Mis-Placed

and I have all my kids memories. I have everything from like my eighteen year marriage, everything until well, I guess a year ago when we had to like escape the house with mold and everything was put into storage. But anyway, didn't have the money to pay for the units, so they actually what happens is I never knew this

before because I chose not to know it. My brain wouldn't accept the knowledge that if you don't pay, it like goes into lean and then they cut your locks off put their own locks on, then you can't get back into it, and then eventually it goes up for auction. So a very kind human stopped it from going up for auction. Months before last and now, yeah, I have friends helping me to get back into some of the

units right now. So I want to give a special thank you to my friend Amy Sugarman for stepping up. And I don't know, I always say like it it pays off eventually to be a good person, and eventually good people get helped, you know, when they need it. And she's a really amazing human for stepping in, and she paid for two of the units to help me get my stuff out. But here we are. So we got a locksmith to come out here and we're like, okay, we have to do this quick. Didn't anticipate that, and

he said I can be here in twenty months. He was here in twenty minutes. He came up and had to By the time we pulled up, he was back in his car and we're like, hey, what's going on. He's like, oh, I just had the wrong tool. I will be back. I was like, oh, okay, I think all these locks are the same with public storage, if you know, you know. But anyway, my producer Lorraine went down to find him and he was gone, car's gone. We can't find him. So she called the company and

the company said I'm really sorry. He's a great locksmith, but he got sorry sorry, what is the wording? He doesn't work well in crowds. He doesn't work well with a crowd. In front of a crowd, people watching. So uh, there's three of us here, and it's like, wait, they're just like helping me get stuff out and everything. Okay, So I mean, hey, you know, performance anxiety comes in many forms. We know that he got like lock fright. You know us actors get stage fright. He got lock fright. Anyway,

he's gone. So we had all these plans, and when you're in tories world, nothing is easy. You get you get roadblocks, and then you move on. So we're sitting in it's very cold, right, it's very cold. You guys look for their heads up. Last time I was here, there was a cockroach. It was the size of a small dog. Oh I'm not kidding. I was like, good for you that you've kept yourself alive and found some stuff in here, probably from my unit. Who knows there's

probably fucking old food in there. Yeah, so here we are. We plan to do this podcast inside the unit. Were going through. Someone's here, Okay, someone's coming, so hold please Wow.

mine in a mirror here that I love. Yeah, I think this is most of dean stuff. I'm not gonna lie. I'm so sad right now. I just wanted to get like my memorabilia and my kids stuff, and this is nothing that we need.

it wasn't just stuff, even small things. It was a part of it was my story, it was my journey, every little thing. He would say, I put too much emotional attachment on inanimate objects, but I I don't know. It's hard to let go of stuff that you work so hard to create, like I created this life, I really did, and they're all memories. And to just get rid of everything just felt like it was it was. It felt to me like part of me didn't exist. I was just erasing something, and so I couldn't let go.

But now I'm ready to let go of a lot of stuff. Well because I do, because I can't pay for it. But since since Dean and I split, and since my life has changed so radically, it is a whole fresh start, and I do there's a lot of things I want to hold on to. And when I go through this, my best friend justices this with me a lot, and she'll be like, do you need this? Do this? Do you want it? And I was like, no,

I'll keep that. I'll keep that. And then she's like, you don't need it, and I was like, okay, fine, it's left in my own devices. I will keep everything because everything has a place. I'm holding on to my past. I mean, we're finding crap right now in this one. There's four units and there's some things here, but a

lot of it. This sounds so silly, like it's really silly, but it like that mirror back there, like it's probably worth nothing now, but like at the time, it was really expensive and it was from Europe, and it was just I worked really hard and I made my own way and made my own money, and it was a representation of this life I lead that people still in comments, right, oh,

you know, get a job, Like get a job. I have fifty Like I'm fucking struggling, man, Like I have five kids to pay for in LA And a part of me is like, you know, I was raised a certain way and I can't forget that, and it's what I knew, and it's like I don't even know what I would like in it too, But like you are raised a certain way and then all of a sudden, it's like, oh but just as I don't know acclimate, here's your new life and it's very radically different, and

just go for it. So there's some things that are still ingrained in me. You know, I lived in a fifty six thousand square foot house. You guys, it's it's all relative. I understand. I don't want sympathy, but it's like I was taught, or wasn't taught how to function in the real world. You know, that's the reality. And

I'm doing the best I can. It was fight or flight, like I got out there, and then, you know, I went from my parents having this huge life to Nino two ono and I, you know, my dad gave me that life, and I'm grateful, but I created that life beyond that, you know, And it just shows them in your hand at something you just then it's what you

make of it. And I made something big of it, and I went for it, and I created ten years of an amazing character with that show, and then went on to do a lot of hard work and create a lot of things. And I think people don't even I don't want credit. I've never wanted fucking credit. But people don't acknowledge that. And I read in comments all the time people are like, get job, you know, and and people will even write, oh, she's doing a project. Oh did her dad make that? I'm like, my dad

passed away seventeen years ago. No, this project is mine. I created it, I produced it, I'm making it. I want to tell you something that's not going to be shocking. I'm not good with money. I suck with money. I didn't even know how to write a check till I was in my forties. I had never been inside a bank till I was in my forties. I just saw them in movies. I love a good heist film. In my twenties, you know, and I've written about it in my books. You know, I had an endless stream of money.

I worked my butt off for it. You know. I worked, you know, five days a week. We would film seventeen hour days sometimes, but I would spend it as soon as it came in. I would spend it. And I didn't understand. And I remember, like Ian Searing telling me, like, what do you doing? You got to invest, like you need to buy a house. You're making all this money, how come no investment. I didn't understand what it meant.

All my co stars in Nintima were making investments, they were buying properties, they were being smart about it, and I didn't know. And I had no guidance at all. I had no guidance. So I was really good at collecting beanie babies though they're in here somewhere. Yeah, I have like every single one, even slother super rare. So this is the first step. May first we lose all of this again. So I gotta get all of this out of here. Because again I'll just lose it again. So, yeah,

I'm a hoarder. You guys. Hi, my name's Torrian. I'm a hoarder. There I said it real. I always tell people I'm not a hoarder. I'm a collector. You know what was interesting is, for the first time in forever, when we left the house that had mold, we had to go to an Airbnb and it's all clean and it's all beautiful, and I was like, oh my god, I can breathe. And I was like, why can I breathe?

I can breathe because I don't have oh my shit falling on top of me like it's you know, I walk into other people's houses and they're pristine, and I'm just make a joke like, oh, you're a neat freak. Oh I'm like the opposite. I'm messy. But I'm not just messy. I'm cluttered. I'm cluttered. I'd lead a very cluttered life. Hey, they say creatives are often very cluttered and they thrive not just in chaos and clutter. But hey, I can turn over a new leaf because I can't

afford a new locker here. So I would like to change. I would like to start to paar, damn. I would like to clean up my life for my kids because they deserve better. What I got the worst dress list? Do I seem faith? Oh in touch cool Tori spelling slash worst cool. This crop top and low slung pants looks like something she would wear out shopping. Not on a red carpet. Well it was a yellow carpet. But

I mean, okay, so here's what happened. We the current airbnb we are in because we are not in a permanent house since mold, we've gone from airbnb to airbnb, not an RB Airbnb. I said, m A clear, McLear? Uh And and yeah, we don't know how, but somebody like literally put our address out in the press, which you know, everyone's like, oh, what's the big deal? And by the way, not paying fifteen thousand dollars a month, just saying that, I want to make that clear. But whatever

they picked up what that house usually runs for? Lovely house by the way, anyway, love the house. It's great house. But the addresses out there, it's right in the street. Everybody drives by it. There's press sitting on the street. Twenty four to seven. The kids and I have to like literally creep into the car to get somewhere because they followed my kids and I to school and everything,

and it's just it's not ideal. So when the news was breaking of the divorce, I didn't want the kids to have to, on top of everything else, go through news cruise and stuff sitting on the street. So we left the house and when stayed at the Warners Center maryon Woodland Hills, which shout out to them. They've always been amazing when we're going through mole during last summer

we stayed there. Anyway, I had my out there that was amazing and styled and it was going to be such I was going to crush that yellow carpet like I was going to get not just best dressed like I was. I was going to win the night. And it was white. It was symbolic of like new beginnings and rebirth and I was so proud. And anyway, got to the Roosevelt Hotel to do glam and that's where everyone from my heart was staying and getting ready, and walked across the street to the awards and doing glam.

Everything's on point. I should have known something was going to go wrong because in my life when I plan, it doesn't happen. I'm a last minute person and if I don't do it last minute, it's just how I thrive. It never works out. And then I was glammed. I

was already hair on point, makeup on point, yeah. And then all of a sudden, we were like, okay, let's get the outfit out and looked through the bags because we had moved everything from the Marriott that morning, and the only bag that didn't make it was the bag with my outfit and my jewelbery. So the outfit was just gone and I had nothing else. I literally was in sweats, and immediately I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna have to borrow an outfit.

And I looked at my hairstylist, Kim, and I was like your pants. I love your pants and she was like, oh my god, really okay, And I said I'm so sorry, I need to take your pants right now, and she's like, I don't have underwear on and I was like nothing, I haven't seen before. We got to take him off, and then I was like, okay, what top am I putting with this? And literally my daughter Stella was like

anything I have, mom, you can borrow. So it took her like tank top, brawlt off her, put it on myself, put it on the pants, and we had it out the door, and there, folks, you have I guess I guess what one would call worse dress. I call it how to make something work in a pinch. Literally, My producer went next door and Rachel from you know, from Scandabal, she offered an outfit, which I was like, oh my god,

she's a really kind human. So see there's two storre wait so see, there's two sides, three sides, many sides to every story and scandal. There you go. But unfortunately I was like, oh my god, okay, sounds good, and she was like I think I have a pants suit in the car, but then she didn't, So yeah, I was like, okay, anyone, everyone here, we are in my room.

Who's offering me their outfit? And I literally took off my hairstylist kin's pants, my daughter Sella's tank top, put it all on, headed out the door without a moment to even think about it. And I'm not bummed at the outfit. The outfit was super cute? Is it was? It? Red carpet. Well, iheart's yellow carpet worthy. No, but and that's the only thing is I was like, Okay, I know when I step onto this carpet tonight, everyone's gonna be like, oh wait. But there's like a great story

and I always have a fun story. But it wasn't the moment to tell it. But here I am. You know, so it all worked out and tell it on my podcast There It Is, Land It Down.

he could have said it. It wasn't like talking out of school, and he said, you know, all my other clients just let me dress them, and I was like, because I have good taste and I have input, Like that's weird, and you know, I just love fashion. It's something I'm into. It's a big part of my life and my amazing iHeart team. We were all kind of on it together, like picking my outfit and like, this is a new beginning.

We want something very amy kep referencing Jennifer Aniston and I was like, okay, okay, And then literally the day before I was like, I gotta be honest with you. I love Jennifer Aniston with all my heart and soul, but I think her style is plain Jane. I don't want to be vanilla like I like to make a statement. But we compromised, and actually the outfit I fell in love with, and I was not just on board with it. I was like, you know what, my iHeart family. They

made a great call, like it was kind of very me. Well, I'm not going to tell you about it because you're gonna see it. I'm gonna wear it again. We're holding on to that sucker because we have it. But it was white and it was lacy, and it was very Donna Martin meets Tory present day. By the way, I never wear white. I gotta tell you one time in my twenties, I was smoking weed and I got paranoid

and I had white overalls on. And I'll never forget this because there used to be it was called Nancy's, and I think it was like a do you guys remember this. It was in the valley, and it was like everything was like diet it was before, like it was before everyone was like gluten free. It was like one of those gluten free restaurants. But this is like

in literally the late nineties didn't exist. And we went there and my friend and I were like, oh, it's so funny, like let's order one of everything because it's all fat free, like it doesn't matter. And we were super high and I got paranoid and while he was ordering, I was like, Ooh, the room's spinning. Something's happening. And

I went into the bathroom and they had to call him. Uh. He came in and I was on the ground hugging the toilet and I just remember saying, Oh my god, please don't let me die in these white overalls because I'm sure I've dirtied them now, and like that's gonna look terrible. I'm like in like soiled like overalls, I'm on a dirty floor and he was like tea and I was like, hey, I'm gonna die. He's like, You're not gonna die, You're just high. And sure enough, I

was just high. From that moment on, I never wore white again in public, So maybe maybe that's why I somehow self sabotaged it. Clearly, there's more here than meets the eye. I mean literally, you guys fine, I've said it, I'm on record saying it. I'm a order and and I'm going to change though. People don't change right now. I love great expectations the movie That's why I named my son Finn. Gwyneth Paltrow says people don't change