of . They're not anymore . And we went to lunch , emilia and me , her and her partner and I .

I talked about goals and dreams , as I do , naturally , and she's like , no , I'm good . And I was like no , no , I mean , you know what's the next level for you ? What's you know what's next to you ? She's like no , no less , I'm good . I was like you're fucking 24 . No , there's no next . Like you're , this is it , you're done .

And I remember , and first of all , emily and I had a conversation the way home . We said , well , that's the last time we ever get lunch with them , and I know that sounds mean , but the truth is , if you don't want to reach your potential at all , and you're done , there's no next level , you're done , completely done . I'm just gonna be a pain in the butt .

So I've learned over time not to associate with people like that and it turns out that person sucks bad . But at the end of the day , I remember thinking to myself you're 24 years old , you can't be done with your career like . This is a ladder you're supposed to climb . Imagine just being done like no , I'm good no , I'm good .

That's fine , okay , yeah , that's that's not necessarily good , but I do . I do think it's an obsession . I want to treat people nicely . I don't want to be a dick well , 100 .

That's an indicator that you have something that other people don't , something that's 10 out of 10 meaningful for you makes me a better man , dude she doesn't care , like she doesn't care about how successful quote-unquote I am .

24 7 365 for his wife and he has to be wildly conscientious and successful . I mess up , I . I mess up , I get stressed out I . My state is I'm not always bubbly no , but I , I want , want people to know I fuck up all the time .

When you , when we wanted to do this episode , you suggested it , I remember thinking obsession is a really good thing for success . It can be very dangerous in relationships yeah , in the , especially in the wrong relationships An obsession might as well be a core value . A core value , that means 10 out of 10 .

I can't imagine a life where I'm not pursuing my full potential , and if you're around me , you're either pursuing your full potential or I'm counting the seconds to leave , because I just it's who I am .

He doesn't want to fight me . Come on , sir . He's 60 . You know you don't want to come on . I know you think you're and he thinks he's very badass , but he's not . I know you've been to jail , I don't care and that's not a flex sir , I don't what cool man strong , strong work .

I disappoint this dude every time he tries to like walk over to me and I just ignore him , not interested , or I just shake my head nope , not talking , not for you . So that's proud of you , man , that's awesome

I appreciate it .

We couldn't be ourselves . Well , it's not for me .

But if you don't want to be better at speaking and I'm obsessed with it who do you think is going to get further ? 100% , and I'm obsessed with it . Who do you think is going to get further ? If you are obsessed with making the world a more positive place , you're going to do that for longer and more intensely than other people .

So yeah that You're going to get further with your obsession than probably anything else .

We have a private Facebook group called Next Level Nation and it is designed exactly for that . This is the group that we wanted at the beginning , when we were just grinding it out , trying to figure out what the next step was . So we'll have the link in the show notes . You are welcome . We would love to have you .

You're going to be surrounded by other next level people who want to get to the next level .

. We're obsessed with consistency . Achieve your 90, . Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time . Nice Dreamliner Link in the show notes .