Rose Matafeo

TV show if somebody doesn't show up for work. Alice Sneddon, who co writes the show with Rose, she this is basically like this sort of Zelig figure who they can slot into any scene. And they slotted her into a scene with me in the next season and it was complete. Heaven socided, it's gonna be amazing. Can't wait. Hello, I'm Mini driver and welcome to many questions. I've always loved

Bruce questionnaire. It was originally an eighteenth century parlor game meant to reveal an individual's true nature, but with so many questions, there wasn't really an opportunity to expand on anything. So I took the format of Proof's questionnaire and adapted What I think are seven of the most important questions you could ever ask someone. They are when and where were you happiest? What is the quality you like least

about yourself? What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you most like answered, What person, place, or experience has shaped you the most? What would be your last meal? And can you tell me something in your life that has grown out of a personal disaster. The more people we ask, the more we begin to see what makes us similar and what makes us individual.

I've gathered a group of really remarkable people who I am honored and humbled to have had a chance to engage with. My guest today are many questions. Is actor and writer Rose matter Fair. Rose and I both love George Siegel and both watch a lot of movies. Basically, I'm just trying to have things in common with her

because I think she's clever and brilliant. She and the equally genius Alice Nedden wrote the show star Struck, which is on HBO in the US and BBC three in the UK, and they had the very pleasing idea to cast me in the show as well as a terrible person, which I very much enjoy. It's a really funny show. I feel like Rose and Alice have the kind of voices that rise up and over the traffic jam of

comedy shows that abound on every platform. Rose is just bloody funny and her answer to what question she'd most like answered is unusual. All right, Angel, I'm gonna crack on. Okay, first question, when and where were you happiest? I don't know if many of your other gifts have difficulty like

identifying when they are happy. I feel like happiness is like that thing for me that happens peripherally where it's like, oh oh yeah, and you kind of watch it, kind of passed you by, And I'm the worst living in the moment. That concept doesn't exist for me. It's like every moment is either near future or the just recent past. There is nothing about living in the moment or I'm trying to get away from it. So maybe be stuck in the moment. I want to get away from that.

Let that be the past. This now has got to be the past really fucking fast, really really fast. And then I can dwell on it. I love dwelling. I live on the past. I dwell in the past. It's my house, my home. I'm going to mortgage in it. But there are very rare moments where I am very calm and aware of my surroundings and we're of just being happy and relaxed. I think the last time I happened was it was lockdown. Last year. I came back from London to New Zealand to like watch the world end.

I suppose, you know, figure out what I'm going to do with my life. I don't have like a family home in New Zealand or anything, but my Nan does, and so I live with my Nan when I go back to New Zealand. So I live with her for quite a few months, and it was just me and her, and it was intense. But there was an afternoon where I was like in her backyard and it was like sunny.

She's the best man ever. She was like, I put the hammer cup for your rose, and she made me sit in the hammock and she furnishes me with all this stuff. And then she brought over a radio that was like it was like a crank radio. A crank radio that was a crank radio, which is also a torch. It's an emergency it's an emergency torch. And if in radio, that's the happiest I've been in. So in a hammock with a crank radio, yeah, playing like Seals and Craft, I've got the taste of like a six year old

man when it comes to music. It's that kind of era or like yacht rock, you know, yeah, Kenny Loggin's all that. Michael McDonald, Oh my god, give me some Michael McDonald, Give me some little rubber band or something. You know, I'm honestly the oldest person alive in my body currently. I think it's that feeling very like safe, relaxed. And I don't know if I'm very much an extrovert, but I love, you know, the feeling of having someone in the other room pottering. I love that feeling. I

love that too. I think that goes back to childhood. I really do, the complete safety because it was before we knew that, like there was absolutely nothing they could do to stop the apocalypse if it were to happen. But when you're a child, you think that they could exactly the sound of a radio playing in a different room as well, and like the sound of someone just doing chores or like tinkering away. It's so lovely. No,

I agree, you know, it's so funny. My dad had some depression later in his life, and when I asked him what he did to combat it, he said, well, you know, the first thing I do in the morning is go downstairs and put the radio on and then go back upstairs so I can hear it from upstairs. And it sort of broke my heart, but I I actually do it now, even when I'm not depressed. It's the idea that there is proof of life somewhere in

the house. Totally. I listened to New Zealand Radio in London and I feel immediately just calm because it reminds me of my NaN's house. And when my granddad passed away, her sister was like, keep the radio on. She was just like, put the radio on all the time. It's going to feel like someone's in the house. And she just did. I think it's really interesting like that idea of quite literally tuning into a frequency to go okay, I can sort of be there and it becomes a companion,

it becomes a tether to reality. Totally. It's pure comfort. It's really interesting. I rely on my kitchen radio. Yeah, it's like the thing of like looking at the moon and then someone else looking at the same moon. It's like white people watch television, and why people go to the cinema and why people listen to it's that she had experience. It's not the same if you put a

playlist on. It's like, there's something so specific and weirdly unifying about that, isn't it completely So maybe it's about the creation of community because we're also bleed and isolated. I think, so there's things that make us feel even in our isolation. You're still alone when the radio is on, but you're also not. It's a feeling of going, oh my god, I'm alive at the same time as you.

It always blows my mind sometimes, you know, and I'm like, it's kind of incredible when you look around anyone everyone, You're like, oh my god, we're alive at the same time. What are the odds one of the chances? One are the chances that we are alive at the same time. I love somebody did celebrities and so I like, you know, I always get gutted because there's been so many people in human history and the universe. Is bizarre that you

and I are alive at the same time. It's a very cool, astonishing thing that I don't think people realized. I know you you have. I don't mean this is an insult, but I think that you have quite a lot of stone thoughts, completely sober, like you really like you function at a really stoned level of thinking a lot of the time. That's so true, And it's one of the things I love most about you, because like

you're not smoking weed when we're working and having these conversations. No, no, no, no, But with the backdrop, you know, watching the present moment go by as if it were a bar john a river, whilst listening to Michael McDonald well marveling that you're alive at the same time as all the people on that barge. Like I fucking love you. Oh my god. Don't do drugs, kids, Just be stoned sober, you know, just do a lot of overthinking. Just be a pisces either way, that's exactly it.

Just be a pisces al right, So as a place and then what quality do you like least about yourself? So many I mean, it's hard to narrow it down. I'm a very self critical person and that's something that I think maybe when I was younger, I thought it was a basset and I'm kind of realizing it's not. And it's a slight form of self obsession, even though

everyone is obsessed with themselves. But I've kind of built almost like a career of being self deprecating and I'm getting to the point now and like, God, there might not be a great thing. But I think that's an interesting question and that I really do think that everyone has traits and there is always like equally positive and negative aspects of them. So I think things that I go, oh, gosh, I really don't like that about myself. There's always a flip side of going, well, if I didn't have that,

I wouldn't have the other thing about me. And the thing recently I've realized is that I've got a quick temper. I can get really angry, and not necessarily other people. They don't take it down on other people, but I sound like I'm like in so Wars or something. I've got a lot of angry inside me sometimes and I can't control I can't control my emotions very well. I'm very bad. I think it controlling my emotions. Me and my friend ear where we describe it as living close

to God, Like we're just on the edge. We are on the edge of our emotions. There is no daring it. We are living life outward. Okay, wait, I'm also loving. Hold on, I'm loving that it's taking something like I've got a really bad temper. Yeah, but let's call it being closer to God. I'm a bit of a clep Germania. Okay, let's call that stealing. For Jesus, You've got to put a positive spin on things. You've gotta look on the bright so I life, Come on, many. I couldn't agree

with you more. And I wonder if that is the evolution of the awareness of the things that we don't like about ourselves is by going, well, if I didn't have this short temper or irritation or whatever it is, I wouldn't necessarily have this other thing. I don't think that the things we like, at least about ourselves are necessarily bad. Genuinely think that they're part of the awful quilt that we're shrouded in human existence. Oh my god,

the quote do not quote. You could not have made a more perfect made of for my outlook on life. It involves craft, and it involves like complete cynicism. I mean, controlling emotions is hard, but I think it's it's particularly hard when your your work is about that. It's like it's about harnessing it. It's the currency. Yeah, I think that's what learning the craft of whatever you do is doing able to not go absolutely mean to It's a tight rope walk. I think it's also about figuring out

what the triggers are. I figured out that men with a particular kind of handshake, we're really problematic. To the minute I shook hands to them, I was like my own coach, alright, steady, fill the total dick. You've only just mear him, but I know you're going to hate him. Don't let anything he says bother you just ignore him. And it actually worked. I wish I could do that with everybody, But I just got lucky realizing that men with weird handshakes it's a particular kind of handshake. I

don't know, man instincts. I hate that instincts are often so correct. It's an annoying thing you want to ignore sometimes. Yeah, I think maybe that's something I had about myself is that I do thinks against my bit of chuck. There is a small rose in me. There is a rose in me, and she is so smart and so wide, so clever, has so many principles. She is strong, she's a strong rose, but she is tiny one back somewhere in my hair. Well, you lock her in the bathroom,

don't you. I mean we all do. With the sentient person who lives inside us. We often just lock them in the bathroom and don't let them come out with us. Exactly right, everyone in the car, not you, not you, not you smart Rose. All right, so you're gonna ruin tonight? What question would you most like answered? Oh? My goodness, does everyone always say, like, what happens after you die? Yeah? Pretty much? But it is kind of I don't want to know. I don't want to know. What question do

you most not want answered? I don't want to know what happens when you die? Jesus, I don't. I mean, I'm petrified of death. It's awful. I don't want it to happen. Death is unacceptable. It is an unacceptable premise because it's accepting the absence of something. You cannot accept the absence of an experience. Do you know what I mean? I can accept it's going to rain. Oh, I have to accept the fact that I will not have the capabilities to accept anything more like a freaking paradox, Like,

what are you talking about? I think it would be worse to be told because I just don't think anything happens. I think maybe something happens with the energy and your body because I was raised by mappies. You know that goes somewhere, but you're not like, you know, able to do anything with it. It's just it's probably like the end of two thousand and one space hodesty or something. But if I knew what happened after death, I would be such a ship human now and be like, oh,

fuck it, Oh I can kick it? And here? Oh what am I trying to be a good person? Here? God? Fun now whatever? I'm trying to think of things I genuinely want to know. I would like to know where eels come from. Do you know about eels? Tell me? I mean, look, I didn't I read a headline. I didn't read the whole article, but I've read something. The rumor has it eels no one knows where they go. They don't know where they come from. They don't know who they read? What do you mean? What do you mean? Many?

They don't don't know where the frick these eels are going. Okay, I'm googling this ship right now. Where do eels? It's literally no one knows. Okay, hold on, check it out. Honestly, um, listen, the new scientists, you're absolutely right. How are baby eels made? We still don't know. So let me ask you this. You don't want to know what happens with death because you don't want desk to happen. And you're annoyed by that that you're not annoyed by eels. You would like

to know where they come from. So are you quite conditional about the magic that you want an answer for? Yeah? Basically, you know what? And even in saying that I want to know where eels come from, I don't. Honestly, you know what. If you've got a secret to keep, they're keeping it for a reason, like we don't need to know everything. Look, there must be some mystery left from this world. Embrace the unknown for God's sake. I wish I knew what I should not want to know? Do

you know what I mean? Yeah? And just example, change, just go on, I mean, which must have been basically everybody in the dark ages. It's like, oh my god, yeah, what is that white light in the sky. I'll never know what that thing at night is, the big round silver thing, bizarre, don't need to know. It's on a need to know basis, And honey, you are not on the list. You are not on the list. But now, yeah, I think that knowing what happens after you die, it

just it sucks. It sucks. I don't know that it would make now any better, that's see anything. I don't think it wor was. I don't think it would change because we can't stop. I'd rather know how to stop the dying thing. Oh god, that'd be brilliant. I would even take knowing how to stop worrying about the dying thing. Oh that's good, because to worry about something that is not in your control is irrational. And that's the worst thing about being human and being capable of understanding your

own death. We've been cursed with the ability to know that we will one day die, and it's like it can be a kind of galvanizing you know, energy of Well, I was going to say I would be extremely unmotivated if I didn't worry about death so much. That's true, that's so frea control. Actually, you know what, that's a really good point. Death the great motivating mentorm All right, get off your as bed exactly. Okay, slightly more in the here and now, but also to do with death,

what would be your last meal? Thank you so much for asking. Yes, so welcome. I think about this often because mainly I got really obsist with the last meals of serial killers on death row for a while. You know, my son was also very interested in that. It's usually

fried chicken. Like if I were on family feuds, that would be number one that I would make everybody say, always frey chicken, or like I think often the default meal, well, if you don't ask, or something is like a row speak dinner or something I think Ted Bundy like didn't eaters or something like that. I don't know, Like I need to stop reading about this kind of stuff. One guy just chose one single P. That's where I mean, that's the most annoying. How can you be annoying all

the way up? I think you can one P to wait, do you then compare what you would like to these serial killers and what they like and try and find. Well, I use it as a basis. Yeah, I'm like, well, you know, if I was really because I think you could go with something you know, sentimental or something you

know my nan made. But honestly, Bartomy is like I want pizza heart, but the way they did it in the nineties where they like essentially fried the crusts and oil, which was basically boarderline illegal, And I want to meet love those pizza at one point five bottle of pepsi and some chocolate moss because I think by the end of eating that I would want to die, but be ready. I don't want to eat like a light meal. I don't need sushimi. I don't need to light meal before

I die. Get me to the point where I'm like, you know what it would you all forded sort of pass on to the next stage after this, You'd be quite surprised how many people are like, you know, if I knew it was my last meal, I would barely be able to eat. And it's like, well, well, also, what if you didn't know that it was your last meal?

Exactly if heaven existed and when you die and you look back on the you know, sort of highlights really your last day, and you see that you had like a pritty sandwich or something, You're like, but no, why did I eat that? May be so gutted. In fact, that's why I hate eating those yogurts that are like, you know, a billion acidophilus whatever it is, because it makes me, first of all, it makes me feel like

there's a billion creatures in my cart. But also I would hate the irony of doing something for my health right before I die, because then it would just be another lyric in Alanis Morissette song It's as a list right before you die. I mean, it's the whole thing of wearing a good pair of knickers because you might

get hit or something, and you tracking. I had a stand up joke and years ago from a very genuine fair and something that actually happened to me being on a plane and really specifically deciding what film that you're watching because somebody scared of flying. I don't want that plane to go down and I die, and my mom's like, what was the last thing she was watching? And then

it would just be like Despicable me too. It's like, you don't want to you don't want that that to be the final one, you know, you want to watch something pointed and happened. I went. I was on a flight to Japan ones and a plane like experienced engine failure and I was like, holy sh it. I was alone. I was like, well, this could be it. But I

didn't have any song saved my phone or anything. So as we were landing and as I was like really aware of the fact that this might be the last thing that I might experience on this as well, the song I picked to potentially die too was Pig by Steely Dan. Like what and like what? But you know what I stick by it, Like to Bob, it's a Bob. Oh my god, that is fantastic. Pig Yeah, Pig, just

those harmonies and just going down. But that's a sly one because they arguably that is a great song, even though there's just so much reference to kind of underage women and drugs and Stevie Dan. I just have you know the Queveld Gold funk God love. Do you know how hard it is to be a twenty nine year old woman living in one and all of my favorite films being made like the sixties and seventies. I've got the most problematic sort of list of texts that are

my favorite others. But also we've established that you're a six year old man in a twenty nine year old body with a bunch of other personalities locked in the bathroom. Okay, so what relationship, real or fictionalized defined love fear? I mean, I I love love. It's like an interest of mine. You know, I'm not successful in it, but I love the concept of it and others having it one that

I can really think of, which is so silly. When I was younger, I used to have like a celebrity hight chart because I was quite tall and I felt really insecure about how tall I was. So I decided to make a chart in my school diary of all my favorite celebrities, how tall they were, in how many's intermedis tight difference they had to me. And being now

in the business of show business. Sometimes I do meet people who were probably on that chart and I tell them about it, and they always take it not crazy well, and you know, I kind of mentioned their ship. I always got abs with couples where the woman was taller than the man, like Nicole Kipman and Tom Cruise were exactly one of my favorite ones and Bancroft in mel Brooks. Yeah,

Oh my gosh. Then I just started going down this rabbit whole recently of interviews with them both and when they would work together and how they met, and they just they have like this this crazy love. I mean, I love actors and I love film, and I love the whole kind of weird I don't know universe of

sometimes when they date and marry each other. But it's so nice when you see like two very talented people and you're like, oh my god, and you guys totally get on and you love each other and you're obsessed with each other and you make each other laugh. And yeah, I just I really love their relationship and that the fact that she's so much sure than you know, I agree, And I think it's because you see that they loved each other so much that walked in the room before

anything else totally. And also because he's so confident and great and so not insecure and so not like quite a lot of other short actors whom I've worked with. Well, it's a thing, isn't it. We've come so far. I live in such a progressive world compared to my mom and my grandmother and all other generations, and you go it is still it's made of dates on shure and

it's absolutely bizarre. It's so weird. And also, let me tell you, I don't know if this has happened to you yet as an actor, but I've had more ditches doug for me then I've had men put on boxes, Oh my god. And it's kind of like, well, can we do rock paper scissors for like, who either goes on the box or goes on the fucking ditch, because frankly, it doesn't feel equable, and you're still shorter than me exactly, someone's putting on heels here. But I've found it's so

not actors or men being short. It's the overcompensation for what it is they think they're missing. Whereas in the same way that mel brooks he was just happy in himself and just with his super heart, amazing, beautiful, talented,

clever wife, there wasn't anything to compensate for, exactly. And I think also particularly in you know, hetero sexual relationships, seeing absolute comfort and the other person's amazing nous with no hint of jel, I see your or competitiveness of just being like stoked to be with someone just incredible, and it's like, that's really hard to find, I think, particularly for women, you know, like women who just are fucking awesome and shine in the world. I mean, maybe

I'm being a bit too better. I think there are many wonderful couples out there, but I do find it heartbreaking when really great women can't find cool people. It's all for I know. I just got a text message from someone today, can can you find me a boyfriend? And it was just like, she's so amazing. I was like, what my what, what's going on? What is going on?

And then also the other awful side of that was I was then thinking about men that I knew, and oddly the way that they've been dealing with their single nous is to not kind of do any self excavation, but rather to just shag a lot of women. And they're not people that I would want to set my mate up with anyway, because they just I was like,

there's no one I know who's worthy. And she's like, are you talking about X, Y and Z. And I was like yes, and she was like they're great and I was like, well, I thought so until I saw how they behave with the women that they're sleeping with. Yeah, do you know how much self respect as a cock block? It's so horrible. It's like it's so difficult. I'm single. I've been single for quite a few years intermittently. And

the older I gets. So it's like when I say the older I get, I'm like, nearly, you know, I'm turning thirty. Next years, I'm like, I've no nothing. I go, and you know, in ten years, I'll look back at myself, go, what the hell was I thinking? But it's so funny, Like if I was my early twenties, there are situations I've been I'd totally act differently. But now I'm like, you're better than this, right, you aren't better than this, which means you will not have sex right now. You

need to accept that. You know you're better than this, but you are not going to have sex, and you're going to own that. You've gotta live with that, Okay, all right. I feel like you've got quite a few different people who keep locked in the bathroom. I mean, it's a party, it's an on suite, and they just let them out, to let them out to brate you, and then shove them back into that you can go up by yourself and make terrible decision. I mean, that's

like them. You're only twenty nine. I mean, seriously, this is the fun bit. And this sounds so patronizing, you saying that like having self respect is a cock block. That's awesome. That is so awesome. And I'm telling you there is some dude who is going to think that is absolutely brilliant. And you know what, he might be listening right now. My god, can you believe that? And how did you meet? Well? This podcast and I just

felt it and I just needed to find it. The twist is that I was the one who taxted you asking for a boyfriend. Oh God Christ. The second season of star Struck that I'm very happy to be part of, comes out in February. Mini Questions is hosted and written by Me Mini Driver, Supervising producer Aaron Kaufman, Producer Morgan Lavoy, Research assistant Marissa Brown. Original music Sorry Baby by Minni Driver, Additional music by Aaron Kaufman. Executive produced by Me Minni Driver.

Special thanks to Jim Nikolay, Will Pearson, Addison, No Day, Lisa Castella, and Annicke Oppenheim At w kPr de La Pescador, Kate Driver and Jason Weinberg, and for constantly solicited tech support Henry Driver,