MissCommenTORI (Part 3)

I have to do to protect them. And it is spider season. And it happened to me this morning because I got up went to go pee and for some reason, something told me to look into and I don't usually do this because it's early. It was like six am. You go and you just sit on the toilet to go pee, and something told me to look down. And when I looked down, there was vil it is spider crawling out from under the seat of my toilet. I'm not gonna lie. It was huge. It was ginormous. So

I'm like, oh boy, okay, what do I do? So I flush it down, but it fell down, and because the toilet wasn't flushing, I was like, okay, it still was moving and it kept going and its legs were going. I was like wow. And then I got panicked, and then I just tried to drown and sucker and I was taking everything in my bathroom and I was just like going like this, like just trying to drown it in the toilet water, and it kept coming back. So

finally I got it with toilet paper. I got it out and put it on the ground, and then I screamed again because it started running, and I was like, wow, it's like the spider. It's like if cats have nine lives. I think the spider had like ten lives, twelve thirteen. It kept going and then I had to stomp on it, and then I was bummed because they were my my Balenciaga slippers, and I was like, oh, that's gonna leave

a mark. But then I looked down and it wasn't in the toilet paper, it wasn't on the ground, and it wasn't on the Balenciagat slippers. It was gone. It got away, the spider that got away. So I don't know. It's somewhere in the house. But the bigger question is what if I didn't know and I was going to the bathroom and I was peeing and that spider crawled up me and laid like a thousand of its babies in my vagina? Like what would have happened? Am I the only one thinks about things like this? So now

I can't sit on a toilet like. That's a fear that, like a spider will crawl into your private parts and your whattole in like lay eggs And what happens? Does it die up there? I don't know? Anyway, bring on the commentaries. Do you have that fear?

reply reply to him and say what? Hi? I'm terribly terrible of this. I had no idea. No. The fact that I'm saying, like, you need a regular guy tells me that he's not the guy for me, because because he's leaving a comment for me here and he's saying I need a regular guy. But I'm just a regular girl. So why wouldn't I need a regular guy?

lavish spob. Now there's ones everywhere, but back in the day it was like very prestigious and there's like only one in New York and one in LA and really parts sparkling water, champagne when the ladies came in and anyway, she took me there and had my legs waxed for the first time. And I was very excited because all my friends shaved and I finally like was embarrassed. I'd be wearing like knee socks and stuff. And I did it,

and she was like, this is so much better. And I'm glad she told me this because there is validity to it. You know, back then there wasn't laser or anything, so you would wax or shave. And I'm glad she had me do that because the hair would take longer to grow back, and she would say it wouldn't grow back with as much sickness. And I don't know. I'm

not a hairy person to this day. Like if I can grow my leg hair out for like a month, good month or two, it'll be long, it'll be light, but it won't be Personally, I'll tell you that it is very thin. It's like the hair on your head, Like it's not those thick like ooh, you know when you feel a girl's legs and you're like, oh, like that. And I think my mom for this because she had me wax at a young age. But now I shave just because I'm lazy and I do it really fast.

And I always nicked myself because I'm just like I have to take care of kids. So I shaved. The question is do the drapes match the carpet? Does the drapes match the carpet? Okay, So the drapes would be your hair, which mine's dyed, match the carpet, which is hardwood. It's I don't have carpet. I shave it offen. Okay, so much information, but no I have story. So back in the day when I had platinum hair, I remember this and Kevin, my dentist friend. Kevin was my roommate.

I remember when I went platinum on nine O two one zero. I was at my hair dresser and getting it done, and I was like, at the time, like landing strips were in. Do you guys like is that a thing anymore where you would like shave just like a little square in your like a landing strip, And that's like what was in then in the nineties. So anyway, I said to my hairdresser, I was like, oh my gosh,

I love the color you did my hair. Wait, is that ever a thing Like I could dye my pubes like to match, like I'm platinum here, I could be platinum there, and I'm not like dark down there, but like brown. So and he was like, oh yeah, he was totally into it. So he whipped up a little bit and he gave it to me, and I don't know if it was like bleach whatever, like it was that whole thing. So I brought it home and I

didn't ask for instructions. I was like rushing out. So that night I was in my bathroom, Kevin was in his room, and I literally was putting stuff on. I had done like shade into a cute little landing strip. I was already like, oh cool, put the color on, and then I Kevin's still to this day like he heard me screaming and I was like, oh my god, my pussy and he's like what. I was like, come here, you have to look at it, and he's like I don't want to. I'm like, you have to. He's my

best friend. Like we shared everything. Like it wasn't like a guy looking at you know, it was like it was like brother. So I was like, you have to, there's a problem, and he comes in and it had turned bright purple. I think because they put like a toner in blondes. Like you know how they have purple shampoo now. Back then they didn't have it. It was like all in one. So whatever my hairdresser gave me at the time I put down there, I don't know if I left it on too long, probably the case, because

it burned like hell, but it was bright purple. And I was like, oh my gosh, I have a purple pussy. Now I don't know what to do. And Kevin's like, oh my god, He's like that, yeah, that doesn't look good, and I was like, oh my god. So that was the first time I had to like I had to shave it all off and go down with the hardwood. And then I was like, oh this is cute. I like this. But yeah, for ye, for about twenty minutes, I had a purple pussy. So it's no one ever.

Hedgehog owners, beware, they are not for the weak part, they are menacin. They are really prickly, no pun intended, but they hiss. Don't be swayed by all those TikTok videos of people giving bats and cuddling and doing a little toothbrush to rub their bellies. It's so cute. I tried all of that. I mean, I did a deep dive into trying to please these hedgehogs, and my kids

were thrown off immediately. One because when you go to touch them, they they come out like this, into a ball, literally a ball, and you have to wear gloves first of all. So I would have like my rubber dish gloves. Oh am I kidding here. I went and bought a pair of rubber dish gloves and would handle them. As they say, the more you handle them, the more they become accustomed to you, and then they will relax. And when they did relax, oh my god, there's some cute fuckers.

I'm telling you how little noses and they're so cute and their little bellies, their little mouths and they're really sweet. But they just you know, I was like, you're okay, you're safe. I'm a friend, you know, they don't listen and they just yeah. So so anyway, we had the hedgehogs for a while and they were really mean and they would hiss at my kids and spake up and you know, bloody, you'd be bloody from them after an interaction and it was like, I was just trying to

give you love. So they were white albino hedgehogs. And it's interesting because people'll all want them. Like I was telling friends, you know, and they're like, I want a hedgehog, and I was like, no, no, no, let me just tell you. Spend some time with it. Don't commit to it like it's it's a big process. So so yeah, I found them homes though, and I still check in with those people and they're really happy. But I find they're better for like a home with not other animals and not

other a million children like I have. And you really got to dedicate your life to these hedgehogs because they're not easy. Did I answer that thoroughly? Okay?

my face. Like it was horrific. And my son Finn was four, I think at the time, and I couldn't go anywhere. I couldn't even get out of bed. It was so painful. My face was like feeling like it

was on fire. So I texted the esthetician because it was at like a spa like place, it wasn't you know, And she was like this is normal, you know, and she gave me some creams to put on it and all that la la la, and my son Finn like like two days went by and then I remember I, uh, I had to shower him because he was little, and we were in the shower and he's like looking down. He's like, mom, I go what he goes? When is your face going to come back? Are you ever going

to look like you again? I'm scared. And I was like, oh my god. And I looked at him and I go, buddy, he goes yeah, I go, I'm scared too, I really scared. I was scared you guys. I was like, something's wrong here. But anyway, I then golled the nurse. I was like uh because it was days now days, and I was like, uh, I have to film on Monday. I'm not sure what to do. And she was like, hm, just come back in and we can give you. They put like oxygen on your face and do stuff to try to take

down redness. And so afterwards I come out and I'm getting into my car and paparazzi got a picture of it and it went everywhere, like if you look it up right now, you will see it. It is horrific. Anyway, I had to film for a week and they had to cover that it was a cooking, like like burn meat was on my face. BARS was like, You're never allowed to like get something done a week before filming ever again. So I have not done a chemicobile in my face since then because I've been so terrified. Are

you googling the picture right now, it's really good. I think that's where this.

and I'm not even kidding. So I'm wearing a sin layer of my thigh on my arm because the skin burnt so bad, like they had to take it all day nd of the phone basically and rebuild it. Like the badass bitch I am. As I fell, I pulled my arm which was sticking to the grill because it was odd and what is it five hundred and six

hundred and fifty degrees. Something pulled it off. And then when I've hit the ground, my family said it smelled like something burning and they hadn't even started bringing food over, and everyone's like are you okay? And I was so embarrassed. You know when you fall in front of people and you're like embarrassed and you're like fine, I'm fine, and you're really like, oh, I don't know if I'm okay. It was one of those moments. So I'm like, I'm okay,

I'm okay. I was like super embarrassed to everyone's coming over. Oh, all the attention, and of course I'm like people are probably like, oh, you know what happens she drunk, like wo oh, it's the celebrity, and like we had just arrived, like I hadn't even had a drink yet. It was Easter brunch with our best friends and our family and anyway,

so everyone, you're welcome. Bending Hans across America, there's now a chain between where you sit at the counter and where the chef then goes back to cook the food. There's a chain there so patrons like me can't step behind that. I was trying to get a picture of my kid wearing the chef's hat, took one step back, flew up on the oil, and the rest is history.

But anyway, well, like the badass bitch I am, I was saying, I went on with my meal because it was Easter, and I was like, I'm fine, I'm fine, you know, and not fine. And we had brunch and then we went home and I hid Easter eggs. We found Easter eggs and made cookies and went through the entire Easter and I wait till Easter was over. And a day later, I then drove myself I'm right handed to the emergency room and they're like, uh, that's like

a third, the fourth, whatever the worst burn is. They're like, that's it, and the skin's dying and you need to go to the Burden Clinic. And then I went there anyway, you know what, And I got to say, I'm really bummed because I felt like I couldn't go back to Benny Hanna just because I don't know, it was like a thing like you know, PTSD, Like Stella and Liam were old enough that they still remember it and it

was really scarring for them. And yeah, but there's nothing better than that salad dressing, that ginger salad dressing on the Benny Hanna salad, the coming or them flipping shrimp into your means. I always caught it. I'm good like that, soiss it all the time. You may laugh, So, okay, I do all the time.

Even though this is about you, so you can do whatever you want, but how do you preserve that doesn't it go bad? Don't you get ants? Like what happens after you paint something out of chocolate?

I cannot part with because I feel guilty. So I fear if you send me this thing, there's going to be more spiders that we're going to come into my house. And yeah, so don't send it to me. But I'd like to see a picture of it, and yeah, okay, second part of that, he's going to send his painter to me.

like there's me. It's haunting that like takes Yeah. Like I've been to Jojo Siwa's house, like her parents' house and this is back you know, in the day, and they, you know, had a lot of JoJo's stuff everywhere shown it. I'm friends with Jojo, Like it's not a big deal, but they had JoJo's stuff everywhere. So you know, that would be like me having like my picture on like pillows and like on the wall, but on my ceiling.

I don't think I'd be into that. No, Okay, what's the last one they want to paint a mural of me on their ceiling. Yeah, to each their room, do as you will that what part of me are you putting on the ceiling though, because like face, is it? Top? Bottom, is it? Booms? Is it my feet? My feet are really good. I'm really really good feet. So maybe, like you don't know, it's interesting.

that's like a porn thing. That's like, okay, you know, like if you can't look at pictures and do your thing, if you can't you know, look at your iPad or whatever, I think that's just lazy that you're taking all the work out of it. There is like okay, this is just going to make it easier for me and just look up. So I don't like lazy people. But if you got to have one. Make sure you get my good angle. I like the right side of my face, so i'd prefer that's the right side of my face

up on your ceiling. And then maybe for a small like free, I'll donate to charity. I'll I'll come over and sign it, maybe allegedly. Wait, wait, actually give permission to this person. This would be really funny. I want to see if they'll actually do it. But that person need a permission or they want a photo with me? What do they want?