#1584 - Nobody Knows What The Hell They're Doing

I Saw an interview one of Tara and I's favorite shows was shits Creek . Funny , funny , funny , funny show , really funny . You know that the dad we were talking about American pie the other day . You know the dad , american pie , mm-hmm , his .

I think it won a bunch of awards and Dan levy was interviewed and they were talking about how you've won so many Awards and what's that like , and he said look , nobody really knows what the hell they're doing .

He said we showed up every day and we did the best we could and we had some ideas and we followed through with them , but nobody really knew if it was gonna work or not . I don't know if anybody ever really does . I Was having a conversation Well , not really a conversation .

Somebody messaged me today and it's someone on the team and they said you know , people have been telling me for a long time I should have a podcast , because what I talk about I'm super passionate about talking about , but I just I don't know . I don't know where to start and I feel like I don't .

I don't know what to do and we're gonna hop on a call and I'm gonna take care of this person , and I sent them a message and I said this whole thing is a balancing act of knowing the most you ever have , while also knowing the least you ever will again .

So when I say nobody knows what the hell they're doing , think of this right now you know the most you ever have , most likely unless you forgot a lot of stuff . But let's just say that's not the case .

You know the most you ever have most likely , can most like yeah , but at the at the same time , you also know the least you ever will again , because you're gonna learn something tomorrow that's gonna boost you up over the top .

I and this is the other thing , alan and I don't mean this in a negative way , but I've had the opportunity to talk to so many people behind the scenes

that are either business owners , podcasters , coaches , people who look like they're doing really well on social media , mm-hmm and again , this is not a judgment . This has just been very , very empowering . When I talk to them , most of them don't know what the heck they're doing at all .

They have no clue what they're doing , but they do know what they're doing in their business or in their niche or in there , whatever it is , more than I do , because that's their thing , you know , but it's , but they're gonna know more about that forever . So it really is this , this juggling act of you .

Right now , you know the most you ever have , but you also know the least you ever will . Right now , you're the smartest you've ever been , but you also have the most opportunity for growth . It's this weird , weird , weird thing , and I wanted to do a hyper conscious episode on it . Do I know what's gonna happen ? Definitely not .

Is it gonna be a seven-minute episode ? Very well could be , but let's see where it takes us .

And and I do this all the time , I always will for the rest of my life I'm gonna do this . Think of something really dumb you did in high school .

It was literally going down the street with nobody in it . It was , I Was 17 years old and I had no idea what I was doing . I was very reckless . I was a very reckless individual .

what you're doing in a couple areas really well Compared to others , and I think that that's really what I want to do . I talked about this in the last episode . Apples to apples so important for self-worth . Okay , maybe this is you , maybe it's not , but I think our listeners , statistically speaking , do tend to struggle with self-worth . I Myself as well .

Apples to apples is one of the reasons . The comparisons aren't fair . The comparisons aren't fair . So you do know a lot in Certain areas compared to others . But here's the problem . If you think everyone else has it figured out and you're the only one who doesn't , and you don't happen to Coach hundreds of individuals all over the world like Kevin and I ,

then you won't really understand that pretty much everyone is just doing their best and Some of them are bettering their best , but for the most part , they're just as scared , just as anxious , just as Disconnected , just as confused , just as lost as you . Now .

I Often say things like like I was emotionally immature growing up and I'll say that statement and it's true , compared to me now . I Don't think I was more emotionally immature than other American males that are 16 . I'm certain I wasn't more emotionally immature than kev after that story Although I might have been honestly I don't know .

But the point is is that it's just very , very important to understand this duality . You will never , ever , ever have it all figured out no one does but Despite that inevitable truth , that will always be true you can get better and you can get smarter , and you are better and smarter , most likely , than you used to be .

The question is not Going to be whether you know it all because you never will , or whether you know nothing because you never will . You do know a lot . The question is how much are you learning ? It's almost like we're we're measuring the wrong stuff . I was emotionally immature . I was .

Kevin very clearly was Okay , but what matters is to become more emotionally mature over time , and at what rate , and I think that if we can just focus on that , everyone's doing their best . Quote unquote Giving all they have with all they've got every day .

The thing that I find hard for myself , looking at my own past I'll call myself out here I wasn't bettering my best . There was a time in my life where I wasn't getting better . It was a short time , but I was miserable .

I was unfulfilled and , ironically , I was pretending to be the most happy , most fulfilled , most confident version of myself and if you saw me from the outside in you would have thought I was so confident and you probably would have thought I had it all figured out . But I didn't . I was deeply unfulfilled and deeply insecure .

I was letting myself down in every area that matters to me and I was compensating with ego . It was a short time , but it was a dark time and , quite frankly , a lot of people are there . And so no more comparing to social media , no more comparing to the outside in , no more comparing .

What you really want to do is sit down and say , okay , where have I been comparing unfairly ? Where have I was on the phone recently with a client who struggles with self worth and the physique that she wants to achieve ? That other person is on drugs . They're on steroids , I'm certain of it . I'm certain of it .

I said stop comparing your natural physique to someone else on steroids . That's just a bad idea . The problem is most people aren't honest when they're using steroids . Most people aren't honest when they're using drugs , most people aren't honest . When they're inheriting the money , most people are not honest , unfortunately .

Maybe it's a privacy thing , maybe it's not of anyone else's business . I get it Okay , I understand , but stop comparing your reality to someone else's perception and , most importantly , try your best to live from the inside out instead of the outside in . When I was the most miserable , I was living from the outside in instead of the inside out .

us feedback . And usually I would get good feedback because the team was very kind to me and you were super improvement oriented , so they'd usually give you some constructive feedback . You could do this . You could do this .

That's very kind and I'll take that and use it constructively . But I don't really care what you think . I care more about what I feel you can think I did a 10 out of 10 . In my mind I wasn't a 10 out of 10 . In my mind it wasn't as good as it could have been , or I used more filler words than I could have .

I'm comparing my capabilities to what I think I should be capable of , now more than ever , and that was not always the case In the beginning . When we started this podcast , it was I'm comparing to everybody else who's podcasters ? Usually the people who are way ahead , and it hurts , it's not fun . But there's two .

I mean you can't just compare to people who are behind you . You can't just compare to people who are ahead of you . You have to compare to where people are in comparison to you . Where were they when they started ? And even that Talon's point . You don't really know where they actually were behind the scenes .

But just as a tangent , I find that I find it harder for me to compare myself to what I think I should know versus what I actually know , Because the truth of the matter is I don't know what anybody else knows and I don't really know how quote unquote successful other people are .

I don't know what their relationships are really like , I don't know what their bodies are really like , but I do know what mine is and I do know what my relationship is and what our business is and listens and all that . So maybe a tangent for the audience .

If you're in a bathing suit with a bunch of other people , you're gonna look around and you're gonna say am I or am I not in shape ? In comparison , you are your own worst critic . Everyone is . You're thinking about you more than other people are thinking about you . It's just human nature .

If you have a pimple on your face , no one else notices , but you care deeply . That's just kind of the way human nature works . So you just gotta kind of fight back against that and I guess what I would say is learning , growing , improving .

Kevin and I joke behind the scenes because sometimes we'll talk about challenges we're having in our relationship and not bad ones , not he and I's relationship , but our intimate relationship . So like we'll joke about Humble Pie that I got or him you know just egghead moves that sometimes dudes

make and I'll say and what's the solution ? And he'll be like same every time get better . I mean , what's the alternative ? Emilia and Taryn's feedback . His wife's name's Taryn Emilia is my girlfriend , future wife . Whenever I say future wife , people are like are you engaged ? It's like no , no , I'm very future oriented .

Yeah , and I think unfortunately some guys do that and they end up divorced and or miserable . But at the end of the day we're being playful here and the answer is always just get better If that's what your goals require . Right , if we wanna have the best marriage , best relationship we can , we have to go get better and we have to take that feedback .

And then there's certain things that maybe you don't wanna get better . I remember one time I jokingly with Emilia , we were like what do we have to give up ? And we gave up together in the beginning of our relationship . Or like two months in , and I'm like let's give up fast food , dude , two months in , I'm at Doug's right

and we're on the phone and she's like is Doug in Doug's fast food ? And I'm like , nope , not to me . No , I basically eventually said sweetheart . I don't wanna do this ? I don't wanna . It's convenient , I need my calories . It's right next to the gym . Like I'm doing it . I'm not getting done .

So like nope , call me Like I'm done with this whole quitting fast food thing . But anyways , my point is this you're never gonna know it all . You're never gonna know nothing . Life is a dance between those two extremes . And are you getting better and doing all you can with all you have ? As esoteric and fortune cookie as that sounds , that is the game .

That is it . Self-awareness , others' awareness , world awareness . How much do you know about yourself ? How much do you know about how the human condition works ? How much do you know about the world , how it works and why it works that way ? And are you capable of getting better towards your goals and dreams ?

And that's what this podcast is about , that's what every conversation we have is about . And so you don't know as much as you're gonna know in a year , but you know way more than you used to , and that's always gonna be the case , 10 years from now , 15 years from now , 25 years from now . It's gonna be the case forever .

And I coach everyone , from an 18-year-old to a 63-year-old , that I'm telling you they don't have it all figured out , but they have some things figured out , you know , and that's just the way it works .

Again , there's a lot of layers self-worth and self-belief and you don't wanna beat yourself up for your entire life . So it doesn't have to be that way . We don't have to choose that .

But some days I feel like I have a lot of things figured out and then , when we'll get to the end of the year and I'll look back and say , wow , I had no idea what I was doing at the beginning . Not a freaking clue . Did I compare to other people ? Sure , maybe , but that doesn't really matter . I can't compare to that .

I have to compare to what I knew . I know so much more today than I did 365 days ago . Awesome , that's great . 365 days from today , I'm probably gonna say the same thing and that's good , that's a successful year . When that stops , that probably means I'm not growing anymore , and I think that's a very dangerous place to live .

So if you get to the end of the year and you say , wow , I'm a different version than the person I was at the beginning of the year , I think that's awesome , because that means at the beginning of the year you didn't know what the hell you were doing it . Also , 365 days from today , you can say the same stuff .

It doesn't mean you didn't know what you were doing really , but it just means that there's always gonna be so much room for growth . And then , just a second , when Alan said I've never met someone who doesn't have a massive level of uncertainty in something , ever , ever , ever , ever , ever . Most people have massive levels of uncertainty in many things .

So I know people . They might make it look easy , they might make it look like they're not nervous , they might make it look like things just work out , and they always do . I'm telling you that it's not the case internally and it just it usually doesn't go that way .

So don't beat yourself up based on the results that you don't have compared to the results that other people pretend to have , Because that's gonna be a losing game for life . And I'll say this the results you don't have yet , just because you don't have them yet doesn't mean you can't get them .

maybe just with different things or in different amounts , but that's struggle is a forever and I think that despite that , we can create magnificent lives . Very last thing this is an analogy . I try it all the time I don't know if it'll ever land . I'm a computer engineer so I tend to like these analogies .

My iOS I just opened my settings automatic update software update . It says this update provides important bug fixes and is recommended for all users . For more information blah , blah , blah . Ios 17.2.1 . If you were graduating high school in 2007 , you would know that that was the first year the iPhone came out .

When we graduated high school and many of my friends got the iPhone when we were seniors in high school , and the very first iPhone , in comparison to this iPhone , would be an absolute piece of junk and garbage . But back then it was a revolutionary , world-changing breakthrough .

And so the point is is that this iPhone is not as good as it's gonna be , but it's way better than it used to be , same with every one of us and the software updates . Each one of our episodes at NLU is supposed to be a little software update .

Little new awareness , little new capability , little new skill , little new way to think , little new perspective , little new whatever . So I'm gonna update this . It actually says update now . So I'm gonna update this . Hit update now , put in my little password and then my iPhone will get better .

And hopefully that's what we're doing with all listeners every single day a little bit better , a little bit better , a little bit better .

I am a podcast coach who has coached hundreds and hundreds of people , and our podcast production company has produced thousands like probably 4,000 , 5,000 episodes at this point and we're still out here , jeff , in our own podcast .

If you are looking for a group of like-minded humans , please join our private Facebook group , Next Level Nation . I know a lot of people are in a lot of Facebook groups , but hopefully this can be the most positive one . This can be the one where you find your peak performance partner .

It can be the one where you can be the most authentic version of yourself . If that is what you got out of joining our Facebook group , that would be a giant win for us , because that's what we're aspiring to . So Link will be in the show notes , as always .

We have a lot of other stuff . I hope you check out the website and if you have any questions , email me or Kevin Allen at nextleveluniversecom . Kevin at nextleveluniversecom the person who has nextleveluniversitycom is asking for way too much money , so we decided to make it a universe instead of just a university .

As always , we love you , we appreciate you , grateful for each and every one of you , and at NLU we do not have fans , we have family . We will talk to you all tomorrow .