Sexual Mastery 101: Replace Ejaculation with Circulation | Men's Sexual Mastery Ep. 28

All right, welcome everybody to another episode of the Men's Sexual Mastery podcast where we are awakening, empowering, and aligning every brother, every man. into his sexual potential in service to future generations, in service to the children waiting to be born into the future homes where the men have their sexual energy fully integrated and are fire tenders. and leaders in the intimacy in their relationships so that their relationships thrive and the family thrives.

Uh this is your host, Ben Timby. I'm joined here by my fellow co-host and co-founder, Ian Hawks. Yes, to all that. What's up, everybody? What's up, y'all? And we are excited to just jump into a short form podcast here today. Uh Hawks and I just were on the the call before hitting the record button. chatting about what's alive for us and what we want to bring through and I'm really excited to open up this box.

uh around male sexuality and all the ways it can transform our lives from the inside out. Mm-hmm. So I'd love to start by just passing it to you, Hawks, and just hearing what's what's moving in you, what's alive in you right now. Is there anything you want to share? Hmm. Yeah. What's alive right now that wants to be shared is uh a little short form, as you mentioned, dive into like why we would want to practice human intention. in the in the context of making love with our partner.

So like what is there for us? We I think if you're tuning into this podcast, you've likely heard of semen retention or intention before and maybe you're familiar with the positive benefits than that ca that that can have for us as men in having greater vitality, more strength and courage and motivation to move through the day, more focus and

a sense of coherence within ourselves. There's an endless uh list that we could Explore of all the benefits that that has to us as men in our individual experience. But what's alive for me right now is When we bring that charge that we're cultivating and circulating within our own body, when we bring that into relationship with our partner, into lovemaking, how does that impact that sexual experience with our partner?

That's what I'd love to talk about. Yeah, let's go, man. Let's go. Yeah, take her away. Okay, so There's a phenomena that really needs to be experienced to be understood because we can get into some of the more woo-woo or esoteric, energetic kind of language here when we talk about what happens when we've cultivated more of a charge within ourselves and then we experience penetrative sex with our partner and how that shifts the experience.

for her and for everyone involved. But I'm just gonna go into that. Cause if you're here, likely you have some understanding of energetics and mm, maybe you've understood to some degree that we are energy.

In motion. Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. And really quick, just to add into that, you know, a lot of this stuff is very emergent. This is very like cutting edge on in the field of neuroscience or quantum mechanics and you know, especially in the age like if you're listening to this podcast and perhaps you've taken psychedelics or you've done breath work or you've meditated and you've touched some of these states of consciousness.

that are beyond the ordinary, these non ordinary states they call them. You know, this stuff is still, again, like on the cutting edge in the evolution of personal development, you could call it, or I mean really sexual development, um relationship development, human evolution, and it's science is still catching up with a lot of this stuff and our intention here is to provide the the systems and data, you know, in time.

to be slowly integrating more of this with more scientific backing, but Uh I just wanted to pepper that in, as you'd mentioned, like this might seem a little woo-woo, a little esoteric, but trust that these are ancient technologies, ancient sciences coming from millennia of practice, you know, especially the Taoist practice, which is one of our our big ones coming from China.

And tied in with traditional Chinese medicine. But as we've mentioned in other podcasts, this is also connected with Ayurvedic, you know, Indian medicine and uh other lineages. So uh yeah, with that I'll pass it back to you, Hawk. Yeah. So let's talk about it. Just plain and simple, when we as men have cultivated a sexual charge within ourselves, meaning that we are withholding from ejaculation for a period of time.

And what we're really all about in men's sexual mastery is not just the withholding and the retaining of that. release, but actually the cultivation of that sexual energy within us and the circulation because energy is here to flow, it's here to move.

if we're just holding that energy back and trying to suppress it in some way, it's gonna stagnate stagnate and that's not healthy for us. So With that little caveat, when we're building up more of a sexual charge within us through withholding from ejaculation for a period of time, depending on your age, that might be felt within just a few days or it might be a few weeks if you're a little older.

When we have cultivated that charge within ourselves and then we enter a sexual experience with our partner, we're having penetrative sex with our partner. There is a s a very palpable shift in the experience for our partner and for ourselves in that lovemaking. It becomes what you might.

uh what what we might call a more tantric experience and what what does that really mean? We we could save that for another podcast. But To me it means like there are energetics at work that surpass the physical sensation of friction and the penetrative motion of the physical love making act. There can be such a potent energy held within us and expressed through our lingam or our caulk or our heart wand that when we enter our partner, she feels that energy and it fills her up.

And it charges her up and opens up her energetic channels in ways that just aren't possible if we're constantly showing up to sex in an energetic, depleted state. because we're chronically ejaculating and there isn't the time required for us to actually really build up that charge within ourselves.

So just very practically, this can look like entering a partner and actually coming into stillness. And in that place of stillness, the arousal and the pleasure and the energy is building and it's growing and it's expanding. And it can take very little actual friction and movement to facilitate a very expansive orgasmic experience. And when we pair that with, you know, you can have a very tantric experience and just be completely still the whole time.

Tantric sex doesn't require you to be still all of the time, but that's often a part of it. Um but Essentially, we can have less movement, less friction, and more sensation, more pleasure, more arousal. And when an orgasm actually does emerge, it tends to be on a different

uh different dimension of experience, like far more expansive and can be felt in the entire body and beyond the body. And it can turn into this really spiritual or psychedelic or transcendental experience. And And then when we as men get to guide our partner into that experience and co-create that experience with our partner.

That energy just radiates through both both beings and the whole room and the whole space and the whole home. And we get to take that with us. When we choose to not have an ejaculation, it's especially potent. the act of lovemaking can come to a completion. And then that energy is still with us and we get to carry it into the rest of our day. So just like really quickly without going into too many details, you know, I had an experience with my partner last night.

was a massively expansive orgasmic experience. And I didn't ejaculate and I woke up this morning and I felt like I had taken psychedelics. It's just w going for a walk in the morning, the shimmer of light coming through the leaves, the feeling in my body of lightness, of connection, of buoyancy, of um just like empowerment and well being was so, so palpable. And I felt completely fulfilled.

after the sexual experience and that energy was able to settle in and be integrated in a way where I don't have blue balls. I don't have any discomfort. I'm just feeling deeply satisfied and fulfilled and so charged up.

And this is something like I started by saying it needs to be experienced to really be understood. And so Just here to shout it from the rooftops in the ways that we can because this isn't stuff that many most of us were taught was even possible and we haven't been given the tools and the sex education to understand. what to do, how to breathe, how to be with our partner and ourselves and our body.

in a way that allows it to be really generative and sustainable. Um, and that's what we're here to do, is to share some of these tools. And in this short podcast, just to sprinkle, I guess, a little a little bit of candy in there, a little glimmer into what's possible and why you might want to explore some of these other ways of being with our sexual energy and um get to have that experience for ourselves because once you've tasted it, there's no going back.

Yeah, let's all breathe into that. Ah, appreciate you sharing. Uh I know that that's, you know, very personal, um, that share with some of your sexual experience with your partner and uh yeah, really celebrating you and that and I know that a lot of those states, those experiences aren't something

that we necessarily force or anything. It's those things just happen. As we we talk a lot about that. I'd love to actually uh double click on that real quick because this feels this feels relevant and um

Yeah, go ahead. So that not forcing and not having an end goal is so important and and to share a little more and to be clear, I don't share, you know, these things to brag. It's like it is, you know, um It feels important to to share to some degree these experiences so that we can start to collectively understand there are other ways um to experience sex and that's really the intention.

And what I what I wanna speak to right now since you mentioned it is actually last night during that experience. I had felt like, okay, this has been really enjoyable and it was a little past our bedtime and I was feeling a sense of completion, like, okay, I could happily, you know, come into more stillness here and just ground and cuddle and integrate this energy.

and and call it a night and go to sleep. And so I let my partner know, you know, I was like, Hey, how are you feeling? Like, would you like to start to find a completion here? And she was like Yeah, yeah, okay. But then immediately I felt her body like push into me more and I was like, Well, her words are saying one thing, but her body's saying another and she even kind of laughed and she's like, Oh, I feel like you're you know, you just

pulled some reverse psychology on me and she's like, now I just w I want it even more. And I was like, she's like, How about just one more minute? And I was like, Yeah, okay, baby, of course. And uh and then one minute turned into I don't know how long and it just cascaded into this i incredible energetic orgasm that was like not something either of us was chasing.

It wasn't a goal that we had set out towards. We just wanted to connect after a fun evening that we'd spent together in community and and that little act of actually, and she was speaking to this afterwards. She's like when you said like, Hey, let's like let's come to a completion here.

She's like that ignited something in me that just made me want it that much more and it felt like it just amplified her pleasure and experience and desire. And that's like that's right there, kind of the It's this. paradoxal kind of experience of like actually when we let go of an outcome or a goal, it can have the opposite effect, where now we're just gonna attract that to us even more. So Yeah, what a life lesson too. Not just in the bedroom, right. Yeah, that's beautiful, man.

I know you shared it with me before we hit record too, but just for the record, if you're open to sharing it on recording it here. Um, you guys weren't moving at all, right, in that moment of that very energetic whole body psychedelic orgasm. You were in the stillness that you were referring to earlier, right? Yeah, yeah, so we had come into stillness and I could feel her body was like

was awakening in a in a really powerful way. And so I just held, you know, oftentimes when that's happening, whether it's movement taking place or not. Just keep doing what you're doing because it's working, right? It's like if we're attuned with our partner and we're feeling like, okay, she's opening, she's expanding, she's going into a deep experience of pleasure and likely uh potentially orgasm. Just keep doing what you're doing. You know,

stay the course because clearly whatever you're doing is working. And so I was in a place of stillness at that point and her body started shaking and she was like and I could feel and I was sending the microcosmic orbit through her and I could feel that channel within her really opening up into like this pillar of light. And she was shaking and just it kept expanding and expanding and I was completely still.

inside of her and so I just held that. Stayed the course. And it was m minutes. I I don't know how long, a long time of just like her body just shaking and opening and expanding. and maybe like five minutes. of that and then eventually went into the the convulsing like contractions of an actual um physical orgasm. But it was a very energetic orgas orgasm before that.

And yeah, it was just like, okay, whatever this is, it's clearly working. And I was, you know, in my practice of being with the microcosmic orbit and doing slight little kegels to while still inside of her to kind of pulse that energy and also to ground myself and make sure that I wasn't going to Cascade into my own release because that wasn't my intention for the night, so

Um yeah, just stillness and within that physical stillness, a deep practice of the inner energy. And so like there's also a a juxtaposition there of like it can be we can be completely physically still, but actually we're circulating energy uh internally in in very you know active ways.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that, man. I I'm sure that's a really powerful glimpse into what's possible for a lot of guys listening and Um, you know, we're about to sign off here, or time's just about up, but I just wanted to sprinkle in here as well. You'd mentioned a couple of times the the term psychedelic.

And I would say that's the best way to describe in a nutshell like what this work is. Uh, I'd say practicing semen intention, as we call it, practicing holding on to your semen for a number of days. And it can that can be Massively amplified if you're doing some of the practices. And this, this is the stuff we do in our group training and in our community. We teach you all this stuff.

Um, you can actually build up even more charge with without just holding on to the energy and waiting for it to naturally accumulate. You can actually build it up even faster, but it i the closest thing I say to this is like microdosing mushrooms or something. The the effects it has, it's like this shift in cognition, the shift in your state of being.

It's it's a really powerful accelerant. Um, and as you mentioned, when you go into the bedroom carrying that level of charge, women are so sensitive and they're already very tapped into that space. But when we as men can meet them in that level of sensitivity and attunement and um yeah opening up this next level of experience it

It is such a psychedelic experience that sex can bring and it's so deeply healing, you know, for for us and for our partners. So really appreciate you sharing all this today. Is there any last things you want to say before we sign off? Um I'll just sprinkle in in case anyone's like, I haven't done psychedelics. That kinda makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't know if I want to be walking around feeling like I just took psychedelics.

It's like very, very micro. Like you were saying, it's it's like a microdose and it's also very, very grounded because we haven't taken it taken actually another exogenous substance.

i there's a level of lucidity and clarity and sobriety that also amplified where it's like I can me be with a person and there's a hyper level of presence and coherence and clarity that I'm accessing while also being like opened up to this extra sensory environment where I'm taking in more information from the field than I normally would um yeah if I wasn't vibing at that level.

So yeah. Yeah. Anyways. Well said. Well said it's it's it's it's more like being more ourselves actually than we were before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Thanks for asking. Thanks for tuning in everyone. Yeah. Thanks for thanks everybody for tuning in. Our our time here is a little bit uh short today, but we hope you enjoyed this podcast. If you're interested in our group training, there's another one launching in just a week, the next uh cohort for the month of December. So

Check out our website at Mensexualmastery.com, drop an application on the Elite Group training page. And um yeah, we're wishing you all the best and we'll see you on the next episode. Yeah. Have a blessed day, everyone. Bye now.