Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.
Sorry thanks for having me on your podcast.
Oh my gosh, we're like together forever, Like this is so wait, what are we?
You're like the biggest losers dancing with the strassas I was seeing.
Oh my gosh, wait, so we were the first double elimination. We were out.
They thought, like the blondes have the most fun and they would just not get them out of here. Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I honestly did not expect to go home the first show.
I did not expect you to go home either, Like nothing would surprise me, like in my situation because I'm such a wild card. But I was trying and I was like, oh, I kind of improved. At first, I had concerns to be on the show because I thought, like I was thinking what it was going to do to like my image because obviously, like none of the older audience can relate to me because of my past.
So I'm like everyone who's a fan of me, they're like on the younger side, and it's not the kind of people who like watch live TV necessarily or like who know about Dancing with the Stars.
But they wanted a new audience the younger demo, so they brought that in.
Yeah. So I think what made me think how wild our elimination was because they wanted me to do all the things that you were like you were, I know, like it meant a lot to you, like you were into this we pulls exactly.
It was unlikely besties.
Yeah exactly. It's like you you enjoyed the dancing, and you're like, we're very vulnerable. Yeah. I think like you almost cried during the second dance. Yeah. And I think what I feel like when I'm being misunderstood is like when I say something is not for me, it doesn't mean like, oh I'm better than this, or like I'm condescending or something. It's like it's just something it's not for me, and it would be I think it's such
a like Mavnic interpretation of like my comment. Just because I say something like being a present is not for me, it's not because I'm condescending or I think I'm better than something. I think I'm just being realistic and recognizing what I'm good at and what i'm not good at. It doesn't mean oh, just because I cannot dance, everybody that dances it's like stupid and they say it like, yeah.
That's so interesting because I've been in this business for so long and been media trained and just like you know, I grew up in the business on camera, and you're always taught like don't say this, say this, and you know, you lose sight of kind of like your filter, their filter, and then you lose sight of what's real. So it's so interesting to hear that because I feel like I've been taught so much what not to say that it's like it's hard to be yourself. Yeah, you know what
I mean, because you're always worried what others are gonna think. Yeah, and you're the opposite. You're just saying what you think, what you feel, and it's not how they're interpreting it because they're like, no, it shouldn't be that way.
I think ideally, like you are supposed to figure out what she're good at and like lean into that, and it's better for like everyone's better for you, for the society. Like I'm not like you're an actress and like I'm not entertainer. I've never performed anything in front of live audience. I thought, let me do it, let me try it. Out it may or may not be for me, and I found it hard and I have respect for people who have the capacity to put themselves out out there
like this. But because I'm saying, oh, maybe that's not for me, it doesn't mean like oh, and it's like I thinks she's so much better than everyone else's interpretation. Yeah, I think I'm just like doing everyone in favor. It's sparing them from if I do watch me.
You're such a good answer. The thing that I was so impressed with is that were you nervous? Like you came out there and didn't look nervous, were you.
I think my thing is like I'm very so the way I've been introduced into the public eye is like through my criminal trial, and when you are in court, it's obviously like a public courtroom, so anyone can come in. They take pictures of you all day every day, like about seven hours, and there's nothing you can do about it.
So I'm like used to always being on guard and it doesn't benefit you to like cry or show any emotion because it will always be interpreted like in some way that's not beneficial to you.
Right, I mean, yeah, my story's totally different, but I've been like in the public eye forever, all eyes on me. You never know when someone's gonna stap a picture and someone's listening to you, like in public. Like it's that type of feeling, never being able to have privacy. But I was like terrified to do this, Like yeah, the two shows, like both dances, I was like, really scared. And I have huge eyes, so I feel like it's really hard for me to hide it. And I was like, Okay,
you're an actress, pretend you're not scared. But it's terrified. But I feel like, yeah, I mean, you performed great in front of everyone.
My eyes look wild as well. It is because I think that blue and like when you look at some of the pictures, you might think like I'm one, Like I don't know cocaine or add all or something. I just like have this. It's very easy to me to look crazy on camera, and like I'm being drug tested regularly, so it's like I'm not a failed to Troy test. So great. I look at some of my pictures and it was like, what, how what do I look like?
So I have bug eyes? You have crazy eyes? Yeah?
I was nervous, thank you, And I think my focus was like, oh, it's a dancing competition, so it's like I have to perform like the steps because that's how I've been trained. So it's like I was, yeah, born in Russia. It's like we did ballet. It's like you have to do the steps. Nobody wants to see you smile, and I think really in ballet you don't smile.
Interesting in the ballroom, they're all about like smile, smile. That was so hard for me. Yeah, I have never smiled, Like I hate showing my teeth, which I have brand new teeth now, so I have in ears. I can smile, but it's like I'm trained in my head to like hide my smile because I used to hate my teeth. So Pasha would tell me, like smile, smile, and I was like I can't.
But don't you find it jarring for like people to demand women to smile in twenty twenty four.
Point?
I mean, yeah, it's a different context. It's not like the construction side.
I mean there are.
But still it has like the remnants of like the kind of like the old patriarchal like border. Yeah, like that's yeah, you can only be good and considered or considered to be good. When you look pretty and smile and you have like five pounds of extensions and three pounds of makeup on you.
Why are you looking at me and saying.
I'm just kidding now, I mean I'm complicit.
Yeah, that's so interesting because ballroom dance is very old school. It's interesting like Pasha's instinct for me, like he would extend his hand when we were walking around set and for me to take his hand and go forward, and I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, I like to follow wait, which doesn't make sense, but I like, yeah, and.
You never know with the pros, it's like obviously they're being trained about like how to treat you, and like you never know what's sincere and what's just a job. And that was kind of like my main issue with being on the show, not my main issue, one of the issues. But you like Estra I do. Yeah. Yeah, he's a very sweet person.
Yeah, And imagine like his first season, Yeah, and he gets Hanna Delvy like he's probably like, oh my gosh, it's a blessing and a curse at the same time. Right, Yeah, I mean I.
Think it still ended up well for him, because yep, it's like either scenario. He wins. If I do well, he does well. If I do badly, it's my fault because he's a new one and I'm so bad and just negative. And it's just like the amount of negativity that I've gotten, like all the comments. So it's like when I post something on my profile, I think most of them are positive, but it's like a collaboration post or dancing with a starist or just like seeing something
on their profile. On others, it's just people universally feeling for Ezra, feeling bad for Ezra, which is like, come on, it's like it's his job. He's still getting paid for it. I'm not like some abuser. I'm not dodging some of those.
Yeah. I felt bad for Pasha like getting me yeah at it.
I mean it's just like they sign up for the job and they now like you are not gonna get I don't know.
Ezra loves you, I know.
Yeah, he's a sweet guy.
Yeah, it's such a good guy. I feel like it was a good pairing. Yeah. I feel like all our pairings were actually correct. Yeah, I think where did you laugh?
I think it would have been interesting if they had like a Shuffle episode.
Yeah, okay, who would you want?
I don't know, just I don't really know much about the show, I have to say so I only watched season where Jojo was on it in twenty twenty one, so and I feel.
I was very specific.
Because I was in jail, so gohead. I could not really watch anything else. I would have been interesting to like do like a partner switch or even like just for a day for their training for.
The season, like who who would you want?
I would have. I would want to like try everyone nine, try on everyone yeah, same girl's name, Like maybe it's just you do a week where I think we're the only whatever six couples left, and you all of them try like a different partner. I don't know. Maybe it would be fun like I think it would be, yeah, and then you just like see whoever like works best.
Oh.
I also another thing, another idea I thought it would be funny for them to do is to do celebrity with celebrity. I would love to like do a dance at Reginald yep because it seems like they try to pair, like they tried to cast like fifty to fifty women and men. So oh, it is like maybe not as part of the main episode, but like maybe some like kind of like a five minute special, like a little wow, like what would happen with you?
And Alona?
I like her too. I'd have her flip me over any day.
She flipped Alan over. Wow, that was like.
Wild, I'm lighter than Alan. I think that was crazy.
So you know it's ABC, Disney, Blas, Hulu the next day, so you're PC and they do have a thing before like make sure you guys were going live like don't no one say that upward, like don't so I curse a lot wear like a trick drip and I yeah, really had to reel it in with this experience.
So I'm producing. I produced couple of fashion show with shows with Kelly Katron during the fashion week. And because we represent like young designers, not all of them necessarily have like the budget for like a great venue and to produce a fashion show like costs like up to two hundred thousand dollars, like including models and the staff. So and some of them, I mean like they did basically like a collaboration with Cornhub porn Hub Wow, who like paid for part of the venue and and everyone
was super nice it was just like a cornhob. Yeah to introduce me. Yeah, they have a very interesting podcast. I did like a panel on the podcast them Terms of Service, and they talk about free speech and like censorship and yeah, and it's the one of the showrunners.
And as Akira, she was like, would you do only fans?
No?
Okay, should I do only fans?
It's af to you whatever you.
But no, no, no. As as my friend like just got instinct, what would.
You say, I would say no. I think it kind of like cheapens your brand, and like it's brand, it makes it easier for people to dismiss you or like discarge you as desperate. I like that, but I don't know, I have not really. So my thing is, like I have been banned from social media until like August of this year, so I haven't been considering that.
So you were off social media for help.
Twenty two months. I mean I was like in various chairs in prison, so obviously, like I was able to post, but like through my managers, what will they go to post?
Post?
Not much? And then the immigration judge just like decided I don't deserve to post on Instagram, even though that was against the first Amendment and it just took it like, yeah, twenty two months to get for the system. And I didn't argue with it at all, Like we didn't have to put up the fight. And what do I get, Like I could sue the government. It probably take me twenty years and like five million dollars in legal fees, like, but it is what it is. But I'm the bad one.
What's your favorite platform?
Instagram? I think, Yeah, I'm not tech savvy, like really bad. It takes me forever to do that stuff, but I do it. I have an AOL account. Is that gone before? It still works? It works?
Yeah, I have quite quite a history with Aol account.
Really wait, what do you mean? What?
No, whatever, just google it and yeah. Like my first exposure to the media was like through like my legal proceedings and it's like everyone's against you. Everything was used against me, like my tweets. So I was sentenced to what four to twelve years in prison, which my minimum was no jail time. And apparently I was like on them like a first time offender in that I repaid my institution before even leaving prison from the Netflix proceeds.
But apparently I was like on the worst but I guess the judge wanted to make an example out of me because of the old media exposure I've gotten, which was not really what like. It was not because I was trying to sell myself because I was in jail the whole time. It was like because of like one media article the New York magazine. So my primary exposure to like media was like I always had to be
on defensive. And when I got out of prison, so whoever, like the people who picked me up, they handed me my phone, like a fully functioning phone with all like Instagram, all of my accounts on there, and I just like did not get off of it for the next six weeks, and.
I had tons of change.
I had like so much fun tweeting and being on Instagram, and it's like it's wild, even though I kind of grew up on Instagram in a way. I mean, I started using it when I was about twenty one, I think. I mean, we had like this social media network called like school or CEC, like in Germany they got it
got deleted like one bankrupt or something. But it was like it's like Facebook, but only for school, like literally, so it's basically you register it and you have to like pick your school and your class, okay, and then you have like a pin board and you have like a chat so it's like no adults allowed. But like I guess I went bankrupt. And this is when like Facebook became really big. So thank god I don't have
like any fourteen old pictures of me out there. Wait really yeah, so it got deleted, like nothing got saved. I think I'm not sure what happened to them, Like wait, yeah, I think they just they either sault to someone or I don't know, wait they what like they salt to like some bigger company, but I don't know, like they just disabled everyone's accounts. I just was not like that tech savvy of nineteen too. I want to dig.
I wish there weren't pictures that we had fourteen Oh wait, so you gotta Okay.
So I got out of prison and then I just started tweeting right away.
I think un a black bear, just curious.
I found it was twenty twenty one.
Oh my god, and I started saying it's.
Like, uh, well, the Manhattan DA's office said something like, well, the masquerade is over. We convicted Anna Delvi. So I we tweeted like the Da Vansa's tweet, who is like the Manhattan chief prosecutor, the district attorney. I said, good job. And then I said and I said, looking for a seven hundred and fifty million dollar alone from my next mon Fortress investments, Any takers? And I said, my rap
sheet long and than yellow digs can ever be. And then the best common and that was like, well, like a like a regular sheet is like obviously longer than in the average size, so like it's they were all hits. So it was really fun to you. I have to listen to my own twits in like a court room setting and a context of meeting denied bail.
You're a fucking genius.
So yeah, yeah, I had to pay the price. Definitely. I think there should be like a comedic license that should apply to me as well. But to us.
We take this on the road. Oh you can't wait, wait, I can for like for work, you go with the ankle bracelet.
So my current conditions, I'm allowed to travel within seventy five miles of my approved residence and within seventy within five boroughs of the New York City.
So and I'm a born raised in La what's a borough.
It's Manhattan, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island, Brooklyn.
Oh we do I sound really dumb not knowing that. Oh yeah, Burrough's a donkey. What are you guys talking about? Oh Burrow just an accent? What do you want me to do?
I didn't understand I have four and you just say I don't.
I'm blonde coming a break.
So anyway, don't worry about it.
I'm not.
I could barely understand whatever Anna was saying.
I would never wait. Can I talk about inventing Anna? Sure?
I have not watched it, so you know more about it than I not much.
Okay, So my friend Morgan, who is here tonight, over there, So I it was twenty twenty one. I had I had my boobs readam and I had a hernia from my five C sections. I don't know why I allowed this, but I was like, I really only want one surgery. And the doctor was like, oh, I'm a general surgeon, so I've worked with hernia as before. I can do that while you're under and also do your boobs. So I said, okay, great, and then they put you up at like a hotel that's like a surgery center and
they have nurses there. Anyway, I went there and I was there especially there Morgan like one day, I was like, it's my son's birthday. I'm going to be I'm going to get through this and check out in one day. Anyway, I went there and I was in an extreme amount of pain, and I was like, I think something's wrong. But they didn't believe me. And they were like, oh. The doctor's like, maybe you don't have a high pain tolerance.
It's like you don't understand what I've been through. I've had five babies, Like I have a high pain tolerance. I get like everything. I have a high paint And he was like, oh, well, this is weird that you're in this much pain. Anyway, Morgan's like, take your mind off of it, distract yourself. You should watch Inventing Anna Yes literally her words. And I was like, Okay, did
it work? I don't remember it because I literally was in so much pain on so many medications, pills, and then ambient to sleep at this hotel whatever that I was, well, I was like mid into it. I think I was like on episode seven. So I pulled an all nighter on my medication and pain, and then I called Morgan in the morning. I'm like, I, something's wrong. You have to take me to the hospital, and so she picked
me up, so I didn't finish inventing Anna. She shook me to the hospital and literally where they had repaired the hernia, it exploded and I was in cedars for six weeks.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I mean blame Shonda. I didn't know it was that bad.
And everyone I know loved it. And you should you from that because I didn't even recall. But I have PTSD because my floaded while I was trying to watch that show.
You should join Rachel Williams in he a lawsuit. I can't s Netflix, but.
I did, like, I did try to go online because I was like, I don't want the like faux version of you and like and obviously.
I'd say inventing and I made my insights explode. My second makes them look stupid because you never see me suing anyone. I could be suing like people like Deformation, this and that. Like you never see me suing anyone. I think people who are suing other people are the ones who are like the losers and the ones who are better. I have not sued anyone people are suing me and they don't lose all the time. Yeah, I have not have I don't have a single lawsuit against
anyone with me as a plane. Yeah, it's just, yeah, your time is better used to like working to something productive and creating and not like trying to exploit other people for I Like, it's like a little thread here and there. It's like a little spice.
Are you on cameo?
No?
Do you want to be?
I refuse to be?
Why.
I think it's time.
I don't. I always forget, but why I don't know.
It's like kind of cheapens your brand too. Like I've been offered to be in cameo. It's like, oh, I'll say anything if you pay me. I've been approached by Kimyos so many times. I just don't think, Like I'm not an actress, and I don't know, Like I just I don't know. I would. It feels so dirty doing that.
I don't know, like sending a fan of video.
I think. I guess that's not the main problem. I guess the how it's being portrayed in the media, Like it would not do me any favor yet right now, Yeah, I don't think anything like there's anything bad with it. I think it's like super cute and sweet. I know a ton of people who do it, and it's like it helps a lot of them. But like in combination with me, that will just like say Anna as like a scammer, opportunist, and like it's just not it's going to feed into what I want to be removed from.
So it's like a cheap and lazy, easy way to make money and I'm trying to stay away from that. Yeah, I'm failing obviously. But Toris is such like a legend and she has so much Like she has so much time, be like she put in the work while I'm being seen as like I'm like somewhat young, that young, but I'm being seen as like like a one hit wonder or whatever.
You're around, it would have been would have been done.
Yeah, So it's like you managed to stay relevant for all those years in one way or another.
It's like the reverse. We're like the reverse, Like the way we each came into this situation of like media.
Yeah, and like it's our attitudes towards the show there was so different different yeah, and that's why I like, what could I have done better? Because they were like, Oh, you have to smile more, and you have to be more emotional, you have to like put so much into It's like, well Tori has done yeah, and I mean the show, it's like it's more your.
Audience apparently not.
Yeah, apparently. I was so surprised. It's like I would have like, you would have been the last person that would have been evicted.
Did you see evicted?
Evicted, eliminated.
All places?
I mean, I'm boring, don't mind.
Eliminated. Yeah, It's it's so.
Weird because now this makes me think it's like if I like we're crying doing my dance, which is like not my personality at all, Like that would not have made anything different because like it feels like they just decided to like hate us.
So like who the people at home voting?
So I'm not sure how the show works. I know nothing about the show. Unfortunately, I probably should have researched it more before I went.
I don't know, I didn't know how voting worked. I knew like when I used to watch the show, you could call or text. Yeah, I used to watch the show, but I never called her.
Yeah, Like it's such a weird thing to do. It's like unless you, like, unless it's a friend like I'm texting with regularly, it's like, oh, text and like vote for me, Like why would you do that? So's like a weird thing to do, like unless you.
Have for us apparently, so yeah.
Unless you have like a fan mentality, it's just like not the mindset of the people of like I don't know, my audience is not this right, they're not.
Yeah, yeah, like your audience are like my kids and they're not. Yeah, they would have no idea how to like text and not not no idea, but like it's not.
They don't even know what the show is on. They don't and like nobody watches life to be it's like all stream I know. Yeah, So I think it's like it's actually they followed because they're so outdated, and I think if the goal was to stay relevant.
Yeah, just stay relevant and like what would it be to they can make that transition because I feel like they're trying to. They haven't completely done it, but I.
Think it's if you have a collaboration with Disney Plus and like all the streamers, it's like so many of my friends that is like, well I knew you were going to be lost, especially during their premiere. So just like I watched it on Disney Plus. I like, I don't blame people. It's like two hours of your time. It's a lot of time to like dedicate, and not
everyone has that. And even I'm like, I don't have family, I don't have kids, and it's like even I am busy and I'm like when I was complaining about my schedule dancing with the Stuss, like I was like, I cannot be the only one because yeah, I was like I was thinking about all the people with the kids, and like kids have all kinds of issues, and it's
like I cannot be them most problematic person here. And I don't know, and it's so much easier to like go yeah on Disney Plus and stream the episode and like watch the person you care about. I don't know, they just need to update it.
But it's like breaking into two nights. Maybe I don't know.
Yeah, or just I don't know. I think like the voting doing the Life whatever broadcast, it's just like, so.
I would it be then how do we get votes?
Just like Instagram and TikTok and Twitter, and I don't know, there must be some solution, Yeah, because it's so easy to listen to you for next season if you offer solutions. I mean, I don't care.
It's not my.
It's not my problem. But I think it's just like the show, it's cute to be in disadvantage for like younger audience. Like even Chandler. She's an amazing dancer. I think she's like a beautiful girl, and she dances so well. She has I think, like I don't know like half of my following, and it's true, and it's probably I think she's like ten years younger than me or something
like which one of the kids are watching ABC. Dancing with This Star is live and like voting, it's kind of like a bizarre thing.
My friend thinks it's all young people. Like all of my followers and fans didn't understand that they had to vote at five o'clock and do a blind vote even though it's airing at eight and they won't see it till then.
I think there's just like nothing comparable. I think now if you have like verified social media accounts that could like count. I'm kind of fit, Like I'm not like three hundred pounds and I'm like a decent dancer. I'm not like the best, but like I don't think I've done the worst job on the show.
A really good dancer, a beautiful dancer.
Well, I don't know. This is like the way I see it. It's like I don't think, I think. I like, I'm obviously not a pro. I've done like my best. I'm somewhat fit. I think I improved kind of doing the like the second dance and the choreography was not
really challenging, but it's not my responsibility. And I just don't know what I could have done better because I think, like I just think, yeah, I could have done like any technical mistakes technical like sorry, my form both your yeah, yeah, my farm could have been like a bit better.
Like your frame in my friend that I thought it was amazing, like watching you and I had no expectations. I had no idea. I know you had mentioned that you had done ballet, but like I I watched you before for the first time, I was like, oh my god, she's a beautiful dancer.
Thank you, and like you're as well. You're extremely flexible, like you you have split is better than mine.
You do a split too.
I did split an espresso.
Did you m m.
But whatever, you didn't watch.
Wait no you know what? No, No, no, I didn't.
Yes, it is much better than mine, but it's like it takes practice. You have split is much better than mine.
Your first show when you went, because there was some reason you were, you came in last, right.
Well, they told me it was like an honor.
To close the show. Yeah, I mean it is. They, in my opinion, probably put you last because it was a big wow factor, like too somewhere in the middle, Like like I was in the middle. I was like, oh, I loves boring TV. As like a producer in my mind, I'm like, okay, you want like the ones that are going to like draw big, like it's going to be first or last and you close the show. Yeah, yeah, you always want to close the show. I mean you're the biggest tad.
Obviously I was not not for too long.
I mean, you're a great dancer and this isn't even your thing, so like to come.
Yeah, I think I was decent. I'm not like one of the greatest dancers to world has ever seen.
Who is on that show except for well Chandler, Like.
Chandler is good.
I think it's great.
She's pretty, and she's like an actress. She has like all the attributes that make her but like, I don't know, I don't know how many votes would she get because how we don't know. Yeah, because she's younger. Yeah, she's like a decade younger than I am.
And you feel like her audience isn't watching dancing.
I'm not sure. I mean, obviously she's still on the show. She's better than that, but it would not be fair to her if my understanding is like younger people don't really watch Life to be like, because who has Basic Cable?
Because that's what the show is on. Like most of the people they have like Netflix and like the subscriptions, So thats just like always like the exposure and they will obviously watch the clips and like YouTube videos, but not like what matters if the votes during the live show really matter, which no one can tell because if I'll ever release the data, that's just unfair, Like I don't have.
Basic cable audit them.
Sure, yeah, let's combine the forces with pretty little Bill.
Well, how about I'll pay you back?
Okay, let's do it. We'll combine like your audience and my audience will.
Oh my gosh, wait, so the time we sput on the show election Fraud, I said that the other day.
I was like, I mean, I don't I'm not having like a really hard time believing like no one voted for me, because same, my my audience is like gen z oh Young Millani, and you're having a hard time believing or not not like really, oh, I'm having a really hard time vote for me. I mean you're like such a like you have such a track record and you're like very Hollywood like a lay as your city. I'm like, you are.
In my audience. Yeah, in your audience exactly. Yeah. They would have texted.
This is what I like kind of reinforced me in my opinion, because you are exactly what they wanted me to be, like vulnerable and you're emotional and you like really wanted to be on it, and it's all good things.
Just like so we were eliminated and they were They came to me for and asked about the experience, and I was just so in my I was just like in another world, like it was all like happening so fast, and I didn't even know what Julianne asked you because I was just turned to Pasha and I was like still, like, oh my god, I'm so sorry, Like shit, I got you eliminated. I don't know what I was thinking, And I didn't see it till like Instagram the next day that she said, we're.
Yeah, I believe that because you're like you so in your own moment and uh, but do I have to say I'm glad it was you who gotta limit with me and the Reginald because it would have been so much more sadder for me. It would like put me on the same dancing skill level as you, Like.
You'd be sadder if it was him and not because it was me.
No, no, yeah, because it would like, yeah, that would like compare my dancing skills to genes if we both were elevated. So at least you are a fairly decent dancer. Like we're not pros. I mean I'm not. I don't see myself as a pro by any means this. Yeah,
we're adequate, we're adequate, I think. Yeah, So I see I was els like on an adequate net level and we got eliminated and people who were I think below us got to stay on the show and makes it like a bit sus for a show that's called dancing with the stars, and not like gossiping with the stars or frock yeah the stars, or yeah, making friends with the stars. Yeah, dancing with the pros. None of this. So it's a bit suspicious, but it is what it is.
This is true.
But fraternizing with the stars, Yeah.
No, fraternizing that a good one. That's a good one.
So I'm glad you're my partner in this elimination. It could have been Forest Tory, admit it. Well, I would you have Eric over me? No, because I, like I.
Said, like, all I knew about you coming into this was inventing Anna, and obviously I've told you the story. So everyone loved that show on Netflix. I didn't get through it because I had exploding. It was pretty testing. So yeah, so I came into this just like getting to know you, and I really liked you and we connected.
And I didn't watch that show either, So that makes two of us so perfect. Should we watch it maybe someday?
Yeah?
Well, I'm getting Subpeanut by Rachel Williams and I'm telling them I didn't watch it. So let's see you until like that lawsuit is things seem towards stand Oh.
Wait, she she played your friend on the show exactly.
Yeah, and she said she's no.
This is a real life story, sorry, real events. But they put through every episode because I did pieces of it like not based on real events, like semi fictional that.
Took liberty events. It's like it's up to the audience to decide what was real and what was not. I like that day, that's what the disclaimer was in front of it.
Really yeah, okay, So Julian then turned to you and said, what will you take from this experience? And you said so.
While you were talking, I thought like Toy was everything that I don't know my team and like the production team were expecting me to be and then wanting me to smile and be vulnerable and just kind of like I only had a couple of seconds to think about.
That, and I was like, wow, I talk a lot, and I just went on my babble. Sorry I left you with no.
No, no, not at all. But they just said it's like, well, you will never win the show if you're like on the defensive all the time, if you like have this guard on, if you never smile, and if you make people feel like you don't want to be on it, and I felt like you were a complete opposite and you felt like, I mean, people know you so much
better than me. I'm kind of like newer in comparison to you, and you have like such a like a longer extended story and you like you almost cry doing this song and you related to it while with me.
For example, I got a roofed by Ice to be on a show on Tuesday, and on Wednesday, while I was in the car going to the airport, they were like, well, we have to decide on all your songs right now, and I'm like, just I don't know, and like they have such an easy way out of any song that they don't like you to do by saying, oh, we
cannot like license it. So like I just sent them like a playlist of like hundred songs that I thought like kind of were relevant to me, and like they picked something and I was like, whatever, ledge just do it. Because I had so many things to take care of, Like I had to deal with my parole, I had to take care of Ice. Because it's like if these people decide like I'm disrespecting them. If I had to go to New Rochelle for half a day on Wednesday to get like a travel pass for the show because
I live in cold Spring. In cold Spring belongs to New Rochelle and it's like in the middle of nowhere. It took me two hours to get there. I drove Kelly Katron's like rain rover, which is a tank. I missed the turn like five times because the navigation is like so incomprehensible. It's in the middle of nowhere, and I was like, I cannot call these people saying it's like where is this office. It's like literally in the middle of nowhere. I could not find it. Like I
almost started crying. I was like, I was supposed to be there by ten. It's like ten thirty. Like I keep missing the turn and I keep setting me back by fifteen minutes and it was just a disaster. And they were like, well, you don't have a signed contract. I was like, I just cut the permission like fifteen minutes ago from like the other people. And they were like, well, we cannot give you permission because what if you go there and they're going to like pay you ten dollars
for it. I was like, why is it your problem? I me, it's like shouldn't it be my problem, Like I choose to work for hoever, Like for whoever I choose to work for Yeah, and yeah. So I spent like half a day being there, and you can we be on the phone when you're like an evading waiting room. So I had to like go outside and like get checked back in and they're like, what songs do you want to do? Tell us right now? And I'm like this whatever, just like leave me alone. I have like
real life things to do. And I was like, oh, what does the song mean to you? I was like nothing, it was just like the easiest way out.
So the song from Double Worst Product, Like was that not your idea?
I mean I just it was like the most obvious choice. I had five seconds to think about it, and like I just don't have like a profound explanation for it, just because of the circumstances I've been subjected to. And I also had to do Fashion Week because I'm working with Kelly, a good friend of mine, and I committed to those projects and I couldn't just say it's like, well, I'm doing Dancing with the Stars. I'm just like not gonna like participate in this like I would.
Have been Yeah, considering like, yeah, you couldn't come back to LA, so you and Ezra stayed in New York? Was that hard? I mean, I don't even know they have such their setup in La the dance studio. I can't even imagine.
Well, they originally told me are we going to do anything to accommodate you? And they flew Ezra out and we were rehearsing in the studios in New York, and I mean it was fine. It was like smaller cameras. I guess last staff. I miss Simon. Hey, Simon, he's still texting me camera the camera guy I came out, Yeah, who was responsible for fing us in New York? And yeah, yeah, So after after I've heard your speech, and I thought like, oh my god.
Whatever, like, oh god, shut the fuck.
Not at all, because I thought like they want the Tories everything that they were expecting or like wanting me to.
Be I'm gone you like yeah, And.
Then I was like, well all of this were just senseless and Reginald one and like he's a great person and he's like a cultural icon, but he's not a good dancer. And I thought like I signed out for a dancing competition and not like a popularity competition who is like the most well liked person in Hollywood, Like, no, thank you, same.
I guess yeah, Like if I thought I really couldn't move, I wouldn't have.
Said yes exactly. And I thought like, well if Toy lost, and like I saw your performance and it was great, and like, I know you enjoyed this, and I just like thought, like you guys tried to like build me up and say I should smile more and do like x y Z and do this and that and like just to eliminate me. And I felt like it was an embarrassment to both of us to be eliminated before every convegald.
Like, I don't know if I feel embarrassment. I'm bummed, I'm mad, I'm competitive as a book, so I'm like pissed. Okay, So I was babbling and I was like, oh my god, this is the best experience ever. And then they came to you and you're like, okay, shit, so you said nothing, Wait so it's my fault.
No, not no, not at all, because I thought like, well they were building me up. It's like, oh, well, only if you smile more, only if you do like x y Z. It's going to be so much better for you. And it felt like they put so much effort and trying to get me on a show and like make me feel comfortable, just to like eliminate me
like this early. And I see it, yeah, like a bit of an embarrassed, like like an attempt of an embarrassment for us to get eliminated before Eric or Reginald like in a dancing competition, even though in the end it's not that big of a deal. And I think, well, I know you've never committed any crime, so I'm like talking just about myself, so you know.
Exactly.
Yeah, it just felt a bit upsetting to me. For me, it felt like a waste of time for me to just like do all of this for them to like just discard me so easily. I know the show was very excited to have me on, but the latch part of the audience, it's just like not the people who would usually be excited about me in general, And it's not someone who like necessarily watches life TV or like
votes yeah, text, so it was not that surprising. So, yeah, it felt a little bit embarrassing to be voted off before I understood some of the other people on the show. But it is what it is and it's fine, and yeah, I never had high expectations for my show for myself.
Right, I didn't think that in myself, Like I had no expectations. And then once I got in it, though, I got a little competitive because I was like, oh, I'm starting to do this and I'm actually good at it. I mean you had to know, like once you were doing rehearsals, you were like, oh, wow, like a ballroom dance because yeah, you have beautiful lines.
So you're like extremely flexible and uh, yeah you'll like show.
We looked good.
Yeah, it seems like you're doing everything that they want you to do, like you smile and uh.
You can never tell. But like my partner kept saying to me, you just never know, yeah, like you just can't predict what's going to happen. Yeah, and that's yeah, Like I didn't think you'd go first. Well maybe maybe I thought you go first. Like it could have gone two ways.
I felt like, yeah, I would you go first. I would like or either make it to the finale, like it would like this is like what No, that way it felt like that was a strategy because it's like so it's very subjective. Who is really the judge of Like the scores were like so scattered. Actually we should like assemble a panel of the real ballroom pros, like an independent party.
And I love her thinking you were so clever, so smart, Oh my god.
And to judge everyone's dances someone who is like has no interest in any of the any of the outcomes in any of the competitors, and just like to estimate without any backgrounds, any names, just like the pure technique. And then combine you just created a new show. Yeah, combined with the woodience boats, they should be the yeah ballroom jurors exactly. This is okay, So because it feels it feels reasonable for the amount of backlash I think
both of us are getting, Like why not. It just seems like it seems like it's been mostly negative experience, at least for me. Then I was a positive perspective.
But I guess it's hard for me because I got to know you and I really like you, and it's different, but like, okay, I'm taking myself out of it, uh, and just watch you, Like I think you're a beautiful dancer, and I wanted to see more of you because I know, they made the comments about smiling, but then you did bring that the second week, so like I wanted to see you go on and get comfortable, and so it's putting the difference between what was what you thought was
expected of you and who you are and seeing that evolution. I wanted to see that, and Korea.
Was not my responsibility obviously, like yes, you know, so I was just like following directions and with a second dance, I thought like, technically, I've done like all of it correctly, and this very little I could have done better, like maybe yeah, the frame and like the head or like maybe the smile, but everything else, I felt like I've just performed it the way I've been told to. So it's like, what else is it for me to do? And this is what made me feel kind of discouraged.
And it's like, yeah, it's not like I messed up, like I didn't show up. They're like, I don't know, ten hours late.
Or technically everything right, yeah, but you're right at the end of the day, it is.
So it just feels so unreasonable and U they love and.
They yeah, it's true. So in that moment when she turned you and you said nothing.
Because that was the truth. I think, like, well, you guys told me what I'm supposed to do. I tried to do it, and then I still was rejected. And I'm taking away nothing. Is what I'm taking away from it because your advice was worthless. The advice that you gave me did not pay off for me, even though I tried to follow it right. And this is how I felt.
That's totally fair.
Yeah, well, I know like people were trying to interpret my answer like in a different ways, but now not really, I really did not take away much from this experience other.
Than that you got to meet me exactly. It all worked out.
I think I had to be on the defensive, especially like after all the backlash that received being cast on the show, even though the producers I think Conrad made a great job just like trying to defend me, and I think everyone on a cast was generally very nice to me. But in the end, I don't know, so I'm not familiar with like in the workings of the show, but like the fact that yeah, you and I were eliminated before other members, it's just seems a little bit unbelievable. And I don't know.
All double elimination. I'm a good company. I'd rather Yeah.
Yeah, I'm glad it's you and not anyone else.
Okay, so now you're leaving me. We just became friends. Are going back to New York. Wait, what's next? What's happening next for you?
Well? I love New York. You should come to New York. Do you ever come?
Rarely? It's always work like I, oh yeah, remember like we flew to New York for GMA. While you were there. Oh no, you were in La. You flew back and it was fashion Week and I had to go back and do rehearsals, and you were like stay and I was like, oh my gosh, that would be amazing to experience fashion week with you.
Well, you are definitely going to be invited to the next fashion Way weekend February. Oh okay, I stay with you, of course. And we definitely need to do like a dance off with all the celebrities or like the partner switch.
I would love that.
I'm sure we're going to have like a million different networks. We'll be willing to.
Can you talk about your documentary?
I mean it's been exciting. They've been following me around for almost two years now, and I'm excited for it to come out.
I am too, because literally, like no one knows your side.
Yeah, because I've been incarcerated for so long, and like people, it was so easy for others to tell my story now and my story has been told by other people, and I'm excited to reclaim my narrative and show everyone what kind of person I really am.
I'm excited for that because yeah, that I mean, I've gotten to know you just knowing you, and I really like the human I know. So I'm excited for the world to see your side.
Yeah, and I'm excited if nothing else. I got to meet Allly amazing people right yourself, and I like Alona and Steven very sweet.
Are you still filming your documentary? Of course, yeah, no pressure. But like.
The web in broad up round, the media is like I'm always on a defensive. I know everything is going to be used but against me, like in a court setting, and like at this point, I don't care if you call me like ugly, stupid or fat or whatever, Like I just care, like, oh, don't put me back in jail, which is what happened to me. And this is how I treat the media. And it's so much easier for me to talk like to other people who I know, like the I'm not going to like it must.
Just be like who who you can trust? You can't you feel like you can't ever let your guard down. I'm sorry, I'm I'm glad I got to know you in this. I know the experience you feel like maybe wasn't everything you had signed up for, But I'm really glad that you and I got to meet because I don't know if we ever would have and who knows exactly.
It was so wild and it's like what an honor. I think that we're like the worst answers. We were worse than Reginalds, and.
You're seeing it wrong just like particular like worse.
It's us, none of them are, and it's a dancing show. It's our story. So that's something we have in common.
There were the worst answers. Great, Yeah, like I didn't have enough insecurity. That's my listener.
Thanks,