Mini Crush #97

Home Improvement he would go. And I never saw the Santa Claus movies, which you're gonna shame me for having not seen Elf, and you haven't seen the Santa Claus. The Santa Claus always struck me as a children's movie. Isn't Elf kind of a children's movie? The Santa Claus? That's a good question, Chuck that it was a Disney film, Okay. I always thought of it as being kind of Elf, Like, I know, it's not as funny or as revered, but

it's probably PG as well. I would say it had some you know, Tim Allen wasn't really a children's entertainer per se. Al Right, So the original Santa Claus movie was in n I was in my fifth year of college, so for me, it was not on my rate. For me, it was part of the fabric of my reality. And I think that may be the thing with me and Elf, like maybe I don't know, it's not in the of your reality. No, it is now clearly you've you've shoved it into the fabric of my reality pretty aggressively, might

I add um? But no, I really want to see it. But the Santa Claus U I saw it in the theater, so I can't really speak to whether it's a good movie or not. It probably isn't if I'm being honest, be honest, No, I always try to be don't fucking lie. Hey man, it's Christmas. I would never what happens when you lie at Christmas? Does that? Does that not bode well?

You get that lump? Yeah. I asked Ruby this morning and said, Ruby, so do you think you're going to be in Santa Claus's uh, naughty list or nice list? Because you know, sometimes you don't cooperate, and we're in a big phase of trying to get cooperation. So we're talking about a lot of the Santa card And she said m M. I think I'd be in both, she said, because sometimes I cooperate and sometimes I don't. So she's in the middle. Yeah, and very stute. She's probably in

the naughty and nice list. How does that work? Though? It's gotta it's gotta shake out one way or the other. Santa, it's fake, no what she gets gifts, no matter what. All right, that's true. Do you think there was ever a parent that really went the full mile and like put like coal and the stocking and gave no presents? Oh? Probably in the old days, like in the thirties. Yeah, yeah, although coal is expensive, that's true. That's true. They needed

to heat their homes. Well, then you just take it and you know, it's more of the gift for the parents, really right for the household. Just take it out of the stock, out of the stocking, into the fire or the furnace. Yeah. What's that shirt you got on? So the shining doesn't say anything? Or is it just his face? I can't see the bottom, Okay, but I got it at the timber Line Lodge gift shop at the Portland, Oregon Airport, because the timber Line Lodge is the external

uh for the at the timber Line Lodge store. They sell a lot of shining memorabilia and we're sitting a little key fobs for the over you know, like like a hotel key for Overlook. I got a bunch of those. Um. They have really great hats too. I always buy a hat there. The Portland Airport is pretty great. All the stuff they sell there is all super local. Even have like a whiskey kiosk of like this really pricey local whiskey and it's a really great airport duty free. I

don't think so. It was quite expensive. I love those old motel key key chains. That's what it is. It's sort of like a diamond shade, the old piece of plastic or Buddy Gail the danger Oven. Coots sent me one does I say Coots? You did cos it was from Jaws and it referenced quint very It's very nice. I'll check it out. It's one of my favorite gifts. Digging through your drawers, No you're not, okay, fine, Well, what I'm trying to think of is what key I want to use it for because it can't fit in

my pocket. Would be my everyday key for me. I used it as for an extra key that I would maybe give to guests. Okay, that's a good idea. But I don't have a key on my door anymore. You don't have any friends, so that was that was a joke. Obviously have all the friends in the world. Weirdly, harsh, No, I have a digital entry now in my house, so I don't have a key house key, and you don't exactly you just give a code. I have it. Yeah, I give a code. I have my key fob for

my car, and that's it. You don't even have a single don't have a shed, kind of shed, not one key. What are you gonna do with this is a fob? Well, like you said, give a well I could attach the code to a piece of paper. You need to buy a second home and make it your old just so you can use that key. That's a great idea. No, we're trying this log line and thing again because I screwed it up so bad last time. Oh wait, so you you were a little more clear in your instructions.

I was this is what I said, mini crush. Okay, let's try this log line thing again, but with a Christmas angle, right, an original log line for a Christmas movie. We haven't seen yet. That's that's gonna be fun two sentences. Max, I was very specifically, that's that's how you do it there, Chuck, well done. Jonathan Cooley says a jaded retail executive finds himself perpetually reliving the same Christmas Eve. It's Christmas for ever.

That's very funny, not bad. It's sort of a combination of uh ebenee'z are Scrooge wonderful Life and it's a wonderful life and groundhog Day. Yeah, kind of coolie good idea. Groundhog Day is kind of a Christmas movie, isn't it? Uh not at all. It's not do on groundhog Day. No, but isn't it that being Christmasy at some point? No? No, it takes place. Yeah, that's right. It might feel that way because because of the snow. There's a lot of snow, and there's a isn't there like a like a snow

globe situation in it or something? Now I'm thinking of st elsewhere. I'm just gonna let you do this, Okay, you know what go on with the with your game, your reindeer game. Joshua Hall says Carol is the last person on Earth who believes in Santa, and she's got twelve days to keep Christmas alive. Twelve days of Christmas, Carol. These are good. It's pretty good boy, Christmas Carol. Hollywood, are you listening. Hollywood's always listening. They have spies, Mike

Mead says, dash or Dancer, Prancer and Vixen. Do you know the story of Sprinter? Is this like sponsored content for sprint? No? I think uh. I think it's just maybe a new reindeer, new reindeer that no one knows about. So here we go. This could be fun. We could add a little bit of detail of these, so maybe Sprinter.

It's almost like an Elf type story where there's sort of a fish out of water kind of situation where Sprinter is the reindeer that was for the time for good because Sprinter like took off and did his own thing, and now sprinters back and wants a piece of the action. Okay, not bad, something like that. Sure, I don't know. Just spitball in here, chuck it all right. It's like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer meets uh boondock Saints. I love that. Yes,

maybe Sprinter two. He's got a hard edge to him, and the other reindeers kind of don't like his vibe because he's a little aggressive. He smokes a lot, you know. Yeah, he harasses the female reindeer, he really does. He's a real jerk. He's a real jerk. He's almost like a Gordon Gecko type figure. Maybe that's it. He went off and made his fortune on Wall Street, uh, and then came back because maybe he went bust, but he doesn't. But he's not telling anybody that that's what it is.

He lost everything because he was a jerk and he had a real coke problem. But he comes back and he still got that one nice suit. He's got that one nice suit, and he tries to make everyone think that he's coming back you know, for his own for like, you know, to to be part of the family. But he's actually broke and he's got and now he's trying to hustle his way into being one of the replace Rudolph. Perhaps I don't know. Yeah, And Vixen finds him out

and he's like, you can't tell anybody like I need this. Yeah, yeah, well this is good. All right. Next let me see here. I wanna the Seth Seth McFarland. Sean McFarland, top fan, forget the naught of your nice list for this Killer Santa that was Live or Die. It's more of a tagline. But that's good. It's like Saw meets Santa Claus. That's good. This is good. This is good stuff. Guys. David Gooch, the Gooch, one of our oldest friends, says, okay, but

I got five words for you. Gritty Santa Claus origin story, Santa Claus meets Joker. That's pretty good. What what what would it be? Do you think? Mm hmm would it be well, you'd have to make the North Pole sort of a hard scrabble, which it would be. Let's be honest. You know you don't live in the North Pole in the lap of luxury, right, you know you're it's it's a survival game. Yeah, yeah, people are. There's only so much wood and coal to go around exactly. So the cartel,

the coal cartel, cole cartels get involved. That's when that's when it gets crazy. Yeah. I like it in Santa. And also what happens is, you know with the uh, you only get so much sunlight, so everyone starts skill crazy snow blind snow blind, snow Blind, the Santa Claus story, the story of Chris Kringle, and that's spelled with Kay's right, Yeah, Deutsche Santa Claus, which is the O G. Right, it's the O G. Yeah. Uh. Let me see here. J Fraser creepy Santa movie. He sees you when you're sleeping,

but other times too. I love that. Not No more needs to be said about that. Not bad. Patrick Gorman, one of our oldest friends, says, Santa's daughter has to take over Christmas because her brother, who was supposed to take over the family business, is missing. She learns the darker side of Christmas by trying to find out trying to find her rebellious brother. This is like all the movies we've been talking about. Come mind, Yeah, why is everyone going dark? There's a mystery here though, so I

love the mystery element to it. And yeah, I'm I'm my imaginations running wild here, Chuck, Okay, let's keep going with this. This is good. Mike interest, and I think this first time we've heard from Mike Welcome. A screenwriter crowd sources ideas for a movie through his podcast Influence until the Spirit of Christmas changes his way. That's what we're doing right now. That's what we're doing right now. That's a good one. That's very meta. I like that.

Let me see this is not bad, har Old. Friend Melinda Beclau says, careful with that ax, because this year Christmas trees are fighting back sentient evil Christmas trees. That's pretty good. Like the trees from The Wizard of Oz that's always scared the shift out of me as a kid. Imagine them like rooting out of the ground and then their big root feet coming at you. There's a new Hulu show coming up about a creepy tree. Yeah, keep going,

I'll find it. Let me see here. Some of these are taglines, but that's okay, Brian Long, The tradition of Christmas is dying. A group of hip city dwellers rediscover the magic of having a winter celebration. The burden of shopping has gone, and a new level of life experiences is discovered that includes their families that they're trying to escape. Okay,

not bad. Into the Dark uncovers the horrors of the IDEs of March in Creepy Treehouse All this is the same one I saw an ad like on Instagram where it was literally a creepy tree kind of lurking over a little girl. Interesting. I just it just struck me as like that hasn't been done. We did talk about the tree in Evil Dad, which did not age well, do not. Let's do a couple of more of these. Tony Klutwik says, due to climate change, Santa has to move to a colder place, so he relocates to the

heart of a ruthless politician. With Santa in his heart, the politician slowly becomes a better person and changes his evil ways. That's pretty good. Interesting. What are the steaks though, Like, does he have to kind of like, you know, is he's wrestling with this this possession at first, like he's not fully Probably he probably wakes up with heartburn. Yeah, that's how you comically show it. And then he finds himself doing nice things and it's like, what the fun

is going on? Almost like a liar liar situation exactly. It's kind of like this liar liar meets innerspace meets the Santa Claus meets Interstellar. No, all right, let's do one more. There's a lot of horror things that Santa killing people. I don't like that. Everyone can we spoil Silent Night, Deadly Night real quick. Was it a Santa character that was doing it? Was he dressed up as Santa? I don't know he saw it though I thought no, no, I saw black black Christmas. Was there a Santa figure

in that one? It was just Christmas, just Christmas time in a sorority house. I don't know about Silent Night, Deadly Night. I feel like there was a Santa esque killer dressed up as Santa and that one. All right, we're gonna finish up with let me see here, Lisa Romana, one of our oldest friends. In the year twenty two twenty the newly Christmas established Mars Human Colony is having its first Christmas. Not bad so far, and an unforeseen

twist to the usual preparations. An unusual red spacecraft lands led by twelve very strange looking creatures. I love it, Lisa, I like it too, fantastic. Somebody just occurred to me, Um, there aren't a whole lot of really big budget Christmas movies. I think they're sort of considered like throw away seasonal fair. Yeah, like maybe we'll put fifteen million into this and then maybe it'll, like, you know, make a little bit of

money over the holidays. Maybe at the very best it'll become like an ELF cult classic that has loved It was like two million bucks and continues to which is rare. Though for Christmas movies, they're usually a flash in the pan and they're gone, right, it's rare to have a smash hit. I think those Santa Claus movies were smashed it, and they were there was a sequel, so that's, you know, a good sign, Like there's one that just came out

that I've already. It's already. I think it's just called Last Christmas, which is a reference to I think the Wham song of the same name, gave you my very next day, you gave it away, gave it away. But it has a denarious targ Arian in it from a Game of Thrones, and it it appeared to have fizzled. Yeah, I think you might be right there. Will Ferrell was offered about thirty million bucks to do an Elf sequel and he said no because like he just wanted to

let it ride. I think he was like, yeah, I think he just said, let's just not let's just not do that. Yeah, I like I got all the respect in the world for that job. I do too. I think Jon Vava wanted to do it even he went, man, sorry, I'm not doing it. No, it's really kind of a perfect little little Christmas. Let it be what it is. Let it be what it is. All right, We're gonna finish up and all with what's the most overrated Christmas movie? And why? I know your answer is elf, I can't.

I couldn't even do you have one? I don't know, Like I know you don't like Christmas films in general, so you probably find most of them overrated. I don't know, like I don't. There's so few of them that I even cross my radar. Like Christmas Story I find to be fun. Um. It sure seems like they hold it in really high esteem over there at TBS because they had play it on a loop every year. Um. And that's really the only way I've seen it. I think I've said this before on the show. I've never seen

it in one sitting, from beginning to end. I've just seen it piecemeal, like in a weird kind of jigsaw puzzle order. You know you're not into Christmas movies? Are you into Christmas? I like Christmas, but are you into Christmas? Okay, I like Christma. I'm just trying to get you know. I enjoy Christmas here, I enjoy Christmas. Just wondering if there was any any deep feelings that where you're like, you know, I really don't love it. I don't not

love it. I especially love it with the kids and stuff. No, and then you're making me question my my, my. No, I'm not not trying to do that. I just want to make sure everyone knows everything about you, all of everything in my deepest, darkest Christmas secrets. Grant what he says. Polar Express digital Animation's best example of uh, why not to lean too hard into the realm of realistic characters creepy and off putting. I didn't see it speaking of that,

if you watched The Irishman, yeah, uh not yet. It's very good, but there's a couple of moments where you're too weird with a very early on and then and then you forget about it or they start being much more subtle about it. But when the characters are like meant to be super young, it looks like a video game cut scene. It's a little weird, and it's like a Scorsese directed video game cut scene. It's very good though.

It's very very good film, and and y'all movie crushers call me on that if you think it was a non issue. Obviously didn't affect my enjoyment of the overall picture. Case he's seen it four times. Yeah, so that's like

fourteen hours of watching that. I don't fully understand. I thought it was good, but I thought it was just very Scorsese like, because he's kind of got a formula guy's got, and that's why I thought it was kind of like bullshit when he's like calling out the Marvel movies for not being cinema when they take a lot of cues from his formula. Guardians of the Galaxy with all the seventies music and the big you know, um you know scenes and montages using all of like seventies music,

totally a nod Discorssy. I don't understand where he's coming from when he's saying that, when he himself has made the same kind of gangster picture over and over and over again. They're all great, but I just think it's a little bit of the pot calling the kettle black. Alright, hot take contake everybody, uh. Nick Kelly says it's a wonderful life. It's only popular because of a copyright issue that granted its exposure. Didn't you point that out recently?

I learned that recently. It's maybe, but what the deal was was like it got buried and then it didn't get good reviews. At the time, it wasn't a success, and then it got I think it like it's copyright had expired or it was in the public domain, and so a television station and started playing it every year for Christmas, and it became this because it's not even a Christmas set story. I think there's Christmas in it,

isn't there. I don't know. This guy said it's not even a Christmas movie, but that's that's basically He's absolutely right. There is a like the copyright it entered into the public domain, I think, and then uh TV station was able to play it without paying for it, and it and it became kind of this like new cult kind of thing. Mike Burdette says, this thread breaks my heart. Ha ha ha. It's definitely the Santa clause. Tim Allen

is not and has never been funny. It's a miracle he didn't ruin Galaxy Quest well, Mike, I'm kind of with you. I never thought Tim Allen was very funny, but that's my cold heart, Lisa. To share a one of our old friends is love. Actually it's boring and neither romantic nor heartwarming. Okay, people as your love it them holding up those cards. They hold up those cards. That's all I know about. I don't know anything, but there's a thing about holding up cards with things written

on them. That's it. Yeah. That guy that plays the dude in The Walking Dead is in it. Um who plays Rick in the Walking the Sheriff, Yeah, Lucas something. Anyway, he's good. He's good. He would de Porchfest one year. He's around all over town. Let me see here, A bunch of people are saying it's a wonderful life. Ah. Rachel mccafee says, truly overrated is and everyone talks about them being so good and musties, but they're actually boring

and underwhelming. Wonderful life and White Christmas. I haven't seen White Christmas. Which one is that I haven't seen a lot of these old school ones. Yeah, what about Miracle On I haven't seen that either. Yeah, that one involves like the Santa Claus you don't think is real, but then spoiler alerties he's real. I have no I think that's the deal. They remade that one a couple of

times too, I believe. Kayla mh one of our oldest friends, says a Christmas Story, I don't like a single character in the whole movie, and I don't understand why people love it. You know you like what you like. Everyone another vote. Maria Basquez A Christmas Story. I hate that god damn movie so much. Makes me want to rip my hair out when they play it for twenty four hours. Wow, all right. Patrick Gorman, one of our old friends, is Nightmare before Christmas. No, that's a good one. That's one.

That's that's one that I I love. I love it. He says. This is his crit the hot topicization of that movie took it further into the zeitgeists and ever deserved on its own merits. I don't think that's true. I don't like the hot topic ization of it, don't get me wrong, but it's a feat of animation, uh genius. I mean just the fact that they chose to do a movie that way and sort of set the tone for all of the cool like like a Studios and you know, Henry Selleck is the animator that did all that,

you know, based on Tim Burton's vision. And the music is great. It's a fun movie. It's a romp. I've never seen it, what are you kidding me? It's great watch. There are a lot of Christmas movies I haven't seen now that I think of it. It's beautiful too, because it's a hybrid. It's if you don't like Christmas, you got your Halloween. Yeah, do you know what my deal is? And all is I can't. I really love Christmas and I get into the spirit of it, but I can't

watch fifteen of those movies. You know, that's too much. Like I watch a three Christmas movies a year, and they're always elf a Christmas story and uh maybe one of the healthy green stool Christmas. I just think I can't take too much of it. Ruby's a little too young for a Nightmare because it's a little dark at times. But I think she'll really like it when she turns maybe like six or something like. Yeah, yeah, it's it's really cool. Well, there's a whole world awaiting her, big

time of movies. You can't wait. You guys got Disney plus yet Oh yeah, yeah, we've been We've been watching a lot of Disney contin a lot of good content there. It is. It's good, you know. I'm I'm all in favorite. Say what you will about Disney, but um, they do have a lot of good stuff, true, even if they just bought some of it. Our old friend Debbie Franga Duka says, they're all kind of the pits. It's time for some new, better holiday movies. WELLI Gennevan Valen, one

of our old friends. Live Action Grinch, the original cartoon is pretty flawless. Uh, and it didn't need a remake or reimagining. I like the live action Grinch with Jim Carey. Yeah, I'm a big fan. My my daughter's baby sister. Um sounds confusing. Uh, they call me Uncle Nolan, my daughter's mom's uh new baby. Um. They she calls that movie Spooky Grinch, spooky Grinch, spooky Grinch because he's he's a

little creepy. Sure. Stelln Carlson's has Die Hard for sure gets a lot of quaint eighties and the Salzer point nostalgia points, but the end is just a basic trope filled action movie, nothing more. Oh my god Stelen. I don't want to say our relationship is over, but that puts a dent into First of all, I think it's still up for debate as to whether that's a Christmas movie or not. Well, I think we settled that last year when we had the writer say it's a Christmas

he said it. Well, he did say that. Yeah, on your show he read a letter. That's right. Yeah, our show, somebody read the yes. I'm sorry, I was confusing. I read it on our own show. This one here that I don't expect you remember last year and all you don't remember last week. That's not Chuck, that's unkind. That's unkind Chuck, and I take great issue with that. Let me see here, Mike Doyle, Love actually is such a piece of trite piece of I'm sorry, I need to

get this right. Love actually is such a trite piece of shallow nonsense that holds up some of the most unhealthy and selfish relationships as this wonderful thing and the nine eleven part that's just I mean, come on, there's a nine eleven part. I don't know, man, I've never seen it. That seems messed up. A lot of people are hating on Polar Express as well. Molly Thibodeaux. I can't even get myself to watch it all the way through. And I've tried creepy animation in the Uncanny Valley. Yeah,

that that was early too, in those days. It was it wasn't that Zemeckis. He really was into that for like a minute. He did like a baowolf for him two and then kind of abandoned it because it was because everyone hates spooky trash. Yeah, it wasn't good trash. It was good. That is pretty good. Um Yeah that No, I'm that's so not into that at all. Yeah. Let animation be animation, Let it be stylized. That's the whole point. Otherwise, pay actors. You know A miracle and thirty fourth Street.

That's from Jessica Dalba. She says, only because I can never stay awake. Zach pointer elf there, I said at the premises, just too far out there and acting as blah, too far out there. That seems like an oddly uh it's weird antic comment there. Who is this? It's one of our old pal Zack pointers. I'm sorry, Zach, I'm not sure the best everyone's allowed a dumb opinion every now and well, you know our opinions. You know what

they say, No, everyone's got him like butts. Is that the same, you know opinions, everyone's got them like but yeah. I like that. It sounds like how Ruby would summarize that quote. Yeah, I have the mind of a three year old, except she would say but cheeks. Uh. Let me see. One of our old friends, Luke Harkle wrote says, Christmas Vacations some really funny moments, but overall it just doesn't work for me. Christmas Vacations when I watch yeah, yeah,

so maybe there's like four that I see. You give that one a shot. Christmas Vacation. I saw a vacation the first one watched on a plane, and I didn't like it. I didn't love it. I didn't love it, um hey man, no shame and not liking Chevy Chase. Hey, I just I just didn't like. There's so much you know, build up over over it that I was like expecting to be like blown away. I also didn't love Animal House. I think it's like a style of comedy that maybe I don't want to say it's been improved upon, but

it's just it's a little bit of its time. But I also I love mel Brooks movies and I love that comedy, so it occupies some middle ground kind of It's definitely not mel Brooks. No, it's not. It's much. Yeah, I'm just saying, like I think, uh, well, you haven't seen it yet, but Jojo Rabbit has a bit of mel Brooks DNA. I can see that coursing through. I cancent see that it's from the trailer, which resolutely very much something we need more of these days. All right,

let's finish it off here with Brian Thomas. He has a nice little rant on love. Actually, I think it's overhyped. I think there's some gross and cream piece stuff in there. I can forgive the unrealistic parts because it's full of Christmas magic and evolves those rom com tropes like meat cutes. That's all fine, but that wedding filmer needs to get his ship together and stop stalking his friend's wife. Be

a professional man. And the dude he leaned on his British accident just accent to seduce for women at once. They made the women out to be such idiots based on outdated stereotypes, and they're running through the airport thing was so overdone even then. Anyway, I feel better getting that off my chest. Now is it Andrew Lincoln that does the British accent? Because he is British? He he plays you know, he's the guy that plays uh the sheriff on on Walking Dead because he's in fact a

brit I wonder if it's him. I don't know. And you know what, I don't even want to see this movie now now, I I've I've never really I don't like rom coms really so it is much beloved though by many people, and it seems like equally hated. It does seem that way, very divisive film. Who is that? Alan Rickman, Laura Lenny, who like her it says it's a pretty much crazy cast. I mean Mr Bean who directed it? Is someone super famous and uh, I don't know directed by Oh Hugh Grants. He didn't directed it,

he's in it. Richard Curtis directed it. And what else did he do? Let me see here the Bridget Jones diary kind of situation he did, notting Hill, he four weddings in a funeral, all of those Hugh Grant romcom Jam's Bridget Jones. Mr Bean Okay, I get it, Mama Mia. He's that guy. He is that guy. Well, good for him. He's a big time director. He does appear to be so alright, No, I think that's all the time we have. Uh, since it's December, we want to which everyone a very

happy holiday. And as we always like to remind people, hollidays are very tough for some people, uh in a profound way. And we are thinking about you for sure, and uh, you know, reach out to someone if you need to talk this Christmas and if you have a wonderful, loving, supportive family and you love Christmas, just um be thankful and grateful for that. Yeah, And I mean it's it's always easy to think, oh, I'm gonna burden somebody. I don't want anybody. I don't want to like be a imposition.

But I guarantee you of the time that's not how other people see it. And people are always happy to be reached out to and uh, you know, asked to extend a helping hand of conversation, especially especially at that time of Yeah. All right, so merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone, however you choose to celebrate, and Merry Christmas to you KNOWL to you as well. Chuck and I

We'll see you in January. You got it. For more podcasts for My Heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.