¶ Generational Shaming and Gen Z Perspective
Mindfully with Tommie Sheikh . The podcast is back .
I am so , so grateful for all that has happened in this war almost 30 episodes and the people who have had conversations with and remember that I said earlier in the year that I wanted to explore this concept of generational shaming and Ola and I , about two weeks ago , started this conversation and of course , you know Ola , my as far as I'm concerned ,
co-presenter on the show . Ola was here and we started such a beautiful , I believe , conversation that ranged around uniqueness , that ranged that talked about how we could bridge generations with authenticity , with wisdom from both , understanding , transcending the boundaries of age .
And you know how we can also what's the word I'm looking for now how we can engender conversations between generations . I did promise then also that I was going to get people into the studio , that we're going to have conversations with Gen X , gen F , gen , alpha Gen , everything . We're going to be having these conversations .
Of course , I'm not promising that it's going to be back to back , but as I have these people come into the studio , we would have these conversations . I am Uluwatu Mishie Ola Daqwa Kuku and the author of Living Mindfully A Journey to being in .
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So , on the conversation of generational shaming , while I hate to say this , but for the purpose of this conversation , I have a Gen Z in the house , a little bit collared by faith , a little bit collared by culture , a little bit collared by community access and all of that . Yet we will have this conversation .
Guys , hear from him how this generational labeling affects , or not , how they navigate the world . Welcome with me to the studio . How are you today ? I'm good . You cannot say I'm good so mindfully , when I ask how are you , your answer cannot be I'm okay , I'm good . How are you doing ? Yeah , true , how are you ? I'm not asking because I just want to know .
I truly want to know how you're doing .
Well , okay , let me see I'm coming out strong .
You're coming out strong . There's some story that you're not ready to share , are you ? You will come out strong and thank you for being vulnerable with that answer . So let's get to this conversation right now . So what does it mean to you to be a Gen Z ? Being a Gen Z ?
it means so many things . Gen Z is my generation and in this generation I would only use the word . The generation is kind of scary at times .
Why do you say so ?
Because we have the more like , let me say , the more things get better . You see , it was a side of things .
Please take me through that . What does that mean ?
That means the more the bad , the more we become positive . That's the same part in negative aspects . When we're fighting good , the more we are accepted with that . We still need to fight the bad part .
¶ Challenges and Mentoring for Gen Zs
Now let me cite an example . In the aspect of living , there are a lot of challenges , a lot of challenges . Let me say , for example we have so many persons that are going through a lot , so many persons that are going through a lot . We need mentors , you need mentors , we'll get you .
We need people that relate with us as Gen Zs .
We need people that have gone past what we've gone past to help us understand life , Like we need people to teach us the way . We need people to stand up for us because , yes , you've passed that same road that I want to pass . The reason for a mentor is for you not to stay long in the desert . That is why a mentor is so .
We need people to help us go through . There are a lot of Gen Zs that are struggling a lot . That is why some persons go to the negative part . Some persons really don't have a choice . Let me say , okay , they have a choice . Actually .
Go ahead , don't mind me , I'm listening .
They have a choice , because there is no positive part pulling them , they see more of the negative part pulling them and they kind of fall into the wrong part . So that's why we need people to stand up for us , because we help us understand .
Understand that . So let me come to Jiboisa personally now . How do you personally identify with being Generation Z ? Okay , okay , Okay , okay .
I think this is one of the best generations . Let me start by saying that One of the best generations is with ACOB , which is a lot of things in this generation . This generation , we have Gen Z For people who don't know who , gen Zs are let me explain . Please explain , help For people who don't know who Gen Zs are . Generation Z started from 1997 to 2012 .
So those persons like within the age range of 1997 to 2012 , you were Gen Z . So , that's who Gen Zs are . Gen Zs are really wonderful persons , loveable people .
Okay , what you're saying is that a lot of people would not agree that Gen Zs are loving yeah .
They would not understand that , but we are loving yeah , convince me . Okay , in like the older generations , not Gen Z , the older generations .
Oh , just go ahead yeah .
If you chip the things like the way things are now , we are social .
Okay .
We are social , like we Not just been loving , we crave for knowledge . We crave for knowledge . You're not this kind of person that we go to the extreme like we want to know . We want to know .
We are not just like , if you go back way back some generations backwards through my own body , that's on generations they we kind of so centered , like genius , like I think .
I Knicks . That's my generation .
We share information .
Okay , so I'm gonna , I'm gonna stop you there because , with all that , is it when you , when I hear all the time , oh , oh , I want Gen Z shot there . Rude there , there , there's some stereotypes . That comes with that , okay , you're so aware to the point of being rude .
You're so aware to the point of you know , yes , you're entrepreneurial , but you would do anything , you know , whether good or bad , to make money . You know so , do you want to ?
How does that impact you and probably the people in you might be different from what is on social media , but when you hear this kind of stereotypes , how does that , you know , affect you ? Negatively or positively ?
It's kind of negative Because the same knowledge and the same everybody have that different opinions . Some people are just moral or something . There's something I need to let Saying that says when the knowledge of the thing Like they say , let me try .
When the thing is not known or the purpose of the thing is not , in the non inevitable there's a lot of knowledge .
There's a lot of knowledge . Yeah , the abuse comes now is not being able to use the world , not being able to use that knowledge now for people like me . Yeah , I'm a Genzi . Yeah , I'm proud to say that I'm Genzi and thank God because I Kind of I'm not that knowledge of what I need to .
I know , Try to put them , I've just put them in a positive direction .
Mmm , mmm . I put them in a positive Mmm , okay . So again , there's so many questions in my head and I'm going to try to wring us in . I hear Social media . That is when people , even with some conversations of hadry people who are not in my eyes .
I'm so struggling with using this generation thing , but for the purpose of this conversation , I want that Genzies are always protecting their mental health . So how does how does this play out really for your kind ? If I could use that .
The reason why we protect our mental health . It's very important to be mentally stable . You need to be mentally stable . We've actually Come like people are actually going through a lot of things and the way the word is they say Problem . Nowadays , the way the word is a problem discussed .
If you're not discussing the right person , you are actually revealing your weakness . Hmm , so that's why some person they don't really come out of that show and I tell people what they go through . They like to keep you to themselves Because you don't want to say something to the anti-mory stylus from somebody else .
I don't know if you don't want to come to Twitter and say something , or so people are trying to protect their cell .
Okay , so that's where I'm going to pick it from . When you say you're trying to protect yourself , what informs that ? Is it the generation or the things that you have seen From people older than you , or the things that happen within your own circle ?
Actually , it's Experiences and things that we've heard , things that all does have experience , not just my generation . Genesies for all that generations . So we kind of pick the things and we Don't want it to happen . And some persons also what they have also experienced , what they've experienced .
They've experienced something like maybe they said something or something happened and it was supposed to be kept in a secret and came out . They see themselves vulnerable to some things because of what they said or what they've done or what's out has been done to them .
Okay . So I'm trying to explore this because you know , yeah , we saw what happened . I'm not talking about politics , but we saw what happened in the last election and how Very vibrant the Gen Z .
If everybody could see me like this I'm , I'm dreaming board head commas with Gen Z , like Gen Z , I'm very careful because I personally Don't , like you know , this is dichotomies , but it's the world that we leave in . We have to live by statistics so that we can help ourselves and you know , I could feel the general , this distance .
It's a safe Gen Z's have this General feeling that people have filled them , so they have to Um , or the people ahead of them has filled them , or the world is the workplace of filled them . Society has filled , yes , society has failed them , so they have to take the world by themselves . Is this , is this correct , okay ?
yeah , jensies are say , jensies are self and we tend to build ourselves . We do more by investments for ourselves .
So there's more into personal development than there is . So , are you saying in . So my question really is where's this coming from ? Is it coming from the fact that you saw that the older generations were not very Invested in personal development , or it's just something that you know ? You're just questioning ?
Do we do what it's like ? Why would we be growing ? There's some things that we're not Explained to us , I got you , I got you , mmm there's something that we're not explained to us .
They cover some things Mmm .
That is a thing in us now .
So that's where your mentorship thing comes in . There's some things here .
There's something that will cover , and we know it's . What's there ? Like how would you give birth to a child and You're giving that child everything he wants ? Then , on the line , maybe something happened and you didn't teach that child how to catch the fish , but you were just kidding that child fish . You were feeling . And then what happens ?
You never thought of what if I'm not there for that child , hmm , in the future , how will it catch the fish ? So that's where the problem comes . Hmm , why you are giving the fish . You must be able to teach to catch the fish , in case you were not around .
So , oh , you just did that . Other people know you're like okay , you're raised , you're so weird , let's go to the , to the way of parental upbringing . That's what she just said now .
So you are a legend that parents indulged , overly indulged their children , the Gen Z children , and did not empower them enough to to be able to be resilient in the face of challenges yes , oh well , actually because of the family , my dad actually tried his capacity .
Almost all their wonderful people . I respect them , but but what go ahead ? I never knew how much a cup of rice was , because my dad was going to buy . Can't bring in the bags and bags and bags and bags and I gotcha I never knew all of this , to see you , sire , living the house and style style exploring the world on our own .
So these things , we know , these things that we need to help our , our way to help our , of course , because he was in abundance , we never felt any need to have no to you know , to be , to be frugal , or to you know , just , you know , I get you , I get you .
So you're saying now if correct me if I'm wrong .
You're saying now that some of the characteristics by which the gen z , especially those in Nigeria , let me , because I'm , I don't , I'm not exposed to other gen z is is the fact that most parents did not empower the children with something that could help them be resilient in the face of challenges yeah , I wouldn't say I don't know you can correct me , of
course you can . Yeah , you can correct me and explain to me . I'm just spirits , yeah , mentors , guidance and not , and even friends .
It is not just about why I , why I , why I've been pointed . This parent act is not just in the actual appearance . It's not just in the actual appearance . They did their part , they tried , but we still need more information so , no , protect .
So the protection was too much , the protection was too much . So let's , let's , let's , let's , let's go to um a cultural , the cultural aspect . All right , of course you know what just happened . Was it about how many days ago ? You know kse and I star and all the drama that surrounded that . Okay , so is it true that , of course , this is you , I'm not .
You speak for yourself and the people within your circle , but the general perception is that gen z's question basic culture , basic , um , basic culture , cut to see in order . That is this true ?
yeah , the question is because , uh , because of , let me say , partially improper information , there's something I wish and the there's something I wish and didn't know . Like there's an information I wish and did this something that's already been in place
¶ Generational Clash and Mutual Respect
? I have a mentor I have a mentor . Normally when I meet people I stretch up my hand for an hajik so he normally like I'll stretch his older than me I just remember him for a check . He shakes me sometimes but the point he had to be open to me .
He told me that I know it's wrong for me , as the younger one , to stretch my hand out to him for an hajik but he can't .
If he could , he could ask the elder ?
I don't . I'm the youngest , so he must stretch out the than first to me before I can shake him . I'm , I'm . I'm disrespecting if I stretch my hand first to me I can just greet him . They would like how are you they , how ? So ?
that is it , and it was kind of weird for me when I was so it's not something I just started doing , what , okay , so I'm going to put you a little bit of the sport here . Are you of the same ethnic um orientation ? You and this mentor ? Uh , okay , is , is it evil ? Is yoruba is ? Okay , is from the middle belt of Nigeria .
So , so there's some culture clash there .
Uh , and there will be a culture clash . I see that as like when he told me that I see us in normal way should be why did you take that as a normal to him ?
to him , just to him ? But I'm just gonna say that you don't give me any information , I just take it .
I absorb it and sleep , provide and think it like before I come to the competition about anything . But when he told me that , I was like , wow , wow , wow .
This is something that I need to cultivate in myself not just I see that it's this house should be normal for everybody , and it doesn't come out as condescending to you , no , I see that this house should be .
She didn't ask a younger person . If you want to wait to receive the handshake , you should . You should earn it . If you earn that handshake , if you don't try to get it for yourself , you should earn it because when an older person gives you is how to shake , it means you're not just .
There's something that you should know so there's some virtue in you that that , yeah , there's a virtue in you that he has come to respect yeah , and not just about the virtue .
There's a kind of level of respect that he's giving to you yeah , yeah , he's like an honor . It's an honor . It's not just it's not seeing you as a normal person .
It's an honor for an older person wanting to shake you all right , if you're wondering what I'm speaking with , I'm speaking with chipwizard . He's a gen z . Remember I did say , oh , and I I told ola , uh , in our conversation , uh about bridging generational gaps , that I was going to get some , you know .
So I'm still probably going to get a hopefully a female into the studio , unless here from their side and of course we hear that in the works .
And what you just said now just blew my mind because , yeah , I could sit down here and you know , debate for and against , whether , but your perception of an elderly person stretching out their rent to Gucci is the fact that this elderly person , you have earned the respect and , well , some regard from this older person to see you almost as an equal in somebody
that he can , he can tap from and you can tap from June . Did I get that correctly ? Uh , whoof , whoof . That just like whoof . You're right .
So that's because we hear , because I , someone was telling me the holiday that I think the where the I hope I'm getting the story correctly , all right there were interviewing someone , and again it comes around mental health , equity and resilience .
Uh , this , this person , this gen Z , was in the studio and then her alarm went off and um , she's , of course she respectfully turns off the alarm and says to the people that were interviewing her that is her mental break for the time and , of course , that shocked the . The person was a millionaire or where . It's like , oh , come on , you don't .
You don't come there and yeah , protect your mental health and all that , but you don't come to an official space .
And so how do you , how do you guys marry I hate that I use guys right now because it's so out of but how do you guys marry that uniqueness that that's self aware uniqueness that this generation is characterized by the self-aware uniqueness with , with a generation , especially in the workplace , with a generation that thinks that you were too aware , therefore rude
not as a weapon , um being aware to the extent that you come rude that's the perception . I'm not saying that's the perception . That's what they make us . That's that's what they make us believe in . The media that are , gen Z just asks for whatever they want , no
¶ Expressing Knowledge and Wisdom
matter what happens . So , and I at this is me just , you know defining it as an amazing amount of self-awareness yeah , when you are aware what is , what is the knowledge about ?
what's getting knowledge about ? Yeah , you are getting knowledge for you to express free . You're not getting knowledge to now starts like your knowledge is for expression . You know , giving knowledge to now incubated and people inside now , once you find something that does not suits you , you express yourself you know keeping to your , this is not being rude .
Yeah , yeah , you're not being rude at all . Maybe the person they see that's your rude . But no , as much , you know going . You know attacking the person negative .
You are positive , you are attack negative so that maybe if the person is attacking negative , when you can see the person's rude , or once the person is giving out positive attack , after they are written , this is called criticism , yeah .
Constructive criticism , yeah , yeah there's no .
There's criticism , negative ones and the constructive ones who I don't see anything being rude . You are not eligible . You need to express your knowledge .
When you see something is not the way it ought to be , you come in this is not how this or when you see something that you don't like , something that that affect that threatens your emotions , something that threatens your mental health , you have to express a student in class and you're what you're trying saying .
It's not telling with what you know or what you've heard of , or you're just not understanding . You don't understand . You need to call me sir , please . I don't understand this . Please help me explain , please . Expansion , did your work as a teacher ? That is why you're there to explain better as a parent . I don't understand this . What are you talking about ?
There's nothing your parents say you . It's not like you're talking back at your parents . They should not see like your roots to them . There's nothing that you need to explain to me for me to know more as a parent . Yeah , I need to understand this and to help me understand so that we just you know rude , we just think you help me understand this .
So you heard it . You heard it , guys . Then root teacher just wants you to explain some gray areas . That is not clear and I think that is the gg to anyone , to yourself , to other people , to to make sure that there's no you .
It was part of what Olan I said in the last episode that you know , if there's , there's an oddity , you know I'm going to use it again that I used in that episode . I says that the wisdom of the young and the wisdom of the old works together . Is was what was the oracle was , yes , the wisdom of the young and the wisdom of the old was the oracle .
That birth said . You leave it , of course . You know they fit . Is that ? Yeah , that's what that's isn't . Yeah , it's isn't a dating you're about ? Yeah , what do you ?
think about that . Yeah , it's cool yeah yeah , generations of the generation . They have to combine to make a perfect world . We have to combine knowledge . Like when you work , if you come in the era of technologies it was worth the heart in time past .
Like when you check the how memory card came of all the teaching , you check the first memory that was , that was maybe it was as big as this . When I only look at the Americas now , you can see one , one-twelve on terabytes can inside the small hole . So that is the wisdom of the old . It's evolved ages . Now the , the wisdom of the , the .
There's another thing that is what a other older can see sitting out at the young . Like I cannot say climate change , I would say that this my church . Now it's kind of wrong .
Don't tell me that , I will not listen to that okay , so well , if you , if you were going to rebirth that , uh , that I did .
You know what you say what I would say is if you're not knowledgeable , you can't start telling me things , no matter how old you are no matter how old you have all the great some things that you still don't know , some things , no matter how you experience you are in this world , life evolves .
Life evolves , so it can't tell you all that , all that's happened to you , some things that are still new . Yeah , they say that there's no new thing . There are new things . I'll tell you that they are new . It might not be new like new new new like .
But this is a different present is happening to it's not to the same person who was happening in time past and this is a new person with a different mentality . Oh , yeah , yeah , it is not the same person with that same method is a new and a different timeline .
So you can't tell me that every event is , yeah , it's a different event or career course , but it is another person to be occurring to and the person might not . The person might not like retell it the way the other person retell it . You might not see it the way the person saw it .
So you can't tell me that , what happened then and what is happening now , that you're not sure that I'm going to respond the way you responded oh yeah , it's hmm so now , what ? back to what I said , yeah , well , yeah , yeah , I'll hold up and I'll sit down and you're gonna play in the house you can't see . Okay , if you are . If you can see what ?
Okay , let me mention , like , if you see the guy's making it now in the industry , what industry ? Let me go to the musical . Okay , now , see , you can't , okay , you can't about tell I'm using whiskey . Now let me tell you what's in the hospital worth award and other months is a younger cannot see the climate industry ? Tell why you still where you are .
If you could see what he's in okay , you said I'm getting schooled as much as you know .
I'm getting getting getting , yeah , because , of course , one of the characteristics of the Gen Z , according to whatever the global characteristics that's , you know , you all are very socially conscious and you have just you have just called me on that um , and then the entrepreneurial spirit again , you've also said that there and financial pragmatism .
Do you know why I'm going to pick you up on financial pragmatism ? And I , I would you know , it's because of what you said earlier about your parents . You didn't know how much a cup of rice was , so how has that affected you ? Um , you know , now that you Out of the of the den and trying to make life .
Seriously , I did not know how much , gary . Let's say age 15 or 16 and that's bad , that's very bad . Because I'm saying it's me .
Okay , okay , so let me make it easier . If you were the parents , how would you do it ?
There's something that I'm kind of . There's something I'm kind of I want to put in place . I Will train my children to the next thing you ask , as I'm training them . So , yes , I'll mention that before you get to this age that you are now productive .
You must be productive I'm getting .
Actually , I'll give them , I'll give them a time Line like that before you get to this level . These are the certain things that I must have become accustomed to you . I will let them know . I'll let them know what they ought to know .
Okay . So when you say what they ought to know , what are you saying ? Can't just give me like what do you mean by what they ought to know ?
Okay , I'll teach him about life . Hmm life is not that a rosy thing . You see , in my house , ra , life is not like . It is not this flowers . You see this beautiful palace I'm going from straight before I got wherever I am now . I grew up on the street . I must tell them how the street looks like . There's only my pastor does .
My pastor , my best place is fine , it's doing great now . Well , there's only does . It takes us here in this car and they drive through this Bachelors . Is how the world is outside . Don't come to my house and like , yeah , you're king , you're queen , princess , but that people out there that things you need to know about life .
To the case you come Across this thing , you know what to do . Hmm , can you be able to know what to do ? You be able to know because when you're open thoughts on this thing , when you go out , when you face life , you be able to shake .
This is what these white people attempt suicide Because they did not experience life , so when life just came , Like Did not grow , did not be grounded in life . They've no experience . They need to be experiencing this . No , the one you're child is crying . You stop it . Did the child cry ?
You know Not , just , it's not about you know , like making so far , just experience things , hmm , you'll be able to defend yourself . Oh .
Ah , yeah , yeah .
The things like in easier . As I Hear it . I said every child , once you go to an extent , they teach you the art of war . Yeah , they were grooming the Mm-hmm . So now , wherever you go , it's not just to use its Negative man , she can even defend yourself .
Oh , wow , hey , it was our school to me and I really have enjoyed this conversation . So if you are going to round off this conversation about Generational labeling and all of that , what would you be saying ?
Just shaming of that , of that generation are shaving . Oh , the causes of this generation are shaving is people don't want to change to . You know , change is something that is always , always that , that that is . So guys always change change is always evolving .
Inside change , there is change .
That is what we should asset . That change will always come to be you um melancholy Generation , a generation alpha Just open to change , you open to communication ? Ah , we need to be open to it . And this , this thing called change , you have to shave me , mm-hmm . That's , we're just been evolving from one generation into another generation .
Yes , this beefing is in the Way back now you need to . You need to say to yourself that this is talks with me . You need to say this in this this thing stops me . You need to go for knowledge . You need to asset the change that has come to stay and do more media and I , maybe that is what .
That is why what um max Zuckerberg , for example , built Facebook on pen palling . I don't know whether you ever heard of that gotcha there . You see , yeah , what pen pal ? Yeah , google it . Google is your friend . I just carry demand to come in . So , pen palling , if you have in front , so you are , let us do so .
That's how we used to Facebook , that is how we used to tweet or X , that's how we used to Instagram , you know , in a start . So , pen palling , you could send the picture to you know , and it was through slow me snail mail slow mail depending on post office mail and yeah , we used to write letters . Do you know what that is ?
You know I went to Berkeley . It will take two weeks for my parents to know whether I had gotten to school or not .
We had a regular letter is back , but we lived on faith and hope and all of that , and I'm hoping that we can all marry these things and birth a generation that is less of mistrust than you know , suspicion and , using your word , this is my office is my tool . Thank you very much you for coming for the show , appreciate it .
We actually had tea , okay , happy , I had coffee , but this conversation I'm sure I don't know whether you finished your tea . My coffee is so cold . I was so engaged with how he was it , of course . Eventually he opened up and they just went off on me . Thank you so much for coming . Appreciate and thank you for coming early . Appreciate that .
That was so undeniable . He got into them like he came an hour a fool hour earlier than planned , so we had time to catch up and to know each other . Yes , this is the first time I'm seeing him . Yeah , the first time we were seeing him and he came an hour early . It was so un-genzied , I'm like when he got my leg . I'm here , I'm like what ?
You're right . So this is to say that , in as much as whatever , whoever is doing the dichotomies and doing the parameters say Gen X , gen M , gen , whatever are so-so and so they're stereotypes that will definitely be common to native you would find them at least .
I just told you she was a came here an hour earlier that we should have started recording and I'm so ,
¶ Inter-Generational Acceptance and Love
so , so , so grateful . It seems that perception is a powerful thing . Perception is a powerful thing . Why don't we reach out to one another younger generation , older generation and whatever accept one another , you know , in a blank state , with a blank slate . That's what I'm looking for with a blank slate .
Don't go with some preconception that this person is so , so and so , or that person , oh , because this person was born between 1993 and 2000 and whatever is going to do this or she's going to do this , these are just mere perception . Let's love one another enough to give each other grace as much as you would want grace to be extended to you .
I am going to look for some other Gen Z to come have a conversation , or Gen M or Gen X . Somebody already has somebody in my generation . I hope I can have somebody from you . Know , let's see how we can just stop this generational using chipwires as words , be fake and the next time , love yourself , love your neighbor , love your country .
Above all of these , love God . Here's the essence of your being . Until the next time , mindfully to me , she comes your way . Stay curious .