Feeling Used w/ Moriah Jade

Happy Holidays.

Hi guys, it's Stevin Simone. Did you like my Santa Foys?

Yes? And this is Daveon Rogers. I am not an elf or reindeer.

Oh I FTV Official Challenge Podcast tens the season France.

Tends the season tests.

This season to be messy.

L L LA girl. This episode this is how you know you're in the middle of the season. It gets wild. So much happened. So first we have the challenge called Skyball. The winners that came out on top was the Orange Team. They did their thing. Jay looked like a great leader up there. So then the Orange team votes in Kyland, even though some of Kylan's alliance was in fact on the Orange things. So Kylin thought he was gonna be safe. Nope, not at all. And then the House votes in James

Girl, What an episode? What an episode? To be clear, I don't like Darrell's beard. Cut it off, you don't.

I think it balances out the ball head so well and hit it shaped up. He looked at it all.

His wife love it if it ain't none of my business. But if she don't like it, cut it off, Cut it off.

Hey, looks good. I thought he looked great, but you said he's one of the.

Most men to ever play this game. Absolutely, I stand firm on there. Absolutely, there you go. With all respects to his wife. I was gorgeous too, of course.

I definitely send on that. Yes, absolutely, we love Darell. What were your thoughts, what were your initial feelings in this episode?

Oh my goodness.

Okay, so in this episode, first of all, the skyball could never be me. I don't like things that spinning circles. I don't like things that spining soul. So when that ball first detached and they start spinning in that circle, I was like, let me off, let me off.

And I'm just watching an episode. I said, let me off.

I would have been at the bottom within the ree collecting the damn balls because I just couldn't face.

I'd have been on the other side kicking them off.

Yon been like, they've only doing right.

But yeah, that kind of threw me for a loot.

Watching Jay in this challenge was absolutely amazing, Like he took control, as he always does.

He took control. He climbs up there and he just start throwing them.

In and I'm like, this is classic ja like he's showing out this season.

He was very proud of the way he's showing out this season.

Absolutely, yeah, agreed. So then who ultimately gets your time out for this week? And then who gets your.

Out this week goes to Kylin.

And I'm going to say this, and all of my Big Brother watchers are going to understand why I say this.

Kylin is a thief. Okay.

This funeral was stolen from one of the greatest Big Brother players ever, and it is called Dan's funeral.

This guy named Dan was up for a.

Nomination to be sent home, and so he came up with this whole strategy to create this funeral in order to try to save himself and to get the people back on his side. Right.

Of course, Dan did it flawlessly.

Kylin pulls it off flawlessly too, because people started, you know, smiling and stuff. He was still wanting regardless, but people started smiling and stuff. It was a great way to get the people back on his side. But I know a thief when I see a thief, Kyla, I know a thief when I see a thief. But yes, I'm gonna go ahead and put you in time out for not being original okay, and.

Less we not forget the Great Challenge Funeral on twenty fourteen aka Ta may or the Whigs Funeral because see the funeral was done first on the Challenge if we're gonna if We're gonna go there. But good point because I didn't know that. As a big Brotherwaxtion, I thought it was funny, although I thought he did Melissa dirty by being like later rest of my relationship, like dang girl, he's she's still on the plate, like they should go.

I don't know how.

Right that is. Wild. I think my time out for this week has to go to you know, I don't actually, no one really made me that, mad, I guess. If anything, I'm frustrated. I'm watching this episode and I'm frustrated by Mariah just because I feel like she's riding harder for someone than what we see as writing for her. And I feel like she's putting it all out there and putting herself at risk, and that's the thing that sort of makes me nervous, Similarly how we saw Raven earlier

James, who's your gold star, but go far of the week, it's also going to Kyland because baby, you'll beat Drell. Okay, that has nothing to do that, And I too, like Zarel, who is one of.

The ghats of the goats of the Goats of the Ghosts.

And so to walk away not only also saving ten thousand dollars like take your cast members, Joe welcome.

Saving them ten thousand dollars, but then also.

Saying that you beat Dereil that and having that under your bill you had beat Zreil.

So he definitely gets my goal star this week.

Absolutely props to Kylin for that. I'd have to say my gold star for this week. Also shout out to the periwinkle shirt that TJ wore during the daily challenge. You looked good. I also liked the black button down, would have paired it with a different pant in the elimination. Now my gold star has to go to the Orange team.

I am so excited about this interview. Oh my goodness.

This person has been the talk of our podcast, the talk of the season, and the talk of the vents. Apparently, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to give it up for miss Mariah.

Thank you for coming to hang out with us.

Hey, I'm ready. I'm ready to spill the tears. I'm sticking the best.

Somebody's sick of somebody because they are going down.

I know, I know, I'm getting freaking ripped to shreds from every angle. I'm like, dude, what the whatever? Thank God, I don't care.

Well, why don't you care? Because it looks like you care, like we could.

See during Oh, during filming, of course, I cared, are you kidding me? Like, well, do I get into that right now? Should I get into it?

Yeah? Get into whatever, get into whatever.

So during filming, Oh my god, I was beating myself up about it. I was crying, like all the time. I was calling my mom crying. I would, I would stay up at night, Michelle would talk to me. I felt so guilty. I felt so bad.

What did you feel guilty about specifically, or like, what were you upset about?

Okay, So this there's a huge controversial thing. I see lots of different comments and people, you know, staying their opinions. I mean, I've seen, Devin, I've seen your opinion. I saw a little clip that you said I could have called I should have called him or told them. But from my point of view, it's like, if I know, first of all, I knew that if I called him, production would eat it up and that they would post

Did you ever think that other people would tell like given because we also heard from guests that have been on the podcast that it wasn't even just you connecting feeling like you had a connection with James and like vibing on that, but that there were even like there was like a song in the house or something making fun of bananas. So where did that?

I was not a part of that. They tried all, you know, anyone who's saying every single person on that cast sang that song. Every single person besides I think Michelle, everyone else gave in once and they sang that song. I never sang that song.

Who started it?

I'm pretty sure James or Jay one of them. One of them did start it. And you know, it got to a point like when they would say it, I would get really pissed off because you know, it's already one thing that I'm hurting someone's feelings, and then on top of that, everyone else is making a joke out

Parts of those are true, though I've watched the show continue.

But the fact is, like, if you're woman, a woman like this is before I did anything. If you see the guy that you're with on a show like sucking girls toes, kissing them with pasta, flirting, you wouldn't like that. And that's a that's a that's a real thing, that's not a reality TV thing, and it's a thing of respect.

So is that before or after you posted the I'm because I think Day was the one who saw it initially that you posted a picture saying I'm yeah, go ahead, Day, and.

I think you were wearing a buy the So I'm not sure, but you posted and you was that you were single?

Oh oh yeah, that's during that time. I mean I've always I've always been single. But at that time I was done talking to Johnny because he didn't know that though, because he was filming, he didn't have his phone, he didn't have his phone nothing. I was done because how could you leave for how could you leave for a show and not talk to me?

So could it be true that then? Because I hear you on that, so then could it be true though? That then? Because he did find out about that post in the house. So could it be true then that his whatever nonsense on how civillains came after or after seeing that post and you sort of announcing.

I filmed that later on in filming. And from the initial start. I remember, I didn't watch a show, but I see tweets because my timeline is like that, and it's it was a tweet of him saying right off the bat that he's like, oh, I fell in love twice, So right from the get go he was ready to pursue that type of thing, you know what I mean?

Like he so was it in retaliation from your post?

I didn't post that at that time.

So you're saying you made the post post while he was away filming.

Yes, but I didn't post that right when he went there, and right when he started filming. That was during filming. That wasn't the beginning of filming, so he already had this initial thought. And then on top of it, if you know that and you feel that, why would you send me flowers? And then when I come back, why would you lie to me and tell me nothing happened and that I wouldn't huh.

I think we want to know what made you post on single. What made you post that?

Because how dare him? Like, go on this show, we argue, and then you go on the show and you just don't talk to me, like you say nothing to me. You just go. Imagine Imagine you or your boyfriend leaves for a show and he says nothing to He just leaves.

Wait, so you guys were boyfriend and girlfriend.

You weren't giving you guys a scenario. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend. And you know what, he will say the same thing now because before he was telling people that I was his literal girlfriend, and then he changed it to we're just casual. I'm giving you guys a scenario. I was never He never said, Mariah, will you be my girlfriend? Ever? Right? And he knows that. He even got upset at me one time because someone asked if we were dating, and I said dating meants boyfriend and girlfriend.

So no, I just wanted to get clarity that before Johnny went on the show, he cut you off.

He didn't got you. Yeah, he got upset. He got upset, and he just didn't talk to me. He just didn't talk to me. And then he confused me because then he sent me flowers, right, and.

Then hours before or after your post after Oh see, okay, that makes sense, Okay, And.

Yeah, so he sent me those flowers and then he told me he was thinking about me the whole time in there and nothing happened, and when it goes back, I'm not going to be upset about anything. And he

Like no, they do show you feeling bad about it, like they definitely, which is part of the reason why I had the perspective that I had, is that you clearly have a con Like you clearly cared, yeah, and you weren't like, oh screw it or whatever, right, so like they show you know, like cared.

Yeah, I mean I still care. I listen, I don't care about the what people are saying is what I mean. But I still do care because I really do, like whatever whatever's happening, because you know, now he's his ego is hurt. He's hurt, and now he's doing things and acting out in a way, you know, talking about me. Although you don't do it online, you still do it.

You guys ever talk about it outside? Okay, so wait before we get to that piece, and then we'll talk more about the game because a lot happens this episode, but did so after he gets out of House of Villains, you guys start spending time together again, and correct me if I'm wrong, right, you guys start spending time together again. You I think they even show earlier in the season you mentioned you guys were hanging out days before you flew out for the show. Two questions, did you know

No, he didn't tell me anything. Actually, I facetimed my mom and I because I was, you know, I was beating myself up. I was like, Mom, I feel really bad, and she goes, oh, my gosh, your sister was just playing Fortnite. He was playing Fortnite with my sister and my cousin. And I told my mom. I was like, we'll tell them not to play with them anymore because I feel so bad, and you know, I want to

And so when you guys, so you guys are like hang out, you're in the house instead of that, have you spoken to him since?

No, he hates me. He hates me, and you know, I do feel bad. I feel bad as as far as like I'm I'm not hurt, because I already had. I was already questioning because of you know, personal things that have happened that I don't have. You know, I don't want to share in here, but I already had. I already had doubts about things sometimes, you know, but then I would like be like, Maria, you're wrong, like don't feel like that, and I would push that back and I'd be like it's fine.

Because this was a long off and on thing with you guys, right like we saw you guys in Ride or Die. This is what over a year of like this kind of off and on yes, up and down.

Yes. And I was very private about that, and so is he, but you know it kind of like it hurts my feelings coming from him, for you know, I saw he tweeted to Wes about saying like, oh, people are using my name for Klau and it's like it's like Johnny, like every time that me and you were together, I would post and you would purposely post to make sure people knew I was with you. I never did that. He took it. He I posted a picture on my bikini and he put my bikini and it took the

So let's just say that there was a possibility that Johnny Wirt to hear this podcast, right, You guys haven't spoken, like, no communication whatsoever. Is there anything you would want to say to him, even via podcast?

Just that I'm sorry for hurting his feelings. You know, I really am sorry, and I wish I did it a different way, and it was, you know, between I was, I was I liked James in the House and I felt really guilty about that. Just that I'm sorry, but also like how could you be so hard on me when you did these things to me too? So it's like, you know, like you you're purposely making it hard on me and you're just focusing on yourself, and like, what

How do you feel about James now? But you mentioned I really like James in the house. Are you guys still together or like, because obviously we don't know what happens. You guys are both still in the house, so don't get don't you know, But in real life, are you guys still a thing? Did you go visit hit? Like, what's what's going on with so?

Me and James we literally talk like almost every day. We talk on the phone for like a few hours. We catch up. But in reality he lives bro he lives in London and so far and like, yes, he'll come here and he'll hang out, but it's really hard to you can't make anything progress when you live so far. It's it's just too long of a flight. But do I really care for James and I like think he's a great guy. Yeah, and no, me and me and.

Him are good. Did you guys even try it all outside of the house, because obviously it seems like you guys have chemistry and we see you in this episode ride so hard for him at taking which we're gonna get to. So did you at least kind of give it a chance or was it in the house sort of discussed that Hey, we're not gonna kind of go beyond.

So kind of in the house we're like, we'll see what happens after this, and he's like, well, it's just a flight away. But I kind of knew, like you could. You know, you know, when when you're in a house, you know if things are gonna work or they're not gonna work. I knew they were not gonna work. And I feel like maybe he knew that too. But we if we listen, if we lived in the same state, like he would be like my freaking bff, we would

You said, bff, girl, not your man.

Listen, I really care, you know. I take the he was very like slow in the house. They might have been a little rapid, but bro, he's.

Yeah, girl, definitely a little rapid.

On the show, he's like a big teddy bear, Like they don't even show how cute he actually is and how funny. No one saw the humor. I was like in the beginning, I tried not laughing at his jokes. I wouldn't look at him. He'd be like, come over here. I would pretend I didn't hear, like I tried.

Yeah, you when you got on the pod you said, or like when we were first kind of like getting started, you were like, oh, I have so much juice, which I take to mean tea of stuff that didn't air in like behind the scenes stuff. What can you share with us? Like, yeah, what what are the things that we didn't know or didn't get to see?

Okay, so I put notes down, Okay, so okay, so oh I didn't put them in order to look okay, So okay. The first thing, the first thing we see is Colleen saying that I'm her number one target, right, And that's just funny because bro, I never said I'm working with you, like, and every time she talks about me and my alliance, I think that it's really hard

Yes, what were your feelings about Michelle because we see her repeating this sort of we see it in a couple episodes, but certainly in this one where she feels like in some of the other girls in the alliance you just mentioned, like Nourice Olivia, feel like James maybe pulling you down, like sort of shifting your focus or that you're no you were working hard to Yeah, how do you feel about watching that?

Well? These listen these girls know, like, how how am I working against the alliance? If I'm if I'm promising the people that I made promise to, I'm not. I'm not crossing them. I'm not crossing the girls. Just because they have their own separate alliances doesn't mean that I have to fall in line with that. And it became hard because you felt like if you didn't fall in line, everyone was going to attack you. But like their alliances, how cook, I didn't like that because my alliance didn't

In the game double standard?

Yeah, yeah, it's because I knew, bro, I knew I was lower on this pecking list of almost everyone besides like Michelle. You know, I just I'm pretty sure that you know, last episode, people in my alliance wanted to throw me in, some of the girls that I made promises to, And at that moment in time, I was like, I really like, why am I I'm I'm fighting. I was baddling my my promise and my heart because I didn't want to work with the people that I was

My name, who do you think Michelle's We know that Jay's her number one guy obviously, but who's her number one girl amongst this alliance?

Me like we I honestly, I am pretty sure because listen, me and me and Michelle had this talk before she came on the season. I knew she was coming on the season before a lot of people. Actually, some people got upset that she didn't tell her and like, I know she had a lot of people to make promises to you. I know she's really close to Olivia. I know she's really close to Nourice. But we had an agreement Olivia and Nourice for each other's number ones, and

Okay, so you tried to like divide it up equally sort of in a way where yeah, and each one of you is protecting one of them. Yeahs a number one.

They're not showing me how close me and Michelle were because we talked outside of the show like almost every day, like even now, we still talk single day.

Yeah, but what they see what she's friends with a lot of people.

That's what I'm saying, yea, what they are showing though, it seemed like Michelle's number one girl is Michelle.

That's what I'm getting.

Even in the conversation that she's having with you, where she looks like on the outside, it looks like a friend is having a conversation, Oh, this man is dragging down your game.

This man, this man, this man.

But to me, somebody who is a gamer who has played the game and played Big Brother, it seems to me like she's saying, this man is getting in the way of you doing what I need you to do in this game.

That no that I mean, I have this conversation with her. I did feel that. I did tell her. I said, you know, I said, it really upset me because you know, they don't show our conversations after. But I told her, I said, you know, like, I feel like everyone wants me to do what's best for them, but the moment that I want to do what's best for me, it's a problem. And you know a lot of people tried making it look like, oh, Mariah likes James, that's why

I don't know about that.

There is never anything that I didn't know about. Like, James is very, very loyal.

To me in this game, and so you feel like he would ride for you as hard politically because we saw you ride for him yeah this episode. So you feel like if the roles were reversed, you were up for nomination or whatever, that he'd go as hard to people in the house, putting himself in sort of the line of fire to try and protect you.

I'm gonna be honest, I would not want him to because he is the worst politicer ever, he gets mad and he'll start saying, I don't get a book, put me in, I'll beat all of yous, That's what he'll say.

Like He'll be like it will be all.

Abuse, and I'll be like no, like I don't. Honestly, I would not want him to because he was at the bottom of everyone's list already. Like yeah. It got to the point where I was like, oh my god, Like basically, what's happening now is I'm having James doing everything I want to do, and now I'm feeling bad because I'm feeling like we're doing nothing. Maybe he wants

Who gave you the tip off that Hirasio might throw the challenge? Like where did that rumor from?

I think that a man well or Jay saw him and Kylin whisper in the corner and heard something or something. So there was something happening, right, and so it was really only it was only me me. I think maybe Zara knew and and a Manuel and Jay. So while we're having the secret meeting, I bricked Colleen Raven. I want to do this. I want to do this. And at this point I couldn't tell Raven because Raven always

That is so funny. Does she acknowledge them that it's she accidentally?

Like can't She's like yeah, my bad, because I'm like, yeah, my bro. The first episode, She's like, I'm gonna stick to my line.

Oh we saw that, right, we saw that. We couldn't tell at first if it was like no messiness or just like a like accidental.

We were telling everyone in the house, we're all cool, gaya, you know, So when she said a line, people are like alliance. I was like, I don't know what she's talking about. So yeah, so we had this whole conversation what we're going to do, right. So then when it comes down to saying our votes, I noticed Jane and a man while are quiet and kind of saying like, oh, I'll say this. They're waiting for the girls to say it, and that annoyed me, so I kept I kept telling Jay.

And the numbers have gotten down so far now that you're gonna have to start splitting things up. Like you literally can't take everyone with you to the end, so

Honestly, I don't think. I don't think, because even at this time, you know, me and him, Me and him ended up being fun, right, But even at this time, I felt and a lot of people, even though they said they trust him, trusted him, they didn't really trust him.

Too, you know, right, which is another good point too. In deliberation, we noticed that Olivia, especially not long after, we saw a scene where you and Olivia are talking, right and or she she does a talking head talking about kind of her concerns around James, but she's close to you, all that stuff, and then we see in nomination her sort of lead the nominations and say James's name.

It just it really bothered me because she was preaching ED at ED, so I thought it was going to be ed ed ed and when it came down to it, you know, and her saying no one was making moves. She just she's you know, she said James, and you know, the the night in the club before that, she told me that she wants to put James in her numbers, Like she said, I want to take someone out and put James blah blah blah. So I felt like it was good, like I felt like James had a chance

Yeah, yeah, right, so yeah, all right, look we have to take a quick break, but we will be right back after this.

Okay.

I know you guys have been waiting and I've been waiting too, so let's go ahead and get back to the show.

We see you say to James when James kind of takes the approach that he's not gonna politic, right, he's like, I don't believe in politicking. They both me ben f you and you're like no, and we see you politic and you sort of say like, I think you know if your nominaated or your name is up for nomination, and you don't say anything. It seems like you don't

Fuck your opinion? Like, we're gonna do what we want to do. And that's how I felt like people when I talked to them, That's how they That's where everyone's head was at. But I'm glad now that James didn't politic one because he's actually not that good at politicking. He actually would get all wild up and just say he's gonna beat everyone, and I actually hate that for him.

And then is that why people didn't like, didn't warm to him. Do you think as much as you did.

You know a lot of people liked James was the jokes are in the house, Like people would be like, oh, I love you, but like you know, like they would he just needed someone. They already made all their promises.

So they was just you know, on the escapegoat.

Yeah, yes, he was everyone's scapegoat. Like and it came to the point where I was like, bro, like, stop like stopping nice to them because you know they're being nice and then they're going to do this, and I keep you know, me, James and I we keep giving everyone a chance, like we're gonna be like, Okay, this

Right of course?

Yeah, So it was it was just it was a lot. I wish I did a lot in the house differently a lot, you know.

Yeah, because from the outside looking in, like I said earlier, it appears that this alliance that was created, and the branches of the alliance that is created, all of this is to help push forth Michelle and Jay's game.

Uh, that's what it is.

It's all of you working as a machine, not even realizing it. I think it's starting to click for you, but working as a machine to do their dirty work and push them to the final.

That's exactly it's.

Giving Mafia vibe a godfather.

So I definitely, I definitely agree with with j I think Ja will do whatever takes to make a final. And then as far as as far as Michelle, I feel like Michelle always had the three girls that she I know that I know that Michelle will never say my name, should never say Olivia's name, and she wouldn't say Narese's name that I knew.

But what would happen if, like, Okay, so you know how you talked about being on a big team a second ago, right, what would happen if you guys were on big, a big team before and Michelle was on one side the three of you are on the other side Michelle team one, and she's got to say a girl's name because now what happens, she can't not say all three.

I think that she Yeah, I mean at that point, you got to save yourself. Like I think that Michelle like say, those were the teams, right, Yeah, I think I think that Michelle would say Nourice. I think that I would say Olivia.

I think Olivia would say me, and I think that Nurie interesting.

I think Nurie would end up saying Michelle. And then I think that the guys. I think it'd be scary because it would be down to the guys, and then it probably for sure would be me because I was not like I don't want to suck anyone's ass like I I. We didn't talk game like you know, when when the house almost flipped on me, that was when that was a secret blessing because then some of the guys started talking to me, and that's that's when I

I just do you feel like burna started to become because we see Berna and I just when I was thinking, like, look how far burn has come, because when we had her on earlier in the season in the podcast, and she was really struggling getting along with people, and then the last few episodes it seems like she's you know, found her way, things gotten better, and now we see

No, Berna is the only person in Challenge history that could like fight with so many people and like not get voted in, like like me, you know, me and Berna at this and in this moment in the game, me and Berna, like we would pick her because she would just fight with me, Like she would fight with me over hangman on the back.

I think it's her love language.

Yeah, she would just fight with me, like about songs, anything she could fight with me about, you know. So at this point, I was like, bro, come on, like me and me and me and Berna were in like a sure little war. Like I had my target. So that's what I'm saying. But you know, no one wanted to.

I don't know, I just I guess I had my no one or something. Yeah, I mean it's impressive because it's earlier in this season that was gone right and now yes, and she's managed to like make it halfway through. It's so I mean, but obviously when talking to her on the podcast, she is very likable, Like I mean, yeah,

Hard for Berna because everyone's different, right, So like me, like I was close to Michelle, but I don't give a shit who Michelle's talking to. Like I'm the friend that you don't have to talk to at all. I know we're you know, but yeah, are different. So she's the friend, like she wants that attention. She feels like she you know, she needs the attention, you know, like everyone's different.

Yeah, she's a little territorial.

Yeah. And Michelle was really really like they don't show how much she was, but Michelle was very much fighting for Berna. Because there was a lot of times where I would tell Michelle. I'd be like Michelle, like I'm trying to be nice for you, Obama snapper, or I'm gonna like I'm gonna put her in, and she'd be like, well, like trust me, like like she's just feeling like this, like this isn't how she normally is, you know. So she was she was rocking with Berna, like she was trying.

Regarding being solid or change of plans. Who are you most shocked by in this nomination that voted for James was it Nourice, Olivia Michelle like, who shocked you the most in their declaration to pick James?

So I wasn't.

I wasn't actually that shocked with Nourice because she told me, she said, hey, Mariah, like, the numbers aren't going to go towards ED, so I can't make a target for myself. And I told her, you know, I was like, yeah, I understand. I appreciated that she even said that. Yeah, but it kind of also give me the grace to It gave me the grace to be like, okay, cool, well now I could still say Harasia like I wanted to,

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, why wait wait hold on, roll it back, sorry, So Olivia would tell you, yeah, kind of behind the scenes, that it was cool if you said Harazio.

She said she didn't want to run a final with him, and that it was okay, like that she can't be the one to do it right, So she would tell me this, is.

That because she thought he was competition or is it because there was some brewing? Okay, because hints. Yeah, we're starting to get hints already from both like teasers. Also we had Nouris on the pod. Also from what we've seen in episodes that there is some also I think what they stopped following each other or something on social media that there's like this thing brewing and we couldn't

Is that, Yeah, there's some people are really really good at twisting things or doing things off camera. And definitely one I could have so many people actually, probably almost the whole house can vouch for me. She wanted me to get her through house, like she wanted.

To you specifically, she wanted you to be the one that she.

Like, anyone she would just like plant in people's heads, you know, like.

And Noreise didn't pick up on this at the time, or because you guys all seemed like friends, so like that's why.

Arice didn't know. And at this moment, you know, I I wasn't really talking to Livy in the house. I wasn't really talking to Arice in the house. I talked to Michelle because she laid next to me, but I really was with James and Zara like I was chilling, like I didn't. I didn't speak game until I had you because I kind of knew what I wanted to do, and it was it was a matter of seeing what

What were you right about?

Like?

What were some of the things that your intuition was telling you that you feel like have been validated or confirmed?

My Okay? So it's one one thing for sure is it's hard for me to tell if I like someone or I don't like someone, or if I'm being mean. I'm not being mean. And one thing that I didn't like, uh, I know it, I feel even mean saying it, but I didn't like Helen like I didn't. I felt like there was something off about her and I felt like I just got a bad feeling from her and that

Way in what in what way? And like in terms of voting someone, and you feel like you should have trusted your heart, and like I shaved someone.

Or I wish that I didn't. I've sometimes I wish that I didn't work with who I worked with, you know, and I wish that I stuck to my guns about things because for me, it was hard because it was a tight line for me because I was not in a good position because if I said anything, if I said anything, it was a reason for someone to throw me in, Like people didn't trust me because I hung out with the UK people from the start, and.

Like it was.

Hard because even okay, even in deliberation when everyone said James's name, do you know how bad I wanted to be like, Wow, guys, I wanted to blow up everything. I wanted to be like, hey, you said this, you said you were going to do this. I'm confused, But I didn't do it because I knew. I know that in the long run, that wasn't smart for me, because I.

Want we're so glad you didn't blow up your game over that, So glad you didn't.

Like I want to be far. So there's there's a time, you know, yeah, totally, And it just it was hard, Like there's just a lot of things, a lot of people that I realized, like I shouldn't even be friends with people who have secret animosity towards me. I feel like there's just a lot that I'm like, wow, I you know, watching it back and also hearing things after season and finding the truth about things, it really gets

Yeah, you know. Yeah, those talking head interviews and secret alliances tell a lot, like painting a big piece of the story. We see you in your talking head mention and not to like go back to this, but we're now in kind of in the elimination phase, and we wouldn't be honest if we didn't bring it up. We

Oh?

My interlimination? And had you talked to anyone in the house about your concern?

Oh my god. Everyone in the house was bring it up to me. I was trying to move past it because I finally was in a spot where I was like, Okay, it's like I'm not gonna think about it anymore. It's done, Like the damage is done. This is why I feel now. I just got to rock with how I feel in any stand on it.

Right.

So everyone would be like, are you worried it's going to be Bananas? It's oh, it's going to be Banana's Banana's first James. So it was getting James all rolled up. It's getting me all rolled up.

I actually what was James's response to it?

Oh my god, well like, oh, it might be well, first he you know, he would do his defense mechanism, he'd be like I don't care. But then you know, when it was me and him, he'd be like, he's like, why does everyone want to put it as me and them? Like fuck them? Like why don't you go like faceing? You know, no one wants to go down there. So I knew that if if Johnny came, I was really stressed out because one it would like hurt me to see him hurt and two like I know he wouldn't

It's probably makes it both. I think he's definitely hurt, and he looked as someone who's known him for a long time and knows that he's toxic as hell. I definitely think he really cared. And sure there's embarrassment in there too, there's always that, but like, I think he

I was already listen. I was already on edge. I was so stressed out about hurting someone's feelings. So when Tory said it, I couldn't. It wasn't even what Tory was saying. I was thinking about Johnny and how he was feeling and it made me cry. I was like, oh my god, I'm hurting someone. And then when Drell said it, because I already have all these people are doing this chant in the house, They're talking about it constantly, they're making it a thing. So when that's happening, I

That sounds like something.

Yeah, So Darrell said that to me, you know, after, and I was like okay, because I was really beating myself up, and I think that, you know, maybe Durell could see that, so he you know, I think it's just hard because when Durell says it to you, I'm like, oh my god, because you know, they didn't show it, but Katy even said something to me, Oh really Yeah, Kasey was like, what's happening, Like, what's going on? What's going on?

Wait? How did Casey? Because did Casey just notice you guys were standing close together?

Like all? Big T told Casey, Oh, she told the Yeah, she was just telling her. Oh, you know, Big T was getting pretty much like everyone wanted big T out, so she was probably telling Casey like, oh my god, they're trying to get me out. This is happening, rightse blah blah blah blah, she asked me. And then when Devin came, someone in the stand said something before before like Devin had no clue, no clue, he had no clue.

It wasn't because of that.

So now at this point, you have all of these vents making statements about you and Johnny and James, right, they're all making SAMs. And then earlier in the interview, you said you didn't want to say anything because you didn't wanted to be a TV thing. You didn't want it to be a moment. It is now a moment at this point, you now know it's a moment. So after after derail, you know what I'm saying, did you get you know what?

Let me just make this phone call and get this overweight since we already.

No, no, no, because I just you know, I really didn't want. I didn't want Johnny to think like I just did. I didn't want I already felt like I already did enough by hurting his feelings. I didn't want to have that. First of all, I don't think he would answer.

Were you a little afraid to were you a little scared to face? No conversation?

Now? One thing about me is if I do something and I'm not proud of it, I'll admit it and I'll say I'm sorry because what else can I do? Like I was so sorry, you know, but I didn't want it to be on TV, Like I just didn't want that for him, Not because I mean because.

You know, like so did you think the bets mentioning it wasn't going to make air? Because we saw like Tory whisper it under her breath, tea a little bit right like where it seemed.

Yeah, I thought maybe they wouldn't put all of that in, you know, And so when they did, I was like, oh my god. But you know, I wanted I wanted to tell him myself. I didn't want it to be a TV thing. I didn't want to I feel like, you know, even the chanting and stuff, I didn't like that because that's mean.

Did you tell people in the house to shut the f up when they were doing that chanting? Yes?

Yeah, And there has even a time, like I told, you know, I told James, I'm like, James, I don't. I don't like when you do that, Like that's really really disrespectful, and like, I don't I don't want him like I didn't want Johnny to think because I wasn't in this house talking shit about him at all. I never talked shit about him, Like I don't like when I don't like when people are done and they like start being really mean about the person. I don't. I

Oh, so they were trying to make it a moment in the house. So now James is safe, right and he didn't even have to compete how and he's coming back in the house. What are your what are the thoughts and feelings now? And do you guys have sort of a game plan or like what is the strategy in the next day.

So so as soon as James's name is not picked, I literally slapped my butt and all the girls and I flick them off and they got kissed because I was like scre guys, like you guys, you know, I was still mad. So I looked at I looked at James. And when they said it was a night challenge, I swear to god, I was so pissed. They don't show how mad I was because I'm really good at, like I'm holding things in. I'm really good at holding things in and waiting for the perfect moment to say something,

Yeah.

Yeah, it fires you up. And you see that like motivation that you need to push through. Yeah. So you so you are fired up going into this nighttime challenge and crazy I'm excited.

Yeah, before we get into that, I just want to because I know this. You're a straight shooter and I'm seeing that in this this episode. You don't mind saying what you have to say and you don't mind talking about things. So I want to thank you for being vulnerable with us, and I want to thank you for coming a lot of people run from Devin, and I I'm not sure why.

Not just calling out callum again. A lot of.

People run from this podcast, and honestly, I feel like this is the best space. We can't always address the trolls on social media, we can't always address everything all the time, but I feel like this is a great platform for you to come and finally use your voice so people.

Can't tell your your story, you know.

What I mean.

So I thank you for not holding back on us and coming and saying, hey, I know certain things Devin didn't agree.

With, but I still want to come and tell you guys.

You didn't agree either. Don't even try it back up.

Ok, Yeah, let's call it what it was.

The only thing I was when you was crying and you was like, how does my makeup look?

I said, ma'am no, ma'am no, ma'am.

Oh, yeah, well that was Listen. That was literally so long of me crying that I was over it. I was fucking numb, like I already cried all my tears. I'm done. And I also felt like, what the hell, why are you guys doing this to me? Because keep in mind, we're not supposed to be filming back there, so we're not filming back there, so I think this is a moment for for me. Look look I walked out of that stage showing like not trying to cry.

That's literally what makes good TV. How Like moments are literally.

TV person So I like, I didn't know that they were gonna whip out a big freaking light on me. I was like, okay, I can like let it all out. So after me crying and then putting that light on me smartimes, I'm like, I need it looks like a tough bitch, Like, let me fix myself, let me be done crying. I'm numb to this. Like I feel ganged up on. I feel like everyone. I feel like everyone is you know, sticking up and you know, rightfully so

Like you don't even I mean, but can you understand why just take a step back for a second, because I also heard since you mentioned hearing a clip about me saying I didn't agree with it, and I still stand on that. I appreciate you sharing your side, and I think in holding you to a higher regard and seeing that you had a conscience the whole time, which is something I always pointed out and like about you,

Yeah, I just feel like people don't know what they're talking about, and like that's yeah, like people don't know the ins and outs and they only know they only know the parts that maybe Johnny told them right, And I again want to say this I was not right, Like I'm not saying I'm not saying like, oh I did this because he did this because other people's actions don't reflect mine, like I did that. I did that,

Like I make a mistakes, you can own up to your part of stuff.

Yeah, I will not fight it. I will not say like because I can only be better, Like I can't. I can't fix things, you know, I can't go back in time, but I could be better now. Yeah, but I sorry, I start ranting Africa with the hell and It's okay.

We were just acknowledging. We were appreciating you for being for opening up, and we're just kind of like putting a bow on the fact of you know, what you learned, happy that you got a chance to tell your side of it as well, and wanting to give you that space and appreciate you coming and sharing your experience and just owning up to it because like we're all human, we all make mistakes and there's nothing worse than someone

Yeah, yeah, because I you know, and I don't want to seem like you know, I get I get defensive sometimes I'm like, I don't care, but I do care that I hurt someone. Yeah, you know, I just I guess I get some I get sometimes mad because I feel like for him personally, he knows like ins and outs of me and him, So for him to.

Hard that he wasn't perking either, so that you're not the only villain.

Yeah, to be so hard on me hurts my feelings because you know, at least I'm open and honest about it. I just don't like that I'm getting attacked and he's just you know, egging on it kind of without like, you know, thinking about everything.

It's an unhealthy way for him to air his hurt. But I will say this and it doesn't make his behavior better, But just you as a person, like obviously you're a good person. He saw that for over a year and I can tell you, Mariah, he did care and still does like he did genuinely care about you. That part wasn't fake, doesn't mean he wasn't toxic. I don't know all the things that happening now, but I

I do feel like that now. At first I thought maybe he didn't care, and I just.

Like, you know, I do trust me here that I was so.

Upset and beating myself up for nothing like it.

Made me feel yeah, nobody he cared. And honestly, I think that's why so many vets said something to you as well, because I think anyone who did interact with him or talk to him, I think got the sense of like, oh shit, he actually cared, you know what I mean? And I feel like this isn't something he brushes.

And I feel like from the text, because he you know, he's got me like a text first the first couple ones were obviously nice during the house, and then it turned yeah, yeah, then you know, it turned to a long message, and I just feel like in that message, like he thought that I didn't care and that's just completely untrue, Like I care about him, you know, like I don't. I obviously if I didn't care about him,

The situation to.

Me, sounds like a classic case of hurt people hurt people, and so that's what seems like is going on to me. I mean, once the dust settles, and it's harder for it to settle right now because both of your names are so public.

Right and it's replaying in real life, like this season is not over so there's going to probably be more fodders you know, or whatever, like tweets and comments and until it airs.

Yeah, I do believe that once the dust settles, because you know, like you guys are going to be big for now and then something else is gonna happen.

It's gonna be like Ryan, right, you know what I'm saying.

And so when it gets to that point, right, when it gets to that point, I do believe you two could potentially have a conversation.

Yeah, I want. I want to have a conversation, you know, like I feel like I'm just because you know, here's the gym in Florida. Now, I'm like hello, Like do I need to freaking pop up and be like, hey, you know.

I want to have I want to have it. Not now, but yes, yeah, I'm like, oh but no.

I want to. I do want to have a conversation with him, and you know, like I just don't. The one main thing is I don't want him to think like I'm heartless, I didn't care or that nothing real, because you know, I think he does feel like that and that's just not true.

And I think that would help heal both of you in the in the long run, So hopefully you guys will be able to like settle or at least come to a neutral place once probably this is done, airing the dust settles and all of that.

I wich the best. I just think we weren't gonna work together.

Yeah, for sure, and it's better that you guys like move now to places that give you room for growth for those who want to follow you guys though, well, actually before you get your social because you said you had a very long list of notes, anything else on that list real quick?

I feel like I did nail everything. Let's see, well I did, I do have you know, I do have one more thing to say, though, Okay, I did not like, Hey, this is I'm just very honest about what I feel because I really care, because I don't need to be friends with no one, Like I'm just gonna say what I feel and that's it. I did not like that in that scene because it really does bother me about Olivia saying she would never do that, and that that she that we were talking for you, she would never

You did that well in talking down on you about the bananas thing, is that what you're.

Think She would never she would never do something like that, and that's not how she operates. But then she gets with people's boyfriends like that's you know, like, please don't say you would never do something like that, because you do.

You do it a lot, right, So it seems like she was sister wiving with Ray in the last week's episode. By the way, it seems like they had a sister wife thing going on. I don't know, Yes, yeah, that's that.

Do they show and Raven or No?

Whoa, I don't remember that?

No? Okay, so that also okay, okay, let me just say okay ready. No. A big reason also why I was okay saying Kylan's name is, you know, Melissa literally is like, if Kyland flirts with anyone, you know, put him in blah blah blah. So I literally I even said him on my interviews. I'm like, I don't care too. This is for Melissa, because he was he was flirting with Raven in the house, trying to flirt with Olviya in the house. He as soon as Melissa left, like he was like he never met Melissa.

Wow. Wow, was this before or after he did the shirt funeral thing when he was like lay my relationship to rest or whatever he said night.

That she left, it started wow the night that shew the night that she left. Literally, Olivia is like, oh my god. Kyland was trying to say this or something, and then he was telling calling, oh, you look nice, and then he was with he was cuddling Raven and I even told him something. I'm like, do you think it's a little weird? And he's like yeah, he told me.

But I don't think a lot of swapping going on.

I don't think that she agreed to that, Like I just don't know. So I kind of looked at him. There's like one time where I was sitting with James and Raven came in the room with Kylin and Kyln looked at me. He's like I'm not doing anything Maria because he knew that I was giving the eye right.

But wait, wasn't Raven going after Iman? Well, also because we see her cuddling with him. They do the night vision camerayah, proof again that good reality TV shows nothing literally nothing is off limits. They do the night vision camera and it's Olivia on one side, Raven on the other, even while in the middle, and they're like, it's like movie night or something.

I don't know about that. Like that's why I say I think that Rage is very unseerious. But I actually kind of I kind of like that she's so unseerious because she has no stress, you know, like Raymond is very funny. Like she's so unseerious. Don't that the whole her and I remember that movie and we kind of all were like, okay, the double cuddle session, Like, yeah, there was definitely there was definitely beef with Olivia and Raven.

Right, oh really over over a Manuel?

Yeah?

Did they know that he hiked up with Colleen?

Actually no, oh my god, none of us knew about Colleen none, Like, but that's what I'm.

Saying, Like she's a good secret key.

No, Well, she literally like we would say all in the house. We'd be like, oh my god, Colleen's like the we because we would we would call her the mole because she would pop up and we wouldn't know she's there. Like she would literally just pop up, you know,

Like it was very like oh interesting. She was just like absorbing information. It sounds like like she was just like taking it.

It's just like there's nothing, like there's no the conversation was like no depth, Like it just was very boring and like I just didn't want to have the conversation, you know.

I tried.

I tried a few times because I was like, am I being like a jerk? Like am I being wrong? Like maybe I should get to know her, and I tried to get to know her, and then I just didn't want to. Yeah, we didn't know. There was so much going on in this We had no idea about I'm in long Colleen. And then I think that Raven honestly, Raven didn't know there was beef with Olivia.

Oh so it's one sided. So Olivia had beef with Raven.

Yeah, yeah, Raven was. That's why I say she's unseerious, Like, dude, when I say that, I mean it like she didn't. I don't think she even knew about this beef. There's a time where I'm like, listen, I think that you guys should talk because this is like this is not a real like there should be nothing going on right now, you know. Yeah, it was like That's why I say, like, Raven things unintentionally, like she doesn't mean anything by it,

It was one entertaining, sounds interesting, it was also entertaining. I love it. Thank you so much, Mariah, and for those who want to follow you and your entertaining this on social media. Where can they find you on the socials?

Mariah Jade?

A cool? Is that on Instagram?

TikTok, It's on everything? Yeah, my last name is not Cha, like everyone's like Maria and Ja. No, no, Mariah Jade.

Okay, thank you because I was one of those people everyone got your last.

My last name is Andrew Chowski, which is like polish as hell.

Oh my god, I love that. That on my bingo card that was not I never would have guessed. I know I never would guess that. Well, thank you, Mariah j Do you feel better now coming on the podcast? I know you had a lot you want to get off the chest. I know your guard was up a little bit in the beginning. You may have felt like you're going against the firing scot. Thank you for being brave like day day. So do you feel better now?

Yeah? I feel I feel good. I just you know, I always want to clarify how I feel, and you know, I wish I wish the best for you know, everyone I have. I really have no beef with anyone. I you know, I could say how I feel, but it's not important enough to have beef with.

So appreciate that.

Love it.

Thanks for not attacking me, and of course I want you to feel like cool.

Thank you guys, thank you bye woo. That was one for the book she came with all her notes. I also like that one of her notes included talk to Devin about the podcast. Watch this podcast get brought up in the re union. Sure I'm not bad about it, but I feel like, one hundred percent it will. That was such a good interview though, and I really appreciated getting to hear her side of things and just like get to know her a little bit better.

What do you think, day, I think it was a great opportunity for her to tell her side of the story, which I had been begging for for her to come on here and tell her side of the story. And so yeah, hopefully it'll give the listeners and us a little more clarity and understanding.

You know.

And you know, either we can continue to follow this story or we could continue to just say, oh, okay, that happened, Let's move on. But if the people want to follow you, where can the people follow you on the socials of the.

Medias Mmm, they can go to my website. That's devinisimone dot com. Devin with a Y Simone with an dot com scroll down to the bottom. You will see my socials there, or you can just join me on Instagram. It's at Devin Simone Twitter. Same thing at Devin simone TikTok as well, but my TikTok pretty much looks like

Day Girl? Christmas shopping from my child.

I'm in all the stores, but you got a couple of days.

It gives last minute gives Lord.

But you can also find me on the socials and media's. You can find me on Twitter at day Davion Underscore. You can also find me on Instagram at Davion Diane Underscore.

And for now, I'm gonna leave it right there.

Since Devin always has something to say about my YouTube, well, i'mnna make a video about her bookmarket.

You know what.

Book mark.

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