Linch Taco.
This is Orlando's rock station one O one one w j r R. This hour brought to you by our next Sunday fun Day with our very own Taco Bob.
I'm looking at the place right now, Mullets Sports Bar. You're already there in Claremont. No, no, no, I'm looking online. It's gonna be a good time out there. We're out there with surfs I and Vodka doing a Summer of Rock ticket blitz every fifteen minutes, tickets for shows like I don't know, Volbeat, Coheedon, Camria, Steak Figure. I'm telling you, come on out, Mullets Sports Bar.
What time on Sunday in Claremont?
Noon to two? Okay, unless I get an email letter that says, hey, we don't confused, noon to two this Sunday. Let's do it all right?
You remembering a hole. We're gonna get crazy.
Remember earlier in the week we had the story about the guy named Loony Toon who was on the run from police. He's been apprehend by the way to rack up that story there, Okay, just when we thought that was put to bed, say hello to thirty four year old Patches Magic Beans. How does this happen. Patches magic Beans is from Heartland, Wisconsin.
I'm telling you, if you go and and I know you researched beyond belief for all these idiotologies, but if you search these people changed their name to that, there's no way unless he was born with psoriasis or ezema that they're naming him Patches.
Patches magic Beans. Yeah, he is from Wisconsin. However, over this past weekend he was over in Minnesota driving apparently under the influence of hallucinogenic mushrooms. Who would have thought, well, the officer that was following the thirty four year old Patches magic Beans kind of thought something was up when he saw the swerving going on about ten till four in the afternoon as Patches was headed towards the Lafayette Tunnel, which is north of Two Harbors, Michigan. This is when
he began swerving even more, hit a curb. The van that he was in, hit a curb curb, several traffic cones just underneath the tunnel, and then hit a scissor lift that had some workers on top working on some lights that were in the tunnel, knocking the scissor lift, leaving one of the tunnel workers hanging on for dear life like this, you know, like on the monkey bars. Oh yeah, like you see in the movies as the van flipped over and rolled multiple times before coming to a stop and Patches gets us.
So the long straine trip it's been.
And the police are you know, there to witness this whole thing. They said he was obviously showing signs of some sort of impairment. His eyes were blown, and he became combative with rescue workers as they tried to remove him from his vehicle. They say magic Beans was saying things that did not make sense and appeared to be engaging with things in the air that were not actually there. Yeah, they did not smell alcohol, but they believed magic Beans
was impaired by a controlled substance. They later found what authorities believed to be psilocybin mushrooms in the vehicle.
You can get those anywhere nowadays.
Magic Beans said he did not remember the construction zone, and the last thing you remember was driving in another town, which was about an hour away from where the crash happened. He did later on, though, admit that he had been dosing and well, yeah, he had been forging, forcing or forging for mushrooms on his own for personal use.
Well, he's not a microdosing, by the way. When he's dosing, that dude is macro. Think if he hit the side of the tunnel so hard in his magic being bus that he busted the water.
You know what I'm getting at. Like you've driven in those tunnels.
I've been in a car with you when you're driving a tunnel belite, beneath a river or a body of water.
I'm not real familiar with the Highway sixty one Lafayett tunnel if that's under a body of water or through a mountain or something.
But I'm thinking of you really pierced it, you know.
God, And again, all I think is movies, Looney Tune, Patches, magic Beans.
This one, Patches is completely normal. We're the crazy ones. Yeah, yeah, you have the mushroom.
Keep telling yourself that, sir man.
Since said my grandpa's name was Pockets. Okay, I'm wondering why I can't read that one. That's for darn sure.
What in the hell is going on at the Jersey Shore Yesterday we had the story of a swimmer being impaled by a needlefish. Yeah, and now we've got a New Jersey lifeguard that was impaled by a six foot umbrella. Now we've seen this happen before, even locally, Yeah, with a umbrella going airborne, but that does not sound to be the or seem to be the case with this situation. This was in Asbury Park Beach.
That my wife is right near there right now.
The first responders showed up and had to cut the pole, oh god, which was around an inch in diameter at both ends, with a handsauce so the young woman could fit in an ambulance. The lifeguard had a six foot umbrella pole that entered into her left armpit and exited out the left side of her back. The woman is believed about nineteen or twenty years old. The fellow lifeguards provided first day before the fire department in ems Rod. They rushed her to the Jersey Shore University Medical Center.
Rescuers said the lifeguard remained alert and conscious. Did she fall off her lifeguards stand? There's one of two things that happened. It's not clear exactly how she became impaled. Some reports say when knocked her off the lifeguard stand and she fell on top of the pole. Others say she was impaled while sitting on the stand. Oh she fell off. I'm telling you, when I tried out for lifeguarding, I'm ten percent lifeguard. By the way, when I tried out,
there's certain things you had to watch out for. You know why I didn't do it because about maybe halfway out on the swim, because you got to swim all the way out, swim back in. I looked over, man, everybody's lapping me. Do I really want to say? People?
And I turned around got quit.
I thought you were gonna say they were gonna require you to be there for eight hours. It was a long dass numburn too the fun.
Hey, thank you all you lifeguards for keeping people safe and out of the rip current.
The fire chief that responded to the incident was there had some some helpful reminders for beach goers to remember to make sure umbrellas are secure in the sand and always carry them with the point down. Yeah, says kind of same rule of scissors. Yeah, dude, you don't want to take an eye out of that, right speech umbrella? No, we had one here in Bevarre right, somebody got them paled ardervolutions. I definitely remember that. That girl's never gonna use Toyoda at the same.
Oh this yeah, wow, I mean right through pet if it goes in here and you said out of the back, poor girl.
Yeah, they had to cut it down so she could fit in the ambulance. You're gonna get that extended as well.
You don't want the bad up of having an umbrella open inside of a contained vehicle.
That's just like opening an umbrella in doors.
Or they'd have to hang it out the back and that would create like a parachute drag type situation.
Yeah, okay, then named Butch from New Jersey.
Hey, the old pull my finger deal. We all know what that is.
Can I just show you a text? Do not even attempt to read this back. We're not on Facebook live right now right now.
Two two five two six is our text line, which is always interesting. Got you guys and ladies, keep us quite.
These people are on fire today, listeners. We love you people that are sending these texts in I bet that's the same one who said patches as normal. We're all a crazy one.
Wow.
That last one was abaute, wasn't it.
A police officer in England might lose his job after he asked a female coworker to pull his finger. He's now dealing with a disciplinary review to decide if he should be fired for what he did or not. Get this this happened. The initial incident happened in twenty twenty one. So he walks up to the female co worker says, pull my finger. She says she knew exactly what he was planning to do, so she told him to go away.
But at that point he immediately spun around and then stood on his toes and let loose six inches away from her face and then laughed about it. Clearly, it takes four years to review an incident like this to decide on what, if any kind of discipline should be.
I know, in twenty twenty one it was the times where you know, everybody's real sensitive.
But I'm with her.
You don't fart in somebody's face six inches away right after.
You got to have at least a console between you and your victim.
Yeah, yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about here, you and I. No the Uh that's right after COVID tiss she could have yeah, claimed the COVID fart?
Yeah, can you spread COVID with farts? Uh? That's that's that is a valid question. That's a valid question, I guarantee. I mean it's a it's yeah, I would think. I mean, you're washing your hands until the skin fell off.
Yeah, wearing gloves and masks and huh so, how many years of bad luck do you get enough from umbrella opens?
Will? I'm paled through your body? Right? Exactly? A boy, what a well rounded idiotology this has been.
Huh well w J R R.
We are Orlando.