This week: agents of the Matrix rise up to combat a young woman complaining about working in an office 40hrs a week Also, we discover that most homeless women are actually nepo babies who deserve to be sprayed with cold water And finally, Pink Floyd goes woke with a design featuring the gay colors Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a...
Jan 23, 2023•1 hr 20 min
This week Alex fixes the problematic Cheeseburger song with a rendition of his own We also chat about bad(?) edgy 90s holiday movies with "quirky" (annoying) characters including a manic, voyeuristic gay brother played by Robert Downey Jr. This leads us down a rabbit hole as we track RDJ's christmas movie career to Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and the sultry mom-rock song he sings(???) during the end credits. We've got a making-of RDJ's post-recovery album filled with all the amazing pronunciations you c...
Jan 20, 2023•1 hr 27 min
This week the Blocked Party boys help us send off the late Diamond of Diamond & Silk by reading from the fans who think she must've died of the vaccine. Also: playing fortnight without the annoying forts; New-Age Stores and other weird stores; and 90s school yearbooks: the original Tik Tok Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a wee...
Jan 19, 2023•7 min
Happy M&M meltdown January, the annual tradition where we rend our garments and rip the hair from our heads over woke m&m's. This year, there's too many women on the package. Also: the right wing spins itself into a frenzy, first pretending that Joe Biden is going to ban gas stoves, then pretending to defy such a ban by coming increasingly close to burning their houses down. Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly ...
Jan 16, 2023•1 hr 22 min
This week we cover the attempted right-wing coup in Brazil, the hilarious fallout, and the thick miasma of cope emanating out of conservative spaces across the internet. Also: we measure the shape and density of part-timer workers' skulls to answer the question: are they bad? Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week. Also get access ...
Jan 12, 2023•5 min
This week we're mourning another symbol of traditional masculine heterosexuality, The Wiggles, who have apparently agreed to collaborate with famed gay satanist Lil Nas X Also: Right Wing Media find creative ways to report Avatar: The Way of Water beating Top Gun: Maverick's total at the box office in just one month. Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's T...
Jan 09, 2023•1 hr 17 min
Today: the Taliban calls for Andrew Tate's release, citing his opposition to demonic force of feminism and a new trend is sweeping the nation: calling the police on dollar bills. An elderly facebook couple has all the info and finally! A facebook pastor with common-sense sermons about jeans and movie's Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episod...
Jan 05, 2023•3 min
Today we cover the recent Andrew Tate saga: a man who got so mad at Greta Thunberg he posted a two-minute video on twitter about how he wasnt owned and then immediately got arrested for sex trafficking. He claims that agents of "The Matrix" were sent to silence him, but we look at his self-help dating university(?) where he brags about doing stuff that sounds a lot like sex trafficking. We enter a Facebook group of fans accusing Greta of doxxing him and dissecting the hand signals in his arrest ...
Jan 03, 2023•1 hr 23 min
This week, Disney exchanges the Song of the South references in Splash Mountain for a scene with their only Black Princess, a right wing tik tokfluencer does a snarky clapback, and we come up with some of our own replacement ideas Also, LIFE has been CANCELLED thanks to a woke update on the classic board game. A facebook mom has all the details. Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also availab...
Dec 30, 2022•6 min
As a Christmas treat, we have unlocked our 2019 account of this bizarre holiday movie. This week we review Believe, a film about business owner Matthew Peyton who gets assaulted and left for dead when he can't afford to single-handedly finance the town's annual Christmas Pageant He solves his and the town's economic problems when he realizes he can replace his union workforce with unpaid homeless people in exchange for sheltering them from the winter storm. None of this is hyperbole. Support the...
Dec 26, 2022•1 hr 53 min
Today we cover new The Santa Clauses streaming show, where Tim Allen claims he has restored Christ to Christmas, and that "Saying 'Merry Christmas to all' has somehow become problematic." Also, we sign up for Mammoth Nation, the new "conservative competitor to Amazon" and their Christmas commercial featuring groomers fanta Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). Al...
Dec 23, 2022•7 min
It's a heaping helping of shameful joy today as the big announcement Trump teased to his supporters is revealed: Digital Trump Trading Cards in the form of NFTs. While many supporters expected him to release documents on the deep state, announce a candidacy for House Speaker, announce a presidential running mate, anything of even moderate interest, they were left with second-hand embarassment as their leader hawked digital trading cards featuring Trump riding a jet pack, Trump dressed as a cowbo...
Dec 19, 2022•1 hr 12 min
It's a jam-packed episode of DEATH CHAT 500 this week. Two work stories from Alex: a Supervisor shares his L's and a slavery-themed coffee shop won't give Alex a discount. Tony accidentally buys expensive demonic crocs Small Soldiers is secretly kind of an anti-military, anti-corporate, animation and rap music masterpiece? A bootleg theragun changes Alex's life Weed chat with Tony An angry cop butt rock band from Seattle and the powerful project Chester Bennington was working on before his death...
Dec 17, 2022•7 min
This week we field an interesting theological question: Is God sexist against men for making them far more rational and therefore less capable of faith than women? Also, Elon Musk and Dave Chapelle get booed for 5 minutes straight, which is a really good bit to be fair And the right wing reacts to the passing of the Respect for Marriage Act, both laughing at progressives for how relatively toothless the bill is, and breathlessly ranting about the doom it spells for society. Support the show for ...
Dec 16, 2022•7 min
It's a jam-packed episode this week as Amazon cancels its "tip your driver" program after only one day, and the company's possible movites for muddying the search terms "Amazon" and "tips" Also: an MDC exclusive interview with the artist behind the Totally Real demonic Starbucks Cup circulating on boomer internet. WE ARE HOLDING HIM TO ACCOUNT. Finally: There's gender cops in England, and they're getting extremely mad at the real cops for accepting a portrait done by a 14 year-old furry artist. ...
Dec 12, 2022•1 hr 28 min
This week Tony almost catches a charge at Costco, and we read one of the most embarrassing instances of Elon dickriding I've ever seen. Also, the heiress to a pharmaceutical fortune unlearns the wokeness foisted upon her by her liberal college with the help of a $300/day cult deprogrammer and a few Prager U videos. Finally, grandparents everywhere lose their mind as GenZ does edgy santa-atheism on TikTok. A lone alpha has the testicular fortitude to set things straight. Help us do the show for o...
Dec 09, 2022•7 min
This week we follow up with the Facebook cop who argued with Ben Shapiro that San Francisco PD should get killer robots--turns out he's a bit of a drama queen! Then we turn to the Kanye West saga and the right wing media who is struggling but still managing to defend him FInally, we address the historic move by Biden and congressional Democrats to force an unpopular contract on union railworkers and pre-emptively break their strike. Help us do the show and get a bonus episode of Minion Death Cul...
Dec 05, 2022•1 hr 22 min
Audio from DEATH CHAT 500 live last saturday: -The origin of the way Tony says "pummel" -New deranged conservative cartoonist just dropped, and we go through his instagram -Questions about wine and music from listeners -And Washington Post commenters are so confused by the Dril interview that they turn into Dril Join us LIVE this saturday at 5pm PST via http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult where we will be possibly chatting about: an Amazon commercial with an actor that everyone says looks like Al...
Dec 02, 2022•4 min
As a punishment for new Patrons we're watching Jeff Dunham's new mind-altering special: Me the People Jeff takes on Cancel Culture, the Joe Biden puppet talks about Hunter's prostitutes, a brand new millennial puppet delights the audience with jokes about participation trophies, and yes, José the Jalapeño gets trafficked to Martha's Vineyard Help us do the show for only $5/month ($3.11/month if you sign up before I wake up on Thursday) and get a bonus episode of Minion Death Cult every week as w...
Dec 01, 2022•5 min
This week Police in San Francisco draft a proposal authorizing them to use their 17 robots (???) as a lethal force. Conservative readers are torn between their hatred of San Francisco and their passing knowledge of any dystopian science fiction ever written. Also, a work story involving the police, killing criminals to get traffic moving, and Alex gets owned by a cop. This is THE LAST WEEK to sign up for our patreon for only $3.11/month. Starting in December, a subscription for new patrons will ...
Nov 28, 2022•1 hr 24 min
Today we talk about how I caused a car accident at work and also how it's absolutely not my fault Plus, a Harley Biker takes on both a lion AND a fake news journalist. Which is the more dangerous foe? Unfortunately we also have to talk about the estimated 6,500 migrant workers killed during the construction of the world cup stadiums in Qatar, but we soften our criticisms when we learn they might be neo-colonial in nature. Finally, a TikToker absolutely roasts their dead billionaire father at his...
Nov 24, 2022•4 min
This week we explore the Modern Day Knight project, a fake Navy Seals hell week designed to separate rich losers from $15k and torture them in the process. The "training" regimen consists of 75 hours of grueling physical exertion, waterboarding, verbal abuse, and digging your own grave to be buried alive--all to avoid joining the actual military. We have written, audio, and photographic documentation of candidates' experiences that you don't want to miss Support the show for only $3.11/month to ...
Nov 21, 2022•1 hr 21 min
An XL preview of the Death Chat 500 livestream from 11/12: Nu-metal horror films, underrated Black sitcoms, and extremely real and incredibly paranormal police stories Tune in live this Saturday at 5pm PST and we'll do it all again http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult
Nov 18, 2022•23 min
This week a conservative Law School student calls the newspaper asking them to run a story with HIV in the headline next to a photo of her face. And we examine a facebook group devoted to debunking progressive christianity one meme at a time Help us do the show for only $3.11/month and get a bonus episode every week, instant access to hundreds of previous bonus episodes, and a weekly livestream for Patrons only. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult...
Nov 17, 2022•5 min
This week we start with some encouraging poetry for our big, brave boys in charge: Donald Trump and Elon Musk Then, we spend the majority of the episode piercing the thinly-veiled right wing satire on an "intersectional feminine culture" website called IQfy, with articles such as "Are DMT entities racist?," and "He beat up my BF & I can't stop masturbating to it." After reading these and a couple more pieces whose titles I'd rather not type out, let's just say this site gets pretty weird. Th...
Nov 14, 2022•1 hr 22 min
This episode we're covering the elections because we're data wonks now, and here are some key takeaways from this episode: Ranked choice voting is unconstitutional because it gives each person more than one vote, Trump didn't back the big guy in Pennsylvania and is crying and screaming and pissing his pants a little about it, Babies are out... big time. The baby annihilator demographic turned out strong this cycle--how will this affect Michigan's ability to enter the kingdom of heaven? Also: "un...
Nov 10, 2022•4 min
This week we're doing hard news coverage as Trump drops a new insulting nickname for a popular GOP rival. Does it hit? And the right wing settles on a reality they like concerning the Pelosi home invasion: the 83 year-old was doing Pain Olympics with his gay lover. Finally, we provide you with the official record of how right-wing boomers feel about self-checkout. The answer may surprise you. Help us do the show for only $3.11/month and get a bonus episode every week as well as instant access to...
Nov 08, 2022•1 hr 33 min
This week we go trick or treating at the homes of some familiar personalities. Will we make it out alive? Yes. We're also talking Elon Musk's ingenious plans for twitter, his satanic halloween costume, and how these very important topics are resonating with the right wing on facebook and twitter alike. Help us do the show for only $3.11/month and get a bonus episode every week as well as instant access to hundreds of bonus episodes right in your podcast app or browser. Sign up at http://patreon....
Nov 03, 2022•6 min
This week we watch To Die For, the astonishing new film from the wildly reactionary mind of Duke's of Hazzard's John Schneider. A green-screen, anti-teen fever dream, the movie chronicles Quint North (John Schneider), a veteran of some war, who is intent on triggering the local high school quarterback after he takes a knee during the national anthem. Quint's Native American neighbor, Wes, is the avenue for our main character to reel off Gran Torino style racial slurs at a flag-hating libtard, bu...
Oct 27, 2022•7 min
This week we hear about a movie about a man with enough guts to violate a high school restraining order--as many times as it takes to prove his love for the American flag Also, a woman releases a swarm of bees on sheriff's deputies when they try to evict one of her neighbors. We are "beeyond" horrified. Finally, we meet a conservative cartoonist whose facebook-boomer sense of humor becomes something far more powerful when he takes up the written word. Help us do the show for only $3.11/month and...
Oct 24, 2022•1 hr 22 min
