What In The World? w/ Amber Borzotra

Hello everyone. I'm Devin Simone.

And I'm Anissa Ferreira and this is MTV's official Challenge podcast.

Woot woot.

It was a good episode. O way, you guys missed me last week, but I'm back.

It was a good episode and right on time and questionably on time, and it was a good episode. There was I was kind of in my feels this episode, and there was some good twists.

What were your thoughts about Anisa.

Yeah, it definitely started with a lot of like it definitely started.

On the down moment and then and then we just kept getting hit with zingers.

So it was like Ben, you know, getting sick, and it sucks getting sick in that environment, but when you're really sick and no one knows what's going on, like that's scary. And you're and you're so far right with limited contact to him, I mean you're like the southernmost point. Yeah, and then Tristan's sick, and then Amber wasn't feeling well.

Yeah, have you seen where it's been this miniece, Because in the beginning, like you said, it was kind of bleak because it was so many people taken down. I wonder if they all thought it was maybe the same thing at first, or they knew.

I'm sure they thought it was the same thing, except for Amber. Her symptoms were probably different. Sleepy, emotional, yeah, fuck, just out of her mind like you.

I couldn't. I don't know.

I don't know how she did it, but it was such a cute surprise. And to know that Amber left at the right exact moment for her.

I mean, such a meaningful moment too, And I can't wait to ask her about that and really get into it, because this is I think this is like a one of all the episodes of the challenge that have happened now I'm hundreds. This one is so unique in so many ways. It sort of breaks a lot of barriers, and it'll be really great to talk to her about that. I want to know, Anissa, you know who was your queen of the world this week?

And who do you think was on another planet?

Well?

King and queen, I mean there might be two. I think Tristan and Kiki killed killed Trivia.

Yeah they did. It was like thing they didn't know.

Yeah, and then and then oh you mean Tristan you mean Kelly Anne and Tristan no separately?

Oh, okay, did well?

Yeah?

Yeah, he keeps hitting me with like because you would think like Drell's completely afraid of fights. Who answered all the questions. Kiki was killing it and she was definitely I think that you know, there's this this continuum for her, like with the rings, she was she was sucking it up, you know, doing it such a good job that I like to always, you know, recognize a queen when we're on here. Yeah. But yes, and then Tristan, I mean the Vatican City, like.

Yeah, that would have known that.

I'm thinking about all the places I've been to and I'm like, there's got to be a tiny, tiny city somewhere, but.

Clearly and he was sick on top of that like that. Yeah, that was impressive and key Kekey did nail it.

She's great.

I think the only thing Darrell said during that daily was help or mama or get me down or something like that.

He provided like I don't.

Want to win on I don't want to come back from here basically what he said. No, I think out of all things, I mean, being strapped to your partner hanging up there isn't too bad.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've actually loved the twist of being able to pull the Ripcord there in Kansas City. There actually is a ride at this place called Worlds of Fun and it was called the Ripcord and I used to want to go on it as a kid, and it was bungee jumped, like a bungee drop, but you would they'd like pull the cord and then you just drop and

Had to head about Challenge Trivia. Well, I did, I found out one question wrong out of sixty.

That I mean I got from the questions I was paying to Pegisu. The one I didn't get right was Vatican City. I hated that they sped it up and cut out some of the uessions. My guess is they must have been up there a long time, you know how like midway through they started just kind of showing us the answers.

Well, you know, who's on another planet? TJ.

Because there were so many parts to this, you could choose this, you could pick your own thing, like either way, like somebody was standing in their feelings hurt, and then you also were playing Roulette, which is just anxiety.

It was a lot. It was good.

I think it was Emily who said, like I studied trivia, I've prepared for this. I'm not prepared for Roulette. And that's like the whole point of Roulette is you can never be prepared for it. I think you might prepare for Roulette absolutely. I think my alien my person who's on another planet this week?

Not my alien?

Yeah, alien, other planet, same thing. Shout out to the aliens if they're listening. You know, who would I say is on another planet this week? I didn't get you know what, Okay, I'm gonna say it. And they didn't really do anything wrong, to be fair, they just still are kind of rguing me as of late, and we'll get into it later. But Danny on another planet this week?

My possible.

You know, Danny has his own ideas about what he wants to show to be does and he won't wants to get out of this thing, and he won't. He's really mad until listen, he's Danny wants to win. Danny's irksome, and he's thinking that Jordan is Jordan is the only thing standing in the way of him and his money.

Yeah.

But I'm trying to say if Kiki was his ex on there ooh would it be, or if we pick anybody else, because you know, I fuss with Kiki.

I think she's really funny. Yeah, this is no shade.

But I'm just saying, like if the shoe was on the other foot with Danny still.

Yeah, that's a good points. You know, I would love to know that's actually a really that's a very good take.

And he said that's a really good point. There was a couple of contenders for King and or Queen of the World, believe it or not. One of my contenders, And this is so the opposite of when we did us a Queen of the World is Sarah, because I love that she was able to put aside her feelings towards Bin and she'd be like, look, I'm checking on him. I want to make sure he's okay, Like so much respect for I liked that.

Side versus what I've seen a last couple of episodes that.

Get passionate side of Sarah. Yeah, like, I respect that so much about Sarah, but I show that we're still humans.

Yeah, I mean and honestly, but that's even as a human. I mean, it depends on how much I may have disliked the person. I mean, I'd like to think I'd still check on them, but I mean that's but who knows.

Yeah, who knows.

So shout out to Sarah for doing that. And then I think the real king and or queen of the world is Amber's baby, because Amber's baby was making political moves on the challenge without even being born yet. I mean, essentially, Amber's baby is the whole dynamic of the game. I respect it, like so much respect, and look how far they made it in the game. Others so of your babes can't say the same. So shout out to Amber's baby.

And bodies really are incredible. Women's bodies are incredible. Our strength and our ability to really like trust our gut when some shit is not right all us crazy like you always want to, but our guts are pretty damn on point.

Yeah, so yeah, I'm glad she's really in tune with her body on that and shout out to that you know that baby and the movie and yeah, I mean no, no, no, Like Amber's cool too, but she didn't get the King or Queen of the week.

It's her baby, Okay.

I just want to clarify, because that the baby's the one who made the power move.

So it's not like Amber's cool and all, maybe run her up, but.

It's it's the baby that gets the title of King or Queen of the week this episode. I'm excited though, to get to talk to Amber a little bit more about what it was like to find out she was pregnant on the challenge.

Can you even imagine? He said, like I know, and.

Then flying like thirty hours and that phone called a Chauncey because I know she was calling him and he was so excited and probably got all the cats on FaceTime. And if you've watched your Instagram, her cats are just all on her belly.

You just think so cute.

I'm excited to talk about that and just dive more into kind of what she's been up to, because a lot has changed in her world in the last you know, nine to twelve months. There's a lot that we can learn. So I'm really excited for us to dive in and have this conversation. And you guys are gonna, i'm sure, learn a lot from this too.

We're also going to.

Talk about TJ's wardrobe or maybe just do that now, shout out to him in the maroon blazer.

Like ever since.

TJ came back from that Lord ceremony, he's been wearing jackets. Double Agency did well too, he did, and that was more of a spy vibe.

I love the pea coat and the shit.

There too, But here he's doing blazers and pocket squares like okay, okay.

He's a gentleman. He's seasoned now and he maybe got a new stylist.

It is evolved. I actually send him a DM about it. I'm so proud of TJ. Look at you. This episode's gonna be great. So don't go anywhere. If you do, just take your podcast listening device with you, but grab a snack, and when we come back, we have an interview with Amber and her baby.

Well her baby's not born.

Yet, but but the baby's gonna be there by proxy, you know, So stick around and Anissa and I will.

Be right back after this.

So excited to have this guest or these guests, shall I say on the podcast today, Please welcome Amber and her unborn baby.

Hi, y'all, how are you?

How are you? How are you feeling well?

Uh? No, sleeping all the time, and I can like barely breathe. I feel like every breath like is my last. Besides that, I feel great.

That's how sleeping.

Sleeping is awful.

I have my three cats and Chauncey who like sleep peacefully and I just want to.

Oh it makes me so mad.

But I enjoy sleeping when I can get it, which is usually the end of the day because I'm so.

Tired, but almost im this is the home.

Stretch, you know, hopefully I'll I'll get some rest on the baby's here.

That's a joke.

Also turn into a comedian while you were pregnant, because most people, I mean, maybe you'll have like a good baby.

That sleeps through the night. You never know.

Yeah, with your temperament and Chauncey is I feel like maybe you'll wuk out.

I hope so fingers crossed.

I mean I feel like you have Chauncey, which is a built in night nurse. I feel like Chauncey baby and like, yeah, but.

While the baby was crying, I could see it.

Chauncey's doing great.

No, yeah, you know I can see that too. He's doing so well. He I feel like he's a little more nervous than I am.

Mm hmm.

It's just it's just so cute, like some of the things, like we've been getting baby clothes and stuff like that, and he texted him on the other day he was like.

Do we need to wash these?

And what do we need to do? Like he's just like he's on top of things and he's been so.

Like yeah, it's just like the little things.

But yeah, he's been he said, he's so nervous, but he's so excited.

And yeah, Like I don't know, just watching.

Him already, just like around my belly, I'm like, I can't wait to see you with your child as I love it.

Yeah, and the cats are going to be all over it too, because they're already in your belly.

Like you can see that, they can sense that.

But what I wanted to know, because you know, we watched this episode once you found out you were pregnant, I mean we'll talk about before that too.

Were you allowed to call Chauncey immediately?

No, So I didn't want to tell him till I saw him in person. Okay, yeah, because I didn't want to be like, I'm like, this is like my person, and I wanted it to be like one of those moments. Yeah.

I was like, yeah, it was eating me up.

I had to wait like days of flight everything, and I'm like, I want to tell him so bad, but I waited to tell him in person, which I think I like. I like because I got to also process everything by myself because it was a huge shock to me.

Yeah, but yeah, yeah, I waited to tell him a person.

How did you tell him when you told him in person? Like did you plan out something? Was at the minute you got off the plane?

Like how did you?

No?

I didn't plan out anything.

I actually waited like a day or so, like when I got home, I was like trying to like figure out how to even say it. He was at the gym, I was at home, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna just tell him when he gets some So I was like, sit down, I need to tell you something. And I think he thought I was something yeah, So I had his face like just he looked like, oh gosh, like this is bad news. And when I told him, like he just his mouth held on the floor like he but he smiled.

He hugged me like.

He was just so happy because we both like we've talked about kids, like and I know he's always wanted children and he's just my person, like you know, and I love him so much and I feel like the feeling's mutual.

So yeah, yeah, I'll see the feelings. It's going to be girls are going to be great parents.

But see, Chauncey has like such a childlike side, like he's so silly and he's so funny.

He'll be a great dad, I know.

But I really want to know when Ben and Tristan were on their deathbeds, they felt like, shit, did you think initially you had what they had?

One hundred percent. I thought I had what they had because me and.

Darrell and I were you know, let me tell you, I think I had what they had.

On top of being pregnant.

It was like diary out the but we are throwing up, had a fever, our vitals just were off and was everybody Yeah it was I have no idea like what was going on with my body? And I've been able to do things in the past sick. I feel like every season I'm somewhat sick, you know. So I'm like, I can push through and get this. I was not getting better. So when I felt like I wasn't getting better and I felt not just all the time I didn't have an appetite, I was like, there's no way

So at what point did you start thinking about going home? And like what was the process? Who did you first share this inclination with? Like at what point did you start thinking, Okay, I'm not getting better, I may have to pull myself out of this game.

Yeah.

I remember at one point talking to to Jody like and just being like what she was just aroused, Like I need to talk to you. She's just things like, you know, just her and Kelly An. I remember talking to them at one point and being like, I don't know.

Stay go until the wheels fell off, right exactly, because I thought that Ben was possibly gonna, you know, pop back up.

You never know in this game, Like he could have just popped up at the challenge.

Okay, So you guys didn't know that Ben was officially out. You didn't know. You thought, Okay, Ben's gonna still come back.

No, because I didn't know what my I remember talking to Sky at one point and just being like, I do not feel well at all. She's the only one I kind of opened up to about how I was feeling, and but I just didn't know what I was gonna do if I like I watched myself on this episode and I was like, do I stay?

Go I go? Do I stay?

Do I go? I was like in my head, just like because this was the only chance I got because once I feel like, you know, like if Tristan.

Was going to leave, that was my chance to go right right.

So I had And then when I when I heard Casey or Ben wasn't coming back, I'm like, wow, this.

Is my chance to also, like, I have more than one option.

So I was like, if if anything, I want to give my partner an amazing partner, which would have been great if he had Kellyan or Casey. So with that said, I was just once I heard that Ben wasn't coming back, I literally had to like make a decision in that moment, and I just decided to leave, which actually, I that hurt me so much because I was actually enjoying the season.

I felt like I had friends, I was having.

Fun is important to.

Yeah the most.

And I like, I listened to my body, Like I was just like, I've been sick, but i've I was just listen to your body. And then yeah, and I found out after I.

Was like, so did you who made you take the pregnancy? Well, actually have two questions before we get to that, and you find out after how long did it take for TJ to actually sign off and say okay? Because that's I don't know that we've really seen moves like this in the game, which, by the way, did you ever expect expect that you, your young child would become such a you know, political powerhouse in the challenge at such

Baby just made.

And how long did it take for TJ really to say like okay? Because I'd imagine the producers were kind of shocked, and TJ was kind of shocked, like, you know, what what do we do with this?

No, TJ was very like like that was my thing too. I was like, I don't I don't ever like giving up.

I like to just push myself.

And I was like when I was about to say, I was like, he's gonna make me, He's gonna be so mad at me.

Blah blah blah.

But the fact that I think that me too. Maybe just opening up about how it was feeling all week and just kind of like putting it out there beforehand. Maybe he was a little like more like okay.

Like I get it.

But he he stood there for a minute, and I think he saw that. Of course, Casey and I, like you said, both wanted to be there. But since it since I was giving you know, since I felt like Troy was not leaving, I felt I don't know, I felt like it was just the okay, was it was fine, Like that was just like my okay, Like it wasn't

No one can be mad at you for being pregnant. Yeah, like I'm gonna go take care of myself.

Well that yeah, yeah I didn't know, but just how sick. But yeah, also just for a lot of people I didn't know. Yeah, a lot of people were sick that week. So I think it was just one of those things where it's just like if you can't do it, like I understand, because.

Yeah, there's only so far you can go.

Yeah, at what point did you decide to take a pregnancy test then, Because at this point, at any point in your mind that you're getting sick, is it registering to you like there's a chance I could be pregnant or like did that have to be brought to your tension somehow? Like how did you decide let me just go ahead and take this pregnancy test?

Okay?

So I was in the hotel room for like a day or two, and I was like, listen, I don't I'm not getting better if anything, Like, if I'm gonna fly, I want to make sure I don't have something that I'm people can catch on the airplane.

You know.

So I was like, I want to see a doctor. And I did get like a to make this. Like I said, I was talking bananas all this, but I was just like, there's not been too too much information. But I was like, I had a period before I came, which I know what I thought was a period, so I have like a like a calculator or whatever. But it wasn't as long as mine usually are and how they usually are.

So when I saw a doctor, she was.

Just like, well, maybe it's not a period. It could have been this and that, like you know, blah blah blah blah. And I was like, Okay, my period was only like two days. I was like, it's usually like seven.

I forgot about that.

Oh my god. They're awful. Thank god I haven't had to have one in a while, but right because they are brutal. But no, I was just like I asked her. I was like, hey, can I like just take a pregnancy test because I have I should have already.

Gotten my period.

I'm guessing like I don't know, and I had one last month, but she was like, maybe it's stretched.

She'd tell me. She was like, this happens in the game.

It could be stressed. You're in a different country around differ people. I'm like, okay, So I wasn't going to do it, and then she was just like, we could do just a year and one right here. I was like, okay, just to make sure you know what I mean, I'm not you know, I don't know, like whatever. So I sat there. She was just like, okay, go peen in this cup. So I went peed in a cup and

I'm like, I don't know if that's a good snap.

Right.

Then she walks in there and she does another one.

She comes out and I'm in this hotel room with this woman I just met and she tells me I'm pregnant, and I'm like, I like, I just like took a breath. I started crying. We hugged because I didn't know how to process it. Like I was just like happy but the same but at the same time, I'm like I was just worried because you know, I didn't know. I didn't know what to hell Chauncey was going to fill.

I didn't know how the whole thing. You know, I didn't I didn't know. I didn't know how far along I was. Yeah, so, but no, I I was.

I was just nervous and I was excited.

There were so many emotions.

My mind would be racing.

I'm a litterate in my mind so much.

But what's crazy is I heard about this happening and they were like, well left, and I'm like seeing it.

Was like.

Then I totally understood it, because when you hear that, like you don't know what's going on. But I also didn't know you were pregnant, so I was like, damn, these people must have been really fucking sick, all right, but you did the right thing for yourself. And then like the stars totally aligned. I mean, maybe now Casey and trist And have a target on their back, but.

Maybe Casey and Troy, I mean Casey and Troy my bad. Yeah that's what I meant.

But you know what, like you get you got a gift, and then you gave them a gift, you know. So I feel like it was a really special moment that we don't get to see. I feel like there are still a human moments on the challenge that are still like happening like little bursts of light that it was so beautiful.

So I'm happy and multiple layers. I'm happy that they got to show.

I thought it was beautiful too, because there was you were giving the gift to your partner just the way and especially knowing that you didn't even know in that moment yet you were pregnant, right, Because I do feel like it might be easier to make none of it's an easy decision, but easier to make that decision if you had known, right like I knew you were pregnant.

You just knew you didn't feel well.

And so seeing you, though, make such a selfless act of I want to really, like a lot of people say, oh, I support my partner blah blah blah blah. You know, we had Ride or Dies last season, which is all about partnership, and here you're like, no, I want I want my partner to win. I want him to thrive, and I don't think I can be that for him. Here's an opportunity, like seeing you just so selfishly, selfishly give that moment, and it was such a beautiful moment.

It was like days later?

So I left, well, I left, I was in the hotel for a couple of days maybe it was like it was honestly, maybe like a day or two after I found out.

I was pregnant.

I had my last interview, and I haven't seen Troy since I walked away from him. So we came together for like our group interview, and it was so cute. Is if you notice, like I was wearing like pink and like this blue, but I didn't even pay attention to that, like this top.

And then Troy shows up in blue.

And we didn't even play. It wasn't even a plant. So it was like it was really funny. But when I when I got there, I was like the producer, no one even knew, Like.

My users didn't know, no one knew.

So do I share this? Do I know?

So I brought the pregnancy test with me just in case. I felt like just like being like.

Listen, this is this is what it is.

And so at the very end of the interview, after just sitting there in my mind just racing the whole interview, I'm like, Okay, I'm just gonna tell I'm just gonna just put it out there because you know. So I sat there and I remember telling Troy, and I felt like I was telling like Chaunty.

I felt like he was my baby daddy. I felt like, yeah, I was like, you know.

In that moment, I'm like, wow, I'm practicing right now from when I tell Chauncey.

But I remember telling.

Him and it was just like he the amount.

Of love that Troy just had for me.

And just respect and just that that I don't know, the attitude, like I just loved him so much in that moment for just like because I I didn't he was the only one I had told like he went and the fact that he kept it to himself. No one else knew about it afterwards, Like I have so much respect for that, for that guy, like he is just an amazing person. But yeah, I told him right after, and uh, I I don't know. It was just like I wanted to tell someone I didn't.

I mean, of.

Course, I know by the way, when you were like, I didn't pee on the stick, Like you're like, I.

Didn't on it.

Okay, it was just a beautiful moment. He did it there, because that was like him, there has to be painful. It's just not.

I think about that. I'm a little slow.

No, it was so funny. I was like, didn't give a ship. It was just like, yeah, no he did.

He was so grab it. Yeah, he was amazing.

I mean when you got home, were you like, damn, I missed the challenge or were you like, wow, I got this baby and this is my main focus.

You know what.

I did really miss it, just because, like I said before, it was like it's been so far like the way things are going with my favorite the season I've been on that when it comes to like friends and relationships and just feeling welcomed in the game.

So I did not.

Want to leave and then when I got home, I was so bummed, But it was like kind of bittersweet, you know, because I do want to break. It was I think it's time. It was time for me to take a break. I was like, this couldn't have been

End the season for me.

Yeah, even if I didn't get a win, it was it was a good way for me to like end just knowing that I felt what I felt walking away and how I felt walking away. So yeah, I'm bump, but I will you know, it's not the last of me.

I'm going to be back up.

Like I mean, is a political power player in the challenge. Okay, Okay, we need to take a quick break.

Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back after this. You also shared a lot this time. I know that we talked like during our reunion, and you open up about a lot of things. But I feel like there were some people you trusted in the house to talk about like opening up about autism and everything else. How did you even go about like discussing this with with people in the house.

And they in the game.

You know, I didn't it was making a huge deal of it.

I just know, Yeah, there was like a handful that I was.

You know, I was open up because I had just like gotten my final diagnosi like a week before I came on, and I was just like, I'm so like I felt finding like free and relieve, knowing that when people made me feel like there was something wrong with me, knowing that there was nothing wrong with me.

So I felt more part of the game.

Like I didn't feel like I had to like kind of like hide out, I do anything I could be open about it. Yeah, And so I was just like for me, I didn't know if I wanted to be open about it in.

The game or not.

So I remember talking to people being like I don't know if I should talk about this. I don't know if I should kind of keep it to myself. So I did open up and just ask a few people and talk to a few people, And it's just so nice to have like conversations in there that aren't related to the game, and kind of because it was so new to me to where I'm like, I wanted to talk about it, I wanted to get information, and I wanted to learn more about it, and you.

Couldn't really do that.

I couldn't. I couldn't do that in the game. So just having like those handful of trusted people made me feel good about, you know, just being there so that way, like I I was just like, yeah, I'm embracing this this person and this me.

That's a new me, but it's always been me. I'm trying to understand.

But no, I I it made me get out of my room more. It made me kind of like process things differently and like understand myself in the game. Like it's it's just a really weird I don't.

Know, No, I totally, I totally get it.

As you know, like I suffer from like panic disorder and anxiety and things like that. So going in the house, I'm like always in my head about like, am I doing this right to talk too much?

Do people think?

I'm like, I go, you know, a lot of us are are thinking that we are doing these things that no one else really notices. But yes, yeah, but I think over the past couple of years, you know, it's been great for people to like open up about their mental health and everything else, because it's not like we're a bunch of aliens. Like there are people that are going through It might not be the same thing that you're going through, but under that umbrella are still dealing

And I like and that's what I'm saying, even doing like interviews and stuff after and it's just like I'm still learning about all of this, and like I.

Want to say the right things.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or like you know, I don't like I want to be careful with also what I say, not being so educated yet on it.

So that was another thing.

It's just like I want to open up and I want to share like these parts of me, but at the same time, I'm still learning these parts of me because there are It's it's like, especially if you have the platform to to do that to where you can be a voice for others or just like help you know out there someone might need to hear that or they I've had people reach out to me be like I'm a twenty seven year old woman and I've been diagnosed and I'm so afraid to share my story because

But now I feel more comfortable.

It makes me feel good knowing that like me kind of just just throwing myself out there, putting it out there and just being okay with finally who I am is. Also it turned into more of a positive thing when I thought it was going to be something so negative.

So anytime I think people can live in their authentic truth, like when we look at some of the like sort of bad things that happen in the world, or the struggles or people kind of like lashing out or acting out, oftentimes when you get to the root cause it's because that person felt like they couldn't they either didn't know themselves or they couldn't really be themselves authentically right, like they were worried they'd be judged or maybe they had been judged in all these things.

And so I think.

Regardless of whatever differences anyone has, it's like it's always a win when you can kind of when you just feel like there's the space to truly be who you are and both explore that and express that. Also done such a great job. I know you say you're still learning,

Hotter, you're cold.

It's more like you have a little bit of this and a little bit of that and a little bit of this, and that makes up your own rest secret recipe, right right, what that looks like for you?

Right?

And that was even just so insightful and something that like, I feel like so many people don't know how in the last year you've gone through significant change. And then we'll tap into your superpowers of any predictions you have for the game and thoughts of kind of play now that you stepped out, But how you know you've gone through so.

Much, a new baby on the way with.

Your significant other Chauncey p Jordan, as well as this diagnosis.

You know, what have.

Been some of the lesson like maybe one or two of the greatest lessons you've learned now in that in the last year, given all of.

These lessons, Oh, I don't even.

Know, you know.

For me, I think personally like I can just like put.

This out there.

I feel more now myself than I've ever felt. I feel extremely I like I haven't been this happy in a long time. And I think if if anything, like I was trying to.

I don't even know how to put this.

I was trying to be someone else to make others feel comfortable when I felt so uncomfortable. And if there was a lesson I could like that I've taught myself is to just fuck everyone else absolutely, like like I finally like, yeah, I get to say that, like I don't care what anyone thinks anymore.

I don't. I'm I'm one of these people.

That just care way too much how someone else feels, how they think, like people please their Like I just want everyone to just be happy and feel you know this, I'm happy if someone else is happy, but like me, my unhappiness and me feeling the way I felt the past while for the longest time, and it's not even in the game, just even in real life, you know, it wasn't okay. Uh so, yeah, like I just have to sit, you know, put both middle fingers up and say fuck all, y'all.

I felt so if I hadn't lacted one lesson and something it was, it's just to kind of like not care so much.

Yeah, And that's the one thing I can I can put out there, because I think I was putting way too much on myself and then also like reading too much into things that I shouldn't. Like, I'm also at fault about doing things that just weren't It was just unnecessary. It was just like like I'm too in my mind, you.

Know, right, And the truth of it is is that just those who care don't matter, and those who matter don't care.

Right, Like guys who love you, chaunce.

P Jordan, you could do pretty much anything, and that man, love the heck got to you. Your friends and family love, and even a lot of people who watch the show love and adore you, and so they don't care, you know what I mean, like be you. They love you for that. And then the ones that want to critique everything or think they know things about you even though they don't truly know you, like they don't matter anyway.

Yeah, I know, And I had to, like I really had to learn that. And I'm like sitting there looking at myself like I'm in my mid thirties and I'm gonna learn that like this late in life. Like I'm happy I finally learned, but I wish the younger me would have learned that way like you, like so long ago, and I feel like life might have been a little easier for me. But yeah, I'm happy I know that now because it's something I've kind of.

Like implanted into my everyday life.

And life just seems easier, you know.

Yeah, it's so weird.

I'm like, Wow, what a relief, Like I should have been doing this a long time ago, but yeah, life just seems easier. But I am thankful for relationships that have came out of this. And I do love the game, like I don't ever want something to make me walk away.

I love it so much.

I love traveling, I love the challenges, the politics and the social part of it are there. It's a little hard, but other than that, like I like to compete and I like to you know, I enjoy the little dysfunctional family that we all do have. But yeah, I am.

You said life has gotten easier in experiencing like now that you know these things about yourself, a place where life didn't get easier in you having these revelations, mainly you being pregnant and leaving the game would be the challenge house because you sort of caused whether intentional or not. You definitely I think had some people shaken in their boots when you created the Super pairing of basically double

Yeah? What were your what were your thoughts when you watch that pairing?

That was? It was?

It did cross my mind in my head, I'm like, but at the same time, like I already knew the badass Casey was. You know, she's like and how so great she is at the game.

So and also knowing Troy, he might.

Be tiny, but he is so mighty and he is great at everything. So I was like, that is that is a team you have to watch out or so I felt like walking away. Even if they did have their backs against the wall or the whole house against them, they were still gonna do great. But I, you know, I just I'm kind of nervous though. Yeah, I didn't expect and I don't I don't know, I don't know what to think about this. And my thing is is like I just wanted I just wanted my partner to have a partner.

Something like I'm pregnant, y'all, like bye, And then it's like you dropped a bomb walked away, which was totally cool because like it was unintentional, so unintentional. But now, like you know, like I said before, you gave them this gift. Now let's see what they could do with it. I'm excited to watch what they get.

Me too.

I am giving the Challenge twist we didn't know we needed, like like the Challenge Baby edition. You know, like when Rider dies, there was a twist where you got like one partner would go and we didn't know that they were coming. They were still hanging around and came back. And when Anissa still never forget I'm right it. I was when she did her like slow walk intro in in her head and like such a cool g when you walked in as a surprise, like coming into the game.

It's hilarious.

But this was the twist and the thing we didn't know that we needed that really is going to shake up the house. If you could have given them advice for the rest of this season, this new pairing that you made. What advice would you give Troy and Casey as a team.

I will just take a look.

I have no miss girl, I would have no advice to give them because I don't know, like being just being in the game. Like, I don't know what advice to give those two, Like I feel like they're already good at the game, so you know, if they've made it to finals, they both won. What advice can I give two people like that like that are just know how to play the game and play it so well and have won a final, can make it to finals and are just great.

Now you underestimating yourself again, man, multiple not the people that are still there not anything about it. I mean I get that, but Troy is new to the American version. Still the experience Amber has one thousand.

I just I mean I could probably give Troy advice, but like and if anything.

Like you know, Troy, My thing was Troy.

He was he kind of he made me and then we're kind of like the same person because he was a little soft, smoking, quiet, didn't like to shake up the house, didn't want to speak out, so us being paired together, I was having to do like, Okay, fine, I'm.

Going to vote you in. You're going to go in to that.

Yeah, So I I if anything, I wish I could kind of like rub that off on him, which I think Kelly Ann kind of rubbed off on me, like I feel like I kind of channeled my inner Kelly Anne this season.

It is wild whole thing.

Everybody is really I don't know where to go with this game, so it doesn't really matter.

I feel like it.

Doesn't and anything can change, like because everyone. The thing is is you're working with people that are on different other teams.

Like I went in the sea in with you.

Know, me and Casey having like kind of like a clean slate and walking in and just being like being on a good page. And I don't think people expected that. So people kind of sometimes we're trying to turn us against each other and just because they thought that we still had like this this beef or like whatever, this this weird thing going on.

So people would come and talk.

To me about Casey and wanting to go say, wanting to say Casey's name, and I'm like, I cannot do that.

Yeah, Yeah, that's cool to hear that you guys were able to kind of like come back together.

And you know, do you feel like.

Some of the people that maybe there was friction in the past misunderstanding do you feel like most of those relationships have thought since you know, there's been this sort of better understanding of you and your superpowers and who you are and.

What that looks like.

Well, you know a lot of people that know this season that I that I was you know, on the spectrum at all or had out that was it not even I don't even think Casey.

Like I didn't really I didn't really talk about it like that. I'd probably have said something like once or twice, just like us just having conversations in the room without cameras. It was kind of like, you know, like this isn't that, but I feel like going into it, it's one of those things where it was a new game, it was something different.

It was you know, it wasn't the flagship show like see you know a flagship.

Where we It was just like this is going to be unfamiliar, Like what are we walking into.

We didn't know what to expect.

So it's like you kind of just kind of have to if you want to make it to the dinner as far as you can kind of just leave the bullshit at the door and kind of move forward. And so I think this was this season, especially with Kasey and I was kind of one of those things like it made me really just be like, let's see if we can trust each other, you know what I mean. It was kind of like our like are like all right, like we're doing this and let's see, let's see.

You know.

I'm happy Branch.

Yeah, and Mabby.

Didn't have to get to the point where it got like ugly or like I had to say, anyone her Dame or anything like that would have hated having to do it, like if it got to the very end.

And that would have to have been the point.

But yeah, I was kind of happy to kind of just like squash things and kind of like not.

Think about it and I just watching back.

I and just knowing that Casey would come and talk to me Gabe and talk about the game and like we talked, you know, there's gay play there.

I was like, wow, we don't do this, you know.

Yeah.

So it was it was cool to like see and to work with her and to finally have this new experience in the game with someone I've played every season with just knowing but like I said, just going into this not knowing.

What was going to be thrown our way since it was new.

Yeah, and we weren't working with people that.

Usually we are, you know, or what the teams that you were gunning for this season before a little baby p Jordan came into who who were you and Troy the soft the team soft spoken for you guys low key targeting to just like get out next.

Honestly, we just it was more so who we were protecting the target. It was kind of like for me, like I walked in and I I, Me and Iah were really cool. Kelly Ann and so those and Jody. So those were the girls that I was just like, okay, cool, like I got you in then I had and then I'm like, well on, So anyone else was just like besides Casey of course was just like all right, cool, like I don't care to say their name if I have to, But I also had to look at it

Say y'all's name.

So like it was just people like that, like if I'm not working with you, I'm kind of we're kind of working against each other. But honestly didn't care to say people's name this season because I like the whole like in your face, you know, or we're sitting there and you just say it, Like I feel so relieved where I don't people know that I am saying the name, like it makes it so much easier for me in the game.

Do you feel like there was less backstabbing in that way because people weren't secretly typing in or in putting a name or do you feel like it was equally as kind of you know, Caddy, I feel.

I feel like it was equally kind of like. But I feel like some my thing was is just people not knowing, Like Banana's like, uh, you know, with his his like he had no idea that gonna help like that. And I'm sitting here, you know, I love Bananas and I feel like he's been a great person to me in the game. But I'm like, I didn't care who went home, Banana, Jordan, either one of y'all could have went home, just because like, I'm.

Not trying to run with you in the final.

Like yeah, end of the day, like, ye go, you can go, Like I don't really care.

I like I like Mom Amber. Mom. Amber is a whole new Amber, I know.

I mean, I feel like she's always been in there, yeah she has, but now she's just coming out to play because who cares. Yeah, the only thing that matters is you know what you got to do for you and your partner at this point. Yeah, and you already did what you had.

To do, right, And I learned that this season.

I love this season for that. I mean, I do at Tori's my best friend. I get it, like trying to protect people. But I also love like fuck it, like you don't know what I'm going to do or where I'm going to go, and you know, Devin will tell you first hit. Like I played like that all the time, right because I don't know anybody anything.

Yeah for sure to have my back.

So that's yeah, that's how I felt like going into EARL. I didn't owe anyone anything this season because I've never had a solid alliance.

So it's just like it makes my game. I know, it makes my game so much easier.

So I'm like, I love going in honestly not having numbers sometimes because yeah, like what are you going to say if I say your name?

Like you know what I mean?

You have you said my name? You never wanted to play with me? You like there's something that you've done to hurt my game, and you're mad because I'm saying your name.

So I did not care, Like, but there were.

People in there that I was getting to know or I got close to that, Like I said that came to me like Kelly Anne and Nia and and Jody and or you know Drell and we're like, hey, like we got you, like let's work together, like and so it made me happy knowing that people came to me this season and we're like, I want to work with you because I.

Don't ever get that. I'm like, I'm like, what is this?

Like you know what I mean?

Like so, but no, I definitely feel I'm it is a bitter It was a bittersweet season for me.

I wish I had more time there.

I always have this moment of discovering that baby P Jordan exists on camera like that, or like being able to share it with the world.

I didn't think about it like that. Yeah, that's cool.

You'll be able to show them when they're old enough, and when they get into the challenge, you'll be like, look, you come from a line of power movers. You were making moves when you were in the womb. Now get in there and win. No right, T j will be on a walker, you know, with like assisted hearing, still hosting the challenge.

Your baby will be up there crown the next winter.

I hope it's it's shirt just says baby P Jordan on it, and you know, really with the baby P Jordan's real, that's we're gonna call it baby because we don't know the gender yet.

They're keeping secret so we're gonna go baby Pete Jordan.

I feel like mama, And are you cool with us calling it baby p Jordan?

You can't say whatever is wait wait are you telling people at the bridal shower?

I mean the baby shower. I'm sorry, my brain no.

So a lot of people the baby show already know. Okay, but it's just we're not sharing it with like the word baby pe Jordan is here. Yeah, until we got our little our baby or baby little Palmer, whatever you want to call it. Until the baby's here, we're gonna we kind of want to keep it to ourselves because it's just been like it's been, we haven't shared too much of the pregnancy journey.

Yeah, yeah, that's your journey.

Yeah, you thought of glowing and it's just like dress and it was just baby.

I know, baby, like look, oh my god, it's all big.

I know, it's so much bigger than the reunion. It was just like it was like a baby now. It was like a bloat baby at that point.

Yeah, chipotle baby baby boobs and boobs and baby. I felt like I had to tell people because I'm like, yo, like this gut is popping and like I don't want to.

Be in your sweatsuit, you were safe because it kind of cut off like yeah, yeah, this is but in your dress, I was like, boobs are boobing right now?

Right? You always had you always, I mean, you have a great body, but like.

Some boobs, but they are really booming. Yeah yeah I was. I was.

You know what's so funny too, So every time I was saying it, like in the house, I have to do this out there. Oh, I got compliments on my boot boobs all season, Like when at Global, I'm like, oh, okay, like my boobs are like I never caught compliments like that, Like all the girls are saying I love your boobs and I'm like thanks, And then I kept saying like, man, I don't feel good. I would be like saying that THEO goes. THEO would always say you're pregnant, THEO.

Pregnant, You're pregnant.

Yeah yeah.

So the I was like, THEO, don't put that on me.

I get I would tell him, do not put that on me. I'm in this game. I'm trying to win this money, Like, don't put that on me. And he was like, no, you're pregnant. I was like so so many times he would tell me that to where he got in my head.

I'm like, am I pregnant? Okay, you know what I mean?

Not THEO predicting the future?

Right, He was like, I can tell I know, yeah, he's he's he definitely predicted that one.

So THEO would always tell me, he would always.

Throw out there that I was pregnant, but no, in my mind, like because I was on birth control, I remember switching, like I was in the pros of switching, like what I like what I was on because I was taking it in the house like this season. Yeah, and so I was not wanted to call there, I know, I know, Like so in my mind, I was just thinking, like this is like the doctor said, I'm probably just stressed and like, you know whatever.

But I was just like, I'm taking my my pill on time, like I'm good.

I'm trying to do everything to premit myself not to get pregnant, you know what I mean.

So, yeah, its fireproof.

I have to throw this out there, Nissa, James is the reason why the baby's on the way.

Here's why.

Yeah, the past right, James, Anissa's best friend, James, who is now thank you, sir for a Nissa is now one of my closest friends out here in LA was like one day called me and Chauncey and was like because we had to add up, Like when did this happen?

Like you know what I mean?

It was like James caused us. When night was like let's go get spooky. We got spooky one night, we got lit, we got so drunk and cause of James. Yeah, He's like we gotta get spooky and me and Chauncey do not get like that, like at all. So like we it got to the point where we me and Chauncey woke up on the floor at our house with like food everywhere. We had made like pancakes, chicken nuggets, like French fries, like hot Pocket was like.

It was a spooky, spooky night. Yeah.

So we were like by my doctor telling me like when I conceived, I was.

Like, oh, it's James fault.

It's James a baby.

That's hilarious, James, this baby daddy number two.

That's fine.

I mean it's a very James thing to be like one or two cocktails and then no, he was he was dead.

On the spooky James is like you are having we are having fun tonight. James kept like just giving us cocktails like it was it was so.

Shadow like, James shout out to James, We're totally gonna have a spooky night when I get there.

But I probably wanted to pregnant.

Yeah, you never know, maybe maybe even James have a little bit.

We talked about it, but I don't think James James is ever going to actually like do it.

Do it.

We'd have to, we'd have to get a doctor involved.

Well, we can get it. What do you call those things?

A turkey baster?

Yeah, spok the only way.

Oh my god.

But no, thanks to James, I have a blessing on the way, like because I was just like I went, I didn't even It's just mind blowing to me that I didn't know I was pregnant, like or I didn't feel pregnant in them because like I was sitting there doing things like it was just little things that made me feel like, oh, maybe it's just as virus or whatever's going around with them.

But it makes sense because you weren't in your normal environment.

I feel like, yeah, I would have sensed it if you were in at home doing your normal routine, you'd be like, this is off, but you were doing none.

Of those things.

Yeah, I felt fine.

Amber.

It has been so fun having you and baby p Jordan here. For those who want to follow along more for your journey and baby peas Jordan's Baby pe Jordan's journeys, where can they follow you on social?

Just my name at Amber Bortra.

Jordan on Instagram. I'm just kidding.

Yeah, yeah, Instagram like whatever, I'm just out there.

Just type in my name you'll find me.

Ooh, I love that.

She's like, just google me and baby Pete in the power moves and thank you so much for just for being you. There's there's no other way to say that. Thank you for being you. We'll be back in the game when you're ready, but until then, you have this excite being super exciting and chat both of your baby daddies and.

And all the cats.

Yeah cats, Oh my god, I'm like, I want so oh you want? You need to come out here, ANDSA, you need to come coming on the twentieth perfect if.

I don't come out and Sam, Yeah.

Oh well, I I appreciate you, ladies. It's been nice to chat and I hope to see you in the future. On a future season after this baby out.

Yes, yes, you all the love and hugs, and thank you for making the time to chat with this too, because we know you got a lot going on, like you need to put the grip together, okay.

To take a dam again, I know, right, Oh my god, I'm so ready. All right, ladies, so bye bye, all right bye go day you too.

That was a great, great intimate view at Amber's life. I'm so happy that she came on and really opened up to us about everything. So kudos to Amber and good luck with everything.

Yeah, that was so great. I'm glad that she came by to talk to us.

Love getting to check in with Amber and all these cool new chapters that are happening in her life. For those who want to tap into the cool new chapters in a niece's life, where can they find you?

On social There's nothing new going on over here, But if you want to check it out, it's a Nissa MTV on Instagram, It's a n E E s a MTV. That's the only place because I deleted Twitter, like I told you guys, and now I don't know my password, so not you don't know the past, I don't know the password, so I'm out, so I don't know what you're tweeting, and if it's negative, I don't care because I can't see it.

And you know what, it's great for your mental health.

Take I encourage everyone to take a break, but just keep listening to the podcast though, So thank.

You absolutely, and I can see what you write. You can tweet me on Twitter, although I won't have a blue check by the time this airs thanks to Elon's new policies. You can find me at Devin Simone on Twitter. You can also find me at devinsimone dot com. That's where you can find all my socials. You can find me on Instagram at Devin Simone, and you can find me on Amazon my storefront, come hang out. I do lives and stuff and Simone with an eye you forgot, yes, ma'am.

Yes, yes, Lisa, we read lines and minds and if you liked this episode, please rate and review us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and tell a friend, tell everyone all about us, Tell.

Everyone except for the villains on this season of Love Is Blind, And then catch an all new episode of The Challenge World Championship Wednesdays on Paramount Plus.

And we will see you back here next week for a brand new episode of MTV's official Challenge podcast

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