Hey friends , rebecca here , your favorite widow and welcome to season 3 of Love is Not Dead , just my husband . I cannot believe we've made it this far , and when I say we , i do need you , because I definitely wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you .
I only hoped that I would find a few widows with the same mindset of moving forward , rediscovering themselves and ready to find a new , happily ever after . I mean , who knew I would find a whole tribe of widows looking for the exact same thing ?
And for the longest I felt like I didn't deserve the title of widow because I didn't feel like I was sad enough or not talking about Tom enough , or not showing grief enough , moving forward too quickly , you know , by whomever's definition . But the thing is about being a widow . It's about you and not the person that you love .
There are a lot of misconceptions about widows how we should act , what we should say and what we should do with our lives . Opinions are like assholes and everybody has one , and if you are sharing your opinion with a widow about what you think they should do and you are not a widow , please keep that opinion to yourself .
And if you are a widow or someone who has experienced a loss . You should know that everyone grieves differently . I hate that I even have to say this , but be kind . Everyone's marriages , personalities , situations and life experiences and how quickly they decide to move forward will be different . The point is , everyone is different .
This is exactly why there is no right or wrong way to widow , and you don't need permission to widow your way , and if , for some reason , you do , i am officially giving you permission to do just that Widow your own damn way . So this season we're going to set the record straight .
I want to talk about these widow stereotypes , facts and myths , and why widows do the things that we do , the stages of grief and maybe even a few things that widows want to say but don't , and that means that I also want to hear from you .
I've already got a whole list of topics that widows have asked me to discuss or just bring to light because they want other people to know , and I don't mind , because I know that it's not just widows listening to this podcast . So tell me , is there something that you want to say to the world , or just someone in general ?
Have you been looking for a platform to share it , or maybe you just need a little courage to speak your mind . Tell me , i'll say it for you . Have you desperately been looking for a widow's handbook that doesn't exist . This is where you're going to learn to make your own . I used to hate being a widow . I felt like there was some kind of stigma to it .
I felt that all widows were old people and I couldn't relate . I myself stereotyped widows . I've even shared a story before about having breakfast early one morning with my best friend , angie at a Bojangles . I started staring at all the old men that were at tables by themselves eating alone , and I just assumed they were widows .
So I started crying and I told my best friend that I didn't want that to be me one day , that I didn't want to be old and alone eating breakfast by myself . They may not have even been widows . Grief should not come with discrimination , from the outside looking in , but also from other people who are grieving .
People compare their grief all the time Grief for a parent , sibling , a friend , a child , a pet to a widow . And let me be clear I'm not saying that being a widow is the ultimate level of grief . I think all losses are the same . The only difference is how we grieve them .
I find that the loss of my brother , donnie , has been way harder than the loss of my husband , tom , and I get some really funny looks from widows when I say that . And with that being said , why do I see so much judgment from widow to widow ? How do we get around this ? How do we stop that from happening ? Why do we judge how other people grieve ?
Now , i've been guilty of that myself and I'm not proud of it , but that was way before . I've experienced so much loss and had a grief journey of my own , so I can understand it a little bit better .
We're all hurting , we're all in pain and we're all suffering through grief , and so , instead of passing judgment on who grieved it best , let's be there for each other , to console and support each other , because we're all just trying to move forward And , after all , love is not dead apps against our husbands .