Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.
I'm not a perfectionist.
When detail oriented, you're a perfectionista chic, you're detail oriented.
Yes, yeah, And I always say I got that her mom like the devils and the details, like she you know, when we had parties and we had it was always those little things. And you know, I feel like people would always say when I would you know, I just grew up knowing that, and I would always think, like, gosh, that is that's care that went into that. Like you know when she like would wrap gifts and put little you know, the glue gun and spend so much time it.
Would be on there. Do you remember how intricate those were?
Oh?
Man, But it was it was all of the details that when you receive that gift, wow, oh my gosh, just getting the gift was amazing, right.
But it's yeah, and it was as much for the person as it was for her because she enjoyed it. She had a passion for it. She would make it very personal, like yeah, and I think that's super important. I mean, now I just do stick on bows.
That's like I love a good stick on bow.
That's the only thing. Like I'm crafty, just like her. But I've rebelled against the bows well because I don't think I could ever make them right.
I'm curmudgeon now, so I've shifted into a home place where I used to do the stick on bows. And then I'm like, it's so bad for the environment. Do we really even need that on there? What about all this wrapping paper? It goes in the landfill. So now I'm I'm gonna hand it over. No, but I wanted to, like I reuse bags or sometimes a shopping bag, and I'll just put tape on it. And is that? I mean? I see fireworks?
VI simple tape? Boy bends going one? So do you just put like straight up scotch tape? Do you like folded and stick it underneath? Do you crease? I've seen you wrap. You're good, You're good.
You used to put more care in the wrapping. I still do the folds, but I do the straight up scotch tape without the double sticky because we had we kind of had to like hide the tape so you didn't see the tape.
When you say we, who's we?
Like? We? You?
You?
And I like how we learned?
Yeah, at Christmas time, the birthday time. I remember sitting up and we had the weighted tape thing that we would use.
Yeah, totally, was like, oh well there was a wait are we talking about? Like there was there was a black one, the family one, or like you and I, Oh there was?
We didn't have one in our room? Did we not?
In a room? I thought you were like fast forwarding like in our twenties when we wrap gifts and do things like that.
No, no, I was talking about growing up. But did you never use double sided tape? Yeah? Of course? Yeah? Yeah, and then when do we do you still use the sided tape straight up scotch Yeah?
No, one side? Yeah, yeah, okay exactly. We've graduated movies that that was our thing.
So we watched so many movies, movies and over. I was telling my girls this the other day. We used to watch movies one hundred times, right VHS. We'd watched the same movie thirty times?
We did? We did?
Yeah? What about what was that movie? You made me watch it? I loved it and I would sit with you and watch it. Oh, I will give you a hint, Jodie Foster, Yeah, how did you know? Do you know which one.
We're related? No? Watch other's minds. Oh gosh, and Billy Billy, yes his name, ye, I wanted to marry that guy. Can we look up a few single Billy William mc McNamara, Billy McNamara, right, do you remember the movie name Summer? Uh? Some remember Summer Lovers?
Lovers? Was not that?
Nope, nope, nope, Oh my god, it was called remember Secret Admire. Oh my god, that was a good one. Oh I remember that one kind of ruined my life? Was that?
Thomas Howe?
Correct, Laurie Laughlin, Yeah, that's right, Hilly Preston.
We have to move on because I don't even remember the title. I don't even know the movie title. Stealing Home, that's right.
Stealing Home for the one that is one of my favorite movies.
Made you guys over and over and over.
Sorry, because you were young then, and that.
Probably No, that was not traumatizing. The exercises and all the horror films that you and mom used to watch and then I would sit there, those were traumatizing. That was not make him. I still remember the scene somewhere in Egypt and the digging, and it was just the yeah too, but.
Yeah, uh huh oh, yeah, that was Exorcist too, I mean that was I'm so, I'm sorry because you were young and you weren't into them.
Like, for instance, when mom first introduced me to horror films, I believe I was four and it was in Palm Springs and it was Return of the Body Snatchers, the one with Donald Southwy And I can see myself sitting right now in the chair on Dad's lap actually, which is odd because he didn't like horror films and we watched it and I was into it.
No, and you always had Yeah, so you got to know dad.
You know, we say read the room like you read the room, but you never were into them. And yet I forcibly, literally when you were young, forcibly made you watch them because.
Did you hold me down?
Yeah?
Or I just wanted to be with you so I'd sit there with you. Yeah, both are.
Just Oh what was I watching? We were watching once something in the projection room, but not on the projection the screen, not the big house, not the man or our first house together.
Yeah, our first Yeah, because we would watch movies there. That's where the TV was, and we'd pull up those big chairs.
In a room that big.
We would watch watch the TV and it was.
Not small, but it wasn't big forty two inch like, not ginormous compared Oh that was big back then.
That was probably big back then, yeah, because remember TV's were like this big.
I don't know, because what about the one and the den? That one's like, oh that was bigger, bigger. But we never went in there.
We always would go in the projection room there.
And pull up chairs and sit in front. But there was some movie I had on and you didn't want to watch it. I don't know why I wind you in there or something. When you left it, that's when you walked through the office and I ran and tackle. Do you remember it differently?
That was the same night day, That was the same day. No, I didn't put two and two together, but I certainly remember the time you tackled me. And I also remember it. You probably had no one else to watch it with, and so you needed But that's when we were closer and you you would have no one else, so your friends wouldn't be around, and then you'd be like, Jean, come here, fandle come here, and you would call me in or if you needed to go shopping, then I
would go showan pee did you ever know? Yeah, I told you this. I love this story that I would pray at night. So remember so remember my room. It was green, right, and I had those shutters, those blinds, the shutter blinds, and Jerry would take the dogs out at a certain point in the light would go on. But every time security guard slash like family friend. He was so close with us.
That was the great thing. Like growing up, people would be like, oh my gosh, you had stuff working for you. They all we were close, became family, like we were all a family.
Yeah. So he would take the dogs out, and I remember I'd be sitting in my bed and that was my talking to God moment. I'd be like, okay, okay God. So after one of the days of either shopping or movies or something, I would be like, please God, please have Tory. W'd be nice to meet tomorrow. And then it would be Monday and I would come down to breakfast. You'd be like, don't look at me. I don't want to watch this. I don't want to watch tom and Jerry, I want the news get away, And I was like.
I was trying. I had current events in fifth grade. I had to act like I knew what I was doing.
There were boys there, but in all fairness, I will tell you this because I didn't. I was thinking about this the other day. I also started thinking and just doing what i'd do working with people for a living and helping families and whatnot.
I was like, you know what, my brother an amazing life coach. If you don't know, thank you. But but I was thinking, if you know me and listen to this, then you know him and you knew that.
But I was thinking about this, thank you. I was. I was like, you know what, I tried to really put myself in your position because at some point, and especially through early years of therapy, I looked at it as just from my point of view, but it was like I even see Sage and Lotus right, like they're two years apart and they get into things. I was like, as an older sibling, there are probably many times where I was irking you or I was annoying or right,
and so I mean, why why do you think? Why do you think you.
Want my attention? Yes, I understand, but when you're five and I'm like eleven, and I'm like trying to be cool or hang out, you have zero tolerance, which goes back to what you're saking.
That's true.
So what I know not when I see my kids do it? I do because I remember I was like, I see both sides now and I'm like, gosh, it was super annoying to be like.
Stop, stop, stop, right, and then I wouldn't stop, and then you would blow up and get annoyed so understandably.
Right, and then you cry, and then I get in trouble.
I cried a lot. Do you remember I cried a lot? I was. I was a sensitive child, which paid off for you. It paid off for me.
I did not cry a lot, and I'm still paying for it now. Who pushing your all down?
You're a you're a pusher, but you're frying, right, Clarify that, I'm a pusher of emotions. You push emotions down, but you're working on that right right. Yes. I don't know if you had this, but I remember in in elementary school, randomly I would I would see someone that I saw every day, but all of a sudden it was like I'm in love, and then I would be in love. And then I remember I worked up the courage to
ask Michelle Lee out, and I asked her out. Whatever that means in third grade and not from not slanding right, No, not just asked the classmate out and she said yes. And then two days later she broke.
Up with me. And Michelle Lee I remember Chelle, and.
She broke up with me, and I literally loved her. I was in bed, he was gutted, gutted, crying with a box of tissues, and you came in and helped me. You made it better. You were like, what's going on, what's wrong? And I'm she broke up with me, and you were like oh. And then at some point you invented Gertrude.
See that wasn't all bad. I didn't just beat you up.
No, you gave me a pretend friend on the other end of the phone line.
I did.
It was an old woman named Gertrude.
This is true. Does your mind and bring whatever it is? Like? You're telling me the story and reminding me of Michelle Lee and everything, and then all of a sudden, my memory. You know, people go back and be like, oh, I remember that. The way I remember it is my brain. I see a picture of it.
Yeah, totally, I can see almost like a video. I see the scene. Okay, yeah, is.
That common is that something is that genetic.
I haven't had kids from a genius on this, I would say, I'm very visual, you're very visual. We're both creative. Yes, I do think people can be very visual. Some people aren't. Some people are more auditory or they remember certain things that they see. But visual, by the way, is great for change. If you want to change.
You see you just said change and I shut down. Proceed.
Great for glowing up okay, oh oh okay, yeah, see where I'm going with that. It's it's a great glow up because if you can see it, if you can picture it, and you can actually create the scene, then your body is more willing to get on board. You're like, wait, I've seen it. I can make it happen. If you don't have a reference point, very hard to make it happen for people, just positive affirmation alone doesn't always work.
You have to actually see it and be there, and once you do, that's when change happens.
So to that point, can you go back in time to a visual of something that you know led to something you perceived maybe as trauma? Emotional trauma is something that has stayed with you your entire life. If you can see that scene specifically, can you go back and change it?
Hands down? So okay, stay with me though for a second. You can't change the event.
We're in bed.
I'm not going you can't change the event. I'm present, right, thank you, I'm glad, I'm liking this.
You can't change the event. If something traumatic happened, that thing happened, and I never want to dismiss that or excuse that. That's important. But it's almost like now with the with smartphones. How what happens with trauma is something becomes static, like a static picture where it doesn't move, it's frozen in your head, and that traumatic event. You
just see that event happening over and over. But now like with the iPhones, when you put your finger on it and you see before and you see after, the live, the live, if you can go back, and usually it's done therapeutically, if you can see a little bit of the before and a little bit of the after, your perspective actually changes because you realize, as a parent, right, oh that wasn't a great Let's say a parent did something right, or a brother or a sister or like,
oh that moment was really hard and that that hurt me, or that broke my heart, or but what you don't realize is the fight that they got into with their partner right before, or how stressed they were feeling, or what was going on. So when you can see things from a little bit of a different vantage point, that traumatic event that used to be crystallized and frozen in time starts to dissolve and give way to something new. And that's when you can look at it differently.
I love that again, traumas individual and this took me a long time to understand that someone's trauma might be what you perceive as ginormous, and it might be physical, it can be emotional, it can be mental. And sometimes I think we're quick to dismiss our trauma because we're like, well, it was nothing, it's.
No big deal, right. There wasn't like major sexual abuse, physical abuse, so you know, it was kind of not that bad. But even Gobora Mate talks about if the if a child is crying or screaming in a crib and a parent turns and walks away, that alone can be a traumatic event that could stick with you.
Okay, I'm going to go back to Gertrude now.
Because Okay, yeah, Gertrude, So in my.
Mind how I asked, like, can you visualize the situation? It is interesting like you were like I was in bed. It might have been a different conversation that I'm remembering you walking towards mom and Dad's room and passing our staircase, and I was you were going in and you're crying and you just like dropped to your knees and you were like.
Why oh I did that at some point too, yeah, right. I don't know if it was for the same thing.
I think it might have been later in school you were getting bullied and you didn't feel like you were it was the right elementary school, middle school. I think that was like, actually, you know what that combo where you dropped your knees and cried. I think you were in seventh grade.
No, no, no, you're remembering in seventh grade when I was going into eighth grade and I didn't want to go back to school, and we were actually at the manor and I came in your room and I was like, I was a mess. I said, I don't want to go back to school. I really don't like my school. And you were really helpful. You jumped into action because mom and dad were out that night and then they came home and you said, I think we need to
do something. He's really, really, really upset. And you suggested the school that I ended up going to because you had close friends, and you said it was smaller. I think he's really gonna like it and thrive there. And I did.
I thrived there. Thank you for Kenny and Jennifer.
Yeah, you went to bat for me on that one in.
My moments, but the one okay, so the one where Michelle Lee dumped you.
That was just in my room and you came in, but there were there were a few moments.
But okay, Gertrude, So from your perspective, how did that work?
From my perspective, I was land lines.
Back then, guys, we had land lines.
It was they would ring in the room. It was some sort of like weird push button intercom system that we had that probably looked like it was from the eighteen hundreds.
Now. I just mean like everyone had landlines then and no one has them now. But you're correct, our house was a little different than not even land every bathroom in every room.
That's right, but not only landlines. We had the rotaries back then the dial up, and if you missed a number, you would have to go all the way back, and if you were really excited, you would dial really fast and it would hurt your finger because there was that stopguard there, that metal stop guard, and when you were going really fast, you'd be like, ow, it hurts, but I can't wait to call my friend. Do you remember that?
I do?
And you know I love the long cord?
You know I love so much? Right now? Is that you're just like me? Like, while we have social clips where you can see visuals, most of this is obviously just you can hear. It's audio, you hear us, but you and I are the same. Like when you're describing something, you literally make the hand motion oh yeah. I get made fun of that for years. I'm like literally showing something with my hands of what yeah, and making the sounds as I remember them.
Yep, yep, So Gertrude. So I was. I don't know if I was sick or I was upset about something, but somehow I went to dial the phone to call the operator or something, and there was this little voice on the end, Hello.
Hello, It's Gertrue.
Yep, and I who this? And then we start. This became a thirty minute long conversation with this old woman named Gertrude that I connected with. And then Gertrude, somehow.
I think you were like getting bullied or something and something.
It was something.
It was something that like nothing was working the way everyone was saying it, and I felt like you needed like a mentor.
So I the actress in you, was like, I'm going to play a character named Gertrude.
Yeah. And it was interesting because when I called you very much like me. Now you know, I'm more like off the cuff and not like I'm not. I don't plan things. I didn't actually know the character or the voice I would use, just that I was going to be somebody calling you.
It just came to you at the moment.
You know you and I love a good prank.
So we lasted for a couple of weeks and then it somehow.
One tim right, but you responded to so much. And the funny, the ironic thing is is you know how much I hate the telephone, like, oh, free to get on the phone and back then oh oh, but I stepped up because I do step up for people I care about. I can't step up for myself, you do. I haven't stepped up for myself. I am currently working on stepping up for myself.
Allow man, say it, say it?
And I yeah, it was supposed to be like, you know, a cute two minute conversation. It went on for thirty minutes, and then you looked forward to hearing from Gertrude again, and you talked about her at the dinner table, and it was I was like, oh my gosh, it made such an impact that Gertrude had to call you back.
Yep, that went on for you. And then I think it was only a few years ago I said something about Gertrude. I was like, was that you I didn't know, shut the fuck up? What No, seriously, I don't think you ever told me. Now, just let it go. And then at one point me, I thought.
I hated him so much. I mean, again, keep in mind, we were, depending on the time of year, five to six years apart, so you know, there was a time when he was really young and I was like going through my breezing in your teen years, and he was just like, oh, she hates me.
Your teen years were rough.
Oh yeah, But I had Gertrude in my back pocket. To be like, you know what. I know there's times where you think, you know, you're just the annoying little brother and I don't like you, but I love you so much. And that was an example of a way I could show you that I loved you, but I could never tell you because it would ruin the magic of it.
Right, But that was sweet hello, true?
Oh, just that you know. And I think eventually you were probably like what happened to Gertrude? And we were all like, well, she's old, she probably died. I don't know.
And then I, yeah, you did not tell me that she died. She just went away, magically, she just went away. She went away.
She didn't you call you on your birth I don't know it was it was?
It was Gertrude. So what was it like for you growing because someone asked earlier Ruth Anne asked like, what what was it like growing up? Where? Torri?
What are we still on in our childhood at times?
Okay? So when you started nine o two one? Oh oh my god, I.
Still want to talk about our childhood? Did we have to go there yet? No?
Who are you talking to? You? Who did you just talk to? Who's Who's was? That like I talk out that was That was a very theatrical moment. Who is it? That is? Fourth? Great Oz, No, we don't have to go there. You lead this, I'll follow. I'll follow your lead.
Okay, sure, Okay. Well, I just wanted a few more stories about our child because oh my gosh, there's so many, and I think people from the outside perspective probably have a very like that there's nothing relatable about our childhood to their childhood. But we still had the sibling relationship and we still had the like the fights, the fun times, like the things that are.
All of it, all of it.
Remember the time I.
Tried to stab you. Do you remember what you tried to stab me with? Uh duh?
A letter opener?
The letter opener. And the strangest thing about you you were a little bit Remember how I talked about how Shannon was really strong. Yeah, you had some sort of weird when you gott yeah, and like you were slight. But when you got mad, you got crazy, you got the crazy eyes, you got very dramatic, and you came after me with the letter opener, and I thought I feared from my life. And the one time that you.
Resolved it a timestamp, yere I was. I remember it was. We were at our first house, not the Manor. Yeah, we moved to the Manor when I was sixteen, so maybe it was fourteen.
Yeah, fourteen, I would say, was I do on to math?
You were home?
I was nine or eight and a half.
It was either seventh or eighth grade for me, and I had just hated the phone but wanted to blend in. And it was when like all of a sudden, I just started at an all girls school and I had this new set of friends. And every night you would be on aging myself here, try line and party line or now now I don't know. It's when you push a button your ad al and you merge people. Anyway, back at eight.
Or nine, I was on tryline me.
I was setting the scenes so you could like see right, and he would like I'd be on with my friends, and you know, it was a week night. It was a long day at school and then done homework. And I went to a really academic school where I totally stood out because I was not academic. I was creative, and it was a lot for me. Homework was it was hard, and I had a tutor. But then we'd had dinner, and after dinner, that was your moment, right, I could go up, you know, showered right for bed
like Nanny had, you know, step the stage. Everybody get ready, and I could get on the phone with my friends for like an hour and everyone would be connecting. Everybody be talking anyhow, girls chat, and it's just like and and you would be at the door and I'd be sitting at my desk on the phone and I could facing the door was right next to me, to my left, and yeah, he would always be at the door, and he would always be listening. But he but he always wanted me to know he was there, like I could.
I would not.
So sad. Oh my god, I'm so okay, Okay, so go on with your story though, But I'd be.
Like, I'd like cover the phone with my hand, old school phone, and I'd be like stop going like I didn't want to, it was embarrassing, and I'd be like then I'd put the phone down for a second. I opened the door and he'd be like just listening there and he'd be like and I'd be like, get away, leep, you have to go back go to your room, like and like stop and then it would get to the point that I would.
Just go mad.
I would go bat shit fucking crazy. And at that point that is when I threw hoping the tour grabbed my crystal king Arthur like sword in the stone, pulled it up my letter opener, and I ran out and tried to stab him. Right.
Sorry, it was a release. It had to be done. No, so yes, for examples, I wasn't going to stab him literally though, the look in your eye, I get that look, so that look and it was the same look that that somehow, I don't remember what happened, but we were in the office slash other room, and I said something and you ran and lunged. I swear six feet in the air, and you, guys.
I don't do cold activity. Even back then, I failed. Jim ped me. Look, yeah I did, from like.
Ten feet away. I don't know. You were like a flying amazon frog. I don't know what happened.
Okay, so you have to admit, like, I'm pretty.
I don't see it now, But the eyes become beady, the pupils become small, huh. They jiggle back and forest, yes, to the point.
Where I can't I can feel everything's moving and my whole body, like I'm looking at someone and everything's shaking it behind my eyes.
Yeah, it go, you go haywire, like something malfunctions and then you something takes over functions and that's it.
So you know when that happened the last time, I don't well, I'm gonna tell you, Wow, you just connected so many dots. Today is the final fight Dean and I had before he put the Instagram posts saying we're in a divorce, and then he went to treatment and then you know that whole thing, the final fight when I was like okay, okay, and he was, you know, screaming and doing that, and I was like, I'm gonna take it and take it. Everything's fine, walk away, walk
away away. And then he said one thing, because you know what, it's always I hear it, I take it. I'm like no, no, no, And this is probably what happened. You probably said one final thing that just went and that's when I I gutturally was just like fuck yeah and smash my baked potato across the kitchen with inhuman strength. No one to this day, my kids were the only ones that witnessed this. And Dean, I've ever seen a baked potato fly.
Like that for the visual? Did you smash it first or did you just take it and throw it?
Okay, so how.
Did you crumple the potato and then throw it?
No?
Oh no, no, no, no, it was you know, we like a good baked potato. And this, I think, what are the to me growing up? The three things that we were very like There were three things that we really loved that were made a certain way. And I'm blinking on what I just said the other day, but a baked potato because Mom would always make it a specific way and really make it the right way, which I have now passed on to my kids. They're always like, Mom, if we're out and your.
Sandwiches like those sour dough sandwiches with the mayonnaise, and everything was perfect and you'd eating.
To those mayonnaise and cheese and it seems so simple, you guys, but it was magic magic, And people are like, I don't know, and you know what it might be something like, oh, it's because your mom made it for you, and maybe it was that, and maybe my kids when I make a baked potatoes like my mom made it, you know what, I don't think it's she made the best sandwich and the tuna sandwich.
I was telling someone this the other day, like the best Do you remember the soggy tuna sandwich that somehow sounds so gross but actually tastes so good with white refrigerator right, the leftover tuna sandwich so good. It is probably so disgusting for so many people, but yeah, it was a thing. So so the baked potato is sacred to you, and you took.
What was the third thing that that were the same about baked potato tuna solad sandwich. I know you mentioned the cheese and tomato, but there was something else. It was something about blending things a certain way with a certain amount of each little dash of something that made it perfection. Do you remember it was?
I don't remember what it was.
Now now we just became. I took it from something that was super relatable and now just made us very unrelatable.
Was it the steaks?
No?
No, no, no, oh oh I didn't. We got a snort though, So that's good.
Having fun.
So relatable. So you remember the nights that we would have caviar and it would be the bleanies and the sour cream and the chopped bag, and.
You did have or toast point?
What did it entail? Uh? Bread, white bread or little bleanies or toast points. I guess it was caviar, chopped egg yolk, caviar, maybe a little bit of chopped onion and lemon.
Chopped egg, egg yolks. Yeah, like the eggs separated from the whites.
Because you had to have said the egg yolk.
We didn't say the whites.
No, we didn't do the whites. Did you put whites on?
Oh, you're right, I didn't. It was always offered though I.
Like them real. Oh I never did the whites. It was always the crumbled yolk.
Yeah, right, see, yeah, you did leave one thing off though, what oh the crumb brush.
Didn't I say sour cream on the bread? Did I not? Did I just leave off sour cream? I thought that was the first thing I said. Replay, I don't. I don't care the replace.
I don't care if I'm right, but I'm superfering competitive. Oh that's gonna send me over that edge. We're gonna let it mark my words. We're gonna listen back to this. You did not say sour cream.
The relatability factor right now through the roof.
My kids won't let me put celery in the tuna. Mom always put celery in the tuna. I mean, you know, it really bothers me.
It bothers you crunch.
Can we talk about pickles?
Yeah? Are you a pickle person or no pickle? I don't know this about you. What you love pickles?
My brother isn't.
No.
If I like pickles, I don't. I think you like pick you have you have to go there? Huh Oh, I thought you were making some sort of reference. Yeah, you only like girkin pickles.
If I was making a sexual reference, it wouldn't be girkins. I would like aka cornishans because they're very smart.
I'm too used to you. I right, fine, So the gurkins, for anyone who doesn't know, are very small, miniature.
Yeah, and then the fund see way isians.
Cornishan which I don't know. Who eats gurking I don't even I don't see them served, I don't. I'm just like a normal pickle, like a Deli pickle. Do you eat Deli pickles or you only eat Cornischans?
Well, since you don't know this about me, I'm a pickle advocate.
A pickle advocate I'm going to go with that advocate for the pickles. Is this only on weekends or is this like a weekly thing too, Oh it's a free time.
No, it is. I'm a pickle lover.
In fact, my stage okay what stage of pickle?
I just like any pickle. But but I do like like you know, on like a cheeseboard, a graysboard, charcuterie board, relatability board, you know, I like a good you know they have a little the little ones, the little do you know? Bow makes me do taste tests. We have pickle taste tests. That's how much he loves chi.
I love taste tests. Those are the best. What else do you do it with?
Oh, peeps on Easter?
Oh that's a hard no for me. Well duh, you know right, okay, you do taste tests of peeps because there are certain peeps that taste different. Is in it all? Just like colored marshmallow and different colors?
Okay, everyone's like, what.
Right they now there's now other flavors of peeps.
Whoa, they haven't been the same, like yellow, blue and pink with one labor the basic marshmallow for like twenty years. Ps.
Oh, I don't know. You know, I don't do the thing. I see those and I'm like hard pass yep, yeah, yeah, no way.
And I'm the person that's like, whoa, there's a new peep and I get so excited that I do the happy dance in the aisle, like if I'm a target or like Vonts wherever I am.
Of new peeps? Do they taste differents they do? Do you still do McDonald shamrock shakes every year?
Beverly Hills Peeps shamrocks?
Do you do them together? Because it's around I mean, do you have like shamrock Shake Month with peeps and you just like bite the head off a peep and drink some of the shamrock shake.
You're disgusting.
Oh that's the absolutely not.
But we did growing up, correct have shamrock shakes every time they came in in March every year.
It was you loved him more than me. I liked it, but you got so excited that I would just get excited that you were excited, and I would go to McDonald.
So excited about food and drinks there. It's just like a so do you by the love he is? He's a total foodie.
I mean, I just eat a certain way, a different a different, a different way. But I still get excited about food just the same.
So going back before you eat, before you ate a different way and you ate everything. We do have similar paletts though. That's one thing we have in common, like we always appreciated flavor and got excited. And wait, I don't remember did you like strawberry or chocolate milkshakes McDonald's when we were little.
I didn't even like the milkshakes. I liked the right now, Oh, Sundays Sundays with the.
Caramel and car you had caramel and peanuts, ice strawberry.
Your strawberry couldn't do the strawberry. But you also liked the big Mac. I couldn't stand the big Mac. I didn't like it.
Then you didn't, uh no, did you eat mc rib? And then I switched it up once in a while.
I do flairs way back when ate mac rib when we were kids, I ate MA.
I ate mc rib before it was a thing, before it became a limited edition never coming.
Back last year. All right, So here's it was always.
On the menus, what did you eat.
Before the mick Rib? Because I think the mid rib came out there wasn't always the nick rib like an appetizer. She throw down a couple of cheeseburgers.
I was like, great, wait, let's go back.
What what did we start with?
I was like, well, first we go to the drink fountains and we get mountain dew. Always mountain dew were just.
Like mountain dew a taco bell.
Why are you pretending you're not my sibling.
I'm not. I don't remember the soda thing and you.
Okay, I tried to We're going to listen to this, so please.
I first of all, I never liked mountain dew. I always thought it was disgusting. I liked pepsi or coke, and you liked seven up sometimes or sprite? Right?
Did I doctor pele win my entire life?
Okay, do you remember this? Tell me I'm gonna pull this out. Do you know what I'm going to talk about? Aspen? The Apple soda? And then there was one can sitting on the shelf.
And I actually got super like, you said, we're gonna say ass and I didn't know what was coming, and I was like, I've worn off on him so much.
Shoot, okay, now do you remember the soda that they had for a while that was apple soda, and then they the one can.
Right.
You saved it and it stayed on the shelf, and every time i'd go in the playroom, I just see aspen. We didn't have a heart or something on it. You loved it.
It was green.
Yeah, it was green. Oh you know what?
So oh boy, that is so it was a crisp apple soda. I'm gonna say crisp you guys, because it was refreshing and it wasn't and you might think like, oh, apple soda, Like are we talking Martinelli's. We're not talking Martinelli's. It wasn't like an apple juice.
It was like, it wasn't a sparkling apple juice.
It was a soda, right, But it was just that crisp flavor. It was clear, and there was something light and refreshing about I'm salivating right now over our soda that was like forty years ago.
I was like, there's something light and refreshing about that. That artificial apple essence that they put in it.
It was artificial. It was our whole childhood, right, God, it was so beautiful. The first Mexican food we ever had was taco bell and We loved it so much that to this day when we when I go with everyone and have like authentic home cooked Mexican food and restaurants, and it's just like I'm always like, do you have ground beef right?
And they're like, you know like what.
They're like, No, we have you know, amazing wagoo and we you know Kobe beef for like you know, no, we have like brilliant like great meat that is.
You know what Mexican restaurant are you going to that has wog? You say that again? Wag you? Wag you? How do you say that?
What?
I'm just curious.
Because I thought that he just called me out my ship. I totally just made that up right, I mean, douve I've had it like when there's like a fusion restaurant.
Right right, that's true, that's true. That is true. One one little taco with like a radish on a radish. You're like, that's really tasty.
It's the one waggy bait.
Wait, so go on, what were you saying? Sorry? Sorry?
Okay, So so you like taco bell strip I don't know, like, are you happy now?
Yes?
But if it's in I'd be like I would always say is the steak real? And they'd be like, what are you talking about? Like, growing up, we go to like El Turedo or El Cholo or like what Sole Luna, Like, yeah, Mexically. Now I'm like I'm broadening our horizons here in La but yeah, and they'd be like real and I was like, oh no. And then you know, I'd be like, is it like sliced up steak or do you perchance have ground beef?
It was harder to find the ground beef.
You can't find the ground beef.
But that's what we were used to.
It's all I knew. Bell always had the grand beef.
And at our birthday parties, I remember. I remember this because Mom didn't eat McDonald's, right, she didn't and really didn't love that we loved McDonald's. However, she wanted us to have what we wanted at our birthday parties with our friends. So she let us have McDonald's or whatever at the birthday parties because she knew that we loved it so much.
This is true. And on the weekends on Saturday, that was like a big.
Treat, you know, or like a family friend would take us out, yeah, for somewhere they'd be like, where do you want to go? Do you want to go to Hamburger Hamlet? And we'd be like, can we go to Taco Bell Dolores though, Oh Dolores's was so great.
Berger. So there was a drive in.
I never went to the drive in, but you Beverly.
And then they had one in Sana Manka, which I believe is still there. It was there. I don't know after COVID but I don't know. Oh that's right, you don't live here anymore. But yeah, so our mom do you know this part that? So there was this It was like what you guys would think of, like a not fifties diner. I guess what it was like a coffee shop, a coffee shop.
Not even in and out. No, it was like a like a real deal diner shop. But burgers were that like, that was what they.
Were known for.
They were known for the JJ and the susi Q French fries, which were the curly twisty fries, but not the battered ones. They were just like curly twisty fries.
Yeah, which is like curly fries and jack in them.
And you liked the drink, didn't you? I never got it the cherry lime rickey or something right.
Yes, so much. By the way, the og burger there, the JJ burger. You could liken to what the big map.
It was like their form of a back with crabby patty. What's that? A krabby patty?
I can't. He hasn't watched TV anymore, you guys. His kids don't watch TV. I cannot SpongeBob yo.
I'm just this boring old guy who's into like philosophy and meditation and I don't. I don't watch a lot of TV.
I need one of you in my life because I balance it everything. Oh no, I'm.
Sitting here in your bed.
That'd be weird and my brother being about like as a partner in Oh.
I see, okay, so you're going with I see.
I found someone who blended my love of everything, your love of everything came together.
Here's the question. Would you be attracted to a me, not your brother, me, but not not not me as your brother, but like someone who isn't a philosophy and meditates and whatever? Or would you be like he's so boring? He said, I don't know what's happening. I've always liked to shock people. Did I just get shocked.
Nopeet I didn't let me see if I could phrase it right, He's like, oh fuck, she's gonna see it right now. I used to love to shock people, like as you know, you know, there you go.
So yeh.
When we later in life, like became like best friends, all of our friends. This is in our twenties because miraculously, all of a sudden, he hit twenty one and I'm still in my twenties. You know, I'm twenty six, and it's like, wait, he's no longer the little brother that I'm like get away, or like, okay, I'm gonna be the big sister. It was like even playing field. Yeah, and we all of a sudden really truly became best friends, which at times I would he was so much my
best friend. I would literally call him after like I hooked up with a guy, which weren't that many but I and I'm.
Like, oh my god.
It was as if I was gossiping to a best girlfriend. I was like okay, and you know me, I like to give you a visual, so I'm like okay. Then this happened next, and then this next.
You were so detail oriented with all of it, and especially if there was a drinker or involved. You would call me from Canada and different things, and you would just tell me so many details.
Every sexual detail that happened. And my poor brother is so kind. He would listen to me, and then I would I would get a vibe over the phone or in person, you or in person you always go you give that look, and then I'd keep going, and.
Then I scaring him for life.
Okay, but that's not what I was going to say.
That shock.
So we'd be out, we all be best friends, and we'd be drinking, and I know that people would be like, Okay, this is just gonna blow minds. Do you remember I go over and kiss you on the lips?
No? I I that that I stuffed that deep down somewhere.
What like you know, when let me turn like dad kissed us on the lips?
Do you mean like that like a high lover? Wah, you better clarify that. No, that's no. He called everyone babe. He called everyone lover, and it was an endearing term, and he would give these kisses on the lips. He just it was an endearing thing. It was just like a loving quality.
Then actually maybe he felt like it was like I don't know, in like such a super old school way.
There wasn't anything weird about it. It was very normal. But you would come over and just kiss me on the lips.
It was a little different than that, but it was for shock. It's like when Okay, let me set the state, like remember when you were like all out with their friends. Now I'm gonna talk to you like you're my best girlfriend. So except you were probably there and like girls would be like, oh my god, look at the guys, like the boys like you're all drinking and it's like ones you don't know, and you're like, we're gonna shock them, and they're gonna.
Be so like, oh my god.
So you would kiss your best girlfriends And yeah.
So is that this is gonna be some sort of headline in the Spelling family to Tory kiss his brother on the lips in front of everyone repeatedly, that was just a shock. And I don't remember that I did.
And it was like a prank. And because we both loved pranks, or.
Did right right, right, we did, we did it.
Ranks me when he arrived today, Actually.
Oh I did did? I sure did?
What'd you say?
I said? There was a cameraman down the street that was asking if this house was doing only fans because of a comment you made about only fans, to which your hair went back and went what what were they? And I said, no, I'm just kidding, and you were like, why would you?
And I went to like mama bear mode and like was like walking and pacing the windows. I'm like, where's the where's the paparazzi? I love that you call it a camera man. You're so old.
I'm so old. I love that it's like camera woman, phone person, what do you what do you say? No?
Oh, I wasn't even taking it to like I wasn't sexualizing it or putting it towards like you know, how do you refer to yourself camera woman, cameraman? I was just like the paparazzi, pops. I feel like brothers and sisters, like family. There's different paths in life that you have moments that are connected, not connected, but always connected.
I think, if I'm understanding this correctly, you're you're referring to the differences of how how how there's similarities. You could see all the similarities that we've talked about and how different we are, Like I live in Portland. I left the entertainment business. I'm a life coach. I eat all you know, like no refined sugar, gluten free, dairy free. I work out daily. I my kids don't have a phone.
It's owned out like a minute ago.
So ran you, you know, totally did a one eighty. Like put it this way between you and me, and no judgment. No I don't mean this, but like I go into the bathroom and I'm going to pee, and I'm like, oh shit, I don't know if there's pea still in there. I don't know if that was bo or someone, and like there's some sort of toilet paper with something next to and then like the trash can is stuffed and there's McDonald's in there, and I'm.
Like, oka true, Like like my you just.
No I know, but I'm saying that that's no. Like I am not anal in cleanliness, but there is a massive difference between you.
Can After the Shatner episode that just came out recently, I cannot believe you just said that. Say it again more.
Time, which part anally clean? Oh my gosh, you did not have me repeat that, and I felt I stepped right into it.
Bingo, bitch, still got it? I still got it. You said you're not anally cleanliness.
I'm not anal about my cleanliness in terms of how I keep things at home, but it is definitely there's a semblance and there's an order.
Why was the look in your eyes like like checkmate? Bitch?
No, I'm not trying to checkmate you.
I don't know chess, just the game. I know, life chess. I I'm a good player, but but technically I don't know.
But life chess. Oh, I'm real good like strategic. Is that what you mean?
I think I'm when I want to be. Yeah, not for myself, m for I think I'm really good in business, like knowing the right next move ending on your opponent. Okay, and I'm very good at being like Okay, I hear you and I four are Sunger Battleship. Oh we love those games. I love Sorry, he was a notorious cheater. You guys, you cheated games. I'm not even doing this with you. Call mom right now. You cheated in every game we played, and then if we got if we
called you on it, you started hysterically crying. And you were a little cute and blonde and like with big blue eyes that were tearing up, and everyone be like, oh.
Okay, okay, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. I think that paid off because right now, and I am honest, I would never let you win.
She was like, and I do that with my kids. I took note like.
She was like, well, like you have to learn, you have to learn.
No, And I fairly won.
And it's like, right, But I think it paid off because now I am honest to a fault, like I cannot be dishonest. I feel like I can't like it. I have to be authentic. I have to be on it. It works me if I'm not, it pains me if I'm not. So maybe I had to cheat a little when I was little to get to the honesty part.
I can't believe you didn't remember the asthmam okay, okay, okay, So wait, going back to not like anally messy? Is what you said?
No, no, no, don't. I don't even know why we're harping on this. All I said was.
You walked into my bathroom and there is.
Like a yeah there it was. It's a do Sam, it's a hot mess in there. I mean, I mean, I mean, there's there there's a lot going on in there. Even asked if I was allowed to flush the toilet.
Oh that's why.
That's why, because there was still pe in there, and I thought if it wasn't flush that maybe there was a problem because one of the other bathrooms, I was told by what if your kids not to flush the toilet. So I just said, maybe I'll use another bathroom.
I'm so sorry.
Which bathroom, I don't know. This was last time I was here a few weeks ago. They were like, oh, no, no, no, don't don't flush this toilet. There's a problem with it.
So I was like, okay, we've had some some toilet issues. There's there's six of us in the house. There's a lot of shit. So anyway, or you were worried maybe maybe my water bill had been cut off, and like I just understood.
No, I was more I just didn't want to overflow anything. And you know, and and there's McDonald's in a lot of the trash receptacles.
Trash receptacles.
I did, akay, there's.
One trash can in the bathroom.
You have multiple bathrooms?
Oh, fair points, fair points? Yeah, well I did make a mad dash. Hey, do you remember like in my apartments specifically that we would have like always had parties at myartment, right, and I would decorate, we had some fun part.
We had great ones brownies always and that oh the pot brownies actually awful.
I love that story.
Of the pot brownie and falls.
Dad and mom because like our parents were like so supportive, like you wouldn't think like Aaron and Handy Spelling would come.
Over to a Halloween. It was a Halloween Lloreen.
Party at my second apartment, and it was just all of my friends. It was you and your friends.
And it was like I was a sor in high school and you had made pot brownies and you had made them once before and I tried it and it was like I didn't feel that much. So this time you made it and you did some sort of concoction with like you cooked it in the butter first, and you made a lot of them. And by the time I got.
Chris cream trees, I was always always decorated, like I was obsessed and back then, like I have very chic style. I get that from my mom. But I also like loved a great like kind of Christmas vacation. Nope, like uh, christmasification, like the one where it's like a hut just over the top, cheesy like and you go that route. So here's the thing. Your friends know you, they know your taste. You either go one way and you make it super
chic and you're like, ah hah, that's it's expectant. It's great, or you're like, I'm going to go the other direction. Everything that's kind of like, you know, it was like plastic lit up reindeers and multicolor ballbs, wasn't It was great? It was great, and we would have like fun treats and I always you know, yeah, I always had fun stuff. We would do white elephant parties anyway. It was all that stuff. But I think it's just so cool to think that there's this party and like, who would think
that we would invite one invite our parents. That's how close we were with our parents. We were like, yeah, come to the party, and like Aaron Spelling, like coming.
They had something to do, so they I thought they weren't going to come and they were going somewhere. Actually, I don't even think you told me that you invited them.
No, probably not.
I think you just you were come by. No, no, no, you were getting ready for the party and doing things party, so you had just had them and you're like, oh, we tried one. You know they're not that strong, don't worry. So my friend Jordan and I and I remember Brian was there too, but Jordan and I were like, okay, we all ate one, and then I wasn't feeling anything after twenty minutes.
Listen, I didn't know.
They said it wasn't strong. I didn't, so I ate another one. And then all I know is about fifteen minutes later, after I'm too in, you came to me when you were like, holy shit, they're so strong. They're five times stronger than they were last time. And I panicked. And I don't know if any I mean, it's been a long time since I have felt anything different than how I feel now, but I remember from you saying that it somehow flipped something in my brain. And then
I was like, oh, I'm starting to feel something. And then I looked in your eyes and you were like I was scared. Holy shit. And then all of a sudden everything morphed and changed, and I this ceiling felt like it was coming down on me, and you I got this wrong.
Run what is I didn't know. I was like an amateur at the time, Like I didn't know about like weed now people call it, but back then it was like pot. So we hit pot brownies and it wasn't And I remember like someone on set had told me about it, and I was like, oh, that sounds fun, and I didn't know. But basically I didn't know that if you just like I used to be like, okay, you crush it up and throw it in and it tasted like crap, like because you just had like leafy
things crushed. It was like a regano in there. But yeah, if you do it with the butter thing, it really makes it strong. I didn't know, or I would have told him because this is when we were like I wasn't like trying to like fuck with my younger brother. I was like, Okay, this is good and but yeah, but I remember somebody came over to me and was like whoa.
Right, So then you panicked.
So then it was a Domino th book across the room and I see him and we lock eyes and I'm like.
And then yeah, you were like, don't eat more than one. They're so strong, And then I panicked and I and then Jordan, we were like, we just ate two and then all of a sudden I felt it and then I start laughing. Jordan starts laughing, Brian starts laughing, and then I look at the vestibule area and mom and Dad walk in and thirty for one second.
Sorry at the time, this is uh the infamous Wilshire the Wilshare, which had four condos on each floor. So if you had a condot, an elevator that came from the bottom and it went right up into what we called the vestibule.
And Charlie Sheen was living Farrah Faucet right everybody. So they walk in, they walk in right.
As I tell you. And for anyone that's ever dabbled with weed, like you, someone can tak you in a second, like you can be smoking some or whatever ingesting it. And if you look at your bestie and this is you know, we were in our twenties and you look at your bestie.
You're like, okay, do you feel seventeen something like that.
I'm sorry about that, but yeah, look at me trying I'm trying to be pc.
Oh sorry, but fine, yeah, I mean.
He was when he was four, yeah, so right, right, right, so, but you know that moment, like back then, like you would have that moment where you could be having like you we were always paranoid, like we grew up paranoid. So I'd be like, okay, I feel this is this normal? Is this normal? And everyone would be like, yeah, yeah, it's great. Yeah, you know you're you're fine. But there's
the alternative. If someone is quote unquote high and they're having what you would quote unquote called a good trip, like you can take them if you're like, oh, this is super strong, I'm not okay, and then all of a sudden, it's like a domino effect and the person I don't even know how this starts in someone's body, but the person next to you, they can go from feeling fine to be like, oh shit, I'm not okay, which is exactly what I did to you.
Yep. And then mom and dad walk in, and then I was trying to talk to damn that moment. But the hardest part wasn't I don't remember anything that he was saying, but for some reason, and I lived with him, but for some reason, he was talking to me for about what seemed like an hour, and he was really talking to me and I was trying so hard to focus on what he was saying, and literally I heard this educat and I was.
Charlie Brown teacher.
I was freaking out. I was literally talking myself out of a panic attack.
Act you did so well. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that too.
Oh my gosh. But some of my best memories, just to say this really quick, was your lasagnas and the dinner parties. Not the big parties. Those were fun where you had like twenty people over, but it was yeah, but it was it was more of like, we're having eight people over and we would get a bottle of wine, right.
And I remember at one point specifically, you had gone through a breakup and I would come over to your apartment and you I was reading these spiritual books and then you were like, I'm going to sit down with a good book, and you were started reading a couple of the books that I was reading, and you had and you just had gotten these little reading glasses, and I remember you on the couch and I was trying to convince you it was because our dad didn't fly right,
and we always heard classmates go to Hawaii, so and I think you went once with nine oh two one oho before and I was like, I'm going to Hawaii and at first you I asked you to go, and you were like, no, I'm not, you know, I'm there's something about the relationship. And then you broke up. I don't remember who you were with, but you had broken up in your relationship, and and you were home reading a book drinking wine and I was like, Tea, I'm going to Maui in a few weeks. Why don't you
come with me? And you said, you know what, Yes, I'm gonna come. And for me, I was like this is amazing. And we went to Maui together. That was our first time, right, and that was like our special place.
That became I mean, we became traveling companions for many many years, even in relationships. Yeah, you'd be with a girlfriend, I'd be with a boyfriend and the four of us would go and it's like, wait, are you going with your best friend? And no, I'm going with my brother and his girlfriend, like you know, like yeah, we always travel together.
So those times I love traveling with you, Like we made great travel partners, and those times of just like the simplest, such good memories of like the food, the cooking, the home, the reading, the talking.
Shit, I'm human.
Look, oh my god, I got tears.
Yeah, this is weird.
Whoa well?
You told me the other day when if that happens not to say like stop it, let it go. I can't.
I won't repress it. You talk yourself out of it.
It's not waterproof MASc here. No. Look, I'm a good, super uncomfortable.
It was a simpler time.
Really, miss ye Well. I wanted to say traveling with you, but it's like that's like there's so it was just as hard, like you moved to Portland, like that was like that changed my life and your life, your life for the better.
It's it's hard. It's hard not being here. It's hard, right, I mean to be honest, watch it. It's always weird for me looking at your life because sometimes I look at it through other filters, like I know you as you you're my sister. But you know, I get a lot of people writing me, or there's headlines or there's different things.
Remember one time you were like sorry, cut you off. I was filming in Malta and you had seen I mean, how many times did people put headlines up about Dina Gang a divorce. It was like since we married and you texted me and you were like, ye, is it true? Like like is something happening. I mean, obviously I would tell you before I did it, but like, and I was like, no, there's writing another thing. But you were like, Okay, I figure. I remember saying this. I figured, but I
just don't know because we don't. I live in LA you live in Portland. You're raising your family. I'm raising my family.
Right.
I'm a sucky communicator. I suck allow me.
To you're you're allow me to have it. Okay, Okay, I won't fight you on that. You are not the best at communication or staying in touch.
Yep, my own brother like show yep.
But I'm here. I haven't gone anywhere. You never do, even though I'm in Portland. You know I'm here. I will hold it down. I've got you. I always have always looked up to you. Always was the younger brother and always will be, even at times if I become the older brother.
I call them the older brother all the time because you're really wise, You're really it's beautiful. It's everything I hoped you would becoming more. And yeah, you think you'll ever move back to La.
You know. I asked myself that because I never want to say never, because I know how You're like, I'm never in the you know, universe is like here you go.
So you should say never.
I for California, I can't see it. I could see myself living in California, maybe northern California. I don't look, Mom's here, you're here, the kids are here. That part is hard. But I don't miss La. I like coming to visit. I'll do what I need to do here, I'll work, but but I don't miss living here. I don't miss the traffic. It's hot as ship here. It really is right, And to be honest, I really love
being in more nature. I mean, Ruth Anne and I were talking about this before we started recording, like having trees, having water. I mean, you have that here, right, But there's there's something more lush about Portland, and it's just it feels. Yeah. I had to move to Portland to really find myself, and I felt because we grew up in Hollywood in the business, there was so much association.
I just didn't know myself and even though I went into acting right, I always rebelled you wanted to be the actress from like jump from day one right five years old on. You knew what you wanted to do.
I didn't when I got home from work re enact hr puff and stuff?
Did you really right? So you knew with me? Yeah? You you had it and you wanted to be in the spotlight. I didn't. I was shy. I didn't want to but I was shy though I didn't. I didn't want to always be in front. I may have been more like, may have been charismatic, but I but I was shy. I didn't want the limelight. I didn't want to be in front of the camera because remember when Dad had me, do you.
Want that to be in front of the camera.
Yes, you wanted to be an actress. You did plays all through school.
That's interesting, Like you said you wanted to be in the spotlight, and I guess it triggered some response in me, like that was.
A negative thing.
Huh, isn't that weird?
Yeah?
I didn't mean it negative.
I know you never would, but if for some reason, I was like, no, I just want it to make people happy. I wanted to entertain people, and I did do a lot of plays. Yeah, which I had no I need to do with the spotlight, like I was always in plays. But I also loved getting that response, Like I loved that I made people laugh, you know, like in high school, remember Roger speed Longer.
Yeah, yeah, but what Roger.
And Roger and Ethel speed Longer My best friend down in high school. She and I had the same birthday. We had gone to school since like kindergarten and went all the way through high school together, and we used at lunchtime put on these characters and become these nerds, and we were white team and everyone and I was Roger. I was I the guy.
But now we know, right, you were always super side there, but uh yeah, and she'd be Ethel and I put on a bow tie and I put on glasses and.
I snort and and it was actually that's where I went on to do Violet bicker Staff and Stay by the Bells. And when I went into audition for that role, I was like, I've been doing this role for years for all my friends behind the scenes, So playing the nerd and like snorting like that was it. But I just seeing my friend's faces because they'd all be like, you know, girls like drama like boy problems and dah da dah and it was, you know, just high school kids.
But during lunch I really enjoyed entertaining them and making them smile and it detracted from whatever the negative focus was on or the drama that was happening.
Okay, so that was some of the context as to why you want you went into acting, right.
I was so shy.
Yeah, I was too. You were I guess. I guess you worshiped. But there was something in you that I feel I lacked, at least for a long time. What would you would work through it? I just avoided it. There are a lot of things that you avoid. Interesting, right, Yeah, there are a lot of things that you avoid. But for some reason, when it comes to pulling it out for work or entertainment or whatever it is that you're doing, you'll go, like terrify to speak on stage, and yet
you'll you'll do it. You'll go and you'll do it. I remember I used to. I used to get offered to do speaking gigs early on in my life coaching career, and I'd be like, I can't do it, sorry, no, thank you. I would just literally turn it down because I was terrified. So there's something that you do have where you're like, I'm I'm fearful of it, but I will go through it.
And you apply that to my life, not just business.
Of course, if you could do it in one area, you can do it in other areas. I think you just tell yourself I'm bad at communication or i'm back because you have known yourself as that for a while. But that doesn't mean like if your child, one of your children, was like, I'm bad at math, I'm bad at this. Would you go, okay, well, you're just doomed for the rest of your life to be only that, or would you say, oh, yeah, right
Yeah, what were we talking about.