Complexity and relationships go together like coffee and Sunday morning, and after working with hundreds of couples I've noticed some common threads that deserve a better look, like "vulnerability". Do women actually want "vulnerable" men? I think the answer is more complex than anyone wants to admit. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher , or Podchaser . It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community , and help oth...
May 23, 2022•13 min
Simple idea, but not easy to execute. Far too often, we mistake being a control freak for leadership, and/or reactivity with decisiveness. Let's break it down a little and look at how to effectively (and authentically) take the lead in a relationship. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher , or Podchaser . It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community , and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for. A...
May 19, 2022•16 min
Does effectively leading a company have anything in common with leading your own personal development? Of course, but what parts? This is why I brought in Doug McKinley, whose career has allowed him to bridge an individual psychological practice with coaching execs and organization heads. We cover adversity and bouncing back from it, the similarities between self-leadership and leadership within an organization, the ways men find success (or hardship) in both, some of the conflicts between what ...
May 16, 2022•45 min•Ep. 386
Continuing the discussion of nice guys, I wanted to think out loud a little about a question I get a lot: if women want men who are more open, more vulnerable, more reliable, more caring, why is it they still reject men who are those things? It's a complicated subject, and worth thinking about. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher , or Podchaser . It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community , and help others fin...
May 12, 2022•13 min
Forgive me while I geek out for the rest of the week about this fantastic conversation! After reading Angus' book Wonderworks: Literary Invention and the Science of Stories, I knew I had to get him on the show. Story, myth, and narrative are incredible tools for change, and knowing how they affect us down to the neurological level is Angus' specialty. Listen in for... -How narrative shifts not just our perspective, but our entire life. -How literature and apology are two of the oldest, most powe...
May 09, 2022•50 min•Ep. 385
I've worked with men for almost a decade now, am good friends with Dr. Robert Glover, and we've both witnessed the evolution of Nice Guys over the years. I won't lie to you and say breaking free from being the stereotypical "nice guy" is easy—in fact, it's more difficult than most people imagine. But there are a few fundamental things to keep in mind that will make it happen. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher , or Podchaser . It helps us get ...
May 05, 2022•12 min
Sex is proof that things can be simple and complex as the same time. Men are no exception, and it's an unhelpful stereotype male sexuality is the same as a light switch: on and off. Destin and I connected to break this stereotype down, and dive into not just the symptoms of issues men face in the bedroom, but the underlying issues and how to approach them. Listen in with your partner and, uh, not in the car with your kids! Destin Gerek is a globally recognized leading voice in masculinity, sexua...
May 02, 2022•56 min•Ep. 384
I don’t always advocate for things men “should” or “must” do, but when I do… It’s taken years of working on myself, working with mentors, and working with other men to really settle on these three things, but I’ve come to cherish them and what they’ve brought me. I’ve also seen what they’ve brought other men, from friends to coworkers to clients of my own. Long story short: they’ll do you good. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher , or Podchaser...
Apr 28, 2022•11 min
I've had the privilege of interviewing some incredibly wise, compelling, and inspiring people. This is a sampling of not just our most downloaded episodes of this past year, but also some of our more profound moments and profound guests: author Robert Greene , men's work expert Jason Wilson , psychiatrist Dr. Anna Lembke , and mythologist Dr. Martin Shaw . There is also some never-before-released material from spiritual activist Stephen Jenkinson , whose work I deeply admire. Francis Bacon said,...
Apr 25, 2022•55 min•Ep. 383
I've found in my work that cultivating direction is one of the most simple-yet-complex things in a man's life. Without it, most men fall into hopelessness, despair, anger, or worse, a kind of stagnant acceptance that's ultimately harmful to themselves and the world around them. So this week, some straightforward steps in how to first find direction, and then how to cultivate it. As always, let me know what you think! DM me on Instagram @mantalks. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us...
Apr 21, 2022•17 min
I'm in the thick of editing my book, so I wanted to reconnect with one of our most popular episodes ever. This was such a good conversation! Michaela and I covered a TON of ground; everything from grief's role in relationships to anal sex (yup). This was originally recorded around May 2020, so it's also an interesting sort of time capsule. Michaela Boehm teaches and counsels internationally as an expert in intimacy and sexuality. Born and raised in Austria, Michaela combines her background in ps...
Apr 18, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 381
You're damn right it's a clickbait title! And for good reason. I put this list together after years of working with men, observing what most of them struggle with, and where their greatest potential lies. However, it's also influenced by what we're going through socially and politically. Listen in, and if it resonates with you, DM me . Let me know what skill you're working on! Or if you think I missed an important one, tell me that too. Would love to hear your thoughts. Did you enjoy the podcast...
Apr 14, 2022•24 min
I started off not really knowing much about money, nor did I have any real opinion about it. I made it, I spent it, and that was that. But recently I've taken a much deeper interest, and tried to educate myself about economics in general, especially with all the uncertainty brewing around global markets, supply chains, and the rest. Join me and Daniel Kwak this week to get a primer. Daniel Kwak came to the US in 1999 to Chicago, IL. The son of an immigrant pastor, Daniel comes from a background ...
Apr 11, 2022•2 hr 37 min•Ep. 380
I created this challenge a while back, and the traction it got was surprising! So after several requests to revisit it, here we are. The No Challenge is a solid way to develop greater confidence and self-sufficiency, as well as clear out some of those nice guy (or nice girl) behaviors you may be having trouble with. Like most challenges and prompts I offer to listeners, clients, and Alliance members, it's straightforward, but not necessarily simple. Listen in. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, p...
Apr 07, 2022•11 min
In modern masculine culture, there can be a lot of pressure to shut down, suppress, or numb out emotions. But just like everything else we can experience, there's tremendous amounts of information in what we're feeling. This is why I'm such a big advocate for somatic practices—really feeling in your body what's going on—and cultivating emotional intelligence. And it's why I sat with EVRYMAN co-founder Owen Marcus; he's an expert on this subject. For more than twenty-five years, Owen Marcus has w...
Apr 04, 2022•56 min•Ep. 379
I get asked about this a lot, in various ways: how do I deal with rejection? What do I say (and how do I say it) when she says no? I'm worried about getting rejected, what do I do? Rejection can suck, but it doesn't have to shatter your sense of your own value. In fact, it can help you both recognize and build your worth. Listen in this week for how that works, some actions to take, and questions you can ask yourself in the face of rejection. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a r...
Mar 31, 2022•12 min
Honored as always to speak with an old friend of mine, Ben Goresky. As a fellow coach of men, we wanted to take an episode to give each other some thoughts on what we're seeing out there in the world of men's work: how do we better ourselves in the current global situation? How do we find personal fulfillment? We also dig into relationships and discuss different ways to engage in challenging conversations with a partner. Ben's got great great insight, so listen in! Ben Goresky is a counselor, co...
Mar 28, 2022•53 min•Ep. 378
Confidence. We all want more of it, even though we consume loads of content on it. So does it have to be something so hard to achieve consistently? I don't think so. In this episode, I outline five simple building blocks you can use to be more confident overall. Notice I said they were simple, but not necessarily easy! They require practice and commitment. Listen in. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher , or Podchaser . It helps us get into the ...
Mar 25, 2022•13 min
Last week, Zen. This week, a unique perspective on intimacy, relationships, and marriage from Rabbi Manis Friedman. I've been wanting to hear differing ideas from differing traditions on what it means to really cultivate an intimate relationship, and Rabbi Friedman had some interesting things to say! We cover loving someone versus loving things about them, what it really means to marry someone—from a more mystical frame of mind, how a "performance" mindset around sex destroys intimacy, and a lot...
Mar 21, 2022•53 min•Ep. 377
Understatement of the decade: there's a lot going on. I wanted to dig a little into how a man can navigate crisis, and one of the most important components to this: community. The simple reality is this: if you as an individual aren’t meant to process the events in your own community by yourself, there's no possible way you can process everything on earth by yourself. We’re built to thrive in a shared network of understanding so that navigating a crisis doesn't crush YOU, it strengthens US. Did ...
Mar 18, 2022•14 min
You hear it all the time: enlightenment, awakening, expansion, liberation. Yadda yadda yadda. But...what is it really? Is it even possible to describe? This week, I sit with acclaimed Zen teacher and poet Henry Shukman to try and get the actual Zen take on things. We dig into his own spiritual journey, how to meditate in the Zen way, and how chasing after something can sometimes prevent you from ever getting it. Henry Shukman is a mindfulness teacher and the spiritual Director of Mountain Cloud ...
Mar 14, 2022•56 min•Ep. 376
One of the hardest things to do as a man is to keep your heart open. And it is in times like these that it's also the most critical. There is an incalculable amount of grief that needs holding and help right now. Will you answer it's call? Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher , or Podchaser . It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community , and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for. Are you looki...
Mar 11, 2022•11 min
I've waited a long time for this one! Deeply honored to have spoken with Dr. James Hollis, one of the foremost Jungian analysts. Ever. Period. This conversation focused almost entirely on men and their relationship to fear, women, purpose, direction, and what Jung had to say about all of them. An hour isn't nearly enough for such a heavy conversation, so he'll be returning in the near future. If you've ever been curious about the Jungian approach to therapy, have a listen. James Hollis, Ph. D., ...
Mar 08, 2022•1 hr•Ep. 375
Today, a Public Service Announcement. One I wish I'd heard a long time ago. You've got to decide—consciously—who has a say in who you are, what you do, and what you want to be. Listen in. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher , or Podchaser . It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community , and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for. Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your...
Mar 03, 2022•15 min
Forgive the occasional sound blips. Sometimes Zoom behaves badly! Whether you've just dipped your toes into therapy or have been a long-time adherent, have a listen to this. I love Duey's no-nonsense yet compassionate approach. It's rooted in connection and relationship—a result of his extensive training in gestalt therapy. We cover what gestalt therapy is, what men typically struggle with and why, and how we're all just trying to protect ourselves. Duey Freeman, MA, LPC is co-founder of the Ges...
Feb 28, 2022•52 min•Ep. 374
Purpose (especially now) can feel elusive for so many men. And when purpose goes missing, meaning isn't far behind. This week, some thoughts on where to find meaning, how to regain a sense of purpose, and why both are critical components of any man's journey. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher , or Podchaser . It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community , and help others find the self-leadership they’re lookin...
Feb 24, 2022•22 min
This was such a good conversation! Dr. Krug has to be one of the most engaged and informative guys I've had on when it comes to sexual health. We cover the mind's role in healthy sex, balancing what you can and can't control in your sexual health, the surprisingly critical role of uncertainty and anxiety in sex, the physiology of erections and orgasm, how porn addiction works, the list goes on. Dr. Shy Krug is a Clinical Psychologist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist on the Upper West Side of M...
Feb 21, 2022•53 min•Ep. 373
It goes without saying that the more informed you are on the nature of addiction, the easier it is to see and break the patterns that trap you or the people you care about—addiction can be a LOT more subtle and nuanced than you think. So this week, I asked Dr. Carl Erik Fisher to dig into his new book, The Urge: Our History Of Addiction. It's a profoundly empathetic, personal, and intelligent book, and if you like this episode you'll want to check it out. We cover how addiction was perceived by ...
Feb 14, 2022•50 min•Ep. 372
We all crave meaning, purpose, and feeling like we're needed. It's deeply important for anyone's mental health. But for a significant number of men, it simply isn't happening. There are all sorts of reasons for this, and there's no easy answer, but it's something that genuinely worries me. This week, I'm thinking out loud about what's going on for younger men and what they can do to find that purpose and meaning for themselves. Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple ...
Feb 10, 2022•18 min
How do I sum up this conversation? Because we could have talked for days. Dr. Shaw's work is incredibly powerful, so get ready for a very depth-oriented and intense conversation. For example, Dr. Shaw and I cover the real meaning of blessing and the importance of being defeated —not winning. The power of story and myth, comfort versus shelter, and how it all relates to how we're living now. Martin Shaw is widely regarded as one of the most exciting teachers of the mythic imagination. Author of t...
Feb 07, 2022•51 min•Ep. 371
