Do some days seem like a never-ending emotional rollercoaster living with your strong-willed and/or highly sensitive one? Like no matter what you say or do, they just can’t seem to get it together? On days like these, you might be fighting like hell to stay calm on the outside, but inside your heart is racing and your stomach is tied up in knots. And these days seem way longer than a mere 24 hours. By bedtime, no wonder you finally blow a gasket…you’re like a human tea kettle and that steam must...
Jul 09, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 296
As a mom, figuring out when to give my kids a phone has been one of the hardest topics to tackle. While there have been conveniences once they got a phone, like being able to know where they are at all times and reach them if I need to, the cons have far outweighed the pros in my family. A phone is the default way lots of kids stay in touch, organize activities, and learn about the world. But it can also suck them into the online world, and make it harder for them to engage in reality. So this w...
Jul 02, 2024•27 min•Ep. 295
My conversations with Michaeleen Doucleff are so much fun that sometimes I forget to hit record! Usually it doesn’t even matter what we talk about, but this time it’s extra good. You know those times when your kid is acting like a little contrarian. You say up, they say down. You say yes, they say no. And around and around and around. Michaeleen has come up with an amazingly simple sentence that shifts this dynamic like magic. It will turn them not just into collaborators but actual co-creators....
Jun 25, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 294
When you’re in the trenches raising kids, it can feel like the busiest, hardest season of life. Now, imagine trying to start and run a business at the same time? I think my son, Cory, would say that’s low key insane. He’d also hate me claiming to know what he’d say and attempting to use his lingo…whatevs:). And just like it rarely feels like a perfect time to get pregnant but you go for it anyway, same same when it comes to starting a business. Turns out the pack leadership skills that work so w...
Jun 18, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 293
When people join the Mastermind Parenting community, they come seeking answers about the way their children behave. What they usually don’t realize is that they’re not just struggling with “bad” behaviors. They need a space where they can unlearn generations of bad advice, and retrain their thinking around the rewards and challenges of parenting sensitive kids. This week we’re talking about a mom who is just starting that process. I’ll share the experiences that are resonating with her, and how ...
Jun 11, 2024•25 min•Ep. 292
Can we just be real for a minute, and admit that parenting is hard? Kids are wild and wonderful, but their behavior can sometimes be really confusing. That’s never more true than when a kiddo is a delight around one parent, but mean and antagonistic around the other. That’s the situation one of my Mastermind moms faced when she joined us. It’s been a process, for sure, but this week she shared with us how much things have improved. And it started with joining a safe, supportive community where s...
Jun 04, 2024•24 min•Ep. 291
Y’all know that Michaeleen Doucleff is my favorite. Her book, Hunt, Gather, Parent , has become a must-read for my Mastermind parents. Since we first connected we’ve spent hours, on and off the mic, vibing and swapping parenting stories. One story I’ve been dying to get more detail about is the decision Michaeleen made to start a whole school out of her house! It’s a remarkable tale of agency, confidence, and a mama knowing what’s best for her kiddo. I guarantee you’ll find it fascinating. In th...
May 29, 2024•54 min•Ep. 290
When people find out I’m a parenting coach, they’ll often say they should probably take a parenting class. Now, you know I believe in the value of coaching. But there are lots of everyday opportunities to connect with our kids and teach them how to navigate the world. Stories you read together for fun can be a great source of wisdom if you just know what to look for and reinforce. I call this the “spinach in the spaghetti sauce” method of teaching kids life lessons, and I’ve got a fun example to...
May 21, 2024•30 min•Ep. 289
Mother’s Day is so loaded for so many reasons. Now that it’s in the rearview for another year, this is a great time to share some more of my most embarrassing/inspiring mothering mistakes. Embarrassing because they seem painfully obvious in hindsight. Inspiring because they’re a loving reminder from me to you that no parent is perfect. We all want to do better for our kiddos than our parents did for us. The way to do that isn’t to obsess over never messing up, or keep our mistakes secret. It’s t...
May 14, 2024•35 min•Ep. 288
When kids don't do simple things for themselves, it's easy to future trip and freak out. But what if you knew that they'd be okay and it will all turn out just fine? What if you could have that reassurance? Would it change how you show up now when you're feeling fed up about them not knowing how to make a hair appointment, make a sandwich, or do their own laundry? If you could drop the panic, what would you do instead? How could you course correct when you want your kids to learn basic "life-ing...
May 07, 2024•15 min•Ep. 287
Raising our kids to understand and share our values is a central part of being a parent. But so often when we send them out into the world, they come back using words or acting in ways that conflict with the things we’ve tried to teach them. Recently, a Mastermind mom shared that her six-year-old came home from playing at a neighbor’s house and called something “gay” like it meant “bad.” This resonated extra strongly with me. All three of my own kids, when they were younger, heard the exact same...
Apr 30, 2024•27 min•Ep. 286
When our kids are talking down about themselves, of course our first instinct is to push back. But even though we say “you’re so beautiful,” or “you’re so smart,” or “you’ll get better if you practice,” the message we send is “I’m not listening and understanding your experience.” If you want to know the secret to tackling your kiddo’s insecurities without undermining their agency and self-determination, this ep is for you! I just coached one of my fabulous Mastermind moms through this, and I kno...
Apr 16, 2024•21 min•Ep. 285
If you’re a parent with a kiddo who’s constantly angry and acting out, a diagnosis of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) can seem like an explanation for a lot of disruptive behavior. But what if that defiance and opposition are actually caused by other sensitivity? I’ve worked with so many parents who struggle to understand why their strong-willed kid is lashing out. An ODD diagnosis can seem like an answer, but the label doesn’t come with the tools to actually help their sensitive little huma...
Apr 09, 2024•27 min•Ep. 284
Housework. Homemaking. Chores. Whatever you call it, it’s hard work to maintain a safe, clean house, and it’s made so much harder by the expectations around that work. So many moms, whether they’re employed outside the home or not, find themselves in charge of a lot more of those household tasks than their kids or their partners. If we’re going to change those expectations we have to change the way we talk with our kids about the labor that’s so often invisible to them. Coach and author Lori Sug...
Apr 02, 2024•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 283
Kimberly Samson is the author of F*Ck This , a candid and hilarious collection of essays about the journey through midlife. She’s also one of my oldest friends, who has witnessed a ton of my formative moments as a person and a parent. In this conversation, Kimby shares what motivated her to write a book about the midlife experience and what she’s learned by living through it. She also lifts the curtain on some of my best (and not so best) moments as a mom. It’s a whole new perspective how I’ve g...
Mar 26, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 282
Every parent has some version of this story. Your kid crosses a line that’s important to you. You exchange angry words, but eventually you talk it out and repair your rapport. Now you’re stuck with conflicting feelings. You don’t want to cause further disruption to your relationship with your child, but you also know their behavior isn’t likely to change without some consequence. This time, I’m sharing the experience of a Masterminder who was caught in this exact dilemma. We’ll discuss the diffi...
Mar 19, 2024•38 min•Ep. 281
Therapy can be a big help for some people. But for stressed-out parents, healing our old wounds and stepping up for our kiddos often requires a different approach. One of my Masterminders, Dr. Shawn Hondorp, has experienced this disconnect from the inside. Shawn is an experienced clinical psychologist who isn’t satisfied with the tools and techniques of the traditional diagnostic therapy methods. She’s developing a new approach to improving mental health. Shawn’s practices reject pathology and e...
Mar 12, 2024•51 min•Ep. 280
Last week’s conversation about ADHD got my brain firing about what a diagnosis can and can’t do for the parents of a highly sensitive child. Getting that label can be a starting point, but our mental health system doesn’t train medical professionals - or support struggling parents - to understand what those kiddos need to adapt and thrive. Membership Coordinator (and Mastermind Co-parent) Lindsey joins me on the mic this week, to share a success story from a new Masterminder. From there we talk ...
Mar 05, 2024•41 min•Ep. 279
An ADHD diagnosis can be a welcome answer for parents who are struggling to understand their child’s behavior. But a diagnosis doesn’t come with a user’s manual, and kids especially can have a hard time understanding what all the clinical terms mean for them and their needs. This time I’m in conversation with pediatric neuropsychologists Dr. Katia Fredriksen and Dr. Yael E. Rothman. They’ve written Different Thinkers: ADHD a kid-friendly guide that aims to help little ones understand and celebra...
Feb 27, 2024•56 min•Ep. 278
We all want our kids to grow up confident and self-sufficient. But by doing too much and protecting our kids from failure, so many well-meaning moms and dads end up discouraging the autonomy they want their kids to achieve. Welcome to the first episode of an ongoing conversation with my friend and fave, Michaeleen Doucleff, author of the phenomenal book Hunt, Gather, Parent . We use real stories from my Mastermind Parents to help us find antidotes to the performative, perfectionist parenting mod...
Feb 20, 2024•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 277
No parent loves to admit feeling annoyed by their kids. It’s tempting to dismiss little problems, and try to ignore the frustration they cause inside us. This is extra hard if we’ve experienced gaslighting in the past. If we’ve gotten the message from partners or parents that our emotions aren’t trustworthy, it can be so easy to repeat that pattern and not trust our reactions. But if we pay attention to them, small frustrations can give us big info about what’s going on with our kiddos. And if y...
Feb 13, 2024•22 min•Ep. 276
Emotionally immature parents set us up for lots of challenges in our own role as family pack leaders. One of the most difficult ways that shows up is when our actual kiddos act in ways that echo behavior we endured from emotionally immature grown-ups. This week I invite you to listen in on some coaching I did with two of my amazing Masterminders. They’re making huge strides recognizing the behavior that’s triggering their instinctive responses, and using their pack leadership skills to break the...
Feb 06, 2024•24 min•Ep. 275
Look out, listener, I have another new book crush, and I can’t wait to discuss her work with you! I’ve recently been captivated by Lindsay C. Gibson and her book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents . It spoke to so much of my experience with my own parents and their resistance to reflecting on how they raised me, and it also explains the conditioning that so many of my Mastermind parents are struggling against! I’m ready to start a whole conversation on the topics this book raised. I’...
Jan 30, 2024•40 min•Ep. 274
If you’ve listened to the podcast, you’ve probably heard me mention how much I love television. Since I was a kid, TV has been a place where I could escape from reality for a little while. But it’s also helped me to understand what kind of family relationships I want, and modeled the kind of parent I want to show up as. I recently rediscovered The Mary Tyler Moore Show , which was a favorite when I was in college. An episode I just watched showed me that our worries about perfection aren’t a new...
Jan 23, 2024•47 min•Ep. 273
My mind is on fire with all the things we’re discovering in my new Pack Leadership group. One of our newest Masterminders is experiencing a very familiar kid scenario: pulled in too many directions, never enough time, her energetic daughter is seeking attention by acting out. Usually, I’d send her to our NICE Framework, to help her better understand her daughter’s behavior. But this time, I took a step back and asked about HER day-to-day experience. It turns out she’s got her own patterns and tr...
Jan 16, 2024•28 min•Ep. 272
We’re coming into 2024 with a whole new perspective on the pack leadership our families need. We’re done performing robotic perfection. We’re rejecting the script, tips, and how-tos that reinforce our feelings of inadequacy. We’re giving ourselves the grace to feel our feelings, and granting ourselves permission to fuck up sometimes. We’re embracing self-awareness, and celebrating our messiness. We’re showing up as whole, healthy, emotionally expressive humans, and showing our kids that they can...
Jan 09, 2024•35 min•Ep. 271
It’s a brand new year, and a new opportunity to set goals for ourselves. It’s a chance to work toward being the kind of parent you want to be, and to step up as the pack leader your family really needs. But traditional New Year’s resolutions usually don’t cut it when you’re talking about a lifetime project like parenting. This time we’re resharing an episode that will help you give yourself the tools and support you need to make real, lasting changes. In this episode, you’ll learn: A step-by-ste...
Jan 02, 2024•36 min•Ep. 270
We all know that holiday festivities can be stressful. When you’re navigating a sensitive, strong-willed child through extended family get-togethers and seemingly endless days with no schedule or structure, it can be especially nerve-wracking. What your family needs is leadership. The episode we’re resharing this week will give you the tools to step into that pack leader role, set up the structures your kids need to feel safe, and follow through on implementing them, even when it’s tempting to l...
Dec 26, 2023•16 min•Ep. 269
The holiday season is a time for making lovely, warm memories, and nothing pours cold water on holiday cheer faster than other adults judging you for the way your kids behave. This week’s episode is a throwback to one of my most powerful tools to build up your confidence, keep judgment in perspective, and short-circuit the defensiveness before you take it out on your kids. Listen to help you make family memories that last, at the holidays and any time. In this episode, you’ll learn: The surprisi...
Dec 19, 2023•19 min•Ep. 268
Even the most joyous holiday events disrupt routines. Getting together with family and friends, sitting down for extra-long meals, and observing rituals and traditions are all out of the ordinary. Of course your kiddos might have a hard time knowing how they’re supposed to behave. They need you to step up as pack leader even more than usual, to set expectations, communicate expectations, and make a plan to keep things on the rails. This classic episode will help you get into that mindset, and gi...
Dec 12, 2023•30 min•Ep. 267
