Unveiling the Self Beyond Shadows

Do not get me wrong . Yeah , every episode this year has pulled me into some deep reflective spaces and , to be honest , it has helped me solidify my why . And if there's one thing I've learned on this journey , it's that people often lose their way because they've lost their why .

I've always known this , but it was said more succinctly by Travis Elliott while I was practicing yoga the other day on YouTube and it hit me straight in the face . And even in the middle of all the craziness this year has brought me just me . There's been a lot of craziness . I can see that my why is getting stronger . And well , here we are .

The first episode of the year , of course , was a conversation with Junior JOME Papati , who wrote the foreword to Living Mind mindfully a journey to being . That's my book if you've not read it .

Then there was a conversation with the young god himself , rodney , and he brought his a game and telling us how to or well , maybe not telling us or guiding us through living mindfully , and leaving so mentally whole . That conversation was totally , totally beautiful .

Then there was a conversation with um , uh , io , daniels , uh , living beyond romance , timely , timely choices for marriage . And just recently , that's last week , we ended the conversation I started two weeks ago with Bisolu , my younger brother , unraveling stories of origin in a deeply , deeply , deeply therapeutic way , deeply therapeutic way .

So before we dive into more conversations to help align our thoughts , emotions and actions , let me give a , let me take a quick data , because if there's one question I've been inviting you to ask yourself this year , it is who are you becoming ? And if you listened to the last episode of 2024 here , it was the question I left with .

And this year that question has become quite personal for me and I have come to a place where every single phase , every single challenge was triumph . I ask myself that question and this year , for me , I call it the year of alchemy . I'll tell you why in a moment .

It's a year transformation of turning life's experiences into good , as if I've not been living that way all my life , but in a way it's also been a year of questioning . Like I said , the end of the year was particularly interesting .

You see , imposter syndrome is my biggest ally , or has been my biggest ally , if you don't suffer from it or you don't experience it , yeah , yeah , but I've often thought , in giving where I come from , that people don't really understand or truly understand who I've been or what I have now become , or who I have now become .

And let me tell you , by chance , the community I belong to , a podcast community , the young god we call ourselves a god gang . We were talking towards the end of the year and then , by chance , someone in the community mentioned that they were starting the new year with reading the Alchemist .

And if you've followed me long enough , you know , you know I am a late bloomer . In fact , I have an episode about blooming late . Yes , I'll link that in the description . I've owned the book . I have both the audio and like two hard copies , but I never read it . I tried to listen once , but it just didn't stick . I didn't understand it .

And now I know why it wasn't time , and now I know why it wasn't time . But on December 29th I picked it up and this time something clicked . If I had to give the book another title , I , oluwadze Mishie , will call it the Anatomy of Imposter Syndrome , because , hey , that's what I think it is .

This journey , we are all on a journey of questioning , of doubting , of becoming , and one of the lessons that stood out for me when was when king of Salem in the book told the boy that he is the protagonist of the book learn to recognize omens and follow them . And that's when it hit me , it made me ask myself Tumishi , how do you recognize your omens ?

The answer came to me so clearly Live mindfully . And that's my why , and that's the what and the why of this podcast . And as I sat with every single guest this season , I was looking for those omens in our conversations , the signs , the lessons , the moments that would remind me and hopefully remind you of who you are becoming .

I am not the things my family did . I am not the voices in my head . I am not the pieces of the brokenness inside . I am light . This reflection naturally led me to something Iodaniel said on the episode that he was with me .

When we're talking about his book Beyond Romance Making Timeless Choices in Marriage , he reminds us that families don't just fall apart overnight . They unravel over time , through the choices we make , the wounds we ignore , the conversations that we avoid .

And again , following the omen , as this year has been for me , it led me to that conversation and it was the backdrop to the conversation with my brother Bisolu . We talked about how a family well endured some form of misalignment at some time , at some point in the family history .

He reflected on how my absence from home at some points in my early year , early teenage , late teenagers and young adults shifted our family's balance in ways I hadn't even realized , how , for so long , we handled conflict with anger rather than conversations , and how , over time , we learned something different . You're wondering where I'm going with this .

Of course I'm going to a term I just found out myself also and that conversation made me go research that how family disintegration happens , not always with big , dramatic fights or people packing their bags and asking for separations and divorces . And all of that even in your relationships , like everyday relationships , um platonic relationships .

Sometimes it's subtle the slow unraveling of trust , the small fractures that turn into drip , dip , dip cracks . And , like the Yoruba adage says , if the wall hasn't cracked , a lizard wouldn't be able to get in , and then the silence where there used to be laughter .

At this point , if you're just hearing a term , like me , family disintegration let me define it simply . It is the breakdown of family structure , relationships or roles , leading to dysfunction , estrangement or even separation . But just like families can fall apart , they can also heal , if we choose it .

Don't worry , I don't intend to keep you for too long on the episode today . I really want a short , sharp , sweet so that you can get into the light with your life , or listen to the recommended episodes , yeah , or just sit down and um reflect on what I'm talking about .

Family disintegration happens everywhere , and we are in a community or in a society where , um silence is over issues , over pain , over questions , and I'm sure you want , all of you have experienced the fact that you're they ask , you're you're asking a question as a child and you're like you talk too much , you ask too much questions , and then that began to

change your voice , if not silenced , completely , right . So , um , here's my invitation to you is simple . My invitation to you today is to take a moment . Take a moment , sit with yourself , ask the hard questions , ask the hard questions . What cycles am I repeating . What patterns am I breaking ?

What choices am I making today that will shape the family I want to build or the family I'm building , the love and the community I want to be part of tomorrow ? Again , who are you becoming ?

That is the central question around every single episode on mindful to michi since the beginning of the year , and indeed through the whole seven to five episodes yes , this is the seven to six , yay .

Through all of that , every single seven to five episode has been pointing towards answering the question who we are becoming , who you are becoming , how you think , how you connect with the emotions , how you connect with the world , how you treat your money , every single thing around that and more right .

So , at the end of the day , we don't just inherit families , we build them . It's a conscious effort and just like we can rewrite our personal stories , we can rewrite the stories of our families too . We can choose conversation over silence or , like my family , we could choose . You can choose conversations over anger . We can choose healing over bitterness .

We can choose to show up differently , no matter how deep the pain , no matter how heartbreaking the stories of origin . You listening today can choose to show up differently for yourself , for the people that you love , for the community that you are in , for that workplace , for organizations that you have to be in and connect to . You can choose to do different .

You can choose that the thoughts that come up in your head , the emotions that come up for you when those thoughts come up , you can seek to ask yourself if these thoughts and emotions align with the actions that you're about to project . Do they serve your values ? Do they serve you ?

Do they serve the picture of the person that you believe that you are and can be ? And if you need a guide , of course I highly recommend for those who are just starting on relationships and all of that , I highly recommend Beyond Romance , because every timeless choice we make today becomes the foundation for tomorrow .

Of course , beyond Romance was written by Aya Daniels the link will be in the description and for personal growth . Of course , there are a lot of books . I don't know why I said there is all the time , but there are a lot of books that you can read .

I would recommend of , of course , because I'm biased to read living mindfully , a journey to being , and you will hear what I curated there , or you would read what I curated there and hopefully stop , breathe , notice , reflect , respond and resolve will be able to help you navigate the thought in your head , the emotions in your heart , and see that they align with

your actions and the vision you have for yourself . And , of course , of course , I will implore you , or implore you , to read the Alchemist . I would implore you to read the Alchemist .

I would implore you to read the Alchemist , of course , a book that , when the time is right , if the time is right for you now , might just reveal an omen that is signed O2 for you . Right ? Are we game on that Deal ? Okay , as always , a lot to hear from you . All right , what resonated with you on this episode ?

What's your own story , the story of your family , the healing story or your becoming story ? Send me a message it's in the link and , of course , follow Mindfully with Tumishe all over social media or my personal account . You can also follow Tumishe Okuku , right ? Um ?

So let's share this episode with someone who you think needs to hear it and let's keep having these conversations , first with self , and then we'll be able to stop , breathe no tears , reflect , resolve and move on . All right , okay , all right , is that okay ? Thank you very much for sticking with me . We'll get back to conversations next week .

Trust me me , we'll get back . There are a lot to cover and the way we're going to with Mind , routine Meshethas here . God help me . So until next time , stay mindful , stay intentional and remember you have the power to rewrite your story , your family's story , for the better of you . Love yourself , love your neighbor , love your country . Above all , love God .

He is the essence of your being . Until next time . I am Uluwatsumishi Ola Dakpo . So let it be . Let it go . You'll stay right here . Let it go , you'll stay right here . Let it go . You'll stay right here . Let it go . You'll stay right here . Thank you .