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Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to Malik's bookshef bringing a world together with books, culture and community.
Hi, my name is Malik, your host of Malik's Bookshelf. The last week's episode was a very emotional episode for me. It's been a roller coaster of a time, full of emotions and overwhelming memories that I have for my mother. Now this episode is quite difficult for me simply because I'm still mourning and I'm still have a million things I have to do for Malak's Books as well as.
The funeral for my mom. So this is a very very emotional time that I'm sharing with my podcast audience, and I just want you to know that no one is invincible. We all have weaknesses. Now I'm looking back and I reflecting on everything that's just been going on since last week, and reflecting on all these things, I
realized that weddings bring people together. It increases your family, It brings joy, it brings laughter, brings happiness, it brings a whole different level of spiritual and energy and togetherness and community. I'm not finding death the same way, and death doesn't really bring people together as it should. It separates people. It divides people instead of bringing people together to celebrate the life of someone. It can also cause
a division amongst people because of things. Now, some of you as listeners can relate to what I'm saying because it brings a lot of anxiety. Now, if you ain't got nothing, you ain't got nothing to worry about. But if you just got a little bit, it creates a storm of confusion. I'm telling you right now, put things in place. Put things in order to minimize this confusion. So that whatever your will is, you need to put a willing testament together and on top of that so
that you won't have to go through probate. Because if you just leave a will, you're gonna end up in probate. So you need to put together a trust so that you don't have to go to probate. And you need to put everything in there, because even if you don't and you miss some things, what happens that those things end up in probate just spit your trust. So let me tell you something. You need to put things in order. That's what I'm trying to talk about, because that's how
you minimize the confusion and who gets what now. My mother was very clear on who she wanted to be her exactly. She had plenty time to put things in order, so she laid out all of these things, including her funeral arrangements. She wrote her own obituary, and she instructed certain people to do certain things. My mom was an organized person and she wanted to make these arrangements easier
on everyone. But that ain't always the case, and things don't always go the way you think them are gonna go, so so put things in order. That's what I'm saying. Listen, family, this is a very very difficult time. I know for me personally, and whoever has someone that passed away, I know it is a very difficult time for you. You know, we all morning together. We might not know each other, but I tell you put things in order because we have to learn from all of the things that happen
to us. Experience is the best teacher, and I know bout experiencing this, I'm making sure I put things in order because you want to minimize confusion and all the different anxiety that takes place during this time because people have expectations and expect certain things and want to know certain things. So I say this, put things in order. Now, I got a bookstore, and I'm gonna make sure our order books that to help guide people to how to put their things in order, books that talk about trust.
You want to avoid that probate. Don't just write a whill up and a will. You know, it's almost like, I mean, will is sufficient in certain cases at least you are telling people who gets what, But nevertheless, things can end up the things can end up in probate as a result. The only way they'll avoid that. If you got assets and property, then you need to have a trust because the will is not sufficient. You gotta transfer your names, you gotta get titles, transfer what I'm saying,
you gotta liquidate assets and so forth. Potentially not always the case. It just depends on the will and what the expectations that are written inside the wheel. But what I'm saying is if you had a will and you requiring the sell of your assets to give money to this person or that person, where you're going to probate because that is not You got to get title and
you got to get a lot of things to go. Now, you got the government all all up in your business, so you want to avoid that, Go spend five hundred dollars now. I'm just I know that it was a time. It was just fire. I don't know. It just spends on problem of your asset. Go get a trust rolled up. That's I think it's very important that you put things in order.
Now.
I'm experiencing a lot of things here that I don't want to go through. But all I'm saying, I'm learning from this and I missed my mom. Everything that I'm surrounded by reminds me of her. But the most important thing that remind me of her, I realize is that when I looked in a mirror, it's me. And then when I hug myself or I kiss myself, I'm kissing my mom because I'm an extension of her. And this helps me a lot now when I think of it in that way. But more than thinking of that, it's
reality because it's true. The essence of her is me. How can I say she died and yet I live. We're going to celebrate her life and not her death, because she lives through me, through my brother, through my sister, through everybody that touched her. So I see her all, I gotta do a look in the mirror. Yeah, she physically no longer is here. She physically has departed. But you and I know that ain't the person. That is
not the person put things in order. That's the remains, but that don't have no life in it, don't have no energy in it, don't have no power in it. You know, we are beings with energy and power. We're more than just flesh. What I'm saying that right there is not the person. The person that we love and know had energy, had power in it, had a spirit in it. That's gone. That's gone, but she's still here because we're here. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It
just transformed. Well i'm here, it's transformed. She gave something to me. I'm here. I'm here, So I just got to get stronger, and I just had to take a moment. You know, this is very emotional time for me, you know, just to even gather my thoughts. It's difficult. I've been driving my car missing turns. You know, I can't remember where I where I'm going, just because this catastrophic event happened. I'm more than the loss, and yet not seeing and yet not seeing her in me and my brother and
my sister. She's here, and she in us and around us. And that's how I gotta process this, so that I can overcome the loss of not seeing the physical being that she was, the beautiful person that she was, the grateful and illuminating and rating and loving and caring and magnificent and extraordinary and just a beautiful human being, a beautiful mother, a loving mother that I'm going to miss
that cannot be replaced in that sense. That's gone. To be able to pick the phone up and have an illuminating conversation, it's gone, to talk about the joy in my life, and for her to experience some of those things and have joy in me talking to her, it's gone. These are some of the things that bring hardship, bring morning. So I say that you know, this is a difficult time, this is a difficult but put things in order, no matter how difficult or whatever storms that you're going through
or what you're dealing with. I'm here to say, put things in order. You know, if you got asset, and then if you got nothing, you got nothing to worry about. But if you got assets, put things in order. Let me tell you something because if you want to minimize confusion and dividing your family, because during a time of morning,
people come together as they should, right they should. It's easy to you know, to bring people together that are outside of your family, but the inside of your family can sometimes be divided because of these things and because of death, unlike weddings with bringing the whole family together and you enjoyed. So if you want to keep the family together, if you want to keep the peace between
the family, put things in order, put things on. Now I'm not saying that I'm actually, you know, going through some of those challenges in that sense. But what I am saying, I have some confusion when it shouldn't be because she put things in order and sad things how she wanted things. But yet there's some confusion, there is some mistrust going on. There is some things what I'm saying, and it's making it more difficult and more hard. But each day it's a new day and we walk each
day towards are better tomorrow. But I'm sharing my personal experience because death ain't an easy thing. It's a very very very difficult time. It's a time that I gotta go through. It's a time I gotta deal with. It's a time that all of us, if you live long enough, is going to experience. But our parents is supposed to go before we go, and sometimes that ain't the case. It's a lot of kids and youth and teens and young adults dying before their parents. And that's a hard
ship and a hard eight on a parent. But there not your order. The parents. It's supposed to pass away before that children. The majority of the time that's the case. So that's that's my that's my you know podcast. I do have a interview that I'm gonna run along with this episode. Young Lady Lisa Harris wrote a book called Wanna Be. I'm gonna just share that also with this episode. But I did a good interview with it. So my interview will talk about the book. I don't need to.
I just wanted to talk about what I'm going through, how I'm dealing with it. But more importantly, I'm here to tell you put things in order. That's the title of this episode. Put things in order, or the order is gonna put things to you, and that's what you don't want, So enjoy. Thank you.
Today was the day or want to be reckoning with the pop culture that shapes me? Written by the new author Aisha Harris.
Well, I'm going to ask you this most important question.
Today about being getting paid to do something that you love to do, because so many people work in a field that they don't enjoy, but they're stuck.
So just tell me my audience.
At Beliefs Bookshelf, how does it feel to be in an industry getting paid to do something you love to do?
It feels great. I feel very lucky. I realize there are a lot of people who do not have this opportunity, and I you know, it feels like work sometimes, but most of the time it doesn't. And that's that's the fun part. That's the great part.
Man.
When did you know you want to be a writer? Uh?
Probably when I was seven.
Yeah.
I love to write stories when I was younger, and then kind of got away from it for a little bit. But then I came back to it and I realized that's what I'm good at and also something that I really really love doing.
So yeah, so many stories are here, I guess right. You know firsthand, you know it's a hard road. It's not always pay well. And it's industry I guess connected, and so it's hard to penetrate and break in. It's not a lot of I guess opportunities or positions. I don't necessarily know the statistics behind that. But why is it hard to make a living.
Right because it's not valued in the same way that other industries are. Like tech, it's easy to get a job that pays a living wage or above a living wage, you know. But media, we're seeing the erosion of all of these companies that are cutting staff, and in part because people are not willing to pay for media in the same way that they're willing to pay to go see an athlete or to you know, pay for an
app or whatever. So it's it's really tough, and I think that it's really important that we save our institutions. And we saved also the smaller, smaller institutions, the smaller local papers, the smaller local local publications. It's I imagine you feel similarly about bookstores, and you know, of course there's the big ones, but then we also have to support the local ones, and I think that's just very crucial.
Independent bookstores matter. We're getting back to your book. We want to be reckoning with the pop culture.
That shaped me.
It just came out.
We hosted you here today at Elik Books.
And I'm so grateful for it.
Thank you.
Welcome, You're welcome, you walked. But I'll just tell my audience at Melik booksh'll bring in a world together with books, coaching, and community. No one could sell your book or tell us about your book better than you.
If you have even the smallest interest in popular cure, if you have that one song from when you were a kid that's just lodging your brain, it just pops up for whatever reason, or you recall particularly life changing moment in a movie theater or listening to an album or watching a TV show. This book is for you. It touches on a lot of pop culture that shaped me, but also the stuff that has shaped a lot of other people. And it's nerdy, it's fun, it's personal, it's political,
it is many many things. And yeah, check it out.
You did get personal in that first chapter I read that, you know that was the first question today. They touched on about you learning something just significant that women should know in terms of you know their things about women.
Yes, you know personal? Yes, yes, well you know what I had someone tell me that they learned about it themselves through me, and she was shocked that she hadn't thought about it either. So clearly not the only one who has had this experience in epiphany. I won't get into the details. You have to read the book, but you know it's it was a little embarrassing, but at the same time, if I could help someone else.
Learn but what you know, what I got, What I got out of out of that when you were opened up and was personal about that experience. How much we learned from television and these shows versus communicating with each other and spending time talking like a mother to a daughter, or father to a daughter, or a friend to a daughter, or a neighbor to a you know.
Look, I will say my mother taught me all the things. It's just that was just the one thing that she that I did not for most things I have I have to talk, yes, yes.
But I think we all have been influenced by pop culture.
You know, I know I have.
You can't help you know, it's dominating out the world.
You know.
In fact, I was just watching something on TV and me and my wife and it was Howard.
It was a kindergarten, a kindergarden.
She was like, you're ready to go to kindergarten, and her mom was walking in the school and she said, mom and kindergarten. You don't have to walk me, and mom was persistent in doing it, and then she said something like you know, pauls and then put her hand up, like you talk to your parents at that age. But it might you know, it might have been a punchline
for a joke. But kids are acting out and doing those things and saying those things to their parents, and these things are written in these scripts because we are influenced what I'm saying, whether we like it or not, Every show influences us. Every video going we play in fluenda, every movie we watch, every radio song.
It has it's effect.
You know, to deny it is to deny all the money that these corporations spend for advertisement because they know you're watching it, so it's effective. But we drink coke, we eat popcorn, we eat snacks, So I mean it's we are influenced, and this is just the way things are. And maybe fifty it'll be a different way. But right now your book is addressing pop culture that shapes you.
But more important society.
So give me your final thoughts about that and where do we go from here?
You know, I think that pop culture, like you said, it's just something that is a part of us, and I just want people to really think about how they consume pop culture and really take it in and not just let it happen to you, but let it, you know, let it shape how you think about things and how you interact with other people. And I also just want to get across the idea that you should treat each other better about how the things we like and the
things we don't like. And that's something that you know, sometimes I've gotten into heated arguments about certain people, certain artists, and certain movies. But as long as it's civil and we are able to respect each other, I think that is the main thing that I hope people take away from the book, and hopefully we can sort of in terms of going from here and just keep being better and being better about who we are and how we consume pop culture.
One more think, because you made me think of some stereotypes, because people assume, just based on a person's voice, that they might be from this.
Culture or race.
So just connect that popcorn stereotype, because you know, a lot of stereotypes are used in pop culture to spread for good or for bad. Yeah, so let's see him.
With that question.
Well, I think stereotypes are there's always a kernel of truth to them. They are they're based off of, you know, something that is real and tangible, but it is you know, they're applied to it unfairly to entire demographics. But I do think that, you know, especially now, I feel I feel hopeful actually that stereotypes, especially when it comes to black representation, have gotten better and more varied and less
relied upon. And I think we're seeing way more nuances and multifacetedness of black culture and especially movies and TV shows. And I think it's you know, as long as we allow black people, especially to keep getting weird and keep getting experimental and be free in their creation of art, I think we're going to be in a good place.
Well said, that was Aesha. For all the fans of Malik's bookshelf bringing the world together with books, culture and community. Thank you Aiesha Harris, and go out and buy the book because it's wherever books are sold. Want to be reckoning with the pop culture that shapes me.
Thanks for listening to Malik's Bookshelf, where topics on the shelf are books, culture, and community. Be sure to subscribe and leave me a review. Check out my Instagram at Malik Books. See you next time.