Grief isn’t linear. Grief doesn't happen in stages. Grief is chaotic. Grief convinces you that it’s all encompassing. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve (aside from the obvious). Be gentle with yourself. I’m not asking you to pretend it doesn't exist, but I am asking you to endure it. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be different, but it will be okay. If you want to feel more connected: The Shared Grief Project - https://sharedgrief.org/ Articles, blogs, community re, resources, etc. ht...
Oct 19, 2024•12 min
I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss , and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary Frances O'Connor. The Shared Grief Project: https://sharedgrief.org/ Mary Frances O'Connor's Site: https://maryfrance...
Oct 18, 2024•11 min
I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss , and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary Frances O'Connor. The Shared Grief Project: https://sharedgrief.org/ Mary Frances O'Connor's Site: https://maryfrance...
Oct 17, 2024•11 min
I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss , and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary Frances O'Connor. The Shared Grief Project: https://sharedgrief.org/ Mary Frances O'Connor's Site: https://maryfrance...
Oct 16, 2024•10 min
In 1998, Psychologist Roy Baumeister conducted a foundational study that showed decision-making depletes cognitive resources, much like physical exertion depletes muscles. Baumeister’s studies found that decision fatigue leads to impulsive choices (gravitating toward immediate rewards or default options) or avoidance of decision-making (procrastination or refusal to choose). For example, judges in a 2011 study were more likely to grant parole early in the day, and less likely as they became ment...
Oct 15, 2024•9 min
Years ago, when I was grieving the loss of a very serious break up, I was explaining to a friend that the grief was really intense not only because I was grieving a loss of this, but I was also grieving the loss of who I was going to be with that person, and I think about this a lot, the anxiety of all of the un lived lives. I’ll never get the unknown of all of the paths I didn’t and couldn’t take. TIPS: Practice radical acceptance : Accept that you can't live every life. For every door you open...
Oct 14, 2024•11 min
Today we revisit an episode from March 2023: what does survival mode look like for you? how can we get out of the patterns that put us into our default mode? we've all experienced stress, but when stress is prolonged - we can forget how to relax. Mindfulness, patience, compassion, and practice can help us escape that constant vigilance and return to a state of calm. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES: https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilities DISASTER R...
Oct 13, 2024•7 min
Today we revisit an episode from March 2023: Every single one of us has experienced some level of trauma. We're only capable of acting and responding at the level we're internally ready for. Practicing mercy + empathy can really help us to be more patient with strangers. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES: https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilities DISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/ ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rj...
Oct 12, 2024•8 min
Life sometimes feels like a constant battle between fighting burnout and fighting tapping out. The middle path between burnout and disassociation isn’t about perfection. It’s about giving yourself permission to rest without checking out, and working without burning out. It’s not an easy balance, but it’s one worth striving for. Some days will be meant for rotting, some days will be meant for grinding - but most days will be about striking a healthy balance between the two. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FO...
Oct 11, 2024•10 min
Feeling like you can’t do everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something . So, when things feel heavy, when the weight of the world feels like it’s sitting on your chest, I want you to take a breath and remember that no act of kindness, no matter how small, is wasted . DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES: https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilities DISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/ ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjca...
Oct 10, 2024•10 min
" In effect we are saying the end is not as important as the means, we are turning hundreds of years of political form and content on its head by putting the means before the ends, by putting context in front of ideology, by rejecting purity and perfection." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdf THE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/ THE RESOURCES F...
Oct 07, 2024•10 min
"What could have happened if we could have spoken directly to the people in that wave, if we could have found common ground, if we could have made our position neither right nor left but truly grassroots? What would have happened if we had given them an alternate version of how local power was being sapped, by whom, and what they might do about it? We need them, we need a broad base, we need a style that speaks to far more people than the left has lately been able to speak to and for." - Rebecca...
Oct 06, 2024•10 min
"Paradise is not the place in which you arrive but the journey toward it. Sometimes I think victories must be temporary or incomplete; what kind of humanity would survive paradise? The United States has tried to approximate paradise in its suburbias, with luxe, calme, volupte, culde-sacs, cable television and two-car garages, and it has produced a soft ennui that shades over into despair and a decay of the soul suggesting that Paradise is already a gulag. Countless desperate teenagers will tell ...
Oct 05, 2024•10 min
"After all, most environmental victories look like nothing happened; the land wasn’t annexed by the army, the mine didn’t open, the road didn’t cut through, the factory didn’t spew effluents that didn’t give children asthma. They are triumphs invisible except through storytelling." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdf THE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasol...
Oct 04, 2024•10 min
"It’s always too soon to go home. Most of the great victories continue to unfold, unfinished in the sense that they are not yet fully realized, but also in the sense that they continue to spread influence." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdf THE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/ THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.e...
Oct 03, 2024•11 min
changing the world is not one with a tidy end goal that we will one day reach. it is an ever changing process that means we will always be working with it. and everything counts. no strategy is too small, as it often surprises us what actually makes change stick. the complexities are undeniable, but the straightforward knowing of what is right vs. what is wrong isn't complicated. we simply need to fight for the rights of all people and the planet, all the time. BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarke...
Oct 02, 2024•11 min
there is power in active hope. despair can even be liberatory if we can learn not to be consumed by it. despair can turn us away from the deprivation that comes from refusing to seek out alternatives. if nothing else, please don't get attached to negative outcomes - even if they feel like the most realistic potential. hope should never been confined to certain limits. BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/...
Oct 01, 2024•11 min
We often mistake unknowability for dread. We sometimes forget that darkness can be a place for rebirth and hope, not just fear and hopelessness. Today, I'm reading from Rebecca Solnit's essay/book "Hope in the Dark". BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdf THE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/ THE RESOURCES FROM GWUniversity: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resou...
Sep 30, 2024•10 min
Today is part four of our "how to take action towards the climate crisis" and we're talking about what type of action needs to be taken. Remember: It's not too late. Every action counts. But don't get overwhelmed with doing everything. Instead, choose something + act. Every little bit helps. THE GUIDEBOOK: https://www.nottoolateclimate.com/_files/ugd/c8ef46_65f7332b00de468aa7091e31a4b2f772.pdf THE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/ THE RESOURCES FROM GWUniversity: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu....
Sep 29, 2024•12 min
Today is part three of our "how to take action towards the climate crisis" and we're talking about what type of action needs to be taken. Remember: It's not too late. Every action counts. But don't get overwhelmed with doing everything. Instead, choose something + act. Every little bit helps. THE GUIDEBOOK: https://www.nottoolateclimate.com/_files/ugd/c8ef46_65f7332b00de468aa7091e31a4b2f772.pdf THE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/ THE RESOURCES FROM GWUniversity: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu...
Sep 28, 2024•11 min
Today is part two of our "how to take action towards the climate crisis" and we're talking about choosing a group. Remember: It's not too late. Every action counts. But don't get overwhelmed with doing everything. Instead, choose something + act. Every little bit helps. THE GUIDEBOOK: https://www.nottoolateclimate.com/_files/ugd/c8ef46_65f7332b00de468aa7091e31a4b2f772.pdf THE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/ THE RESOURCES FROM GWUniversity: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-...
Sep 27, 2024•11 min
Some of us struggle with a lack of intimacy, some of us struggle with severe codependency, but what is the balance? A healthy interdependency is essential to building self-worth within a relationship. RESOURCE: https://www.impossiblepsychservices.com.sg/our-resources/articles/2023/07/19/the-importance-of-interdependence-for-a-healthy-relationship AND: https://www.impossiblepsychservices.com.sg/our-resources/articles/2024/01/19/common-signs-of-validation-seeking-behaviour-in-relationships DONATE:...
Sep 25, 2024•10 min
The need for validation is normal. But, like most things in life, it’s really all about balance. Listen, some degree of attention and validation seeking makes perfect sense to me. From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense that we’d seek out external validation because it helps us to feel more secure in social settings and I dunno if you know this, but humans are inherently social creatures and rejection is deeply uncomfortable while positive reinforcement feels pretty ding-dang incredible....
Sep 24, 2024•11 min
just because you became an adult doesn't mean you have to be serious all the time. here's how you can infuse more silliness in your everyday: intentionality RESOURCES: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/126e9by/i_feel_weighed_down_by_how_serious_life_can_be/ AND https://clementinefraser.wordpress.com/2018/01/29/silly-play-all-day-how-silliness-helps-you-adult/ DONATE: www.pcrf.net Get Involved: Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: w...
Sep 23, 2024•10 min
To be silly in a serious society is a revolutionary act. By embracing a sense of silliness, you can almost create + enter a new reality within the reality you’re currently in. You can create a new world within the current one, simply by embracing the silliness that appears in the mundane. Choosing to be silly is a valid response to trauma as well as the general chaos of the world, and should be interpreted as such RESOURCES ON SILLINESS: https://www.davispoliticalreview.com/article/a-case-for-hu...
Sep 20, 2024•12 min
We’ve discussed the philosophy of absurdism in the past - the concept of embracing meaningless as a freedom, or even the idea of finding or creating meaning on our own when there is no obvious meaning available. But today, instead of focusing on finding meaning in the absurd, I want to focus on finding the absurd in the meaningful. DEFINITIONS: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silliness https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/silliness RESOURCES ON SILLINESS: https://www.da...
Sep 19, 2024•10 min
Today, I'm bringing you a blog post from Nicole Howard, who said this: "Ultimately, this [mindfulness] is a journey that will never end. We are constantly changing, and life around us is forever moving, so there will always be a need for reflection. You might become great at recognizing your feelings and staying present, but it will still be something you should practice to maintain." NICOLE HOWARD'S BLOG POST: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-pillars-of-mindful-awareness-that-transformed-my-life/ ...
Sep 18, 2024•13 min
Making friends as an adult can feel overcomplicated, but I think it's because we've become increasingly self-aware of our weaknesses and not nearly self-aware enough of our strengths. Maybe it's time to practice what we already know: staying present, active listening, and mutual respect - so we can really build some relationships worth of maintenance. DONATE: www.pcrf.net Get Involved: Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodca...
Sep 17, 2024•11 min
Today we're talking about some theories and paradoxes that help remind me that my insecurities are just a natural negative bias that many other people experience, and if we can take active strides towards moving through those insecurities, we can forge and maintain deeper and more fulfilling friendships without the fear of being "unlikable", because (spoiler alert) we're not!!!! BEHIND THE SILK: https://linktr.ee/behindthesilk DONATE: www.pcrf.net Get Involved: Operation Olive Branch: Spreadshee...
Sep 16, 2024•12 min
today we revisit an older episode and discuss prioritizing what makes us feel good. if you're dwelling on all the shit that stresses you out in order to avoid it, you're focusing a LOT of attention on your stress. we focus so much on productivity, but what if we focused on rest, joy, or pleasure? DONATE: www.pcrf.net Get Involved: Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instag...
Sep 14, 2024•8 min
