Welcome back to another episode of Men explain. And I promise you this time around, he has nothing much to explain because he looks clueless like the moment he walked in.
Here's the thing men explaining. Haven't exactly gotten a very good reputation in the last five years
to make it better,
make it better. I'm not here to explain. Not mansplaining. Yes,
exactly. That's the reason. That's the reason you're here. Please welcome
Hey, what's good? What's good? What's good?
Okay. I don't know what's been going on. But recently, all the shows that I've been hosting and you've been the guest on related to health related problems.
It's like you guys want to tell me I'm old. But like you guys wanna hinted to me, you know, it goes like what if your eyesight gets bad after you pass 35? I'm like, does
that sound like that? No, no, no.
You don't
usually
passed 36. Your iris starts to lose power. What? And then this
is on another show. Let's talk about health by the way. Catch it still on me watch. Yeah. Past
The 15 adds that. You have to go through.
Exactly. Exactly. But here's the thing. Here's the thing today we're talking about something very very, very difficult to talk about amongst men. It's about male menopause have
What's okay? I am not very familiar with male menopause.
What do you think of the bets? What do you think? Male menopause is.
Listen sonia, I am obligated
by
the mail, by the contractual mail. By the by the male union. All
right to
tell you that. Men don't suffer from any health issues when it comes to anything below the waist? We're all good. We're fine. We can talk about it. It's very
sensitive. This is why we need to talk about
this. Is this is why. And now you're prying in like the secrets right? Of of what we go through. I am not aware that men go through menopause. I didn't think so. I always thought it was a problem that didn't affect men. You know, we never used it, you know, to our advantage when we lose our temper.
Excuse you
see that? You see that first of all?
Yeah. So, so are you saying that you've experienced this before? Like with a partner or with you know family members? I would I would like to think that
I'm very far from the age that would experience this. But the only thing I can do is just guess. Right? So what I'm guessing you say is that when um when when a man experiences something at the point of his life where he is no longer um fertile.
Right? I
think menopause is when women are not fertile anymore. Right? That's just that's what that's what happens, right?
You know, I'm not a biology.
Biology just stopped bleeding away.
No, no, no, no. Okay.
What happens to men when men stop. Just don't bust nuts anymore.
No. Okay. So that's the thing based on this? Based on the little knowledge because we also did an episode on another, wow, can we zoom in on that one more time? This
comes
just nothing. No, but that's the thing, right? Because when it comes to testosterone levels, it is a very real problem with some men and we know that things like testosterone deficiency syndrome, I'm talking like an expert, but it's all the stuff that I learned from the health show.
Exactly,
and a lot of guys may not even notice that they're going through menopause, that they're even experiencing symptoms of male menopause.
It's very difficult to talk about is keeping a straight face. So difficult,
but you see the fact that so difficult, you're like masking it with laughter.
Yes, wow, okay,
so
here's, OK, so here's the thing, I don't know at what point of a man's life where they would normally be dealing with this experience, but I would assume that is generally when you pass a certain age that I'm guessing maybe in the late thirties, there have been people who I can only speak for the community that I'm in, you know, um in the community that I'm in, which is the which is the fight community, right? People who usually are some some of them experienced low testosterone, you
know?
Well, you know, I'm not sure why, I'm not sure why, I guess everybody's everybody varies when it comes to the health, respectively. Right? But the conversation of going to get your blood tested to test your test levels and to see if you can go for testosterone, like boost or replacement therapy is not an uncommon conversation amongst the people in the community really. Okay,
so, so tell me more about these gym locker conversations.
Okay,
let
me see, how do I, as I mentioned, the conversation of getting your test levels tested in the jujitsu is not something uncommon, and the reason is because I think as we reach a later stage of our physical health, we find that we, there are certain things that we do or Certain things that we want to achieve that are taking a slower time to happen as opposed to when you
were younger. So when I was probably 19 or 20 or maybe in my early 20s, the healing process of like a muscle sprain or a bruise even or or a pulled muscle
bounce back immediately
almost immediately, you know? But like I noticed that now it doesn't okay now I know which muscles I can hurt and which muscles will take a
longer time to hurt. So I kind of for a very long time, I kind of understand my body really, so I understand that if, okay, so if I do this a certain workout and after like one day it's still so I know what to do to make this all go away, you know, So, but for the recovery runs and all that kind of stuff, but I wouldn't deny that the time that it takes for me to achieve, like 100% is slower than it was before? So I'm thinking actually to go get my blood tested to see
my test level
test levels. Yeah, I google a lot. So, and everybody, whatever
your answer to everything,
you know, everything you google is real. So when
trustworthy.
So so google tells me is one of the symptoms of low testosterone is when a man loses his sex drive
and I haven't
exactly been experiencing that problem.
Okay, it's fine. This is an open book.
Exactly. We're experiencing a problem. In fact, I've been experiencing the opposite of that problem.
Okay, on that point now let's expand that point. No,
but one of the, you know, okay, I hate to be talking about my hair, but one of the, one of the reasons why men lose hair is usually because they have high testosterone. This is what doctors, the doctor told me this
means
you
shaved my choice, my choice. I never asked you. I never asked.
So here we
are. Again. I mean, why would I ask you that on all the interviews we've ever had. We've never brought this up.
You never brought up my head
actually, that was
One of the reasons why I appreciated 97 because you never mentioned my,
Just took five steps back, to be fair. He brought it up. He brought it out himself. I
want to know one of the symptoms of having to higher testosterone is that you have hair loss? I
had no clue. Did you, did you, did you hear this from a medical professionals,
for doctors? So one of the things that you need to do to, to, to to regulate that is to take this pill called proficiency Propecia regulates your testosterone or maybe lowers it. But the problem is it kills your dick. So,
so you
want to have a full head of hair, right? And it's not
working. You chose
you. I chose, I chose, I chose, I chose, I chose I chose the
so I so this is all going up.
So, so now now that I'm here, right? I appreciate it and I've always realized that why I guess it, it answered my question as to like, okay, why when it comes to like sports, like I'm not the most athletic, but I'm also like not unathletic,
you're like competitive as well and you enjoy the show. So
I'm somewhere in the mid range and I'm like, okay, maybe this is why I'm not having problems with it because I have good test levels, right? But I'm not going to deny that as I reach an older stage of my life, I think to myself, I wonder what the test levels look like now, You
know, there's a good thing that you're thinking about these things because for a lot of men, they may not even think of going to get such a test done right? You know, they may not even come to that, and also it comes in the little things to like, do you get irritated easily, you know, there's also like what is called irritable Male syndrome, as as what I heard is what I read earlier. Like you find yourself it's all news to me, Sonja, do you find yourself
easily irritated, irritable, irritable? Yes, I am s
there's
a there is a women suffer from that, like you get irritated by men like you need it, that's not a syndrome, it's effect, it's every day you're irritated
by us, like shouldn't this effect you want? Okay, so when you say male syndrome, I assume that it is something that makes the man irritated more easily.
So yeah, more than usual. So frustration, anxiety, you know, maybe you're having a meltdown or something that's that's hypersensitive in that point in time,
I honestly don't know if I want to relate that to the to the snowball of things that happen or to me on the everyday like in life or I want to relate that to a chemical imbalance that is happening that will relate to what you're seeing right now, which is I. M
s. I.
M s because if there's one thing I've learned is you can't really blame, I mean it is not wise to blame behavior on chemical imbalance, so I'll try to be like you know what, maybe some things are happening, Maybe I need to fix those things around me first before. I blame it on the medical condition.
Have you ever gotten yourself in a situation where you sort of implied?
Yeah,
maybe because you're on a,
I only said it once in my life to my, to my housemate and she almost threw a rock at me. So I'm like, you're just proving my point. But
yes, I know,
but that was the point where actually I laughed it off, but I kind of realized that maybe I shouldn't
have said that. I
shouldn't have said that because she was being very, she was very irritable, you know, and I was wondering like, hey man, these are just little things why you so irritated you, You know, and she's like, what did you say?
What? We could
laugh it off because we are friends. But at the same time I did go back to my room and
like I said
that that was probably the moment
where you thought
that was kind of out of pocket.
So
back to what you were saying when it comes to irritable male syndrome. I don't exactly, I'm not exactly aware as to what that would be.
So I've got some common symptoms over here. I'm going to read them out to see if you've ever felt this way any friends.
Okay, let's go.
Okay. Here we go. Um, easily irritable. We've already said hot flashes. Have you ever felt like a hot flash before. No good. You're good. How about reducing flushes
is like how how flushes is
like I've never actually experienced that. So I don't really know what
you meet someone and you
feel the warmth like creeping up your neck. Is it when
you're embarrassed? All right.
Maybe maybe out of nowhere sort of
hot flashes
reduced energy. Do you ever not feel energetic?
Yeah, but usually when I'm bored, okay, just like this is boring and then
you're like, let me just know somewhere. Okay, low sex drive already talked about that. And you said you have no, no issues,
no issues
like a doctor. And also I think there could be a sign of like depression or anxiety and stuff
like that. That could
also be a sign of some imbalance or certain things changing.
Just comedian syndrome.
You know, when you say that like I get worried too because you know,
the job of a comedian is to over is to, is to analyze something objectively and find the ridiculousness in in the same topic or the thing that they're observing. So it's hard for us to pretend sometimes. So because of that may be, it may lead to like certain levels
of depression, but
it's not things that I haven't managed. Like, I mean I still go to therapy and stuff. So so you know, and and, and and and therapy really helps, right, But I've never exactly been in a point in my life where I thought to myself, I need to I need to take something because I have a chemical imbalance, you know, but but I have been considering the test test testosterone test because I realized that if you boost your test, you know, you could get some dope muscles.
So I'm thinking it's on some Captain America, you know, like
you're gonna lose your beard after
that.
No, don't quote me on
that. Will I lose my beard? I got to ask the doctor,
but real talk real talk. So you know, you you talk about this and we talked about depression and how it links to irritable male syndrome and all that. And I think sometimes because we see you persona, you know, you're always so happy go like you're making people laugh all the time. That must take a lot of energy out of you as well. Could it does it does it affect you in that sense? Do you think that sometimes you use it as a defense mechanism in real life? I think
it's it's so like muscle memory at this point on one end, I would love for people to understand what's going on in my head. But on the other hand, I feel a certain responsibility to make sure that they are entertained
while they're listening to it. I don't believe in just protecting your brain from any kind of conflict To me that is like then you are really softening your your your character, you know, because if you protect your brain for everything and any single conflict that happens to you only you crumble into this spiral, then you're not allowing your brain to build any kind of resilience which is very harmful to you in the long run.
So certain things I guess when when when when I grow I try to like die, die like you know when they say it's very toxic for men to always tell other men to suck it up. But at some level we kind of have to suck it up because the reality of the world is the things cannot go if we don't suck it up to some level. You
know to some
level of course when it becomes harmful to us, then men should really sit down and talk about it, you know and cry in no view of other women, you know like
just you know, your five closest
five closest friends cry while you are the friends. You're so soft bro. It's not a very broad thing to do man, let's eat nails. That's
exactly a typical conversation
and watch some football Brochu. But but behind all that behind all that I I find that that I think there is a certain level of mere responsibility for us to understand our position ah and find a balance between resilience and being open with your feelings. So going back to what you're saying, which is irritable male syndrome or or things things things that have to do with, with things that have to do with, like the male health, mentally and physically. It's
difficult to talk about with other guys sometimes.
Yes, I do feel I sometimes will then like, we'll try and find a connection as to why let's see if I'm feeling depressed or in fact, if I'm feeling insecure about about myself, I feel like, okay, maybe I feel like I'm a little too old. I feel like I'm fat or I feel like I'm not, I don't look good and I'll be like, alright, what can I do to change these things? If I'm fat, then I think, okay, am I too fat? Right? Okay. I'm not too fat. I still can do it. So
maybe I'll try and incorporate an active lifestyle. Okay, let me maybe we'll just not eat like a bastard. You know, maybe
we'll
just eat like a regular person
for
a change and not take spoon scoops of nutella and jam it in our throats. Like
this is a personal story. I feel this is from some personal experience. Look at
myself, jerry, spoon scoops of nutella in my face sometimes
and
I just feel shame in my heart, that nutella in my hand. You
see you see many chocolate many women are similar than in many ways. You know, we always talk about this entire show, right? We talked about how many women can be so different, but here's where we have officially bridged the gap. Like you have just on behalf of your bros that you admitted to us that they were not that much different after all because for us girls were very open about these things. Like you know, if I'm, if I'm upset or I feel depressed or if I'm feeling down about it or I feel I
feel fat or I feel ugly whatever. We voice it out super easily to our girlfriends and we can sit down and talk about it all day and we'll sit there and reassure you how beautiful you are all day. Do you guys do that for each other?
My surrounding takes the opposite approach. So I am the man, they're gonna so love this when you watch this. I am the,
you be the
heaviest of the group, right? And they want to say fat shape. They do, they fat shame but they fat shame with love. It's not fat shame that will leave me walking out of there feeling like ship, especially in that will leave me like, oh man, these guys are you know, they're, they're my friends, they're my real friends are such, there's such bastards. That's what they report me all the time. So and the thing is because it's always done with you Yeah, that it makes me aware of the situation, okay,
I'm getting a little heavy. I can, I can sense that, you know, like for example, like if you're doing it doesn't, it has a lot of body pressure involved and then sometimes I'm like, oh man, I could really feel the pressure man, like stuff like that, you know, it's better or do you just get bigger? You know, that kind of stuff, you know? Yeah, and and and it's but it's things that I guess in a way we keep each other in check. I wouldn't really call it shaming, even though we do
call it shaming among ourselves. But it's something that we we understand, I guess to a point where like we don't want to allow our friends to like cross that line where it's like there's no turning back, you know, because it takes a lot of effort to get to a point where you can turn back. So we're kind of like looking out for a friend, like you know, Like if you still want to do this spot is gonna like, you know, if you want to fight at 76 and 85, it's gonna be very hard for you
to cut back to 76. So maybe just stay within the 78 range. You know that stuff
like that? That conversation
conversation maybe just stay within the 78 80 range so that if you cut you only have to cut five kg, some stuff like that. So I started telling myself that, okay, you know what you live an active lifestyle, you know, you you do jujitsu and then, you know, I do stand up, you know, and a lot of the times that I have quite
a healthy social life. So most of the time I don't think that if I'm doing all these things right then I shouldn't really be insecure about the outcome that it provides because you know, for you to achieve like the six pack washboard at body. Listen, it's too
much,
it's listen, like I wanted to but to maintain that is so
kind of
life that you have to live to maintain that it's just not aligned with what keeps me happy.
This is the thing about men, right? Like a lot of the time an image or a wall is put up for a lot of people and I'm not saying all because I know of some like very you know, men who are very in touch with their feelings, so don't mind sharing, who don't mind admitting like oh yeah, I did this or spiraled or like that, or I feel fat, you know that kind of very open conversations but amongst
men sometimes it's tough to talk about these things. Do you think it's embarrassing if you and your guy friends ever raised the topic of like how your testosterone levels? You
see the the issue here is I want to call it issue but the predicament here is that we're always were seen as we are only seen as the strongest and we are only seen as the most men when we are able to displace strength and we are able to provide. So any kind of weakness, whether it be emotional or physical will then indicate that there could be a possibility where we could not provide as
much as we could before. Or we will become less of a provider and the lesser and lesser A man is able to provide the less leverage he has on the people around him. You know, like sad truth, la like if if a grandfather is poor and his old, most of the time he is ignored, you know, he's not taken care of, but if it's a rich grandfather that has inheritance, everybody wants everybody suddenly care, want to take care of him, right?
If he had not built that for himself to have leverage over his kids and his grandkids, would they have shown him the same amount of love that if he was a poor grandfather,
that's a that's a that's a big question. I think there are two ways of seeing it. I mean, that I don't disagree with you. I mean, I have also seen and witnessed such situations, such family situation before. But also I like to believe there's a portion of people out there with a good head on their shoulders and that's
always that's always what we prefer to understand that I would like to
know that there are people out there, I
think maybe because you were related to the things that you see around you and the people you see around you and what I personally have observed is that okay once a man is unable to provide ah he slowly but surely loses his position among the people around him.
It's interesting that you mentioned that like on that note because my friends and I were having this chat as well because you know our families, our moms or dads, our grandparents, you know, most of our grandparents may not even be around anymore, but our direct parents for example and aunts, uncles, they're getting older to a point where maybe retired already, they're not working anymore. And one common factor that I found amongst my friends
and I will be saying that our dads right? Some of their debts to are experiencing anxiety and depression because they feel like useless, you know what I mean? Which also relates to this because I feel like it isn't just about the age, it's also about feeling irrelevant or feeling I cannot provide for my family
anymore. That
causes them to spiral into depressive feelings and could also lead to a lot of problems
For 20 plus years. You were the man of the house, you were the source of income. You are the source of strength and you you are the protector, you know of this establishment that is called a family and then your kids grow up and then now they can do it for themselves and then then but then you don't have any upper hand because you've raised them to be better than you. So once they have become better than you, you don't feel like you are of any use anymore.
And that is very common experience among older men and that will contribute to I guess the menopause or depression or the low testosterone and that will contribute to that.
And the thing is, you know, based on some research, it is not as uncommon you think, and a lot of people go untreated because they don't even realize that this is connected could be connected to male menopause as we call it actually called. Andropause, but they may not even realize that right, which really gets me feeling quite emotional sometimes because I look at my own, you know,
family members, my
own uncles and it's like, well it's a very real thing.
Yeah. And it's something that that that men experience that meant that the experience which is honestly, I don't know if it's in in in an asian and environment that you don't really talk about your feelings that much. You know, it's very difficult and so complex, you know, for for somebody to even begin to tell you why they are feeling that
away at that point of their life. And it's very embarrassing also for for a man because like for us to be men, we have to be strong, we have to be, you know, we have to be complete, you know, and that indicates that we are less than complete and but how much lesser by a lot actually. And it's very embarrassing for us to expose that also, sometimes
I know right? Like you mentioned that you go to a therapist. So a lot of men and and you know, even my own girlfriends and their their their partners, you know, sometimes they're resistant to the idea of going for therapy. I know it's still something that is slowly normalizing, opening up more people are going what pushed you to go for your first therapy session?
I think I'm just trying to be responsible to the people around me. You know, like if I am feeling a certain way and if I am exhibiting certain kinds of behavior, I feel like ah of course I will understand that none of you would be equipped to handle it because you you can't, I can't expect you to sit down and pride through from start to finish what's going on, right? Um, fortunately for me, I I have the means, you know, and therapy is very expensive in Singapore for you to get
a good therapist is very expensive. But I have, I have the means that I have the friend who opened up a company and he said, oh we're making it a little bit more affordable for people, right? And so when I went, not today, I've been to therapy before, but fortunately for me as a comedian, we are able
to take things and dissect things objectively, right? So I was like I'm going to get my hours with, I'm going to do the dissecting by myself, really figure out the source and just come to you like this is the problem,
how to fix their response. What was that?
Like they
cool story, but let me do it from not really,
they were actually quite impressed that that I take away some, it's one thing, but also the ego that's evolved in you not wanting to see the real problem, you know, sometimes you there's that self denial in you that doesn't
know is that,
but you don't really want to see it. So so okay, so the reason why I went is because I wanted to be responsible to the people around me, I'm like I know the kind of why I'm bringing you know, and I know the kind of priorities that I'm putting and I am aware of how I'm making your feel, so I don't know how to fix it, I don't know why it's like that, but let me go and find out and I'll come back to you, so that's just me being responsible and me to be honest, low
key expecting that from people who are like that around me, So if you're like that and I can't fix you and I expect you to like, okay, find that help for yourself so that we can we can be together again and communicate again, you know,
not everyone is at that level of understanding though, I feel
yeah, for a lot of it starts off with one thing the approval of the people around you, wanting the approval of like the audience, I wanted people to like you, so I think it started from, oh man, if I want people to keep liking me, I gotta find out what's wrong with myself, but then I soon realized that that's not a good motivation because you can't really control whether people like it or not, you kind of have to control whether you like yourself or not. So I started working on that instead.
That's great advice coming from you because I've always thought about this, like, you know, we go to your shows and any sort of entertainment to unwind, to relax, to laugh, but who do you turn to,
basically, I think for me, I'm a person that enjoys a social setting, I enjoy socializing, I enjoy laughing with friends, you know, and
you turn to them in times of you're close to a lot of comedians out there as well, but do you guys talk about this kind of personal stuff, like if you're not, you know, you're curious about like, oh I'm not feeling too good bro, like
we do, we do, we do, I think when when, when I was, when I experienced a lot of losing my life, a lot of comedians will come through and and they will, they will see and they will listen um a lot of times we, we give each other space, you know, to express ourselves, some of them are still not comfortable doing it I guess, but everybody varies that personally.
I don't find any weakness anymore at this point I don't find any weakness in exposing your vulnerable side because to me is if I expose my vulnerable side to you, then there is no way that you can hurt me already because I have then used it as my strength, you know, I have used what I am insecure about or what I am worried that you will find out about and I've used it to my strength, I have shown you what could hurt me and if you still hurt me,
it's fine because I've already said it already said it, so that's what a lot of the culture that we try and build, like, you know, if we could make fun of the things that hurt us, then at least it's within a safe space where we know we won't
hurt each other too bad. So when we go go out and people ask, you know, we're ready and equipped for that, that is some kind of mental resilience building, but it's it's natural, it doesn't happen like because we want to be strong, it just happens because it just happens, but
it's nice to know that you guys have the support system and you do it because I think from the outside looking in people are always wondering, wow, like you know, in the entertainment industry or like even comedians specifically, you guys never have a bad day, you know, people always think always of course,
but that's
the thing that people don't see about the entertainment industry, not even about you know, stand up, even in my line of work as well, I mean the amount of times joking and I have come into the studio and we had like the shittiest day ever or like you know either one of us got relationship problems just broke up, somebody did something, you know
like you got to put on a you still have, you still have to
go, you
still have to play Miley Cyrus, you still have to
Exactly,
Black Eyed Peas is the one, I don't
know what, so that's that's the thing, right? People just have this impression.
Yeah, I think it's important for for for for us to even and this is one thing that I've realized that it's also very important if you want to maintain an environment that is healthy and that is that is healthy for you and it's interesting for you, if nobody is texting you, if nobody is showing you love then maybe it's your turn to show them, you know, maybe it's because receiving a message for someone just saying hi, how are you? What's up? Want to go out, it feels nice, right?
If nothing is coming this way, then maybe you need to put the energy out, put the energy out because the outcome of it is something that you want. If you ask somebody out, somebody didn't ask you out. But because of ego, you don't want to ask the person out. But you think to yourself like, you know what, like I want to go out, you know, I wanted. So then you send out messages
energy that you want to receive
Eventually the five friends that you message or the 10 friends
that I mean, you know, this
one will come through, right? Like this guy, but
you're like, okay, this
guy, this
guy was hoping this will
be the last choice, but
then
eventually you will have something to do. So I always believe that last time I used to wear and at the end of the day I'll be like, nobody's calling me, but then again, I'm not calling anybody. So how am I different from them? You know,
Honestly, this is, this blows my mind because I've never actually sat down with you for a conversation like this before. I never knew this side of you and I don't want to of course attributed to, I mean where your millennial were both in the millennial stage, right? I feel like for millennials and gen z, they might be a little bit more open to talking about feelings and stuff. Do you think it's a generational problem and we're trying to slowly break away from that? Is that where you feel that
way? You know, my dad doesn't necessarily talk about his feelings that much. I don't think he was raised in that environment.
Exactly right.
However, my mom has always promoted that among us, although she may not necessarily understand the complexities that that, that she's hearing because all her kids are in show biz so she doesn't necessarily, she tries to understand but I don't think she can fully grasp what's going on. Um as far as generation gap is concerned, like among some friends, I do see that that okay, it's hard for you to talk to your friends about feelings and stuff. But
I am very, very
pleasantly surprised by the number of people, especially in places that I wouldn't think exist. You know, like the fight world and they're very open with how things how things make them feel. But they always discuss it objectively. Not in a way like, like to me it's like you can talk about your feelings but I will never burden you with the what do I do? I always tell you like, okay, I am looking for
a solution. You know, if I don't have a solution then I would ask if you could suggest anything, it will never be a dead end at the end of that conversation. That's what I'm saying and that's where I feel the burden comes? You know when somebody throws you like look at me and my problems and what do you want me to whatever you said all this to me when your life is sad and then the next day your life is sad again then the day after. And then slowly if you hear this person
complaining and
complaining and complaining, you will slowly distance yourself away from that and people will start distancing themselves because he's not here, she's not looking for a solution
and they end up alone. And then when they end up
alone, they spiral and they wonder like, oh I guess my life is sad. But the one thing that they fail to see is that people just need to see that you're trying to get yourself out and you have to verbalize that so that people know and being capable of verbalizing your feelings is one of the things that I think everybody should learn.
You you don't have to use big words. You know, you can you can use the language that you understand, but it's always very important to sit with yourself and if you're not feeling good, you're saying like why what is it? And then and and be honest with the person that you think would not and that you know will not judge you based on how you feel right
Now. I agree with you and I'm glad to hear that you know, in your various friend groups including the fight world, they are so open to chatting about these things because according to some interesting numbers that
survey survey
survey, 60% of men only see a professional when symptoms become unbearable.
So
until oh, I really can't deal with it
anymore. Are we still talking about menopause?
Yeah, it could be anything. Honestly. It could be anything. 20% of men confessed that they only see a professional after their partners nag at
them. That severe.
Okay. Most men think or maybe this isn't my business. So I really don't have anything I want to say. But results differ from different generations. So the boomers prefer not to talk about health issues
because they're going to die, but
joe. But the gen X and millennials say that they have at least one friend that they can speak with regarding intimate health related issues, which is what you brought up. So I think a lot of experts and doctors out there, even though this is not primarily a health show, clearly we're just as clueless as the other. But a lot of professionals out there trying to educate men about taking care of their health better, especially their intimate life. It's very difficult to talk about sometimes.
I think about like the like boomers right? Like parents sometimes I think about like think about them and when it comes to them and feelings they have spent so long of their lives getting through life without having to address their feelings Therefore, for them to do that at this point of their lives. It's too it's too late. It's too it's too much muscle memory and it's too much carelessness that has formed for them to even try and break the habit.
So that's the thing. So when it comes to the older generation, it isn't even about men or women, whatever could be either I've got some relatives who, you know, they like chronic pain everywhere. It could be like that pain like this pain my feet, they cannot walk properly. Like climb stairs anymore. They will also have you gone for a checkup? No need,
no.
They're like, no, I want to find out. It's okay. So it's the mentality like maybe they're already pushing 70 or 70 plus. They're like, you know what? Forget it. I just want to know anymore. I'm just gonna live the rest of my life in pain because
once you find out and then your brain starts to think, you
deteriorate. So that could be the reason why they don't want to share too
much. You
know, it's not just a pride thing, right? You know, I'm so glad that we saw this different side of you here today fuzz, it's been great. It's been great and I don't I don't know what to expect coming into this podcast, we've done a good amount of stuff together. I've interviewed you many times, always about different things. You know,
you're very hype. You know, usually in a setting like
this is just got a new show, Tell us about yourself first internet, you know with a fake plant behind the rug. My shelf behind here. That's very intellectual. So what some what are some tips you want to share with your bros out there? You see, you seem to have grasped the concept pretty well of you know, not just understanding yourself, but also the dynamic amongst your your other guy friends as well. Anything you want to share with with our dudes out there,
I think what's most important for a lot of men to understand is that we have to see what is the main objective whenever we're feeling uneasy or we're feeling disturbed by something negative. So for example, if you are feeling jealous, it's because let's say if you're feeling jealous when your when your partner is talking to someone else, um the jealousy doesn't just stem from her talking to someone else.
It also stems from the insecurity that you are feeling towards yourself and you are, it stems from the fear of you losing her to someone better than you because you don't feel like you're good enough. It stems from you fearing that everything that you've built with this partner, it will be ruined based. You know, just just this is
just one example, right? Because of a temptation. So when you create that narrative in your head, it brings you to a worse place than if you actually went up to her and was honest with your feelings and it's very important that you communicate and tell them that this is not an attack when you do this, this is how I feel, you know, and I guess it's still a two way thing where where they will be like, would you like me to reassure you that this wouldn't happen and and
then that you opened up the possibility for her to do that, you know, just by speaking to her or just by addressing your feelings and take that concept and apply it to the many things that you could do in your life. That's just one concert which is relationships when you were talking about work, you know, you can always be honest with the people at work, even if the honesty means that it makes you look like
you are you it makes you look vulnerable sometimes. That is that sometimes that move can can propel you forward because now you are in a more comfortable space to move If you if I'm making sense.
Talking about relationship issues or emotional related stuff, it's for men also like when it comes to the health issues and the mental health issues as well, you know, most physical and mental, it can be very challenging to bring up and I think you brought up some very good points as well being open and honest, it never hurts, it never
hurts. In fact, I mean the cliches will set you free. You know, it really does a lot of times because at the end of the day we, the the ego doesn't really pay, it doesn't, you know, the returns you get from keeping your ego is, it's not really worth it. It's not really worth anything.
And these health issues, you know, both mental and physical could happen to anyone at any age, You know, and we, I personally know a guy that's even younger than me who's have, who's suffering from certain issues and he did not want to open up about it for three years, three years he suffered and did not speak to anyone until he found a trusted friend to talk to. So you're absolutely
Right. Yeah. Physical. Like I started bawling at 25 and 40 year old. How old are you again? Yeah
just like I did this by
choice. But then when I found out the reason I'm like, man, listen,
that's my
reason. I tell you what, I'm losing this hand. Let me tell you what, I'm
happy to tell you
first.
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