S3-E2. An afternoon walk before an evening date.

In classic Memoirtistry fashion, I wax poetic my thoughts in stream-of-conscious format. I wander from aging to idealism, past versions of myself, C-PTSD, the opportunity of "stranger", solitude & the artist's journey, long-distance partnership and what happens when we love our fear with PRESENCE being a key. (Present is my word of the year for 2023.)

I'm also interrupted by a stranger who asks if he can take photos of my tattoos and I oblige.

Listening back to this episode, I recognize the stories of my religious trauma I am currently unraveling. For example, I mention the delight I experience in my body when I am in a state of longing [for some thing or someone], and I connect this to being raised with so many limitations around self-expression. The meaning I place on this reflection is that I am learning to release myself of the internal bonds to trauma--to C-PTSD--by identifying the strength I acquired during a survival state. I know how to wait. I know how to be patient. I dreamed of being as tattooed as I am now when I was 15; my dreams of self-expression have come to fruition. I can survive the absence of choice.

It is obvious to me now the manuscript of my second memoir is beckoning me. If it doesn't make sense now, perhaps it will make sense later. Document, document, document.