#162: From Small Talk to Meaningful Conversations: Strategies for Introverted Coaches

I am a visibility coach , content and email marketing strategist , international speaker and author , as well as the founder of Elevate Light Coaching . That just say that I know a few things about overcoming seemingly impossible obstacles in life and in business .

I'm on a mission to be the champion that helps you to get to the top of your mountain , one courageous step at a time . Welcome to the show we're going to talk about how do you get out of small talk as a introverted coach and still getting paying clients ?

One of the big struggles and challenge for a lot of introverted female coaches is that you really don't want to put yourself into that situation where you have to do the small talk and these small talk of like how's your kids , how's your kids in the school and what are they doing ? Are they doing anything in the summer ? What , what , what , how .

So I think most of us , as introverted female coaches , I enjoy having those deep , meaningful conversation . I can get into a conversation about what do you think ? What do you believe is the meaning of life ? What is the purpose ? What is life Like ?

You're pondering a lot of these philosophical questions and answers and you're trying to get people to think like outside their life and think the bigger picture . So the intention is great , it's big and it actually go into the meaningful conversation and I remember I used to get people to think about if you are not you , then who are you ?

And most people are like what , if I'm not me , I don't know , I don't want to be anybody else . And so we find ourselves in those awkward situations where people once in a while , that's okay , but if you do it in the long run , people find you out there and you're weird .

They can never understand what's going on in your head and what are you thinking about . So people find it very difficult and challenging to communicate and articulate what is it that you do as a coach ?

And so this becomes something that it almost like a hurdle that a lot of introverted female coaches have to cross and therefore it creates that resistance and mindset thinking that whatever I put out into the world , no one will resonate .

Right , the reality is , I think a lot of coaches have not really tapped into the beauty of just being yourself in your marketing , in your messaging , and what I mean by that is each , every single one of us are very different and the way that we talk to each other , the way that we use words , certain tone , tonality , how we show up on the internet or how

we show up on the videos , whether it's high level , energy or where we're just quiet and reserved , and that's okay because that makes you feel calm , at peace , and that is how you talk to people .

So today I want to talk about and share three tips on how you can get out of these small talk as a female introverted coach , and just moving beyond than just having the small talk , and start to attract clients .

And you have it within you , trust me , and I'm not saying this just so that to make you feel better but you do have it within you and this is a , this is talents that a lot of us introverted coaches we have and others don't . Extroverted coaches they're great and they have their own talents and skills . We're not . Everybody is different , right ?

So , whether your introvert or extrovert , extrovert tend to be very spontaneous . They're fun . There's always out there . It's just very fun to be around

them . But as an introvert , you have some unique gifts that I want you to start paying attention to . What are they ? Introverts are really great at listening . Your listening skill is absolutely superb , right ? So in the coaching session , you really create .

You're able to give that space to your client , really listening to what has been said and what has not been said . You're doing that already in your coaching session with your potential clients , with your peer clients . Do that in your networking , in your everyday connecting with people . Skills . Bring that out to the world .

That's a transferable skills that you can have even when you're going to network or meeting people . You don't have to do the small talk and you never have to feel that you need to do the small talk in order to get to that paying client . What you do need to have is to be able to listen to the conversation , listening to people's conversation .

I'm not telling you to eavesdrop , by the way . You do have to eavesdrop a little bit . You want to participate in those conversations and you want to listen . Just listen to what people are saying . People are not saying . You are great in picking up that energy of what's not being said . Someone may be saying that my kids it's summertime , summer school .

I wish that they would just have that . Maintain that routine schedule . My son is not getting up early . Listen to that , right , because then you can participate in the conversation where well . It is the summertime . So it's totally understandable that your son is not waking up seven o'clock in the morning and that he's sleeping in at 10 o'clock .

What would you do to motivate your son to get up at seven o'clock ? What are some of the things that you can do there ? You just tap into a non-small talk because you listen , and so leveraging your listening skill is absolutely essential and it comes so easily for you as an introvert .

You can listen to what's not being said and use that and leverage that as your gift to get yourself out of those small talk .

Use your listening skill even when you're out of coaching session , even when you are not in a coaching session with your client , because every single day there's so many things and so many conversations that's already happening and you can tap into that conversation because your gifts in listening to people is just absolutely exquisite .

So listening skill is something that you can definitely leverage to get yourself out of the small talk . The second thing that you can leverage to get yourself out of small talk is to share your personal stories .

I cannot tell you how many times that I was in the conversation and people were talking about oh my gosh , I wish I can go on to this , I wish my diet can be different and I wish that I can lose the 10 pounds that I picked up over the last three years and I would go in there and I would share my experience on weight loss journey and how I decided .

You know what . I was looking down on my tummy and my tummy was rubbing against the steering wheel and there I was my aha moment that I needed to change . So the first thing that I did was I went to the gym and I started to get a personal trainer to help me to accomplish my goal . And so your personal stories .

It comes so handy because there's so many experiences that you can share in that conversation . That's going to help someone to huh , I never thought about that . Let me go to the gym and maybe I can start working with a personal trainer , or maybe I can sign up to my Apple watch and join an Apple fitness program .

So you want to share your personal story to break that level and break into that conversation , because now people are listening to you thinking , oh my gosh , she has done it . Let me think about that and let me process it . And how is that relatable to me ?

And so your personal stories can be a conversational starter right there and that's how you get out of that small talk . So number two is to share your personal story and number three is to just to provide values upfront .

So a lot of time when we're in the small talk and people would be like sharing things that they're struggling with , and even if they don't tell you , there's a hint in there , right , I'm so frustrated , I don't know how to manage my time . I'm feeling so overwhelmed . You go in there in that conversation and you share something valuable right away .

Right , and this is something I share with my student and all the time I said to them a lot of time coaches feel hesitate to share like advice or tips , because as coach , we don't give advice . We help that person to realize that they have what's inside of them and help them , guide them to find the answers themselves .

But you have to realize that these are not your clients at all . They're not . They didn't sign up with you .

So , personally , it's completely okay for you to share the value and share your tips , share your advice right upfront , and what that does is it captures people's attention and it's shift the conversation from that small talk of my son is not getting up in the morning to something that they would find value and find helpful , because you just gave them some tips ,

some advice that they're willing to try out . And the more that you gear towards that conversation , towards the fact that here are some of the things that you might wanna consider and you might not have think about , and these are the things that my clients have tried and used before .

Maybe you wanna consider it and maybe you want to think about it and you're just planting the seed along the way that you work with people on this matter , on this subject . So you're planting your seed early on to give that person an idea . It's not something that I can choose to talk about in the next 20 minutes .

It's something that you and I have to sit down and actually to talk through . That's also another way . How you get out of that small talk is by providing some value right upfront .

If I were to come up here and spend the last five minutes or 10 minutes and just tell you something like you go to the conversation and you get out of the small talk and you get out of the small talk , you will find it boring and you will be tapping out right away . Right , you have to provide that information .

You have to provide that value in order for people to see and to hear what would be the possibility for them to apply the same method and strategies and to see the difference in their lives .

So , to sum up and recap , we talked about the three ways , or three tips for you to get out of the small talk as an introverted female coaches , so that you can focus on getting paying clients . Our number one is to leverage your listening skill .

You're absolutely exquisite in listening to conversation , listening to people , seeing and hearing what is not being said . Leverage that skill . Number two is to share personal story . Personal stories always connect with people . If you have something that you have done , you have tried , share that and tell that .

Maybe it's your clients who have tried it , a case study that you wanted to share with the person in front of you . Share stories , connect with people . Number three is to provide value upfront . So if someone has a question .

Always give that person the answer , because that person is going to feel seen , heard and valued , so that you are planting that seed early on that , hey , I'm the topic , this is my topic , this is my subject matter , and people will start seeing you as the go-to person every time they come up with the same problem . So I hope this helps .

Let me know down in the comment , and don't forget to subscribe and tell me which one of these three tips are you willing to try and use when you find yourself in a small talk next time ? Drop into the comment . I would love to hear . Hey , beautiful , thanks for listening .

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One thing I was struggling in my early years in business was finding the right people to connect with .

It feels like I was on this entrepreneurial journey on my own , and sometimes we have to find a way to grow , and sometimes we all just need friends who can share our dreams and hopes , someone who can relate to what we're going to do as we grow our business together .

If you are a woman coach who is ready to grow your coaching business and looking for strategies to get seen , get heard and get hired . I want to invite you to come and find me in our community on Facebook at Get Clients With Storytelling .

This is a community of women coaches who want to grow a coaching business by creating engaging , visible and authentic content with storytelling for their business to get more leads and attract more clients . I will see you at our next tea party .