Bad Questions Get Worse Answers (2010)

It's interesting that you mentioned a chat GPT and that stuff , cause I was thinking to myself isn't it weird ?

One of my favorite ways to start a sentence , isn't it weird that now , one of the things that people get like credibility and credit and clout , as the kids say for , is how well you talk to a robot , the questions you ask a robot , like you know the prompts to ask in order to get certain answers . Isn't that really weird ?

You probably expected that , but it's really weird . When I I'll see people that say like yeah , I , I'm a chat gpt expert . It's like okay , you're really good at talking to a robot and you know the right questions to ask , and that's a really weird thing that I never thought was going to be valuable and super valuable now yeah , I , I think that's probably .

We went and saw her family yesterday and the first question I asked him is the question I love to ask , which is what's one thing that I would never know unless I visited . I'm always trying to ask those things because I'm looking for okay , well , I didn't go have that experience , but what can I learn from his experience ?

Because he just spent , you know however many hours in a plane , however much money on hotels , but he's been there . So what can I gain from this conversation ? That's one thing that my very first podcast YouTube channel as Kevin insists he was the first guest was Conversations Change Lives .

The reason why Conversations Change Lives if I were to elaborate on that title is because conversations don't change lives unless there's great questions

that are asked from intelligent people that have powerful answers .

For eight years you've been asking me questions more behind the scenes than in front , but both I don't want people to you and I , for eight years you've been asking me questions More behind the scenes than in front , but both I don't want people to know .

I mean , that is it right ? So you know , obviously body matters too , but the brain is the most important . There's a lot you can do to the body and still be alive and still be conscious and still be you .

There's very little you can do to the brain , where you're still you , which is why , when I got a concussion snowboarding , I never not wore a helmet again Holy crap , but anyways . So what was my point of all that ? Oh , your brain has just been picking up on things that I've been saying for the last eight years .

And the books I mean all the books that I've suggested you read . It's not for any one tactic , it's for you to understand something you never understood before , so that you can go oh , and then you can make better choices . So , ask a better question , get a better answer . Get a better answer , get a better understanding . Get a better understanding .

Now you can make better choices . Because when you're a kid and this is a good example like a , seven-year-olds don't really know anything , so they can't make good choices . So if a seven-year-old does something really dumb or dangerous , we blame the parents , and the reason why is because the parents are far more aware hopefully and it's yeah , exactly that's .

That's a fair assessment . But a lot of people aren't curious because they're not humble . I think humility is the most underrated character trait in the world . Self-belief is sexy . Humility isn't Not that sexy . Never understood , dude , I didn't get . First of all , I never thought I was humble because everyone thought I was arrogant .

But I think when it comes to curiosity and humility , I feel like I've always been very curious . I've been asking questions from smart people my whole life . I used to at college I would find the smartest people I could find and then ask them questions and get them to debate each other so that I could just learn Seriously .

Matt Armstrong . He has a YouTube channel where he fixes up cars and he started he was like working at a restaurant , he fixes up cars and he started he was like working at a restaurant . He said I'm gonna do this youtube thing and now he's just crushing it nice .

Last night I was watching a video where they they bought a rolls royce suv , so it's like a 500 or 600 000 vehicle that was in a flood . Because that's what they do they buy these things , and they're like all right , we're going to find a way to fix it .

And the reason I can't do that is because I don't know , I don't have the right series of questions and answers of okay , when I try to turn the car on , it makes this noise , or I get this code that goes to this and the fix for this is this and this is where I can find it .

So I think that's why it's really hard to ask valuable questions , because you kind of have to have the string to pull , and maybe that is just a curiosity thing .

It's up to me to take the answers and then form the questions , but that's how I've always done , the way I used to do interviews . I did not want to learn anything new about the guest . That wasn't my job . At least , that's not what I thought my job was . My job was to get the guest to say the thing that I knew would be super impactful .

That would make the biggest change for the listener . And you always were doing the curiosity thing , which , yeah , working behind say , yeah , well , I learned a lot

.

There's certain things I'll never forget and you said how do you know all this ? And it was obviously a moment when I had kind of gone beyond what you thought I knew . And I remember saying I had to know all this . That was my answer and let me unpack that . My goals required me to know all this . Like , you know how to use google sheets now pretty well .

Now you're not a 10 out of 10 , but you're probably 7 out of 10 . You don't just wake up one day and go . I think I'm gonna go learn google sheets . Human beings only learn to get their goals . For the most part , people don't learn to learn . Usually that's actually a huge problem because you don't know People don't learn to learn .

Usually that's actually a huge problem because you don't know what you don't know . So , for example , the conscious couples podcast . I've learned so much about relationships , intimate relationships , over the last four years because I had to .

I've set my life up in a way where I'm constantly learning by necessity and I think that the questions that you should be asking yourselves and these suck , like I need to make this as clear as possible and I need to stop saying like why do I say so many filler words ? Boom , boom , boom .

That's a good question , but one of the reasons why I think this podcast is so hard for me is because the questions you have to ask yourself to actually improve are not good . They suck . So let me give you some of the ones that I ask myself all the time . Where am I inadequate right now ? Where am I being arrogant ? Where might I be fucking up ?

Where might we be losing momentum ? What's the best use of my time right now ? What's my biggest bottleneck right now ? What's my biggest limiting belief right now ? None of these are good . These all make you feel terrible . You need to be very careful about only asking questions that make you feel good about yourself .

You also have to be careful about only asking questions that make you feel bad about yourself , because I was telling Kev earlier I said , I woke up today , monday , and I'm not feeling super great about myself , but the reason why is because our goals are so big that we're kind of we're winning compared to every you know most statistical norms , but we're always

losing up against our own potential up or up against our own goals . Like , if you're shooting to build a half million dollar per year business , you're going to feel like a loser at four 50 . It doesn't mean you're a loser , it just means you feel like you're losing at your own game .

And so you and I have talked a lot about how to , and so one of the reasons why this podcast is so hard for people .

So anyone out there watching or listening , I kudos to you , because this podcast doesn't really make you feel very good about yourself . It's , it's not designed for that . We're not here to feel good about ourselves . We're not here to feel bad about ourselves .

We're here to improve ourselves , and in order to improve yourself , you basically have to ask questions that help you see your weaknesses and inadequacies , so that you can go either be aware of them or work on them , or both , and so the questions that I think are the most powerful are things like what's a limiting belief that I have that has disguised itself as

empowering . So I'll give you an answer . The answer is me being optimistic is actually a bottleneck , because I'm naive , and when you hear me say that , a lot of people don't say that they're like oh no , I'm very confident and I'm accurate and all this stuff . They act like they've arrived . I don't like doing that to me . I am naive , extremely naive .

I'm not more naive than anyone else , but I'm way more naive than I have to be to succeed . And so the higher you , the higher you aim in life toward your own unique version of success . Like , if you're climbing Mount Everest and you're even a little bit naive , you're going to die .

If you're climbing Mount Wachusett , you can be naive like I was and just climb it and run out of water and you're still fine .

Two , you haven't asked the right questions to uncover what you don't know . And again , obviously , you have to go to work and do it . It's not that simple , but I don't know . I don't know . Let's talk about what questions you're ready to ask and get answers to . Maybe Do you feel like you're ready to ? On a scale of 0 to 10 , how consistent are you ?

I don't know . Probably like a five , Okay , Okay , Cool . What would a six look like ? Well , I'd be doing this and this . Okay , To the best of your knowledge , to the best of your ability , to the best of your awareness , why aren't you doing it ? Nice that , right there it might be . You know , I don't know .

Sometimes I just feel like I'm lazy , Okay , well , what does lazy mean to you ? There , you're off to the races Now . Maybe you never get to the place where you say if you walked out in front of your house tomorrow and got hit by a massive bus and died . Would you regret being lazy Shithead ?

of course , of course , next Level Nation . We are very , very excited to announce that we are doing our first purely virtual Next Level Live . On April 5th 2025 , from 10 am to 4 pm Eastern Standard Time , alan and myself will be live streaming from Worcester , massachusetts .

Okay , how do you know the right question to ask , dude ? Where do you even start on that one ? That's a question . Okay , what's the answer ? Well , there's an optimal question to ask for the right context of a person , and this is why I always go back to goals .

I can't not talk about goals in the context of this conversation , because if you don't have any goals , there is no right or wrong question . If you're a horseback rider , you have to ask very different questions than if you're a podcaster .

Yeah , then if you're a basketball player , then if you're a podcaster than if you're a basketball player , than if you're a computer engineer .

And at least at least and yes , I'm going to contradict myself in this very episode At least if you ask a dumb question , hopefully the answer you get is somewhat constructive and not somebody saying what I said at the top , like ask better questions

.

The reason words are so hard for me is because you can frame them in the positive or the negative . So if I ask a question to Kevin what's the biggest bottleneck in your life right now ? Okay , that's a question . He gives me an answer which leads to another question . He gives me an answer which leads to another question .

What's going to happen in that process is we're going to identify the bottleneck and then we're going to identify the bottleneck and then we're going to ask questions to brainstorm a solution . The the reason I love human beings and the human brain and neuroscience and all this stuff is because our brain is capable of solutions .

This is going to be a silly reference , but I'll go quick with it . Jungle book the there's two actually . One's called mogli , one's called Jungle Book , the real live action series . One the animals are like blown away by Mowgli's ability to tie a rope and climb the tree and get the honey .

Baloo is like a big bear who loves honey , and he basically hoodwinks Mowgli to get all the honey from the bees . But animals can't do contemplative thinking and long-term strategic thinking , so he creates tools that the animals cannot create , and that's what makes us uniquely human . We can build buildings , we can build phones , we can build fucking stream yard .

We can build the camera . I think about this all the time . I watched a video recently I don't know if I sent it to you the first invention of toilet paper no did I not ? yeah , so uh , toilet paper was invented in the early 1800s and apparently I don't know what they did before . But invention all comes through brainstorming .

The unsung heroes of NLU , of every company , is brainstorming . So the iPhone was always possible , we just didn't know how to do it . The camera was always possible , we just didn't know how to do it . The camera was always possible , we just didn't know how to do it . The stream yard was always possible , we just didn't know how to do it .

Or there wasn't a big enough need , perceived need . So all of a sudden , when covid happened , there was a big perceived need for these weights that I wanted that were interchangeable . They were going for like 800 bucks when they were yeah , and the reason why is because the need increased . So there's always solutions , but life is nothing more or less .

Unfortunately , this is going to be depressing , but it really is identifying problems , identifying the root cause of those problems and then identifying solutions . And then , once you have a solution and you know this more than anyone , kevin business there's another bunch of problems that come up . Just got it recently .

That's when you get a new layer of questions . I think the more you level up your self-awareness , you know what questions to ask about yourself , or ask to yourself , or ask for yourself , whatever . And then , whatever your thing is , if your thing is construction , you know better questions to ask .

If you're a contractor and you're going to go buy a house , you have better questions than I do If you're , if you're a doctor or a nurse or somebody who works in the medical field , you have better questions to ask when you drop your kids off at daycare about their safety protocols than I would ever have , when you drop your kids off at daycare about their

safety protocols than I would ever have . You have better questions because you already have more answers than I do , and there's just something to that , so I just want to touch on it real quick , because I did contradict myself .

I would much rather somebody ask a stupid question than no question . Myself included , I've asked a lot of dumb questions . Hopefully the person that gives you the answer is also trying to give you an answer and not just an ego-type deal , because that's kind of what the opening was . It was like in my mind .

There was a piece of me that thought ask a better question Because the people in the group are not going to know how to answer you . I think a piece of that for me is because this is a podcaster who's going to be screwed if they don't get the answers to the right questions . So if any ego came out , I think that's why . But I'd rather ask you .

I'd rather you ask a bad question , a misaligned question , a question that produces very little answer , than no question at all , because you don't get any input that way , and input is good , even if it's not ideal .

So yesterday , at the dinner table with Emilia's family , I said well , I'm going to brag about her because I know she won't , and they learned a lot about her that they wouldn't have known .

So one thing that I want to share about you that I know you wouldn't necessarily share , because you don't want to come off like an arrogant , pretentious prick , it's fair , but you have been brainstorming regularly for eight years . I mean you brainstorm all the time . And that's a good question for everybody out there how often and how much do you brainstorm ?

And with the right people , because brainstorming is the unsung hero of all progress , but it's not fun , I mean . I like it . Obviously you do too . I do now . I didn't always , but a lot of times it's uncomfortable . That's mean I like it . Obviously you do too . I do now . I didn't always , but a lot of times it's uncomfortable . That's what book club is .

I mean , it's just constantly brainstorming . Let's read this book , do we agree ? Let's share our past , present , future . What's going on ? I don't know if it's fun or not , I don't really care . I think what matters is that when you become more aware , there's three things there's resources , there's skills and there's awareness .

And brainstorming can bring ways to get more resources , more skills and more awareness . And it's this compound effect . Every episode is Kevin and I brainstorming so that everyone can leave with something . You will leave this episode smarter , you just will . That's what this podcast , that's what the point of this podcast is .

And so you've been brainstorming from the moment I met you , well , from the moment we reconnected . We knew each other in middle school and high school . But from the moment you and I reconnected eight years ago , I mean we've been brainstorming , I mean five times a week , minimum , for eight years , and the version of Kevin and Alan eight years ago .

I mean if we got to talk to them we would be alarmed at how dumb they are .

That's not my point . We were much less aware . We were exponentially less aware than we are now about people , about the world , about life , about everything .

It's like this could be something . Let me give this a shot here .

Do you know how much time I spend alone ? Just like what the fuck is next ? Like what am I missing ? All the time , brother ? I mean , I'm always how do I ?

You go to a restaurant , hey , just FYI , we're closed tomorrow . Why are you closed tomorrow , saturday , biggest day of the week for you , probably . Well , and then they go into a story . Well , when I was growing up , my family , we always spent Saturdays together . That's super important for me , okay , why Do you care more about family than you do business ?

Yeah , I care more about family . Okay , how , how is that possible ? Aren't you super afraid you can't pay your bills ? No , I feel like the family thing just always kind of worked . People know we're a family establishment . More people come in on Friday nights because they know we're closed Saturday . And then you just boom , you're down the rabbit hole .

How does that affect who you hire ? Does that affect who you fire ? Does that affect how much you pay people ? Is that why you guys have such good reviews , because you're so focused on family and building . Really boom , boom , boom , boom . But that all started with . Why aren't you guys open on saturday ? I need a pizza pie on saturday .

You guys aren't here to do it . Wtf , mate . What's this about ? Boom , boom , all right , cool . Next of a nation . Or as yeah , it's on April 5th 2025 , next level , live 2025 . Again , everybody says this . Few people mean it . Tickets are going faster than expected . Hashtag grateful for all of you who are purchasing your tickets in advance .

Please make sure you do not wait , because if you wait to the last minute , tickets will be sold out . Once we sell 50 , we're not selling anymore , and then you're gonna have to wait till next year and then tickets are gonna be $500,000 per .

So you know , whatever , if that's the way you wanna do it , you can do it , but we want everybody to be in the room with us virtually , and if you wanna be there , this is the year .

You can pop in and out as needed and you will get access to the entire replay , so if you miss anything you will be able to go back boom and tickets are only 47 bucks .

netflix is going to be47 a month in no time , so you get a full day's event , especially with all the movies they're producing , right for what Netflix is going to be in a couple months .

as always . We love you , we appreciate you , grateful for each and every one of you and NLU . We don't have fans , we have family .