¶ Welcome and The Plant Story
Welcome to the Mastering Midlife podcast where we talk about all the crazy fun things that happen when you are a midlife mama. I'm your host, Heather London. Let's dig in. hola guapas okay welcome back and today i want to tell you a little story about a plant yes a plant so don't roll your eyes this one has a lesson baked right into its leaves and it's not a boring one actually it's pretty juicy so stay with me on this one Every year, like clockwork, my mom gives me a plant. Now.
I think this was always her way of hoping, like, you know, like my dad always hoped that I would become a professional golfer. And my mom would, oh, every year, every spring, she would give me a plant. with the hopes like she would hand it to me and she would just have this like glow in her eyes and a smile on her face and be like this is the plant that you're not gonna kill I could just see her thinking that and every year I would take the plant with a smile on my face and be like
Thank you so much with just dread in my heart because I knew it was not going to last. I knew the only thing that was guaranteed was that I was going to kill this plant. It was just a matter of how quickly was I going to kill this plant?
but as you know i've been obsessed with gardening lately and so i felt as the years go by i'm getting better and better at gardening and so though I usually pick plants that are super easy to take care of, which guarantees my success, so then I feel like a rock star planter, gardener, but...
this one here because my mom got it for me I had no control over whether it was like super easy before I buy a plant I look it up I asked chat GPT is this a plant that I can keep alive and if chat GPT says yes then I get it so When my mom gave me this plant, I was like, I had mixed emotions. I was like, oh my gosh, it's so beautiful. And at the same time, I was like, oh, I'm probably, actually I had a little bit of hope. I thought, okay, I'm getting better.
Maybe I won't kill this plant. So this year she brings me a...
¶ The Purple Plant's Death Spiral
Stunning purple number. I mean, it was dramatic in the best way. Like, it was the prince of plants. Like just the purplest purple. It was big energy. You know, I was actually kind of excited about this one. And so I potted it. I gave it a cute spot outside where I could see it from all my windows so I could keep my eye on it. I was feeling very smug.
and very adult and like rock star gardener i'm like i got this this year i'm gonna totally grow this purple rock star plant and then it promptly died like wilted shriveled it did a death spiral right in front of my eyes and I swear it gave me like the side eye on the way out oh
within days it went from like garden center goddess to just like wilted disappointment it was horrible and normally I would just toss it because I just don't have the patience and it's just a reminder of how horrible of a gardener I am but this time I didn't
I would normally be like, okay, you're out of here. Like, I don't have time for this. You're making me look bad. And not everything's meant to survive in this house, especially if it's green and it depends on me. So it's just a no. So it's really like...
¶ Pausing and Finding Hope
I wasn't losing because I usually expect to kill the plants. But this time, this time I paused. There was something about it that caught my attention. Or maybe I have just changed. I don't know, but something made me pause. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was curiosity. And maybe I just didn't want to.
you know, like admit to my mom that I murdered another one of her gifts. Usually I, I hope that she forgets that she'd given it to me and doesn't ask where it is or look for it, but whatever, wherever it was, whatever it was, This time, I leaned in. And guess what? When I got closer, I noticed something. There were still some green parts. a little spark of life left in the middle of the brown goopy mess. It wasn't completely dead. It was just almost dead.
And yes, that's the quote from The Princess Bride. You're welcome, which is a great movie, by the way. And wow, this really gave me hope. So.
¶ Pruning and Revival
I grab my clippers because I do own them. I have, I now have gardening tools and I actually like, I'm going to get a little basket for my gardening tools. I'm all in. I'm committed to this. Just look, if you come to my house, you'll see this woman is obsessed with plants. So I got out my little clippers. And I started just like, because this is a small little delicate plant, and I just tenderly started clipping away the brown crispy bits.
Dead leaves, just pull it out. A little crispy bit over here, gone. Shriveled stems, buh-bye. Random spider web, not on my watch. And a little bit of like, oh, this one here. Oh, this one here has hope. I'll leave it. This one here. No, this one is toast. It's got to go. And I really took my time with it. Because normally I would just be like, this is a hot mess and it's embarrassing. It's just a reminder of my failure. I got to get rid of this as fast as possible, humanly possible.
And once I started to clear away, you know, the sad crunchy bits, gave it a little bit of love, it started to grow back.
I kid you not, like just a few days later, I saw these... tiny little green buds pushing their way up and a little bit a few more of those beautiful little purple flowers just poking their head out going like hey girl thanks for noticing just taking a little nap but we're back and it caught my attention I did a double take like like I said I like to put my flowers where I can see them from
you know, my kitchen anywhere because they just make me happy. And I, instead of it being a reminder of my failure, I was like, wow, I did a double take. I'm like, that is filling up with purple flowers again.
¶ Midlife as a Renaissance
So as I'm standing there marveling at this little comeback story, it hit me. Like this is midlife. Seriously. Midlife is just like this. the purple plant it starts to look a little bit you know crispy or game over a little bit faded a little like what even is this anymore why do i even bother
I start, you know, to question everything. I'm sure we do like as a midlife woman, we all start to question everything. Is this all there is? Do I even like this job anymore? Why does my knee make that sound now? Where did my waist go? Why do I have three chins? Like just all of these things. But underneath all of that, there's still something alive. Something waiting.
something worth pruning for like the little spark of something just waiting to ignite here's the thing most of us don't slow down long enough to even take a close look at that we just kind of like see the dead parts and think that's it it's game over there is no help for this girl We label it, oh, too tired. It's too late, too old, too far gone. But what if it's not? What if it's not? What if?
We just need to clear away the junk. What if there's still something magical growing underneath the mess, like deep down inside? If we look really, really hard.
¶ Clearing Away The Dead Leaves
we can see the potential of what's still there. Midlife is time to get curious. Poke around in the metaphorical garden of our lives and say, hey, What's still alive in here? What's going on? What's been ignored but still breathing? What needs some sunshine, water, and maybe like last judgment? What's the potential here? What...
could this be? What's really going on? Let's be real. There's some emotional spring cleaning to do when you do this. 100%. We've got old dreams like stuffed in the back of the closet with our skinny jeans and vision boards from 20 2019 like just what the heck we've got passions that got buried under kids carpools and that one season where you survived on you know coffee and cheese sticks but guess what
If you're breathing, it's not too late. If there's even a flicker of curiosity, then there's something to grow. That's the beautiful part about this. is what seemed game over is just the start of something new we're letting go of something this is why like oh this is why nature is so beautiful is because nature's beautiful flowers and plants they're not beautiful all year round why because they have a cycle because they need to die and let go of what was
Why? So that they can grow and come back even bigger and more beautiful than it was before. So there's a letting go. And remember, I always say we are nature. stuck or wondering what we should do we always want to look to nature's cues so sometimes when it feels like we're an old wilted crusty flower All that is, is the opportunity to let go of what was, meaning like who you thought you were or who you had to be to raise children or in that time of your life.
But remember, all this stuff is just made up. It's all made up and you can turn on a dime. You can do anything that you want to do. You can change who you want to be in this moment right here if you want. there's two ways that people change one is a tragedy something horrible happens usually it's like health related near-death experience those types of things where you're like damn I better check myself and then you realize like
Life is short. I better giddy up and start doing something. Or you're inspired by greatness. You're inspired and you can see the potential. if we and this way is a lot easier but most people do the hard way most people wait for like like a really horrible experience to be like no it's not too late and i do want to make the most of this And so if neither of those are happening, like let's go with the inspirational one. Let's say.
I can turn, like life is so short and you can turn it into anything you want. You can be anyone you want. A lot of the times, the reason we get stuck is because we're, we are a product of our families that we grew up with and if they we all have limiting beliefs and all of their limiting beliefs were shared with us and we absorb them and took them on as our own even though
that wasn't the case even though maybe once we grew up and had lived a little bit we're like oh i don't believe that or that's not the case here that isn't me anymore and that's somebody else's belief so this is an invitation to really
question all of those things and think now is the time for me to reinvent myself or just find those little bits of myself that are those little passions or dreams or hopes that are buried away because of you know spending the past 20 years raising human beings now let's go explore those
Like, let's see what they're all about. And it's so funny because, you know, I'm now obsessed with plants. But for some reason, when my mom gives me a plant, it's like this is what happens every year. She also gives me. basil and cilantro i don't know why she does and i kill it every single year i tried planting in the ground i put it on the deck it doesn't matter i kill it every single year like not in a good way like killing it it's like i really like r.i.p it
And I try so hard and I don't know why she gives it to me, but every year I just dead. And it's funny because right now I have two plants in my room and this one here, like if you are. not watching on YouTube, but you're listening on the podcast. This one here, I call Mariah after Mariah Carey, because she is a diva. Like this plant needs 24 seven attention. I'm like, what is happening? And I got this plant because
It's got this amazing purple and you can only see it like in the light. This purple is insane. Oh, it's another purple plant. I never thought about that, but this. This purple plant sucked me in with its beautiful colors. It doesn't flower, but this is why I bought this plant. And all it does is wilts. And in the evening...
it will wilt. And in the morning, it will wilt. Like this plant requires all of my attention. I'm like, this is the highest maintenance plant I've ever had in my life. And I'm like, I'm not going to give up on Mariah, that's for sure. And then I have this one next to it, which is yet to be named, which is easier going. So I haven't picked a name for that one because it is less diva for sure. But I am now enjoy the challenge. I'm like this.
This little guy is so beautiful. I got to rise to the challenge and see what it needs. If I just understand what it needs, it just thrives. And so all it is, is a matter of me stopping. and listening and trying something and if it doesn't work I try something else and then I try something else and of course I look it up and go what does this plant need
And this plant needs a lot of attention. It needs a lot of misting and watering and not direct sunlight and just like all the things. I'm like, holy Mariah Carey, like girl, this is not what I signed up for.
¶ Curiosity and The Homework
But I know I can keep this plant alive because it will tell me what it needs. And it's the same for that inner desire and burning.
You just have to listen, be curious. What does it need? And if you're not sure it's okay, just start trying things out. Just ask, be really curious. I really feel like the best humans on earth are the, the, curious humans the more curious you are I think the better human you are the better life you live because you're coming from a place of curiosity and some of the best people that I've met on my travels are the curious people
So here's what I want you to do this week. Actually, it's a homework alert. So don't skip it because I'm watching. I see you. I want you to find one thing in your life that you've written off as dead or you know, one thing you've shoved aside where you're like, this is not going to happen for me, or I can't do that, or like giving up on a dream, you know, one of those things. So it could be a dream that you had, it could be a project that you've always wanted to do.
It could be a part of yourself that you haven't visited in years. And I want you to look at again, like take that thing and look at it again. really look at it this time like really really look at it not with judgment but just sheer curiosity just be curious about it and that's it ask yourself like Is there something here worth saving? Could I prune away all the dead stuff and let something new grow? What would this need to nurture and to blossom into something so amazing?
His midlife isn't a funeral. It's a funeral. freaking renaissance like this is the biggest party and biggest celebration this is the best time of our lives i swear it is and i want everybody to feel this way and to have this experience We're not here to wilt. We're here to like blossom, to re-bloom, to flourish. And maybe, just maybe, that tired old...
plant or passion or purpose or part of you isn't dying. Maybe it's just waiting for you to notice. Maybe it just needs a little bit of sunshine, a little bit of love. Just a breath of fresh air, a little whisper of hope, a little glimmer of what's possible. Maybe it's just taking a little rest before its next big day. bloom just like nature this is how it's intended so now we're coming into a new season a new season of blossoming and amazingness so
This is my challenge for you. Pick a part of yourself that you feel maybe has been put out to pasture and be curious if there's something still there. Or a big dream that you had. Maybe it wasn't a past. It's just something you've always wanted to do. But it's always been in the back. What could it be? Just be curious. And just watch the magic unfold.
So thank you for listening. If this hits you in the feels or the funny bone, take a screenshot and share it with your fellow Midlife Warrior sisters who could use a little reminder that... You're not alone and you're not done yet. You're just getting started. So keep pruning, keep growing. Remember, crispy leaves don't mean that the plant is dead. They just mean it's time for a glow up. So thank you for listening. Always, always, always love yourself first and have an amazing day.