Challenges and Choices Building a Supportive Squad ft Minda Harts

how I meet everybody. Because if I like your book, I'm going to send you a message like, hey, this was awesome. I like the way your brain works there. What do you like to do for fun? And that's why it works. Y'all, it works. It works. Y'all, Dr. Raquel Martin: if you listen, you're already at no if you don't ask, you're gonna stay there. Like nobody. There aren't as many malicious people out there as individuals think, like, I have not had anyone be like, Oh, don't ever message me

again, you vagabond. Like most people are like, Hey, what's up? Or, yeah, I'm kind of busy. But maybe in the fall, you know, like, it's people want to help people, especially black women. Y'all like, for real, like, We out here. But I wanted to start off with you talk about this in the book, but talk to the listeners about what inspires you to write the memo in particular, because it is very much like it's tangible. You

incorporate some of your personal experience. But why did you think there needed to be a book talking about what women of color in particular need to know to secure its seat at the table. Hey, everyone, just a reminder that mind, your mental is not just a podcast. It is also a amazing community. If I do say so myself, it's phenomenal. I mean, you get more access to me. What more could you want in this life? So if you want to join the community, if you're not already on the community, go to my

social media. My social media is the same Raquel Martin, PhD and DM me the word community, so you can get details on joining this amazing, flipping community. You get more access to me. Y'all like, I'm a delight. All right. All right. Hope to see you there. Yeah. You know, it's funny. You know, Toni Morrison said, write the book you want to read. And that's exactly what I

did. I kept reading all of these business books. And, you know, this girl don't get the corner office and, you know, lean ahead and do all the things I'm like, you know, that's great and all. But they're not talking to me. They're these are, you know, people in positions of, you know, racial privilege that are

in these rooms for various reasons. And I wanted to write a book where women that had similar experiences in me or felt like they were the only in their working environment, or one of you that they could shake their head and say, You know what, I'm not crazy. I didn't make this up. Just because somebody else doesn't want to talk about race at work doesn't

mean that it's not an issue, right? And that I haven't done anything wrong, even though I might be in the same spot that I was in the workplace for the last five years, but I'm one of the top performers. So I just wanted to write a book, a love letter, if you will, about what it's like to be us in the workplace. Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah, and I very much felt that love letter appeal, because I appreciate the fact that you're speaking specifically to people of color, to black women like me, because

you're right. I remember, like, there was this instance in the book where you mentioned you were so used to hearing these statistics about I think it was like pay inequities, or women being promoted. And you mentioned a good point of, like, even when they share those statistics, they're actually not the accurate statistics that represent you. And people are automatically, like, showing you where their energy lies, because I'll see all those statistics about, oh, this is the pay gap.

This is how much women make. And I'm like, no, because I make less than that. Like, in general, black women make less than that. I said you're sharing statistics about European American women, what they make in comparison to European American men, and it's just like, even when I see stuff like that, I'm like, you're already like, you're saying you're being inclusive, but even with the data you're showing that doesn't even include me. So why would I think that this is a space for

me in the first place? That part in the first. Like, if we preface everything with women, what women are you talking about? Right? Then I started to realize that you weren't actually talking about me as a woman. So I needed to create content and writings that would say, hey, for free for the rest of us, here's what's Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah, and it being more tangible, because I'm sorry, there's only so many times I'm going to be told to

lean in before I be like, I'm on the floor. How? How much more can I What are we I made a tangible Can you give me a step

like, I need? Like, this is ridiculous. And the reason why I really liked your book, because your book was the first one and to the state legit, the only one that mentioned not only the utility of mentors, but the differences and like, the levels when it came to mentors, can you share more about like, your perspective in terms of, yes, we understand the utility of mentors, but like, you need to come at this a certain way. There's different levels to this kind of mentorship.

Yeah, you make a really great point. Dr Martin, because I think the buzzword is like, Do you have a mentor? Get a mentor, okay, but once you have one, then is it actually working for you? Do you have a working relationship? Is this a mentor? You know, for example, I might say, oh, you know, Oprah is a mentor, right? I watch her things. But Oprah isn't necessarily, at this point in my life where we're recording, invested in my success personally, like as a whole,

yes, right? But, and so yes, that's one way I can gain mentorship. You know? I can listen to read her books, watch her shows. If I, you know, want to be a journalist or I want to be a good interviewer, I can take tips from Oprah. That's a great place to start, right? But if I want somebody who's actually invested that I have access to right, then I can ask the five questions that have been like keeping me up at night, or, Hey, we have this meeting on Monday, you know, in

last year. I can we follow up six months from now? Because I'd like to talk about, you know, what's happened since then, maybe we could strategize, like having somebody, what I call a success partner, somebody who is invested in your success. And I think that's where many people get tripped up, is like, Yeah, somebody can give you great advice, but can we follow up with them? And maybe it's a one time thing, right? Somebody could give you that one time advice, and it takes you and

propels you. But I think we have to understand, like one rapper said, There's levels to this, right? Dr. Raquel Martin: There's levels to this, levels. I think we need to manage our expectations and be clear and articulate what we need from mentors and what the expectation is. Because I think then too we say, well, you know, I have this mentor, but we never talk. I never know what's going

on. It's just in name only. And I think part of the responsibility is for us to manage that relationship, just like the workplace you might manage up. We have to manage those mentorship relationships as well. Dr. Raquel Martin: Do you think there are certain signs for people to look out for, whether it's someone they identified as a mentor or they think of it as a mentor, where it's like, this is how you can tell that someone is invested in you and like and

your well being and your success, like career wise. Or this is possibly how you can tell that it's not as much the case in the first place. Yeah, I think, for example, right now, I'm seeking out mentors for film and TV. So I've been in book writing for a long time, and I want to tell stories in a different medium. Now, I'm not in the entertainment, you know? I'm adjacent to entertainment, right? And so, so I've been seeking out mentors. And I had a call with a gentleman the other day or two

gentlemen, and they were both in film and TV. They happen to be white men. I see them as maybe they could be potential mentors, right? But we are just meeting each other, and I was very clear on what I'm looking to do and how I'd like them to help me. It's almost like a relationship, right? I'm telling you what I need. I have to be clear on that, and then they can decide if they want to be a part of that or not. One gentleman said, Hey, once you get to this point in your career, reach back out

to me, and I'll be I can be more helpful. He was up front. He's like, do these things before, and then reach back out to me. Now, not to say that he's not invested in my success, but I know that instead of spinning my wheels, he's not going to be like my mentor right now, right? He gave me good advice. It was one time. Thing is going to help me. Another man that I had a conversation with, he's like, Here's my email. Send me your pilot. I'll take a look at it. I'll review it. Let's get back

on a call, right? Those were two situations where I'm like, this is clear that there's somebody who's willing to go the maybe potentially go the distance with me. And I think we have to both be honest with ourselves, because I might then keep emailing the first guy, and he never responds to me, and now I'm feeling some kind of way about it, when he already put it out there, what type of mentor he was more than likely going to be, right?

Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah, and with this, it seems like you also have to have, you have to, like, be empowered and. Galvanized to, like, take the first step, because it sounds like you found these people. There are people who maybe their names kept coming up, and you decided to reach out to them yourself, right? Like it wasn't like, Oh, hey, I just randomly saw you, and you'd look like a producer, like you did the

research. It started off with the work that you're putting in to ask for their assistance in the first place. Yeah. So I think we just have to be clear. I think that starts with us, right? What type of mentors do we need? How can they be helpful? And just like the saying says people are in your life for a season, reason or lifetime, and we have to understand what those mentorship buckets are as well. Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah, and I think so, like with your book,

The memo, you're talking getting a seat at the table. You mentioned being in corporate work, but And you're also, you're a significant entrepreneur, like an entrepreneur author, you public speaker, like, you do all these things. And as someone who's entering into that space, or has been in it for a little bit, but I always had, like, the cushion of academia to, like, fall back on, like, Okay, well, at the end of the day, yes, I can do these speaking engagements, but I got

four classes to teach you. Oh, yeah, but let's get booked for this. But I also have patience, like I've always had. I haven't ever felt like fully in the entrepreneurship space, because it was always just something a little just a little extra, right? I'm still teaching full time, I'm still publishing research, I'm still seeing patients. People wanted to hear me speak. I'm like, Oh, this is a great bonus. Like, Oh, great.

Now we have money to get new floors, but I'm not fully surviving off of it, because entrepreneurship has always scared me. Like, I know people, I think, and it's interesting, because your second book is right within how to heal from racial trauma in the workplace. And I've always stated when I do these talks that I'm just like, you know, I don't know. I don't think all because black women are like, the one of the biggest groups of entrepreneurs. I was like, I don't think all these

black women want to be entrepreneurs. I think there's a significant amount of people who got so sick of trying to fit and conform into a space that overtly and covertly says that they didn't want you here, that they created their own space. Because I'm just like, entrepreneurship is like, Oh, I'll show you, instead of working 40 hours a week, I'm going to work 140 because that's what you're doing. Yo. Like, every time I'm just like, yeah, it's a bunch of black Olympian

entrepreneurs. But I bet you, if you could create a work environment like a salary job, where they didn't feel excluded, it wasn't oppressive, they would be like, Sign me up. You write. Let me just end this lease for my candle company tomorrow. And I have no problem. So it's just like, I totally get why some people, I get why. There's so many of us in that space. But I don't think it's always a choice. I think it's really just choosing yourself, because it's like, I'm not gonna keep getting

treated like this. I'm gonna have to create something of my own. Do you feel like you see that too, and in terms of like you're speaking at all these places you're talking about, like diversity and women being welcome and all of that? Do you also feel like it's like, yeah, I feel like 70% of these people, after this talk will realize, you know what, this ain't the place for me, because Amanda said, y'all doing all the wrong

things. Y'all brought her at once, but like, we've been having these issues, I think it's time for me to dip, yeah, yeah. I'm glad you brought that up, because, you know, you see the articles that say, oh, black women are the, you know, number one entrepreneurship group, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but yeah, and we celebrate that. But what I write and my books are not for people to have a mass exodus out of corporate or academia or nonprofit life.

That's not why I wrote the books. Yeah, I wrote them because I want them to know that what does it look like to thrive, right? What does it look like to be able to advocate for yourself? You could potentially do that where you are. It doesn't mean you have to leave, but it might mean that there's another table, one you create, or one somebody else creates that's better for you. I just wanted to remind people that we have options, and entrepreneurship is very hard.

Even though we're one of the fastest growing groups, we still get the least amount of money when it comes to investments, right? And to your point, yeah, I was working in my corporate life. I worked probably 80 hours a week. I'm now working probably 150 right? No, do it now? Do I like working, you know, for myself, but there's days I never said, oh, I want to be an entrepreneur. It was a means to an end. I could no longer survive in the environment because it was killing me. So I

had to leave. I had to figure it out. I had to take my, you know, my loaves and my bread and create a miracle out of it and move on. You know, yeah, and it worked out, but, and yes, but I when people say, do you think you never go back to corporate? I never say never, because I never planned on being in the seat that I was, but I know that I needed to be here to remind people what is possible for their lives, for their careers, for their well being, but it's difficult. It's a different type

of thing. So I think we have to also be honest with ourselves that, you know, it's nice to have that cushion, right? I didn't leave corporate America until I had enough of a cushion that if it didn't work out, that I'm like, Okay, I got some breathing room to figure it out. But what I do want at the end of the day is for us to just know that we have. Options. And I think that's the part that we get so stifled in to think there's only a one size fits all.

Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah, I think a lot of times the thought process of entrepreneurship is, I think a lot of women just I choose me, you know, like I choose my well being. And the uncertainty of entrepreneurship seems way more conducive to my well being than the certainty of the fact that like this place is awful, and I truly can't, like, keep coming in here. And it's tough too, because I feel like we're also in this space, especially with social media, where it's just like, you know,

big boss energy is only if, like, you got your own LLC. I'm just like, Yo, well, I go, I go to my office, and I feel like the boss too, like it's just like, sometimes there's also that thought process that, like, well, if you don't own your own stuff, like, what is you doing? Like, what? Yeah, I'm still working. Like, I still feel like I'm able to create change. Black excellence doesn't only mean like, I gotta be starting my own

business, because I feel like that's tough as well. I'm glad because it doesn't have it could it's yes and right, it might be for a period of time, but I think part of it is just saying, Hey, I don't have to stay here and be oppressed and participate in the oppression. I can go to another place, right? There might be another nine to five that's for me, or I might take a sabbatical where I'm not doing anything right. I just think that as black women, we have to find

what works best for us. For so long, we've been kind of socialized and conditioned to what everybody else tells us success is, and then we haven't actually figured out what that is for ourselves. And I think part of it, rather, I stay in entrepreneurship till the rest of my life, where I go back, you know, to a, you know, a more traditional job. I'm glad that

I, to your point, bet on myself. I'm glad that I gave myself permission to see what it's like on the other side of the table and I and it's a freedom that I wish everyone at some point in their life could taste just so that they know what it looks like on on both sides.

Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah. And as someone who with your entrepreneur, like with your business, even today, I like, I checked in to see if you were actually at home, because, like, you're constantly traveling, just like you're like, LinkedIn, top voices, three books, like constantly speaking in all these stages. Do you feel like, what are Were there certain things that were just so tough for you when you transitioned from

corporate to entrepreneurship, like you were just like, Huh? I thought this part would be easier, and it was in the first place, because you are very much like, thriving and doing all the stuff now. But with a lot of transitions, there could be something where you're looking back like, oh, that part sucked. I'm so glad I'm not in the the throes of that anymore.

Yeah, you know, I think the behind the scenes, stuff like the taxes, the you know, you know, paying your own health insurance, or you know that in your day job, you might get paid once a month, and you know what day it's going to come, or every two weeks. And with entrepreneurship, one thing I didn't realize some I chased down one fortune 500 company for six months before they paid me, right? You know, and that the average person cannot live off of not being paid for six

months, right? I was on my I thought I was gonna have to go to the check in cash place for a second. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know, you're like, touch and go. And I just don't think that we talk about those things. You know, yes, Forbes named you this, and LinkedIn named you that, and Business Insider. But at the end of the day, you know, you're chasing the checks. You're have to build your business. There's just a lot that goes into it, not just doing the Talk or writing the

book. And I just think that, you know, I love how you are, because you're so transparent about the things you know, like, yeah, there's these great days, but there's also the days where I call I'm sliding down the wall, right? I'm like, Oh, I Dr. Raquel Martin: feel like I have been having more sliding down the wall days like, I try to be very transparent. Like, y'all Listen, this is an email I sent to someone who wasted, what did they waste? Like, months of my time, and then was like, Oh,

my bad. We ain't got the money. I was like, you ain't got the money, yo. When I be like, let me tell you something. People, where I'm from, people get knocked out, but I gotta be an adult, you know, I'm saying like, Oh, you know, I'm typing the email, but I'm feverishly typing like, Are you about to get a lesson today? Because, you know what? If nothing else, I'm gonna, I'm gonna find some release from like, and then even in that realm, still gotta do it professionally, because the

market is, you know, the place is small. Or, you know, I people ask how I get gigs. And I was like, I pitched myself a lot, like, in my speaking thing. I was like, my first year was like, I'm pitching everybody. My second year, I was like, Okay, I'm coming up with my rates. This is like my third real year of doing it, and I'm just like, I'm not pitching at all. Now, mind you, that was my goal in January. It's May, and I'm back to pitching again. It's just like you have to be able to

pivot and have the conversations you have to. It's very frustrating to just be like, Hey, I'm really good at. You want to have me on this stage? Oh, I guess you're not, because you announced the speakers on social media, and I'm not one of them. You couldn't have just told me, No, bruh, all you could have said was, like, it's not gonna happen, you know, like, it's just and I think people see the ups of it. And I always Whenever someone's like, you make it look so easy, that's

when I'm just like, oh my god, oh my god. I think I've forgotten to give you a back seat, like, as soon as anytime I see someone say, Oh, my goodness, you just make it look so effortless. That's my cue to let you know that. Like, Oh, I haven't done a basic face front and face, yeah, you know, selfie video, yeah? Because if I did, there is no way you would think, I think this is yes. You're like, wait, you know, here's what it really

looks like. Yes. Dr. Raquel Martin: That literally, when people say that, I'm like, oh, it's time to do a front a selfie video. Again, my bad, because we seem to be confused. Like, it's not easy. It is worth it, but it's not easy by any way, in any way, shape or form. Like, I get frustrated when I say, flip a tape. I have literally, like, thrown a book when I was just like, you could have just told me it was a no. Like, stuff like

that gets very frustrating. And it's just like, it's why I try to be way more transparent about like, yeah, you guys, like, you see me doing a speaking but y'all do know I still teach full time, right? Like, y'all do know, like, I can only do events on certain days. I still gotta cook, like, extra days to go out of town. I think people only see one side of it, and then I think I want you to, I want you to. I want it to be appealing to a

certain extent, but I want you to. I want you to see the guts and the glory like I want you to see like I was on the fall floor crying, and then I had happened, I got an email about, like, Oh, you got this gig instead. Okay. But like, I'm like, Thank you Jesus.

Dr. Raquel Martin: Like, what are we gonna do? I'm about to be on the street trying to give therapy for some change, man, because this is a working like, we'll provide you with an affirmation for adults, because this is getting crazy, you know.

But like, I just, I want people to see both sides. Because when we think about like, mental health, well being, and we think about black mental health, I feel like this aspect of black excellence, I feel like it's really myopic most times, and I think that we have gotten to a place where we dehumanize ourselves like we dehumanize people in the black community, the same way that used to be done to us, like we put ours.

The only way to be a boss, is to be owning your own business. And the only way to be doing it, to be a black excellence, is to be doing it this one way. And I'm just like, man, Yo, people have already put us in a box, like, we ain't gotta do it to ourselves. You can be. You can very much do it a different way. I'm glad that you said that, Doctor Martin, because even now I feel like with black excellence and mental health.

It's a real push, I mean, and I know it comes in waves, but right now, I feel like we're seeing if you're not a millionaire, then you're not doing anything. You know, Dr. Raquel Martin: this is like, you might as well give up on life, like, wait a second, life and success can look a whole bunch

of different ways. But I feel, especially in the black community, you're not a millionaire, you're not going to the retreat, you're not at this place, you're not place, you're not you're just like losing and it's like, wait a second, there's joy in what you're doing as well, right? And I just feel like, again, that's what I love when I hear you speak and the content that you put out there to show you, know, it can look a

lot of different ways. You know, it doesn't have to. And I think that's important, you know, just to say, and I think in the black community specifically, sometimes we get in these like silos, where, if, well, if I didn't get invited to this place, that I must not be doing it right, right? Or, you know, I see so and so is doing it and, you know, but so and so is going through the same stuff we're just talking about right now, but showing you, yo,

Dr. Raquel Martin: I kid you not. There was, what was it? It was like, culture con, or one of those really big things. And I didn't even know what's happening, but you see, like, top mental health people. And I was like, oh, so I'm just trash. Like, I genuine. My husband looked at me like, my god. Like, what are you serious? Like, he it's also, it's good to have someone who like the old I always state, because you, you mentioned this as well as, like building building your family,

like building your squad. The reason why I do well, I'm always going to be doing good because the people around me, they believe in me more than I do, but they also are quick to be like, have some freaking sense. Raquel, this. I'm not doing this with you. Okay, please, yes, yes. Oh, you didn't get dating for that. What did you were just talking about something you got published. Have some sense? Yeah, I'm not doing this with you. Like, I very much. Have people to be like, ignore. She's

being insane. We're not doing she's having a moment. And you know, you need those people to just be like, Girl, bye. Are we going to get food or not? Because I'm not. I'm not doing this with you. I don't have the energy. Okay, today was about me. Yeah, okay, I'm not talking to you about your thing. So, like, you mentioned that too, and I think it's important, because we build our friendships, we build our

friendship so we have people over time. But when you talk about building your squad, I love the fact that you also talk about building like your business squad, it's just like, all right, yo. Like, who's gonna buy. You up like you want to look around your squad and be like, Yo, you was. You were talking about doing this opportunity. I didn't even think

about that. Tell me more. Like, I like how you mentioned that, what have been some ways that you have found to, like, build your squad, or advice you would give to people if they don't already have one, to just be on the lookout for it. Because I agree it's something that you need, and I love the fact that you mentioned it as a necessity? Yeah. I

mean, we need that in our tool toolbox. You need, you know, a squad internally, wherever you might be working or what you're doing, so that people are speaking your names in the rooms that you're not in, being able to say, Hey, mind is interested in that. Did you know? Let me make a connection, right? But if we don't have people that know what we're working on, that we trust, then they can't be the connectors. You know, Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called, was it? No, it's,

is it the outliers? I might be Miss messing the outliers is one? Yeah. And, you know, he talks a lot about, you know, these people on the fringes, which I think are great, but we he also talks about how you actually have to have a team of people, those connectors, those influencers, right? That help you get to those places, right? And so for me, I realized very quickly in my corporate life that I can't be an island. Yeah, I'm really great at what I do. But, you know, do I have a

connection in HR? Do I have somebody in the tech department when, you know, things go down and I don't have 24 hours to wait for the ticket to come up with my name on it, right? Or, you know, the executive assistant to the CEO, like everybody, has a role to play that could be part of the team. And if I'm the captain of my team, I need some players to help me play the best game possible. And I see that in every facet of my life, right? So as an entrepreneur, I have a

group chat of public speakers, right? That are part of that. I built a squad. So when something funny or fishy comes up, hey, in the group chat, they didn't, you just speak there last year. What did they do? Right? They trying to give me exposure, you know, like, or I can't do this. Can you do this? Right? Just those sorts of things, and realizing that, oh, hey, the month has been slow. Dei is on attack. Are you getting work? I'm not getting work. Oh, here's some work, right? Just having a space

where you don't have to be in isolation. And I know, for me, the beginning of my career, I was so isolated because I was the only one, and I wasn't finding my squad at the in the workplace, but I realized that I was also part of creating that squad. You know, you don't have to wait, you know, I Dr Martin for so long, and I'm still in therapy about it. I used to be like, well, you know, I went to junior college, and then I transferred. I don't have the Ivy League, you know, like

everybody else, so they can't be part of my squad. And I was talking myself out of who could be in my squad. And then I took the power back and said, I get to create, right? And you don't have to have a certain pedigree or identity to be able to do that. You know, that's where we democratize the the workplace in our lives. We get to create that. And you talked about doing that as well. I mean you, and I'm sure at some point our paths

would have crossed. But you know, you initiated that, and I'm glad that you did right and and I just want all of us to realize that we can build our squad and and a lot of my squad are people that nobody has even knows, right? They don't have to be people who are also LinkedIn or, you know, essence, top this and that. And I also want people to understand that everybody plays value in the squad. It doesn't have to be someone with a million followers. It can be somebody with a 50 followers,

someone who doesn't even have an Instagram. You know what I'm saying? Like, let's also not be so fixated on who those people have to be, being open minded. Dr. Raquel Martin: Yeah. And I think that's really important, because, like, the same way you mentioned you work through that, I work through that too the number of times. And I think the thing I always apply this whole aspect of like, healing in public to help those healing private. Like, I try to make

sure I share the positive things. But a lot of times I'm like, everybody gotta get to hear the positive about everyone. I want y'all to hear my trash moments. Yo, like, this is what, because they're so and I'm just like, you know, I keep seeing all these peaks I need to see. Like, I need y'all to if you need someone to show you the pits of it, I will show you like, Oh, my God, I didn't get chosen for this thing. I mean, I didn't even know it was a thing, and I know I wanted it, until I

saw somebody else was not, you know. And, you know, you question things, and it's someone on social media and all that. I remember I was talking to my colleague, and they were like, oh, you know, oh, I wanted to get on social media, but my stuff doesn't do as well as this pretty big content creator. And I said, Yo, don't you ever and it's somebody I know for a fact. And I was like, let me say something. I know him. Okay, that man is a full time content creator. Okay, you will never

You understand me. You're not going to be as good as him. And why would you be as good as him? He's not as good as you at teaching full time in academia because he's not doing it. He's a full time content creator, if you ever get a post that does as well as him, please tell me what you did. Like, there's so many people who are comparing themselves to maybe they're still in your same topic area, but they're full time content creators. Like this is what they're doing, and they're

amazing at it. They should be doing better than you at this. They should. Could be they started 10 years ago, and you started last they started 10 Dr. Raquel Martin: years ago. II genuinely was like, what? Like, I look at them like, Yo, alright. Now, come on. Now, let's have some sense. Alright, like, because it's easy to compare things, and I used to do that too. But if it's one thing I don't do, I do not compare, listen, I don't compare myself

to full time content creators. Because I'm like, Oh, this is amazing, yeah, yeah, you should, yeah. You look like you learned a new technique that was tough. And even with stuff as simple as, like, fitness, I follow Fitness accounts, but there's only certain fitness accounts I follow that are not of parents, yeah, because I need you, because the parent accounts will also be like, Listen, this am I supposed to work out this week, this kid got sick. We all died over here. I can't see too much

productivity. And I'll be honest with y'all out there, just listeners. I can't see too much productivity because it's just too much. I just be like, Well, what you did? What you made artisanal jam while before you went to Pilates, and then you made your husband a what? Oh, and then you got new lingerie for that night too. That's what's up. It's too much productivity. I can't see it. You see, I mean, like, this is too then you put a chocolate on your girl, okay? Girl, I'd

Dr. Raquel Martin: be like, you did. You did what? Oh, my God. And it's not even I just be like, I love that for you, hate it for me, love it for you. But I, literally, I have a ceiling on. They seem too productive. I can't do it. I think that's the best. Oh, you make some mental health advice, not, you know, Comparison is the thief of joy

and one. As an entrepreneur and an author early on, I would be like, Well, why am I not like Elaine welterock, well, you know, she was the, you know, editor in chief of this Dr. Raquel Martin: but you know, I think people forget that men, I think people forget that because I genuinely, I really think people think that, like somebody mentioned it was a music artist, and I had to follow him for a minute, and

they were like, Oh, they were an overnight success. And I was like, Oh, I guess it took a decade to be an overnight success. You haven't I've been listening to this person for forever. They just happen to get on the radio. It's like, they it, I don't know, an overnight success. Like, it's, I get people that see, like, what's above the water, but like, no one is an overnight it's not possible, especially because there's so much competition out there, yeah? Like, it's not a

it's very much not a thing. Yeah, don't compare yourself. And I also state, like, I think social media is amazing. Like, I when it's a good tool, it's fantastic. It helps me to stop people like you, and then just reach out, like, Hey, what's up? What you want to be, want to be friends, and y'all, like, seriously, That's literally how I reach out. Like, I like your

book, you seem cool. What's that? You know? Like, it's, it doesn't have to be that deep, but like it when it's when people need to realize that, like, if I'm looking at something and it's making me feel bad, like, I'll mute it, and if I feel better after muting it, I might just unfollow, right? That doesn't mean you gotta write on someone's page, saying doing too much. You could just, like, shut

your face and then just, you know, mute or unfollow. You know, like some people, I'd be like, why would you I didn't need to know that you didn't like this girl. You commented on my page, not sure I ain't coming on yours. Like, I just, I think more people need to realize there's an entrepreneurship and stuff. There's so much aspects of social media now. Like, I think a lot of people are marketing themselves on there. You do? You do great on all platforms, especially LinkedIn.

I can't stand me. But, like, I don't know how you do it. Like, you on top everything, and I'm like, yeah, she's staying awake. You have IG and Tiktok on live. I just be there, just to have a pulse. That's all I'm like, you post. Dr. Raquel Martin: I'll be like, but every time I see him, like, Oh, look at this. This is some good LinkedIn. I very much. Be like, where are the videos? I need some memes, guys, I haven't laughed in like, five minutes. Like, congratulations on your

promotions and Dang. Like, I need trash. Like, I need some trash content and LinkedIn is not for thank God we have that. We can get what? Yes, that's why we have all the platforms, because it's like, Listen, I need some straight up trash. Let me go. I'm gonna head on over to tick tock real quick. Let me see who's pissed off at WHO? Yes, for uh, for uh, doing this. But like, yeah. I think it's really important for people to realize, even with the aspect of entrepreneurship, a lot of

people are on social media. But one, it's a good tool to reach out to people. I think with your squad, it sounds like your squad is also pretty transparent with you. I make sure my people, I talk to my people about money all the time, and I wish more people felt comfortable with that, because if I make more than you, ask me questions about how I got there, and if you make more than me, Imma ask you some questions, like, it's just money, like, I'm not going to be ashamed about making less. You

gonna help me make more? Help me make more? That part? I mean, I think that's too part of entrepreneurship, part of just being a human, is saying, okay, yeah, we want I want you to be successful. I want your listeners to be successful. And it's like, we have to share some of these things so that we all can have the information to be able to make our next best steps right and our next best moves.

But when we hoard the information, when. Don't when we're not saying here are two sides of the coin, then we are, you know, misleading what's possible. And to your point, I think that there's no one way to do a thing, right, but we have to. But I love that we can talk about these things so that we are just, if I can stop you from bumping your toe on the edge of the couch, right, then that's what I want you, Dr. Raquel Martin: you know, that's how I see it too. Like I

literally, I be like, Yo, I made this mistake. Don't do that. Do not do that. Like I very much, that's how I see it. Is just being like, oh, you know, here's the thing. I did it this way, and I very much got to a point where I survived that however. I really want you not to make this mistake in terms of, like, that encounter or that thing I've been trying to get better at lately, I've been responding to emails when I'm pissed. So, like, I've been trying to tell people, like, take if you are

typing and you notice your heart rate is increasing. Like, respond later, because I'm also at a space where, like, I think I've done really well at, like, telling people off professionally, however, later, sometimes I'm just like, I didn't even really need to say that. I was just mad. I was just mad, like, and or irritated. So like, even that, when people reach out to me, I'm like, yo, wait 10 minutes. Yo. Like, go drink some water, sit outside, eat a banana, and then, like,

come back. Because yes, things go okay for me sometimes in this scenario. But how do I not know that person was just like, yeah, so we signed a contract with you, and I'm gonna Tee hee with you until, you know, pay you out. I ain't never booking your behind again. You not gonna tell me about myself and then CC everybody like, yeah, okay, we did this contract. I never worked with you again, yeah? And I know the person who also is the head of BuzzFeed, and you ain't never working with them

either. Like, you never, you legit, never know. So it's just like, everybody's just like, oh, right, you you do so well with that. I'm like, Yeah, but please realize I do know that there are going to be positive and negative consequences. I'm just, most of the time I'm okay with it, you know, sometimes I literally do be like, I do need to tell you about yourself, because I've heard that this is a problem for a lot of people, and I'm okay with following on this sword because I don't like

you and I don't want to work with you again. So like, I'm going to be honest about this, but I want people to know like, Y'all be liking like, oh yeah, she told them off. Please be aware that there are also many times where they be like, Girl, I ain't working with you, but will you call me? You call me everything but a child of God, yeah, I love working with you. And I'll be like, Yeah, I do remember that. I didn't know if you did, but that was some of my best work. So I'm actually kind

of happy that was really good. You know. Like, listen, one of my favorite rappers is Jay Z, and I'm be real. I sometimes I brag. Like, hope I'd be like, listen, okay, do you know you're talking to okay, I don't get this. Okay, I'm not gonna do this. But in the same aspect of it, you I like the fact that you provide like, advice on networking and office politics and financial aspects of corporate life and

entrepreneurship. What do you think are some common mistakes that you've seen women of color make in these particular areas, and what are some ways you think that they can avoid them? You know, I think all of it comes down to our voice and our value. I think that oftentimes, rather we're inside the workplace or outside the workplace, we are silencing ourselves at the expense of our own well being, instead of saying what we mean without saying it mean you in your

industry, they call it boundaries, right? So in the workplace, I think are critical. And I think that sometimes, as black women in particular, and women, we think, Oh, well, you know, I'll just work hard with my head down. Or, you know, it's only one time they didn't mean any harm. And and we participate in those systems of oppressions at times, too. And I think that people who don't know what good looks like if you don't tell them. And I think for so long in my career, I did, I just went

along with the get along, and it wasn't helpful to me. I was saying yes to things that weren't getting me any closer to my long term goals, you know, just to appease people. But once I realized that I have more power than I think, and part of my freedom lies in using my voice. Right? They hired you for a reason. They booked you for a reason, you know. So make sure

that you're clear. There's an author, and she says clarity is kindness, and part of that is being very clear on what your boundaries are, so that people can never create a narrative outside of you. You get to own the story. And that's what I want us to do, inside and outside the the workplace, own the narrative document. If you need to root things in fact, right? I think sometimes we can root things in emotion, and emotions, you know, matter too. We need to check in with our

bodies. But when I'm having conversations, I'm not, oh, I felt like you were being racist or sexist or homophobic or ageist. No at 1259, in Zoom Room 10, I wanted to talk about what you might have, what you meant by that, like, and once I was able to do those. Sorts of things. And I think, Oh, he's being unfair. Well, what does that mean? Yeah, like, and I had to acknowledge that to me first. So acknowledge those things to yourself first, and then you can

acknowledge them to other people. And you know, so for me, it really is part of the voice. Our voice is so important, so don't give your voice away. Dr. Raquel Martin: Don't give your voice away. I think that's perfect. I think it's the first thing to end the episode on. Well, Minda, thank you so much for coming to the show. Tell people where they can find you. I mean, they can find you

everywhere. You stay on a plane. I can't wait until you sit like you start posting on your private jet, because as much as you fly, I mean, I was like, I wonder where she's at today. Oh, you're home today. That's what's up your favorite internet Street, whether it's LinkedIn, iG, formerly known as Twitter at Minda, hearts, thank you so much. Dr. Raquel Martin: Thank you. Alright, y'all as always, be kind to yourself. Remember that two steps forward and one step

back is still one step forward. That's just math. And have a good day. You.