Music. Welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, the podcast that empowers you to transform life's challenges into opportunities for personal growth and healthier relationships. We're your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists and trauma experts. As experienced therapists with backgrounds in addressing trauma and mental health disorders, we believe there is hope and there certainly is healing.
We've spent our lives supporting people through the ups and downs, and we want to share these insights with you. Together, we'll unravel the layers of personal and building healthy relationships. Each week, we'll bring you engaging conversations, expert insights, and practical strategies to help you heal from the past, foster healthy communication, and develop enduring love.
This podcast is your guide to transforming adversity into triumph, healing wounds and past trauma, gaining wisdom and insight, and creating meaningful, fulfilling connections. So if you're here to heal, to better understand yourself or your relationships, you're in the right place. So sit back, get comfortable, bring your trauma and your drama, and let's start healing. Welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Therapy. Music. Hi everyone, welcome to the podcast. We're very excited to have you here with us today.
We're going to be bringing you this special podcast here on Election Day because a lot of people have a lot of fear and a lot of worry and concern when it comes to Election Day. What we want to do is we want to be the voice of reason, and we want to help to calm some of the tensions that a lot of people feel when it comes to election day. And so in this special episode, we're going to be taking some time.
We're going to talk to you about how the system is set up so you don't have to worry so much about how the election turns out. But then we're also going to talk about some personal things that you can do to help manage any fears, worries, or concerns if the election doesn't end up going the way that you hope it does. So the first thing we want to talk about is that the system is built for a balance of power.
And what this means is that elections are consequential. They do matter, but it's set up so that things aren't generally going to change so radically from election to election. And so if you think about it, this is the idea of the three branches of government. You have the executive, you have the judicial, and then you have the legislative. Each one of those branches is designed to help rein in the power of the other branches.
And a lot of times people get frustrated about gridlock in Washington because they want something to change. They want it to be different. And then when it gets stifled or slowed down, it can be very frustrating because But then on the other hand, it slows things down so that they don't happen so fast. So if the side that you're hoping gets elected this election doesn't end up getting elected, those three branches slow down the role of one side just doing whatever they want.
And I know a lot of people, when they talk about elections, they say, this is the most consequential election ever, and the country's going to come to an end if this other person gets elected or if this person doesn't get elected. But I will tell you, I've lived through many of those consequential elections, and it hasn't been the end of the country. The country may have shifted in a direction maybe that I was less pleased with, or maybe in a way that you were less pleased with.
But ultimately, at the end of the day, what any one president or what any one congressman or what any Supreme Court can really do is limited by each of those other branches. And so if you stop and you take a little bit of time and you think about previous elections and how much people have said, this is so important, this will be the end of democracy or this will be the end of the country if this, that or the other thing happens.
Well, that has been something that has been being said at least for decades at this point. And ultimately, each election, although they're consequential and important, and I don't want to downplay that at all, that the country is still here and the country is still functioning, even after each one of those supposed possibly world ending elections. And if you're a believer, there's one even greater who really is in charge and balances everything out.
And I think that is so helpful for me to remember that as a believer. God ultimately is in control. And whoever is elected into office today after all the votes go in isn't going to be a surprise to God. It may be a surprise to you, or there may be a huge upset in different groups, but ultimately God knows and God is in control and he is the ultimate authority.
And so there are times where when you are hearing all the things that are happening in our nation, but also around the world, it can feel overwhelming and there can be fear that sometimes overtakes you. And that's why Tim and I were talking about doing this episode, because there is a lot of fear around this election. There's a lot of fear around who's in control and which policies are going to be put into place.
And there's lots of anxiety and division and all of that. But this is nothing new to the Lord. And so I think ultimately, as we talk about things today, yes, there are checks and balances that we have in our system in the U.S. I know there's a lot of people that are listening from across the world. But in the U.S., we do have these checks imbalances. But ultimately, the bottom line is that God is in charge and God is in control and nothing is beyond his grasp.
And actually, I think a lot of times people even stop and they think, oh, we've never been more divided. If you think back 100 or 150 years or so, politicians used to cane each other or they even used to do duels with each other to the death. And so when you think about divided, it's like, OK, that's not something that we're doing anymore. That's not really a part of the equation. And as much as it may feel divided, this is just a normal set of human circumstances.
Whenever it comes to politics, people on both sides believe their way is right and they want to argue and they want their ideals to win out. But ultimately, there's nothing really different from now compared to there was 100 or 150 years ago. It's still people are just people and they act the way that they kind of always have. And when it comes to different ideals, there never is just this everybody just agrees this is right or everybody just agrees this is wrong.
There's always a certain amount of tension between we should go this direction or we should go that direction. And so even when you're thinking about today, a lot of people get stuck in this idea, oh, man, it's never been as bad as it is now. But I'll tell you, human beings have not changed that much in the last several hundred years.
If you were in election back in the 1800s, people would be feeling and thinking very similarly to how they're thinking and feeling today about what the end result of the election is going to bring. And so the other thing to note, too, is that we do go through cycles. And what it looks like generally in the elections is maybe a party will get in for four to eight years, but very rarely do they get in for 12 years in a row.
Normally then it shifts and then the other party gets into control, and then it kind of shifts back a little bit more the other direction. And so as much as people are concerned about what the outcome is going to be, and again, I'm not saying elections aren't consequential, they definitely are. Generally, I think the American populace is relatively centrist, and when it starts to swing too far one direction, then they elect the other side, and then it swings back the other direction.
Then it might swing a little bit too far that way, then the next election, the American people vote for the other party. If you really stop and you look back at the history of the elections, you'll see that it's not uncommon for a party to be in power for eight years, but then it'll shift and it'll go to the other party.
And so even if it doesn't go your way this round, generally you're going to be looking at a swing coming down the line in four, eight, or maybe, but probably not, even 12 years down the road. The next thing is that the community that you live in also is very important. Going from the idea of the federal system to the state system, to your county, to your city, that also really matters a lot to the policies that you're going to be under.
And so even if, let's say, a president gets elected that isn't of your party, if you're living in a state that has your party, that's actually probably going to have a lot more to do with how politics affects your life than on the federal level. And again, not saying that the federal level doesn't matter, it absolutely does, but you're more likely to be insulated. So if you're in a state that agrees with your politics, you're more likely to experience life in that state.
And that's going to affect you more than what's happening generally at the federal level. And same thing at the county and the city level. Those things all affect a lot of how you're experiencing the world around you, too. And so we put a ton of stock in what happens in the federal elections. But a lot of times people don't consider or think nearly as much about what's happening at the state or the local level. They just don't think they're that important.
But realistically, those policies are affecting much more directly. Exactly. And so if you live in a state that agrees with those policies, you actually have a lot less to worry about than if you don't. And I think another thing that's important, too, is no matter who wins the election. Most of your life is going to be affected by how you're choosing to lead it and what you're choosing to do in your everyday life, regardless of what's happening with politics.
Again, there might be restrictions or things that might be happening around you that do affect you because of politics. The vast majority of your life is going to be affected by your own choices and not what a politician is choosing. And right now we live in a country where we still have the ability to vote. And it is so important for you to get out there and vote because even though what we talked about before, that God is in control, that everything is set up because of his providence.
And I have faith in that and I can trust in that. But it doesn't give me the ability to then not exercise my right to vote. And I know for some people that might be, well, if your Satan God's in control, then why do we even have to vote ourselves? Or why does it matter? And one of the quotes that I really love when we talk about politics is that politics matter because policy matters, because people matter.
And so there is so much tension that goes on, even in the churches, where I've heard multiple people say, well, politics should stay out of the church. But in reality, people matter because we're all made in the image of God. The people that we are electing or the people that we're voting for, the politics of it all are important because who we choose to elect affects the policy that will come into play. And there is a lot of policy that may or may not align with not just your preferences.
But your beliefs, your core beliefs. And those policies then affect the people. And it's so important to remember that we are all made in the image of God. And so I really do love that quote. And then looking at the other side of that, when we look at the division and the tension and all of that that happens, we can look at a big group of people and clump everyone into that. Everyone on this side is this, this, and this, right?
And that's where that hatred begins and the seeds of resentment happen. But Tim and I were actually just talking about this in another context. But when you take out individual people, they matter. and we can vilify groups and groups of people. And yet you have a conversation one-on-one with a person and it totally changes your view. It doesn't necessarily change what you believe or who you're voting for, but it's easy to vilify a group of people.
But when you break it down to that person, that person that's made in the image of God, it's hard to vilify them because we see them more than just this collective group. We see them as an individual. Well, actually, that's a really interesting point you bring up there because people, when they're polled about how they feel about Congress as a whole, really dislike it.
But then when you ask them about individual Congress people, then they have a much rosier perspective or view of those people in general. And so if you're looking at the other side and you're thinking about those people, oh, they're all terrible, bad people. But then when you get to know an individual or you do know an individual who's on the other side. A lot of times I see a lot more humanity because it's okay.
This is not my conceptualization of the other side. This is a real human being who's sitting in front of me. And one of the things too, I think this happens a lot in politics where people think the other side's being disingenuous a lot of times with what they say and what their beliefs are. But the only reason we think that way is because it's hard for us to see we have our beliefs. Okay, I have this belief over here. Well, how could they believe that over there? That's so different from what
I believe. is because they have different information that they listen to or different people that they listen to, and then they have different values or priorities from you. That's why people can have such different feelings about the exact same situation. And it's not that they're being disingenuous or trying to trick you or trying to destroy the country. It's just that they believe different things are good and important.
But what really happens, and this is the next point, is if you get really sucked into following a lot of media around the elections and things like that, you have to know that there's an ulterior motive behind news companies, and it is money. They just want people to watch. And if they say very middle of the line, if they are trying to be the voice of reason, like we're trying to be right now, they're not going to get nearly as many views.
But if they're talking about the end of the world, it's a crisis, and this is in danger, that's going to grab a whole lot more eyeballs. That's going to keep your attention for much longer than if they say, hey, listen, it's going to be okay. Whether we win or whether we lose, we're still going to be all right. The country is going to keep moving on and we're going to be able to fight through our disagreements. That's not something that's going to grab a lot of eyeballs.
People will hear that and they'll roll their eyes and they want to change the channel. And so really, if you're sitting there and you're consuming a ton of media on this, it's also going to ramp up your anxiety a lot because they have a monetary incentive to make you feel like this is such a dramatic thing so that you will keep paying attention to them and so that you'll keep tuning in and then they'll keep making ad revenue off of it. So this is now shifting us into the individual aspect of it.
If you are feeling a lot of anxiety surrounding this election. So as we close today's episode, elections are absolutely important. And making sure that you are involved and doing your part is vital. But just remember to stay calm through the election season from now until whoever it is is inaugurated and well beyond that.
And for those of you who have a faith and trust in God, ultimately remember that He is in control and that I will trust in his providence and that the anxiety and all the tensions that come up with elections and even the consequences and everything, that it's not beyond his control.
So we're gonna end there for today, but make sure you tune into the next episode where we're gonna talk about on a more individual level, how can you stay calm through all the tensions that we're feeling around us in this election season? And we're gonna talk about empowering yourself and making sure that you take care of yourself during this season. All right, you guys, have a great day. And remember, your mind is a powerful thing. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of Mr. and Mrs.
Therapy. We hope that you enjoyed today's episode and found it helpful. If so, would you take 30 seconds and share it with a friend? Also, we'd love for you to leave us a review on Apple Podcast. It lights us up to know that this podcast is helping you. If you have any questions or a topic you'd like discussed in future episodes, visit our Facebook group.
Just click the link in the description below. Although we are mental health providers, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. If you are struggling with persistent mental health issues, chronic marital issues, or feeling hopeless or suicidal, you are not alone. Help is available. Please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988.
Thank you again for joining us on Mr. and Mrs. Therapy. Remember, there's always hope and there's always help. Music.