Welcome to another episode of Men. Explain. I'm Sonia. And today joining me to chat about something that I'm very curious about because we are constantly moving into different stages of life. He's gonna help us better understand how to deal with life crisis. And I feel like I'm talking to a therapist right now. Please welcome Paul Foster.
So thank you for having me. Well, I, OK, I gotta put my therapist hat on today. Is that right? I feel.
So you've got, you've got a lot of experience. I think that's what it is, right? And Paul, please let our listeners and viewers know what you're up to recently because you need no introduction, you're everywhere you act, you host, you do crazy adventurous things. So maybe you can fill them in on what you've
been up to. Ok. Well, I guess the most recent project is Kamoi, which we took almost two years to shoot. Yeah, it was like, I was serving national service again. That was a pretty
adventurous one. It was
great. It was great. I was trying to pull you in there. One of my, one of my guests, for one of my episodes I
don't think I'll ever survive. Not even a single, be
surprised.
I think you have too much faith in me. Truly, too much faith in me. But of course, I haven't seen you in a while. Yeah. And how has life been for you? Just in
general? I'm always the optimist. I'm always the, the glass is half full, rather than half empty. So, for me, life is good. I think
that's what we love about you. Because every single time I've met you in any occasion, you've been like a ball of energy. You're always fun. You're always laughing and smiling. But of course, we also have our own moments where we reflect about life and we think and we worry and overthink sometimes. Absolutely. In fact, the funny thing was the last time I filmed with you was for Let's talk about health season one.
Let's go back there for a little bit. Ok. So the episode that we did was actually about the heart and you were sharing with me a very personal story which then became public information about your own incident and your own brushes with health scares. Again.
Ironically, I was invited onto the show with you guys to talk about heart health. But I had happened to go through a few kind of early health prescreening prior to the to the filming. So I did find out obviously that I had some blockages in my arteries. We were in the process of dealing with that. Although at that point, the cardiologist was like, no, it's nothing we have to really worry about yet because we need to get your cholesterol down. The main problem is cholesterol which is genetic and
you in your late thirties, right. At that
point, my early forties. So that when I was 40
I thought like 39 or
something, 41 going to 42. I mean, long story short, I had to do my invasive angiogram. I had to put four stents in two balloons and get my cholesterol down in order to, to really resolve this issue. Now that I'm younger, healthier and that can deal with the recovery now rather than doing it post heart attack or when I'm older and it takes longer to recover. So,
yeah, I mean, I did see your stories and you did a very detailed breakdown on what happened. We're very glad you're all good now and I'm sure getting back on track 100% slowly. But it also makes you think and wonder the kind of problems that you deal with in the different phases of your life. I mean, now that you're in your early forties, you look back sometimes, I'm sure at your thirties and your twenties, the problems are all very different.
Right. Absolutely. And you know, when we're kids, right, when we're in school, you worry
about what do you worry about your kids?
Small stuff now that we're older, but when we were a kid, they were massive because problems then I know you were mediocre and that's why it's so cliche. You always see your parents always telling you like, don't worry, it's ok. You know, because as a kid you don't have to worry about much. To be honest. I
honestly, I'm ashamed to admit this. But when I was in secondary school I wasn't the most academically inclined. Ok? I only bucked up like in sector three or something. And every time I get back a really bad result, I will number one, this is very bad example. But back then you always think like, oh my God, I could kill myself like I could really. But back then when we were experiencing it, it almost seems the end of the world,
it's relative. Our problems in life are relative to what phase we are in our life, of course, right? How we are living, what's our support network? Like general stuff? So like I said as a kid, actually, your parents did most of the worrying for you, right? They took care of everything you had nothing to really worry about except like passing school, which is also why this way when you
literally the end of the world. Oh my goodness. If I fail this, I cannot go to uni I can't get a good degree, I can't get, it can get a good job. No career. Oh my God. And you're already thinking over 30 years ahead when actually it's
OK. Yeah, but of course you move in into your twin and then things start to evolve a little bit. Right. So I think for most of our audience watching this right now, you may be in different phases of life. I don't know, we get comments coming through and we understand that you go through different things sometimes. So in your twenties, take us through. What were you worrying about? I want to know Paul Foster, by the way, was a crazy party guy. I used to see him all the time out and about,
I was, I was, I still can be but I'm very selective now. Wow. Twenties. So what was twenties? Twenties was just finishing national service going into university trying to get my uni degree and then deciding what career am I going to get into? What am I going to do? And then coming back to Singapore and life for me kind of played my hand early, right? With the passing of my father when I was younger. So that was 1999 I
was 18 trying to graduate high school. So at one phase in my life during high school, it's exams to pass my A levels. It's dealing with my father being sick and his eventual passing, moving house and then preparing to go to national service. That's so much five changes at 18 years old. So for me, I grew up overnight, I grew up. You had to, instantly, I had no choice. I had no choice. I had to be there for my mom and my family.
But I also had to make sure I pass my, my exams or else I couldn't get into uni I could write. That was my fear. That's right. So, in a way, it's again, ironic, I had no choice. Just deal with it and just do it, push through now, you know, hopefully everything will come good as it goes. So I always look for the blessings. I always look for the silver linings.
But maybe that's why you have developed this mindset.
I mean, everyone always ask me like, what would you change or would you change anything in life or what would happen? That's a tough question because it's like if it makes you the person you are, would you really change anything? But then if I was like, of course, I wouldn't have one of my father to pass away so early. So I had more time with him and to learn from him and to, to live with him, would I also be the same
person I am today if that was the case. So it's a very tough debate in that sense because I think throughout life. So by the way, also throughout life, there will always be a crisis. It doesn't matter whether it's early in the middle or at the end, there's always going to be, it's gonna be stuff to deal with it, how you deal with it, which is the most important thing. So I guess having said that navigating through the twenties, I was kind of ok already because I already dealt with a lot
early. And don't mind me asking this. Did your friends understand or did they not quite get it at
all? Yes and no, actually, yes and no. Again, great question. It, it was kind of like Paul gets it right because he's already been there and done that. So, for example, I think out of my, my friend group, I was the only the second friend that had lost a parent early. I had one friend earlier than me. So in a way as life has gone on, I've become that person that when a parent does pass away, yes, people come to me or people ask me to talk
to another friend, everyone deals with everything differently. But the moment someone can come to you and talk to you from real life experience, personal experience, they have to and listen. Right. OK. Yeah. He, he knows what he's talking about, you know, and I get it when other friends are trying to help. But for me, I think I became that person, that counselor therapist in a way, some in your group of friends, right? And that spilled across every sphere of life. So I think
friends did get it. I think I became that really grounded friend, that person that would, you know, be able to be the light and the dark, the black and the white. I was very in the middle and able to manage both sides and everything. So
the thing is having experienced all that at such an early age, did your entire phase of your twenties? Did you see yourself as someone who could enjoy life a lot more or you would enjoy the smaller things in life? Oh, I like
that question too. You know what I mean? I think I give you the, the thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I'm not qualified. I have my own
problems but we all do, we all do, we all do. No, I still think I enjoyed life and I think you kind of hit on the head. Exactly. I think I enjoyed it even more because I knew how fragile it was. I knew that I knew that something could disappear. Not just tomorrow. Like today, I again, look for all the silver linings and the positives and the goods. And I use that as my, as my compass to go out and enjoy things and, and again, embrace life.
Paul. Thank you so much for opening up so early on in the podcast. I was not expecting that, but thank you for digging deep and sharing such a personal story because when I look back at my twenties, suddenly everything seems so redundant to some
extent. There's never a comparison. Of course, of course, we're all different. We all live different lives. But I would say on a life journey, we're trying to find out who we are, right. We're trying to find out ourselves. It happens at different times. So
actually, it could constantly happen as well.
We are evolving, right? We're growing, we're learning, but some people find our core cells early on, right? Some in the middle, some at the end and unfortunately, some never really find themselves, but maybe because they're constantly evolving and growing. So my question to you was beside you thinking your twenties was very redundant now compared to me. But how was your twenties? And do you think you have found yourself yet?
Yeah. You know, now that you asked me that question, I was still in UNI, right? And I was just getting started in this industry. So I did uni and I think that's actually around about the time that you are correct to be honest. So I, wow, ages ago. So I was just getting into the media.
Trust me. I did not know what the heck I was doing because in my mind, I wanted to be a journalist and I was very sure I was going to go back and I was gonna do writing, you know, I wanted to maybe be a news journalist at some point. It is an industry where you have to figure out who you are as soon as possible. And I, I do pride myself in that because I think that especially as a host and a presenter, it's not so much about acting. I suck at acting. So it's definitely not one of my strong
suits just gonna admit it right there. I think that essentially in the line that I am in specifically growing with me at the same time and that in itself is a gift that I get to experience with, with everyone. Yeah, everyone. So I was more concerned about my career trajectory because I was juggling school and work at the same time. And I think it's amazing by the way. Thank you. Yeah, I wouldn't do it again. But my immediate worry was how do I pass my exams?
Do well in my final project, not disappoint my lecturers, my parents and at the same time, start this career. And I didn't even know whether this career was going to take me anywhere because let's be real at that moment. I was just doing it like for fun, I didn't know that it was gonna be a full time thing once I graduated, you know, it was just like throw it out there and see where it takes me kind of situation. So those were the things I was concerned about and I'm a natural
competitive person. So I definitely want to really grab the opportunities that came my way. I was very fortunate to have very supportive parents, both my parents came from media. So they've always been like, ok, you do, you pursue your dreams kind of thing? They've always been so supportive, which I'm eternally grateful for because wouldn't be here without them as well. So, yeah, those were the things I was concerned
about and I think I like to think of life as in little bonuses. So when you said, like, you weren't expecting anything but what a bonus it's become. Exactly because it's like, I also feel like, have no expectations so that everything that you do earn and receive is a bonus.
Was that a quote from Spiderman? Expect disappointment from our producer? Expect disappointed, disappointment. And you won't be disappointed. Wow! Ok.
That's a little
dark. But yeah,
but you get my same similar, similar. And for those of you watching, if you don't, if you don't know how Sonia started, she actually joined the radio DJ contest the competition and her mentor was Ross and Ross is a very old dear friend of mine.
And so you became one of the first friends in the media that I met.
Yes, because of the mentor mentee relationship. And then I voted for Sonia because I was listening, I was listening to her when they were, you know, putting them on air to, I used to test them, put a
knife to your head and you better vote for my,
she offered me a meal, which is also good because yeah, but so I, I had recognized you already earlier this girl got something. Yeah. So, so you did, she did earn her spot. You
see, without the kind of support that I had with, I, with everything, like strangers, people, I didn't even know, wouldn't be here. But of course, in my twenties I was also thinking about a lot of relationship stuff. I don't know about. You. Did you have a, a lot of, like, dating sort of situation?
And I'm a very committed long term relationship guy. So I had a lot of long term relationships. So
you're a serious relationship in a way.
But when I'm single, oh, here we go. Single. So I'm not sure that. Right. So let me see when I was in my twenties. So during like, during uni was like one long term girlfriend and then early to mid two thousands became single, 2006. And then, yeah. And then I was doing all the, so I was modeling back then as well and working on my first, we need to
put in a like modeling days right now.
Well, long time ago and starting my first business back then. Um and then doing the modeling pr stuff like the pr at the clubs, taking care of all the models that were coming for dinners and parties. So that was my life, right? It was like vibrant, yeah, partying like 34 times a week hustling like that was a real hustle day. You had to go out and work you had to do the events you had to do to take all the jobs, the network. So pre social media, right.
So I always cut myself very lucky too that I came from the analog days, I came from analog transition through to the digital. So I kind of had the best of both worlds. And you just, you had to work there 20 almost 20 years ago. A lot of people that we were working with are now in positions where they're making the decisions. They're the ones that are. You want to book Paul. Ok. Just, just, just hire him.
Don't need to see the rest because we develop that working relationship and a personal relationship from that long ago. Like you want to work with someone good. I know this guy is good, get him and it's nice. It's, it's come full circle. I live in full circle. So
basically what you're saying is what you experience in twenties would have probably paid off in your late twenties or early thirties or to your mid
3100%. Exactly 100%. Yeah. Yes.
So that is, that is, that's the journey. That's a journey.
Go out, meet people, you know, establish good relationships, stay
out and do it while you can survive on two hours of sleep.
Have fun, you can on two hours of sleep, you can work very hard later in life. People. Like, actually I remembered what we used to do. So they would be good to have to, to, to do a travel show. For example, it's
very demanding, by the way, just letting you all know you would know too. Yeah,
people see 45 minutes of a show that we
always travel for work. So
fun, five days straight on pushing 12 to 16 hours a day traveling and filming. Not easy but fulfilling. So fulfilling and so much fun. But yeah, I'd say in the twenties is the time you hustle hustle, make those relationships have fun. Enjoy. I think that's a really crucial time. Figure out what do you like? What don't you like? Develop your moral compass? You know, which we've already up until then always developing. But really, I think that's a time when you're now
a mature inverted commerce. Hopefully because you know, you're all right. 21 you're an adult. You're now in the real world. Yeah. Your real sets of problems and life is gonna hit you now you need to go out and do you need to go and do that shit you
need to do. So hopefully how we are looking at it now after this conversation is your twenties, the hustling years, hopefully your thirties might be like reaping some rewards in some way and you've done some growing up. How
would you describe your thirties? No, I'd say you start to reap the rewards, but I still feel in the thirties you still have to still, that's still that next hustle, I think 30 to 35. So, how
do you get to the next level? What you mean? Right. Yes. Exactly. So, and people have the pressure of, like, I need to be in a stable relationship or, like, because it's not just about career. Yeah. It's also about
the societal pressures. Like, I know. Ok. So, when I was in Singapore, exactly, when I was in my early twenties and I had colleagues or friends who were in their early thirties, they would start to worry because they see the rest of their group getting married or getting engaged or like starting to have their first kid and they're like, stressing like, oh, like I should be there again.
No. Right or wrong, right. Some focus on career, some focus on family. The amazing people do both. And I'm like, wow, like that's, that's awesome. But I still feel there's no right or wrong there
isn't. But I still feel like there's a bit of difference sometimes between men and women. I don't know if you, if you agree, of course. But for women, I do notice them stressing out over, they look at different phases of life as like I should be starting a family. I should be doing this then. What about my career? Like, I'm not sure as a, how do you feel about that? What do you worry about biologically,
biologically, men are very lucky. We don't have to worry about that.
But emotionally men suppress themselves a lot more.
Yes. Or have the stigma that they shouldn't be showing emotion, which is now changing a bit, you know, everything's changing, which is nice. I mean, you touched on mental health earlier. So, yeah, there's always stigmas but that's from society
and all these worries that you have affect your life choices sometimes.
Absolutely. Absolutely. But I, I get it, but I don't think it's fair. Look as a guy, I'm going to say I feel it's much easier just I'm just putting out there from my perspective and point of view. Again, everyone has to figure out what they want and how they want to do it. I also believe that if you just, if you just do you and don't go out and maliciously want to hurt someone or do anything bad so on and so forth, then, ok, like life is good. Right? So, yeah, I think it
can be hard. I think when you're seeing and again, comparing, I always don't
compare it. A thief of happiness.
The grass is always greener like, you know, and for me, so this is one of my philosophies. I never compare like equal or
up. Right.
Never because there's always going to be someone that has a better life than you in. Some. Come on.
Paul in media industry is even more amplified because it could be, there's gonna be another handsomer younger, right? More jacked up guy than me. Like coming to the industry, going after the
same segment. Right. They're getting all the work. How come they're working so much? I've never been the jealous type to be like
that. No good on you. Because I think that is one of the toxic traits of this industry. Really people looking
without pointing too many
fingers. Yeah, exactly. It is a toxic trade. And sometimes you can't also blame people for feeling this way because I get it. It is a natural human
reaction. Everyone has to eat, everyone has to earn and you can't do every job. So you should be happy for our colleagues. I never, and I've never looked at anyone as competition. I feel everyone is my counterpart and colleague because
we are enough things to go and we have our
we there is so much but you have to hustle to go and get it. Maybe if not getting enough, maybe you not hustling enough to some extent
is probably the king of hustlers like I see him. You can be like here and then you're there and suddenly my ig feed or like you're doing something I think also
doing something right? You always doing something. I wanna do something. Yeah. So never, I never compare up. But what I do is I compare down and what I mean by that is I do a lot of charity work. I do a lot of volunteer work. So I always compared myself down this person. I'm building a house for this person and his family because they don't have a house, they don't have a roof over their heads, which is one of our basic needs in life. So
that for me is something huge. They can maybe eat once a day, twice a day, maybe not even three square meals a day. We can eat whatever we want whenever we want. We have privilege. A lot of people think they don't have privilege, but we have a lot of privileges being here doing what
we do and just being born in Singapore for
already, right? In general terms. So I always compare down and there's so many more people that don't have anything compared to us. So therefore life is good.
Exactly. You brought up a really good point. Do you think that the solution to dealing with crisis in different phases of life is to ground yourself in this manner and to get perspective? Because I see that you've gotten so much perspective from your charity work helping be it, animals, humans, whatever it is. Because then you get that beautiful perspective on life and suddenly your problems in any phase of life, it disappears.
Small shrink shrink. Yes, I think being grounded is key, being grounded is finding yourself. So I think also the first thing to do is really find yourself, there's no right or wrong. You need to figure it out. But things will happen in your life that will help you figure it out and whether you embrace it, whether you avoid it or whatever, you know,
will help you. And I always say, I think you need to love yourself first and know yourself first before you can then help others and be of use to others and have this selfless service to others, which is what I managed to find quite early on, which is great
because I also always believe in the whole concept of charity starts at home. Because if you're not even kind to the people in your inner circle, what's the point of going out there and doing charity
work? Right? And again, doing it, selfless, selflessly
without any expectations
but not doing it for the gram. Yeah. You know, you
completely agree. Oh my gosh, you don't. What irks me is that, I mean, it's good that everyone good to try and do. Yes. But, but I feel like when there's so much publicity around it, I also question why this person is doing ok. But now that's a, that's a whole other thing all together. But this is interesting because we saw a study that showed potential signs of a life crisis. And I'm gonna read
some of these symptoms out to you. You tell me whether you think you've experienced it or you think that is a sign of a life crisis. So the first one having a lot of regrets and a drop, a drop in life satisfaction. Have you ever felt like I regret not doing this? I regret not doing
that. That's also quite hard. I want to say no, because I have thought I've lived my life to the fullest and enjoyed everything. But I think there's always a at some point you there's always a seed of doubt somewhere that's like, yeah, you know, I think for me that regret is, for example, I can off the top of my head bring up
right now, missed property investment opportunities. OK? For example, for example, even though I've done well in it, I've missed a few that I was like, you know what if only I had, wow, but it's like it's OK because you can still do more and you still make the most of what you have. But yeah, that maybe that's one example,
regrets and the next one is increased sadness and mood changes where you give up on your goals and you feel less motivated or no, you ever not felt. I feel like you've always been quite a self motivated.
I think that's what's got me through life. To be quite honest, it does link having that again, that confidence and motivation and striving and that hustle and going and then not just for yourself, but for others, I think that's helped me define my life journey. So I want to say no for that one, which is probably a good
one. Yeah. Yeah, I I don't disagree. It's a No, for me as well. Generally I am quite motivated, I would say also because I do wanna provide a good life for my family. And to me sometimes like there's no wrong in wanting a better life for yourself. So if that's what motivates you go for it, I love that. Yeah,
there is nothing wrong with, there is not a better
life. Yeah, I mean, people are afraid to admit it because we're in a sometimes Asian society. Maybe I'd be a bit more modest spontaneous decision making. Unfortunately, this one, I have to say I am a little bit guilty of this. Ok. I do slip into phases of life where I do make regrettable decisions. Like, I don't know, like I binge party binge
drink, but you acknowledge it.
I do, I do, I recognize it.
And do you learn from it? I learn
from it but sometimes it happens again and I wonder why. So please share your wisdom. You've been through this phase.
I want out of this phase. I mean, I mean, I can back. Yeah. And I think that's a little bit of a gray area again. Where, what is life if it isn't sporadic? Right? I think, I think it's nice to have a plan. I think it's nice to be diligent. I think it's nice to know what you want and how you want to do it. But life should also be spontaneous. Like, so you should have fun and do things and sometimes it requires that, that I'm gonna, I'm gonna book a holiday, a trip tomorrow or
mine is mine is let's get messed up today.
Also fun. And you know what? Go get messed up, right? Are you OK? If I can quickly bring up a story about this so early on in my career also, when I was still doing all the partying and everything and we had lots of fun and my TV presence was starting to come on the road. Yes. So it would happen. People would literally come to me like you should be a little bit more careful. Now. You don't drink so much, you know, someone, someone take picture or video of you even worse. Right. Right back then.
Still not so bad. Not so bad. Right? Because of this is, and I was like, you know what? But this is my life. I can do whatever I want. As long as I'm not hurting anyone, I always ask who hasn't had that happen. If you haven't vomited from drinking too much on a really big party out. You have not, you have not lived life but it does happen. Of course. But because, but we're having fun. We're with our trusted group of
friends partying. Yeah. Sometimes you just, you have that one, too many drink or you mix too many drinks, right? And I still feel there should have been, there should be no shame in that. There should be nothing wrong with
that. I feel like sometimes when I look at the times that I, well, I really feel like I'm in a therapy session right now. When I look at the times that I go haywire or I'm a little unhinged, I do feel like extreme guilt after that. You know, because you're always like, oh, why did I do that? And also I guess it's the post alcohol, depression feeling or something. I think it's a scientific more being
hung over. That's the regret the next day.
And then the chemicals in your body. I feel like
why do I do this to myself?
Regret? Then I feel like I'm in a crisis. I definitely feel that way. But at the same time I feel that for a lot of people who have control in most parts of their life, maybe that's just their way of letting loose. I'm not gonna have control over this one. I'm just gonna have
fun. Yeah. So, and there's nothing, again, there's nothing wrong with having fun. I think people should see it that way rather than the negative. That is true.
That is true. So then leading from that and going into being, say, irritated with life choices or relationships and all. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where at a different phase, perhaps you were frustrated with your dating life or your relationships or it's not where you wanted it to be because that could also be another sign of, am I, am I in the right place of my life right now. So
a lot of my relationships early on as well kind of didn't work out because we, we started to grow and split our tangents
just don't convert. That's wrong.
Right. We all again growing and developing at different times. I think the hard part is figuring out that perhaps you're not, maybe meant to be with someone or that maybe the relationship has run its course and maybe letting go of each other is the best thing to do so that you can both work on yourselves and grow at the pace at the pace that you're growing at rather than kind of holding back a little bit or being pulled back even unintentionally but being pulled back because you're not
growing at that same rate. Yeah. No,
I think you brought up a good point because sometimes with a relationship with an age gap or a bigger age gap, it does feel like the younger person has to play some catch up and it is the older
has to slow down
which and sometimes I worry like is my partner already at a place where he doesn't want to deal with this shit anymore, but he doesn't do my shit anymore, you know, so I better go up faster. That's the
feeling. But I also think, say for example, from 30 to 20 is also very different from 40 to 30 I think it becomes closer, the gap shortens closer, the older we get because again, we start to establish ourselves in our career, we start to figure ourselves out more. So I know, I feel like every relationship you're in, you should always be looking out for a better relationship. If the last one didn't work for whatever reasons, the next one shouldn't have any of those reasons. Like you're trying to
eliminate the ones, the things that you're not happy
about. That's right. So, and I feel as you get older and you find this person or these people, if you're, if you're still figuring it out, you start to start to know. Ok. Yeah. And no one has the perfect relationship. There's always gonna be pros and cons and stuff like that. But that's life as well. You deal with it and you make the best of what you have
and what about now in your current relationship status? Yes. Like, what do you feel is your biggest lesson in this point on? Biggest learning point?
Yeah. Learning point. I'm coming up to five years, five years. This is like the, besides my uni relationship when we were living overseas and having our own home to live in. This is also the first relationship where we've also had our own home. I think having that space is important, having a partner that can spend time and do a lot of things with, but
also do things on your own. Right.
Yeah. Also is very important. You have to acknowledge that space, finding someone that you can really match with as much as possible. Yes, I think that helps a lot. That's why I
wonder why people always say opposites attract. I want, this needs to be another episode by the way. Also. I mean, now that we're on the topic of relationships, you know, before we wrap up this whole conversation, I mean, when I look back at all my relationships from when I was, I don't know, 18, all the way till now, like what a journey because what I wanted when I was in my twenties or what I thought I wanted is different from what I want now. Absolutely. If that makes sense and
you still have so much of your journey left, I so do I but you know, we do, right? I love how at one point we were talking, it was just like midlife crisis stuff. I'm like midlife, I'm 42 average average, right? If we hit the 80 to 100. So
I'm curious where that phrase even came up mid life crisis like that. Who was the first one that came up with this so
negative? Because again, like I mentioned earlier, our whole life is filled with crisis to be really honest, whether it's big or small, but it's all how you deal with it. I've seen people crumble and gone down a very dark path after a crisis and I've seen others embrace it and come out on the lighter side again. There's no right or wrong. We will never know how to deal with something until you're literally standing face to face with it. But I think dealing with it
is the most important that's easier said than done. I know. But you have to, I
think if there's anything that I would share to wrap up, that that entire section is aside from having the mental grid to pull yourself up, which is tough because sometimes you're like in such a dark place, you just don't know how to get out. Your immediate inner circle needs to be so strong support because without them, you're probably going to find it a lot harder to climb out of a crisis. Be it midlife crisis, quarter life crisis or whatever crisis it may be.
If you've got that tight inner circle, I think it's gonna make it so much easier for you to come on the other side.
Can I ask you? So if you had to face an issue or problem, do you try to deal with it first and internalize it? Take a moment however long it takes before maybe seeking advice or counsel?
OK. That's me. And I felt like you're gonna ask that question because I know some people who immediately like guys, I need help. Like because growing up, I would only have my parents to confide in if I had anything wrong. So I wasn't used to the concept of like having siblings or big groups of friends to confide in. So growing up, I realized that I would try and solve the problem first. Actually. Likewise with some problems that I faced at work, you know, joking my partner. Right.
So he's a big problem. I know
I didn't see that one coming problem. That problem. That's you. Definitely, because we've been partners for a while and we know of each other's lives and problems that we see each other almost every day because of the show. If there's anything that's bothering us, it will have to come out because it will affect the show for sure. Yes. Right. So, we would have
to confine each other. He knows that I'm the sort that would keep quiet about something like as long as I can until I solve it and be like, can you tell you ok, this happened? But it's all good now and he's like, what you get it from me for like, days. Did you even? I don't know. That's just how I deal with the crisis. But that,
that's me too. That's you as well. I actually find it one level deeper than you. I find it actually much harder to reach out. I don't like to people down in a way. So, but, but if I really, really, really cannot solve and I really, really, really need help advice. Of course, of course, I would seek counsel. There's never a right or wrong. I think as long as you are able to solve and, and move forward and embrace and everything, I guess it doesn't really matter which way you do it,
but you need to figure it out. Yeah. And, and, and hopefully you figure out in the best way possible. Yes.
Well, thank you for sharing so much with us on this show. I became like a real therapy section.
We have enough time. We can a whole series of just this
whole series. Exactly. Now we got a few spin off episodes as well. Is this really attract this one? Please take
no problem.
Yeah, exactly. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of men. Explain. We hope you enjoyed
it. And if you love this episode, please hit the follow button. We're
available on Spotify Apple podcast and me. Listen and don't forget to follow us at its Clarity dot co on Instagram and Tik Tok for more content. See you next time.