Music. Welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, the podcast that empowers you to transform life's challenges into opportunities for personal growth and healthier relationships. We're your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists and trauma experts. As experienced therapists with backgrounds in addressing trauma and mental health disorders, we believe there is hope and there certainly is healing.
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Now, we're going to explore a very oftentimes overlooked tool that people can use that can can really help them to calm the storm within their mind. And I would say it's a tool that people are often just opposed to right off the bat. Oh, for sure. Regularly when I bring this up, people's faces cringe. And it's something that pretty much everybody has heard about before. And as we explore this tool, sometimes there are issues that we're facing that we can do things about.
We can put an action plan into place and work through it. And this tool is also effective for that. But it's also effective for situations and issues where truly you feel like there's nothing that you can do. It is out of your control and either you have to wait it out or you just kind of have to sit through the storm. And those situations are difficult because it's hard to not be in control. It's hard to feel like there's nothing I can do.
Now, before we jump in, if you haven't already joined our Facebook group, we have a link down in the description below. you can click on and join our community there. All right, so let's jump in. What is this mystery tool and technique that we like to teach people? It is, I'm waiting for your collective sigh, even though I can't hear it. It's journaling. Now, a lot of times people will think journaling is not helpful. It's uncomfortable.
And I definitely remember as a kid thinking about people who wrote journals and especially when they're writing private information in there. And I always used to think like, well, how would you want to do that? Then people might be able to to find it and then it's not private and then you might be embarrassed by that. And so I never kept a journal as a kid. But the type of journaling that we're talking about isn't about keeping a record of what's going on.
What it is is a tool and way that you can manage and process through your emotions, especially for situations like you're talking about, Ruth, where you might not have anything you can actually do right now to correct a situation that you're going through or to correct something that has happened. But a part of it is that there is this unpleasant thing that can happen when you let negative emotions just bounce around in your brain.
It essentially is like taking a snowball at the top of a hill and rolling it down. What it does is it kind of picks up steam and picks up momentum. Then it can be more and more difficult to actually manage your emotions. And I think a lot of times if you stop and you think about it, if you ever have a runaway thought process that just kind of keeps cycling through the same thing, what ends up happening is you get more and more upset. You don't actually get calmer and calmer.
And what it is because your Your brain keeps thinking about all these possible negative outcomes or reliving this negative experience or reliving these negative thoughts that you're having. And then as you keep rolling through it, your brain gets more and more tired. And so it just kind of gives in more and more to those feelings.
And so one of the things you really can get out of this that oftentimes can be surprising is you can get a significant reduction in negative emotional state in that moment. Now, there is a right way and a wrong way to do journaling. One of the things about journaling, and specific about mental health, is that we are not journaling for accuracy.
We are not journaling to keep a record. record we are journaling to try to help our brain process the emotions better and as a matter of fact i like to tell my clients listen i actually don't want you to keep that journal around i want you to take it and throw it away shred it burn it get rid of it because i don't want you to go back and revisit that journal because what it oftentimes tends to do is it then reignites your negative feelings and
so if we're doing journaling not necessarily like just oh i'm just journaling the everyday experience of my life but it's like hey i'm in a bad spot right now or i'm really struggling emotionally and I don't want to be, we want you to do what I like to call stream of thought journaling, where whatever's in your mind, you put down on the piece of paper. If your mind is halfway through a thought and then it jumps onto a new thought,
don't try to finish that thought on the piece of paper. Just follow your brain. Okay, my brain jumped to a new thought. I'm going to stop the sentence right here and I'm going to jump onto this new thought. And that may be difficult and uncomfortable because going through school and stuff, you're trained like, Like, oh, I need to make sure my thoughts are coherent and I need to make sure I'm having a clear narrative here. But that's not what this journaling is for.
It's trying to mimic what your brain is doing in order to allow your brain to get more settled and to release what it's currently struggling with. And I'd say that you telling your clients to not keep their journals does change the way that you journal. If you have the thought that you're going to keep it and someone might read it, even if that's in the back of your mind, it does change how you journal because there's a thought that somebody might see this and you might withhold a couple things.
Or if you're trying to keep a record of it, you're in a different part of your brain where you're trying to do information rather than emotions. And so it does change how you journal. So if you're trying to process through something heavy and we're trying to just get to the emotions and like Tim said, process how your brain is processing, it's beneficial and it is good to get it all out of there and onto the paper and then to get rid of it.
Because even if you think, no, I'm not going to withhold anything. Having that in the back of your mind can change things. Oh, for sure. And this is something that I talk about with my clients, especially when we're doing EMDR, because a lot of times they're sharing their deepest, darkest secrets or their raw thoughts. And they'll be like, well, please don't judge me for this. But this is what I was thinking. And I'll tell my clients to say, listen, I'm not here to judge you.
I understand you're feeling a certain way and you're expressing that. And I'm here to help you work through that. And same thing with the journal. If you have any inkling or fear that somebody is going to then read it, it's going to cause you to edit it. But you want to put those just raw emotions down on there, whether they're accurate or not. This is just what I feel right now.
Because your brain is thinking that if it doesn't get some level of expression or resolution to it, it's just going to keep rattling around in there. And so if you feel bad afterwards, that's okay. The goal is not to make you feel bad, but I'm just going to write down this raw feeling to try and help your brain to express it.
Because it's going to come out some Some way, shape or form, whether you then express that later on, maybe not those words, but you express those emotions that you're trying to repress or you get some physiological sensations. We call them psychosomatic sensations where because you repress those feelings, now you might get an upset stomach or you might feel it in your chest or something like that.
And so when you're doing journaling, you're choosing a much more manageable way in order to get these thoughts and feelings out of your head versus allowing your brain to just choose one for you. And so, again, you might think about this and you might think, logically, this doesn't make sense. Let me assure you, this has a much more powerful effect than you're going to guess. And one of the things I always tell my clients, too, is you want to journal until you're bored.
If you journal till you're bored, it's your brain saying, I'm at peace with this, at least for now. Now, it's not necessarily fully resolved on the subject matter, but it's saying right now, I'm not upset about it. I'm not concerned. I'm not worried. And that's generally a good place to get when your journaling is, OK, now I'm bored about this. And then you can move on and shred it, rip it up, burn it, whatever, get rid of it in some way, shape or form.
But don't keep it around for some snooping eyes to find it or for yourself to even reread it, because that's not then accomplishing the end goal of what we want you to be doing with the journaling. And there's also research that backs up the benefits of journaling. According to a study, participants who wrote about traumatic experiences exhibited significant improvements in mood and reductions in distress compared to those who did not.
And I think part of this is that processing through, especially if you do it sooner than later. So the sooner you can sit down and use journaling to process through these emotions. It'll help your mind to feel like it has a release. And it may not solve the problem that you're dealing with, especially if it's something that's out of your control. But this is an area that could be in your control to help you to manage the emotions and the mood that comes along with it.
So even though nothing changed in the situation, there can be changes within you and how you manage and process it. Another benefit of journaling is that it enhances mental clarity and focus. Now, I think one of the interesting things about this is that especially if you are struggling with a lot of stuff that's going on and you're having a hard time figuring out what do I need to do, a lot of times you can get paralyzed by just thinking about everything that has to be done.
But if you stop and you sit down in your journal and you write down everything that needs to be done, it can help you get a much deeper level of clarity of where I should start. And it may seem counterintuitive. Well, I have so much I have to do and then I'm going to take time and I'm going to write it out. How is that going to help me? I already don't have enough time to do all the things that I'm going to do. Well, one of the things that definitely can do is it can help you to prioritize.
In my senior year in college, I got into a position where I was kind of way over my head. I had taken a ton of extra classes my senior year. And I remember coming up to the finals. I remember there were so many papers I had to write, so many tests I had to study for. I had my senior project I had to finish. And it was just a massive load of stuff that I had to do. But I remember probably about two weeks out when I was having to really get started on on all this stuff.
I sat down and I wrote down what I was going to work on, what day I was going to work on it, for how long I was going to work on it, which is not the norm for how I do things. But I wrote all that stuff out because I knew I needed a plan and a strategy. And in the midst of all the chaos and in the midst of all those time pressures, I didn't have to stop and think again and again about what I should be doing now.
I just stuck to my plan and my strategy. And I was like, okay, I got to do this and this and this. Okay, time's up for that. Now I got to move on to this and I got to do this and this and this. And I was able to barely survive my senior year and get all the stuff done and pass all of my classes. But it required that extra amount of effort to stop and get clarity on what was important and what was the timing of things that were important.
And then once I had done that, I didn't need to revisit or rethink about it. I had already come up with the solution. Oh, for sure. Journeying can definitely help organize those thoughts and gets all of those things in your mind, like you're saying, onto paper so you can prioritize and it gives you clarity.
So by transferring these thoughts onto paper, you can clear your mind, focus on your goals, prioritize your problems, your fears, your concerns, and it can help you streamline that thinking and enhance your decision making. So now you know clearly in front of you what you need to do next. And these are two very different reasons and ways for journaling, right?
So the first one is you're processing through something heavy and you're really trying to get all your emotions onto the paper and process through that. And that helps improve and process through the emotions, the traumatic events, all of that. Whereas the second kind of journaling that we just talked about where it helps improve mental clarity and focus is definitely in a different situation where maybe you just feel overwhelmed, where you have a long list of things that you need to get done.
So that's certainly different types of journaling. And the last type of journaling is journaling as a habit. it. And this is different from what you're originally talking about, where you're not keeping it, you're not keeping the record of it. So you're not necessarily trying to process through a specific problem. But there's benefits to even just journaling as a habit. And some of this is it boosts memory and comprehension.
It strengthens self discipline, because it's something you are committed to, and you're doing it. And you're establishing a routine with it. And then it also provides stress relief. So maybe you haven't gone through something big that you're trying to process through, but you're catching these little stressors along the way and be able to process and journal through it just as part of your daily habit.
And so for boosting memory, when you stop and you take time and you think about your day and then you write it out, you are basically going through your day by repetition. And then it helps you to remember things better that have happened throughout the day when you try to recall them later.
And so if you're struggling right now with like, man, I feel like I can't remember anything or I can't recall anything, and you'd like to take steps to try to improve that, sitting down and then journaling about it then can greatly increase your ability to remember and recall events that have happened and not just kind of let them slide out of your mind. And so the benefit of this really comes from what's called dual coding theory.
When you experience something in a visual way, but then also experience it in, for example, a verbal or a written way, then it increases the retention because your brain has two different things that it can pull from to recall the event. And then another aspect of this is it helps reinforce self-discipline.
So if you're journaling on a regular basis, you have a habit, either I'm doing it first thing in the morning to recall yesterday, or I'm doing it last thing in the evening to recall the events that have happened throughout the day.
And one of the things that I think also there can be a benefit from doing this is that if you're stopping and you're taking time to be intentional about recalling the events from the day, when you lay down to go to sleep, you're much less likely to then have that time where you're having swirling thoughts, where you're trying to put your head on your pillow, and you're more likely to leave it on the paper when you had taken that time to journal before you went to bed.
But also it creates this sense and feeling of discipline, like, oh, I have accomplished I sat down to do this task and I'm doing this on a regular basis. And when you keep accomplishing something over and over again, it does make you feel like, oh, hey, I am being successful in this area.
And so that goes along with what you're saying there, Ruth, we're doing this and having that self-discipline, but also reviewing what's going on throughout the day and kind of helping to get out your mind really can go a long way to help you reduce stress. Us. I think another benefit for that third type of journaling, where it's kind of a habit, is that it really does help improve your communication skills. Because journaling helps to refine your writing skills.
It gives you a place to practice expressing thoughts clearly, concisely. And then over time, if you're doing this consistently as a habit... Writing regularly helps you learn how to express your thoughts and emotions more effectively and clearly, and that will translate also into your verbal communication. And so overall, it'll improve your communication skills.
So really, when we look at today, I know we started with doing journaling without using it as keeping a record, but the three different types that we talked about today really does have different benefits, and they can serve you in different ways.
And so if you are opposed to journaling altogether, you might not be one that will do it as part of a daily routine or a habit, but you might just turn to journaling for maybe one of the first two reasons where it really does help you provide a place to process through and facilitates that emotional recovery. Because sometimes when we're recovering from trauma, It provides that safe, private place to process through those emotions, reflect on your experience.
And a lot of times that reflective practice is a crucial part of the healing process after traumatic events or even during the traumatic events. So maybe you're using it for that, where it's a place to process or where you just feel overwhelmed and it's more of a tactical strategy where you're writing all your thoughts down, your journaling, and then where you're coming up with a priority list and a plan on what are my next action steps.
And so this week, I want you to sit down and try to journal. If you are planning on it becoming a habit, then that's great. Use it daily. But then look, where are you at in your life right now? And can it be used to help maybe process through something heavy that you're going through right now? Or can it help you feel less overwhelmed? And then we would love to hear over in the Facebook group if you are a journaler, if you are opposed to journaling, but you're willing to try it out.
Definitely go over there and share your experiences. All right, you guys, we hope you have a great day. And remember, your mind is a powerful thing. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy. We hope that you enjoyed today's episode and found it helpful. If so, would you take 30 seconds and share it with a friend? Also, we'd love for you to leave us a review on Apple Podcast. Podcast. It lights us up to know that this podcast is helping you.
If you have any questions or a topic you'd like discussed in future episodes, visit our Facebook group. Just click the link in the description below. Although we are mental health providers, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. If you are struggling with persistent mental health issues, chronic marital issues, or feeling hopeless or suicidal, You are not alone. Help is available.
Please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988. Thank you again for joining us on Mr. and Mrs. Therapy. Remember, there's always hope and there's always help. Music.