Embracing Vulnerability and Passion for a Fulfilling Life

A lot of young men and women really have interacted with him . But you know why this is so full circle for me . It's so full circle for me because the first photoshoot that I did for Black Images back in 2009 on Wemco Road it's Wemco Road or Akme on Akme , on Wemkorod or Akme , right ?

He actually what he did was he actually rented a place and then we went to take a photo shoot there and then there was a particular picture maybe I'll add it to this episode or not , or when I'm promoting . There was a particular picture that he took .

I had my head wrapped in Olo Demeta that is the Ondo headge , we call it ulu dimeta and it's ghillie and I had my black uh adire kind of clothes wrapped around my head and I had a smile , and then he framed it and that was his gift for me and he wrote black by I'm black by divine design .

All right , of course , he knew that it was black images and I was like , okay , so why did you frame this ? And he said , someday , when you have an office for black images , you then will put this in your office and voila , he's here today and I have a picture with me . I have a picture with me and , um , I've been wanting to collect the story .

Shim akisomi , how are you ? No , you can't say you're wonderful . You like , you have to tell me exactly because on mindfully to michi , how , if you're wonderful , tell me why you're wonderful okay well , uh , I'm weary and tired . Why ? What happened ? All right , uh , okay , so shiwaki , some is in the studio and he says he's weary and tired .

Why are you weary and tired ?

Uh , some weeks ago this month , and just sharing I mean , most men will not talk to their dad and even my dad was like she won't be a man and I had to almost shout at my dad . I said what does it mean to be a man ? I'm telling you , I'm tired . You are telling me to be a man . Is it because I haven't told you ? You know ? But ?

But you know , I'm encouraged by Apostle Paul , knowing that a lot of what he went through , a lot of the writings he did , was while he was in prison . Actually , that's why , you notice , I resumed my writing July 1st .

So , regardless of what one is going through , just keep doing at least whatever you feel you are called to do , knowing that you are not likely going to have a perfect scenario life anyways but it's interesting nonetheless when you say interesting , what does interesting mean in this ?

And since I resumed I realized , even before I resumed the right then a lot of people that were going through similar challenges that didn't know what I was going through were being quote , led to me for counsel , for guidance . And my writing reaches . You know , on WhatsApp alone I have over 5,000 contacts . That's just WhatsApp contact .

The Facebook is there , so they span that my writing reaches and I'm surprised that other people are like ah , mr Shion , thanks so much , you blessed me with this writing , you encouraged me to go on . So I'm like , wow . So despite through this , you know shaking , I'm still being a blessing .

You know , this is interesting , I'm going to keep you know going on . And I was inspired really by Apostle Paul . Just one day just occurred to me that almost all the letters this guy wrote was while he was in prison . The average person would be praying God , let me be free and then I'll write letters . This guy kept you know writing in .

So , while you know , resuming the writing , the testimonies that kept coming in , was actually soothing and encouraging to me . So that's what I meant by interesting .

And I think for me , I'm also getting to that point where I personally don't know how to pray that type of prayer that , ah , god , let me live a life without challenges , because it's as if I've been having one challenge or the other since I can remember . I remember the first challenge I had . I was one year , 16 months old .

Just get back to my junior sister and they just put an earring all in our hair and put her up to hold it and out of curiosity , I went there and pulled the rope and blood everywhere and the way my mom beats me , oh , I remember that , you know .

So I have a vivid memory and so I just realized look , if you think it most great people in the Bible , how many of them had a perfectly serene . You know life anyway . So , shion , this is you know your life . Just pray for grace to go through whatever you're going through and keep you know being at least a blessing .

There's one about the diary of a , of an entrepreneur or something yeah and to bring your tears over of a nigerian , jesus . Why did you talk about that in a moment ? But because the first book I'm reading about from your articles on on socials is from praising to photography . I've not finished it , and that's because I'll tell you why I've not finished it .

Because I take notes when I and so I'm writing , I'm reading , I see something , and then I take a break and do some writing on my own . So , um , let's from pleasing to photography .

One of the stories that um hit me , and this is because I think that a lot of us , or a lot of identity crisis that we have as n Nigerians , is because we think that we're the only ones who are capable of being Form 19 . Yeah , can you tell us the story about how Michael Jackson duped you .

Yeah , yeah it was him the dad named the transporter in the name of his son , so he was buying my pen for what ? One Naira , sometimes two Naira and I was his son . So he was buying my pen for what ? One naira , sometimes two naira , and I was like , wow , this is business .

So that was when , you know , I discovered that I had , you know , entrepreneurship uh skills in me , and then fast forward to when I got to university , started a company , uh , although they sent me to america to , you know , study I was studying accounting .

But then I got there and realized that I'm someone that whenever I see problems around , I see opportunities , opportunities to make money . So mention any problem that we are going through in Nigeria , and for me I see more of an opportunity than a problem . So I saw an opportunity and I started a company .

My first company was a textbook for less dot com , partnered with three companies Amazoncom , yahoo and eBay , and Jeff Bezos was an inspiration . I wanted to be like him . He actually started selling books . I started my book , too , selling books , and in an attempt to grow and sell beyond books , I wanted to start selling electronics . So I went on Yahoo search .

I saw this guy selling gadgets . It's the equivalent on Yahoo . You know , search I saw this guy selling gadgets is the equivalent of what you call iPhone 15 . This version of iPhone just came out . The colleague pound pound for day and I bought a dozen from him and then that was 2000 in America . Online banking was , you know , common ?

Then it took a while to get to Nigerian by the time I click you know common . Then it took a while to get to nigeria by the time I clicked . You know , send for payment seven . It was not up to 10 seconds . Someone you know because you could monitor and see people bidding for other people's stuff . Someone sent me a message .

I was like I hope you're not , you know , paying for that guy's whatever because he's a fraud and then it dawned on me I think I've entered you know one chance and I realized that eventually this guy was actually a scam artist .

You know that was , you know , putting up fake , you know , auctions online and I had paid for 12 , 12 , that I had collected the money from my eBay account from 12 other people at a much higher fee and just , you know , just trying to , you know , make ends meet .

And then I realized that this one , I think perhaps didn't you know , start with Nigerians , because and I also realize , of course , michael Jackson is just not the name of one artist . That was the first . I now searched Michael Jacksonoo search was common . Then came up the result of there are over 10 000 people in America with the name Michael Jackson .

And that's how my journey to uh prison eventually began . Because those that paid for it they were like um shame , where's my money ? And then I was procrastinating paying them back .

They reported me to the police and the thing with , you know , police in America is , once you are reported , unless you die or maybe significant number of years goes by and it's not a serious crime . They won't forget you , you know .

So eventually it took them nine months because America is big to eventually get to my school , because I registered my account on eBay with my school email or a case art siuedu , so they knew that this guy must be a student of Southern yeah so eventually they got to my school , arrested me and , as I began my six-month journey in four American prisons and it was

an adventurous journey , I'll say- Okay .

I felt , you know the way my parents , you know , were dealing with me . I felt , no , no , I must be adopted . I must . I don't think I'm their child because the way they hate me , they were disciplining me . I just felt hated . You know , went to one pharmacy , took some drugs , you know , swallowed it and woke up paralyzed in the hospital .

So , you know , went to one pharmacy , took some drugs , you know , swallowed it and woke up paralyzed in the hospital . So , you know , coming back from there , seeing that my parents really loved me , I was , you know , in the words of kanunwa , called determined to make these parents proud of me all right you gave .

You know him not realizing that , whatever you are venturing into that you've not done before , getting a mentor will help you avoid a lot of pitfalls . I learned the hard way that the fact that I was making money doesn't mean doesn't mean I was on the right path . So by the time they picked me up , ah , that that hit me harder .

Man , I have failed my family , not just my family , my generation yet again , and that was the third time . I just felt , ah , I just feel like killing myself because the shame that , you know , I felt to be on my parents , uh , I felt that would be so unbearable because , ah , I've showed them too much again .

So you know that shame , you know , uh , disappointment was of being a failure was the first thing that done on me , and first few weeks in prison was , you know , quite depressing , but eventually , maybe , I started , you know , getting used to it and quote , having fun what fun could there be in prison , though ?

uh , for me it's fun when you get to prison and meet people and hear stories of people that have done worse things than you . I'm in a room I remember one of my room cellmates , jamal . This guy pulled up his shirt and I saw bullet holes that I had deal from . I was like you know , it was a gang and you were like I didn't shoot anyone

. Truth is wherever you meet in prison . In most cases they are in a state of humility whether you say , whether r kelly or all these names , when they get to prison , or bar sanjo , when they are in prison . They are not forming that .

You know who I am , even though I met one guy that was on the phone threatening and I said if I come down I must smoke you in my head . I was like guy on the other end . Why don't you believe this guy ? Calm down . But most people in prison are actually quote humble and in a sorry state .

So meeting them and hearing stories of what they've done almost all of them , in fact , at one of the prisons I was considered a hero . They were like wow , shame , you commit the call it a financial fraud . That that's some , that's some , that's some brains . You got there , man , you know , because some of them were there because they killed someone .

I met one 65 year old man that was there . He had been released . He was there because he killed his two granddaughters drunk . He was drunk and driving and he had an accident . So by the time you meet people that have committed more serious crimes than you , you go ah , thank you , it's just $5,000 that I defrauded people , I didn't kill someone .

So that's where the fun just started , and the food was good too . Show food , wow , one of the prisons Between , I can't forget . Between lunch and dinner they served us cookies Homemade sorry , prison-made fresh big chocolate chip cookies , and they were so good that we were trading with it .

So maybe for some people I'll be like , okay , I'll help you do this if you give me your cookies . Some will say , okay , I'll give you my cookies , you give me cigarettes , so you know . So it was an adventure , an adventure for me , really you guys should see his face .

Then I'm focusing on the precinct photography , because there's a lot of in-betweens in , uh , the , the personal challenges and sexual challenges and all of that . But I don't want , I sincerely don't want , to dwell on that .

So forgive me if I don't ask any question around that , but I want to , because now , when you started this conversation , you you spoke as if you and your dad are now like great , like you are now great friends , but I , I I want to tie that .

How did um , your journey through four prisons in america affect or impact or influence your relationship with your parents , especially your dad ?

So I started writing while in prison and a lot of my writings then were more like what Job was writing ? Oh , unto the day that I was born . I wish you know I'd never , you know , was born blah , blah , blah .

And I remember when my while in prison , I eventually found out that my dad had the equivalent of a heart attack and , you know , was hospitalized when he heard of the news . So for me , you know that shame grew . You know it was more like a volatile whatever .

So I was just ashamed and I remember , by the time I got back arriving at the maritala muhammad airport , many times we read the bible and not many people can feel what a lot of the characters go through . I experienced what that prodigal son went through . It was me that was the prodigal son . My dad was the was me that was the prodigal son .

My dad was the one that was like the only thing my dad didn't do was like go and kill the father's calf , you know , didn't throw a party , but I could still remember , you know , him welcoming me with a hug . He had some connections , he had left word , you know , with our son . I said , look , my son is coming , thank God , what son ?

They said , look , my son is coming , thank god . What I did wasn't a crime . Crime , at least in nigeria . So he welcomed me and then , uh , I remember we had a meeting few days after . After their welcome , I read all what I wrote .

It was like so I read all this society that you wrote , you know , and he told me had one of the toughest conversations that I probably had with him . It was like you say , you want to kill yourself . If you kill yourself last , last , maybe your mom will spend one year to a month , maybe six months . We will all move on .

You know , now that you've done this , you better gather yourself together and , you know , find a way to rebuild . All I know is I will not send you again to abroad , so you better find a way to rebuild . I all I knew is I would not send you again to abroad , so you better find a way to .

So it was so , that's if I was sent back to ground zero , trying to please my parents especially .

Now , you know , but they're showing me love . What did that do to your psyche ?

I think most of us can't handle that level of love , maybe because we didn't grow up with it , and that's why maybe a lot of us find it difficult to imagine a Heavenly Father that loves us unconditionally , to imagine a heavenly father that loves us unconditionally , so unconditionally that I believe , if judas had asked for repentance , I'm with you .

You would have , you know , god it was a prophecy .

Sometimes I would be comparing myself with my other siblings . In fact , I stopped comparing Just two , three years ago when I realized look , sean , you are the only entrepreneur in this entire family . All your siblings , they are employees . Whatever , a lot of what you do won't probably make sense If you are starting a business . They are not risk-advised .

They are likely to look just keep yourself . So a lot of what you do may not make . So don't compare . You know yourself and I'm finally realizing that I shall know this is , this is you .

But growing up then , even after the prison saga , it was a lot on me trying to , you know , please them , and I think one prayer that you know helped me uh , I , of course , started businesses again . One thing I pray to god god , you know , you know I'm this entrepreneur .

I need you to help me by sending me the right mentors , and what god did for me , that was send mentors through the church I attended . This was the main church I attended .

I joined when I got back from America and for me , it was the only church that I was teaching and raising entrepreneurs , and so that was a good guide for me and it really helped me a lot .

I've walked at least half of the spoken word , but I'm working with you as you tell the story now and I'm asking myself how did you navigate , you know , knowing that you were not raised to be an entrepreneur , you didn't have a father's , a model to be an entrepreneur and , like you said , you are the first entrepreneur in the akisomi lineage .

How do you think it should have been different if you had someone speaking to your life ? Oh , I think shilka , right ?

those years . Uh , there was this service , they called the entrepreneur service service attending . In fact I have a jeep that still has this cassette player . I have a lot of those tapes and there was a way that his spirit of confidence , his spirit of wisdom was transferred , just listening to him .

Because right after being deported , the first major confrontation , you would think , after that type of scenario , everything your parents say , you'd be saying yes , ma , yes , sir , because you've disappointed them . And then my dad calls me . You know , after one or two years , you know .

So you know back in the early 2000s , hopefully , maybe now , I don't know your parents don't ask you what you want to be when you grow up . They tell you what you are going to be . So my dad called me for a meeting . I was like so tomorrow you are going to go to yaba and there's this icon office . You are going to go and collect icon form .

You know , because when you're an accountant , icon is the next thing . And that was the first time in my entire life I could remember telling my dad no , that , uh , I'm not doing accounting . I was studying accounting to try to be like you , to try to please you .

But I think I've found something that to bring you know me , fulfillment , and this photography , and right on the rocking chair .

I could picture my dad almost falling from the chair because you know it was like for talking me , and I would have been able to have that confidence to say that , to tell my father that I'm trying to please no , I'm not doing what you want me to do , because is there no part in the Bible that says children obey your parents in the Lord , for this is right

, honor your father . So you know , but if not for that spirit of confidence from Samadhi , I mean I knew this was the right thing . I mean I thought , hey , july , you know , stop doing what people wanted me to do .

All I need is one example of socks , for example . Right now I have a dream to visit the International Space Station as a photographer , and it's because at least I've seen one person that has done it . I have a dream , maybe next year , to visit a safari desert somewhere in Africa where you can play with lions .

That man as John let's share a bit of story .

All right , so I literally and that's why I asked that question I literally grew up by myself and found myself and , of course , when I got to um daystar back in 1999 and you know , but I think , I think entrepreneurial classes started around the 2000 , 2001 and all that , but his story , what , what that did for me is that , just like you , it gave me some

level of confidence to find myself and be myself , and I think in anyone who's being under under samadhi , I mean would say that the , the thing that comes up with it is the quiet resonance that comes with knowing and just being who you are and fighting for that .

I asked this question . The reason I asked that question now is , you know , I knew , of course you have to have pushed back for you to have gone into photography , so when you got that pushback working with the fact that same scripture that you just spoke now honor your father and mother . You know , and you just pushed back .

Did it at any point affect your journey as a photographer , when knowing that your father was not 100% behind you as a photographer , did it affect you in any way as you journeyed as a business person ?

You know wrong , and sometimes that six months to two years is easier when you are not depending on them . It's easier when you are not living in their house , because if you are living in their house , they are still the one feeding you . It can be difficult , you know .

Yeah , so for me , I think my dad had gotten to the point where he realized wait , up until now , up until this guy is 20 , something , a lot of what I've told him to do , he still does his mind . So he said you want to do photography , let him , you know .

And my dad watched me start my photographic career by following the message samadhi emmy preached one day . Samadhi emmy said so what is that thing that you have ? So Moses God asked him what is in your hand ? So Moses said it's only a star phone . And I literally looked at my hand and saw a Nokia 7200 camera phone , the megapixel .

Then I mean I have a Samsung phone now , this is a 50 megapixel phone . The megapixel of that Nokia phone was 0.3 . So it was not even up to one megapixel . And somebody is saying start with what you have . I started with my phone and every single event I'll go out documented , you know , send the pictures to print lab abroad printed .

And my dad watched me for almost six months and the next meeting he'll call me for , of course I was afraid . I was like so how much is that professional camera that you said you know you need again ? Okay , tell your sister to buy it for you .

I think what he noticed was this guy is , you know , he's bent on following this decision he has made and he looked at the results . I was not , you know , waiting for him to even support me . Yeah , and he looked at the results . I was not , you know , waiting for him to even support me .

And he saw that , regardless of whether I came on board or not , I was still working to achieve this . And somewhere in his head he must have thought ah , this guy must be stubborn the way me too , I was stubborn when I was young .

Anyway , let me quickly support him so that I'll be part of his success story success story and he bought me my first professional camera and 800 dollars , 800 dollars .

Then he's even so after six months of him saying that , look whether or not he was on board , I was , you know , going to do what I felt I wanted and with that , you know , he has seen how has how I've grown over the years up to the point that one of the first major arguments my dad would have with me was when I was going out with him .

He was in Abuja . Then he was like we're going to visit one of his friends in the club . He was like how can you come with me and don't have your business card ? How would I now be able to introduce my photographer son to all my friends ? What do you mean you don't have ?

And I was like see this man a few years earlier and it was not up to five years old . So I tell people , just give those family members six months to two years of you doing consistently and then in some cases by the time maybe the first income start coming in randomly . Just say , mommy , take this 50,000 . Use it to buy anything .

It's the money I got from this .

So how is that being ? Generally , does the story of the american prison story and you coming back to Nigeria and all of that does it in any way impede the way you connect with yourself and your photography ?

You know mistakes and sometimes some of the stories is difficult to write , for example , one of my forthcoming books . Maybe it will be out , hopefully before 2025 , 2026, . I started from a photographer's journey into woodworking and it's detailing a lot of what happened that you know got me into woodworking .

Yeah , and it's detailing a lot of what happened that you know got me into woodworking , and it's deep , emotional stuff that most people , most Nigerians , would be like ah well , you're not an American , why are you sharing ? You know all that .

Even I remember one of my aunties , one of my rich aunties , was like how can you write a book from prison to photography ? Let bygones be bygones . In fact , I think you should change the title of that book to something like how God has led me thus far . I was just laughing . I was like , ooh , we'll buy that .

Even she , when this book came out , she didn't buy two copies , only one copy at the . Maybe she'll just give me money for 20 copies . So I want to sell because it's an intriguing story .

So for me , that weight of ensuring that many people don't repeat the same mistakes I've done is a continuous wait and sometimes , you know , it leads me even into depressive . You know moments , sometimes one of my favorite characters in the Bible , apart from Job and Jeremiah , is David , because a lot of what he wrote was when he was in his down moments .

And so I feel , you know , because of the weight of ensuring that not as , and sometimes I may not be able to win a lot of people , but the few people that at least read it . Hopefully they will learn from my mistakes and not repeat it .

That has been what has , you know , kept me going , and sometimes it's painful to write this , the write-up that I told you earlier that I was going to write . Why do men keep quiet ? It's a . It's a .

It's a emotional one for me because I , you know , mention a little about what I've been going through in recent times and mention how I eventually talked to I called like seven men that , look , I want to ask for help , even if you are not going to help me .

I just wanted to be on record that I talked to you guys and it's not for you to advise me , you know , because most of them don't know what you know . You can't tell me I know what it's like . You don't know what it's like . How can you tell Daniel I know what it's like being in a lion's den ? You've not been to it , you know . So .

It's been an emotional rollercoaster , especially when you end it up with , even as recently , my dad you know me confiding in him and he's telling me put yourself together , be a man , I shouted . What does it mean ? You've not gone through what I'm going through , so don't tell me to be a man anyway .

Okay , so , because I remember when , if I had , one of the feedback I got from living mindfully was that I didn't , um , I didn't share , I didn't share the death of the things that brought me to reading mindfully , of course , I did tell stories , uh , and I was very euphemistic about how , what happened at six , how my parents responded and all of that .

And I think , just like you is , because it was just like you said , they said somebody said , uh , are you an american ? Why are you telling the story like this ? And , yeah , I , I think we are . We live in a culture of shame and guilt . Shame and guilt . It's not just shame , we live in a culture of shame and guilt .

And when I started , I remember my husband saying , when we started promoting living mindfully and we're writing on the fact that I live with bipolar affective disorder and all that , and then my husband said he would get to work and his friends when they see me until , like , oh , we know , your wife knows she conducts , we know why she talks on radio , but you

know how did you guys like ? And then he's becomes a sort of um , a connoisseur of , of depression and because he saw me go through it , one day we're gonna Hopefully he can get away from his Mike shyness . We'll sit down here and I'll sit him down and I don't know why we don't talk .

And before we started this conversation , I was saying that my concern really is that we don't give men permission to feel , and indeed all of us , and indeed all of us , you know , we even , I think two episodes ago , I was saying that we were raised to celebrate common pain and uncommon joy and that really somehow , I believe , impacts on't want you to tell the

story before you tell the story . But are you still in photography ? Yes , but not .

And if somebody is calling me for maybe an event coverage , to be honest with you , I feel my worth is nothing less than $3 million for a day's coverage . But because we've trained so many people over the years I've been instrumental in training over 3,000 people .

There's one younger guy that will cover that same event for 300,000 Naira and will do a finer job than even me , so I won't blame someone for using , you know so I'm continuously , you know navigating how I can still stand out and recently I just concluded I'm good at teaching , so I'm focusing on releasing books on maybe , photography .

Thank God it's been approved . It's approved by WIAC . Now Photography can be learned in secondary schools . Oh nice so you know , nice , not many textbooks are available so it's still a fertile ground , and the people that make the most money in the educational system are the teacher .

The authors that produce the books yeah , true , the reason why chimamanda , you know , blew so much is because her books is an approved yk , you know curriculum in literature . So that is a bigger whatever . So , uh , for me , I decided teaching

is it for me ? And then another you know aspect of photography that I stand out is what we call 360 degree photographic . I'm one of the less than a dozen people that can do it in Nigeria , that take what we call virtual tours . This room , for example .

I could take like eight pictures of this room and stitch it together and someone could view everything here and it will almost be like they were here . So those we are targeting people that have hotels , real estate , schools , those are more of my clients as compared to the average wedding or events .

Because how much does an event person want to pay you for covering you know a wedding when they know they could get 100 other people that in some cases , will like the last you know wedding , major celebrity wedding there are some photographers that will pay the celebrity . Let me pay you to cover your event , you know .

So I'm more of a 360 degree photographer wedding and more of a teacher and trying to put all my trainings in books all right , I promised I was not going to keep you long , so but that too , hopefully .

I didn't even put it up that it's my birthday . Like many people will come online and be like I just want to give god the glory . It's my birthday and I'm ready to give God the glory .

He was like I didn't even know you're this influential , you know , and he was like I didn't know you've impacted these many lives in the photography industry .

All I just knew was that this guy , when he set his mind to do something and it was just inspirational for me , and I remember making a resolution that , ah God , I no longer want to die at 83 years old .

That's extended by 12 years extra because there's still so much books to write and so much you know knowledge to share with people and so much books to read . And then I was like , no , no , let me , I can still live till 90 something years , and that's why I'm now more conscious about my health . I don't , you know , take anything .

I know it may seem fanatical sometimes , but most people that end up in hospital is because they are not conscious . I've been to a hospital where someone came for diabetes treatment and right after he's leaving the hospital , he's buying Coca-Cola . He says , ah , I'm just so thirsty , I'm like you're still drinking .

So for me there's still still so much , so much to live for so what would you tell Shion at 20 ? what would I tell Shion at 20 ? I would tell him to read as many books as possible on any venture that he's about to get into From relationships . I mean , you think you know a lady or you think you even know yourself .

You feel , ah , I've met someone , that he came to me to encourage me and eventually I was counseling him , a married man whose wife was beating him and I was like I was like you need to go and report . It was I know . No , I know myself , I can , you know , lay my hands on her . I said this woman just hit you on the chest just a few days .

I said there are many people that said that statement and they are in Kirikiri prison now and that's why I stopped my prison visitations , because it was so emotional Meeting all these people that were like , ah , I never knew I can beat a woman . It was just one beating and my wife died , you know .

So I would tell him read as many books , because I would have said , you know , attend as many workshops , but you may not have opportunities for even workshops . So read as many books on any venture If you feel , ah , I want to japa you know , read , whether books , or as much posts on the advantages and disadvantages of japa .

Don't just do it because everybody is doing it . I want to be like dangote read as many books . That shows the . I was privileged to miss on and is close to dangote was like any business venture that dangote is going into . He presents his bank three business plans .

One is the best case scenario , the second is the worst case scenario and the third case is the normal case scenario . And even the worst case scenario , he still makes money , you know . So read as many , because a lot of the mistakes we make is because we assume that . Oh no , my own is different .

You know everybody is going , you know in this direction and they are coming back . You know , maimed , you feel no , no , if I go there , what if you read and find out what broke your hand ? Okay , let me , you know , be prepared so that I wouldn't .

I think that would have helped me avoid so many of the mistakes that I ventured into and many of the life mistakes I got into , if you ask me , many of it was not . It had nothing to do with devil . So just because we are from a part of the world where small things , they will say ah , it's because you are the first born .

But since you've gone there , because I was your first child , so I understand exactly exactly what you're saying , because I can imagine people around you saying , ah , the first child of this is of mr akison , you see how it has turned out , and then your younger ones , and so I , I didn't want to go , I didn't , I didn't want to go there .

So what would you say to someone who's made and I think hopefully this is the last question who's made the same mistakes that you believe you've made , because personally I don't call them mistakes , just life's , just life's posters , and you're living transitions . You had , you what's the word now ? The capacity of your hunger was not guided the capacity if you had .

That's that's why I went , that's why I asked the question about modeling . Um , if you had , if I had some things I had done in my life , if I had a relationship with my parents , if I had not been shut down when I was younger and I was , in fact , my mother , my mother said it to towards the end of her life .

She said if I had embraced you early , both of us would have been better for it . She said this .

Unfortunately , a week later she died and I believe that strongly that if we it all boils down to parenting , we're not saying this is what you should do as against looking at the manual , taking time to look at the manual , spiritual manual the student brought in and you can help them .

So if you were going to speak to someone who believes they're in the middle of mistakes , what would you say to them ?

I feel the single most important advice that I would say is be deliberate and intentional about making friends with people that are at least two decades older than you and are wise . You know , someone can be 20 years older than you and they are foolish Most of the time . When you hear wisdom speak , most of the time it doesn't agree with what you believe .

For example , if you see a child that is you know , sees a candle with fire burning , he wants to touch it and the mom is like , don't touch that fire . The child may feel , ah , mommy doesn't love me . You know , a mom is telling the daughter don't have sex before marriage . The daughter is feeling so .

In fact , when you have people supporting you all the time with what you want to do , there's a good chance that you're about to err , and most of the time there are people that are your age . You know mates .

So I find it significantly important to deliberately make friends with people that ideally , it could probably end up being just one person that you know you could find , that are 20 years older than you and that you could .

When you are sitting on that wisdom , you will know that , ah , this is , this is wisdom , and in most cases you may actually not be able to meet them one-on-one . That is why we have social media

. I have one of my mentors in woodworking . Now I have two , three . One is a almost 70-year-old man . He's an American . Another is probably over 70 . He's based in China . I know that guy is in Iran . So they are all over the world and I'm learning from them and sometimes they share a 90-second video .

That's you know , the process of how they made the table that by the time , I'm making the same table and my colleagues are seeing me . Someone still sent me a message this morning , mr Shen . He's been in the woodworking industry before I got here . He was like what type of polish did he use in you know that wood ?

And I'm like maybe I just started , but because I'm learning from the wisdom of these older people . So I tell people , be intentional about making friends with people that are two decades older than you and wiser , and don't be too quick to listen to advice from your fellow colleagues .

What would you be advising ? What would you be saying ?

Who says that the real education couldn't have started from when he was in , maybe primary one , and by the time he's even finishing secondary school ?

There's a , there's a guy , I know that , uh , the , the guy is 22 , he has avoided university for a while and the dad was like I know , shen , we must you might have made him do jam and this guy spent two weeks working with me . And I'm telling the dad this guy is not built for four years university .

If he started that four years and I'm saying it on air now he probably won't graduate . If he graduates , he will graduate as an unfulfilled man , because this guy is an entrepreneur to the core . The best you can do is find maybe a one year or 18 months , you know school , yeah , so realize . Question every who says that he must have a phd .

One time my mom was there that thing which I didn't do . You have a phd in jesus name . I'm not an academic person yeah I've never , in fact since primary one , I've been failing since the foundation of the world , carrying the whole you know class . I can read the textbook and Failed the exam in exam class . But in real life , our past you know .

So question everything and give your child a Customized template . If you see your child , you know Everyone is saying , ah , this guy is quick to destroy every electronics in their home . Maybe he's an engineer , you understand . To you you are saying the bad weather is destroying . Study it and look at it from a different point . He's talking , you know .

Sometimes people tell me Mr Chow , am I talking too much ? I say too much , you are talking a lot . It doesn't mean it's too much , so it could be along your passion . Maybe you are the next , uh , I'm on poor or whatever . So if you are talking a lot , I'll know that this guy may be a good lawyer or good , you know , broadcaster .

So question everything and have an open mind to have a customized template for that your child . If you are now comparing your child , like you know , one time my parents did comparing me , the second born , the one after me , is the most , you know , intelligent when it comes to academics .

In fact , uh , at one point in secondary school she came , she went from first to third and I went from maybe 40 , 42nd position to 35 . And my body and my true life story . And my dad scolded her . I was like , why can't you be like your brother ? That improved and I see this funny dad .

Meanwhile , till today my dad didn't know that that particular term was the term that I copied the most . I dubbed you know , and they were comparing us . Meanwhile they didn't know that I plagiarized , you know . And they were comparing us . They didn't know that I plagiarized , you know , first class plagiarism . So if you realize that every child is is different .

If I have a daughter the younger one that I went to a open day one day four years ago she was maybe seven and one of the subjects I know she's not academically inclined . I saw that she got 10 , 10 . I said how come you got 10 , 10 and we are so open ? She was like ah , daddy , don't mind , is that my teacher ?

He's the one that wrote all the answers for me and I just laughed . But some parents will be like , ah , 1010 , I'm so proud of you and you know me . I know that she's not a 1010 person in academics , you know . I know that she's musically inclined and you know I'll help her in that area . So be open-minded , have a custom template .

Your child can finish just as three and be the one that will start the next Facebook . You now realize how to groom and you know , give him or her the right mentors and the world will be , better for that .

Thank you so much , and thank you for going through that traffic to be here . Appreciate it and I wish you all the best .

Someone has contacted us from Malaysia and they ordered from there Australia too , so just order online and if it's on Kindle , please do that .

It's a socio- , economical , spiritual , everything story and he is if you think he was funny on this forecast , no , like I said , he reads more interesting and he's talking interesting , and he's talking like he's not doing like , well , let's say that I do not catch it , but on paper it's so different . Thank you so much . Uh , of course , live in mindfully .

Uh , you can get on amazon and you can also get on roger knights . Uh , just follow the link . I will add the link to getting , uh , breezing from prison to photography , from Prison to Photography , onto the description of the show . Love yourself , love your neighbour , love your country . Well , if you're Nigerian , love Nigeria above all of this . Love God .

He is the essence of your being . Until next time , please stay curious . I am Oluwatumise Ola Dako . Thank you so much .