Miss Wild Thing

Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.

Hi, honey, how are you tea?

Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you in a minute.

I know you've been through a lot in a minute.

I know.

Wow.

First of all, I have to tell you, well, I am so sorry. Well, obviously, Shannon, I can only imagine how hard that was for you. And it's so surreal because our generation obviously we all grew up, came into coming of age with all of us, and so I'm very sorry about that. And also personally outside of that, what you're going through with your family.

I get I thought you were going to say you're sorry about the divorce. I'm like, no, you're not. Don't be no.

But no matter what the circumstances are, it's do you want me to grab your pails?

Did you see? Yes?

It's deflating like one of my boots.

I uh, well, mine have deflated.

Oh my gosh, I just got I'm done two years ago. Now I have to get them redone. They're terrible. I hate them.

Oh well, we could talk about that. I have to get mine redone tail. No, I no matter what the circumstances are, it's not easy going through divorce, right, Yeah, it's not easy. No, even if it's all amicable and everything's good, it's still trying to figure out everything is.

It's not easy.

It's not it's not. But we've been friends for so long, Like you've gone down this road with me, and we've talked before that you know it wasn't completely happy.

How are you now?

Interesting? Like happy, not happy? Dean and I are in a good place. But I got to be honest with you, like it's it's the whole like having him removed from the household situation, from our family, like that's been the toughest because while perhaps you know, we weren't happy together any longer in the marriage, like he was right.

There and still there in the household and that being part of.

The yes, yes, and now you know, the kids.

And going through the motions of being husband and wife. Even though you guys weren't happy, we're still doing all that.

And but on the other hand, you know, the kids could see that in happiness and they know and it was better that we kind of stopped it. Now.

Was there a breaking point or was it just okay, we're or was there like a.

Thing you know what I mean? Or did you just wait? Okay, got it?

There is like that one final like blowout fights. I understand there, but it actually didn't come from me. It came from him. He initiated the blowout fight. And you know, I'm a lover not a fighter. I know, I know, so it's hard for me my voice and.

Yeah, that's what I'm asking you, like it had to be. So did he? Was it you that?

Really?

Sorry?

If I'm I know this is your show and I'm asking you the questions.

But I think because.

I do all the time, but because we've known each other for so long and we've gone through so much and a lot of similarities and stuff, and no, but I'm and people are very curious because they'll read a lot of stuff in the press and all of that. But you know, Aaron and I went to dinner with you and Dean and it wasn't that long ago after and I was so it wasn't shocked because if you know, we have shared stuff together and we think, okay, they'll get through it or whatever.

But I was surprised.

And for years I told you I was contemplating, and you know, and the back and forth. Do I stay for the kids, Do I you know, or will things get better between us? Who knows? But that was our last date was with you and Erin. Oh really, I mean not just our last double date, but our last like time out together was yeah, with you.

So I know that's what I'm saying.

You know, that's what so like that people don't get when you know, when Charlie and I got divorced, I filed for divorce three weeks after we were at a red carpet event for the SAG Awards.

I'll never forget it.

It was probably less than three weeks that I filed, and people on the red carpet or you know that saus probably never in a million years would have guessed it. That's the same thing Aaron and I we were so surprised hearing that, and because you guys seemed so connected. And but again, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors, right you know?

But well you do.

I told you everything I know.

But no, no, you think that things get right right, that you're in a better place to it, and so and that's the thing that I think is hard, and people speculate different things, whether it's true or not.

It's not easy going through it.

Right publicly. The thing you said is the connection, and that's the thing. We did have a connection and we still do have a connection.

Now is he with someone else? He is? And how did you feel about that?

Good question, because when I met him, he was with some with his X and it was a really difficult journey and it was you know, I became a stepmom and and anyway it was. I was always very nervous, like if we ever split up and get divorced, like what does that look like when he's with someone else, or if I'm with someone else, and just to be on my part, really mindful of being inclusive and not you know, I don't know. I was always like, will I be jealous? What will it be like? Because I

So you were.

I think a lot of people don't understand this too, with sometimes well especially a lot of times with women. Typically I find with my girlfriends too, we mourn the end of the relationship during the relationship, and a lot of men moren it after yes, for you to be okay with it right away, with people seeing photos of him with someone else, it seems like then you probably were okay with the relationship really being done to be okay seeing him with someone else that soon.

That is so interesting. That is exactly it. I grieved and warned the relationship during during it. Yeah, so when that part happened, that part was okay. It was more my focus was just on the kids and taking care of them, and that was hard for them. But his girlfriend, when I first saw a picture of them together, I you know, it's it's funny because my brain wanted to be like, oh my gosh, you know, jealous, and then

That you're okay with it that all.

You really seems like you care about his happiness, and when he's happy, then the kids are happy, and if he's with someone that is good, that you're okay.

It helps everyone in the fad.

It really does. And I don't know, there's not a part of me that's jealous at all, And that's odd.

Well, I think that's what I was saying that I think then that's when you know that it was the right decision to split, as hard as it is sometimes that you warned the loss of the marriage part of your guys' relationship during the marriage, so that when it did end, that.

You're actually okay with it. Yeah, you know, it's hard.

And that last fight, he put a post up on Instagram saying, you know, you know, the typical when celebrity couple and they put it out a statement, you know. But I didn't know he was putting it up, and he was, you know, we talk about it and he's like, it was basically my last it was like a cry for help. And then he went into treatment, which I'm very proud of him for doing. But yeah, he put it out there, and while I was like, oh my god, okay,

Was he was reacting emotional, he was.

Reacting emotionally, and he was still drinking, and you know he was in and that's spiral. But I got to say, when I saw that post, inside, I.

Was like, oh, thank god, because I'm gonna ask you because you were relieved.

I don't know if I could have done it. I wanted to do it. I want it to be strong enough. I want it to be that example that, you know what, it's come to the point that the kids are no longer seeing a strong woman in the house. But I had gotten so deep into it that I would question it a lot and be like, Okay, maybe not this lifetime. Maybe this lifetime, I'm just supposed to be a mother and a workhorse and that's it, and maybe I'll get the happy ending next lifetime. And I think I would

You do and it's you know what, it's ah, I am so proud of you. Thank you, I really am, because it is not you didn't play dirty. You And it's not easy. Also, having going through a very public divorce and having different people or different stories out there, it is not easy. And people don't realize that and they think, oh, you're in the public you yeah, and it's and it's hard, and yes, our life is public, but it's also we also go through things that a

It's it is can be like, it's not easy. It's not me.

But you handled it so.

Have been handling it so graciously, which says a lot about you, and and and Deane too.

We're trying. We're really trying hard to co parent and I just we wanted to go smoothly like we you know, I filed, but we still have to We still have to work things out, you know. And you always hope that like outside influences, you know and business wisely get involved with things divorce wise, that it doesn't go a different way. I think for me, one of the most challenging parts has been what the kids see on social media and what they read. And I know you know this, well, oh it's why I'm.

It's not easy.

It's so tricky because you know Stella who's sixteen now, and you know, my kids since they were.

Born and before they were born. Yep.

Last summer, after everything happened and we split and the Instagram post bucking a divorce and we had moved and it was just like a whole thing. And then Stella went back to school and she's like, everyone's going to know when I go back to school. It's all over

So hard.

You know what's so interesting The generation before us, like you know, I think Michelle Pfeiffer, we didn't know what her kids looked like, you know, in the press there there was a bit more privacy and stuff like that. And then our generation, our kids are being raised with

So that's the thing that's hard.

But I think it's being what I'm trying to do with my girls with all of this, is trying to say what you just said, we can't control things, can't do, and you want to take your power back. But also we're working moms, and part of our job is out there, right, And there might be what I tell my girls, there might be things you don't agree with, but just know that I'm working.

I'm doing this.

This is my my career, even if you don't agree with certain things. And I know it might be hard, and if you have any questions, we'll talk about it. But it isn't easy because I didn't grow up in this business. I grew up in a small town outside of Illinois. You've also, but you've been I mean right around all of this on a different level.

Right, There wasn't all paparazzi. There wasn't all There wasn't social media, there wasn't Internet, but there was, you know, it was I was always on show, you know, from jump, you know, and that wasn't something my parents said like, oh, we have to, you know, be this way. But you learned if you're savvy enough, you know, even at five, like I learned pretty quickly, like Okay, everyone knows my dad.

Have you ever thought of moving your kids outside of California.

Like for a TV show. I've had lots of ideas, No.

For real.

If I could do it all over again, yes I would. I love California. I love Los Angeles, so I'm not saying that, but it in hindsight, if I could do it all over again, I think I would have raised the girls somewhere else because it's even though the social media and everything is still there worldwide, it's very difficult to get away from all of that stuff being in

It's it's a it's just very different.

So just off the top of your head, instinct, Like if you had to say right now, like where would you have moved.

Them, I would have moved to Montana or I love uh in Nashville.

So you would have done it before it became moved to Montana.

Really, yes, but when they were little. I started taking them to Montana when they were little, and I fell in love with it and they wanted to move there so bad.

When were you used to go to Montana?

Yeah? I love it there so much, but it at the time, I was like, no, I have to stay in La because I where I'm working.

Right.

You know, it's a little different now since the pandemic, where it's a little bit more accepted that we could be in other places where we could have zooms. You don't have to be in person. But at the time I was like I can't. I have to work.

Yeah, So like you couldn't leave. I mean, I guess you could fly back when you have things.

I was, so that's where I would have a.

Wow that yeah. So yeah, so Stella has said and tell me how to navigate this one. I say, well, this is the life I was, you know, I grew up in and there's always been focus on my life and my family. And she goes, but we didn't ask for it, and I was like, okay, one, you're so clever. God, I love my daughter. She's master manipulator without like so kind kind is hard, but she's super super smart and that just like gut it me.

I get it.

And I was like, well, and then, you know, I cope with jokes, so of course.

I said to my kids when they were little.

When with that, I said, okay, but you got tickets to go see Katie Perry and Taylor Swift and meet Taylor Swift. So also you can't complain too much. So it's a catch twenty two with that too. So I get it.

Said you didn't ask to be born into it, but I yeah, there are some but I signed a contract within and then and then once you signed that away, I'm just kidding. Because she was born on camera. She literally was born on camera.

Well it is, Yes, they didn't ask, but it's it's the third journey, yeah, of their childhood, and you know.

Any of age, there are so many wonderful things they get that they can't see once because you know, it's it. It's a nightmare when you're driving around and the kids want to get somewhere. And actually, I haven't been in a car with you when this happens, so I don't know how you react, but I am. It's the only time I am like and get really frustrated, and then like have to make a point. Is when we're being tailed by paparazzi. I like, I will like go downside

Sure?

So wait it's current, so you don't have a title, but it's currently titled Denise Richards and the Wild Thing, Yes, which is super clever.

I think it's very clever too. I love the title thank you.

I love the title so thank you so much.

It's so funny. When I shot an e.

When the girls were little, they were so little, they were like Denise Richard.

It's complicated. Yeah, I watched.

Every episode, Oh thank you. They were three and four years old, and now.

It's just so bizarre to see their grown ups.

It's it goes so fast. I know, it's so weird.

Is how old Now.

She's thirteen, she's thirteen, Sammy's twenty, and Lola's nineteen, and it's just it's just the you know. I moved to la when I was twenty and so to see Sammy navigate being on her own, she lives on her own, in her own apartment, I worry.

I was. I did not sleep all night because she was. I said, you have to.

She had one of her best friends birthday party, and so I have to make sure that she gets home and textes me and all that. It's just weird when they grow up and do that. But it's just strange. But it was a big decision. So this was a long time with all of us talking about it because I wanted to make sure that the girls were really wanting to do it, because it does you open up your We've opened up our lives and we're doing it right now and trying to navigate all of that. So

Was there one that was hesitant with I'm guessing it was Lola.

They were looking both.

Yeah, No, they have different personality, they have their complete opposites.

They were both.

It's so I'm actually very proud of them because you and I are also very much people pleasers, and so I would have been, okay, so you want me to do that, you know we would And they have a list of questions, they have this and that, and I was like, I was very proud of the girls that they were asking so many questions that they really wanted

You deserve it. You're so hard working and you're so kind, and thank you. Obviously, I've done a lot of people in this business through the years, and you always root for the ones that are like they deserve to come out ahead, and you always wonder do the good ones ever truly come out ahead. Well, you're making that happen. And with reality TV, it's not as easy as people think. People say to me all the time, just do another

Yeah, I guess if you look at it that way, because I was on Housewives, so yeah.

But I and I thought of it that way.

I didn't either really just brought that up.

But I feel very I feel so incredibly blessed because you and I both know, and you're a work or two mama's and I love the show you're doing and I'm so happy for you.

And you know, it's not easy.

And it's also it's not as easy as people think, Oh do they just put cameras and follow your mind everywhere and this and that. You also have to get the kids schedule of this to that and navigate everything and try to work it out.

I'm not complaining or anything at all, but.

You want to, you know, have people see what you know, what our family is about and.

Right there, right But it's just, you know, the thing is, I feel like relevancy. People talk about relevancy, and I feel like we have that in common.

We're more interest still they're still in age. Yeah, I'm like, shit, I'm so grateful.

Fuck But you know what it's it's a blessing, like and it's a testament to you because it's not just your beauty. It's not just it's everything.

Around falling apart that part.

To tell me about it, I.

Look back at when I was younger, I was like, I wish I knew that I.

That way.

Well, you know what i mean.

I'm like, even you didn't feel good about yourself so fusolutely I did not.

Tell me a kid, and people make fun of certain things, you don't see yourself that way. It's different. So now that I'm older, I was like, shit, I didn't look so bad. I wish I like ingreciated that and was like oh and embraced that because now I'm like, I want to get my neck lifted, my facelift. I'm going to do this, but I'm afraid I'm gonna look different, so I have to be careful. I know me too, so that's the only thing.

And I get so much shame on social media. I know I'm not supposed to look like, oh, You've had a million things done. I'm like, I actually haven't. I know, I'd like it to, but now it's scared.

No people say the same thing about me.

So now I'm like, you know what, I'm going to just do it anyway they think I did.

She hasn't. I've known her since I have. I feel like, how old were you when you did? I feel like I was like, were you like fifteen sixteen? And shit, it was how old were you?

On?

I started because we're you're how old.

Are fifty one when you're may sixteen.

Okay, so I'm two years older than you. Yeah, we were.

I was like a teenager.

We were. Yeah, yeah, we're so young.

And we've known each other since then, and it was always nice because our lives always came.

Full circle always because it wasn't.

You work with people and you and people think we all like run into each other all the time. It doesn't work like that.

But we were lying in and we did run we did, and our.

Friendship kept coming back around throughout the years. That's how, you know, like, okay, we're supposed to just stay friends exactly. But wait, what was my point? My point was, yeah, I don't know. Wait, so uh sorry, I say wait when I get excited, like, wait, Dan, there's more. We actually lived together before. People are like, what in the same building, And we did when you and Charlie were together, we lived at the Wilshire.

Yes, we lived in the same building.

We did for a short time. I think.

I think I was there a short time. You were there longer than I was.

I saw the before and I saw the after in between.

Yes, it was a building where a lot of people were up and down that elevator, but that's okay.

Yeah, did you ever see his place. I did one time.

And would you think needed to be a little brightened up?

May I speak freely? Wow?

Don't? Yes, speak freely?

I talked about it on the podcast now, but out of respect.

No, don't worry. There's a lot that takes to offend me. You know that.

I know that.

Jesus, I've been I'm good.

No, no, no, won't offend you. Okay. So Kevin my roommate, Yes, yes.

I love him. He was Charlie's really good friend. Yes, I don't know if they're friends now.

But no, but he loves it. But I don't think they're I.

Don't either, But anyway, I loved him too.

He's seen my teeth, they look good. Finally got my teeth. Then it was my fiftieth birthday gift and it took a year to finally bullet trigger. But I had other things to do.

And he lived there too, right, he lives with me.

He was my roommate, okay, because Charlie introduced me to Kevin when we first got together.

Yes, so Kevin, who has been sober forever when we were roommates, though he was not sober, and he and Charlie had a lot of he would go. He would go m I A for days and I'd be like, it's like me and my kids. Now, I'm like, where are you? Where are you? And he's like, oh, I'm just a Charlie And I'm like, okay, Well, at least he's not driving. At least I know he's in.

The building building. He just takes the elevator.

Uh huh so yeah, so at least I could know he was semi safe. But one night, I think we had gone to a Playboy mansion party. We came back and he was like, I'm going over to Charlie's. And I'm like, okay, bye, have fun, see you in a week.

Uh.

It's literally and then he calls me and he's like, come on, Tee, you gotta come over. Charlie says come over, you gotta come on, Like, I don't want to go over. I don't. I honestly I want to go to bed. And I had a friend with me and she was like, are you kidding Charlie Sheen's condo? Wait, we got to go over, and I was like, oh shit. I was like five minutes. We're going for five minutes. She was like okay, cool, and I was like okay, So we go over and no joke, you know, you take the

Were the days.

Uh.

The door opens and Charlie is standing there in a button up I want to say, Hawaian shirt. I don't even know what it was. And he hands me something he goes hot crack pipe and I was like nope, no thanks, and then he was like come on in. It was yes. I don't know. I didn't see the condo. It was very dark. It was a lot dark. I mean literally all the lights were off and the only lights were like, you know, people smoking or like doing. I don't know what was going on, but we went.

He is.

So he brings me into the kitchen and he's like, well, anything else. I was terrified to take anything else. I didn't know. I was like, you know, there were so many people there and they were all like, oh yeah, Charlie, weave this, we have that. And I was like I'm good and I was like I'll have a drink. Then I was like, oh god, what there's something in the drinks. I don't know what to do. I was literally like, do you have a soda? And I was like, oh my god, what am I doing? So yeah, he took

There probably okay, I wouldn't be surprised.

And just a lot of people. And then Kevin's like, isn't this the best? I'm like, no, this is not the best, but this is you know, you know me Like I'm like my dad storyteller in my head and this is way back before I ever wrote books or do anything. I'm like, this is a good story to tell, though, you know, I'll tell this at dinner with my friends sometime. So we left. That was it.

That was it? That was it? Oh that's a good story. Yeah.

So that's my only memory of being there. And you guys used to have a food delivery service. I remember that.

How was it? A lot of people did? We had the shit?

I'm trying to remember what it was, but it's because you were on it. I actually was like I should do something, and I got on it and then they didn't pie It was like.

They would deliver the coolers with all of our food, and.

The coolers would still be sitting there with the food in it because I would eat chips or whatever and you know, and good stuff like Yeah, I never ate it, I think.

Yeah, it was one of those.

Yeah, it was unfair. It was unfair.

Yeah, the guys downstairs took all of our bags of Charles, all of our coolers.

Everyone in the building.

Wait really, yeah, like stole them.

No, no, no, meaning they would no, they would get them all in deliver room were cracked, cracked.

And cal building and far Faara face.

It was literally right across the hall on the same floor.

I remember seeing all of them.

Oh my gosh, Rodney Dangerfield. Yeah, it was a it was a cool building. But I digress. Can we talk about OnlyFans?

Yeah, because I thought you were going to fucking join it? I know, why not. I don't know what the fuck are you waiting for.

I'm not sure.

Ruth Anne, she says, no, you have nothing. She has nothing to lose. We have nothing to lose. At our age. People want to see us fuck it and bring second.

Please for a second. Ruthanne's always on the podcast. I know, I know.

Oh here I'm going to tell you my experience.

Then she's like, oh my god.

She's all right, She's like, oh fuck.

So I didn't know what the hell OnlyFans was listen, if we're starting out fine, Even at that I wish I had the confidence now back then, I really do.

Yeah. So she thought only fans when I brought it up, because it's a constant conversation. We go back and forth, and because why do you think she shouldn't do it? She thought she thought it was porn.

Some of it is.

She didn't know.

No, I'm going to explain this to you what I thought. So I did not know what the hell it was. And then my daughter joined it, and my daughter got so much backlash from it, and I was upset because I did Starship Troopers and then within four months Wild Things came out and it was such a risk for me as a young actress to do that, and I've thought, Okay, this will go one way or the other, and thank god it went the.

Way it did.

After that, there was certain projects that people wanted to see me for, or people had a different perception and whatever. If the internet was the way it is now, it would have been so difficult, I think for me to deal with that. And I was just telling Tea before you came in here that I wish I had the confidence now obviously back then, but so I joined the damn.

Thing and it was it's actually for me.

I don't care anymore what people say, because I have been through the ringer with press, with stuff, with my people saying stuff, rumors, this or that. It's like, say what you want, and it's also a great way. And a lot of people think it's just naked stuff and all that.

It's not. It's for me.

It means, or what I think of it as is almost the having a fan site where you can communicate differently than on Instagram, you know that kind of thing. And do I do topless? Yeah, but I already have it out there because I did fucking Playboy.

Your tits are out there, they're not they're not.

Oh well you might as well have them out there.

And you know what after these yeah right, I'm like, if someone wants to see my boobies and see meeting, and I'm like, fucking thank you. I am so grateful. Fuck no one's gonna say. And I thought I was going to lose jobs that didn't happen.

So I don't know, but I want you to be able to be like the voice. All I'm saying, I don't know.

I guess I just don't have a rasp on what it is what you would be doing if you're not.

I've cooked.

I do when I'm getting wardrobe ready or whatever for going out of town, or I have to pick what dress. I treat it like stuff that I don't post on Instagram. I'll post on that and I'll say, okay, do you like this or that? Or I'm just getting to this place, and I don't know. There's just it's a little different. You don't always have to do all of that. I don't always do. Do I have I done topless?

Yes? Do I show my trashet? Yes? And if people want to see.

Its great at my age, I subscribe.

I am like, thank you, because there's going to be a day no one's going to want to fucking see it. So I'm not that never, but I'm grateful youmorates it.

I think that is because it's me and sometimes what other people can do and it's a little more acceptable with me. It's just like nope, yeah, just fine, I get it. No, matter what she says and does, it's a headline and it's negative. Well her too, but she's thank you.

Yeah, it's true they're not always possible, but.

You still get acting jobs. I think she's worried, like, oh, well, she's not get an acting job because of.

It and things like that, and you know, endorsements. We're trying the podcast new and there's some other things coming down.

I say, you want to wait and see.

I just would be concerned about going down that path without first exploring other going down, just in case if someone's like, I don't want to do a hair thing or this, because but if you can go on only Fans and do other things, I said to you, I'm not opposed to that.

I feel I mean, you never stopped working, but I feel like since you joined Only Fans you've gotten other things exactly. And I thought, oh, and that's what you told me too, And it's true.

I was like, oh fuck, I fucked myself. No, I've worked.

I've had a great like since I joined, I've been working a lot.

It's just I go back to the people that are hiring us.

There maybe on they're looking and I'm like, well, good, they can look at me and hire me.

I don't care.

True, Maybe if I was younger, I'd be like, they can't look at me like that. No, I'm like, well fuck it, I'll do it. I'm too old right now.

I don't care. Okay, But everyone's different, Like.

Okay, who's the oldest guy you've been with?

That would be I guess Dean. Oh and he.

Have you had sex sense? Dean? You don't have to answer yes, that's good. I mean he clearly is.

Yeah. Yeah, but it is a whole different playing field. But like I feel like, you know, we all go through our phases of how we want to dress and look, and we're able to change how we feel in the moment. That's our given right, it's our bodies, it's our minds and hearts and our vibes and what we want to do. And people definitely have a very strong opinion of being fifty one and the way I dress.

And I'm like, I think it's different now, Like my mom would not have dressed like this. Yeah, and maybe I'm inappropriate whatever.

But find inappropriate though, Like right, so, I just want to be.

Me, and it's like that everyone takes that away from you, like they don't want to be.

I don't read it or listen to it. I know, I really don't idea. But maybe that's something that you maybe coming into the next phase of your life after your breakup and you're you know, going through your divorce and everything and coming into another phase, just embrace your fifties and.

Like be you. Who cares? What do you have to lose?

People say shit anyway, it's true, so you might as well be happy and do what you want to do.

They're gonna say it anyway.

I'm never gonna wear a business suit that wasn't me in my thirties, that wasn't did They.

Would be like, what the fuck is she doing wearing a fucking business suit? Yeah she looks weird.

Yes, so so you can't.

But I so who cares.

It's like we have very little control in this Like you're a people pleaser too.

I know myself when I'm talking to you, I'm talking to you while I'm talking to me.

Yep, yep, on the same page.

So okay, but it's true.

I'm like, we have so little control in life that it's like that's the one thing I can control is.

How I okay and Luk here's what I'm gonna say. You lost Luke M. Shannon recently. Life is fucking short. Yeah, be you and embrace yourself and don't worry what people say.

Do you know what I mean?

I do and just be you and enjoy it.

But is it inappropriate at a certain age?

Well?

Nice? Got frog my third doing that? Like when I'm seventy, can I dress how I want to dress? Do I have to have?

And let's just focus on now now?

Yeah, and then when you're seventy you worry about it then, So just be you now and stay in the moment and you're be you and enjoy it.

You have so much going on for you. I mean, you have this. It's like, I'm so happy for you.

It's it's such a good platform. I'm finally able to.

Be wonderful and I'm me and yeah, and who gives a shit? Say crap?

Anyway, you might as well have them say crap with you being you and enjoying your life then trying to pretend to be someone else or do something else to please other people.

Right, you know?

I was just I was just so uh in situations where I felt controlled and had to and and not talking about Dean. I understand where I felt controlled and I had to be a certain way and act a certain way to make sure everyone else was happy, and speak a certain way and not be too Yeah when we're getting.

When you're doing talk shows and it's like you don't even know who the hell you are anymore. Yeah, when you have to have a rehearse thing and oh you can't say that or this or that, it's like, oh, well shit, what can I say?

Right? I mean, I remember having a manager that when I was almost near the end of nine two.

Oho.

So I was blonde on nine o two and oh, and then I went red for the last few years and or more. And that was strategic because I had a mander then that was like, okay, you're we got to get you out of this mold. You know, the platin blonde and I want your hair dark and you got to be the girl next door. And I was like, well, I don't know how to relate to that because the house I grew up and it was an entire block. So the girl next door was me, me, and then me,

Me, inappropriate it's you being you and if they don't, who cares?

Like, let them be them?

Mm? You be you?

Right now? I'm able because here I am being me with you, which is great.

And what was the advice that Shannon always told you?

She told me to take back my power to speak up for myself. That be me, right yeah? And then and she said what are you scared of? I was like, and it was about making others feel smaller, and so I stay small to make them feel equaler or better than me or above me. I always was in the second position because of you grew up. Yeah, I felt that need like, yeah, they think I you know, if I'm wealthy, if i'm this, I'm not like. Oh, then I should make myself small so others feel like Oh see.

And I get it. Yeah, I'm happy for you. We have more to talk about.

Yes, we are going to have our little friend here, not little friend, but he's gonna come here and I will educate him on OnlyFans. Oh my gosh, Phil, we'll have Billy Boy Shatner here.

Oh my gosh. He would love Billy to talk to you. I would be amazing, the three of us. It would be fun. I should create something.

Okay, I'll go online and show him pictures.

That's what I'm going to do.

He did say he was confused. To talk him through it how someone could look clothed, And then if you like, I will pay more, get a damn jacate him.

I'll bring my iPad and go on my thing my and I will show him everything.

How fun would that be? Silly Shatner, You're such a.

Fun oh my god, I love you.

I love you.