Should men always pay on the first date?

Hey, it's sonia. It's been a hot minute since we came back for men explained, but we are officially back in case you forgot me already, which you better not have, I will come and look for you. We really have amazing guests to come on down and join us every single episode to debunk lots of topics and on top of that we get really down and dirty and honest, literally all opinions are aired and there's no holds barred

I'm, I'm from the Chinese radio station. Just 93.

Yes, so you are basically the mandarin version of 987. We kind of reflect each other in that sort

of, we play like the hip chinese songs you love, you know, if

you have no clue what is a hip chinese song right now, please try me.

Okay, how about Right?

No, I know it's the only guy I,

you know, you're a new album, just

has a new album. Right, okay, this is us just catching up on like radio DJ things. Okay, but tell us a bit more about yourself, you know, we never really got down to sit like this and chat. I mean, I know we had like some shots together last

time, some just

some enough to not remember the night

you sober, totally,

totally sober. So tell us a bit more you came into this industry, is it at all what you expected?

I don't know when I came into the industry was technically about 5 to 6 years ago when I first step we made a cop that was after the competition. So I was from the same batch as hazel, right? And then we joined the competition together. I got a part time contract with me, The cop started doing part time, like a weekend DJ kind of thing. I did my internship here as well and then I left for army and uni. So I came back after about five years

I mean their ups and downs for sure. And this is going to be an equally interesting experience because sometimes our guests have no idea what's going to happen during the show and today we're addressing this topic and I'm sure you have tons of things you want to say. Should men always make the first move? Should men always pay on the first date? For example, these things, I don't know man, I think their expectations in a relationship and when people start dating and all that.

No, you're

not really Not really. Okay. When was the last time you went on a date date? Oh,

last time was not too long ago actually.

Okay, so then in your dating life, have you ever encountered people who maybe expect a certain thing out of their male partner?

I think I'm quite lucky, to be honest. I've never met anyone who set out any expectations for me as a partner, but I've heard a lot of stories about similar things, like in terms of financial status, in terms of, um, I don't know your dreams and your goals in life, that sort of things.

So, so far, your dating experience has been very chill and most of them are on the same page as you,

I will say. So what about you?

Um, it's interesting. I mean, I usually date older guys and I mean, I think my life is an open book at this point on men explain so far, you know, I as a partner, I don't expect someone to get the bill on the first date. In fact, interesting thing when I started talking to my current boyfriend, I actually manipulated him to ask me out for dinner.

Yes, I'm

using the word manipulated like 100% okay, so here's what happened. He and I met and then we were talking, you know, texting quite a bit and stuff like that, but he didn't ask me out for like two weeks. That is like two years in girl years, you know what I mean, girl time and then all of a sudden he, he goes, hey, you want to hang. So it's like, you know, cool. Right? So I said, okay, sure, when, when you free, he's like, you want to do lunch, lunch, lunch,

lunch,

okay. You tell me what's for

lunch? I don't know that that's, that's what I say, like half the time you want to go to a cafe for breakfast or something

and that's your idea of a first date.

No, I know I've been making some mistakes, clearly.

Okay. I don't know whether it's because my idea of getting to know someone on a first date would rather be a bit formal. Like over dinner, over a longer meal. Like lunch feels like he has a very valid excuse to rush off. Like right after that. You know what I mean? Am I overthinking it? I don't know sister, help me out here.

That's quite valid. Right?

Yeah, it is valid. So I was thinking to myself, this guy isn't really keen on getting to know me much better. So then I said, you know what, all my lunch dates out for the next two weeks, I'm like super busy. So do you want to meet for dinner instead? And then he goes, yeah, sure, okay. And so I asked him about it a while later, I said like how come you didn't ask me out to dinner, asked me for lunch. He said, I just wanted to like, I wasn't sure whether it will go

awesome. Okay.

These are like our deepest, darkest thoughts.

Thanks for sharing.

Yeah. Welcome,

lovely to know. But I always thought that it doesn't make too much of a difference. It's lunch or dinner, but now I know it actually matters and I also didn't know that two weeks is like two years to go. Very slow replying. So that's the first thing

you're slow in replying

extremely slow. My friends always say I'll just send a pigeon or dove to you. That's faster. And secondly, I also think that, you know, I don't want to rush into things. I don't want to seem too eager. Okay, so just take it slow.

Okay, so you've got to find it in between the guys taking too long to reply me. I'm also going to be like, maybe I should move on

clearly. I have not mastered that.

So then let's take you back to the first date situation. Do you have any expected of your date when you guys first meet and go out.

Okay. There's one I think it's like a pet peeve for a lot of people is how they treat service stuff. I think that matters a lot. Right? On the first day, it doesn't matter whether it's a normal restaurant or go to very posh diner, that sort of things. You just want to see the way they treat the waiter for example. Yeah. Let's say they get your food order wrong, Let's say they're a little bit slow with the service, you know, how would they react? I think it's very important.

It is, it's very telling of someone's character. Have you come across someone like this in your dating in

a good way or bad way?

In a bad way? I guess

not in a dating sense, but I have friends who have done that.

Are you still friends? Yeah, I

did speak to the friend afterwards was like, that was uncalled for for a little bit. Yeah.

Safe to say that if a date did that, it would be a red flag immediately for

you, I guess. Yeah, I've done like wedding banquets

before. You

see the way that people treat us? We had a wedding banquet,

was it? It was bad.

Yeah, I mean it was a pretty tough job as well. You got to carry loads of plates and the longest was about 16 hours in a day. And then you learn to appreciate people working at F&;B. Industry.

Sure, no wonder that is your pet peeve, right? Because you've had experience with its like production companies and stuff like that when you work with them bringing you back to your red flags, which is, you know the service staff thing, like you mentioned earlier. What are some expectations you think women have of men on the first date,

the first thing probably be, who's going to pay the bill when the bill comes usually will be the guide. Okay.

Usually used to that.

Yeah, I think it's the norm. Right?

So has your date ever offered to pay?

Yeah. I was like, who offered to pay?

Did you offer to split or?

Okay. So what I think is I will always offer to pay for the first date. Okay. No matter what we got right, I would just, whenever the bill comes, I'll pay for it first. And then if the girl suggests splitting the bill or she offers to pay instead, I'll just take it as a huge plus point

Really because I have some friends whom I've spoken to, whom I asked if your date offers to split the bill. Does that mean that the date went horribly and you just don't want to owe anyone anything at the end of the day? Yeah. Am I overthinking, I have no idea if that's

the case then all my dates have been horrible. I'm sorry.

He needs to, he needs to be set up on a, on a date very soon. Honestly,

I thought it's very normal. Like the guy will always offer to pay first and then you just kind of like glance over the girl and see whether she wants to make a little move? Yeah. Like a sudden movement, like pretend to take a walk or something that counts.

At least pretend,

right? At least pretend,

right? You

slowly yeah

away from something

you see the motion. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You can judge a person's character from there.

But I know sometimes let's say the girl does not offer to pay for dinner, right? When she says maybe you can grab a drink,

okay. Then she gets the

drink gets

positive. I like that movie. So then let's just say, you know, aside from getting the bill on the first date, there's so many other expectations that people have for each other. I'm going into a relationship or when they start dating and all that. When you come to the texting phase, right? When people, you know, exchange messages usually that's the most exciting part when you're like flirting and stuff like that. Usually you would be the one making the first move. No.

Yeah, I would say so.

Have you ever come across a woman, a girl who made the first move and you found it refreshing

for sure. Has that happened more than refreshing? It's very welcomed. I would say. I think most of us like guys who are used to making the first move. I'll be texting, asking, asking to go out or whatever, right? And then when a girl turn the table around and she does it first, you'd be like, whoa, that's nice. Who doesn't I want to feel like they're being liked by someone else. Yeah.

Need to boost your ego a little bit.

Yeah.

So I mean of course we have that too. And then, you know, there's so many other like rules of dating, such as when you text, like, you always have to be the one to initiate stuff like that. Does this still happen? Or is this like a high school

thing I think doesn't happen as often as high school I mentioned last time, it's always like, the guy must make a lot of move. Just

waiting on my Motorola phone, like

for you can't see the text. So I was remember in secondary school, like, a lot of girls in class, they'll be like, oh, he just texted me but no girl, you cannot reply yet must play hard to

get weight

Exactly 22 minutes to reply. And I was like, what the number 23? I don't know, is the magic number

just make it look random?

Yeah, just like, just don't make him feel like you actually want to give him attention.

So as we grow up and we get very busy, we actually don't have time to reply. So, you know, it's a different ballgame altogether. So I'm going to take it one step further. How do you feel about women proposing to men?

Honestly, I don't know what to feel about it. I feel like the whole proposing situation is very stressful. Like, wouldn't it be a little bit paranoid? Okay, let's say you are in the long-term relationship with someone and then you are not 100% sure that the person will say yes and then I wouldn't get a little bit awkward.

I don't know. I personally I don't think too much into proposals and stuff. Like I feel like it should be a moment between two people can be simple. It doesn't have to be extravagant.

Don't you

know, don't don't put the laser beam stuff on MBS

for a balloon or something

or that drone thing. There was this guy, this drone thing like, marry me, please. But she says no. Oh my

God. Or

worse, special to say yes. And then she's like, sorry, actually

met at a concert.

Yeah, like

thousands of people and

jay chou to say something.

You can't say no, right?

You can't say no, you can't say no. I mean you can technically, but you'd be pressured to say yes.

Yeah. But not really.

Yeah, But let me talk later, Let's talk. But I've seen a lot of women now proposing to their partners, which is very interesting. I wonder whether that makes you and fellow bros feel you know, a certain way. Like, do you feel like awkward or like I should have done that, you know, kind of thing.

Yeah. I think a little bit, a little part of us, we feel like maybe I should have made a move first. Is it? Like, am I being too reluctant? Am I too oblivious to to what's going on here. Why am I not the one making the move? Because typically I think we're all taught that the guy should be the one making all the

moves, right?

Such big decisions, especially like proposing. I think it's very refreshing to see ladies take the turn instead. Okay,

so then I guess when it comes back to the whole dating scene, right, when you're going out and you're hanging out and stuff like that, let me give you a situation. So it for example, you guys are deciding where to go for dinner and your date suggests like a super expensive Michelin star restaurant. Okay,

okay, Okay.

Would you be like, Okay to pay for that if it's like 500 per hit? You know? Or do you think that the person who suggested the place should offer to split or pay for it to

honestly have not been put in such a situation before? I can't imagine what it will be like. But honestly, I feel like the two of you should agree on a place that you both want to explore or you're comfortable with financially, right? You can't be walking into a place that you know, you can't afford and you will never financially recover from it and it still offered to

So then if your partner is constantly suggesting expensive places every time you guys are going out, is that a red flag for you?

I think it depends on what is your financial situation, what is this? So if they're running away like way more than you, right, you can understand why they want to go to more extravagant places.

It's a lifestyle. I think

you should, you know, suggest to them that, hey, maybe I don't

enjoy some hawker food today. Chicken

rice is nice too.

It's a balance.

Yeah, I think you should communicate more and let them know that you're not comfortable going out to expensive restaurants every single time

and you have not encountered someone like this before,

luckily yeah,

actually your dating life has been quite team. Any interesting stories or not from your past dates,

defined interest

that you want to spill here on the show.

I feel like I'm still learning the whole dating scene,

really, you're still learning, but he's so eligible. What's going on here? There must be something wrong. Tell me what, what are you, are you like generally an introvert for example, or you're an introvert? Okay, and yet you're in the media,

you know, lovely. And I'm a, I'm a radio DJ, so talk nonstop every day

and technically back in the past, being a radio presenter may have come across as a slightly introverted alone all the time, but now it's different, you're on camera, you know, you are hosting things outside in front of hundreds of people, you're visiting schools, you're doing so many things. Does that or your point or your line of work affect your dating life sometimes. Like do do do women look at you sometimes think like, oh, he must be very fancy or in a lot like, you know, let me,

I'm sure you have experience similar

I have over in Zurich actually the last time we had there was a guy that came up to me and he said, hey, you're sonia. And he was like, hey, let me get you a drink. And I said sure, like sure. And I was just with friends and I wasn't seeing anyone at the point in time. And then he goes, I really want to ask you for your number and I want to ask you out. And he was like, but the only thing that's stopping me is that I'm sure you only at Michelin star restaurants and I was like, okay, that was

you like, but merely a hawker center.

Yeah, I'll be like fine, yeah, I love hawker food, like why not?

Why make that assumption? I

don't know exactly in the first place. So I did tell him like, hey man, I'm sorry, I'm not really interested to continue the conversation but like hope that hope you know that I don't only michelin's tariffs. In fact that is like a rare occasion. So that was my, my incident. I don't know if you have come across anything related to

That. Well I've met a lot of people like we're just in a talking phase and realize that the timing is really hard to match right? So I worked the night shift from eight pm to 12

AM. That's

right. So the only time you can meet them if they are also working adult is after work and before my work starts. So if I do, we have other filming or recording stuff going on that day. I'm technically free before like seven plus PM.

But it makes things hard because people want to hang out like dinner, then drinks

so you can't do that right now. The only time you get to meet them is say after work which is after 12 midnight. Yeah and then they have work tomorrow

exactly how they're going to

do that as we can. But sometimes we go weekend shift as well.

Maybe that's why it's hard for you to be dating so often

should we

appeal to your boss to change shift? They think life can improve after this. I don't know, maybe

I don't think that's gonna happen.

But anyways the thing

is that you just get to meet them about once or twice a week and

is that enough for you?

I'm quite okay at the moment. I think I'm quite focused on my career. Okay. But

on that note, you know, still on dating obviously. What if the girl that you asked what happened to be extremely rich? Like she's like, I don't know, like tycoon's daughter or something? Okay, will that change the dynamic then for you if you guys go out and she wants to get a fancy place and then you go, I'm not sure because you know, I'm still working very hard and hustling out there, but she's like, don't worry, I got it. And it doesn't just happen

think if you pressure right

will you,

what are you bringing to the table here? What are you contributing?

Unconditional love? Obviously. Okay. Okay.

Yeah, I mean that's one thing, but financially, you'll be like, it's quite a burden you're going to make up for it. I imagine your friend, your friend is always the one paying, you feel bad, right? That's what we thought, Yeah, you feel like you owe this person something and you want to make up to them. But I don't know how,

So I mean that is a very common thing nowadays. I see sometimes my friends telling me about these things too for some reason, you know, meeting somebody who's like a lot wealthier than you and stuff could really throw the dynamic off the entire relationship and change certain things. But I wonder if the tables were turned and a girl actually dated an extremely rich guy and he's like, I got it, then we will just be like, okay, all right, well we,

I've had girl friends, a

really rich men,

they'll be like, why not? They'll be like, I'm bringing to the table, it's just me. Like, you know, I put all this time to do my makeup and all so he should appreciate my time and in return he gives me his time plus his money. So I feel like it's fair.

Really interesting. What about gifts though? I wonder if he's always splurging on you like gives versus the other way around. Like, would you feel like you owe her something?

Yeah, for sure. I think even as normal friends, right? You feel a bit weird, let's say for your birthday, your friend gives you a really nice watch and you give him like a tumbler in return. It's the thought that counts technically. Yeah, but you feel a little bit bad because the value doesn't really match at all?

Where do you find friends like that who buy you brand new watchers,

imaginary friends,

they don't actually exist. The tumbler friends exist,

Right? 100

percent. That's for sure. Okay, so I haven't been on dating apps before. Have

you? You

have which ones?

Everything I've tried, where was it? 3, 3, 3 different colors.

Okay, so

yellow one, there's a red one. Purple one, is it? Okay? I think

I'm so unfamiliar with that, but according to a bumble study bubble, sounds like the Yellow one. Is it is it is it 81% of Singapore respondents say that gender roles make people behave differently from who they truly are and 79% say that gender roles make it more difficult to build equal relationships.

slightly different. I think I'm quite introverted, right? So when I'm talking to someone on a dating app, you can't be like all shy and all. You've got to make the first move, you gotta carry the conversation half the time you got to add a little bit more extroverted I guess.

Okay, so,

so that's one part, but I don't think there's any other aspects of it that pretended to be someone that I'm not,

have you met someone who did that before? Like, you know, your experience chatting with a person is almost completely different from in person meeting? Yeah,

there's certainly a few experiences like that, like say the person is very chatty on the app yourself, but when you meet them, they're just like stoning the time you'll be wondering, am I the boring one, am I boring you? Right, what's happening here? Yeah, if you had similar experiences,

you know, once again, I've never been on dating apps

just meeting people after texting them,

you know, I have to say, I have to admit a lot of the guys I did it I met at like clubs, so that's why it's

easy to carry a conversation,

right? Yeah, so you actually, you actually meet someone in person, I don't know whether this is like kind of old school because this is obviously pre pre pre pandemic, right? Like that's the place where you would meet people like bars clubs, you know, you just talk to you, I don't know whether the whole onset the pandemic has changed the way people communicate with each other and made people even more shy or less inclined to make the first

move in person,

I think. So, you know?

Yeah, yeah, that's the only way during the pandemic

is exactly you can't actually meet people. So I feel like people might have taken a few steps back, please correct me if I'm wrong. Might have taken a few steps back in terms of being more forthcoming in person when you meet people

nowadays. Yeah. So I think there's a layer of us that we want to present our best site when you first meet someone.

Yes, of course.

Yeah. But sometimes we go a little bit too much on that and then you're pretending to be someone you're not, which I've heard a lot of stories about the guy is acting really nice and polite and then he's actually really controlling later on, the sort of things,

but only time will tell, right? That's the problem. Like you only know once you start dating them a little bit longer, obviously when it comes to that as well, you would have dated a whole bunch of different types of people all around the shy ones. Independent ones, hit strong ones. Do you feel intimidated by strong, independent women who have, you know, strong opinions.

Not at all.

Not at all love it. You love

it. Very clingy person.

Tell us tell us more.

So I need my personal space and time. So I prefer if I have a few days of the week to myself. Okay, I think that's great.

What if she's very controlling

in what we should check

the next decisions. No, that's possessive, right? Or definitions of it? Or so I'm saying what if she wants to make all the decisions? Like she's very headstrong. She has opinions about what you do or what you wear and stuff like that.

I think it's good to have someone to share their opinion. You say, for example, the easiest one is choosing where to eat. A lot of people just tell you that I don't know anything. Whatever

you make you frustrated sometimes.

Yeah, Like it's not hard. Yeah, but when you tell them you give them a few options would be like, not really don't feel like this. So you actually do have an opinion, Mind you just

don't want it. Didn't say it, I

just didn't want to say. Yeah, so I prefer if they say it up front and then for other things is like, let's say they give some advice on your hmm I think it's great to hear a different opinion from someone who's not in your shoes at the moment. It's great to hear that.

I mean, okay, being in the media industry, I think we can both relate on this. I've shared some experiences before on this very show, actually about dating people outside of my industry. Actually, I've never dated someone in the industry before. It's all been outside and my experience has been interesting to say the least, but I want you

Yeah. What

happened there? Tell me more details. I think

she just met a few people from our industry before. Okay. Yeah. Or maybe even dated a few. Yeah. So she doesn't think very highly off.

In what way, the

kind of things we do the working hours and also the type of people that I think she met in the industry.

Okay. So she thinks that we're just like having fun all the time or sitting around all the time and this is all very easy kind of thing, right? That's what

she used to say. It's very easy to say, like, it doesn't look as glamorous as it actually is. Yeah, that's one thing. And then she'll be like, oh, I think most of them are not very serious about relationships.

Oh, really?

Heard that before.

Okay. I mean, I've heard people saying things about people in the media industry, like, you know, maybe you haven't figured out what you really want to do yet, You're just having fun, like, you know, doing this stuff because you haven't really truly figured out your life. Um And I once was with this guy, awkward situation, we were at someone's wedding actually okay, and we had been dating for, I think like maybe half a year at least already. So attending a friend's wedding, It was

that right? And

then he started saying, do you know how much I earn an hour, I bet like your whole month's pay can't even like cover my one hour consultation fee. I was like bitch, sit down. I know

who gave him the

permission permission to say that. I I'm not going to disclose what our rates are, but you can sit down okay sit down appreciates higher

than his. Our really.

I mean now maybe last time I was still like yeah, I mean very new and

I don't understand. Yeah, I don't know where they think of these kind of things. Um friends who could forget that I was once our major

right? Yeah.

And they'll be like, oh you know you got useless degree if you got arts degree and I'm just there like thanks, thanks a lot.

So I feel like these things, you know your industry, the choices you make in school, you know, your tertiary education, all that, it could already start forming certain perceptions and people's expectations I

think depends on the kind of group of people they hang out with as well.

Exactly. My

friends would do like finance and then the whole group all learning quite a bit for fresh Grad and then they will judge other career choices. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes you talk to me, they'd be like actually what you choose to do this, you got no other choice.

You know, I have to say this is a whole other topic on its own right? But yeah, we don't have to justify it. I mean as long as we enjoy what we do,

we don't even

have to reveal too much information sometimes even to your friends who might get a bit toxic sometimes. So on that note as well, if you dated, say a girl

who

indeed earns more than

you,

how will that form your foundation of your relationship? Let's say you're around the same age. She doesn't really quiet, she doesn't look down on your industry nothing. But she definitely earns more. Would you be okay with that?

Yeah, I think it changes a lot of things. Yeah,

it doesn't change a lot of things.

Normally let's say you're dating someone, you go with them for a couple of months, you're going to start sharing the bills for everything, right? Yeah. It's no longer just gonna be like, I'm going to pay for all the dates I'm going to pay for all the meals. It's probably going to be splitting or you cover the first one and she'll take the second one and it's pretty equal from their own right. So it matters a lot until you get to the point of marriage.

It's funny you mention that because you know, there was a study that showed actually women, especially in more serious relationships or who are married and stuff like that who are very successful in their professional lives. They might actually feel a little bit bad about it if they earn more than their partner and try to overcompensate for example at home. So maybe things like, you know, I will try my best to like spend more time with the kids or do the dishes or offer to do

Interesting because if we're both working adults and we're both working like full time jobs to cover your monthly bills and the mortgage and stuff. Right? I think it's kind of weird that one person has to put in a lot more time than the other. So let's say you're working and I'm working and we come home, we're both super tired, right? Then we should just split all the house chores together.

Just don't do the chores. Like I just do it tomorrow helper. I don't know. So on the topic of like dating norms and stuff like that, I know there's an invisible rule book around like what we should and shouldn't do right? Have you ever offered to go dutch on the first date?

Like ask the girl you want to go dutch with me? Never,

never. You've always offered to pay for. Oh, interesting.

So personally, I think it should be whoever asked the other person to offer to pay first and also the first date. I think it's nice. Okay, that's certain gender norms when it comes to dating, right? Like you want to show that chivalry, isn't it? Gentlemen, and you want to pay.

Yes. Okay. So

I always offer to pay first and if the girl offers to split the bill with me, I'll be like, that's okay, You can give me the next time. Yeah.

And then 2nd date, Huh? That's a good one.

That's, that's what I tell myself. It's kind of smooth. But I don't know if it is. Yeah,

but there was no second date for some of them.

You have to say to the camera, Okay, what about

you? Um Okay. I'm a little bit more complex when it comes to these things. I don't know if it's like a girl thing or what, but usually, okay, more often than not, the guy offers to pay on the first date I will definitely offer. I'd be like, hey, like, do you want to split this? Or like, would you like to, you know or would you like to go for drinks after like you mentioned or get the next

offering to split the bill someone, Maybe it means like the day is not as well

if it is, if it's not going well or if I have fully decided, I don't want to continue a second date. I would just say, don't worry, I got it or I don't know if that's rude, but I'll be like, hey, don't worry about this. I think we should split it. Like I'll be very firm about it. Yeah.

So if you don't order anything.

Yeah, basically

interesting. Is

it rude? Oh my God, I don't know. I don't know. It's not

rude. It's just interesting.

But most of the people that I have gone out for like dates with our dinner is just not a lot of dates. I mean, I usually end up like with them anyway. Yeah. So I haven't really had the experience of dating around several people like while I'm single. Yeah, done that.

Yeah. So

yeah, get on it. It's time. It's time what's stopping you? Like, I mean, now everything is open and clubs are open and everything really right? Like

why not?

But do you think now in this day and age with social media with a lot of changing ideas and all that? These norms are shifting. I

think slowly because we're opening up to more conversations online, especially on like Tiktok and stuff. People are not as afraid to discuss certain dating norms, certain invisible rules you have to abide by. Which is good. So people slowly think from the other perspective. Yeah.

And the interesting thing is, you know, now in our generation to people are so open to talking about many, many different issues relationship status, genders. Everything like on social media and you know, in a public space. Right? So it's interesting because in this book called Amazing game, It talks about how LGBT Q relationships might be doing better because there's no gender norms and they strive for like an equal dating experience. So how do you feel about that?

I don't really know too much about it. I've done some like feminism studies, but I don't know too much about the dating world in L. G. B. T. Q. Community. So I can't say much on their behalf, right? Yeah. But I I can imagine it taking place like maybe they won't be as restricted as certain rules that we might face in. So

that means also like, you know, when it comes down to dating, you would definitely just want to date someone who is on the same page as you have the same ideals

for sure. And I think it's important on the first date right? To feel like you're being viewed as an equal half. Yeah, So let's see, I've heard arguments like the girls who tell me that, you know, I put in a time to do my makeup. I travel all the way down here. Yeah, I'm spending my evening with you. That's my fair share for the night and I'll be like, okay, that's cool. But I also take time to come down here to do

your makeup, You know,

makeup. I did like 10 seconds on my hair, 10 seconds,

10 seconds of your life went down into that. Yeah, I

did put in some effort as well. But I feel like the main point about Others to split the bill or just letting the other person know that we are equal when it comes to dating is very important because I feel like if the dating dynamics from the very start is not close to at least 50% or even 45%, it's gonna just go down here later on in the relationship.

And I feel like what we addressed also about, you know, your career choices, the phase of life that you're in, your financial status, you know, where you're at in life and stuff like that, all that really comes into play when it comes to dating as well because imagine this, I mean, you know, I'm so proud of us women nowadays, like we are so much more career

oh yeah, old school is the man has to bring the food to the table, is going to provide for the family and I feel like a huge part of society still views it as the same old way Yeah, they'll be like, what is the purpose of a man not to bring food and provide for a family?

Well, I had a very eye opening conversation with a friend of mine recently. He's this like super good looking dude. I mean an acquaintance, I don't really know him that well. Super good looking guy, you know, in a serious, serious relationship already and we were just chatting and stuff in a friend setting and we want the topic of relationships

stuff. Okay, that's,

that's great.

I mean more than me put on a cute apron and I will with

nothing underneath.

Yeah, if that's what you like, right, right. I'm not judging here, but honestly, okay, I don't think I'm suitable to be like a stay at home dad. I can't stay home or you'll be too relaxing and then I would just lose track of whatever is in my life so I can't do that and I would appreciate if my partner goes out to work as well. So I wouldn't want to have like a stay at home partner, you know what I mean? Okay,

so it has to be someone of an equal. You know, something I feel like

sometimes if you have too much time to yourself, you just get lost.

Yes, you don't know what to

do. Yeah, I think it's kind of scary to do that.

Okay, well, so you know what, all the best in your dating life, Please keep us

updated. Sure. We

can do a follow up mini episode your dating life in the next few months.

Few months. Optimistic,

optimistic. Okay, by the end of the year, which is also quite close.

Sure, okay, I'll go and drink a bit more. Yeah,

we'll take next time we'll take you out. Thank you so much for joining us here today for baring it all on our episode. Once again, men explain its back. We're so excited to be back. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Men explain if you liked it, please hit the follow button. We drop new episodes. Every alternate Thursdays on Spotify apple podcasts and me listen, remember

to follow us on instagram and Tiktok at its clarity dot. So if you want to find out more content like this and we'll see you soon.

Bye