8:45 Idiotology August 15, 2024

A shortage of dumb people doing really stupid things. Welcome to another edition of idiotology.

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We got landscapers here feuding landscapers. I guess oh we could call this a turf war. Goodyear, Arizona. The Goodyear Police Department has detained a man accused of stabbing someone with a pitchfork. That someone would be a fellow landscaper that he got into an altercation with on Wednesday morning.

This is a little more than turf wars. Holy cow, a pitchfork. I've seen a lot of landscaping rigs, you know, living here in Florida, I don't ever recall seeing a pitchport pitchfork in the the gearbox there on side, in the rack hole in the rack. Yeah, I've seen pitchforks before, have you. Yeah, if you're clearing out land, you're gonna grab that to look how much.

More stuff I can flint? Okay, all right?

Plus, if you have another landscape and company messing with you, maybe you know, poaching your accounts, just show him the fork.

Not a lot of details in how this all played out, that it got to this level of anger, where the pitchfork was used.

Where did he stab him with it? Because I'm just picturing right in the chest, that's.

Where I would go. Do you do the head heads, you're gonna kill him?

Well, you don't do it at all, but I would think probably like right here in the belly because it's soft, you know, just like this soft underbelly. You can lift them up if you if you do it in the head, you get skull and no, oh my god, it's ross.

That would hurt like a son of a gun man.

Somebody said landscapers used as pitchforks to do mulch. Yep, to pick up all the mulch too. Yeah, god, check it up and pitch it.

Somebody said, turf war laugh of my ass. H oh, I know is uh.

I've taken it upon myself to mulch to the tune of over one hundred bags on occasion. And I'm thinking now for the pitchfork suggestion, because I'm due to do that again, can I.

Give you another suggest Another suggests pay someone to do it.

Well, there's that, but well, if you're gonna do that, pay the truck that comes out and blows it.

I did the pricing on that. It didn't seem that uh oh ma, oh you know what it was is the boy Scouts deal? Oh no, a ripoff? Yeah?

Yeah, I'm sorry Scouts, but I love the Scouts, you know, good job with everything except for the molesters. But uh, but love the Scouts. Overpriced.

When somebody pitched.

Me that for for doing my mulch in my yard, was like what my daughter's boyfriend used to run was the driver, you know, OTR of the the Moltz truck, the one that spraysed this stuff. But no, the tip that I had for you instead of a pitchfork, uh snowshovel, you know, like I do have one of those.

Here you go, because I'm I mean, I used to have to use that some bitch for the oak leaves. Uh huh.

But since now I've cut down just about every oak on my property, it just hangs there.

On the wall. It's so wrong. I still have seven oak trees. That's right, because you're back there in the oak world.

Somebody said, pay me to do it, and then somebody else said, sod, Hey, pine straw.

Laying sod sucks balls too. Oh god, that's the worst. Oh my god.

Tell them to smoke some grass and chill out. Don't worry. Probably are so pitchforks are the best for malt. Sorry, Pat, that's what people are saying of the text.

Well, okay, I'm going to be ten percent pitchfork. Then an inopportune time to experience a panic attack would be if you were an Australian weather man.

Big fools right through that part of the country, and we're going to see lots more rain in the days ahead. I'm actually going to need to stop for a second. Some of you may know that I occasionally get affected by some panic attacks, and actually that's happening right now, Lisa. Maybe I could hand back to you he sent me.

I know, I heard about this. Oh my god, You're never gonna be able to fire this guy. Oh no, no, he's unfireable. It's like, uh, you know, a black female and a wheelchair, you know everything he's covered. Wait, what what was that trifecta? You have to throw lesbian in there too. Yeah, and it's not I mean it could be a white it could be a white trans in

It even a hurricane or anything coming? No, just doing a regular run of the mill weather for guys.

You put him in tornado alley, freaking anyway, you can't, Hey, you can talk to your yard, dude, about doing your multch I bet.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to. If I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna have to find a do that next time I'm home when they come back, because that they're in and out like Ninja's dude. It's like a squad of four of them. They descend and they're there for like twelve minutes tops uh huh and out of there.

Hey, well, if you're gonna do it yourself by chance and you need a pitchfork, let me go ahead. I'll talk to Doyle. You can borrow one instead of having to buy it, because if you buy it, that's just actually that could be good to have at your house because weaponry. Yeah, you have bears when you come out of your garage sometime. If he's charging at you like I have the bat, you grab that pitchfork.

Mm hmm. We had his big s.

Ob come cruising by two nights in a row this week, trying to get to the goods in the garbage can. No, they're they're locked, man, they're bear proof. Just trying to have a little picnic basket out there. I always show Bob the video. It's like, God, he's not kidding. I'm so glad I don't.

I don't the old bears, I mean the coyotes every now and then, but they're just you know, cat getter ridders.

So you're gonna want to read more about this character, Like I said, borderline Florida man level here in Saint Petersburg, The The Tampa Bay Times did a whole story on this dude, who's been nicknamed the vape Nazi, runs a smoke shop called Tubular Tokes Skyler's Strickland little more than a vape she It's like a vape shop, convenience store on steroids type deal. But I guess this guy has like really lax in the people's skills to apartment. They do say his Asperger syndrome, which is a mild form

What's some kind of examples?

Uh? Move, move, you're taking up space. Hurry up, speak English. He's bear sprayed people on occasion.

Let's see.

Oh he's tasered a few customers. God, what are you waiting for? Mf or uh here's your s instead of thank you.

You know what, maybe you should start vaping a little more, sir, or some kind of meds.

He must have good prices, man, if people are putting up with.

This, Yeah, if you go to a vape store, get bear bear spreaded tubular toes.

I would think most of the clientele are probably pretty mellow.

I mean we need to or maybe they're they're out of juice and they're like, I don't want to go to that guy.

I should just quit.

Vaping, and they get to the part where they're totally they nicking out, you know what I'm saying, Like they're having a nick fit because they've waited because they're afraid of this dude, and then they go in there.

They're like, I just need vape juice and he's here.

He goes gets you with the bear spear, f the taser, vape Nazi of Saint Pete.

I hope that he's not listening on the Free iHeart app over there, because if he is, he might be getting a pitchfork.

Next weaponry.

This dude, where's it like a badge honor? I mean, he just got a whole like seven page right up in the local newspaper.

Yeah, any way, they're going.

They're going to Skyler's Tubular Tests.

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