Embolden Your Choices Ft. Miss Angelica Ross

black woman in my mind. But they said hadn't have a good day on purpose, make it a point to do that. Because I used to have this tendency to turn like a bad moment into a bad day. And really like simmer in that. And I liked the aspect of you sharing starting off with I'm doing this on purpose because it is it is you can still be present and and be aware of all the things happening in the world and still make it a point to be purposeful in the energy that you're putting out to. So I

love. Love that. So I want to talk about advocacy. I want to talk about trans tech. So I just wanted to start off with talking about what is your relationship with therapy? I have a I have a growing relationship with therapy. And the reason why I say growing is because I'm paying for therapy that I'm not exactly using as much as I probably should be like I pay for talkspace. And what I love

about like the talkspace is that it's it's at my fingertips. The issue sometimes is that I my life gets so out of control, schedule wise that I have a heart and this is actually my thing. I think my thing that I'm working on right now is learning Dr. Raquel Martin: that mind your mental is not just a podcast, it is also a amazing community. If I do say so myself. It's phenomenal. I mean, you get more access to me what

more could you want in this life. So if you want to join the community, if you're not already on the community, go to my social media. My social media is the same Raquel Martin, PhD and DM me the word community so you can get details on joining this amazing flipping community, you get more access to me all like I'm gonna delights. All right. All right, hope to see you there, learning how to reach out. And so what I love is great about what the virtual stuff is. It really is up to me

to reach out and on. They do send messages, but it's your phone. It's like a notification like anything else. So I can ignore it. But I am working on having a more consistent relationship with therapy. But I will say for me, it's not that I

say that I don't need therapy. But it is a situation where because I use my Buddhist practice as a daily sort of spiritual mental check in and very much clarifying like, before, spirituality was something else before it was something I believed in you believed in I have faith in or whatever. But through this practice and being able to look at myself in the mirror every day. And even when I'm not practicing. It is this thing where I can't shut it off. So I

know that I'm not looking in the mirror. And this is something that is telling me why you're not looking you haven't been looking in this mirror. And so it reflects to me sometimes when I'm being avoidant, and when I'm doing certain things so I'm extremely conscious around a lot of things that I do, but I need to definitely strengthen my relationship with therapy because I'm struggling with this on treated. ADH D. I have talked

about this with my therapist. We have sort of like diagnosed in the area of that and I've even tried the medication, different versions of the medication and my experience was that I had a very good experience, but it to some Unlike me, who's maybe hard on themselves, or just whatever, I just couldn't understand why I was so functional with this drug, and couldn't have that kind of clarity without it. And what was insane for me is that so I've been working off medication for years to try to

get to the place that I think that medication gets me to. I have not been successful. I my ADHD definitely still exhausts me. But it does from day to day feel like a interesting adventure, where if I'm just super conscious, I can see it working and how my attention is trying to pull me in different directions. Or if I'm really focusing in on something that why am I focusing on stacking these pennies or whatever it is that I might be doing, that's not important in that moment,

with more awareness, I'm able to address it. But I think I'm getting to a place where I might want to have some assistance with medication. But you know, I it for me, it's a it's not a fast and hard situation is very much a conversation that I'm open to. Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah, and it's tough right now, because the the one of the primary medications for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is Vyvanse. And there's a shortage. And a lot of people, a lot of the people I follow on

social media are clinicians. And a good chunk of them have ADHD. And they're talking about it from the perspective of talking

to their patients, about dealing with the shortage. And the fact that they just like, again, I'm also able to struggle with my getting my own medication, like changing their caseload for the day because I genuinely cannot be present as yours like, like your psychologist, because like, my without the medication, I gotta tap on it too, or I'm not going to be able to be rising.

So it's so interesting to see it not only from the aspect of being a clinician, but most of the clinicians I know have ADHD. So they're struggling with it. As for their clients, like I'm trying to get my client to hook up, I'm trying to get my own hook up because there's a shortage right now. I've gone from the more intense when they really were figuring out the medication to things like I think it was like Concerta is one that I was doing at one

point. And it's just so odd for me because I don't know what to do with my mixed feelings of like, how I really felt amazing on the medication because I was getting things done in a way that just, it's so interesting, because when we talk about in this country medication and therapy and things like that, I'm really as I use my platform to advocate for various things, one of the things that I'm trying to do is be more

transparent about my own mental health journey. Because I hate that so many people are criminalized for trying to self medicate, or trying to find their way, their own balance to these things, especially when the biggest gang that we have to face is the pharmaceutical industry, and the prices that we have to pay for to have access to all of these things. So one thing that I learned through my own medication journey was that as someone who smoking weed, I thought was something that

address my anxiety, which it did and does in certain ways. But what I found out was I was treating layers of things. So it was like, I actually didn't really have anxiety, it's the ADHD, because when I am actually handling things in a way that doesn't make me feel bad about the fact that I am all over the place. And I have this kind of organization when I was on the

medication, I had zero anxiety. And I almost did not even want to smoke weed because it like slow me down like like just did not vibe with where I was wanting to place my attention. Whereas with just access access to marijuana is something I use to slow down my brain so that I can catch the train a little easier that I'm that I'm dealing with. So for me, I would love for our country to across the board decriminalize all drugs, first of all, because I think that all of it is a health

issue, medical issue and not a criminal issue. But especially when it comes to marijuana and things like that, where mostly white people are standing the chance to get rich and build businesses off of while black bodies are still locked up for it. I'd like to see our economy, our corner, kind of sewers, taking up places in the market and being able to really tell folks from glaucoma to anxiety to eating appetite issues of what exactly they might need and how to how to use it. So I'm

still struggling with that. But as I struggle I want to be transparent so that I can almost model what it looks like to just figure it out on your own but not be criminalized for it. Try not to be criminalized

Dr. Raquel Martin: for it. Yeah, I don't think enough people talk about the cultural aspect of the way that substances are looked at like People talk about to a certain extent, but I don't even think we were talking and discussing it enough in terms of not only crime, like not even crime, not only in terms of policing individuals, but also in terms of the financial aspect, right, because I always feel as though hundreds of 1000s of black and brown bodies are in jail for weed, while hundreds of

1000s of European American bodies are getting rich off of THC. And or the aspect of people really denying the indigenous the indigenous process of using hallucinogens that used to be something that people would legit get hospitalized for, or criminalized for. And now we have documentaries on it on Netflix, and now people are like, Oh, I took my journey and

it now it's it's doing that whole culture and read. And I don't think people even like mushrooms now you're seeing that it's getting so commercialized in a way where white people are really getting in Dr. Raquel Martin: and getting money off. That's the thing that cracks me up. It's all well okay, so someone so my brother over here is in jail for weed but we but now we can get make money i edibles Oh, individuals who this is indigenous to their

culture and heritage, this is who they are. They're getting told that they're drug addicts. They need to be dealing with substance abuse. But now they're having documentaries about the utility of it. You have authors and stuff talking about it. And I'm like, this is just another example of monetizing off of another cultures history. Also, it doesn't even address the aspect of the pain that it's caused this community cultural practices that always cracks me up. Oh, yeah. You getting rich

off of THC. I would love to talk about the people who are in jail for weed though. I mean, I would love to Yeah. When I saw John Boehner when I saw Republican speak, former Speaker of the House, John Boehner, leave his position and get into investing in marijuana, medical marijuana. I'm like, yo, What are y'all really doing? What are we really

doing here? Yeah, I feel like but you know, like I said, I have released myself part of what's really helpful for my mental health is I've really released myself from being beholden to the systems that were really weren't built with

me in mind in the first place. So especially as a trans person, when I went to changing my name on my legal documents on my ID and things, or it wasn't even my name, when I first wants to change my gender marker, from male to female, I was so nervous about just checking that box because of the language around fraud when you're doing this. And then I literally said to myself, Angelica, you are not a fraud. The system is a fraud.

And literally, I just repeat that self to that to myself. And that's when I realized that I am justified in taking the actions and navigating things the way that I have to navigate them, because in an anti trans anti black society, what do I have, but to make it Dr. Raquel Martin: anti woman? Yeah, anti. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. That Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah, I, I love the fact that you mentioned the aspect of it being justified because for many of my patients who are having difficulty acknowledging their emotions to themselves, because they don't feel like they have the right to feel that way. I'm like I want every time you say, an emotion I want you to put justified in front of it. Because I need you to tell yourself that this isn't a you feel overwhelmed, because

this is overwhelming. You feel upset? Because you have you have an unjustified reaction to this environment, even when it comes to this whole aspect of imposter phenomenon. I'm just like, why wants you to be aware? Like, yes, I have a name for it, but also realize that it's, I want you to put the onus on the environment. Because it's not that what's wrong with me that I don't feel like I belong. It's what is going on in this environment that is doing everything in its power overtly

and covertly to make me feel like I am an impostor. So when you even talk about that, like people talk about what's they'll put it on themselves, and I'm like, Oh, I feel like you're having a justified reaction to an oppressive environment. So when you say justify a reaction to an oppressive environment, do you think you need to change or you think you need to address the environment, the environment, right? That's when

people talk about stuff like that? I'm like, alright, well, alright, let me I'm gonna, we're gonna frame this though, because it's just you're in an environment that overtly and covertly gives you messages that you don't belong in. In order to be able to seen as human or professional, you need to align yourself with these European American patriarchal standards.

Why would you ever feel like you belong in that environment? Like you tell me why you would feel like well, a lot of it has to do with the fact that we have grown up in a world that has allowed religion to claim dominion over

definition. Like literally all definitions of love, definitions of spirituality, definitions of holy have not holy, have sanctified of moral and unmoral of valid or not valid a valuable and and valuable of sinful and not sinful, of devilish and all these different things and has created such In a world of confusion for folks, where Jesus talks about in one passage, look at the field of lilies and how they grow. And basically, that they're not worried about all these other things that they

just are what they are, and they grow. And so in Buddhism, what thankfully I was able to discover was, it's impossible, absolutely impossible for me to be an imposter of me. I don't experience impostor syndrome, because I know that there's only one Angelica Ra. Yeah. So what I do know is that when they call for Angelica Ross, I'm her I am she, I have an I have worked my entire life at being competent, and who I am. And so this world in our society worked so hard, it's still in your competence.

And it's mostly through marketing, because through capitalism, they need to tell you that your life doesn't feel complete. Without this washer and dryer, your life doesn't feel complete. Without these beauty products, it would be

better it would be more valuable if you had these things. And what I love in the world of 10,000 things in the world of all the phenomena is I teach people how to anchor themselves and exactly who they are, and start to create a curriculum that brings them fully into their own understanding, and then be able to play because, look, I know that the light hits me a certain way. When my blonde hair when I got the blonde way

ago, right? But you've seen me you've been on my podcast, you see me all across this internet with no makeup on with no wig, go with a scarf on with all kinds of things. And I be I am beaming from the inside out. And that's because I know that none of these things carry with them. I value that I am the Czech I am the value. And I just wish that more people were brought up to believe that about themselves regardless of how they identify.

I Dr. Raquel Martin: truly love that because I told you before my dad is Buddhist. My mom is Christian love that. Yeah. And I feel like growing up in that house, my parents have grown up in that house. Like I've always seen things differently. And even when I'm experiencing a stressor, I'm talking to my mom, I'm talking to my dad, the epitome of like, my household is my dad will be like, Oh, I'll chant for you. And my mom will be like, I'll pray for you. And either way, like all of that

positive energy is coming to me. Yeah, I'm good. Like, I'm good. Either way, right? So they got you. They got me. Oh, my, that'll be like, I'm actually headed to a meeting now. We don't. So great. But like, that's hard when people are when they when they look. And it's why I've always looked at like spirituality and religion differently. This is why I grew up with two parents who loved me dearly. And let me tell you some, they have a running joke. This is a running joke in my

house. Where if my mom, my dad is good, I'm not gonna do this. My mom will joke will be like, alright, well, I'll do so. And so when you say the prayer at dinner, okay? When you decide to say the prayer at dinner, that's what I'm gonna go through, which is basically saying it's not happening. Because the same way you do not about to say no prayer at this table is the same way. I'm not about to cute. I'm not about to clean that grill.

You understand me? It's just so funny. I'd be like, well, that's a no, that's just that's my mom's way of saying no. And I'll say no, yeah. Okay. Well, when Sunday dinner comes, you want to you want to say the prayer or not, it's not going to happen. So clean the grill. I think it's just but when I when I look at it in terms of spirituality and Christianity and stuff I grew up when people say even little things like the love being acceptance. And I'm like, Well, my love isn't accepting. It

isn't like acceptance and celebration. Like my parents and my mom is listening Sunday. It's just another day to go to church. This is not like, oh, well, this is just your mom's all through the week, honey. Well, I love being bedside Baptist. So I'm just saying Rock Hill. I just think I just have a prayer and I'm like, You should. But you know, like, I grew up in a house with just my parents love each other and they know enough about each other and they understand that this is who they

are. And it's not about acceptance. It's about celebration. So even when people say stuff like wow, I'll accept that and I'm like, I don't even like that. And we don't really I don't really like that because Dr. Raquel Martin: I can have somebody on the street except me people who love me celebrate exactly like I don't need you in my close personal proximity just Dr. Raquel Martin: accept me you know what I'm saying? So yeah, I love tolerance is not needed. Because it is tolerance, right?

Like it's when people say the aspect of acceptance. I'm like, I don't it's actually the other way around. You better be lucky. I'm talking because it's tolerance. You me lucky. I'm tolerating the ignorance and to be honest, as as a Buddhist I have to constantly remind myself to make room there. There are many times that I just want to close myself off From all the foolishness and all the ignorant, folks and whatnot, and I know that that's also closing me off from opportunities to

show up as a Buddhist in these spaces. So I'm working on it. But I still right now I am going to be introducing a new thing on my podcast, basically redefining celebrity where we do a segment where we talk about whether we're blocking, or whether we're celebrating a certain celebrity. Because in my Buddhist practice, we have something called the mystic law. And there's this

saying, to become a celebrity of the mystic law. And basically, what the mystic law is, is just saying that no matter who you are, what kind of life condition you have, that you can become happy, you can develop a life state that is elevated and enlightened and happy. And so what it means to become a celebrity of that is that you become known far and wide from your life story of how you overcame challenges and did

certain things and created value in your environment. And so these are the things that we celebrate, not folks that we feel like we have to call Child Protective Services on because they have inappropriate strippers and things like that dancing on their babies, and like being homophobic with children who don't even know anything about sexuality, yet, I'm talking about that rapper blue face or one of them, right.

That was that was doing what he was doing at that one time. And so I think right now, the people are in a place where they want to, they feel powerless. And we've been in a system that has been really tricking people out of their power really is what it is because we are more powerful, because we actually do control a

lot of what's happening with our viewership. If we turn off the TV, all of a sudden, there's going to be an issue the ratings are there's Dr. Raquel Martin: so much power in and I find that like my students, I would remind my students, I mean, anytime someone takes a class with me, I'm like, Just a heads up, the activism is implied. I know you thought like in everything. And I'm like, Don't let anyone trick you all the thinking that

because you're younger, you don't have a voice. Y'all have more days ahead of you than the people who are telling you that you have nothing to say. And I always say don't let people you're an agent of change. Like I was I would even give the example on tick tock, I'm like, Do you know how much you guys is

little app has changed the trajectory of what is done. I'm like, Don't let anyone anyone who's tried to tell you that y'all are not powerful is a deadline, if anything, they let you know that you are powerful, like I tried to tell them all the time, because I feel like the most marginalized communities, like black people and children, and don't let you be a black child, that they're going to oppress the in them just like they always make it like, oh, well, what are we

going to do, you can do whatever you everything. So that's why everything else is a distraction, where, you know, again, and this is where I want to point out for folks distractions are for the easily distracted. So a distraction is not necessarily in and of itself a bad thing. Because me myself, I need a distraction here or there. Because because I am bearing witness to all of the genocides that are happening around the world. I'm taking a

wide, open, look, sobering look at what is going on. And I'm allowing myself to feel it. But I live again in a practice that says suffer what there is to suffer, and enjoy what there is to enjoy. And so when it comes to a distraction, whether it's a Beyonce album, or whether it's whatever else, for me, I have this kind of interesting relationships with folks like

that, who are who are that powerful. But Beyonce is the type of artists that because she focuses focuses so much on her art, it is like no one else it does reach in and empower the activists empowers us in so many ways. But she herself is not an activist. She herself is not using her platform or her power, to call for anything to change anything in any countries or whatever, whatever the case is. And so I think that when it's in the conversation of society, I think there's plenty of room for

critique and all of these different things. But when we talk about balance when we talk about grace, when we talk about the fact that any movement is a relay, that between generations and and between sometimes communities and so with the relay comes rest. And so there is this kind of cadence for me, that goes between activism and rest, education and community, music and dancing spiritual, it's all of the things but what I will say is for those who need to be distracted 24/7 You are

definitely a part of the problem. That's just my opinion. I Dr. Raquel Martin: when I talk to when I've talked previously about substance use, and I'm more of an advocate for harm reduction, but when I I remember talking to one of my friends and she had mentioned that she's feeling so she's been growing apart from one of her people that she's really close with. And she was like, there, they always have to be on some kind

of substance, like we can never just hang. There always has to be like a substance of love always has to be like, this, this big distractor. And I was like, Oh, it sounds like from what you're sharing with me. This isn't session. Sounds like what you're sharing with me. They're, they're living off of these numbing behaviors. And she's like, what, what do you mean? And I'm like, well, a lot of people talk about fight or flight when it comes to stressors, but there's also

freeze. And freeze doesn't have to it's not solely physically freezing, it is for some people, but it's also engaging in numbing behaviors, and that's going to be anything that takes you out of the reality that you're experiencing. Right? So it's like substance use or incredibly risky behaviors, or consistent like video game use and you you feel like you can't

operate outside of it. And these are numbing behaviors. And when you mentioned like someone needing to distraction 24/7 That's it That in itself is one of the stress responses so what are your What are you running away from what are you what is the you have to numb the pain or the survives only all the time? It's just but that's not even life like you're running from? So yeah, when people have to be distracted all the time, and

people are like, Oh, they just like the party. I'm like, it's it's 7am on a Tuesday Oh, what are we what what's happening let's say your life listen to each person live your life do you but but you know, here's here's where I like really start to want to have a little bit more accountability is everybody can do whatever they want to do.

But when you step into the ring of representation be it political be it organizational, be it like a community leaders different things like that, like you can't be claiming to lead spaces and do certain things if you're not willing to do the work to make sure that you're coming to the to the collective healthy like that you are doing your individual work to come

into the collective with clarity instead of more confusion. But I think that we have so many people just because they have a dangling through between the legs that they think that God has ordained them to lead it's like they dangling point point in the direction and it's no baby is pointing us in the wrong

direction you take it as in a wrong direction. And if you do not do the work that allows you to be the kind of leader that looks at not just our children but our neighborhoods children as ours as as at least as community as as ways in which we can respond to those certain things. And I just I like I said, you just chillin on the you just chillin you don't want to have no accountability to nothing. You're not trying to you're just gonna get your 401k working at Amazon or doing

whatever it is that you're doing. You're not trying to engage bah, bah, bah, do you? You know, I'm saying if that's the best that you think that you can have. But I believe that all of us can engage on a different level. And I just and I just think that it starts with not selling ourselves daily fantasies about being comfortable. Like life is not supposed to be comfortable all the time. Yeah.

Dr. Raquel Martin: And I think people when we're having conversations with people who people are feeling hopelessness, people are feeling exhausted, people are feeling powerless. And I think anybody can engage I think you just have to find a way that works for you like everything isn't, I'm not you can do a you can do a March they are ARTivist you can do you can

you can vote with your feet have not watched it. Like with what you mentioned, viewership, you can have things that you don't listen to, or that you tune into more, you can share something, you can create a petition, you can go on the hill, you can write a book, there's so many different ways. And when people state that they don't find that they find that there's no way to when they feel like there's no purpose of engaging, I find that they just two things. One, I feel like it's exhausting. And

it's a very tough feeling. I think sometimes it involves grief, just knowing how much you don't know or finding out what every time you do know something, it's worse than you expected. So there's grief in that and then you feel powerless, but I always say we'll take well, what do you want to do next? There's grief in so many different aspects. It's okay, I feel, I as soon as I hear all of these terrible

things, I feel immobilized. Like I feel overwhelmed with all of these all, but I think that I think that that's an extension to what's it's an extension and a reflection into what the reality

is in their own lives. So I think that it's hard to come to these world issues like the things that are happening in other places and try to grasp and understanding and it's because they're not, they're not aware in which in the ways in which systemically black communities are experiencing bias, systemic violence, they're so just insane ways that they don't care about the kids in in in the Congo, or in Gaza. They don't care about them kids in Chicago or Detroit or anything.

These other places they don't have clean drinking water still in Detroit Steel, they still don't have we still don't have appropriate schooling. We don't have the appropriate health care. Mortality rates are high for black women, when we're giving birth. There's a real zoom there. So there are so many situations where the ways in which America enforces its imperialist violence on the rest of the world, is the same ways in which we are experiencing it here. And so many people feel

like they don't have a choice like they're helpless. Well, y'all, we got these two people to vote for what else is we gonna do? And listen, I'm not trying to start nothing up right now. But what I'm saying is, listen to that, listen, listen. You only well, you're you only have two choices. These are our two choices, one that's currently in court for all kinds of criminal cases. And another who is saying, I don't care what you're saying, I'm sending your tax dollars over to war, and not

to help our own country. And we're being told, so this is the choices y'all got. And the people are being like, Well, man, I guess you right? We only got these two choices. Listen, I just want y'all to hear that. I'm not even going to push hard on it. I just want you to hear, I just want you to hear this, that we the people believe we have no choice. And that's not a good place for democracy to Dr. Raquel Martin: be. No.

I remember. So we gotta wait. I think we can address it in a way that just does not feel defeated and gives up to the status quo. I think it's time for us to flex our power as the feet and it Dr. Raquel Martin: is a powerlessness, right, it's it, I always think of there is I feel like there was this meme or something. But it's like when you have so many things to do on your list. And instead of doing them, you sit down and you take

a nap. I feel like a lot of times when I'm listening to people, it's just they feel like they have so many problems, or there's so many things that are an issue. So instead of addressing deciding to address one, they decide to address nine. And just like you like what you mentioned, like it's powerlessness, right, like that whole aspect of, well, we have no other choice. That's the epitome of powerlessness. That's it, that's what that is feeling. I have no choice, my power has

been taken from me, right? That's not democracy. It's just not. That's not what it is. Not what it is. And it's and it's also just again, a reflection of our of how you feel in your own life of how much choice you feel like you have in your own life, as a

trans person, as a non binary person. And as a black person, I have been in an ongoing, I've been in an ongoing development of my relationship, to my understanding of my own personal choice of my own personal power, to say, actually, I don't have to deal with this, actually, I can remove myself from this, I can move to another state, I can do another job, I can change careers. And so again, when someone sees someone like me leave Hollywood, and what that seems like the dream come true

for folks. They're not understanding someone that is fully operating in their own personal power and value that says that, that check that Chuck think that they was given me. That's not even my highest purpose value. situation, I can be more make more do more outside of Hollywood. So if they're not going to be respectful of who I am, and my value and what I bring to the table, because I work and I work hard, and I come prepared. So I'm not looking for any

handouts. I'm not looking for anybody to treat me like a princess on onset and different things or anything that I'm involved in. And do I show up fully for Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah, I mean, you deciding to retire I think. I think that hits a lot of people. I'm not retired, retired, I retired leaving how I got because I got a couple of movies that are actually where I'm working on right now. I'm

filming a movie in September. I can't talk about who I am. But it's a major cast that's in it. I'm filming and then I'm also starring in a movie that I can't talk about. Very soon I'll be able to talk about these things. And then what I love about what's happening is people are going to be able to see that I'm

doing things on my turn. Yeah, I'm working with people who understand exactly what I mean, who don't have to guess what I'm talking about horror who don't feel slighted when I am advocating for equality at all intersections, whether that is confronting patriarchy and misogyny or whether that is confronting anti blackness or whether that's confronting any of the things, I'm not a party pooper to the people I'm working with, they love knowing that I have a perspective that is going

to help us see things a little bit more clearly if we don't already. Okay, Dr. Raquel Martin: good, because when you were even when I saw I saw at least two articles on Angelica Ross, I should leave in Hollywood, I was like, what? Yeah, and I kept trying to go back and with these journalists, and even clarify, and I kept saying in the, in the interviews with them, I was like, please, communicate that I'm telling you that Hollywood as a concept, as a archetype is

sick. I wonder and Dr. Raquel Martin: how your needs hero there because like, it doesn't see things that's happening with Diddy, Diddy, and Cassie. But those are not unique stories. Yeah, it's so much going on. And there's, in order to get to a certain level, you got to be the type of person who's willing to look the other way. You got to be the type of person that's willing to be mums the word or just be like, well, that's not my business, or that

don't got nothing to do with me, and blah, blah, blah. And it's a lot of people like that. And once I started finding that out, I just actually started separating myself from folks, I don't need to be associated with folks just because just because so I can name drop, no, thank you. And what I realized is that there are a lot of celebrities who want to use my name to name drop so that they can seem like they in the know when it comes

to various things of activism. But unless they're willing to do the work and being real community with me, I'm calling BS I'm calling I'm calling them out on their performative pneus of wanting to be in associated with things and not really being getting mixed up with it and getting in the mix with us. Yeah, Dr. Raquel Martin: I appreciate the calling out of that I, personally, but I can't let you go without talking about trans tech, because I really, really, really wants like more on this.

But trans Tech is a nonprofit organization of tech professionals dedicated to providing resources and access to the LGBTQ plus community through job training, workshops, programs and events. And I think the coolest thing about this is that your journey with coding was self taught. Like after being given the opportunity to run a website, you taught yourself how to code. That is insane to me. It really is not it's not as much of a feat as it sounds like.

Dr. Raquel Martin: No, okay, hold on now. Okay. Let's just take a second. No, I'm not we're not doing that. That is a feat. Okay, so first of all the learnings, I think the same way, I think creating something out of nothing, your artistry is a feat, teaching yourself anything, is a feat. So I'm having I'm gonna have to cut that off right there. So yeah, it is.

So what I will say is the reason why I don't see it that way as much is because when it comes to coding, when I realized that it was just a language, so it's like Spanish, English, anything else, it's a language. And so you once you learn pieces of the language and know like how to use a verb or how to use this, then it just becomes super simple. So like

with things like CSS, I keep doing it. With with things like CSS, you when you realize that there's a six digit number code that is associated with colors, then you're like, oh, okay, so six zeros is black, and six F's is white. And so then you you start to learn various things in between them. I can't tell you the colors just by Dr. Raquel Martin: I already. Don't say it's not a language. Oh, yeah, everything's a different language. I don't speak I'm not a polyglot.

So like, when you know that you got to create a bracket to start that conversation. So I'm like, Okay, I'll create a bracket. And I'll do like IMG, src, which is basically image source equals to go to an image, well, okay, then I'm gonna copy that link to that image. And I can put it into HTML to make it show up somewhere without me actually having to upload the

image somewhere. So I realized when I started talking about these sometimes maybe it is a little bit Dr. Raquel Martin: I was waiting for you to start to be like and yaki I believe she tried to act like this wasn't a how many of us are just like, right, right? Well, HTML, I'm not explaining it well, but like HTML and CSS are really simple, easy languages to learn. And so what I did was, I went to it was called lynda.com at the time, but they got bought out by first I think it was Microsoft, and

then LinkedIn. So now it's called LinkedIn learning. So all of those videos that are on LinkedIn, I started there doing HTML, CSS, and I just taught myself how to do that. And for me what the lucky thing was, and I just have to address this not that but I'm just gonna say it anyway, within community.

Sometimes there's very much like a crabs in a barrel or a scarcity mindset when it comes to things and so I've had to deal with challenges and deal with people in community who have who have tried to cook accuse me of CO opting or stealing their ideas when it comes to trans tech. And I won't call that say that specific person or specific organization.

But what I will say is, is that we have such an experience that people we don't know each other we don't know our community well enough to validate the experiences that people have outside of community and outside of each other. We didn't always know each other. We weren't in always connected with each other. So I didn't know you. I didn't know about your organization, when I was taking off my clothes for the internet.

I didn't know you then when I was learning to then stop taking my clothes off, and to learn to run the website so that I could stop doing sex work and do the tech part first. Then I had an aha moment when I said, Oh, I ran a business called mizen studios. And at first I called it I spelled in my am AIZE in studios, and it was loosely like a spin off off this Japanese were Kaizen KAIZ en, which means continual growth. And so I started this company mizen studios, and I ran it for 10

years. And I used I did graphic design for Cedric the Entertainer, for ludicrous for various folks. And they never knew who I was never knew I was trans. But I designed their backstage passes, I did website work for companies in London, and all these different places. And what I realized was, I could work and make money without people needing to know that I was trans or needed to know much about me. And so I had done a

lot of community work for a while. And I had got a job as somebody sent me a job listing to be an Employment Coordinator for the trans Life Center in Chicago, this was back in 2012 2011 2012 2011, was when I interviewed. And so I then help them develop a job development program, helping people who were coming out of incarceration, dealing with being newly diagnosed with HIV, and various things with helping them find employment, learning how to do resumes, talking about basic

things. But what I realized with the organization I was working with, they were like, farming people into restaurant work, where they could get them like a safety and sanitation slices or something that they could go work in a kitchen. And I was trying to say, Well, hey, I come from doing web work, and whatever, I think we could teach them tech skills. And the company that I was working for said that that was over the heads of the people that we were serving that they wouldn't be

able to understand. And I felt like that they were under estimating. And so I basically use that job to still try to teach my company tech skills. I was bringing computers to work that were unauthorized, they were taking my computers from me, I was doing programming where I was zooming and Skyping in Laverne Cox and Gina Rosero, to these homeless folks and folks who are transient is to be able to see trans people and other people doing other things. And I was met with so much

resistance. That is why I end up quitting that job and and basically starting trans tech from scratch. But what I was doing, and everybody kept telling me, Well, I don't understand your business model. I don't know what you mean. And so for the longest time, I was trying to make people understand that I was trying to create something that mimicked the

beauty school model because I went to Beauty School. And what I learned there was that people were willing to pay for perms or relaxes or get their hair done at a cheaper rate knowing that they were working with people who were still learning. And so I tried to create an environment where people were building websites or doing graphic design or doing different things at a discounted rates. But the clients knew that these were not only trans people and queer people that they were hiring,

but also people who were still learning. And so I this all came out of me trying to get out of sex work myself, finding a solution for myself, that then ended up working for me, that ended up working for me. And then me trying to turn that into a blueprint to work for other people and to say, Hey, you don't even need to do coding. You can be a beauty influencer on YouTube. As long as you talk. Let's talk about social media monetization. Let's talk about cameras and lights. Let's talk

about product reviews. Let's talk about the what is underneath the hood of being that kind of beauty influencer and the technology that you need that will be the catalyst for that. But coding is not everything. When I say tech, matter of fact, you can be a part of a whole tech company and not even know nothing about tech, but you know something

about project management. So for me, it was about illuminating my own path that ended up illuminating the path for others and unfortunately doing that people tried to constantly either take time for me or tell me that this their folks have not supported me or it might be that big So the way I look and I have since assumed privilege, I have various privileges, folks

think that I haven't struggled for what I have built. And because I am Buddhist, because I have now gotten beyond my ego in certain ways, certain ways, not Dr. Raquel Martin: all of I know that. Not all of them. So don't catch me on the wrong day. But I've gotten past it to a place where I actually have started to really embrace those who have misunderstood me and especially those and community who have got me wrong, who got

me effed up in the first place. And I'm at least still leaving the door open for them to finally realize that I've been consistent. I've been exactly who I said I am when it comes to trans Tech, I have not had a pay day. From that. We finally have a an executive director who have been who has been running transect for the past three years now, and I think has been

and they are salaried. They are paid to do the job. But over the 14 years that we've 15 years now, 14 years that we've been doing, excuse me, 10 years, we had our 10 year anniversary with trans Tech because it was 2014 to 2024. But that whole time I have volunteered. And so everything that I've done, has shown quotes that I work in a way in which my cup overflowing,

I'm not coming from an empty cup. And if I do find out that my cup is empty, ever again, I will take a pause, and I will go work on refilling my cup first before I can return to community. Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah, I mean, one you anything if nothing, if not consistent, hitting 10 years. That sounds like an amazing. First of all, it's an amazing milestone or there's any other like milestones you are incredibly proud of when it comes to trans Tech because doing so much.

Oh, yes. I mean, literally our partnerships with Google that have helped our members get Google certifications and various skills, our partnerships with the Linux Foundation that has also helped to create a certifications with folks, our partnerships with masterclass. What I love about masterclass is that, again, it helps to reinforce our narrative that it's not just about coding, there's so many different things that you can become an authority

in. So when I'm our partnership with career circle, we have so many growing partnerships, our partnership with hinge, like we have this partnership with the hinge dating app, where they took our members in New York, and they paid them well, I believe was something like $75 an hour, they paid them well to work on basically making the app more inclusive. And so when we see that there are corporations willing to do the work, and not just sell to us, yeah, but include us into the creation of

things. I think that is what I've been most proud of, as well as sort of like, what I've been really, really proud of with trans tech is being affirmed in my leadership. It's not always been easy. I haven't even always been the best and greatest leader. And that many times has been because I've been afraid to say the things sometimes to my community members or to people

that needs to be said. But I've gotten to the point where I in a playful way, invoke the spirit of Miranda Priestly, because from Devil Wears Prada, because one thing that I loved about her character, and I felt that she was so misunderstood, is just as a woman, how the hell do you think she got to where she got to? She can't, she couldn't have got there by being late. She couldn't have got there by not knowing, not knowing what you're

supposed to know in the room. So why would I make room for you to be ignorant at this level and at this space. So what I say is this, I create space and an incubator space for transect for people to go to the gym, where they're not being judged about what the what muscle they're trying to strengthen and work on. But then I also create other opportunities that once you feel like you're ready to step into the ring. Now, sweetie, I'm gonna expect you to be the best because I'm not just calling on

you because you're trans. That's not what I do here. I love trans people, I love queer people, but I like working with the best. And so I want you to be the best trans person at the job, not just trans. So what I love is that I've been able to be this voice of accountability, both for my community that wants to take on different opportunities, and I have to say to them, are you ready? Because luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Are you prepared for this opportunity? And if not, let's

talk about that honestly, and get you prepared. And on the other side, I get to talk to companies and organizations and say but are you prepared? Are you prepared to be truly successful? Are you prepared to be the kind of company that takes responsibility for their carbon footprint? Are you the type of company that wants to actually create pipelines to the

communities that you want to sell to? So for me, as I go into, even to politics and do certain things like I'm taking the conversation of tech into a space where I understand cybersecurity and I'm trying to now get a lot of people into cybersecurity jobs, because there's so many openings and jobs in cybersecurity. And if you are someone who has been a healthcare administrator, HR doing things like that baby, you can do cybersecurity. It ain't about coding, it's just about

protocol. So just know you could be making six figures doing cybersecurity, I need y'all to hear me out. If I am getting my tail up and going to get certified in cybersecurity, you best believe I know where the money is. So you better follow

me over there. And not to mention then when I go into politics, now, and I'm calling you're fully out, because you're not trying to buy Tiktok to keep America See, you're trying to buy Tiktok to create a further monopoly that America has had when they've been in bed with companies like Mehta and not have called mete out on the monopoly that they've created or the antitrust laws that their regulations that they're

violating. So I think that we're gonna have a lot older generation that is not prepared to lead the more technical world and I'm about to get in there and do some shake things Dr. Raquel Martin: stuff up. Because when I, when I tell you, when Facebook bought Instagram, I felt like I was one of the people more well versed, but I was just like, hey, this is a problem. There's this, like, legit was like this way, way, way, way way.

Dr. Raquel Martin: Nobody is no one can someone concerned, or especially that when it comes to before we were speaking up about Palestine when it came to a speaking up or racism or different things you would see black creators were experiencing suppression of their accounts. And white creators were actually co opting various things that black creators were doing and getting various opportunities, engagement levels were way different on those certain

things. And now you have where the Human Rights Watch. A whole organization has written an 81 page report on how meta has been suppressing basically human rights voices, whether they're talking about genocide, or whether they're talking about racism, or the patriarchy, misogyny, I Dr. Raquel Martin: have 720,000 followers on Tiktok. Maybe one

of my videos ago have over 10k. And I can't use any of the typical buzzwords that I use which are racism, misogyny, patriarchy, or I have to change my subtitle Am I learning that I'm learning that I'm seeing people in videos are like using alternate words when they're saying certain things? Yeah, why and it's extra Dr. Raquel Martin: work too, because and putting in captions, you have to change the word racism has to have the Add sign. supremacy has to have the Add sign and you have to do the E

symbol, which takes more work to do. And a lot of people are like, I don't even want to talk about it. Because now I have to not get half of and then people will be like I haven't, I always get anytime a video will be something like goofy or something. Those will go bigger. And I'll pay people to be like, I haven't seen you on my timeline. And so long, wherever

you been, I post every day I post every day. But I've been talking more and more about psycho education and mental health is getting pushed down as well and activism and those videos won't make it to you. I make one silly video for every five real ones because it's also supposed to show me Yeah, I really think that all this kinda like advice that Matt is trying to give on stepping your game up and all this I'm like, Y'all are gaslighting stop with this. Because if you're if

I'm listening, I'm looking at my metrics. And it's telling me that I've reached almost a million, a million accounts. And that only almost I think this is 16% of the is my followers are my fault. So you're telling me that I'm posting things that are reaching millions of people, but not the people who actually push the Follow button to follow me, you got me messed up. You guys like in the wrong girl.

Dr. Raquel Martin: Every time I see those little videos, this hedonistic number one, this this audio was going viral one time I was like, That's not for you. If you look like me, that's not for you. Okay, let me tell you isn't that you want to use that same audio and be mad at yourself? Don't be mad at yourself, be mad at them. That's not for you. Right. Sorry to tell you, you know what I'm saying? And it doesn't mean we have to find, we have to find a way and it's fine AI

is here to stay. Yeah. And as black people, we have to find ways to make the technology work for us. And I think one of the things that we really witnessed was how useful Twitter was for us initially, whether it was Black Twitter, whether it was organizing, and then Elon Musk came and ended all of that. So what I think that that all he told us was that okay, that was the platform. But what really the magic was was how we used

it. And so we need to just go back to creating private channels, group chats, different things that aren't accessible to the mainstream. Of course, America's Big Brother's always watching you, I would say um, but the thing is, is that at least I'm not Giving my game plan out to racist people on Twitter who are trying to basically use our language and

our strategies against us. Yeah, Dr. Raquel Martin: that one of the after the book left, this radical left, this radicalized you, the one I said this radicalized the one, I was like, Well, I think you would, I think you would like this. But that was one of the things they mentioned a lot. I haven't started I mentioned a lot about okay, so What are y'all gonna do it when they shut it down,

because the things are getting shut down, right? Like, the things that we're advocating for are not going to stop just

simply because you can't log into your account. So when we're trying to have these aspects of like organizing and media, we also have to have that plan of, it's not always gonna be a hashtag, because they are buying these companies and they're taking them over, you also have to do on the ground work, we also have to have not just like we're meeting online, but Okay, so this is also let's say, things get shut down, we meet at this location, we meet at this location in person, I know it's

tough, but we got to meet in person because it's really, and that book, like, it was one of my after the after the podcast, I was like, Yo, I think you'll like this book, because it is a was very good, tangible. And it also provided me a different perspective of organizing to the point where I want to learn more about organizing, because there's a difference between being an activist advocating and being an organizer, and

organizer. Yeah, and yeah, and I think there has to be more education around that round, because I think it's amazing for the activism aspect of it. And I feel like I've been more on that realm. But I want to go more into the organizing realm. And that book, maybe even more than organizing, you know, what I've heard it, when are Buddhist meetings and stuff like that one of the things we're we've been studying and talking about is

basically being in this age of soft power. And really recognizing that these institutions and things are basically moving by force, whether that is military force, whether that is political force, and various things. But there's there's wonderful tools of soft power. And that has to do with community engagement, education and information, community care, these type of things that ways in which that's why you see the police get violent when they're trying to actually criminalize

community care, mutual aid, various things like this. It's insane to see this. And we need to call it out, because capitalism is not taking care of us. So we should not be criminalized when we're trying to take care of each other. Exactly. Dr. Raquel Martin: One of my one of my favorite accounts to follow is a parenting decolonize. And she put it she put a mutual aid post up, she was like, I just dropped off my child. And the car wouldn't start after I left the school.

So she had to drop her car off. And they said she needed a water pump. She was like, it costed out a little under 1000. I don't have it, put up her stuff. We all donate it. She was like, first of all, first of all, she's I want I wanted to post this really quickly, this response really quickly. Y'all have already covered that. And you've also covered my rent for the month, thank you so much. I don't get anything out. But it wasn't a really was just like, she provides us with free

resources. She provides us with an eye into our world and advocacy stuff like wow, I want to point that out, I want to point out what you're saying here about how easy it is for us to give to someone who we know is giving so much to community or giving so much to you or to us or you value whatever it is that

they're putting out. When it comes to GoFundMe and things like that, unfortunately, as especially as a trans person, and then someone that has been identified as a celebrity people think that my celebrity cashes at the bank the same same way that Scarlett Johansson is does or Diaz does. And it does not, we does not we do not have that level of access to money, credit different things or whatever. And so like I can only take care of so much and do so much. And so I get a lot of GoFundMe links

from people. And many people who I don't know and I didn't community with and then in finding out they don't even really follow my work that I do. And one of the things that I wanted to point out to people because sometimes people put together half of the story again, when we're talking about journalists are different things. And I'm sitting down and

talking to different people, so many different times. It'll be a situation where people summarize something and so they don't get the whole essence of Dr. Raquel Martin: the story. Certain stories were like, Miss Angelica Ross is leaving Hollywood and was like what's happening? Exactly, that is not the whole story. So even even when I went to Thailand and I got my surgery, I did a GoFundMe initially because it didn't have

the money. I didn't know where the money was coming from. But the only reason I started a GoFundMe was because one of my sisters, Joanna sofrito. And other activists was telling me, Angelica, I know who you are, I know that you want this and I know that you've been avoiding it because you don't think it's possible. And she said I need I want you to start believing that it's possible. Start calling the doctors start looking at dates.

Put your GoFundMe up she was like and she said, there are people that want to give to you and and my GoFundMe was not successful in the sense that like I didn't raise all the

money that I needed for my situation. But what I thought was really wonderful about it was that i There were people who wanted to give to me because they said, Angelica, you give, you've given so much to community, you've done this, you've given so much to me, I've learned so much from you or this, please, this would be a great way for me to feel like I contributed to your life. And so I think I raised about about

four to six, somewhere between four to $6,000, on GoFundMe. And I think even somewhere within that, another 5000 or so was given back to me by my roommate, who I was renting a room out of her house for $1,000 a month. And so she kept it and held on to it and then gave it to me to donate back to my surgery fine. And she's a white trans Republican. And so living with her sometimes was work just living there. Because I had to

do it. She was just not aware sometimes of some of the things but she knew that her relationship and proximity to me was valuable in the sense that it was helping her to unpack certain things that she needed to unpack and do certain things. And what I appreciated about her was that she showed me in return in value, and gratitude saying, Here you go, I want to give to

you. So I think that a lot of when it comes to community things, I think that we're talking about things where there are people who want to eat that are not willing to set the table, they're not even willing to watch the pot, so it doesn't boil over. They're not willing to contribute in some kind of way, but just want to show up and be fed. And again, some of us, I wish our country was more like this, but some of us will

feed you regardless of how you're coming to the table. And that's, I think, the spiritual way, I think that's the way that we should do things to take care of each other. Because I think that what happens is when people are being fed, then out of a place of being fair can come awareness can come a place where when my needs are being met, all of a sudden, I realize my needs

are being met, and somebody next to me needs more. So I think a lot of times what takes us out of even focusing on our own things is being able to realize that other people are in need to Dr. Raquel Martin: Yes, I very much appreciate that. Well, I can't think of anything better to end on. I'm gonna say Angelica Ross, tell everybody where they can find you everywhere. But what? Tell them specifically, listen, you can find me at Miss ross.com and my SSR

oss.com. I'm at Angelica Ross. So most of the platforms but one thing I want you to check out is my winner's circle. I am creating an online community at WIN dot Miss ross.com. And basically it's all about helping folks to celebrate the small and the big wins. But understanding what winning really is about it's not about the scoreboards of bank account balances and credit scores. But it's about a mindset and having a winner's

mindset from moment to moment. So I really want people who see me as a winner because I am a winner baby goes as see me as a winner. I want you to see that as a reflection because I think that everybody can be a winner nobody has to be a loser. So check the checkout join the community at wind dot Miss ross.com Dr. Raquel Martin: Absolutely. And also Angelica Ross has a podcast no opportunity wasted aka now the podcast. You can

check her out there as well. Everyone thanks again for tuning into the podcast mind your mental we love having you here. Always remember to be kind to yourself two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward. That is just math and have a good rest of your day.