Dyso’s Trying His Best

A listener production.

Two cuddly boys overloading the bromance. Kilometre. It's Matt and.

Alex all day. Breakfast. Oh, geed up Alex Dyson. That's how I feel. Absolutely Geed up, bruv. Why are you getting geed up? Well, tonight, uh, I'm getting to see one of my favorite bands in all of the world play in one of my favorite cities in all of the world, in a venue that is about to close down, which is very sad. Oh, Ball Park Music is putting on their, uh, a show to say goodbye to the zoo, one of Brisbane's most famous venues that has been around for. Oh, God.

Oh, that's gonna be so nice. Like, I reckon it's gonna be pretty emotional. You know, the ball park crew are able to to tug on those heart strings when necessary, as well as rocking the house, and it's just a bit of bad news around the Australian music industry, whether it's festivals, counselling or like venues shutting down. It's some pretty tough times out there, man.

Yeah. Well look, they've they've, uh, said the cost of supplying alcohol is rising. Bar sales are going down, likely due to a mix of lifestyle changes and cost of living stress. Um, that's the hard truth of running the zoo at a loss for over three years. So they've tried hard. I mean, I've seen interviews with the Queensland Premier saying, look, there's I mean, there's not much we could have done in this situation. Um, but, you know, how do we save live music? How do we save

Um, I've got an idea. Okay, okay. What? We get Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson to make a film, but instead of a film, make it a documentary and call it instead of. We bought a zoo, we bought the zoo. And then the two of them buy the zoo in Brisbane. Matt Damon hands out an Australia a lot now.

Yes, he's just down the road in Byron. I'm pretty sure he's got a place near Ballina though. He was seen at Ballina Kmart a couple of years ago.

You saw Matt.

Damon? Someone saw him at Ballina Kmart. That's the truth. He's gone to the Ekka a couple of times. I mean, this is his second home. Save us Matt, save us.

Matt. We bought the zoo. Well, make it happen. It'll be like escape to the chateau, but with, um, Damon and Johansson. Well, Johansson's been in the news a bit.

Actually, I saw that about the OpenAI thing. About her voice. We have a chat. We can talk about that a little bit later on, but we'll also be talking about, uh, some other big players in the tech industry, especially the shopping industry, which has been raising a few eyebrows around the place. We're going to dive right into Matt and Alex all day. Breakfast. I hope you're having a good one.

Everyone ready? Let's get this show on the road.

Let's go. Here we go, here we go, here we go.

Yeah, we bought a zoo. More like we decided to sue. Um. Which is what.

Scarlett Johansson's doing. Is that what you're saying?

For Scarlett Johansson, who's spoken out after OpenAI? Who do ChatGPT, uh, used a voice which is eerily similar to her own voice for their new product, in which the AI now, you know, have a have a have vocal cords by the sounds of things.

Well, here's the thing that I'm annoyed about the whole OpenAI choosing, like their assistant to be called Sky, because Sky is, again a name. And we've seen this pop up with Alexa, people. Alexa's around the world had to band together and say, stop calling your assistant our names so that when I'm at home and my kid says, hey, well, I mean, probably would say, hey mum, but may say, hey Alexa, Sofia calls me and Belinda by our names every now and then. You know, suddenly you've got the

Yeah, well, she said she was asked like she was in a movie called her in which she is one of these sort of chat bots. She falls in love with Joaquin Phoenix's character. There's probably why the crew from OpenAI wanted to chat to her, but she said for personal reasons, she declined. Suddenly it comes out sounds eerily similar. And when he announced it, Sam Altman, who's the CEO of OpenAI, um, when he just said her, as in, like,

Um, I mean, this is this is tough because someone like Scarlett, I believe, has the, uh, you know, power to fight if she believes she's been wronged, she's got the power to fight. Now, the question is, what happens if you, uh, don't have multiple, multiple millions of dollars and a huge international fan base? Uh, and you do feel like you're getting, um, you know, wronged by a huge, massive international company. Um, Lauren is on the phone. Hello? Lauren. How are you? I'm good, thank you.

How are you?

Good. Thank you. Now, tell us, Lauren, what happened recently when you went online or was did someone notify you of a situation that really kind of felt like everything was, I mean, not crashing down. I don't want to overdramatize it, but, you know, really felt like there was, uh, something that was was not happening that you were happy about.

Yeah. So I actually found it myself. Um, I happened to be on Pinterest. This was yesterday morning. Went onto Pinterest and saw my own artwork, my own greeting card design on Pinterest, but mocked up with this kind of bright red envelope that I knew wasn't, you know, wasn't mine. And I initially thought maybe a company was selling envelopes and had just used my greeting cards that they'd found to, you know, pair it with their envelope. But then I noticed the actual pin was from Tamu, which is a

So doing the old copy paste control C, control V on their own design and then selling them. And because they're quite a big company, are they like undercutting you on price and everything as well? Lauren, the.

Ironic thing this was showing up in British pounds, um, but it is pretty much the same price as what I'm selling them for, which is the surprising part to me. Mhm.

And okay, so was there any indication that they'd sold many of them. Yeah.

So it actually says that this particular seller um has sold 144 items. And my particular listing has gotten almost sold out. Sign flashing on top of it.

Right. So there so even just 144 and you've only seen this like in a day. So I mean that's I don't know how much you're charging per car, but we could we can assume this is in the thousands of dollars just, just in a day that you've seen it. Exactly.

And yeah, it's already gone up. Um, the number sold since I saw this yesterday, so.

Oh, okay. And look, here's the other thing. You're not the only person who's had this sort of experience happen.

No, not at all. I actually reached out to some of the other artists whose work I recognized on that, um, page, and out of the few I contacted, a few of them came straight back to me and said this had happened to them multiple times before on Teemu, and that they hadn't really got anywhere when they had pursued anything to try and get it removed.

That's crazy. Well, Scarlett Johansson with her voice, I mean, she's got quite a bit of cash. She can throw a few lawyers at this. What for? People like yourself. You know, I'm not sure if you're your kids have passed law in daycare yet, but other than that, how can you afford to try and get something happening?

I honestly. So I've been sitting with this for a day now, and I've had a few people reach out when I did share it and say contact IP Australia, you know, go to the Copyright Council, who are completely not for profit and, you know, don't can't offer legal advice. And I've made a few phone calls to those organisations and they've pretty much all said to me it's a case of seeking my own legal representation if I want

So just just so anyone everyone's across the team at the moment is a Chinese e-commerce e-commerce company. It's become one of the biggest retail apps in America and the world. You've probably seen it, uh, pop up on, uh, any sort of googling that you do when you're looking for basically any product, there's always a. Really cheap version on there.

Exactly. And I think that's a kind of gray area that I'm trying to work out myself, because this is a seller who's obviously producing this product and selling it. But then we are seeing this happen so much over and over again across all different categories, like jewelry and tote bags and blankets, anything you can think of as artwork being stolen from, you know, independent artists and being

Mhm. Well, look, I mean it's up to you I guess if you're shopping, uh you're listening, if you're shopping what to do and uh who to choose. But it's certainly interesting to hear from the people whose, uh, artwork and products are appearing without their consent online. So thank you very much, Lauren. I hope I hope this, you know, I hope you are and, you know, able to rally enough troops to kind of make sure that your stuff isn't getting, um, plagiarized out there. Uh, anyone who wants

From the natural hot springs source. Uh, that where you create it? Lauren. That's perfect.

Thank you so much for having me.

Thanks, Lauren. We'll catch you next time.

Thank you guys.

Hut hut hut hut! Take take this.

Yeah. That's right. It is the time where we allow you to hot take it away to give the world what it needs in the form of some spicy chorizo opinions.

Yeah. That's right. Last week, I, uh, ruffled a few feathers when I suggested that, uh, no more roads should be built at all. Uh, every road should have a bus lane. And, uh, only tradies should be allowed to drive hahahahahahahahaha.

Uh. I don't think there are any feathers left in the world at the amount of ruffling that was going on from that particular take, but it is it is a safe space or allow you to, uh, to give us your opinions. And, Matt, there's a couple of food hot takes we might get to. First off, from listeners, Christopher saying the nutritional qualities of banana is not made up for by its texture, textures, just no good.

I hate the texture of banana. I'm not a banana fan at all. Cannot stand it. Have never enjoyed it and it's got to do with the mush. I do not like the mush. What's disgusting?

You eat other things with mush, I'm sure.

Well, yeah, but Nick, Nick has said a similar thing. Avocado is honestly the most overhyped pile of tasteless mush known to man, and I understand that. But I don't eat an avocado just by peeling it and shoving it in my mouth. It's supposed to be a spread, you know, or it's supposed to be the mush. That's what makes it good.

You're saying there's a time and a place for mush, and it must be accompanied by some deep mushing? Uh, yes. Sidekicks?

Yes, exactly. You need to put the. You need to put the mush on something or in a smoothie. Then I'm all for it. In which case I actually put banana and avocado in my breakfast smoothie.

So hang on. So banana on its own. Terrible banana. Less mushy like with milk or making it smoother. That's okay. And solidifying banana is also okay.

Um, I don't like banana just as it is. As it stands, I like banana lollies, strangely enough. Um, big fan of the little banana lollies. Very very very nutritionally. Good for you as well.

Those little not as much potassium I think in the lollies. Um, Caitlyn reckon hash browns are revolting. I mean that's get off.

A Caitlyn.

That's a hot take.

Caitlyn disgrace. That is a garbage take. That is an absolute bin fire of a take. Well get out of hot.

One because, uh, you try and go into the world and say any form of fried potato is no good. Caitlyn. You are. Wow. There's not many people on your side of enemies. Caitlyn yeah, it's pretty good.

If the world's toddlers found out about what you're saying, they would go at you.

Um, well, let's move outside the world of food now to Alec. Who who's hot take is pram. Parking spots are fair game for everyone.

Oh, look, I had this argument with Belinda recently because I was in I was going into the shopping centre and, and I was like, and I'll just park in this pram spot and she's like, you can't park in the pram spot. And I'm like, of course I can. I've got a five year old in the back and she's like, yeah, but you don't have a pram. And I'm like, yeah, but that's I've got a little kid. That is why they're there. It's to get the kid to the to the shop easier, so they don't have to walk through

So the child talked, talked you out of parking in the child parking spot.

Oh, because, you know, suddenly I don't want to be. I don't want to see. Show her that I'm breaking the rules. Oh. So annoying.

Well, there you go. And, uh, Zoe and, uh, here's a hot take for you. Theaters are any seated concert event shouldn't let anyone in after the show starts.

They're usually. Sometimes you have the option as an artist, actually. So if you can say I will not allow any latecomers. And that's actually totally, uh, that's a totally fine thing to do. Or you say you're allowed to let late comers in. Uh, when I hit this part of the show, so they'll bank them all up, and then as soon as you hit, you know, minute five of the show, then the door opens and all these late comers start walking. In other times, it's all, you know, free for all.

Feeding him into the into the aisles. Yeah.

So, um. No, look, I hear you, Zoe, because sometimes it can be a little bit annoying, but, I mean, you know, you got to sometimes it's the bus's fault. And we've also got Rihanna on the phone. Rihanna, what is your hot take?

Um, okay, so, uh, I might get a lot of heat for this, but I think that there are too many sports in the Olympics.

Oh.

Um.

Wow. Brave enough to say it. Rihanna. But thank you, thank you.

Uh, I think that if you've already got an international stage like soccer or rugby, rugby, then definitely shouldn't be in the Olympics. Uh, um, but the faster, higher, stronger, you know, high jump, 200 meter dash, maybe like hammer throw and just cap it at that.

I hear you. Do you know what? No. Here's here's my thing about the Olympics. You shouldn't be doing any sports that require significant amounts of money to be good at them.

Well, yeah. And I was talking to my husband about this the other day, and we thought, how about it? Just go Hunger Games style. You just do randomly draw Average Joe and Average Jane out of a hat. They have four years to prepare. Um, and they get to do, you know, ten simple. You know, they run as fast as they can. They swim one lap of a pool, they jump as high as they can. Um, yeah. And then it's just the best country win that way.

I am feeling this just the absolute like, uh, you know, anyone that full blown wild card effect. So anyone can be a champion.

Then you might have your shot. Matt.

I've been dreaming of it for such a long time. Ever since I tried to become a Ghanaian citizen to compete in the Olympics for swimming. Um, no, I hear you.

I see we're coming from Roshana. You sort of go back to the original games, you know, where they they weren't doing the sort of skateboarding and BMX side of things or the synchronized swimming back in the day. Do you think we should also revert back to doing it in the nude? Do you think that would lift the ratings?

Um, we might not need to go that far. Okay. I think that we have learnt a few things. Um, as time has gone on.

There are some things good about the modern games.

I'm all for new. I'm all for nude Olympics. I would I would really be into that.

It would have to be late night only screening then if they were to televise it.

Yeah, I mean pixelated. You wouldn't, you wouldn't want to be the long jumpers though would you. You'd be digging sand out of everywhere for days.

Oh, that pit, that would seem plenty of things. Yeah. I'm with you as well, Rashaan. As far as like, I find sports where an expert judge needs to give you a score as, like, pretty difficult as a as a task like the diving. You know, there's always the Russian judge and the Chinese judge and the Australian judge all disagreeing over if that was a good dive or not. I find that really difficult to, to get on board.

Well, that's the thing.

It's like a technicality, like with all the gymnastics, like, you know, whether a girl smiles enough in her routine, how is that like.

You know.

It just does. It doesn't make any sense. It's like, did she do a triple backflip and land it? Yeah. Okay, great. That's what, you know. Like it doesn't. It's. Yeah.

If we hear.

You two metres or if he's jumping ten metres, like there's a difference in it's measurable. Whereas like yeah subjective.

Will you have did you ever have any Olympic dreams? Rashauna. Could you almost have made it into the Olympics for anything.

Oh no no no no no no not a competitive bone in my body. So yeah, it's rich coming from me, I'm sure.

No, look, thank you very much. That's exactly what we need. We need unqualified opinions for this segment. So thank you very much for jumping in.

That's what a hot take is all about. Roshana.

Um, thanks very much. Hey, we'll let you get back to it. Thanks, guys.

Order up. Just how you like it.

Perfect.

Well, Matt, the Vienna adventure continues here, looking out over a bit of a drizzly Austrian capital at the moment. It was beautiful weather during the week though, and I got to go along to this open air venue and check out some of Australia's finest King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. Playing to a packed house in Vienna. It was a killer venue. Killer set. Oh my God, so good.

How many people do you reckon were at a King Gizzard and the lizard? Lizard gig in Australia.

Would have been about 800.

No. Are you kidding me that.

People loved.

It? Oh my God. And I was.

Standing next to this German guy, said goodbye to him. He's like, oh, where are you from? I'm Australia from Melbourne, same as Kim guys. And he's like, oh, it's great. I love Australian bands. I love King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, love Tex Perkins, love the Go-Betweens like, how do you say this in this thick German accent? No, look, it was amazing.

That's the benefit of King Gizzard, right? When you're saying basically nothing in your lyrics. Everyone can can relate to it. You know what I mean? Everyone worldwide.

I that's a very good stuff. I really like rattlesnake, rattlesnake, rattlesnake.

Rattlesnake. It's internationally. It's like you can translate to anyone. It's genius. I'm jealous.

It is genius. But it's also like it's not the most accessible music you can get. Like one of the songs, it was like you're playing the song. It's about 13 minutes long, you know, 15 minutes long could be the one song. It's. It's the what? There's such a great example of what you can do if you just have no rules. You try something interesting and then you put that idea out and move straight on to the next idea.

How many albums do they have now?

25.

How many?

25 albums? 25 albums.

That's ridiculous.

2017 they put out five albums that year.

That is ridiculous.

All right, well, let's move on from the King Gizz in Austria to another performance that is likely to draw a crowd of 800 to 1000 people. And that is Alex Dyson potentially doing five minutes of stand up comedy.

Still potentially. Mate, you got offered to do a gig in Austria. You take it, bro. Like it? Like you can only win from here. It's not like you're going to be walking down the street any time and anyone's going to be like, oh bro, I saw you and the Austrian, you know, bar somewhere bombing. You're like, this is total anonymity, dude. You just got to do it.

Look, but I respect the crowd, so I do not want to get up unless I have some quality. Unlike you, Matt, I respect the audience. Okay.

Fair enough. Not just enough for that sweet Austrian dollar that I'm sure you're going to be collecting from your open mic gig. Exactly.

Right. So I want to make sure the material is there. And to do that, um, I am going to plagiarize. I'm going to be like, Teemu, I'm going to steal your jokes. Allegedly put.

Them. Allegedly.

All right. Allegedly steal your jokes. Um, I'll be inspired by your jokes to see what I can do. Because I'm not. Not a stand up. I need all the help I can get. And so thank you very much for sending the jokes in. Um, Bron re put up a question. Other than just what's the best joke in general as to what? What sort of material do you think would work if I'm doing a stand up set in Austria? So we tried it again and we've got a few gags here. Matt.

Yeah, that's right, Joshua has launched us off. Uh, what do you call a grouchy German, a sauerkraut?

Is it? Crowd. Is it crowd?

A word for a German person?

Yeah, I'm just not so sure the offensiveness of it feels.

It feels not nice.

I think it's what? Like. Yeah. It says its allies.

Look, I just googled it. Says it's derogatory. I'm sorry. I didn't realize what that is.

I do not want, um, you know, off Strudels being thrown at my face. Oh, my.

God, no, people are saying it. Well, okay, someone's saying Kraut is a word that literally means herb or cabbage, and so isn't an offensive word in itself. However, as. You know the word for someone. It is offensive. I genuinely. I'm sorry. I had no idea. I had no idea. Why is your comedy getting me in trouble? Dyson, this is bullshit.

Did I, um, m message as well? If all the jokes go to shit, I'd finish the set with. I was trying my best.

No, it's supposed to be Australian. My best. It works better if you've got a Scottish accent or Australian. Me? Best maybe. Um. Nick.

Australian. My best.

Uh, Nick says an Australian man is working in the US and has to go on a long drive with his colleagues. He pulls to the side of the road to have a wee in. One of his colleagues says that's gross. And he replies, oh, Dunker.

Okay.

What's going on here?

I don't know, because.

Because he's gone for a week. All right. Yeah. It's got to pull down his pants for that gross domain.

Total or big or something like that.

Gross. Gross means big. So when I said before, go, go for a gross beer, that's a big beer.

Oh yes.

He says dankeschön. He says, thank you for mentioning.

When the other person going, that's gross. And it's like, yes, thank you. Okay, cool. No, that's yeah, that's not bad, I like that.

Um, Jess says, what's the worst thing about Austria? I don't know, but the flag is a big minus. Which is, I guess, the inverse of the Swiss joke with the flag is a big plus. But in Austria it's red, white, red with a big line through the middle, which I guess does look like a minus. It's not as famous as the plus on the Swiss flag. But yeah, you could try that.

Well, here's the thing, Alex Dawson. You don't ask people for help and then tell them it's not good enough. Okay? So if you could do it, then do it. Otherwise, I'd be saying thank you and taking all of these jokes to your next gig when I. When is it? Come on. When can we expect it?

Oh, look, I might be able to nab five minutes this weekend in Vienna. I'll. I'll check.

Stay tuned to Matt and Alex all day. Breakfast next week. Alex Dyson is going to record the whole thing. And are we going to get all five minutes? Yeah, of course you are the set. Of course you are. That is the only way you're going to do it. You're going to put microphones in the crowd, a phone on the on the edge of the stage, and you're going to record the entire entire set, and we're going to hear all five minutes of it here on Matt and Alex all day. Breakfast.

All five minutes. Are you kidding me? No.

That's what we want. That's what we expect.

You're like the Austrian min, Alex.

Austria's men.

Shout out.

To our favorite open mic friend debut.

Yeah, it'll be my debut.

Oh my God.

Uh, maybe I should steal some of Min's germ, come up to the Austrian crowd and go. I know what you like. You're just here for the racism.

I'm all right. This is Matt and Alex. All day breakfast. Hope you had a good one today. We've had a bit of fun. We're going to be back here. Same time, same place tomorrow. And in the meantime, as you've heard today, we are always posting questions, etc. on our Instagram. Hit us up at Matt and Alex just to make sure you're up to date with everything.

Hope you've had a good one. We will catch you with another big episode of All Day Breakfast tomorrow.

Bye bye.

That's it. The all day breakfast kitchen is closed. Got something to add to the show? Slide into our DMs.

At Matt and Alex.