Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.
Okay, this is a super special episode because I am at the most amazing home. By the way, can I just like rent out when I have money, like a corner of your house just to do my podcast weekly? Because this is stunning. I'm with my longtime friend Shannon and we are here on a new episode of Misspelling. We just did your episode. I feel like we talked about everything. Is there anything else? I'm just kidding. We have so much history, you guys, like we could literally do old season of stories.
Yeah, I mean we you know, had four hours in a plane and we didn't stop talking. Yeah. No, So we just got back from steel Car still sitting gone.
Easy for you to say, Yeah, we did an autograph signing convention. Shannon did it on her birthday, like over that weekend, which is very admirable, and we flew home on private jet. I like saying it's your private chat because it just sounds like.
He just likes to say it's mine. Awesome, Okay, it sounds exier for the story. But it's my best friend christ Yeah, it's his. But yeah, you know, you have your own pillow, so it's yours.
Yes, fifty to fifty.
Yes, sure, as long as I don't have to puy for it on fine.
Great.
I also didn't make enough money to do that yet. But yeah, no, he's very gracious.
By the way.
Okay, this is something only because you said Shannon, you know, worked on her birthday weekend. I got there. I flew in Friday, which was my birthday. I was never scheduled to be at the convention on Friday. Ever. I was always scheduled to be there Saturday and Sunday. So it was always that way, right, always that way. But I got there Saturday, and it wasn't just one fan, it was everybody in my line was like, oh my god, we came yesterday because you were supposed to be here yesterday.
And it just reminded me of being in my early twenties and being blamed by other people for freaking everything yes, And I sat there being like, oh my god, I don't want these people to think that I'm just canceling haphazardly and I don't care about their time and their money wasted, which is why I said something in the panel where I was like, I was never scheduled to be here on Friday, because I just thought, I'm not going down this path because I'm doing a nine h
two zero convention. I'm not going down this path. Where all of a sudden, I started getting blamed again for everything. I was like, absolutely not this. I was never supposed to be here. But it's funny how moments like that trigger you back into another time period.
Yeah you regress, yes to that moment. Yeah wow, I mean I don't even know what to say, Like that is something and.
You will shoulder that forever.
Like that blame for things that happened didn't happen. It's just one of those things that it's hard not to let it define you. But it's like that thing. They're like, no, I've moved past that, but what do you do? Like it's one of those things like I know you speak out, but like a lot of times when people blame me for stuff, like I don't even want to say anything. It's just like do comment? Do you not comment? Because it doesn't matter. They're going to think what they think anyway.
I think there are some things that you have to clear up, okay, because I think they're so incredibly personal. My divorce, for instance, like I had to clear up some of that stuff because it just felt it felt
very wrong to me, you know. And I started a podcast called Let's Be Clear because they do want to be clear, because my entire purpose of doing this podcast is to relive a lot of my life and take responsibility and accountability for all the things that I did wrong, which is plenty right, like I messed up a lot, but also to go, I didn't do this, this, this, this, and this, and as a woman back then, what I was doing back then would have been applauded today.
Correct.
What's really interesting is there's a agent slash. I guess he's now a manager who is married to someone blah blah blah. Anyway, he wrote in her comment section. I almost like put it on my Instagram just to show that even though we've made great strides in this business, there are still people like this guy who feel like they can bully and harass a woman publicly and refer to things that A he doesn't know about. B He wasn't there and there's zero proof, right, Like he was like, Oh,
she's the one who you know got fired from Nineers. No, she's the one who's had problems with everybody. She's the one who's done this, Like he listed a whole thing and basically was trying to call me a liar. And I read the comment and I was like, oh my god, I thought we had rooted out all of you men talking about I know, but I thought we'd rooted men out like that in the business. But I guess we still have some that we need to yeah, haul out of there.
But I mean, especially back then, Yeah, you couldn't say anything because there was no platform to say anything, no platform, and we were schooled that, you know, you don't make a comment. Everything goes through a publicist, and we're almost like coached how to speak. And like I look at interviews from nine or two to zero and I'm like, it's not even my voice, Like, oh my god, I
had a different voice. I was being so not authentically me because I was you know, there's so many people that are like you just say this, this is what's happening, and you go, okay, okay, okay, And so how do you stand up for yourself publicly and get to people and reach them. I mean, now we are lucky because we can just say what we want and we control to a certain degree our own narrative because we have our own platforms.
My mom was like, you got to watch this last night, and it was on YouTube me in an interview with our Cineo hall and on nine into and oh and I we.
Loved him er the yate we always saw there.
Oh my god, that's right my voice. I'm going to try to imitate my voice. Back then, it was like, well, you know, I think that maybe it's just that I like it was a baby voice. Yes, And I don't know if if I put that voice on for those interviews or if it was just before I became a smoker. I mean, not that I smoke anymore obviously, but no, you know, preparation, like.
Like finding your own voice. It stood for that.
Yeah, we all have a different voice.
Jason's voice is different back then. Yeah. Yeah.
Don't you think Ian's voice is the same. Yep, I think Gabs is the same.
Yeah.
I think Jen's kind of sounds the same. I think Brian obviously changed throughout the show because he went through puberty.
Literally puberty on the show. For him, We love him only he could go through puberty on the show and look good, like sound good.
You were obsessed with him, I know, wait, okay, so.
We've shared a lot of things over the years. I did not know until I listened to your podcast that you hooked up with Brian.
Oh my god, what yeah yeah, way later, like maybe never mind, maybe I was doing Charmed. I don't know. It was so much later and I was living at the Marmott House. But it was really short lived. It was short and it wasn't like it's like we tried something and then we just went and yeah, this is gonna work. Like the kissing didn't even make sense. Like we were like, this is not I.
Can't even imagine you guys kissing.
I know, I know, I can't imagine it now either, right, Like that's why I didn't go anywhere, because it was awkward. It was super awkward. We were like, this is not I mean, of you guys would have been super hot together, but I just yeah, it was so like there was no fireworks because we were so close and we hadn't known each other since we were like little kids essentially, so there was just no And I love Brian, He's one of my favorite humans, but there was no spark.
Wow, So we've shared even more than I thought. There you go.
We shared Brian Saliva. It's not that bad. So wait.
So we were just looking at photos because I'm clearing out my storage and found all these crazy photos from our trips and we used to travel a lot.
Oh oh my god, oh my god.
So my seventeen year old was looking at these and he's like, Shan, it's hot. And I was like, whoa, that's so crazy because we were like his age. Then yeah, anyway, I found a picture in Maui, so you got engaged.
I don't even remember getting engaged, now we did. I think I blocked that out.
I was here with the bad boyfriend. Oh yeah, but there is also a picture of oh my god, wait for it, the bird.
The bird.
So here's me, here's the bad boyfriend, here's Shan, and here's Charlie Bird. It was a female, the collectest parrot that they allowed you those days to buy on the street in Lahina and take home with you right like on the plane, like it was fine, like something crazy. What happened to Charlie Bird? Well, the bad boyfriend went on to I was working every day and there are a lot of work. Didn't know, it's like a small child.
And I would come home home and every night when I would get home, I'd be like Charlie Bird and she would have my voice, and she was.
Like Charlie Bird.
And I'd go to the cage and give her kisses. Then i'd go like settle down from the day from set and take her out. This one night I got home and she was really fired up. I learned later that he was a smoker and he would smoke and blow it on her. Oh my, And I didn't know this, so he was like torturing this poor bird.
Did she get cancer? Like what happened with her in Fysima?
Like? No, she got pissed. And so when I walked in.
I walked in and I was like.
I didn't know what had happened that day.
And I was like, hi, Charlie Bird.
And she would always come up to the cage and she gave me a little kisses. She bit me and she bit through my nose. It was like eight stitches, but the nose was like split open, and she was screaming attached to my nose through the cage. And I was like in and I was like, oh my god, what's going to happen? So I was like, you're okay, it's okay, hey, Charlie Bird. So she finally let go and I just remember, what's wet?
Like this is.
I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and I just couldn't. I didn't even know if I had a nose. It was like blood everywhere, which is so ironic because you know, my nose was always my thing. I was always like, oh, I hate my nose, got a nose job, like whatever, and then all of a sudden, bit off my nose. I'm like perfect. So anyway, I called and I was like, oh, I'm bleeding. The bird bit my nose. Remember he used to go casinos all the time with my money. Yes, he was at the
Commerce casino and yeah. He was like I'm playing poker. I can't come get you. You're gonna have to call your parents. And I was like, oh my god, my parents hate him, like they're gonna fault him and be like why isn't your live in boyfriend take you to the er. But cool, I was like, yeah, great, hope you win, babe, because that's my money you're gambling. Anyway, I called my mom and she called a plastic surgeon and we went. I got sewed up, but I have a scar forever.
Did you get rid of Charlie Bird?
So my mom's like, you have to get rid of the bird. I'm like, no, you have to will these birds like they live forever. So do you remember Nick SCILATCHI make up artist. Yeah, he took it because he and his wife had a farm, and he took Charlie.
I feel like that's the story of I don't know if this ever happened to when you were younger, but when you know your dog like somehow mysteriously is no longer around and your parents are like, oh no, like so he was just he needed more space to run. So we you know, he's now in a big farm. I feel like that's Charlie bird where it's like he went to a farm.
Uh. No, Charlie actually went to Nick's house because the cage went there and everything. Do they still have Charlie? I don't know.
I stopped asking because they do live a really long eighty years. Yeah, that bird and they're smart.
Yeah, she knows what she did.
She was pissed. Well, yeah, she probably was like do you know what you have done? Do you know me with this?
And I had no idea, right, So I'm going to jog your memory now, okay, please do So we were in Maui and it was me and you and and you guys got engaged. He took you one day, we did everything together. One day, he took you to the waterfall.
He proposed to you.
You guys came back and you had a beautiful ring. You were super excited. We all celebrated, and then I don't know what happened, but you guys got into a fight about something and he did something horrible as usual, and the next day he went some dude thing. I don't know what would they have done. Who knows. Something that's drinking, probably something we didn't go. And you were
so pissed that you were like, okay. We went down to the store in the hotel and a little boutique, and you were like, what's the most expensive thing in this store? Because his credit card was down for the room for the room, and there was a locked case of like glass animals. When you picked this dolphin, it had uplighting in this shelf and it was this huge time.
I always love dolphins.
It was like twelve inch really dolphin, and it was ginormous and gorgeous and we bought it and it was like thirty five hundred dollars and we went upstairs and they came back. We didn't think they were coming back yet, and he was back, and all I know is I was like, are you okay? And You're like, I'm going to go talk to him, and you went and we were next door, and I was just like cannicked with like the glass against the wall, like she okay, okay,
what's happening, And yeah, you something happened. You proceed to smash that crystal dolphin all over.
That explains why I don't have it.
We didn't come back with it.
We did not come back with it, but we came back with Charlie Bird.
So I'm a hoarder. So I really wanted that dolphin to come back with us.
You know, I think that there are some things that I block out, and that was probably one of them, or maybe it just didn't seem as significant to me
to like keep it stored in my memory. I you know, I listen, I look back at like all of my engagements and except for like one or two, and I'm pretty sure that I mean, I know I said yes all the time, but I think it was very shortly after I said yes that I always regretted it, and sometimes I didn't want to say yes, but I felt really bad saying no to someone when they were down on one knee, so I'd say yes, knowing I was
going to break up with them later. And I think that that was the case in that relationship too, Like I just knew it wasn't going to be you know, my like my person forever. But you know, we had this conversation on the plane also about about men and why you stay in relationships sometimes like you. I've seen you in a bunch.
Yes you have, and all these years later, it's hard for me to think of you, who, in my mind is so strong and can fight anything and go through anything, and such a warrior like even tolerate men treating you a certain way. And I guess that was always part of our bond, right is that was the you know?
I mean, business wise, you're as savvy as they come, and you don't allow yourself to be treated you know, unfairly or anyone around you that you care about, But when it comes to personal relationships, you crumble.
Fair, fair, very fair. I think I've suffered from a fear of being alone so much that I'll get into relationship and I stay for a long time, and then it becomes about being too comfortable, or in some cases like yours, in your marriage, perhaps it becomes more of if somebody tells you that your has been you're washed up, you're ugly, you're this, you're that enough times enough times, and God knows this has happened to me, you start believing it, and then you end up having no confidence
and that fear really takes hold where it's what am I gonna do? I'm going to leave them and I'm I'm all of these awful things that this person is saying that I am. Who's ever going to want to be with me? I think that that always played a part in my life, and I think that it's played a part in yours as well.
I've definitely had that in past relationships. I do have to say Dean never did that part, Like he never He always made me feel like I was beautiful and talented that I really get him.
Dean in Canada when we were doing a reboot.
Yeah, but yeah, you guys got along.
We did get along.
But definitely everything you're saying, you know, in kind of relationships when we're young to fine us. We hang on to them and they stick with us. It's hard to get rid of them. But everything you're saying, you know that, you know constantly he would tell me you're so ugly? How are you? No one's ever going to want to be with you. You can't act, you can't. It was horrible and granted, look at me. I'm like, you know, he's been sober for twenty five years and he's a different
person now. They tell you we talk on DM on Instagram. No, he has a baby. Now that's amazing.
I mean, listen, people, people can grow, they can change, they can evolve. Can they change some people? They can grow some people. Yeah, I don't know about the changing. Attiger doesn't change the stripes, right, That's what my mom has always said to me, And I wish i'd listen now.
They just turned gray eventually.
But I also think cheating, somebody cheating on you can impact the way that you feel about yourself as well.
Yeah. Yeah, and I've I'm trying to think every guy I've been with has cheated on me, except my first husband, who was super nice.
But yeah, right, so you started a pattern at a young age of accepting sort of that behavior.
Maybe, yes, I feel the same way.
Not so much with the cheating. No, I always had a really really hard line in the sand about cheating.
Okay, I understand that, but setting a tone of acceptance.
I think I settled for less than what I deserved often except for like Rob for instance, was awesome, great away friends and interestingly enough like my second husband that everybody probably thinks I should have a problem with. I adore like we're Who's Rick and we're really good friends. He's also fifteen years sober. Yeah, I like him, So
maybe that's what I'm saying. People can change, Like I think that obviously, you know, drugs can bring out the worst any human being, and any addiction, the gambling addiction that Nic had or any of that can really bring out the worst. But I see a huge I mean, I think Rick always had like a heart of gold, and he was you know, never abusive or any of that. He was just you know, into drugs. But I from when I was married to him to what I experienced
now in our friendship with him, he has changed. So I think people can change, but they don't all they can't often change to the degree that you would need them to change.
I understand.
And I think once a cheater, always a cheater. I just think it's a mentality. I think it's like a And maybe I'm wrong, and I'm definitely no expert, but.
I I'm a cheater too then, because that's when Deane and I met. I was married, he was married, so I.
Yeah, right, And yet you don't cheat well PbD, Oh you mean in my eighteen year marriage crowd, But and you didn't in your previous relationships, not that I remember.
No, No, you're right, so you.
Know I think that that was I don't really know.
Well, out of one m clarify the guy lost my virginity to Ryan? Remember him?
M hm?
Oh my god, I've told this story before. Do you remember the Betsy Johnson dress that you wore in our biggest cast photo? Is black floral? And you remember?
Yes? Oh, and my bangs are super short. I hate that photo and it just keeps.
Circulating and it's never going to stop, and it's never gonna stop. Nope, nope. But you guys, I mean we used to share clothes everything, like you know, so do.
You tell me you lost your virginity in my dress? Is that regard.
I know, I'm going to say that you wore the dress I lost my virginity in.
I told you, what do you mean? No, no, no, no, no no.
I literally said, there's a blood stained in the back. Yeah, and you were like.
You were talking about that black dress with the big red roses on it that had it crossed in the back. Who. I loved that dress. It was cleaned though that I just don't think they got that stain out or something.
Yes, bloodstains, but it was yeah, yeah, that's what you said.
Yeah, we were going somewhere and I didn't have a I didn't have anything to wear, so it borrowed that dress. I loved that dress. And then I got one exactly like it, but all black.
Yeah. Yeah, but this takes me back.
But that was like the.
First guy I was with, and he was great, and to be honest, I cheated on him with Brian.
That's how we.
Broke up because I fell head over heels in love with Brian Green and like.
Yeah, okay, this is really interesting. So when you cheated on him with Brian the first time, did you immediately end it with Ryan? I mean, first off, can you confuse yourself more Ryan and Brian.
No, but it's the running theme in my life.
Or did you carry on and on a thing with Brian and eventually cut it off with Ryan?
No, I broke up with Brian.
Yeah, like immediately.
It wasn't immediate like there was here's the thing.
Okay, so I don't dude, this is real talk now, kit, But here's here's the thing.
I always say, like, Brian with a bee was the first love of my life. But I was young and I was caught up in it, and I don't know, do you feel like I was really in love with Brian or it was.
Like No, I think it was like teenage obsession, like infatuation. Yes, okay, that helps me, but also.
Navigate my journey because all I know is going back to then and it's like, okay, I was with this guy, like I didn't lose my virginity till I was over eighteen, like, so it's not like I haphazardly slept with someone like this guy I met, I thought he was the one, and and then all of a sudden, you know, there's Brian and the pilot and he would like make fun of me, and that always like from the beginning, I like, guys, that Brian was always nice to me was like pulling
your pigtails, like giving me. He still gives me the gears, Yes, and I still get riled up.
Of course, it's.
Been thirty years. We're just friends, you know, I love his fiance, like, it's not that, but if he says something to me, I get so flustered and riled up, and it takes me right back to being my like eighteen year old self and being like, oh my.
So I definitely think it was infatuation. I think it was also like the sexiness of the moment, right you're talking about being on a show. All of this stuff is happening. We're young going out having these experiences. You know, Brian's always had like some swagger. And then it was also we all hung out so much that I think you couldn't help but be infatuated and.
Me, Yeah, I couldn't go back to the manor and hook up with him.
So where did I my dohini house?
Always your house?
Sorry, always my house? Yeah. So okay, so interesting because we're talking about now cheating and men and relationships and what that feels like to us.
So what does that make you feel like? As my friend hearing me say, I've never thought about it this way. I've never talked to anyone, and like, no, I can't describe the way I felt or the relationship with Brian, because no one besides you would understand.
I think you were eighteen years old. So when I say a tiger doesn't change it stripes, they may, I have no idea. Maybe maybe men and women who now can I have spots? I hate stripes, spots. A lever doesn't change its spots. But I think that there are certain things you have to give yourself grace on, or you know, your boyfriend at that time when you're eighteen, nineteen,
twenty twenty one, I'm not quite sure. I know that you're not a fully developed human being, as we talked about on my podcast, and you know, you're you're learning your judgment, you're learning sort of what's right and wrong, but you're also caught up in all of these feelings and emotions, and you've got hormone changes happening, and there's.
All of this stuff.
And I don't know if I would say you sleeping with Brian while with Ryan when you're eighteen years old makes you a serial cheater that.
You're gonna say killer for a second. I got so scared already. Killer.
Serial cheaters are people who do it in every relationship, and they don't just cheat on you with one person multiple they do it with multiple where like literally later you could be separated, you could be divorced, could be a month later, it could be ten years later, and you're getting emails and phone calls from girls being like, oh, you know, I was with him at this year and I was with him at that year, and you're like, oh, like, was anything true? So yeah, those people, to me are
people that will never change. Okay, But I don't know. Our audience will probably let us know if I'm giving you too many allowances here because i'm your friend. But I don't think I am. I think I am very clear on the fact that when you're eighteen years old, Sure, would it have been nice for you to say to Ryan, I don't think I can be with you anymore because I have a crush on somebody else. If something happens,
I'm not going to be able to stop it. Sure, but you weren't even fully developed enough to realize that you should have that conversation. Your first relationship losing your virginity and then having what feels like the love of your life right in front of your eyes. That's hard.
I mean I often think about, like, especially like rewatching nine O two and zero now, like what was happening in our personal lives? Did that dictate what happened with the characters? And if you go back, it's like, wait, did they put Donna and David together? Because my dad knew that, like Brian and I and I was like, oh my god, briann't. Like I mean, obviously it took on a life of its own, but yeah, if you really think about it, why would Donna and David initially
have been paired together? It was odd?
Yeah, what happened to your two characters? Like, did you guys get married at the end?
Yep?
Did you really?
Yeah? I invited you, you didn't come. The invitation to Brenda got lost in the mail to the UK somewhere.
That's really interesting. I don't know what happened with anyone.
Yes, And while we were filming the wedding episode, because Brian and I we read the script and by then he and I were like a linked force. We were like, which is funny, Like the two like meek ones in the beginning didn't have a voice, were the youngest ones. By the tenth season, we were like not running it, but we.
You still had the passion for it.
We did. We took pride and we were willing to step up and and jump in where I feel like, you know, a.
Lot of people not it wanted more time off.
Not nine o two one zero, But when you're on a show for a long time, you kind of start getting comfortable phoning it in. Like and Brian and I were always very you know, we were producers at heart. We still are so like we were like no, no, no. So we bonded over that actually, and it was nice to see us come together not just as friends, co stars and love interests on the show, you know, crushes.
I'm always hesitant because Brian sees it different. We've never talked about it, Like when we did BH and O Trow and they were writing it in about Donna and David Tory and Brian. You know, the writers were like, yeah, you know, Brian sees it difference. Like you were like, oh my god, you were so in love with him, and he was like, huh, we were just friends, Like and I was like, Oh, that's a boy and a girl at that's eighteen.
Bullshit.
I've never asked him.
I'm going to call it bullshit on that. Brian knew how you felt about him for sure, like he one hundred percent did. Yeah, But I think I think I would imagine and I haven't actually had this conversation with him, but I would imagine that that is also a very difficult position for him to be in because again, sorry, producer's daughter, right, working together.
I was always a running thing for me, Like guys on a show, like guest stars, you know, they would flirt with you and you'd be like, Oh, they're cute or nice. And we work constantly, you don't meet other people, so you'd be like, oh, are they going to take me out? And that didn't happen because it's like, oh, it's.
Producer's daughter dad show, and not just the producer's daughter but Aaron Spelling correct, like, you know, one of the most important, powerful, influential producers of that time period ever. So I wouldn't have dated you, and yet I did essentially date you by just we were best friends and not caring that your dad would get mad at me that you were getting home super late. But now, for god, I think that's extremely hard.
And how girls like when like we're out when we're young and you get drunk and ad guys are like watching you and so you make out. I think you were my first friend and we ever did that? Yeah, like made out for like guys like, oh look right, yeah, Like we'd be out drinking and they'd be like, oh, look at the two hot girls from rounds now and be like, oh, let's show them something.
Let's show let's let's let's give it.
And then we do and they'd all be like what and then we'd be like, okay, another rounds cool, like nothing ever happened. I was circling back.
To I don't even think there was ever tongue exchange, Like it was like pretty a flascid kiss. But but but no, we made it was good guys would Yeah, it's like the TV kiss Now, you're a good kisser now.
But circling back to Brian and I so like always comes back with Brian. Sorry story in my life anyway. We love you, Sharana, I love Sharna, Oh my god, nothing about that, like yeah, but during the wedding episode, we got our vows and we were like, oh, we know these characters so well at this point and this is very personal. The fans have been on this journey, We've been on this journey. And we ended up rewriting
them and wrote our own vows to each other. And when we went for a rehearsal and the whole big you know, mastershot, we read the script at one so that it was real, and then we on camera read the ones we wrote to each other, so that was all real. But at the end of the filming the wedding episode, I remember turning to Jen at one point and I said, Then she goes, what and I go I think I'm in love with Brian again. And She's like, no, no, not doing this again. It's been ten years. We've come
so far. Not doing this again.
Thank you Ginny for cutting that one off.
Yeah, And I was like, oh, the lines just got so blurred. And then I have never and Brian and I you know how close friend and I are and I tell him everything, like I'll text him and like we're brother and sister and like best and so close that we can have that connection. Like what was this the reason? Maybe the you know your relationship didn't work because of this, and I'm like, no, no, no, And I'm able to talk about things that you know, I wouldn't
be able to with him years ago. Anyway, recently we were talking about my situation and being in love and being crushed and being hurt and moving on and now being single and the next chapter of my life. And he's been so great and such a champion, and you know, at times he gives me such inspiring, you know, words of you can do it professionally and personally. And we made some commentary and I was saying, like, no, I was in love. I don't know, maybe I wasn't in love.
I'm not sure. No one's broken in my heart since you. And there was like pause, pause, and I was like, oh my god, this is the first time ife said this to him in thirty years.