Welcome to the Mastering Midlife Podcast where we talk about all the crazy fun things that happen when you are a midlife mama. I'm your host Heather London, and let's dig in. Hey guys, okay, normally I'm full of rarararaw and cheer and giving you tips on how to live your best midlife, but today's different. I want it to be really raw and honest with you and share in my experience. And it feels brutal. So why do I feel so brutal right now? Because I'm in Costa Rica and you think,
hey, everything is great in Costa Rica, but my kids just came to visit. Or should I say, my kids just left from visiting. And I didn't think it was going to be this hard because the whole reason I'm here is to stop momming them and let them go and allow them to be free and then refine who I am and live my life. But guys, I gotta tell you, this is so hard. We had the best six days together, the best days we've ever had.
We had so much fun. And then they just got in that shuttle to go to the airport and I just, oh, the second they drove away, it just all came flooding over me. It felt sick to my stomach. I instantly missed them. I felt lonely and felt like I was back at square one again. And so I wanted to share this with you because this is real. This is like what mommy is all about. It's so hard to let go of your heart because that's what these kids are to me. They're my heart,
they're my soul. I just love them so, so much. And I don't want it to be this hard. But it is so freaking hard to let them go. So this is normal and I'm grateful that I'm this sad because it means that I have a huge love. You can only be this sad. Your heart can only break this much and it be so intense. Because when you have the absolute biggest love you've ever had in your life, like these kids,
they're my everything. And if you're listening to this, I know that you know what I'm talking about. But I want to share this with you because mommy is so hard and we don't talk about how hard it is because we always want to be perfect. We always want to seem like we have our shit together. And then we can do anything and we do it all by ourselves. But I want to share this with you because I want you to know that it's okay to feel this sad. Like it just hurts so much to let them go.
And they're just going on their adventures. But here I am going through it again. Like the letting go part. And I just want to feel it. I don't want to pretend it's not happening. I want to feel it. I want to share it with you so that you know that this is coming. It's happening. It's a thing and it's really hard. But you can do hard things. It's going to be okay because you know on the other side of that you're going to rediscover who you are and what's
important to you. And you're going to go and create an amazing life. And the more you do that, the easier it gets to let go of what was. And I'm not saying let go of your kids. I'm not saying like let go of these amazing human beings from a place of disconnecting. No, it's a transformation. It's going from doing everything, keeping them alive, taking care of them, teaching them how to be good human beings to trusting that you've done the best job you can. And now it's up to them.
And they're going to be fine. But it's and I know my kids are going to be fine. I know they're going to be fantastic, but it's just that letting go part. It is so hard because we are so so close. And that's why it feels like my heart is being ripped out. But I'm processing the emotions. Just like I teach all of my clients how to process the emotions. There is no shame in feeling the sad. There's no shame in showing you how hard this is for me. And having tears streamed
on my face as I record this because I think that's what life is all about. It's never just easy. It's never just one straight road. It's ups and downs. It's highs and lows. And like I said before, the fact that this is so hard for me, so painful for me means that I have this huge love that not a lot of people have. It just is so rare. And I feel so so grateful. But at the same time, as I'm processing it, I feel sick to my stomach and my heart is hurting. So I'm using all the
tools that I have, all the tools that I teach my clients. I practice what I preach. And I'm sitting in the fields. I'm allowing the feels. Most of the time when stuff like this comes up, we hate it because it hurts so much. And it hurts so much. And so I just wanted to share with you how I process this. I feel it. I let it out. I cry. I walk around. I connect into my heart. I feel the sadness like it's
so so visceral, so real, so painful. And I just allow it. I want to run away from it. I really do, but I know that that's not the right answer. And so I'm holding space for myself. And there's no shame at all. This is part of my experience. And I'm embracing all of it as hard as it is. I'm here for it because I know it's kind of like the end of one era, but the beginning of another. And over time,
this will get easier. Over time, I'll be able to see them and then not like totally have a breakdown when they leave because it's still fresh. And so I'm okay with that. I'm holding space for myself. If I can be my biggest advocate, if I can be my kindest, gentlest friend, if I can create a space where it's like, yes, it's okay to cry, to be sad, and just allow it and feel it and process it. So deep, so intense. And so grateful for being able to have this experience. And the reason I
wanted to share this is because I wanted you to know that it's real. All the feelings that you're having about letting go of your kids, they're valid, they're real. And it means that you have an amazing, great love in your life. And it doesn't make it easier. It's still going to be hard, but it's okay. And I want as women to create a community, a space where it's okay. Like if I need to talk to somebody, I can talk to somebody. And I have that with my mom. That's like the kind of
community that I've created for myself. I have that female support system that only a female could understand what I'm saying. Like when I talk about how, how much my heart hurts, it feels like it's been ripped out of my chest. And I feel sick to my stomach like I'm actually going to be sick. A mom can understand that. And that's why it's so important that we support each other. There is nothing more powerful than when women, especially moms, support each other and lift
each other up. And I think the world is a better place. I think we are the most powerful group that ever was and ever will be with this feminine energy and this open heart. And this understanding and connection of what it's like to be moms, to be women, and then to let go of our children. You guys, this is so powerful. And so if you have friends that are going through this,
talk about it, get together, have a party over it. All of the things like just celebrate, celebrate how hard it is because it means that you have this crazy intense love in your life. And not everybody can say that. So my friends, this is a short one today because I'm just still processing. And it just happened like 20 minutes ago. And that's why I wanted to share it with you because I'm like, damn, and I'm not a cryer. Like I'd rarely cry. And I rarely
feel these big, huge emotions like this. And so overwhelming, so overwhelming. And sometimes it can be hard to process those big, huge emotions. And the best way to do it is to create space for yourself just to allow it. Sit in it, feel it, and it will pass. And you will come out the other side of it stronger, feeling better for sure. And ladies, you are not alone.
You are never alone. Whatever you're going through, there is another mom, another woman who's gone through it and is more than happy to hold space for you and to listen. So please reach out. Don't go through this alone. Share with your sisters, with your sisterhood, with the other mothers, with your motherhood. Like let's really embrace this part because this is a limited experience. Do you remember when you actually gave birth? And
there was this flow. Like it's your hormones that have, of course, right? That again, with the hormones. When that baby initially is born, there is this flow of love, unconditional love. Like you have never felt before. And you never, never feel again. And even when you have a second child, it's the same, but it's, it's a different. But it's like that kind of love is so insanely intense. And that's what it means to love big, to love intensely is like, yeah, you're going to get hurt.
And that can translate to other relationships too. Like to be in a relationship. There's a chance that you're going to get hurt, of course, but that's part of the package. But it just takes me back to when these kids were first born like that. Intense, overwhelming, unconditional love that I felt was so amazing, so amazing. And it reminds me of this, like how big these feelings are. And I got to say, just talking to you about it has helped me to get back into focusing on me again.
No, I'm, I'm just kidding. But I know for me, I'm going to focus on moving forward and getting back to creating the best version of me, post kids that live at home that I take care of all the time. And I'm excited for that. But for now, I'm going to be in this moment. I'm going to really see the moment. I'm going to be present with the moment. I can do hard things. We can all do hard things. And this too shall pass. But this is a real thing and I want you to just know that
it's okay. And you're doing a great job. And it gets easier. And one day, your kids are going to realize how hard it is when they have kids of their own. And when that happens, they are going to come to us. And we're going to hold space for them, just like we did for ourselves. Because that's what we do. We're super powerful, amazing women who can do anything. Thank you for listening, my friends. Thank you for holding me in this safe space, in this amazing community, and sending me
all your love. I can feel how generous your sharing is, the space you've created for me to allow me to share, and that you're feeling me on this. And you're sending me nothing but love. And you're and you're holding space for me and lifting me up in your hearts. So thank you for being here for me. And I want you to know how much I love and appreciate every single one of you that listens to this
podcast. Thank you for listening. Always love yourself first, especially during times like this, and have an amazing day.