Talking points: addiction, culture, history, enlightenment, Zen, purpose, non-duality The ManTalks Podcast has grown exponentially over the last couple years, so for all you newcomers, I like to release a sort of cross-section or "best of" episode to showcase what the podcast is all about—after all, I have talked to some brilliant and varied experts over the years! This time, the themes are the widest ever: addiction and enlightenment. I chose this to demonstrate my love of the scientific and th...
Aug 14, 2023•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 452
Talking points: boundaries, independence, relationships, nice guys Yeah, it's a somewhat controversial title. It's also a challenge. Many, many men bend over backwards to prevent a partner from ever feeling disappointed, and when they inevitably do feel disappointed (because that's life sometimes), they spiral. Listen in. (01:15) - Intro and why I'm talking about this (03:05) - Caveats (04:42) - Why this is important (07:09) - I'm not saying don't have wiggle room! Men, join me for an intense, d...
Aug 10, 2023•9 min
Talking points: anxiety, suicide, mental illness, neurology, culture, psychology This was SUCH a thorough and enjoyable interview. Always a pleasure to get the practical yet caring advice from Dr. Kennedy, someone I’ve known for a long time. If you or someone you know has been diagnosed or deals with anxiety, this is THE episode for you. We cover all the ways anxiety, the body, and the mind are connected, where to begin helping yourself (or others) with those anxious feelings, what the therapy a...
Aug 07, 2023•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 451
Talking points: dating, relationships This one is quick and to the point, friends. Is there REALLY a decline in great partners, mates, dating prospects, whatever you want to call them? Or...is the issue more complex than we think? Listen in. (00:00) Introduction and perceived decline of viable mates (02:12) The choice paradox and expanded dating pool (04:34) The consequences of the choice paradox (05:53) Is there still a decline? Other ways the dating world is impacted Men, join me in an intense...
Aug 03, 2023•9 min
Talking points: anxiety, 12-step, addiction, personal growth, energetics, belief, money It’s been over six years, but I finally got my friend David back on the show! We cover a ton of ground here, but the core of this episode is limiting beliefs. This is an excellent episode to dive into if you’re searching for a unique look at what they are and how they’re overcome. (00:00:00) Intro and Dave’s defining moment (00:07:51) Do you believe people need to hit rock bottom in order to grow? (00:12:50) ...
Jul 31, 2023•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 450
A solid chunk of my job is helping men get free from porn addiction. It was also something I struggled with for years. Lately, there's been a slew of questions coming at me surrounding porn usage and addiction, so here are seven reasons why it's so damn hard to quit. If this resonates and you're looking for some free extra resources, DM me on Instagram with the word "QUIT" for a free guide. (00:00:00) Intro and reason #1: dopamine (00:02:51) Reason #2: nervous system conditioning (00:05:00) Reas...
Jul 27, 2023•13 min
Talking points: masculinity, dating, relationships, patriarchy, balance This is a hefty one, folks. The legendary Dr. Glover and acclaimed coach and writer Tony Endelman sat down with me to analyze the shifting roles, needs, expectations, and environments that men find themselves in. This is a great episode to listen to if you'd like a frank but broad-minded lens to look at the male experience with. A lot of what Dr. Glover, Tony, and I talk about are things we've seen again and again in clients...
Jul 24, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 449
Talking points: isolation, masculinity, rationality, validation A woman on Instagram DM'd me a great question a while ago: what do I need to know about men that I might not understand? Well, I came up with five ways to understand the average guy's lived experience. Enjoy! (00:55) - Imagine having few or no close friends (03:27) - Imagine overindexing rationality and logic (05:37) - Link your sense of self-worth to productivity (07:36) - Imagine getting 1/10th the validation you normally do (11:5...
Jul 20, 2023•17 min
Talking points: motivation, resiliency, transformation, Mt Kilimanjaro, Kona marathon, family secrets, doubt, shame I'm proud to have known Bonner for some time now, thanks to him being a member of the Alliance, my private men's group. But the reason I wanted him on the show is to share his powerful story and how he's alchemized his life and his troubles into something that serves others. Many others, as you'll find out when you hit play. I strongly recommend checking this one out if you or some...
Jul 17, 2023•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 448
Talking points: maturity, parenthood I get asked this question a lot, so here's an honest, off-the-cuff response. I get why a lot of people choose not to, but I think there are also some powerful reasons in the other direction. Listen in. 02:17 - Bringing children into a troubled world 07:09 - The importance of the human spirit 14:15 - How parenting matures you 20:11 - There are beautiful moments in parenting Pick up my brand-new book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Sel...
Jul 13, 2023•24 min
Talking points: addiction, sex, porn, narcissism, relationships, therapy I've yet to meet a man who hasn't struggled at some point in his life with porn addiction. I was one of them. But is sex addiction any different, and is it more or less complex? I sat down with Dr. Doug Weiss, himself a recovered sex addict (37 years and counting!) to get some insight. This is an ep to listen to if you're looking for more insight on a pervasive problem for many, many people. One that can heavily impact rela...
Jul 10, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 447
It's not easy. It's not simple. It's not comfortable. It's definitely not fun. But it's good for you, and in times like these may be one of the most important skills to cultivate. Pick up my brand-new book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from ...
Jul 06, 2023•13 min
Talking points: anger, relationships, finances, birth, mental health, masculine/feminine dynamics Delighted to have the frank yet eloquent honesty of Christine Hassler on the show. This episode is a top choice to listen to with your partner if you're looking for some relationship advice that combines practicality, spirituality, and much more. [01:02] - Christine's defining moment. [07:59] - Christine on women and anger [12:23] - How Connor and Christine define ego. [15:25] - Women and anger. [28...
Jul 03, 2023•58 min•Ep. 446
There are a LOT of relationship tips and tricks on social media. Lots of traps too, and this one is possibly the worst. Dig in, dear listener. What's your take? Would love to hear your thoughts on Instagram (or check the YouTube video)! Pick up my brand-new book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build b...
Jun 29, 2023•10 min
Talking points: relationships, IMAGO therapy, emotional intelligence, social media, attachment theory, conflict, sex, intimacy, artificial intelligence Deeply grateful to have sat down with Nick last week to chat about all things relationships. Nick is, frankly, one of the best in the biz, and his compassionate yet no-nonsense approach has helped a great many people. If you’re interested AT ALL in levelling up your intimate relationships, this is an episode to listen to. Strongly recommend you l...
Jun 26, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 445
I didn't always have it figured out. There are times even now when I still feel lost. But after relentless work and coaching thousands of men over the years, there are a few ideas that have risen to the top and truly helped me and others overcome that feeling of being rudderless. Pick up my brand-new book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditatio...
Jun 22, 2023•17 min
Talking points: anger, inner critic, passive aggressiveness, shame Haven't done one of these in a while! Every so often I'll have an anonymous guest on the show to give listeners a glimpse into what men's work at ManTalks is actually like. This time, my guest is already familiar with what we do, so I dive right in. If you're the kind of person who has difficulty standing up for themselves, or can't seem to control negative self-talk, this may be a helpful episode to dig into. We talk a lot about...
Jun 19, 2023•42 min•Ep. 444
First off, why is this happening? Second, is there any kind of silver lining? These are the two major questions on my mind this mini-episode, plus why I think there's a growing number of people (men especially) searching for more hands-on, apprenticeship style training. Listen in. Pick up my brand-new book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditati...
Jun 15, 2023•15 min
Talking points: addiction, psychedelics, the trouble with success, death, grief, masculinity, How I Met Your Mother Honestly, there's not a single topic Josh and I didn't cover in this episode. We've been friends for years and wanted to jam together for a long time, and it's clear we had a ton to talk about. Deeply grateful for his insight, perspective, and stories. This is a great episode if you're looking for the perfect combo of candid, vulnerable, and funny. [00:06:02] - Josh's defining mome...
Jun 12, 2023•1 hr 35 min•Ep. 443
Artificial intelligence is already changing the game for a number of industries, and I'm thinking erotica won't be an exception. But how? In what ways? And what's next? Lastly, I'd love to get your thoughts on this. DM me on Instagram to let me know! Pick up my brand-new book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relati...
Jun 08, 2023•13 min
Talking points: trauma, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, trauma culture, therapy I was connected to Katherine Ann through my own mentor, the incredible gestalt therapist Duey Freeman. Her story is intense, powerful, and most importantly, it's shows the importance and possibilities inherent in trauma work and group work. I applaud Katherine Ann for coming forward and sharing her story. [00:01:12] - Katherine Ann's defining moment [00:08:50] - the role Katherine Ann's father played i...
Jun 05, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 442
Having a bit of give and take? Good. Being flexible within reason? Great. But in my opinion, there's one area of your life where you should never, ever compromise. Listen in. Pick up my brand-new book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from aroun...
Jun 02, 2023•11 min
Talking points: porn, sex, psychology, sexual technique, sexual health Note: there were some technical troubles on this one, so forgive the rougher audio! I polled my followers on Instagram for a lot of the questions Stirling and I covered this episode, so expect a great combo of thoughtful "why" answers and actionable advice on everything sex, arousal, attraction, and more. [00:01:08] - Stirling's defining moment [00:05:23] - How it shifted Stirling's perspective [00:12:57] - How DID you end up...
May 29, 2023•1 hr 33 min•Ep. 441
They're simple, but they consistently bear fruit. In this episode, three straightforward ways to be cultivate higher status—that do NOT involve buying a Bugatti Bolide—that you could start on the second you finish this podcast. Pick up my brand-new book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhoo...
May 25, 2023•15 min
Talking points: AI, gender wars, masculinity, culture, relationships, dating, archetypes, myth All I can tell you is: this is a big one! Traver and I did an episode exchange for this one, and we always (I mean always) have great, wide-ranging conversations. It’s one of the bes gifts that comes from having old friends. This is the episode to listen to if you want to hear directly from two men’s coaches who have hands on experience with what men are undergoing these days, and some of the ways we c...
May 22, 2023•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 440
This is something I'm seeing a lot on social media, but also in everyday dialogue and even some clients: labeling someone with a definitive psychological term to shut down dialogue or shame someone else, usually without really knowing what's being talked about. This only speeds up our polarization and harms our ability to connect. How about we...stop doing that? Note: the article in the NYT I mentioned was written by Dr. Tara Isabella Burton, not Bayo Akomolafe. I'll link it below, along with hi...
May 18, 2023•28 min
Talking points: Navy SEALS, grit, BUD/S, hardship, mindset, rehabilitation, paralympics We had some network issues near the end, so Dan is coming back for round 2 soon! I'm grateful for every single interview I get to do, but it's less often that I'm so deeply humbled. Listening to Dan's story, and his thoughtful and considerate approach to such intense trauma, is something that will stick with me for a long, long time. Listen to this episode for a gripping and honest look into the life of an in...
May 15, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 439
Talking points: regret, purpose, direction I was recently reminded of a powerful moment I had with an old mentor. At the time, I was having trouble deciding what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, and I felt directionless and fearful of regret. This is a topic I've covered before, but it's one worth reflecting on. Listen in. This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that's science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% of...
May 11, 2023•13 min
Talking point: centrism, politics, social media, racism, censorship, AI, China, CRT Hot on the heels of last week's chat with Amir Odom, Coleman and I dug into a wide range of topics. We mostly focused on political polarization and where that's coming from, but also how AI might play into further issues, his definition of critical race theory, and much more. Listen to this episode if you've been curious about any of the above talking points, don't know where to start, and want a level-headed dis...
May 08, 2023•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 438
Talking points: porn, stress, hentai, isolation Every year, Pornhub releases a bunch of stats detailing how long people are watching, top search terms, when people are watching, and more. This data is from Dec 2022, so it's a bit old, but I wanted to share some thoughts on what some of these stats might be implying, particularly for men. This is an episode for anyone curious about porn's implications outside of just "sexual entertainment". I go into how it might be affecting (or a be a response ...
May 04, 2023•19 min
