¶ Podcast Introduction and a Cold Day
Welcome to the Mastering Midlife podcast where we talk about all the crazy fun things that happen when you are a midlife mama. I'm your host, Heather London.
guapas okay this is interesting because it's the middle of may and i have on my sweatshirt and my jacket this might not be the best jacket to wear for a podcast because it's a noisy jacket but i don't care i'm just cold and i hate being cold that's why i go away every winter but today it's a cold rainy saturday and i'm just gonna go with it um this podcast is kind of weird
And it's not, I don't think it's really weird what I'm talking about. It's weird that I'm telling you. That's the weird part, I think. Anyway, I'm going to tell you and you can decide. In what way it's weird. Because I know it's weird. I just don't know 100% in what way it's weird. But you get to decide.
¶ Eyebrow Threading Appointment and a Discovery
So the other day, i was going on a trip and i decided to go and get my eyebrows threaded now i always get them threaded because it seems less painful than getting them wax it's funny because you can barely see my eyebrows anyway but you know they can get unruly and so i get them threaded and i go to the same spot every time and they're so quick with the thread you're literally like five ten minutes and then you're out
Usually there's like a little bit of a lineup. It could be three people ahead of you, but they go so fast that it's never a problem. I just stop in and then, you know, get my eyebrows done and go about my day.
but this day when I went in there there was nobody in there and I mean no people waiting there weren't even any other like estheticians there was just one girl there and I've never seen it like this before so I thought damn this is my lucky day and she's like I know you just hit it perfect it's your lucky day so come and grab a seat
And I don't like getting my eyebrows threaded. Who does? But like it's painful but only for a really short period of time that's the good news right and so she grabs a seat and she's so lovely and kind and starts threading doing her thing I don't know how they do it they're so good at it
And then all of a sudden she stops and she says, my darling my darling you know i'm i i'm gonna ask you this and it's just because like i'm a professional so i'm asking you from as a professional and i'm like what the heck what could she possibly have to say like what is going on here
and I don't know if it's because nobody else was in there or what but she just really set it up like I'm only asking you because I'm a professional this is what I do I'm like okay this is great what the heck is it And she said,
¶ The Esthetician's Unexpected Observation
When was the last time you got like a deep facial? And I'm like, oh, I don't really, it's not really something I do. I just try to stay natural. I don't like to use any kind of products on my face because they're full of chemicals and all that and um I can't remember how the con she's like no no I can't remember how the conversation came about like just
getting the face. Oh, I know how, I know what happened. It was really, it was really funny because I had, you know, sometimes when you sleep and then you pull your blankets up and you hit yourself in your chin with your, thumbnail. Well that had happened to me. So I had this huge gouge on the middle of my chin.
And it looked like it was red, so it looked like a pimple or something that I had picked out or whatever. And I said, oh, no, like, I don't do facials and stuff like that because I just want to try to be as natural as possible, no chemicals.
And she's like, no, no, you know, I'd like to deep clean your pores. And I'm like, oh, this is a scratch, actually, in the middle of the night. I woke myself up by... hitting my gouging myself with my thumbnail and i've done this a couple of times and it just so happened that it was like a really red mark and she goes no dear like this and she pointed to
where my eyebrow was on the side and she goes this here is a is a large black head and I'm like what what are you talking about and she goes right here on the side and she pointed it out to me I'm like oh no no that's a mole it's been there for a while and she goes she looks she puts her glasses back on and she looks at it and she looks at me and she goes no dear that is a very large black head and i'm like
¶ Realizing the Blackhead's True Nature
No, it's a mole. She goes, no, I know what I'm talking about. It's really a blackhead. I'm like, that can't be right because it's been there forever. Like, I've always had it. And then I started thinking about... wait a minute I had this memory of it wasn't always there and I had a memory of like oh there's a bump there It'll go away. Oh, maybe it's a mole. And then I just kind of like my brain categorized it as a mole.
And then she started to explain how your skin works and pores and blackheads. And I'm like, what the heck like this must be serious because it was always a bump there and i just ignored it like when it first came up i'm like this is something and then it would just never went away so I just went with it and then never questioned it. In my consciousness, it was never something other than just a mole or a bump.
And so I found it so funny for her to say, no, it's a very large black. And I'm like, damn, are you serious? And the best part was because of where it was, I couldn't see it because it's kind of like. Just on my eyebrow, but it's such a way that it's hidden behind my glasses and It's so funny because she's like, oh, you should just come in and you should just do a deep facial and we can take care of it and the whole bit.
and i'm like yeah okay you know sounds great i'm like what the heck is even going on how could i not know that this was happening And so when I got home, I was trying to look at it and it was in such a weird spot that I couldn't actually see it for what it was. I could not see it for what it was because of the angle, because of where it was, because of where my glasses are. In order to see it, I need to have my glasses on and the top of the glass just perfectly was hiding it.
so i couldn't actually see it but when i got out all my mirrors i was like whoa it is a huge blackhead And so...
¶ Extraction and the Weirdness of Sharing
you know there's two types of people in this world there's pickers and poppers and then there's the purists who don't do that i just happen to be a picker i just pick stuff and so of course i picked it and it was very satisfying because it was a huge black like it was an operation like a full-on operation and by the time i got it out i was like
Wow, that is a lot of gunk stuck in there. And I didn't think it was possible for like a blackhead to get that big. So anyway, that is kind of a crazy story. Like I had to do a full on operation on this thing. And the reason it's a weird story is because it's weird to be talking about, you know. Blackheads, it's not something I'm not an expert in skincare and you know, I'm really a minimalist. I try to just use all natural products.
and do what Mother Nature would want us to do or the way our skin is naturally designed to be treated or cleaned, all that kind of stuff.
But sometimes you just gotta, you know, you just gotta take it to another level. And it really got me thinking because this has been on my face for a very long time like I don't even know how long I'm thinking it could be a year I'm not sure that's how much a part of me it became because as soon as it wasn't new anymore and I and I was used to it it was just oh that that bump on my eyebrow that's all it was
¶ Midlife Reflections and Awareness Needed
And I feel like life is like that, especially midlife. It's like that. It's like we go along and we're just in it.
and we become this person who does all these things for all these people and that's just what we do and it just becomes the norm and then when midlife comes along and we don't have to do all these things anymore we don't know what to do because that is just our new norm it's so crazy it just sneaks up on you and you're not sure what it is and then you just call it something like that's menopause and then you forget about it like oh that's just
that's just how it is that's just the way it's supposed to be and then you allow it and make it normal when it doesn't have to be like it doesn't have to be this way it doesn't have this doesn't have to be your new normal feeling like You're lost or you don't know where to put your expertise and your energy and your love and how you can make a difference in the world, all of these things. It just becomes like...
that thing and you just brush it aside and forget about and go on doing the same things you were doing before and it just festers and grows. That's all it does. You're staying status quo. You're ignoring your inner passions and your desires. You're ignoring your calls for more. And sometimes, this is why it really reminds me of midlife and what I do as a coach.
is because sometimes you need someone else to point it out like that lovely woman if she had not have said that i never even would have known it was there like just never in a million years i just would have gone about my day and it probably would have been there forever like
It would just be there like maybe it reached its max capacity and it would just be there forever So I needed somebody else who could see it for what it was and then to point it out to me and really convince me about it like a professional to help me with it
¶ The Importance of Community in Midlife
And that's why I feel like in midlife we need someone or something. We need a group. We need a coach. We need you know, peers, we need our online midlife menopause mamas showing up. Because if we don't have other people pointing out to us going, look, girl, this is what you're creating for yourself only because this is what you've always done. But there's so much more out there. And when you can...
have somebody show you what it is so that you can pop it in whatever way you need to. It could be you popping it. It could be that professional popping it. It doesn't matter. But it's having the awareness about it that is critical. The awareness that Hey, everything has changed now in my life. Every single thing. And I want to create something new, but I don't even know how to get rid of the old before I heal and start with the new.
And that's what midlife is, is another journey about discovering who you are and what lights you up like for me I find because I'm just so curious and I'm and I'm a free spirit I'm here for all of it I want to discover all of it. And the biggest thing I feel that would help us the best is communities being communities of like-minded women who are going through menopause so they're you're like you're not alone I too had a blackhead that I didn't know about and somebody else helped me
The more we talk about it, the more we can see that this is a part of life. This is how it goes, but it doesn't have to be hard or bad. um really like arduous it can be very very it's different for everybody and some people really go through it they really do they have all the things because there's so many variations right And you need to find a community that understands all of that and has lots of support and guidance and practical experience and tips.
and just really good listening skills so that you can feel that there's nothing wrong with you, that you're in the right spot, that this is a natural phase of your life, and that all women go through it in some way, shape, or form. And that's why I found this whole experience that I had so fascinating because I'm like, damn, that blackhead is just like midlife. You don't know it's there. You don't know that you're struggling to find your purpose.
¶ Embracing a New Beginning and Longevity
Because you just keep going about your day trying to do the same things for me I take it as like a whole new beginning like just anything that I want I'm starting from scratch I can be I can do I can have I can create anything that I want And I have never loved life as much as I do in this phase of my life because I am going for it.
Everything that really lights me up. I'm doing more of it. I'm making those my priorities and I'm creating a business that I can that supports that life from not just financially but from a perspective of time because time is all we have and for me I'll always say yes and make a priority to the things that really light me up and make me feel good that's always my priority now because I don't have time for anything that isn't that and then my business can support me.
Because I can fit it in around all of that like life is just so full and amazing and delicious And I want to make sure that you're not walking around with the same blackhead that you can't see. I want you to check yourself, like really. Be curious in the kindest way possible. Be curious and ask yourself the best questions possible because the quality of life that we live is dictated by the quality of questions we ask ourselves. and by the people we hang out with.
So I am always elevating the people I hang out with. I love to hang out with people who are where I want to go. Like people that are next level. People that have already done what I want to do. Because when you're hanging out with those type of people, that's the energy that you're vibing at. And that's how you're going to raise your vibration and your energy. And you're going to be showing up like a boss as well. So for me, it's...
You know, doing all of the things, taking care of my body has become a priority from a perspective, like it's changed. When I was younger, it was like, it was all about looks, right? We want to be... in shape healthy you don't want to have extra weight like I don't want to say skinny because I've always wanted to be strong never skinny but always strong
And now for me, when I'm working out, because I hate working out, I really do. And even though I was a personal trainer for 100,000 years, I'm not kidding, it was 100,000 years, I still hate working out. I'd rather do a boot camp than lift weights. But guess what? In midlife, you need to build muscle. Not for how you look but for longevity. If you're living to 80 or 90 years old, what quality of life are you going to have during those years if you're sitting in a hospital bed or a wheelchair?
No thank you. Hard pass. But if you're 80 years old and you're still playing tennis or traveling the world or gardening or meeting up with your girlfriends for tea dates and all that kind of stuff, then... Heck yes, I'm in. And how do I get there? So now I'm looking for that quality of longevity.
which is I'm building my muscle so that my body can stay strong to do all of these things. I'm building my bones so that my body can stay strong because the number one thing that gets us as we get older, ladies, is some kind of injury or break like if you fall and break something that's where it all goes downhill so you want to be agile and you want to be independent and you want to be mobile
studies have shown that the women who live the longest and the healthiest not this the longest but the healthiest as well are the ones who have super strong leg muscles. Why? Because they're mobile and they can go and do things with their friends or go to activities and be a part of the community because they're mobile.
That is so critical. It's so important. So for me now, when I work out, Even though I don't want to, I get up and I do my workout thinking about my future self and hoping that one day when I'm...
75 i just go thank you past self thank you girlfriend for putting in the reps because now i can still go and do all of these things so now my health and quality of life that's why I do what I do I mean I've always eaten clean and now I have changed uh the way i eat also for longevity that's the key right we want to be strong i've always wanted to be strong my
The reason I do all the things that I do always was from a point of being strong. And I don't mean having huge muscles. I just mean being able to do whatever I want. this body really supporting me and all that fun adventures that I want to do. And so now it's the same thing but just for a different reason. And I kind of went off on a tangent there because I feel like this is all part of it.
If we're stuck, we're in midlife and we just don't know what to do. So we stay status quo. That's like not. Even knowing that there's a big blackhead on your forehead, right? We want to know. And the best way to do it is hang out with the people that are doing it. I've created this community, Mastering Midlife Membership.
to help all of the women who are going through it be together and a lot of people that come in start out as weight loss and i'm telling you it's not about weight loss it's about strength it's about longevity it's about functionality it's about community it's about really having your own back as you age so that you can live a healthy long life and so this is your personal invitation
to ask me about the group this group is so affordable it's 47 a month and the reason i've made it affordable is because i feel like what the world needs now is more community especially midlife moms who are going through this huge shift not just Physically.
but also mentally emotionally hormonally all of it like there's so much going on right now that the one thing that you need for sure a thousand percent a like-minded community so they can say girl you've got a blackhead or girl you've got a hair you know what i mean if you know you know the hairs that just pop out of nowhere you need your girls you need your sisters to tell you about this and that's just a metaphor for life
And that's why I wanted to do this podcast about it because that's why it's so weird that I'm talking about this. But as soon as this happened to me, I'm like, this is just the best metaphor for midlife ever. like you just
Don't know what you can't see and then as soon as somebody points it out to you need somebody to point it out to you and to help you with that Right, but you can't change something that you're not even aware of us. Oh aware of the biggest Most important thing for any kind of change is awareness And so this is my invitation for you to get that awareness any, any means possible, by any means possible. Because as soon as you have that awareness, the sky's the limit because ladies,
Let me just leave you with this and I mean this from the bottom of my heart and I'm so passionate about this. All of this is just made up. There are no rules. So you just... get that dream get that big dream in your head and then go for it and if I can help in any way I'm here I got you just reach out to me and let me know because
This is our time when we do the big crazy things and we go out on top on our terms. We create a life that we absolutely love because like I said before, of this crap it's just all made up so there are no rules so what are you gonna do with this one little slice of magic that you have what amazingness are you gonna create for yourself today Thank you for listening. Always, always, always love yourself first and have an amazing day.