Werewolf, The Last Warrior. Slammin' video game action just bustin' out. And welcome to Nostalgia, a chronological exploration of every NES game released in North America. I'm Mike. I'm Sean. And I'm Joe. And I have now said that 400 times busting out yeah yeah yeah the busting makes me feel good no i don't know what the back of the box was about that but uh no i said my opening spiel 400 times uh i make a note that it is not pre-recorded
The guys have to hear me say it every single time. And I don't know. Maybe somebody will put a compilation of the most interesting reads. But I'm not like The Simpsons where it's like a couch game that changes. No, I'm not going to do that. I promise. I'll let the fans do something for once. He's deleting it right now really fast. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. That wasn't planned. He just crossed up the idea on his notes. It's like, no, no. I'm too busy. I got to talk about a werewolf game.
Oh, it's an interesting game to have for your 400th episode. But we did have like Major League Baseball as our 100th episode. So these things can't be giant celebrations. I just want to say it's great to be with you guys for 400 straight weeks. And it's also nice to be with Joe and Sean, too. Get it? I was talking to the fans. It's unbelievable, though. 400 weeks. That's pretty mundane.
When you pitched this to us, I was like, yeah, we're not going to finish one episode of this. Joe, I actually remember you telling me early on the year it was going to end. Yeah, 2032. Yeah, 2032. So we're closer to it ending than it beginning. That's crazy. And that will always be true, even if we decide to cut this short, because Mike has better things to do. Yeah, if we just go on hiatus, we did enough. Yeah.
true what if we just copy the first 400 episodes and put them over the next you know for the next ones and it'll just be like oh yeah no that maybe people forgot about all those episodes anyway so like by the time
They get to 401. They're like, yeah, nobody remembers 10-yard fights, so they'll just make us the next episode. Right. I thought about that, but the problem is that that would get us to episode 800, and there are not 800 NES games. We stop whenever we need to stop. Do I keep titling them?
under the new titles? Nope. In fact, I think we just tell the listeners to just go back and listen to these 400 again. We don't do anything. I'm just glad that we've decided to do this because of a particular...
werewolf with liquid metal arms um that can shoot guns this werewolf is i i gotta say it i whatever we say about this game this game does go hard okay like this no because like we never talk about it we always forget or we put it as an afterthought but even the music in this game goes hard like This is an awesome idea. And it's worth saying that like Werewolf, the last warrior as like a subtitle is an amazing title in itself. But in Japan, this game was called Warwolf. Like that's even better.
That is way better. Everything about just the vibe of this game is just crank some 14-year-old's composition notebook doodles. Up to 11, and I feel like you've got Werewolf. Sorry, Warwolf, the last warrior. Yeah, Warwolf. I wish this game was called Warwolf. Instead, the weakest version of this guy is called Warwolf.
Yeah. John F. Warwolf. Warwolf was his last name and he just happened to be a werewolf. What are the odds? Crazy. The reason I read that back of the box slamming video game action just busting out. is because I didn't know what it meant until I looked at the box art for the game. Do you guys know what happens on the box art? Wait a minute, that's the reason you read the back of the box?
No, no, no, no, no. The reason why I... Oh, I guess that's not the reason. I guess what I meant is why I included that part of the back of the box and not a different line. Oh, because he scratches his way out of the box as if he were... a real werewolf. Not even that. He scratched his way out of the cartridge. You can see the computer. You can see the microprocessors and chips and stuff. Microprocessors? You can actually see a little bit of an NES cartridge remnant. That's pretty cool, but...
I don't know if it's, you know, like more action than a cartridge can hold is a great line. I just don't know if specifically. It's not very well. It's not very well themed. Yeah. Right. To a werewolf. Right. Like. Couldn't it have been like, you know, the full moon or something? Well, the full moon is not involved in this game.
The pitch meeting wasn't like, how do we sell this werewolf games? Like, how do we sell a video game? What should we do to like make these people want to buy this video game? I mean, I can see the like two degrees of separation that like maybe connect it where it's like.
the werewolf within you is ready to burst out at any second, and, like, it bursts out, you're a monster now, and then, like, now the werewolf's bursting out of the cartridge. That's more than two steps, but... I don't know how many steps is that. Count the steps. I'm okay. I like that, Joe. That is a good pitch. Another good pitch is just, well, we're all out of heroes, so the werewolf will handle it, right? That is a very strange introduction to the game of...
You know, no more heroes, fuzzball. It's werewolf. It's like, what? Did all the other heroes... in this game universe died to the villain and now the werewolf guy is the only one left? They're not explaining that. This is almost why I was kind of saying this is straight out of some kid's composition notebook doodle.
section is like there's so much implied like history going on here like with the just like the the big bad like it seems like he's just sort of walked in from having 300 comics of lore behind him but This is like the first anyone's ever seen of this stuff. And it's almost like the tone is coming from that kid's notebook. I completely see that. And also I'd like to add that I think that kid.
is not super familiar with like how werewolves work in a lot of ways. Yeah, for sure. Like there's no full moon and like only as a werewolf can you wield a gun. Yeah. Like the werewolf shoots like one silver bullet. but like the silver bullets supposed to be what kills you. And then your weakness is water, which is not a werewolf thing that I'm familiar with. This kid confused.
werewolves with the Hulk, right? Because you have an anger meter and you just keep getting angrier if you collect that stuff to become the super werewolf, which is not a thing. There's no such thing as super werewolves. Is the Hulk allergic to water too?
No, I don't think that there's any history of that. Probably some run of a comic in some continuity alternate reality. I'm sure it's actually the reverse, Joe. It's that like, you know, yeah, the Hulk could breathe forever underwater. It's like, you know, like they just do whatever to explain how amazing he is. That villain you're talking about, his name is Farian. And in the manual, it states that in order to get to Farian, you've got to battle past his army of death slaves. Yeah, that's a...
I don't know what that is. It's quite the descriptor, but it's powerful. It's powerful. Yeah, Death Slaves is powerful, but like, so are they fighting against their will? Are they slaves of the Grim Reaper? And are we encountering all enemies in the game as death slaves? There's like a jungle level. Are all the things in the jungle part of the death slaves? If you read Science Notes 1984, then you would know.
uh how the death slaves came to be um that's a that's a bad joke sorry um we'll leave it in yeah we'll leave it in we'll do it live uh here's an interesting like I feel like we don't even need to break down this game. We can just keep giving takes throughout the episode, and that'll probably cover the entirety of the game. When you start the game, you're thrown into a boss fight right at the beginning. Has that ever happened so far in our run?
As far as I know, I don't think so. Yeah, I'm trying to think. What was that game? I want to say maybe it was like an X-Men game where you're kind of like fighting a boss in a whole level. Oh, interesting. You know what I'm talking about? I don't think so. You're like fighting a boss, but it's like not on just like one screen. You have like a whole stage. Let me look back. Didn't we just play an X-Men game? I think you're thinking of...
You're thinking of Sonic the Hedgehog. We did that. That's what it is. No, no, no. You're thinking of the Punisher? We did the Punisher and we did Silver Surfer. We played an X-Men game, did we not? A long time ago and it was absolutely terrible. How long ago? Like really years ago. There's a game that we definitely played. I'm going to look back and see if I can find it. Okay.
While you do that, no, no, while you do that, what's interesting is that first fight, you are just Warwolf, which is confusing. We probably shouldn't say that because we should just say you're a regular person because Warwolf sounds awesome, right? Human man. You're just a human man who fights with his fists. So really, you might as well just be a caveman.
And you're fighting just a larger man. You know, it's like there's nothing special about this guy either. And there's no explanation for who or why he is here. But when you defeat him. Then you become a werewolf with an awesome cut scene. And like Sean mentioned, you find out that you have liquid metal razor blades for hands. Yeah, hooks for hands. All fine. In the middle of the screen. of this boss fight there is just a a sign like a like a wood post sign that says don't knock
Yeah, I was wondering what this is because it's in the level proper as well, like over and over. And I have to imagine that this is, I have no proof of this, but I have to imagine that this is just some mistranslation of like, do not enter. Well, I do know what it does. Okay. I didn't want to spoil it right away, but the interesting thing is that the don't knock on this particular boss fight...
means nothing. If you do what's intended to do on the other, don't knock things here. Nothing happens. So it's just weird. I couldn't figure it out. Do you not knock because you'll invite a werewolf in your house? I just don't understand why it's that text. But if you literally punch the don't knock signs, I guess knocking on the sign.
it will occasionally reward you with a power-up like an anger meter orb or um yeah but that's like only like that's a thing in all of the levels like the rest of them just don't say don't knock no i know but i'm saying like i thought maybe that was just like a joke like Don't knock on this, but when you punch it, aka knocking on it, that like it actually does reward you. So you don't have to like, you don't have to listen to authority, man. I'm going to grant you.
Wow. Oh, right. The whole game is boss fights. That's what I was thinking of. I see. Not bad, Joe. Good pull. Thank you. I'm going to grant you that that is one interpretation, but I'm going to go with mine. Okay. I like yours as well that it's just a mistranslation. There's also an arrow pointing to the left, the direction you're not supposed to walk in. So maybe it's just trying to do not enter.
Or, like, you know, trying to, like, persuade you not to play the game or something. Yeah. That villains wrote it. Or just, like, rad. Well, yeah. Warwolf's pretty rad. Yeah. But as far as this...
Opening boss fight. I think I get what they were going for because they want you to fight a boss as as Warwolf, but the regular guy. Human man. Human man on his way to his... his dead-end office job, werewolf, they want you to fight a boss and, like, see, well, look how many hits it takes to fight him, and then they make you the werewolf, and it's like, look, it takes two less hits to kill him.
But I think the idea was supposed to be like, wow, you feel so powerful now that you're the werewolf. There is a pretty good contrast there. Because if I did have to play the whole game... uh as the man and not just every time i took too much damage uh it would be much worse i agree i agree i just feel like that that uh
trope or that uh like device that they use to try and make you like appreciate the werewolf felt a little rushed and a little unearned like you know like really it's like oh yeah here's this quick fight you do it real quick it's like now you're a werewolf it's like oh see how different it is i don't know i would like to
have to earn being a werewolf a little more. You know, it's kind of like getting the running shoes or getting the bike in Pokemon. It's like, well, they made me walk slow for like a whole level before I could actually be like, oh great, this is so much better now. I can see where you're coming from. The game is so like, it's not short for me because I die a lot, but there isn't, there isn't like that much game. So I wonder how much it would take.
I think, like, honestly, literally just not it being the very first thing that happened. It's like you forget about that. It's like, oh, yeah, I fought that guy earlier, but, like, that was, like, one minute of the game that I've been playing for, like, 40 minutes now. Yeah, you also kind of, like, if you're me, at least, take...
The idea of ever going back into the human form for granted, like you kind of assume like, oh, I am the werewolf now and I'm just going to be this badass character. Like you can revert back to the human if you take, I think it's like a quarter, if you're down to like a quarter of your health. You revert back to the human form. And then you lose like a lot of stuff. Like we were joking that like he just does two times the damage. So just two bars instead of one. But I mean.
You can't climb on the walls. You can't crawl on stuff. You can't do somersaults. Yeah, you can't do those invincibility backflips that are so awesome. That stuff all goes away. So that's like, it's kind of interesting that I kind of felt like it was like, oh, you're a human for this one moment. And then you become the werewolf.
But it's actually like, no, it's this thing where you kind of balance between human werewolf and super werewolf, depending on how well you're playing. And that's cool, too. I think the pacing would have been a little weird, Joe, if you were the human for too long. This game clearly wasn't designed to have you be just war wolf for the entire game. You probably can. Human man.
And you probably could, there probably are human man speed runs, but we're going to, for my sake and purposes, like the werewolf is like the form you want to be in and how you want to like make progress in this game. Yeah. I guess it just felt more like. becoming a man again felt more like a punishment rather than becoming a werewolf feeling like a reward. I kind of agree, but I don't want to give this game too much credit because I'm gonna...
I'm going to give this game a lot of not credit soon, but I think that's what it should have been. The game isn't called Man Who Sometimes Becomes Werewolf. But all werewolves are men who sometimes become werewolves. Well, not in this kid's head, probably. But yeah, you're right. So after that don't knock screens where you're allegedly supposed to knock to get some power-ups, you will go to this underground area.
and immediately hit probably the first wall of the game? Am I correct in thinking that those, like, death spikes that you can't jump over the platform? No, not the lightning. That comes next. That's the second roadblock. The one where you have to figure out that you can climb on the ceiling. The game never taught you about it. It is in the manual, but the game never taught you about it.
And then you're like, oh, that's all I had to do was just jump up onto the ceiling. And then nothing happens. It doesn't connect. You don't start climbing on the wall. You just are jumping. And all the while, bats are spawning from one side of the screen to the other. and they hit you, and so you have to balance attacking them, making sure that they're cleared, and then trying to cling to this wall. Is the timing just really awkward? Yes. Am I really bad at this? No. Okay.
Okay, this is where my tone's going to shift because we were all talking about just the aesthetic and the badassery of this game, but when you actually sit down and play it... It's it's like you dipped your NES controller in some kind of like something that's at once slippery and also really sticky like some kind of goop that does that to you Because yeah, if you try and jump and grab the ceiling
or the pipe or whatever's up there, it will work one out of 10 times. And then you might accidentally jump off because you've kind of been, you've just been spamming this for so long that you may not even be. be paying attention to the, uh, the feedback of the game actually like, like hooking on to the thing. So you got to do it again. And then the, the bats keep coming. And so, yeah, that it's, you have to be so precise.
to be able to actually pull this off. Yeah, and I don't know. I'm trying to remember, because I read the manual for this. I'm trying to remember how well it describes that in the manual, because another thing it doesn't describe...
properly that i remember was that holding up while you jump makes you jump higher which is also a wall for me like how to grab onto things and how to jump high enough you know not not the hardest thing to figure out on your own but like if you don't even know you can do it
There needs to be something there to give you an idea. Well, you will eventually get stuck on something you didn't mean to get stuck on, and that will teach you that you can climb walls because you didn't mean to jump onto the one... uh werewolf height wall you meant to jump over it but you walk too close to it so now you're stuck and now you have to remember that you have to jump backwards and not just sort of like step away from it in order to unstick yourself so again slippery sticky goop
Joe, in the manual, there's a whole section on ceiling walking, and it explains that you're not Spider-Man, like you don't have sticky palms or whatever that allow you to cling to these things. It's... your blades that you're kind of hooking onto those pipes or whatever so that you can cross. But it says to grab onto the ceiling, jump with the B button.
Which didn't bother me. I saw some comments online that it's like flipped between the B for jump instead of A. And I don't know. Didn't bother me at all. I figured it out which one does what. And then your brain just like, I don't know about you guys, but like. As long as I'm playing the game, I map my brain to that game's controls. And if I step away and start playing another game and come back like a week later, I have to like relearn the entire control scheme again. Yeah. Does that happen?
To an extent, I was still getting, because I'm so used to the opposite, I was still realizing, like, hey, I'm not doing what I want to do. Like, every screen, I would accidentally jump. when I meant to hit something. Yeah, but even in a modern game, if you walk away from... What's a game you played recently?
I don't play video games, Mike. Okay, great. Sorry, because I was going to do something a little more complex like Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, right? Like a game that has a very in-depth action combat in real time, so you have to know what you're doing. I played 200 hours of that game. If I jumped in right now, after a year off, I don't think I am going to know how to, like, I'm going to know what I want to do.
But controller wise, I'm not going to have the input skills. I feel like my brain kind of resets all muscle memory and controller inputs other than a plastic guitar right out the window as soon as I'm done with them. I think you're right. I think the same goes for me. But when you have a situation where there is sort of standards, like if you're going to play a FromSoft game, you know the controls are more or less going to be the exact same.
with some with some very small tweaks if you're playing a first person shooter uh maybe earlier maybe like 15 20 years ago there was a lot more things that could be different Um, but now it's all kind of coalesced around a standard and I'm not saying that like the NES has a standard, but I feel like, I don't know. And I don't know what the percentages of games that have a or B for jump being, but I think there's enough to say that.
It will throw a lot of people off. Yeah, and at least it's a button as opposed to a D-pad. Yes, but I still am okay with up his jump. So to get back to the original point, Joe, you press the jump button, which is the B button, and then you have to... punch up which is the control pad up and the a button together to dig into the wall theoretically like the ceiling of it that's what the game is saying but the game mentions timing is crucial
It does not mention what that timing is. And I don't, I think it is, I think it's a case by case thing on like whatever little, I mean, like, are they even doing a hitbox thing? Like they have to be, I suppose. But what? is the hitbox because it's clearly not the pipes. This was frustrating. Yeah, and I'll say that I think that even though they don't tell you the timing, I do think that my complaint there is invalid because it does tell you in the manual.
But I still want a valid similar complaint, so I'm just going to shift it up to under Werewolf in the manual. It says, uh, your power ray will send shockwaves throughout the entire screen. Uh, it does not say what button to hit.
or what to do to use this power ray um and then also i want to refer back to my jumping higher the a button is the b button is jump but b and up is how you really jump to get anywhere holding up makes you jump higher Now, wait, to do the power array, don't you just hold down the A button and then after holding it for a little bit, release it?
Yep, and it does say that in the manual, and I see that right now. Okay, good. And I was like, I just saw it. Now your point is just. Perfect, perfect. That one doesn't in there, but it is. The up jump is.
is not explained. But I mean, I think you're going to accidentally do that. Just like you can accidentally get stuck on a wall, you're going to accidentally up jump and figure that out. I didn't accidentally. I just started experimenting after I was like stuck and I was like, there's got to be a way to jump.
higher so I figured it out but I was a little annoyed that like that wasn't also just like I don't know just let me hold a to jump higher right now you're talking about the sewers right that's where you got stuck yeah Yeah, it's like it is such a there has to be something intended. And it's never usually, oh, maybe it's some button input that the game didn't tell me about. Right. Like this is the first time I can think of where you're supposed to do something.
That the game didn't tell you in order to get back to an area and not just like, oh, I fell in the sewers. I guess I got to go back to the left and find the staircase to go back up and try to make that jump again. It's like, no, you're supposed to. fall into the sewers and then just super jump out of them. What? Oh, you, okay. I see what you mean. I, I, I saw, well, okay, but then you've got the Swami or whoever the hell.
like telling you about the sewers and that you're going to want to maybe avoid some conflict. So I figured that you would come back out. Like it's got like split. It's just like several different. Oh, for sure. Split paths. Yeah. And there are certain parts where like if you fall into the one part I'm thinking of where it's like actually impossible to jump across the pit. So you have to fall into the sewer.
You can't make forward progress inside the sewers. That's why I was saying like, oh, maybe I just have to go back. It's like I wouldn't think like, oh, I just have to super jump to reach the other side of the platform. Like I didn't know it existed. So why would I think? Yeah, right.
It's like, oh, maybe I should howl at the moon too, right? Maybe there's a button input to do that. I do wish there was a howl at the moon. You know what? I actually think that that's what the whatever... super power thing we were talking about is basically just him helling at the moon um but uh the the the second i guess hurdle that you referenced earlier we're supposed to backflip through a lightning
Ray hallway. It's got to be the only thing that you can do, though, right? Like, I never saw another solution, but it's not... that nobody would think to do that what no why would you backflip through a room are you michael jackson that was like i didn't know what it wanted me to do until i went and watched somebody do it that's exactly how i got there too i was like i guess because otherwise like
Okay, I see a pipe up there I was on a pipe before like it's a slightly different sprite this time and I'm like I'm again I'm trying to time it and there is like this sort of Little hole that you can go through. It looks like it's navigable So I spent because this is we didn't mention this but each level is timed so I probably wasted 120
of the maximum, like 250 seconds trying to time this stupid jump to go above the lightning hallway. And I'm like, okay, screw it. Maybe I just got to power through it and I'll have enough life. But like it, you're just going to keep getting shocked. And then you will first become human man and then you will die. And then, yeah, it's like, I guess you just got to backflip. You got to, you got to matrix it.
Yeah, and honestly, the backflip, it makes sense, I guess, the way it works, but it's not like it doesn't feel good to do. You have to face the opposite way that you want to go because you're backflipping, but my brain just cannot. get around that like you have to face left and then hold the backflip button to go right but then if you hold the right d-pad button you're gonna go left and like i'm just too wired to hold the direction that i want to be moving So that really threw me off.
I'm so glad you mentioned the timer, Sean, because this is one of the first games I can think of too, where like sometimes the timer is there and it's just kind of like, okay, I don't know why they're trying to make me rush through the stage, but like whatever, 500 seconds, 400 seconds, sure. This was the first game in recent memory where, like, I died several times because I ran out of time. Yep. Oh, me too. And I don't know what that's about. Like, you never feel, like in Super Mario Brothers.
You always like hear maybe the fast music on the later stages. And sometimes maybe like a few levels will give you a quick call, but you never.
ever like have a moment early on where you're like oh shit i'm gonna die because of the time or not because i suck at the game this is the kind of game where it's like i guess maybe i'm just like not good at the traversal of being the werewolf but like holy shit this this guy is clunky as hell to control yep well this one is like the the best example of like why i don't like timers i think because i mean could anyone
Could you even put yourself in the mind of the person that pitched this and tell me, what does it bring to this game that the game doesn't already have? Does it give you a sense of urgency? There's enemies coming at you all the time and everything feels intense. It's this really short timer. It does nothing other than, I guess, like artificially inflate the time of the game because you die more often. It's got to be that because, again, this isn't a very long game at all.
So I think that that's just another thing so that you can't just you can't just sort of like tiptoe through each level just to make it so that, you know, you can't you can't rent it and be done with it. Right. Joe, you mentioned the enemies and they are they are brutal at times. There are some areas that are very manageable. You get like one enemy at a time or whatever. But on some of these more open areas.
There are sometimes like three to four enemies that just kind of like spawn in from anywhere. And I don't know. This is an issue that we had before, like early on in the podcast when like, oh, it's like a side scrolling action game. You're just going to get a bunch of crap thrown at you. I know that the spawns are all, not all of them, but most of the spawns are hand-placed.
But then you've got areas where you just get like hit by a falling leaf. And apparently that's supposed to hurt you. And that just keeps happening randomly. And. especially on like the city level with the sewers. If you're on, if you're top side, you're going to be attacked by like some dude with either a shopping cart or a pogo stick. I can't tell. some kind of almost xenomorph monster.
And people are throwing bricks and Molotov cocktails all at the same time. And it's just chaos. The people throwing the bricks is like the icing on the cake, too, because that's the one that hits you the most. At least the guy is like, yeah, he's got annoying movement, but he's like a large sprite. So you can kind of.
avoid it but whatever reason the bricks and the bombs are just like it's bombarding it's happening so often that it's littering the screen you would think it's like okay they throw the bomb and then i wait for it to blow up and then i just walk through but it's like
No, you have to like be really precise with your timing or else you're just going to get hit by the next one they throw. That's how fast they throw them. That stuff happens. And then later on too, like if you're like me and experimented with just infinite health to make it through the rest of this game.
There are later on, there's a bunch of like ninjas that are supposed to be lightning fast or whatever. So they, you know, like ninjas are. And so they have like teleporting moves or what have you, or the illusion of it. It's so hard to read where they are and where they're going and when they're going to attack because sometimes they're just like on the screen, not necessarily attacking you.
that you will just get hit a lot by that. Even with infinite health, it was amazing how much of this game I was still like just being hit stunned by other enemies because they were constantly barraging me. It's a little too much.
And I don't love when you have a lot of different enemies moving in different patterns on screen at the same time, because then it just becomes kind of impossible. Like, you can't really dodge. You can't really attack. You can't really, like... take in what you're seeing because they're coming in from all different directions too it just feels it feels numbing to the point where I'm like I don't think I want to keep playing this and that's not a great feel
Even early on, there's the second boss of the game, or maybe it's the first one, that green guy who... The goop guy? Yeah, the goop guy. You attack him and he's like a pushover. You can just attack him six times in a row before he does anything. But the thing he does is devastating. He turns into two green balls that are invincible.
Right, and they just chew around the screen. And I can't decide. The first time I did it, they were these green balls just whipping around. It's like a super ball, like bouncy ball that someone whipped at the wall, just bouncing around everywhere. There's no avoiding it.
And that went for a long time and I died. But then when I got back to it, that only lasted for like five seconds. And then it went back. I was like, I don't know what determines when this thing ends. But the first time I was, I just could not avoid it. I couldn't tell either. I thought it was maybe like once one hits you, that one goes away, and then there's like a second ball, and then maybe once that. I don't know. I was able to survive it, but...
I could not tell any kind of logic to it. Yeah. Yeah, and it's made worse by the fact that there's a... did we mention a fast timer in this game and you have to just kind of wait this out and it's like what if you're down to like 30 seconds like you're not it might take 30 seconds for them to come off screen there are uh there is one fun enemy though
And it's in the second level of the game before the goop guy. Those guys with the guns, they're wearing blue or whatever. Oh, the O's? Yeah, and they go, oh. You know, and then they shoot you. I've never seen that before, but that is fun. They're like, oh, and then they shoot you. What's funny is, is that if they come in from the left side of the screen, they are, you know, the sprite is flipped, obviously.
So instead of saying, oh, they say, ho. I was a fan of these guys. But partially because they're the only ones that drop, like, gun ammo. And also because they're fairly easy. to come by but they're also just so silly like but between the the them being the only time that you just see text on a screen aside from when you walk past that street fight that i guess happens
They also just look like something out of Power Rangers. It's very funny. Yeah. The fight, the street fight, are you talking about the guys who after you finish the fight start yelling fight? Yeah. yeah okay yeah because that's strange right it's like you finish the boss fight and then they're like fight and then you see another boss but then he just leaves the screen and you leave the screen I couldn't tell if that was supposed to be a... It felt like a glitch, right? Playing with your...
expectations, or if there was a fight happening behind the wall, or if, yeah, it was just bad scripting. I don't know. Did anyone play around with the super werewolf form? Were you able to get...
To Super Werewolf? I got to Super Werewolf like maybe once or twice, but I mean, yeah, I didn't really notice too much of the benefits to it, to be honest. I spent most of the time in regular werewolf form. I mean, it's just... the double damage thing is probably the most useful right low yeah you glow and you have a higher jump naturally
Your jump's already so high, though. I'm not sure I've noticed the difference. Especially in the levels that aren't open. A lot of these are narrow hallways. I don't see how it helps. It might hurt. Oh, it extends your claws, too, I believe. I think your claws have a little more reach. Well, there's also a way, supposedly, to get to it from werewolf straight to super werewolf.
Oh, I'm so glad you brought this up. This is something that is written in the manual and I'm checking and double checking and triple checking because I was wrong before. It's in the manual and I saw it as well and I can tell you that to this day, no one knows what that means. okay because the way they're describing it is like you get a blue w which is which usually hurts you but you have to do something else with it but i don't know what else you could do with it um
I think that's what it says in the manual. Yeah, the manual says that it's a Farion, the villain of the game's trick, is these blue W's that, you know, because a red W will transform you into the werewolf, the blue W. will basically revert you back to the human form. It says if you're already human, it will make you lose life points. However, there is a way to turn the tables on Faryan and use his blue W.
in combination with a red one to go directly to super werewolf status. What does that mean? That doesn't mean anything to me, but also it seems like maybe Farion wrote the manual and he's trying to figure out collecting these. Yeah, like it's part of the trick. It's gotta be. I kind of like that. The idea that Farian, he's so tricky that just like the werewolf, he has come out of the game and he's interacting with us in the real world. So we love this game. Essential. No.
Well, hold on. Both of those things have to happen later in the episode. First, I would like to talk about other werewolf games. Can't think of any. Right? Isn't there a Legend of Zelda where you're like a werewolf? Is that a Twilight game? There's a Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess game. Oh, wow. I never thought about that, Sean. The Twilight may be a reference to Twilight. But yes, Link turns into a wolf in that one.
We have a running joke on our Discord just about how terrible this game is. We consistently call it one of the worst games of all time. It is not. It is not one of the worst games of all time. However, it's definitely one of the more disappointing Zelda games. Maybe the most disappointing is in Zelda 2. I was disappointed in Zelda 2. I know. I was just trying to rile up people again. Look at me. Oh, I'm riled. There's another werewolf game, Sonic Unleashed.
Sonic turns into a werehog. I could think of like, you know, it would be a pretty cool game. Like if we made like a modern werewolf thing where, you know, you get really mad. Is that a thing? Anger isn't a werewolf thing. No, it's just a full moon. Yeah, but Sean, you're our CRPG guy. Did you play Elder Scrolls III? Uh, yeah, I know you could turn to a vampire. I didn't know you could turn to a werewolf. Well, you could turn to a werewolf in five.
And four, I think. Five, I think. I don't know if you can do it in four, but five is referencing this thing in three because you go to the same island. It was DLC called Elder Scrolls three blood moon. And that.
A werewolf. And then, yes, you go back to that. Look at Joe. Joe knows his stuff. I'm a big Skyrim and Oblivion fan. There was a more recent werewolf game where you'd... you know you play as a werewolf but it has pretty bad reviews it's called werewolf the apocalypse earthblood and it's like is that two subtitles that's too many subtitles yeah werewolf the apocalypse earthblood uh and it's kind of like a
an action stealth game. And I'm like, why would a werewolf need to be stealthy? Yeah. I feel like all werewolves do or just like be like more animalistic. That was their stick. And there is a werewolf or werewolf like. in World of Warcraft called the Worgans. But we don't play any of that shit, right? What are we, nerds? Yeah. Oh, and then there's the Wolf Among Us.
uh oh yeah but that's like oh yeah not you're not yeah no werewolf stuff but like yeah i mean the big bad wolf right he is a big bad wolf that's also like a hard-boiled dude Yeah, so if we're counting wolf games, man, we could open this whole thing up, right? Is Okami, is that a wolf? That's a wolf. There you go. Look.
But he's not a werewolf. You're talking only games that you play as a werewolf or that include werewolves? Well, now we're just thinking about wolves. Right. This segment is called... Just wolves in general. This segment is now called Where Are the Wolves? Werewolves. Werewolves? Swearwolves? What are frogs? Like, what are frogs? Yeah, what are frogs? It's an amphibian. Okay, great.
And then I just have to mention this because I was doing a little bit of just trying to make sure I know enough about werewolves to talk about them if we had to on this show. And I'm glad Joe brought up most of those things about like silver bullets are supposed to kill these guys, but he's shooting them. and that there's no full moon. And so we brought up most of that stuff. But in my research, I came across, now we all know about the Salem witch trials.
But in Germany, they had kind of the same thing with werewolf trials. Did you guys know about this? Well, that's so much cooler. Was it dudes this time? Yeah, they killed a guy over accusing him of a werewolf. But if you're a werewolf, like with witches, it's like, oh, we got to see if they sink underwater and like put a fish on their head and see if they twitch or something.
But like with the werewolf, it's just like you can definitively prove it. Just like wait until the full moon and see if they turn into werewolf. Well, maybe they had the common sense to think like, oh, maybe that's just in the stories. you could actually suppress it. Oh, and in this, you have to be, you have to be angry. Yeah. Pick up a little red W in conjunction with a blue W. But.
Like, were there tests? Did you do enough research to see if there were, like, werewolf tests? Well, the problem is that this guy, Peter Stump, and I'm not going to commit any slander against this guy because that's a pretty terrible way to die. It's pretty bad. This is in the 1500s. It's pretty bad to be killed because people thought you were a werewolf. That's insane, right? Imagine if that's on your tombstone. I feel like that would be a pretty good way to go.
He was beheaded. That was the end of... I guess that's how you kill a werewolf, you behead them? I never heard that. I guess I just would have appreciated more testing. Yeah, right. Because so that he he is, though, he's like all about it in a weird way. He he confessed to participating in black magic since he was 12 years old.
He said that the devil gave him a magic belt when he was a kid. Like he has the ability to metamorphosize. So he was like asking for it in a way. He's a werewolf. He was a werewolf. Yeah, he's kind of creating a lot of the lore, if you think about it. He says that wearing the belt transformed him into a wolf, and that removing the belt made him transform back into a human. Then give him the belt.
Right, right, right. Where's the belt? I guess conveniently lost that day. But he also said that he would, not he said this, but he was rumored to have consumed a lot of blood. Okay. I mean, that's just more vampire stuff, though. Okay, so this is, like, the Salem Witch Trials, like, the reason we call things witch hunts is because, like, oh, we're just, like, trying to find something wrong with this person so we can attack them, or we're looking...
for a witch and we're finding all these little things. This guy was not being like witch hunted. This guy was like making up that he was a werewolf and trying to sell everybody that he's a werewolf. Almost like he was using it. As an excuse to kill 14 children. Yeah, he was drinking blood? Like, all right, maybe people thought something was wrong with him. What he did, I no longer feel any sympathy. He confessed to killing and eating 14 children and two pregnant women.
I don't believe he did any of that now. This is like death by cop. He's just trying to do it. The coolest ways to pull out your wallet to show it. Right. But his Wikipedia stub is pretty cool. It says that he's a German farmer, alleged serial killer who was accused of witchcraft, cannibalism, and werewolfery. Now, werewolfery is just, again, a new term for me. It's like tomfoolery. Yeah. Werewolfery. But, you know, I just thought that out of all the things I learned about werewolves this week...
not much of a, the only other thing I thought was interesting was that like werewolves go back to ancient Greece. I didn't know that they went back that far. Would have thought it went, went further. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Well, I guess like, yeah, theoretically, but I don't know. I feel like. Most werewolf lore is in like that Quaker time with the witches and stuff, right? Like there's witches.
Don't bring the Quakers into this. I mean, like, they didn't do anything like that. They brought themselves into this, right? They were chill dudes. All right, and we'll go back to keeping this a chill episode in our final segment, The Essential Games List. Werewolf the Last Warrior does go hard, but it is also hard to play this game.
And I came up with that on the fly. So I deserve some kind of credit. But also, I just want to say that as I was playing this game again, like a couple hours before this record, just to make sure to confirm my beliefs, because I was like, oh, maybe this is actually like if you're.
If you like difficult NES games, we could recommend this maybe. I don't think even that's the case because the controls are so poor. If you just want to see what this game's about, you know, I can't stop you. Play on a full moon night, but... For the most part, the part that bothers me the most is like...
You know, the the littered with enemies screens and the sometimes confusing like, oh, you got a backflip to get through these electric rays. Like that stuff is just like it's not telegraphed. So that's that feels bad. The problem is the minute to minute gameplay and control of the werewolf doesn't feel cool. You know, we were talking in the past on other episodes about like transformations, whether they are in platformers or whether they are in shmups.
right there are there are certain transformations that like oh i get it i finally collected all the power-ups and now i feel like a badass i didn't feel like the werewolf really controlled all that better than the man other than the fact that he's like obviously stronger and you know a different sprite but like
It didn't feel like, oh, you want to be the werewolf because that's where the tight gameplay is. There is no tight gameplay in this game. So it's a no for me. Sean? Yeah, this has excellent presentation, at least like... visually and and just vibes it's got terrible but like so bad it's good storytelling like we didn't talk about this in the show but like there's a moment where
uh there's just like this description that you died off screen and that the world is lost and then in the same paragraph says but somehow you overcame it and you're back And then it just drops you into the next level. It's so sophomoric. It's hilarious. But... All that stuff's great, but again, the controls are so bad. It feels so bad to play this game that you can't. I can't put it there. But still, it'll stick in my memory. Not essential. Joe.
Yeah, it it doesn't feel great to play. I mean, you both kind of said this. I don't have too much more to add. It just it just it kind of feels sticky. It kind of feels like like I don't I get what they're.
trying to do I appreciate the way they're doing it but I don't ever feel like a badass werewolf really I mean I don't feel that different as a werewolf as I do as the guy you know it takes fewer hits to kill things but like I don't know just overall mediocre experience I'm gonna say not essential I feel like I don't feel that different as a werewolf than I do as a guy would be like if you had a werewolf in like therapy he might say that yeah
That's true. I like that. It's worth mentioning the warwolf version of the game doesn't change anything really. It has a really awesome box art, though, of the werewolf with his... blades for hands or whatever, Edward Warwolf. But it changes one thing in the manual. That's very strange. And it's probably just a weird translation or whatever, but I guess not because it goes into it a little more than just one line. But this takes place on Red Earth.
instead of Earth. I forgot about that, yeah. What is Red Earth? Is this like future Mars? Right? But like, why even bother? Why bother changing like... Again!
Oh, my suspension of disbelief. Here's the other thing that we forgot to mention. We never, I doubt, maybe Mike, you did after you turned on Invincibility, but once you beat the game, you get this really cool image of... of the werewolf holding the american flag so is there like in america on red earth well red earth just has to be like earth two right earth two america one um there's only one america
Make that the art for this episode, please. Yeah, I mean, it is pretty awesome because he's also implied to be naked but just hairy enough on the bottom half that you don't see anything. Sean, since you saw the ending. You also must have seen that there is a cliffhanger. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's an end credit scene. I can't even tell what it's supposed to be. Maybe it's supposed to be like another big bad, but it's just so...
You get just like a little slice of something, and I don't know what it's supposed to be, so. Yeah, it's just next time, and thankfully there wasn't one. Darn. It would have taken place on Blue Earth, I'm sure. We're Blue Earth. I think you just blew yourself. We're not done, though. Yeah, we're not done. Of course not. Because it's our 400th episode, and you know what I always like to do on those 100...
landmark episodes is have a little trivia contest. Do you have a name for this game? Nope, I don't. We could workshop one. Whose line is it anyway? There we go. Perfect. Never been done before. On episode 500, maybe I'll have a name for this. It's evolving every 100 episodes. Yeah.
But all right, if anyone doesn't remember what we do here, normally I have a list of quotes that we've said before, and I award Sean and Mike, who are on a team, points for whenever they can decide who said this quote. And an additional point usually for if they can tell me what episode it was in. Okay. Last time we did this, well, the first time we did this, friend of the show, Mark Pascualotto, played the game first and you guys tried to beat him, which you did.
the second time we did it the second time we did it your goal was to beat your previous record percentage which was 50% exactly so uh, and you tied it. So this time I'm hoping you can beat it. Um, so we're only as good as a coin flip. Yeah. You're only as good as a coin flip. Now I will say that sometimes these are pretty difficult to decide, like what episode it was from.
I think that's, like, sometimes that's the harder thing. Sometimes it's easier, though, depending on the context. But that's included in the percentage? We were also right about that 50% of the time? Each one is worth a point. Okay. This is nuts. Got it. This game today will be worth, I believe, a total of 39 points. So you need to get at least 20 points to beat your previous record.
I'm not feeling good about it. I'm feeling absolutely great. I know everything I've ever said. We know that about you, Sean. That's one thing we know about you. You never forget something you said on the podcast. All right, well, let's get started then. Question number one, a quote you need to answer. There's only one where you don't have to answer both, so I'll let you know. Trick question. You have to answer both. Here's the quote.
He's only the bad guy if you don't believe in, I guess if you're not a fan of tax evasion. Mike. Interesting. Sure, I'll say me. Okay, do you want that answer first or do you want to decide what episode? We want to say it's me first. It is you. Okay, great. Great. I don't know what game that's from. Tax evasion. Well, Yoshi evades his taxes. You know what? Before you keep going.
Two things I forgot to mention, just so you know. These are tools in your arsenal. One, all of these quotes are from somewhere from episode 300 to episode 400. Okay. Some of these quotes, like multiple will be from the same game. So keep that in mind. That could be helpful. Okay. Can you read the quote one more time? He's only the bad guy if you don't believe in...
I guess if you're not a fan of tax evasion. Okay, so is it like Casino Kid? Yeah, I was going to say either Casino Kid or the one where you trade stocks. But I don't think there's a villain in that game. Is there? Yeah, that's a good call. There's probably no villain in... Ah, shit. Wall Street Kid, though, could be it as well, and that sucks. Maybe we were saying that you play the villain.
Hmm. Hmm. Yeah, if you play the villain, then you're Wall Street Kid, right? Yeah, let's go with that. What do you think? Okay, Wall Street Kid. It is not Wall Street Kid, although that's probably the guess that I would have made, too. This is a tough one because this is from Street Fighter 2010, the game that I couldn't remember earlier.
I think we were talking about Scooby-Doo. We got to talking about Scooby-Doo. Oh my goodness. This is going to be ridiculous. I'm only going to get them in the context of the game. You're at 50% right now. Yeah, we're good. We're good. All right, next. The quote is, are you in your name?
Now that's Sean. I know that that is Sean. That was me. That is Sean. I don't remember. I don't remember what game it was. No, we were doing it because we were doing something with like the name screens, you know, where like you.
Sort of like Mega Man or whatever? No, no, but you type in your name. Okay. Are you in your name? Okay, so it was Sean, but maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was like Sesame Street. I know it had something to do with like... like it was oh it's spot a cool spot not cool spot something oh my god you're right you're right right right spot um The one that's like the Othello spot the video game. Spot the video game. Give us some grace on if it's not the exact title. You're going Sean, spot the video game.
Yes. Correct on both accounts. See, they're not all crazy hard. That one, you could get there. Because Spot is in the name Spot. Right, right. Some of them are crazy hard, though, so just keep that in mind.
All right, next. And also... I'm sorry. And they're also having an HD mode in the game, too, that removes the NES graphical style. Hmm. Well, that's got to be me. We laughed at the idea that, like... the nes graphical style could be removed revealing the hd mode underneath it right right right okay so this was about a game that was that was remastered or remade or something
But then again, it could have been about something entirely different. If it could also be about Scooby-Doo. Joe, could you possibly be one of the persons who says the line? Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. So maybe this is a Joe thing.
It sounds like a Mike-ism, but... It does sound like me, but I guess I'm just thinking... that's like a joe quip you know like i mentioned that there's a remake and then and then joe says yeah and they're also removing the nes graphics i see that i can i can go with joe on this okay but i Don't have the faintest idea of what game that would be. Removing the NES graphics. I'll give you the tiniest of hints. This is an out-of-the-box hard one. Out-of-the-box hard. There's a few of those.
You got to think outside the box on this one. It's like the trolley problem. Can you read the quote in full one more time? And they're also having an HD mode in the game, too, that removes the NES graphical style. I don't know. Pictionary? Sure. Joe Pictionary. It is not me. You should have gone with your gut. It is Mike. And it was the Nostalgia Patreon mailbag. Wow. What? Okay.
We are not going to do this. We are not going to do this. Keep going. All right, next one. You wouldn't say all the powers of, you know, Mahatma Gandhi in your hands, right? If you were playing some kind of like 1945 Indian independence adventure. Is this Mike? I thought the first half was me, but then the whole 1945 India independence adventure was like way too sophisticated. I don't think I even know when.
India got independence. So I think this may have been Joe then. No, but I mean, it could be me. I don't want to get screwed on this. Because I know that India got its independence in 1948. Okay. So. You have to learn that later. I do have that information. You have no reason to bring up India at all, though, right? Would I? No, do you? That's what I'm saying. Did you have an interest? You only talk about things you have an interest in.
I mean, I don't, I don't have disinterest, but I guess I, okay, we have, we're going to need to read the thing back again. You wouldn't say all the powers of, you know, Muhammad Gandhi in your hands, right? If you were playing some kind of 1945 Indian independence adventure. Okay, so maybe this is... Okay, so it's got to be one of those strategy games. Right, right. Okay, it's from the past 100, so... Was romance in the last 100? Ooh.
Let's see. No. Romance was not in the last 100. But it has to be one of those Koei strategy games. Was it Genghis Khan? Is that one? Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, that's a good call, right? Because... Genghis Khan is also a bad dude. He's a bad dude. All the power of Genghis Khan in your hands. But I also know that Joe has-
I skip all those episodes strategically skip those episodes. So it's gotta be, I just don't think I said that. So maybe it was you. I don't know. It's tough. Yeah. I'm, I'm going to, I'm going to stick with my gut. Me, Genghis Khan. It was you. But it was episode 330, Shinjin the Ruler. Shinjin the Ruler. Damn it. Shinjin the Ruler. We were so close. Can we get a half point for that? I would give Sean a point if he could tell us anything about Shinjin the ruler. It was like the same stuff.
It was the same thing. It was like rice. You counted rice and stuff, probably. You're not wrong. It was kind of the same stuff. It's okay. We don't need to do it. All right. Next. And then for like two seconds, a flying saucer UFO flies by going. And I was like, I was like shook. I was like, what on earth was that? OK, now that's Joe.
Okay, yeah. Oh, that second part was also the quote. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's Joe, and I think, if I recall, the Flying Saucer game happens in Sesame Street, right? Maybe. I guess I was thinking way back before that. What? How far back? Before it could be. Then a flying saucer comes in. Oof.
You're making me second guess myself, but we had a recent Sesame Street game. I don't know why I keep going to Sesame Street. I'll give you a little more. I'm going to paraphrase a little bit more of what came before this quote. Okay. It was just my party and no one on the other side of the screen. And then for like two seconds, the flying saucer UFOs, et cetera, et cetera. Okay, so it's an RPG. We hope. Well.
A flying saucer. Oof. I don't know. Well, okay. So of the RPGs we've played, right? Uh-huh. We played Final Fantasy. True. I can't think of a UFO in Final Fantasy. Oh. Uh, man, I keep thinking. Dragon Warrior didn't have one. What was the more sci-fi one? Was that in the last hundred? We all liked it. Sci-fi RPG? Yeah. Uh.
I don't know video games anymore. Come on. There's a sci-fi or it's Crystallis. Crystallis was sci-fi? Yeah. Was it not? I don't think you have a party in Crystallis. It was like... Maybe you're right. It wasn't that. It's a single word, but also maybe it's Cosmopolis. What about Destiny of an Emperor? You have a large party in that game. Destiny of an Emperor. That's the one with the never-ending Chinese RPG. You can get like 100 people in your party. Oh. Oh, I remember that.
Oh, look, that could be it. That is it. But why would a UFO be in there? I mean, maybe there was just some weird thing, but... I think we go with it. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, but who said it? Joe, right? It's Joe said it. All right, Joe said it. Destiny of an Emperor. It was me. It was not Destiny of an Emperor. It was from Final Fantasy. I'm referring to... I'm talking about Final Fantasy VIII. Sean, I was hoping that maybe you were familiar with this.
We talked about in the episode that there was an Easter egg in Final Fantasy VIII that I saw when I was a kid and it scared the shit out of me. I totally forgot about that. I think it leads to a side quest or something if you find all the UFOs. Got it. All right, moving on. I think this is going to be a tough one for the game, but maybe not. I don't know. Honey, I'm going to read the paper. And she goes, that's not the paper. That's this episode of nostalgia.
Okay. Honestly, next time you should just fast rip all of these quotes. That's the game. These are priceless quotes. Honey, I'm going to read the paper. That's not the paper. That's this week's episode of Nostalgia. It's 100% Mike. But I have no idea what it could possibly be. Yeah, I'm going to read the paper notes. Can we get like a line leading up to it or do you have that at all? I don't have it. Yeah. To be honest, I don't know.
Don't spend too much time on it. I don't know if there's much context here. Okay, I'm going to say Skate or Die 2. All right, it was Mike. Okay. And it was Metal Gear. Okay. And I don't remember why. Some of these I had written down throughout this past year or whatever. Others I went back and listened to this week. So those ones I have more context to. Otherwise, I'm just like, I wrote this down because I thought it was funny at the time. Okay.
That is so funny. You have six points. Snake's Revenge. Interesting. All right. Next one. Can't he just dream drop back there? I think this was me. Kingdom Hearts reference. Yeah, that seems like something Sean would say. Okay, but we did a game about dreams, though, right? Yeah, Little Nemo, the Dream Master. Let's just do that, then. Cool. Little Nemo, the Dream Master, and Sean. It was Sean, and it was also Final Fantasy.
We're talking about Garland and how he goes back in time, but we kept referring back to the connections of Kingdom Hearts Final Fantasy. You talked about everyone getting Nord-ed at one point. I do. I do like to talk about it. Fantastic. Wow. Go back and listen to that one, folks. All right. Here's a lob ball for you. Are there not images on the screen that are fighting?
Oh, my God. Image fight. But who said it? That's a you. That's a Mike. I don't know. That could be a Joe. Could be. Yeah, that's true. We haven't had a lot of Joes yet. You said Mike. I said Joe. I think we need Joe to come in and tiebreak it. I'm just going to sabotage. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I wouldn't be that on the nose. Let's go with Joe. All right, Joe said it. Image fight.
It is Joe and it is Image Fight, correct? All right, you needed that. You needed that too there. All right. Everyone knows how shorts work. Your hands up, your mouth's open, your shorts are going to fall down. Everyone knows how shorts work. It's definitely not me. It's not me either. Right. So that sounds like a Joe one, too. But would he really put himself back to back like that? That's like an hour metagaming.
But it does sound exactly like something Joe would say. Everyone knows how shorts work. You put your hands up, your mouth drops, and your shorts drop. But whose shorts would have dropped? I don't know who wears shorts. Right. I was thinking like Maniac Mansion maybe. Oh. But nobody in there drops their shorts. That's true. Oh, Dick Tracy? That sounds right. That's like we got like some weird cartoony comic book stuff.
Right. Okay. Bugs Bunny's birthday blowout. Nobody would wear shorts. No. No. I think you're just going around. Yeah. I don't know. Everyone knows how shorts work. Everyone knows how shorts work. Your hands up. Your mouth's open. Your shorts are going to fall down. So good. Let's stick with Dick Tracy. All right, Dick Tracy, Joe. It was me, but it was from Punch Out featuring Mr. Dream.
every time you punch him his hands go up his mouth open his shorts fall down so this wasn't actually said since like It wasn't said since, but this episode was released. It was released. That's true. It's 351. Got it. All right. Next one. My opening line, I think, captured it pretty well. Redacted, I said. Five seconds to understand, a lifetime to master, or at least get seriously good at. Okay, so that's me. Yeah. And I do remember this. It's a puzzle game. Yeah.
I think it's loops, right? I think you're right. I think it's loops. Okay, loops and me. It is not loops. God freaking darn it. And it is not you. You guys are going to hate me at the end of this. Wait, can I get a second guess on what game it was? You don't have to give me any points, but how is it not loops? A lifetime to master. You're so close.
Orb 3D. Oh, no, yeah, Pipe Dream. You're so close, but not close enough because I'm a tricky son of a bitch. It's from the Nostalgia AI recap of Pipe Dream. And the person who said it was male AI voice. Recapping your opening line. He called it his opening line. That's not good. Oh my gosh. That's crazy. You're right. Nostalgia AI. All right, this one, you only need to get the person who said it, not the game. Okay. Who's your favorite Final Fantasy character, Matoya?
Matoya? I don't even know what that is. Matoya's Cave. So that's Joe said that. Okay. Correct. I don't remember what episode. It was a Blights episode, but I wrote it down. I just didn't write down the episode. All right. Next. Oh, wait, guys. Stop right now. Stop right now. This episode is officially longer than the game could ever be. Oh, my God. Yeah. So I think this is me. That's me. Oh, it's you.
oh no no it might be you you're right you're right but i think it was me i think you also commented on how short it was but is it time lord is that a game that has like it Yes, it has to be Time Lord because Time Lord has a set. It can only be this long. Yeah, I think you're right. Time Lord has a time limit to beat the game. Okay. Yeah, let's go with that. Me and Time Lord. Yeah. It is Mike. It is not Time Lord. It is...
Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular, which also could only be like 37 minutes exactly because there was a time limit or something like that.
oh man I feel like Time Lord also had the time there was something with time like actual real time with that game I can't remember you had like a yeah you had an exact amount of seconds or whatever yeah that sounds familiar but not when we said it that's not when you said it i know i get it all right yeah also his thing like blowing the bubble and floating into the air this is a little scarier than the others
He just starts, like, floating away, and then he falls banging into the walls the whole way down. You know, and then he just trots away with his lanky, weird self. I need the whole quote again. Yeah, also, his thing, like, blowing the bubbles and floating up in the air. This is a little scarier than the others. He just starts like floating away and then he falls banging into the walls the whole way down. You know, then he just trots away with his lanky weird self. Oh boy. Yeah, this is...
Oh, boy. This is a lot. Yeah, I feel like it's you. I don't think I would say Linky Weird Self, but maybe I did. Because words. Blowing a bubble, though. Bubble blowing, falling down a wall. Oh, man. I'm lost here. It's so much easier to be the guy reading the questions on these. Right, right. I feel like... Little Nemo. But I'm just basically saying the same games over and over again. So I have like a bias here. Let's just go with Little Nemo. And I guess me. Wait, wait, wait. What about...
The Adventures of Gilligan's Island. No, no, no, no, no. I actually have visual memories of that game. Okay, hold on. His lanky self. Who's lanky? I don't know. There's lanky Kong. I don't know who that is. That's one of Donkey Kong's family members. How dare you? I'll tell you, this person's not. I think the reason that it was said lanky weird self is because this person shouldn't be lanky. He shouldn't be lanky.
As lanky as he is in this game. And we commented on, like, wow, why is he so lanky? As lanky as he is in this game. Darn. Yeah, I've given up. i know i don't i i we have to guess who said it though right yeah yeah who said it and so joe said it we'll just say um and uh yeah i guess a little nemo i did say it good
And it is from Sesame Street, Big Bird's Hide and Speak. And I believe it was Ernie that was like way too tall. Oh, the little victory dance. And he bounces into the wall as he falls down. I vaguely remember that. Now, I know this feels dire, but like.
You guys got 13 points. There's still, I don't know, there's still quite a few questions left. It's not that crazy that you get more than 19 points here. I think you're on a good track. Okay. All right. All right. I appreciate the encouragement. All right. Next one. Oh. That's the end of my contract. Now that feels like a Sean thing to say. It does sound like a me saying, I do like to say I'm going to quit the show pretty often. Yeah.
But there's zero context clues for the game, so we might as well just pick a random game. Let's say Mule. I don't remember what game that is. I don't think you were on that episode. You weren't even on Mule, I think. I knew that. That was a real episode? I thought the only episode I ever missed was... It was a real episode. No, we do some secretly without you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mike's without Sean. Let's think about this. There's 673 games, so maybe it was the halfway point. That would have been like 330-something. I mean, I'm just... I have no idea. That was a made-up. Oh, wow. I definitely didn't play this game. Mule, you would like it. Yeah, I liked it. Let's say Circus Caper. Circus Caper? Sean? Circus Caper. Sure. It is Sean, and it was...
Your line of thinking might have almost gotten you there, Mike, but it was episode 300, Pinbot. And the only reason I thought, like, maybe you should remember this because you said it in episode 300, so that's the end of my contract. And then I let you know that because I was getting ready for this game, I listened to episode 200 and you had said it in episode 200 as well. It's happening in every, every hundredth episode you make. Well, at least we know that episode.
400 will be my last. It is my contract. All right. So now that you said it again, I'll use it next time too. He didn't let me look at any of his carts, so he wouldn't allow it. Casino Kid? Any of his carts? Any of his carts. Oh, carts. I thought it was carts. He wouldn't let me look at any of his carts. I don't know. Mike, were you ever telling us a story about someone that had NES games but wouldn't let you look at them? No, I would never tell a story like that. Any of his carts.
Um, no. Would it be me? No? Okay. Joe. Joe. Joe and why not Solar Jetman? It was Joe. And it was Palamedes when Mike said, like, Sean, don't be mad, but Joe and I played this together. Then there was something we were talking about that, like, we didn't know. And Mike was like, it's on the cartridge.
Oh, no, I would say it's on the cartridge because you guys never fucking looked. Well, yeah, because we weren't playing it on the cartridge, but I didn't want to admit that we didn't play it on the cartridge. Right. All right, that's 15 points. Okay. Here comes a two-pointer. You get just like this little slice of something, and I'm not sure what it's supposed to be. Oh, wow. Okay, never mind. That's got to be me. A little slice of something, and that's here what it's supposed to be.
Oh, that's Pictionary, right? Oh, yeah. Or maybe... Wait, what's the one? Is it Classic Concentration, actually? Oh, good call, good call. You think it's still me, though? Maybe. Let's go with my classic concentration. Sadly, it was Sean, episode 400. Werewolf. It was like after your essential games vote. It was like the last thing you said before we started this game. What the fuck are you talking about? Listen back to it. You just said that. You just said that and you didn't know.
I don't even remember why you said it but I wrote it down as you were saying it get a little slice of something you're not sure oh my god it's the to be continued oh yeah yeah that's right oh wow that's that was devious and that was not nice that was that was i thought that was gonna be like oh they're gonna just laugh and be like okay i just said that yeah no way
It's not quite as iconic as are you and your name. I did have to make this one a little more obscure because originally I had one where it was like, if you had a redacted say that in like... Or if you had it redacted in like therapy, he'd say that. He would have gotten that immediately. That's true. I would have gotten that. All right. Let's see. Okay. So you guys are going to be.
I'm just going to, I'm going to, I'm looking to see like how many, how many hints I should give you here, but oh no, I'm not going to give you a hint. So you guys are going to be doing some amphetamine version of redacted and just, you know. I was waiting for the you know. Amphetamine version of Redacted. And the Redacted is a puzzle game. Amphetamine version of Tetris. No, Dr. Mario.
Yeah. So Dr. Mario is the game we're talking about, amphetamine version of Tetris. Of Tetris. Oh, I gotcha. Yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Totally get it now. Kind of feels like a new thing. Yeah. Let's say me, Dr. Mario. It is Sean. And wow, Dr. Mario makes so much sense. But it is not Dr. Mario. It's Pelomedes.
I knew it was Palomini's. Why'd you say Dr. Mario? No, no, I meant like in the back of my head I knew, but the obvious answer felt safer. It's true, it's true. All right, two more questions. And you have 16 points. So we need to get three out of four? You need three out of four to tie. Okay. You need to get four out of four to win. This happened like last time too, almost exactly like this. Well, hold on.
39, so we would get 20 out of 39, which is above 50%. I guess that's true. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. No, you get 16, so you get three more, you get 19. Yeah, so it's actually below 50%. Yeah, we lost. We'll round it up to the tie. Yeah. To the .5. All right. But, like, it's a pretty creepy ending, right? It's like he turns into a giant cytoplasm-esque thing. Wow. Actually, I'm sorry. Turns into a giant, like, cyboplasm-esque thing.
Cybo? Yeah, and then we laughed at them. Well, that's a made-up word, so it's mine. It's a made-up word, and it was still used as, like, ask, like we all knew what cyboplasm was like. Yeah, that's 100% me. But what would turn you into a cyboplasm-esque thing?
Oh, Low-G Gravity Man? That's what I was going to say. I didn't know the name of it, but it's the one where you just sort of puzzle it on a spaceship, right? I'll tell you this. No, no, no. That's Solar Jet Man. I'll tell you this. This is... A game that has already been an answer. Oh, so it's definitely not low G. Cyboplasm-esque Snoopy, right? Did Pipe Dream have... No, Pipe Dream wasn't the answer.
Snake's Revenge? That's Metal Gear. Yeah. Pipe Dream didn't have an ending. It also wasn't an episode. that was used already. That was the AI version. Right. But maybe there's some weird, like, melting into cytoplasm in Sesame Street. I say we go with Snake's Revenge. Snake's Revenge. Mike and Snake's Revenge. Mike and Snake's Revenge. Incorrect. It is Mike. It was not Snake's Revenge. It was Street Fighter 2010. Oh, right. So we had a Scooby-Doo reference and now a Cyboplasm reference.
Great. Absolutely. All right. Last one. One of the cypoplasm references of our time. The last one. And if you get. Two right here. We'll call it still a tie to last year. Yeah, we rammed up. What I think was really unfair with a lot of those episodes is that they were always like, no, it's just like mirrors. But it's like, in this cartoon, you can make a mirror do whatever you want it to. I'm going to say Joe. Okay, Joe, and it's got to be a cartoon then. Yeah.
But we talk about cartoons and games that aren't based on cartoons. Of course, of course. Say the quote again. What I think was really unfair with a lot of those episodes is that they were always like, no, no, it's just like mirrors. But in this cartoon, you can make a mirror do whatever you want it to. We literally just say bullshit on this shit. That is nonsensical, and I feel so bad that everybody had to listen to that line in particular. Yeah, there's no actual...
There's no wordsmithing when it comes to what we do. Yeah, there was no substance. Yeah. So which one were we talking about? We were talking about Scooby-Doo in what episode? We were talking about Scooby-Doo. The one we just talked about? Street Fighter 2010? Yeah, let's just do that. No, it can't be that again, can it? He said multiple. I don't know if he said two or three. All right, but who said it?
Joe? Yeah. All right. So Joe said it. Mirrors. What about Bugs Bunny? Were there mirrors in Bugs Bunny? No. Okay. Joe Bugs Bunny's birthday blowout. Is that where you're going, Bugs Bunny? Yeah. No, there are mirrors in Scooby-Doo, and it is Street Fighter 2010. See? Oh, my God. And it was Sean anyways. Oh, wow. So we double lost on that one.
Wow, I just buried you, Sean, with that comment. It's okay. I can't feel bad for anyone to listen to that. I say a lot of that. Well, I think everything I heard... makes me want to quit the podcast. The last 20 quotes have been absolute garbage. Thank God our contract's up. Sean's contract, yeah.
And, you know, for the record, I clearly picked these based on what I think will be interesting quotes and not what I think will be a fair game to play. Oh, of course, of course. Yeah. I like almost all of these quotes. Out of context. Except for that one. Yeah, they're great. Yeah. That one in particular just really pissed me off. But what was the ninth quote? The ninth quote? I don't have them numbered. Just count. One, two, three.
Nine, I think, was everyone knows how shorts work. Your hands up, your mouth's open, and your shorts are going to fall down. That's an all-time line. That's a meme for this show now. Everybody knows how shorts work. Yeah, we're going to make it happen. How do we end this? It was about to end, John. I thought that was going to be the end. It was about to end. Should we end it now? We can wait here until next week's episode. Now?
Okay. Okay, what? Damn it. I want to stop. I won't stop until I hit the hour and a half, which is a minute from now. Yeah, you got 80 seconds. Or I could just lie to the listener and stop right now.