The Winter holidays can be a struggle for parents. We want to provide plenty of space for our kids to relax and de-stress. But too little structure can quickly turn into restlessness and boredom and tension. This week we’re listening back to a classic episode that features the timeless wisdom of the sage Lorelai Gilmore. Her example will help you find the courage you need to set better boundaries for your family (and minimize the stress for yourself) this holiday season. In this episode, you’ll ...
Dec 05, 2023•21 min•Ep. 266
Our Mastermind Monthly calls are always eye-opening, but this one was so on point I had to share it with you. In this season that’s so focused on gratitude, it can be especially frustrating when our kiddos don’t understand how fortunate they are. There are all sorts of popular ways to practice gratitude, but what good are they if your child takes their home and family for granted? But acting entitled doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your kids. It’s often a sign they need you to take a d...
Nov 21, 2023•38 min•Ep. 265
It’s no secret that I love my Mastermind community. The ways we support and challenge each other are just magical. Masterminder Aryn is a perfect example of that. She came to us in total overwhelm, so focused on being available for her family that she couldn’t even let herself close the bathroom door to take a shower. Through honest, vulnerable conversations and lots and lots of empathy, she’s grown as a parent and a person, and helped many other Masterminders to see that they don’t have to do i...
Nov 14, 2023•59 min•Ep. 264
I didn’t know exactly what I was going to talk about with Masterminder Liz, but I just knew it would turn out to be a real and revealing conversation. Like so many of us modern moms, Liz is a recovering perfectionist. We run ourselves ragged trying to get everything right all the time. That’s not sustainable anywhere in life, and it’s especially impossible when it comes to parenting. Liz and I dig into the personal history and social expectations that fool us into thinking that perfection is des...
Nov 07, 2023•56 min•Ep. 263
Treating our kids fairly makes a lot of instinctive sense. It’s natural to want everybody to get equal everything. But different kids have different needs. When they all get the same attention and resources, they’ll often wind up with very different outcomes. Effective pack leadership requires an equity approach. We need to see our children as the whole, unique, special humans they are, and to show up for each of them in the ways that serve their individual needs best. Masterminder Lauren joins ...
Oct 31, 2023•57 min•Ep. 262
Judging other parents is so natural, so human, and so not helpful. I can tell you from experience. When you learn a better way to do things, it’s really challenging to not give side-eye to those who haven’t gotten on your level. Which is why I had to have Masterminder Samantha on to tell this story she shared in a recent call. Sam was caught up in a situation where someone else’s kiddo took a tumble and, even though they weren’t hurt, their father reacted with anger and scolding. It would have b...
Oct 24, 2023•29 min•Ep. 261
Sibling rivalry is such a big topic, you just know my conversation with Michaeleen Doucleff had to be a two-parter. In this second episode, we’re talking about what motivates siblings to fight in the first place: strong societal expectations of tension between siblings, and parental praise that kids can’t help but take as a comparison. We’ll show you a whole different way to imagine the sibling relationship, that’s built on empathy and cooperation instead of competition. In this episode, you’ll ...
Oct 17, 2023•35 min•Ep. 260
So many folks sign up for coaching or come to my free calls desperate to get their kids to stop fighting with their siblings. When our beloved kiddos are at each others throats, it sends our stress levels through the roof. What if told you that sibling rivalry isn’t inevitable? In fact, the way siblings antagonize each other in our families is almost unheard of in many other cultures. When Michaeleen Doucleff and I get behind the mic, you know you’re in for a meaty conversation. Join us for part...
Oct 10, 2023•43 min•Ep. 259
Masterminder Shawn recently opened up about a common struggle for parents of highly-sensitive kids. Her son’s birthday weekend with extended family left him overstimulated and dysregulated, and her frustrated by crossed boundaries and judgy relatives. Shawn’s takeaways were important. She’s trying to better understand her triggers, and to be more clear about her boundaries and expectations with other adults. But really, Shawn (and every parent in America) is the subject of a failed experiment in...
Oct 03, 2023•51 min•Ep. 258
Our latest Hunt, Gather, Parent conversation was so big and juicy, we couldn’t fit it into just one episode! In part two of this episode, journalist and author Michaeleen Doucleff is back to help us unpack what happens when other adults are judging us for our parenting choices. We respond to a real-life scenario submitted by a Mastermind parent, and Michaeleen shares her own experience of dealing with judgment from her own mom. We also talk about some strategies for dealing with kiddos when they...
Sep 26, 2023•45 min•Ep. 257
When I sat down with Michaeleen Doucleff to record the next episode in our Hunt, Gather, Parent series, I knew it was a meaty topic. We’ve all experienced that feeling of being judged for our parenting, by grandparents, other kids’ parents, and even random strangers. I’ve coached so many parents through coping with judgy adults. Michaeleen has reported on how so many other cultures teach empathy for other parents, rather than shaming. There was so much to dig into we couldn’t fit it into one epi...
Sep 19, 2023•44 min•Ep. 256
This week, we’re talking about Big Deal, Little Deal, the most important tool I teach for staying grounded when a kid is stressed out. It will help you lead your family through tense situations, and help your kids develop life-long self-reliance and skills to figure out life. Being a kid is tough sometimes. Lost homework, a missed bus, or a wardrobe malfunction can feel like a world-ending disaster. When your kiddo is strong-willed or highly sensitive, those overwhelming feelings often turn into...
Sep 12, 2023•38 min•Ep. 255
Ever since I first read Hunt, Gather, Parent by award-winning journalist Michaleen Doucleff, I’ve felt the urge to change the conversation. So much parenting advice feels cursory and performative. What if we could move past the quick tips model, explore the real challenges and triumphs of raising kids, and what’s behind our ideas about what it means to be a good parent? In many parts of the world, parents are raising families using traditional methods they learn from other parents, not from book...
Sep 05, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 254
Moms are in a no-win situation when it comes to how we spend our time. When we’re choosing between activities with kiddos or time focused on our grown-up priorities, we get a guilt trip no matter what we choose. We’re told to make everyone else happy at the expense of our own happiness and health, even though it’s not physically possible. How do we get out of this trap? By refusing to accept the guilt, and turning the tension caused by failing to meet these impossible standards into an opportuni...
Aug 29, 2023•14 min•Ep. 253
The toddler years are a source of joy and anxiety for a lot of first-time parents. We want to encourage our newly-mobile little ones as they explore their surroundings, but we also want to keep them safe. And, we’re in charge of connecting them to a world that has schedules and time limits, which just aren’t intuitive to a tiny, curious mind. Who wouldn’t be stressed out by all that? Empathy is the key to managing those competing priorities, for our little ones AND ourselves. Trying to see the w...
Aug 22, 2023•34 min•Ep. 252
My strong-willed son has taught me so much about dealing with anxiety. Parenting him helped me learn how much of the behavior kiddos struggle with is motivated by the scary signals they’re getting from their bodies. Knowing him as an adult has helped me recognize my own anxious tendencies, and how to manage them with loving curiosity. This time I’m sharing some of the things I’ve learned, with a big assist from our beloved Judy Blume. In this episode, you’ll learn: How anxiety can motivate stron...
Aug 15, 2023•40 min•Ep. 251
When siblings fight, it pushes all the mama bear instinct buttons. We can’t help but jump in and try to stop it. But our natural impulse - to angrily confront the one who “should know better” - can set up our squabbling sibs for even more friction down the road. On last month’s Masterminding Monthly call, I got the opportunity to coach a mom struggling with how to respond to a classic sibling dynamic. Younger kiddo worships the older one, and wants to be around them all the time. Meanwhile, olde...
Aug 08, 2023•30 min•Ep. 250
Sometimes a Mastermind parent struggles with an issue that’s so damn relatable, we can’t help but share it. If you’ve lived through the middle school years, you’ve probably seen your kid struggle with changing social dynamics, and rejection by kids who used to be their friends. It’s not only heartbreaking to watch, but our instinct to protect often only makes things worse. The key to helping them through this emotionally challenging stage of life is helping them face it on their terms. In this e...
Aug 01, 2023•19 min•Ep. 249
Have you ever been the parent whose kiddo was bossing other kids around during a playdate? I have, and so has the mom who was on a recent Mastermind call. She’s here to share a story I call “Goldfishgate,” that’s so funny and so relatable. You’ll recognize how it feels to watch your kid push their friends around, and how Mastermind skills can help you recognize and address underlying causes of challenging behavior. In this episode, you’ll learn: What can make a normally reasonable kid turn into ...
Jul 25, 2023•21 min
Parenting can be embarrassing! It’s natural to feel some shame when your potty-trained kiddo smells like a full diaper, or when they’re walking around in public with a finger up their nose. But your best tool for dealing with those embarrassing kid behaviors is putting the shame aside, and creating a home where your kids know they can talk about anything without judgment. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to build trust with your kids by holding space for them to share their most embarrassing m...
Jul 18, 2023•20 min
When our kids are upset about things we see as minor, even the kindest parent can find their patience wearing thin. When they’re melting down because the hairstyle you spent time on isn’t perfect, or when they suddenly refuse to wear the clothes they really wanted at the store, it’s hard not to get frustrated. If you can resist the urge to take it personally, and wait until the storm has passed, you’ll have a much better chance of diagnosing what’s actually triggering those reactions. In this ep...
Jul 11, 2023•22 min
Every kiddo sometimes has a rough night and needs to crawl into bed with a parent. But what do you do when a rough night is every night for nine years? If you’re anything like a mom I’ve been coaching, you get caught up in self-doubt, and you blame yourself for not doing the thing. But a lot of the time, what’s getting in your way is a part of your personality that’s trying to protect you from hurt and fear. What if you could take a step back and think about your responses from a place of unders...
Jul 04, 2023•28 min•Ep. 245
My brilliant, beautiful daughter Avery is turning 22. I’m so proud of the woman she’s become, and the relationship we’ve built. I’m celebrating her by opening up about all the ways I screwed up raising her. Avery grew up as the younger sibling of a strong-willed older brother, so she experienced it all. But we’ve proven that being human and making mistakes doesn’t have to drive a wedge between mother and daughter. In this episode, you’ll learn: How honesty and humility about your mistakes can he...
Jun 26, 2023•29 min
Judy Blume’s book “Blubber” is a vital book that looks at how kids experience bullying. Judy writes for and about kids with such honesty. Her characters are full, complex people that she trusts her young readers will relate to. She writes with humor and heart, without sugarcoating the struggles that kids face growing up. In “Blubber,” she writes candidly about how bullying happens, and how even the threat of bullying can make kids turn on their peers. As an adult, it’s such an important read bec...
Jun 20, 2023•26 min
It’s so easy for kids to overdo screen time, especially when school’s out. Screens and their content are designed to dominate their attention. Of course, we want to help our kids build a healthy relationship with that influence. But setting limits on screen time causes friction in so many families. Not only are we the first generation of parents who have to help our kids build a healthy relationship with screens, we’re out here struggling to manage our own screen time! The good news is, it is po...
Jun 13, 2023•20 min
Our fav pediatrician, Dr. Sarah Miller, is back for a conversation about neurodiversity, discipline styles, and why she chooses to be the Mama Bear for her kids. The inspiration for this episode came from a speech Dr. Sarah wrote about the way her children thrived at a preschool that teaches typically developing kids together with their peers who have disabilities and neurodivergence. Part of the reason that so many kids succeed in that environment is because of the conscious discipline techniqu...
Jun 05, 2023•56 min
This week we’re revisiting one of my all-time favorite conversations. If you’re a parent, especially one raising a strong-willed child, it’s a must-listen! Michaeleen Doucleff is the author of “Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans.” She’s also a lovely human who shares her wisdom in the unpreachy-est and most beautiful way. “Hunt, Gather, Parent” is unlike any other parenting book I’ve ever read. It has quickly become...
May 30, 2023•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 240
This week we’re taking you back to the early days of the pod, with an ep that describes the kind of kiddo and parent I most love to work with. This is the episode that some of my most favorite clients have said, “You described my kid like I had never heard before. I finally felt like someone really understood what I was dealing with.” Puzzling Kids are often sensitive souls who get overwhelmed by everything the world throws at them. Their frustration gets channeled into acting out, or escaping i...
May 23, 2023•48 min•Ep. 239
Let’s talk about time out and more importantly, why you’re a good parent even if you’ve been disciplining your kids by putting them in time out. About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S. At Mastermind Parenting, w...
May 16, 2023•31 min•Ep. 238
Today, I’m talking about your Mother’s Day plan. We’ll break down why it’s often stressful and disappointing. My Mother’s Day wish is that you’ll leave our time together ready to make sure this year is better. About Randi Rubenstein Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays. She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Ra...
May 09, 2023•23 min•Ep. 237
