Circumstances Matter And It’s Important To Understand How (2103)

we have basic access to to do what we have basic access to .

However , in a way , you really can't rely on that because , even if resources and circumstances are not good , you still have to believe in your own bigger , better , brighter future in order to be resourceful and actually achieve something .

And I said , as much as it will pain me to tell you this , my perspective on this has shifted a lot , because I wanted to be the guy who said , yes , no matter where you are , what you're going through , what you've been through , whatever you can accomplish your wildest dreams .

And then I said but honestly , I went on a podcast one time that was hosted by somebody in Nigeria and I don't know what their living situation was like . They did the podcast outside , on their cell phone , with no equipment and maybe the weakest internet possible to do the actual interview , and I said this person was great .

We got along amazingly , do I was a person I don't know begin with an m no , I don't remember this person's name . I don't remember .

I'm saying that because I feel like it would be irresponsible of me to say , yeah , they could definitely accomplish their wildest dreams . There's a story of a fighter . His name's Francis Nganu . He's . From where is he from ? I believe somewhere in Nigeria . One of the wildest stories ever of all time .

He used to dig ditches for I won't even say a living , because I'm sure he was not paid enough to live on and he literally left and walked across the desert and somehow made it to the us and became a professional fighter and was one of the best fighters of all time .

The reason it's so powerful is the likelihood that that is never going to happen again to somebody else real quick

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And I think it's also important to admit what the circumstances are , because some dreams , some goals , some desires can be reckless if you don't play into effect the circumstances and you don't weigh them .

And I was on a podcast earlier today with a hypnotherapist and he loved the interview so much that he already asked me to come back . And he loved the interview so much that he already asked me to come back . I said yeah , absolutely , because it was a tremendous interview . Just an awesome dude . And what do I mean by awesome dude ?

Let me actually unpack this Humble grateful that I was there , gracious when I was a couple minutes late . Not entitled , literally said I know you're a busy guy . I'm so glad that you invested the time . Just appreciative gratitude , grateful , not entitled , if you want to be someone who I adore . Just be grateful .

Do you know how many times a day I think about having running water and I think about having nice clothing and I have central air ? That is not a thing in some parts of the world , many parts of the world , many parts of the world , many parts of the world . It's so important I do what's called perspective

resets . I'm actually reading a book called Flowers for Algernon right now , and one of the reasons I love that book is it's contemplating . The ignorance is bliss thing . There's a mentally challenged man it's a fictional book and they give him a brain surgery that increases his IQ from basically 50 all the way to surpass 150 .

And he throughout the journey it's in the first person and throughout the journey , as he gets smarter , it's very depressing because he realizes all of his friends were actually making fun of him and he realizes that he was actually too dumb to understand and all this stuff .

And the reason why I love reading that book at night when I can't sleep is because it reminds me of how grateful I should be for my brain . I'm a very intelligent human being . I can't take that for granted . I remember I was snowboarding once and I got a concussion and when I woke up I thought I was in my bed . I was not .

I went to do a rail and I don't even remember what happened . Apparently , I smashed my head . Someone from the chairlift told me . And I remember thinking what a fucking entitled asshole you are . You better wear a helmet from now on . I was doing math equations in my head the moment I woke up to see if I was still smart .

Dude , do you know how nice it is to get straight A's without having to try that hard . No , I don't . It's the best thing in the entire world . Everything's open to you when you're really , really , really capable . I'll give you an example . So I was a loser in high school and I could never get a girl like Emilia . I felt powerless . I felt hopeless .

I couldn't get a girl to talk to me . No-transcript , easy . Why can't I get these girls to pay attention to me ? Because I look like a freaking girl . That's the reason . Okay , I don't have any . They have chest hair and pit hair and they have beards Right . And so you're powerless when you don't feel capable

. And to bring this back to the

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, everyone has different circumstances . Kevin is a short man . He's never going to have as many prospects as I'm going to Do . You know how many girls say , oh no , kevin's good looking . And then they're like , oh , but I'd never date him , though I can't date a short man . That's like 80% of women will not date a shorter man . It's fair .

At least that's the statistical . I mean , you can read a book called Dataclysm , the guy who started OKCupid . He has all the data on this Height and income and all that stuff . We can tell ourselves a story all day . The truth is the truth and the truth is circumstances matter , and they matter a lot . I couldn't change the fact that I was prepubescent .

I can't change the fact that I look like a kid . I can't change the fact that I didn't hit puberty until I was freaking 30 . But I can change certain things . I can work harder , I can get smarter , I can be resourceful , I can learn how to speak effectively and communicate .

So , at the end of the day , it's this duality you have to hold in your consciousness of circumstances matter , and I have to leverage the resources I have , the country I'm born in , the opportunities available to me , the network available to me , because when I was on that podcast earlier , I said he said how did you do this ?

Your childhood was so challenging . Some people , when they have trauma I'm a hypnotherapist . So some people , when they have trauma , they go the other way and I said the truth is I had a lot of self belief and I used to think that I built that . Some of that is because I probably had gifting that I unconsciously knew .

When you're a little kid , you look around , you play board games with people , you play video games with people , you play sports with people and you size yourself up . It's like , oh , I guess I'm pretty smart then .

And then you go to school and you're smarter than all the other kids and you don't know why , and you're like , oh , I guess I'm smart , this is awesome . Why do I beat everyone at everything ? Okay , what is this about ? Right , except for sports , obviously ?

And you , just you have this identity based on and I used to wonder is self-belief something you build or is it something you have because you have unconscious competencies and your genetics ? And I think it's both .

There are some people and Flowers for Algernon it's a fictional story , but the guy's name is Charlie in the book . Charlie should not have as much self-belief as me because Charlie cannot achieve what I can achieve . He doesn't have the genetics to be able to do that . That's why we call it mentally challenged .

We all have different physical , mental , emotional , emotional and spiritual capacities and we can all maximize them . But at the end of the day , where you were born matters . How you were born matters .

Nature versus nurture it's obviously both and , at the end of the day , not everyone's going to be LeBron James or Michael Jordan or name whoever , and I think that it's so important for everyone to understand . Yes , you can maximize your unique potential , but your unique potential is your potential , not someone else's .

And no matter how hard you try you're , you're never going to be able to become something that you just aren't meant to be .

I was like dude , I need to ask you so many questions ? It was awesome , just a good dude and he is focused on achieving his potential . I want to achieve my potential and he said you think it ever gets to a point where you get ? Because I said it's . It's okay to have a positive relationship with the fact that you'll never actually achieve your potential .

He said do you think it ever crosses a chasm when you get older where you look back and realize , wow , I used to be in better shape , I used to be smarter ? I said I don't think you could compare to that because those aren't your circumstances anymore .

Next level nation . What is happening ? If you've thought to yourself I want to try coaching , but you don't really know where to start , group coaching would be a wonderful place for you . That's really why we created it in the first place . We start a new round every 90 days .

So , if you're hearing this , go to the website nextleveluniversecom , and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now . Even if there's a group going on right now , you can still lock your spot for the next one . The biggest thing that we've seen is , as we get closer and closer to the date , unfortunately , some people end up missing .

The group fills up and they can't do it , and then they end up regretting that . So please head over to the website . The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there . Should I compare 36 year old Kev to 18 year old Kev ? I don't know , I don't think so . 36 year old Kev to 18 year old Kev ? I don't know , I don't think so .

If I'm going to say I'm way smarter now than I was , because I've had way more time to learn and I also had the testosterone of a small , wilder beast when I was 18 . And I probably don't have that level of testosterone anymore you definitely don't . Then you definitely don't . Circumstantially , should I be okay ? Am I going to compare to 18-year-old Kev forever ?

Or am I going to compare to 35-year-old ?

That's circumstances , that is circumstantial , that is important and that's why when people say , well , money doesn't matter , yes , it fucking does . Money matters a lot . It matters a lot .

I . I went to . I went to register my car yesterday and registering a car is expensive . The more expensive the car goes , the more expensive the registration is . And the lady behind the counter was asking me questions . She was like do you like leasing cars ? And I said , yeah , it works for me , it works for me . And she said do you like BMWs ?

And I said I love BMWs . And she's like are you prepared for me to tell you the price for the registration ? I was like I already know the price . All right , you're good . And she's like aren't you like upset ? And I said , when you buy a $65,000 car , you have to understand that everything is more expensive Circumstantially .

I came straight from the gym , I was dressed like and you don't strike people as someone who can afford a 65 000 car that's the point and I'm not trying to be a dick , but that's called judgments that people make based on your external appearance , appearance . you have tattoos , you're not dressed super nice , you got stubble , you .

All of this is important for everyone to understand . She doesn't expect someone like you to have a certain level of wealth and or success and that's because , statistically speaking and again people get so upset with me when I share things like this I'm not saying you shouldn't .

You're going to look at the cover , and I think that there's a maturity in that and I appreciate it . So continue your story .

And it was just an interesting conversation for me , because all that is is her saying , wow , if I had to pay this amount to register my car , it would not be good . It's like , yeah , no , understandable , circumstantially , I'm in a different place right now . That's all . And money matters . This is why money matters .

I will never be the guy who tells you money doesn't affect happiness . It does . Does it sustain happiness ? No , does it help fulfillment ?

Should I be able to go live in the woods and be happy't matter at all , you shouldn't need money to be happy . The truth's in the middle . Somewhere Should I be able to go live in the woods and be happy ? I don't know . Maybe Do I aspire to do that ? Absolutely not . No , no , I don't . That's not for me , that's not my gifting .

I don't want to go live in the woods . That's not what I , we don't want to admit . They matter in positive and negative , in limiting and expansive . I just think it's important . That's my new thing . The inconvenient truth that probably pretty sure that there's a fucking documentary . Damn al , why could you wait until after I ?

you , ricky Bobby .

. I just think the truth , the accuracy , is important .

So , at the end of the day , she's proof that you can take shitty circumstances and make something of them . I had every opportunity to say , well , it's not going to happen for me , or to play the . I didn't have a dad or I was blah , blah , blah .

That's why I cried during your first dance , because you are someone who I believe could have easily been nothing . For sure and you didn't . You didn't settle your potential , not as high as some people I've met . I've said this to Emilia behind the scenes . I'll share it here . I said my favorite part about Kev .

I know someone I grew up with and I'll keep this anonymous Kev , he's way fucking smarter than you . I'm not trying to be a dick . Genetically he was smarter than you , brother . He had gifts you do not have and I'm just being honest that dude , you would run fucking circles around . That's my favorite part about Kevin Palmieri . This other person is so lazy .

He was given so much and he's done so little with it . Given so much and he's done so little with it , and it pisses me off . You were given so much less than this person and you've done so much with it , and that's my favorite part about you . His potential was higher , doesn't matter .

Doesn't matter because kev is reaching for his potential way more than this person . Effort and resourcefulness and humility and work , ethic and grit , I mean it can change everything . Zebras are still zebras . Horses are still horses , dogs are still dogs .

Some people are Great Danes , some people are Chihuahuas , but at the end of the day , human beings are all different . We're all unique , but at the end of the day , human beings are all different . We're all unique and we have a certain amount of potential that we can reach . Some people have bigger cups than others , bigger shoes to fill , so to speak .

We're not all the same , but I'll tell you what you better be filling that cup every fucking day and at least maximize the one magnificent life you have .

I regret a lot of stupid shit I've done , but I'm really proud of the effort I put into reaching my potential and doing all I can with all I have , because , at the end of the day , there was a time in my life where I wasn't . It was my F off time . It was fun , but I was so regretful , I was so ashamed I wasn't doing enough good in the world .

How dare you , alan , have all these gifts and not use them ? How dare you and that's the truth , I feel that way how dare us be so gifted ? We live in the most abundant country on planet Earth .

You and I , the United States you can look this up research this For some reason and again , I love stats , so maybe I'm just weird about this I was with some people this weekend .

They didn't even know that I'm like oh my goodness , you guys didn't know that the united states economy is the largest economy , by a significant margin , on the on the planet and apparently that's not taught to a lot of people . How dare you and I live in the most abundant country on the planet and not do good in the world ? You know what I mean I do .

We have more schools in this state , the state that I live in , massachusetts , than some entire countries . More colleges , listen

. I went to one of the best tech schools on the planet . That wasn't an option for everybody . I didn't . I won the lottery with where I was born and I , if you think that way , you won't take it for granted . I'm . I can't stand entitlement like we take shit for granted so much and it's it's so entitled and it it bothers me so much . Why ?

Because , because I believe that we can be grateful for what we have and grow it . And if you're grateful and this will be the last thing I know we got to jump If you are grateful for your gifts , you will work on them . Show me with your actions this other person I'm referring to . They're not grateful for their gifts .

They were born smarter than other people . They were born so much smarter than other people , but they were lazy and and I would much prefer working with someone who is grateful for the little they were given and maximizes it than someone who was given a lot and did nothing with it .

You gotta start with gratitude for what you have , even if what you have is not what you want yet , because I think that's fairly common for most of us all . Right , cool , next level hope foundation is coming up very quickly .

The link will be in the show notes for those of you who'd like to donate to a wonderful , wonderful cause , children of single parents , like Alan and myself , were raised . We'll have the link in the show notes below .

And if you're looking for a group of amazing , like-minded humans who are into self-improvement , who want to work through their circumstances but also be admittant towards their circumstances and be accurate , that's what we're essentially trying to accomplish here . We have a private Facebook group called Next Level Nation .

We'll have the link in the show notes for that as well .

As always , we love you , we appreciate you , grateful for each and every one of you , and at NLU we don't have fans , we have family .