¶ Healing Through Creativity
Hello and welcome to this very special episode of the Long Covid Podcast . Today I am going to be joined not by one guest , but by several , all of whom are here to share their fantastic creativity . So we've got a wide array of people who have done painting and poetry and writing , also some music , and some people who have done more than one of those things .
I've done this episode every year . This creativity , because I think it is so wonderful to be inspired by people who are using creativity to help them to process things , as a means to help them to calm themselves , for mental health , a wide , wide variety of things , as well as potentially bringing them together , for example , the choir . Why is this important ?
Why is this important ? So many reasons . With conditions like long COVID and ME-CFS , we can feel so isolated , we can feel so disconnected , and creativity can be a way to calm ourselves , to process things , to connect with ourselves , to connect with others , to take us out of our own heads , to get into that kind of flow .
And it doesn't matter how long you do it for , whether it's two minutes or two hours , it doesn't matter if it's good . You know so many people judge themselves on the quality of what they do and think with creativity certainly here , but actually creativity generally it's not so much about what you do , it's doing it in the first place .
So I hope you enjoy this episode . It brings tears to my eyes as I put it together . You enjoy this episode . It brings tears to my eyes as I put it together . And all of the people who have contributed will have links to their social media , their website , anything they want to share in the show notes . So please do go check that out .
And anyone who has a visual component to what they've shared their work will be on the creativity page on the podcast website , which will also be linked in the show notes . So please do go and check out the art and anything else that these people have shared .
If you are interested in joining the long covid and me cfs healing through creativity facebook group , there's also going to be a link to that in the show notes , and this year we've really expanded with all sorts of events and it's been really , really fun .
So , without further ado , I am going to get out of the way and let you enjoy everyone's wonderful creativity . And a final word there might be something here that may be triggering to you , so please take care of yourselves , and if you need to listen to this on a different day , then please do that . So here we go .
Hi , I'm Anna Bell and I've loved writing all my life . I have an early memory of a jotter which my gran bought me one Christmas , and the pages were filled from front to back with writing and I had written with a pen and been so enthusiastic through every page that the pages crackled as I turned them over .
And now I can't remember much about what I wrote about . I think it was about my experiences and I just loved being in the flow of it , which has led to a way of writing now which I would describe as free flow writing , and that is certainly not about being perfect .
It's about writing whatever comes to mind in a way that associates with things that you want to think about , like things that are good in life or nature , through the senses , that type of thing , so that you absorb yourself in it .
And I certainly have found that helpful to the point that I've written a book and I write meditations and things like that , and I've written a lot of blogs as well , and that free flow style , and particularly the expression of it , seems to have the effect of getting in touch with myself .
What's important in my life , life , what is there that could be attended to right now ?
And just generally feeling back to being centered and balanced , and whether it's been in in good times or challenging times , I've always found it to be therapeutic and have some kind of shift of energy as well , even just lightly and gently and it's not about forcing an outcome Like I would encourage you to pick up a pen and just write whatever you want to write
about today .
It might be the view out the window , it might be something that's a nice memory , it may be family time or something to do with your friends or a place you've been , and that's what I did in the piece that I'm going to share today , which was inspired by a trip to the Wild Pacific Coast , the west coast of Vancouver Island , and being really deeply in nature
, and it naturally led me to be so present with myself that it really changed something in the way that I noticed things and certainly in how I express them as well .
I felt called to bring together my thoughts and feelings and the incredible range of wildlife that we were there to see without disturbing it in any way , and that is also in the book , and so for that today , I hope you enjoy that and the rest of the podcast , and thanks for listening . This is called A Wild and Mindful Life by Anna Bell .
A journey of 10,000 miles planes , trains , automobiles , boats and a cable car to arrive in this wild and beautiful place , facing out over the Pacific Ocean , feeling the rhythm of the waves , watching the surf for endless hours , day and night , mesmerized by the beautiful rise and fall of the water .
And now and again , a visit from the wildlife whose land we have invaded , sitting still so as not to disturb them . Eagles soaring and swooping with a flash of white feathers on their heads and tails , a majestic wingspan over six feet wide , a bear bumbling its way happily through our back garden , finding its way back to the lush forest .
It came from Two hushed cries of delight and paused breath , while we took in the sight A graceful deer exploring on the rocks just a few feet away , disappearing for a short time , then returning with her newborn fawn .
A privilege to share the miracle of new life , urging little legs to find their strength , clattering clumsily on the rocks and being honoured by daily visits right past where we were sitting , both of them becoming more and more steady and trusting as the days passed , being startled by the high-pitched twittering and swift movement of a hummingbird , hovering briefly to
drink in the sweet syrupy water in the bird feeder . And then many more followed with wings , so fast . They were a blur , yet the bright metallic green of their feathers was still and shining .
Yet the bright metallic green of their feathers was still and shining , watching a humpbacked whale as her glossy back arced through the water and the gigantic graceful tail following , slowly , an experience of a lifetime to be in her presence .
I have never felt such awe and wonder of being alive at peace , in stillness , noticing every drop of rain and whisper of trees , sensing an eternity as well as a single moment , feeling strong emotions and connection with the people who have lived here for thousands of years before us , humble and gracious about preserving their lands and oceans and all the life they
hold , and I'm so thankful to bring all these experiences with me entwined in my roots and branches and the air I breathe , to remember forever .
¶ Finding Hope Through Adversity
Hi , I'm Emma Major . I'm an artist , a poet , a blind wheelchair user and I live with long Covid . I've written poetry ever since I was a child . That form of creativity was basically my form of journaling , and I used it all the way through my teens and into adulthood .
I only started painting as a way of coping with my increasing disability about 10 years ago and realised it was fantastic for my mental health . Then , when I was discharged from the hospital having caught Covid in late 2020 , I was still bed bound . I didn't really recover much over the next few months and eventually I was told I had long Covid .
It was then that I learned how to paint digitally using my iPad . I started painting as a way of illustrating my poetry , and this resulted in a book of poetry about living with long Covid called Dormoviglia . Yeah , I'll make sure there's a link put , because you're never going to spell that .
It was my long Covid consultant who read some of my poems and encouraged me to find a publisher . Two years on , my painting has taken on a life of its own and , although I'm able to sit in my wheelchair for a few hours a day , on an average day I paint digitally in bed or on the sofa , allowing poetry to develop .
At the same time , I'm lucky enough to be exhibited around the UK and to have books of poetry and art published several times a year . I've got some things from a brand new series I'm creating called In Pain , which tries to express what it's like to live with mental or physical pain or both . I hope you enjoy them . Mental or physical pain or both .
I hope you enjoy them . If you'd like to connect on social media , then you can find me at emmuk74 . Again , there'll be a link . And I have a website which I try to keep updated , which is llmcallingcom , and again it'll be linked thepaincrawlingcom , and again it'll be linked .
The pain crippled her morning , noon and night , tormenting her every moment , determined to win the fight , the fight she never chose , didn't even know existed . Yet one day she woke to find to this battle she'd enlisted , the battle was with herself . She slowly came to find Payne could not be beaten . What a criminal mastermind . There was no other choice .
She had to keep on going . She turned her back on war , the future , without knowing . Could she find a way to negotiate a peace ? Would Payne accept a deal to give her some release ? She tried to understand the issues that pain brought to offer some solutions , but it all came to naught . Running was her only option , yet no option at all .
Her legs wouldn't cooperate . She'd fall and fall , and fall . Yet she kept on trying . Each day a new attempt , mediating agreements , no option exempt . The pain slowly retreated In the background . It remained still a constant presence , but in a box contained . The war with pain was over . They lived an awkward peace . There never was surrender , neither found release .
They gained an understanding , a way to co-exist . She listened to pain's needs , wrote up quite a list then focused on the future , a way to thrive again . She found a way of living her best life despite the pain . Her best life despite the pain . Pain is irrevocably in love with the dark , taking advantage of the long silent hours as dawn breaks .
Your words are a light in that dark , lightening my heavy heart . Then , when the dam of grief breaks , you pull me from the water to safety again , reminding me that I can still fight , though it's also okay to accept what will be On the days I long to hibernate .
You whisper conversations into the void , and when yet another night approaches , you whisper a light of hope in the dark . It may feel as if everything is changing , ending dying . But despite the fear and anxiety , amidst the grief , there is always hope .
It may be only a glimmer , a blue sky on an autumn day , a kind word along the way , but when we let these moments simmer , they start to grow from a speck of light into a glow that warms the heart , reminding us that change may be hard . But in that journey there is positivity .
Even when it's out of sight , it still shines a light when days feel never-ending , with far too many variables leaving your heart in a shambles . Many variables leaving your heart in a shambles . Stop and remember . The map of life is still being drawn , full of adventures yet to be glimpsed . Valleys and mountains draped with dreams are glistening just out of sight .
Now is the time to hold on to future promises , lifting your eyes above the current plight .
Hi , my name's Olga . I've been a musician and music teacher for a long time , so music has always been a big part of my life , but since becoming unwell , it's been hard to play music and go to gigs . Some of my musician friends organised an online concert this autumn and it brought me so much joy .
I've been part of a large online community of people recovering from long COVID and I wanted to be able to bring some of this joy to them too . Thus formed the idea of the hibernation sessions . I invite musician friends of mine to play concerts for us on Zoom and invite my online community .
What I didn't expect was that the concerts would appeal not just to people who were unwell , but to people who lived in more isolated communities or found it difficult to leave the house because of their age , or people who just fancied tuning in to a really great free concert .
It's been a lovely way for me to connect with family and friends across the globe and other online music communities , but , most importantly , to offer a gift to anyone who is in a similar situation to me A small reminder of the kindness in the world and the good we can do for each other , even in limited circumstances .
¶ Embracing Creativity Through Adversity
The hibernation sessions helps me feel proud of who I am as a human , even if I can't do the things I once did . It's really empowering for me to have a project to work on , emails to check and a reason to have positive interactions with people .
When you get ill , it can feel like you lose everything , so it feels great to reconnect with old friends , make new ones and do something positive . Being involved in organising concerts makes me feel like myself again , and that in itself is very healing . So far , we've had a klezmer violinist , an Irish folk trio and an English folk singer play at the sessions .
The concerts are free , but I ask for donations for the musicians , but only if people can afford it . There's no obligation to pay anything . It feels nice to help people when I'm so reliant on others for many of my needs . At the moment . Life has its strange paradoxes .
I may not be able to leave the house much , but I can still organise an international concert series . Thanks to popular demand . There will be a new season of concerts in early 2025 . Check out the links in the bio below to sign up . I miss playing concerts .
I'm not well enough to do one yet , but watch out for my first concert , which will be on the hibernation session sometime next year , and know that when it does happen , it will be a big milestone and a great reason for celebration . You are all invited For now . Here is a taster of what to expect . For now . Here is a taster of what to expect .
I thought long and hard about what to play and I thought , god , I've got to play something really meaningful or something related to health , and I decided that was too much pressure . So I'm just going to play a song that has brought me a lot of comfort and joy .
It's called the Lounge Bar and it's written by a Norwegian fiddler about a bar in the Shetland Islands called the Lounge Bar , where they have trad sessions .
I have been painting probably for about 16 or 17 years and for almost all that time I've been lucky enough to have a group of people that I paint with once a week . So I'm used to painting in a group and I'm what's called a process painter , in that I am just with what's happening in the moment .
I don't know what I'm going to paint , I don't pre-think about it or have an image or something in mind . I use painting and art making to process my emotions , so sometimes I'll come in with a certain emotion . Sometimes I'll just pick certain colors or something that I've seen in the last couple weeks inspires me .
I sometimes include quotes , I do multimedia things , so I use paper , I use plastic , I do photo transfer , so sometimes there's a photographic image in my artwork .
And what art does for me is it helps me get in touch with something organic and primal in myself , like time disappears or I experience time in a different way when I'm creating art and something just flows between me and the canvas . So it it doesn't feel like ego I is making the art .
It feels like something greater than myself sort of comes in , because sometimes I'll get the message to use a color that ego eye doesn't particularly like , but that's the download and I respect the downloads . So I would encourage any of you that have the capacity just to get some art supplies . It doesn't have to be expensive , it doesn't have to be .
I don't buy really expensive paint or canvases and just start creating , start putting your hand to it , in it , on it , you know , knitting clay , arranging flowers there's all sorts of things you can do . But just some experience or expression with color , I think is really , really helpful . I love making art , and love to all of you .
Hi , my name is Sally . I'm a retired nurse and an artist . Prior to COVID , I was very active . In fact I was so strong . My husband referred to me as his industrial grade woman . We hiked at least two to three times a week . I was making art , writing poetry , taking music lessons . And then COVID hit . I had given up my art . I didn't hike anymore .
No more music lessons , no more Spanish lessons . As soon as I started feeling better , I decided to make art . I put my headphones on , I played some music my nephew had composed he plays guitar and writes very good music and I started making an art piece .
All I could think of was how I had been gaslighted by so many people and I became very angry because when I was a nurse , I worked on a clinical research floor in the Harvard Medical System and took care of many patients who had complex health problems with no known cause and no known treatment , and they were getting a lot of health care .
I sort of went into a trance and poured my feelings into my artwork . I completed a piece called Warriors . It's one of my best pieces . It has been featured in art showcases and gotten a lot of really nice feedback . I was amazed at how therapeutic it was to pour all my feelings into creating art .
I decided right then and there I was going to become an advocate for Long COVID . I contacted a local art center and we have decided to put together an exhibit that features artists who have long COVID and they will tell their stories through the art pieces . Instead of an artist's statement .
They will have a story of their long COVID and there will be a speaker who wrote a book about creating art when she had long COVID and a doctor who has long COVID will be speaking . When I was sick with COVID , I felt very , very fragile and very vulnerable .
Transitioning into being an artist who is also an advocate has made me feel very empowered and it is so much fun .
Hi , I'm Sarah and I think I've been living with ME for most of my adult life . Stubborn as I am , I was still determined to work , as I loved my job as a head teacher of a vibrant but challenging school , and I was good at it too . However , by 2014 , my body could cope no longer and I was bedbound for six long months .
My husband was amazing , nurturing me back to life . The last 10 years have been slow and painful , and I've had to grieve the me that I once had , the life that's been lost and the dreams that I held on to .
The life that's been lost and the dreams that I held on to , I think for me , in the stillness of bed , I was able to honour what the reality was and to begin to explore creativity through writing and crochet .
Then , during lockdown , when I was getting very bored , my hubby came back with a set of watercolour , paints , paper and brushes from a local discount shop , and from that moment I've never looked back . The key for me was to embrace the cost . So at first , before I started , I would say the equipment would cost me a pound , for example , less than a coffee .
So if I want to throw it in the bin , I can , and that gave me an enormous amount of freedom to experiment and really enjoy the process . Watercolour is a fantastic medium for me , as I have moderate to severe ME , which means I'm housebound for around 90% of the time .
I need to rest a great deal and therefore in between washes I lie on my daybed and wait for my body to be ready to do the next bit . Painting to me is like a ballet of paper , paint and brush dancing over and around different rhythms and tunes to produce unique pieces .
Timing and patience in watercolour is everything , and I love watching the paint mix and dance on the paper . I love to capture some of the spaces I loved the beach , the hills and painting can take me there . It's freeing and life-giving . Recently , I've opened my online shop . As , with limited energy , markets and craft fairs are extremely difficult to attend .
Sending off my brown , paper-wrapped parcels of joy across the globe brings me such joy and fulfillment . I'm continuing to journey in my creativity , trying out a YouTube reference space where people can watch longer process videos and that's a place in development and I'm also hosting some online Zoom paint with me type sessions , which are lots of fun .
Painting and creating gives me hope and a purpose in life . It brings connectivity to what was and hope for what might just be . Working with my body rather than against it has allowed me to rekindle that sense of joy and hope for the future .
It might not look like I hoped it would , but actually it's so exciting and interesting to put paint to paper and see where that creativity might lead . So I would encourage you to give it a try . It doesn't have to cost a fortune .
You can even do it in a sketchbook from your bed , because I do Just do it and watch the colours dance together on the page , creating enchanted moments .
Hi , I'm Jade and I've had long covid since december 2023 and in june this year I had to stop working and things were getting really bad . It was a very difficult decision to close down my business , but it's helped me focus on recovery . I've had a lot of trouble concentrating and due to all these horrible migraines and pressure in my head .
A friend suggested learning to crochet , as it's a new skill which helps get new pathways made in the brain , but it's not too taxing . So I learned to crochet and , after some struggle , tangles and cute mistakes , I'm now able to make bags and animals , ghosts and bats for Halloween .
Friends are requesting them and now I'm just finishing a pair of gloves for winter . There are so many free patterns out there and things to make . You just need cheap yarn and a set of needles . I've always been creative , as it's part of being human . Humans have told stories around the campfire since the dawn of time , painted on rocks , etc . Etc .
I think expressing yourself and your life is so individual . There is only one of you , so only one of your type of creativity . I've used this time to slowly explore more of my creative side with , like painting and crafting and crochet hopefully not putting too much pressure on myself and it's given me something to look forward to each day .
My previous work was in the film industry , so I also started my own YouTube channel to give me a creative outlet to help others with long COVID to learn more about my situation and stay within my industry despite my current sabbatical . My channel is called Living with Long COVID Jade and I'd love you to check it out .
Expressing my creativity helps me keep a positive outlook , helps me keep learning and contributing to my growth and journey in life .
So thank you and stay creative we're almost at the end of our 2024 creativity episode . Before our final item , I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for listening , to thank you for your support of the podcast this year and for the last three and a bit years .
It has been my genuine honour to put out these episodes and to speak with so many wonderful and amazing guests and amazing guests . Whatever you do over the holidays , whether you're celebrating or not , I hope that you're able to find some peace and some connection and a little bit of joy , whatever you're doing . So the Long Covid Podcast will be back
¶ Finding Solace in Song
in 2025 . And here is Merel to close us out with the Long Covid Choir .
The Long Covid Choir was formed in March 2021 by peeps in the darkness , to others living with the debilitating effects of the condition , to others living with the debilitating effects of the condition , accessible even to those who may be housebound or bedridden . Our friendly and informal weekly online sessions have been good for our hearts , lungs and souls .
We meet every Wednesday at 7pm , uk time , and we sing a variety of musical styles . There are no auditions , no singing experience is required and there is no need to be able to read music .
Singing together has brought us joy and friendship as we navigate the life-changing experience of long COVID , and we are so delighted to share with you our latest recording of a song that we have been practicing during our sessions . The song is in German and the German text is as follows Alles schweiget , alles schweiget .
Nachtigallen locken mit süßen Melodien , tränen ins Auge , schwermut ins Herz . The English translation is as follows All is silent , all is silent . Nightingales draw with sweet melodies . Tears in the eye , heaviness in the heart . Thank you for listening to our song .