¶ Intro / Opening
How many goals have you had that you just woke up one day and said , eh , this isn't aligned , or maybe this isn't the person I want to be , or maybe I'm not willing to do the work or the effort necessary . Versus , if you've ever had a philosophy about life , if you've ever had a mission statement , a credo , is it called a credo ? It could be .
I think it might be called a credo If you've ever had that . It doesn't really change , it evolves , and I think those are very different .
I think that we can uncover what we believe and who we really are , and I think that that's the process of growth , and I always say this to my clients Make sure your goals are in alignment with your core essence .
Welcome to Next Level University . I'm your host , kevin Palmieri , and I'm your co-host , alan Lazarus .
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Welcome to Next Level University , next Level Nation , today for episode number 2087 . Here's why goals aren't enough . You know us , we're big on goal setting , we're big on habit tracking , we're big on all that . And what if setting the goal every single time or setting a new goal just isn't enough ? So taryn and I were watching alone .
I get a lot of ideas from alone . For those who don't know , alone is a show where you go out in nature and I think they pick 10 contestants and you got to survive longer than everybody else . What do you ?
got . Do they sign a waiver of you might die ? Do I have to ? Yeah , this one's in Australia . So like there is a lot of , there's a lot of stuff in Australia , something crazy , like 80% of the population of Australia is all like on the side where Sydney is Interesting 5.6 million people in .
Sydney . I did not know that . So this is actually in Tasmania , which I didn't realize I believe is an island south of Australia .
Total population of Australia 27 million . I believe it's a big place for 27 million . That's what I'm saying , not a lot of people . My point of that is that show is probably scary as fuck because Emilia , she used to travel there and there were caves that she went deep into and saw .
I mean , she was in places where she's like I'm not sure that more than 100 people had ever been . It's a hard pass . Yeah , she's braver . There was villagers and villages and stuff she was telling me all about it Braver than I . Yeah , sweetheart , that's kind of reckless but also kind of awesome .
So here's the point . Okay , I have a delusional belief that I could stay out there longer than most people probably . Maybe delusional , maybe not , maybe we'll figure it out , I don't know . But taran and I are watching it and there was like three people who left on the second day and I was like what do you mean ? Like didn't you you ?
You had to expect this was gonna be hard , right , like what ? Well , you know , I couldn't get a fire started . It's like you didn't do more research on how to start fire . I don't understand . Like what ? We didn't . We didn't come fully prepared here .
¶ Identity Vs. Outcome-driven success
The goal of I'm going to stay here longer than anybody else and get $250,000 is not as big as some of the people who have a philosophy of . I am somebody who figures out how to overcome and succeed , no matter what . There's a guy . There's a guy . He built a canoe . He brought a tarp . He built a canoe . This thing is world-class .
He puts it in the water , he's floating out Thing sinks . He says , ah shit , saves his canoe , rebuilds it and goes back out and built a fishing rod and built a reel . This dude is a G . I think he's probably going to win Because his philosophy it's not about the goal it's .
This is the type of person that he is , where I think some of the other people and again , would I last ? Probably not . I probably would not last out there . So don't last longer than two days , man . I think I'd last longer than two days , but also , yeah , so , taryn . So my brother-in-law's wife's brother-in-law won a loan . Alan , he won the fucking show .
That's awesome .
My wife's brother's uncle's cousin's nephew .
I'm like it's kind of sort of not really related to him , but I met him at a wedding . Super cool dude . He won one of the seasons . That's awesome , and he was . I think he was out there of the seasons , that's all he was . I think he was out there for like 45 days and he was like I could have stayed .
I could have stayed out there for a lot longer . It's like my goodness , but that's who he is . So , yeah , there's a difference between setting a goal and then creating a philosophy , and I thought it would . It would be cool to talk about
¶ The power of personal philosophy
that well .
We've talked about this in group coaching . We've talked about this on monthly meetups . There's three main facets of all of us . There's the identity level . That's the deepest level . Then there's the process level . Results often come as a result of great process and then there's the result . The result is last .
If you want a better result , you have to have a better identity At the beginning . When we did the embarrassment episode two or three episodes ago , we talked about the top 10 most embarrassing moments . The difference is Kevin back then had a very different identity than Kevin now , and this is fixed mindset versus growth mindset . This is so .
What is your personal philosophy about life , AKA , what's your personal philosophy about yourself ? Are you someone who never gives up ? I saw a video brian tracy . Brian tracy is in his late 80s . I want to say and by the way , I did look it up australia is 27 million people . I don't know why that's important to me .
It's just I like to know stats about the globe . I'm a big fan . I want to understand how the whole world works and you got to know . So that means 5.6 million people are in one area in that whole continent . It's wild . That's crazy , right ? Yeah ? So AKA , this show is in the wilderness of the wilderness of the wilderness , right I mean .
This is far from any .
Yeah , yeah , this is the no , this is . This is out in the middle of you . Got to get a boat to come get you , or a helicopter in some cases .
This is out in the middle of nowhere , yeah and you sign a thing that says , if you die , it's they don't ?
they don't really talk about that , but I have an assumption that they have to say look , if something bad happens to you , it's not on us , and this is nature .
Like we can't control this , I have to assume yeah , for sure , for sure , just like when I was almost cast for love island .
Hey , just so know , if you lose your soul , it's not our fault If you come home with a giant cocaine habit . That's on you , not us . That's on you , not us , Seems fair .
Yeah , and if you lose and destroy all of your relationships and your future reputation , that's not on us . Okay . So anyways , the philosophy , the identity , what's your belief about yourself ? When we're little kids , we identify as a certain thing and this is really outside of our control , unfortunately .
So let's say you're a little kid and you start playing sports and you suck . If you identify as oh shit , I suck , then you're not going to continue to get better , you're not going to continue to play sports . So for me , I was told I'm bad at English , I'm really good at math , so naturally I was drawn to math .
And then I got better at math and then I just ran off to the races and I got straight A's in every math class I've ever done . I've never gotten a B in math in my entire history of my life . And the unfortunate part about that is , if you develop a fixed mindset about yourself , in any area , you're basically so .
This is one of the problems about personal development and it honestly struggle . It's a struggle for me as a coach . People's identity is so limiting . People be like well , I'm not that gritty , why the fuck not ? What do you mean ? Like you can develop grit . There's studies on this . I'm gritty , you're super gritty . It annoys me that you don't highlight that .
You're like ah yeah , kind of Dude . You'd last more than two days . Of course you would .
I don't know , man . My issue is again the being hungry and being cold part . Like I don't really worry too much about that , it's the . I don't know if I want to kill an animal to eat it . Seriously , Like it . One of the dudes judo chopped the fish to death . He caught a fish and he just , judo , chopped it to death .
I was like whoa , you have to man , you gotta survive .
I don't know , though , but it's for a show .
Right , yeah , you watch . What is it ? What's the guy ? British ex-Special Forces goes out into the wilderness . Man vs Wild is wild Bear Grylls .
It's like Bear Grylls , you didn't have to listen that whole show Fake . Yeah , yeah , that whole show . Dude used to sleep in hotels Fake .
No , I'm serious . The whole show is fake . It's like eating Taco Bell in a hotel . Yeah , yeah , the whole show is fake . After killing a 200-year-old tortoise , there was a scene where he , like , he's like found the .
It's right next to the road . This is you can literally pull your car over and do the same thing that he did . The whole thing's fake .
Sorry , bear , you're a fraud allegedly , allegedly , allegedly allegedly
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So the point of this episode , though , is the identity level , and here's the thing . In my coaching , I'm always trying to and I said this to a client recently because I've been coaching with her for a long time I said I'm trying to reprogram you .
You know and you're giving me permission to do that Like , everything we talk about is me just realigning your beliefs .
So when we did the episode about the 10 embarrassing moments and you went back and told those stories , my brain had a lot of things come up of how fucking limited you used to think and I'm not trying to be unkind , I just this version of Kevin is so much more capable than that version of Kev , because this version of Kevin has a growth mindset and he's not
limited by I'm not gritty or I'm not that smart . Like what do you even mean ? I'm not that smart compared to who . What are we even talking about , right ?
So , unfortunately , when we're kids , we don't know about a growth mindset and we don't know about neuroplasticity and we don't know that you can change your brain chemically , functionally and structurally , and you don't know
¶ Reprogramming beliefs through coaching
that you can . Basically , I mean , you can become thousands of times better over time and anyone can do this , even if you're starting from a very , very , very low place . Cause a lot of people will say , well , what about mentally challenged people and all this kind of stuff ? They can get a lot better too . They , everybody can get a lot better .
Like there's no one who is like capped , you can't get any better . And I had a client with no arms and no legs . It's unbelievable . Like , what people are capable of is unbelievable , but we limit ourselves with these fucking identities .
So , anyways , my philosophy , my personal philosophy , is an identity that I think is empowering , and I used to have disempowering identities . Like you know , I'm really fun .
That was a really disempowering identity for me , because I would try to be fun and that was really detrimental with the alcohol and the parties , and so the identity you hold changes everything , and I'm all about goals . I think goals is one third of the equation , I think goals , process and identity .
But identity hands down is the most important because hopefully your goals are a byproduct of your identity .
How does somebody make a philosophy ? We only have like five minutes squad just because Alan and I are crunched on time today . But how does somebody make a philosophy ? How does that happen ?
Well , you and I I said this probably around episode 400 or something way back I said we're kind of modern day philosophers and you said interesting , how do you make a philosophy ? It's a belief about life , it's a belief about yourself , it's a belief about your purpose , and all of those are made up Like you don't . You can choose .
You didn't decide to speak English . You were born in an English-speaking country . You didn't decide to be jacked . You wanted significance and were short and girls didn't like short guys that weren't jacked . I'm going to change my belief about myself and then you have to work on it or you have to have a coach who gets the aha moment for you .
Emilia always jokes . She says you give everyone the goddamn fish . Like , let them learn to fish . Listen , I don't have time for that shit . Like I got to get this fish and give it to them because I don't . I'm not convinced they're going to go do this contemplation on their own .
And so , for example , I have one client who thought she was really unattractive and it's just wrong . You're absolutely wrong . I'm certain . No one else thinks that . I'm 100% certain . Actually , they fucking told me and you're just inaccurate .
So you have to change your identity , and that takes a long time because inside she still feels like a three , even though the outside world sees her as a , as a ten , and that's really unfortunate because she's only going to do things that a three would do . She's not going to know her true value and I think it's really detrimental to have the wrong identity .
So how do you do it ? You literally have to like affirm , affirm , affirm , and this is why I think affirmations are good as long as they're not delusional . Affirmations are really important if they're accurate . Yeah , like you were not dumb . You thought you were dumb , I wasn't smart .
Compared to who , what does that even mean ? Compared to who I knew I needed to be .
I think that Kids or something .
Well , I mean , when I was younger , yeah , compared to other kids , but when I started this journey , it was I'm not as smart as I need to be and I never will be , and that's the fixed mindset . No , no , I think that's a growth . I'm never going to be as smart as I need to be .
Oh okay , yeah , yeah , right , it's forever it's gonna be before yeah for before , definitely super fixed mindset
¶ How new identities unlock growth
. Now it's like a growth mindset with the understanding that that is just never . It's never going to get to the place where it's enough . How did you change ?
all because you changed your beliefs more than I did , for sure .
I think I just I think I just handcuffed my beliefs to ones that were already somewhat positive and tell you , bodybuilding for me was like such a cheat code for doing this , because I expect to suffer . I know it's going to kind of suck and it is what it is . That's kind of .
I mean , that is one of my philosophies If you want results outside of what you currently have , you must do and become something outside of what you currently are . Like . That's a . That is a massive philosophy for me . What's your ?
identity now Give us a couple .
I can figure out just about anything nice with enough time super empowering with enough time , I can figure out just about anything , which is great .
That's huge when you didn't have that before right no , definitely not .
Yeah , no , no , no just that one shift in belief changes your whole life yeah , and it also potentially creates more pain , which you have to be prepared for too , because you're going to say yes to things that you might not have said yes to .
So it's not always upside , but there can be upside at the end of it that I'm super consistent , like I'm a very , very consistent human being , for sure , I do the same shit pretty much every day , uh , what else . Give me one more . I'm really good at suffering , like that's a piece of my identities . I'm .
I'm really good at suffering , like that's a piece of my identities . I'm , I'm really good at suffering and I just have to be honest , like honest with it . I haven't been tracking calories as well as I need to . Like I need to get back into that , kev . What are we doing here , man ? Like you're going to be hungry . Just fucking deal with it .
You want the goal or not ?
for the listeners . There's such an interesting thing , cause are three . I know we got to go those . Those are really empowering , but they come with downsides because
¶ Life mantras that guide us
I'm really good at suffering . You might not take care of yourself as well as you could . You're really good at figuring things out , but you might spend a lot of time with shit . That is not a great use of your time . And then what was the other one ? I'm really consistent . Yeah , you might be consistently doing the wrong shit , for I remember kev would .
I said this years ago . He'll run a system for years , but he will not improve it .
Just tell me what to do and I'll do it . But you got to tell me to do it better . If you want me to do it better not not as much anymore like now I'm I'm at the place where I'm . I do better with that , I'm just . That's just not my natural .
My natural tendency is not an improver , my natural tendency is a doer and I just hope it will improve if I do it enough . But it doesn't . That's not the way it really works .
Nice , so you wanted to give a personal philosophy is super fast . And then we got to go . Yeah , yeah , I got to go . Okay , quickly , what's your one sort of credo ? And what we hoped is that everyone would have their own mantra about themselves . Highest self writing one sentence to your , to your lower self or to your human self , highest self .
Writing one sentence to your lower self or to your human self , highest self to human self . What's your one sentence ?
I think if you are the type of person that you looked up to , that is a really good suggestion , that you're on the path . Nice , just be the person that you needed , and I'm pretty sure you're going to be way more successful . If you just did that , nice , I would say that's the simplest version .
Nice . Mine is to reach my own unique potential and help others do the same . Everything else is secondary . That's a mantra that I live by and that helps me pick my goals and do my processes and say yes and no . It's a filter . It's a filter .
It is a filter . All right , if you need and you think it would be valuable for us to do a part two on this where we can talk more about it , because I know this one's a . This was a quick one . Just let us know and we will do a part two . As always
¶ Outro
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