Talking points: self-worth, mindset This is a wildly simple fact, but so easy to miss. Self-esteem is built along the way, not something you find at the end of the work. Listen in. (00:00:00) - Intro and real reason your self-esteem takes a hit (00:03:14) - The secret hope (00:07:16) - It’s that simple, and that hard *** Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: Ho...
Jul 18, 2024•11 min
Talking points: stuckness, energy, trauma Back in May, this anonymous guest came to me trying to solve what’s blocking him from making important decisions and taking action. We uncovered a traumatic event that started this, but that’s just the start of the process. Here are the next steps in understanding and healing this man’s trauma and helping him move forward. Strongly encourage you to check out part 1 here: https://link.chtbl.com/VaiRj0Oy (00:00:00) - Intro and catchup: the feeling of stuck...
Jul 15, 2024•40 min•Ep. 500
Talking points: routines, mindset I’m serious when I say this changed my life—and that’s coming from someone that hated mornings in general. It took a long time to turn into a habit, but it was absolutely worth it. Listen in. (00:00:00) - Intro and first step: actually get out of bed. Early. Here’s how to make it easier (00:05:57) - Drink a LOT of water right when you get up, and get the double S: stretch and sunlight (00:08:38) - Breathwork, and then 1 of 2 different workouts (00:11:20) - Face ...
Jul 11, 2024•17 min
Talking points: PTSD, trauma, intimacy, relationships It's hard sometimes to know where to begin when it comes to traumatic experiences. Even harder when they're PTSD-level, or secretly impact your relationships/intimacy/work life. Which is exactly why I'm grateful folks like Dr. Frank, who live at the intersection of cutting-edge research, lived experience, and calm strength. We dive right into WHY these things happen and how they're stored in the body and mind, offering practical advice throug...
Jul 08, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 499
Talking points: monogamy, relationships, culture Well, can they? This started with me wondering why certain men who are notorious for sleeping around are suddenly hopping on the monogamy train, and ended with me hitting the record button and getting curious. And honestly, this is way more complicated than a binary "men must/can or must not/can't be faithful partners". Listen in and let me know your thoughts. (00:00:00) - Intro and why I’m diving into this (00:05:41) - Where does the idea that me...
Jul 04, 2024•22 min
Talking points: sex, technique, communication, relationships From the foundational ideas to simple practices you can start literally right now, this episode has it all. Deeply appreciate the wildly intelligent insight and practical advice here, courtesy of intimacy and relationship coach Caitlin V Neal. She says the V stands for Victorious; listen to this and I'm pretty sure you'll be feeling victorious yourself. (00:00:00) - Intro, foundational pieces to a great sex life, and how to start those...
Jul 01, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 498
Talking points: mental health, mindset, diet, Whether you're just starting out with "the work" or you've snapped up a thousand books and podcasts, it pays to go back to the high-level now again again. This is a bird's-eye view of my framework on mental health, plus straightforward tactics that have been proven time and again by science, history, and my own personal experience. Dig in. (00:00:00) - Intro, and defining “mental health” (00:05:03) - My basic framework for what produces suffering (00...
Jun 27, 2024•28 min
Talking points: neurology, biology, trauma, mindset This was one of the most informative episodes I've ever recorded. As expected of Mastin Kipp, an old friend and incredible coach. We covered everything nervous system—and how there may be what you might call a "unified theory of trauma". Wildly grateful for this one! Note: we had some audio trouble for the first bit, but it cleans up after minute 12! (00:00:00) - Intro, and the fragmentation problem in therapy and coaching (00:08:47) - Mastin’s...
Jun 24, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 497
Talking points: fatherhood, mindset, perfectionism To many of you, I'm still pretty new to the dad game, but it's honestly boggled my mind how much being one has changed my life and perspective on things. These are just a few of the things I've learned—or you could say my son has taught me. 00:00:00) - Intro, and number one: masculinity is modeled (00:07:51) - “I would die for my kids, but I won’t live my life for them” (00:10:21) - Your anger as a man is necessary. Your aggression is not. (00:1...
Jun 20, 2024•19 min
Talking points: transitioning, parents, resistance Sometimes in life, we feel stuck, and that can happen even after you've done "the work" and developed a deeper understanding of how your past shaped your present. My anon guest this week (like many of us) has trouble feeling feelings. Together, we dig a little into where that comes from and why. (00:00:00) - Intro and what it was like growing up (00:09:23) - “It’s hard for me to feel the hurt” (00:14:21) - What transitioning was like, and how we...
Jun 17, 2024•36 min•Ep. 496
Talking points: truth, social media, relationships, men, culture Phew! Mark and I covered about a million things this episode, but that's what happens when you've been friends for over a decade. There's an overarching theme though: getting caught up in narratives, and how that actually fractures our ability to stay relational and kind to people. Dig in for this very wide-ranging conversation. Editor's note: while Adderall (dextroamphetamine) has some molecular similarity with methamphetamine, th...
Jun 14, 2024•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 494
Talking points: mindset, social media, sex Out of everything I've done, this is one of the simplest and most effective. To be clear, it's not about going abstinence-only or becoming a prude. It's about freeing mental bandwidth and take, taking ownership of my desires, and creating direction in my life. Dig in. (00:00:00) - Intro, and why this isn’t about being a prude (00:02:14) - The DBC: Digital Brain Cleanse. Step one, content (00:06:17) - Step two: contacts (00:08:06) - Last step: consciousn...
Jun 13, 2024•12 min
Talking points: trauma This was an honor. The word trauma gets thrown around a lot these days, so it's important to get back to basics and really sink into what's going on and why. After all, this is humanity we're talking about, and we're nothing if not complex. Peter is a legend in therapy circles for his groundbreaking work in somatic education and trauma work, so we dug into many of the different (and unusual) things something like trauma brings to the table. Both Peter and I encourage you t...
Jun 10, 2024•54 min•Ep. 495
Talking points: mindset, relationships, sex, culture Mildly spicy title, serious thoughts within. All joking aside, there are a number of things that most of us men do that undercut or diminish our sense of inner leadership, authority, and trust. These are the top 10 that I've seen in my work and in myself. (00:00:00) - Intro (00:02:28) - Stop making excuses for not working out regularly, and stop giving women free attention on social media (00:09:46) - Stop comparing yourself to other men (00:1...
Jun 06, 2024•34 min
Talking points: relationships, sex I've worked with a LOT of men and a TON of couples in relationships, situation-ships, and what have you. When it comes to what YOU as a man can do to craft a thriving partnership, there are 3 sort of "rules" that have come up again and again. They're also what changed the game for me and led to the wildly wonderful marriage I have now. Listen in. (00:00:00) - Intro and rule #1: stop worshipping sex (00:05:24) - Develop the self-esteem and willingness to walk aw...
May 30, 2024•12 min
Talking point: relationships, communication, boundaries I am so honored to be talking to Nedra this week, whose work and words have helped untold numbers of people. Her work on boundaries balances firmness with kindness in a way that I find inspiring. If you're wondering how to be more assertive and have deeper communication in all your relationships, this is gonna be your episode. (00:00:00) - Intro and how closeness is measured by depth (00:09:39) - Emotional followthrough is critical (00:14:4...
May 27, 2024•56 min•Ep. 493
Talking points: social media, masculinity, culture, the manosphere You know the type. The conflict-focused, disrespectful bastions of non-matured masculinity. All loudly promising—if only you follow their framework—the secret to making millions and having your own harem. I get a lot of asks to weigh on this. Specifically, what makes these guys so popular. Here are my thoughts. (00:00:00) - Intro and what I grew up with (00:03:39) - The feeling of virility and reckless certainty is understandable...
May 23, 2024•20 min
Talking points: relationships, sex Thrilled to have Dr. Laurie return! This time, we go deep on sexual attachment. How it shows up, how it's a little different than the attachment styles you might know of, and what might be blocking it in your relationship. There is TONS of good info and insight here, team, so listen closely. (00:00:00) - What is the “sexual attachment cycle”? (00:05:59) - Where does the push-pull dynamic start, and how cues to sex slow down in some relationships (00:14:37) - Wh...
May 20, 2024•57 min•Ep. 492
Talking points: anxiety, relationships You asked, I answer! The latest Man's Guide, specifically for folks dating someone with anxious attachment or just general anxiousness. I've had a ton of couples come to be asking how to tackle this, so here are the important things to ask yourself, and six points you can work on right away. (00:00:00) - Intro and one of the most important elements to shifting this dynamic (00:03:38) - What role in the dynamic are you playing? It can be hard to admit! (00:0...
May 16, 2024•30 min
Talking points: masculinity, culture, relationships What is it men are actually looking for? We know how media tends to define "masculinity", but what is it men are wanting to define? I sat down with MELD founder and fellow coach Owen Marcus to dig into some of this, because we've both found that what men really want and what mainstream narratives say they want are often two different things. Dig in, team. (00:00:00) - Why do you think “masculinity” gets so much attention in our culture? (00:05:...
May 13, 2024•50 min•Ep. 491
Talking points: business, mindset I've been asked this for a long time now, and finally decided to press the button. I don't work in this industry to show off lambos, cohibas, and designer suits. It's to help other men be what they know they're capable of being. So if you're someone who's teaching, coaching, or making something for men, listen in, because here's what I've learned. (00:00:00) - Intro, why I’m making this, and the problems to solve when working with men (00:10:25) - What I’ve disc...
May 09, 2024•43 min
Talking points: purpose, archetypes, trauma, perfectionism, abandonment This week, a shadow work session with an anonymous guest. If you've ever wondered what this kind of work is like, now's your chance to check it out. My guest today has already done some great work and has found drive and purpose, but something has kept him from taking action. As we work to find out what's going on, we learn about past events that laid a foundation of resistance. Note: there's some heavy stuff in here. You've...
May 06, 2024•39 min•Ep. 490
Talking points: mindset, the shadow I've been fascinated by the power of a good question for as long as I can remember. These are five simple (but not easy) ones that have radically altered my life for the better. I still use them today when I'm feeling stuck or unsure in my health, business, and relationships. Listen in! (00:00:00) - Intro and the importance of good questions (00:04:00) - Your mind has a LOT of unconscious content, and it’s actually useful (00:06:43) - The benefit of framing qu...
May 02, 2024•22 min
Talking points: relationships, authenticity, mindset How do you truly live life for yourself while navigating a relationship? What does it take to navigate what both of you want without creating resentment? How do you break free from what you're "supposed" to be—but remain authentic? These are all questions Lisa Bilyeu has had to answer in order to create an incredible life, and she's answered them powerfully. A privilege to sit down with her and dig into the intensity that can be modern relatio...
Apr 29, 2024•51 min•Ep. 489
Talking points: psychology, shame, mindset Trying so hard not to reference the bell ringing lady in Game of Thrones right now. Seriously though, a lot of us let shame run our lives. There are legitimate reasons why, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Listen in for how it starts, why it's so hard to clear, and ten (yes, ten!) thing you can do to break free. (00:00:00) - Intro and how to better define shame (00:03:30) - Why shame is so hard to get rid of: it’s natural, and its has a somatic com...
Apr 25, 2024•45 min
Talking points: masculinity, culture, mindset We've had a lot of new listeners recently, and this interview deserves a ton of attention. Jason's words and work are powerful examples of how important men's work can be. This is a re-release of one of my favorite interviews, one of the most impactful stories, and worth every minute. Dig in for thoughts on comprehensive masculinity, the dangers of "grindset", and so much more. (00:00:00) - Intro and Jason’s defining moment (00:07:45) - The video tha...
Apr 23, 2024•54 min•Ep. 488
Talking points: attachment, relationships Got a LOT of requests for this one! Relationships between anxious attachment and avoidant attachment folks are actually quite common. They can also be extremely tough. Listen in for what they're like, why the patterns are hard to break, and how to move towards a secure, grounded partnership. (00:00:00) - Intro, what characterizes the anxious-avoidant dance, and why there’s no “villain” (00:04:08) - Why that dance is so strong (00:08:28) - Examples of the...
Apr 18, 2024•42 min
Talking points: relationships, culture, sex, security, family I'm lucky to be interviewing experts in all kinds of fields, but it is consistently enjoyable to dig deep into relationships. What keeps the spark, how couples navigate conflict, and how people can with together to create secure and thriving partnership. Trevor's been at it for a long while, and his gentle yet firm approach is something to be respected. If you're with someone, pull this up and have a listen! (00:00:00) - Intro, and wh...
Apr 15, 2024•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 487
Talking points: leadership, accountability, group settings, masculinity If you're thinking about starting a men's group, or just want to know what to look out for, this one's for you. With everything going on in the world, I want to dig a little into creating your own men’s group—or what to look out for if you’re thinking of joining one. Because the truth is there are legions of men who would benefit from belonging to something focused on the mutual benefit of everyone involved. Seriously. (00:0...
Apr 11, 2024•35 min
Talking points: culture, parenting, psychology, lying Parenting has never been easy, but our modern culture adds a few extra layers of challenge and questions. Fortunately (and sometimes unfortunately, as you might have found out), there's a mountain of info online. This week, I sat down with the brilliant Dr. Aliza Pressman to dig into what works, what doesn't, what parents are facing these days, and how to sift through it all. Lots of great info here for anyone who's got kids or who's thinking...
Apr 08, 2024•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 486
