Hola! So Warren was watching the movie Surrogates, and while he only saw some of it, he figures the screenwriters missed out on some the obvious implications of having a robot version of yourself to run around in and live your life through. Sure, they figured out some stuff about violent crime and STDs, but what about the sweat pants, huh? And public toilets? And if you wanted your surrogate to defecate (for obvious reasons) what would come out? Now imagine all the unresolved details about healt...
Aug 21, 2013•13 min
We start out the episode talking about popular expressions that are less than 20 years old. If you have any other ideas than what we came up with, send us a fax. If you don't have a fax machine yet, then send us an email ([email protected]). Later, we move into a brand new segment called "How about that?" Warren presents a rather scathing review of Huxley's Brave New World, and then asks "How about that?" This new segment enrages John and confuses everyone else. So it's about par for t...
Jul 22, 2013•11 min
Warren challenges team LA to answer this unresolved question: when does a scarf become a blanket? Does it have anything to do with wheels or posture? You'll have to listen to John stutter through a painful (although amusing) summary of the issues, but this precis quickly becomes inadequate, as we discover the nuances of this superficially simple, but actually intricate problem. In fact, although we do suggest some of the philosophical complexities, we may need your help to achieve a satisfying s...
May 22, 2013•10 min
Good morning! You too, Mr Deluise! Join us on a nature walk, when Warren asks why humans are the only animals that wipe their asses after pooping. First we deal with all of the obvious semantic issues (we know you've already made a list of these), before getting to some important instructions for several aspects of toilet performance. You might think you're already an expert, but allow us to enlighten you: there are volumes of stuff you don't already know about proper pooping, and the internet i...
Apr 09, 2013•13 min
It's the first episode of season 8! It's great!! The start of this season is motivated by drunkards outside of Luc's house, who may have been singing the bagpipe song. Or maybe Amazing Grace. Anyway, on the topic of Scottish problems, Warren asks us to solve the problem of Scottish independence. We get a bit sidetracked by thinking about the nature of the question for the upcoming referendum, so we don't have any brilliant solution for Scotland, but maybe that's for the best. If you want to use ...
Mar 01, 2013•10 min
Luc makes a return visit to the Safari Park where he previously met a chimp with serious rectal problems (see Episode "The Assey Wonders of Wunderbar"). Understandably, this leads to speculation on the nature of the afterlife. What if you don't like sand? Or boobs? Or sandy boobs? Then what, huh? Also, we get repunched in the mail sack by Zeth, who generously responds to our rather ungenerous response to his earlier email. I gotta hand it to the guy � he's extremely dedicated. Maybe excessively ...
Jan 28, 2013•15 min
Get ready for yet another special (and extra long) holiday episode of Limited Appeal. This time, Warren has a new series of bird recordings for us to describe (just like previous episodes of Who's That Bird), but the extra twist is that each bird has some kind of Christmas significance, and Warren is awarding extra points if we can figure out how. Extra points = extra drama (or possibly just extra bullshit). Three whole rounds of bird guessing! But they are extra weird sounds, so it's totally wo...
Dec 19, 2012•21 min
After starting out with some excellent intro music (Sparks is da man!), Warren introduces this week's Urban Legend. This is an update of an earlier episode (Linda's Favourite Hiding Spot), in which Warren had described the invention of the dildo. Turns out the true origin of the DILbertDOugh is in fact botanical, but this time it involves witchcraft and the, ahem, vaginal "administration" of "flying ointment". (I'm not sure which set of quotation marks is more important, so I'm leaving both in.)...
Dec 05, 2012•11 min
This episode's mailsack contains a friendly invitation from The Four Listeners Podcast. We briefly consider the appropriate way to respond, but we're actually not very good at appropriate, so the segment ends up being unnecessarily (but perhaps predictably) hostile. Yeah. Soooo, sorry about that Zeth. To be fair (or at least somewhat less unfair), since the recording I have listened to a bit of Listeners, and it's not so bad. They even have a possibly frequent Aussie guest Kath (I only listened ...
Nov 09, 2012•13 min
Today we spend a predictably large fraction of time discussing farts and bees. How are they related? Well, they're mostly not, but they partly ARE (arguably). Exactly how? Well aren't you equipped with the questioning persistence of a three year old? Just listen to the podcast � it's full of health and safety information on important (arguably) gastrointestinal physiology. Guaranteed to have some approximately scientific facts, at least some of the time. But no fart noises, because we're a class...
Oct 01, 2012•14 min
We begin this episode with a foody goody segment in which John suggests a pizza innovation. Flavoured crusts! No, not the kind you already heard of, because that's NASTY! Our discussion gets a bit derailed by trying to define "stuffin' it with the NASTY", and after that, by a strange decision to substitute definitions of adverbs (and then later, adjectives) with their dictionary definitions. Try it with your friends, or possibly with your political representatives, but maybe not with poets, or s...
Aug 21, 2012•11 min
This episode we wanna push you around! Actually, we try to name 5 song titles that could be used to describe a recent bowel movement. You will not be surprised that this is easy for some of us. Warren has a list of 40, and he's even categorized his responses: see if you can name 5 of his categories instead of songs, because otherwise this is too easy. On topic, shouldn't the verb to "soil oneself" or "soil something" only be used if you've been eating dirt? No? I seem to be in the minority on th...
Jul 13, 2012•8 min
This week we try to name five things that are beautiful, no matter what they say. Did you spot the ambiguous pronoun? Once you figure out the antecedent this may make more sense. Maybe? Have you checked out a cockroach's face recently? Don't even get me started on their bodies. almost as hot as hurricanes! Sexy, sexy hurricanes, especially when they come in pairs. Then Warren introduces a new segment, Elucidate This!, in which Warren reads a poem and the rest of us try to analyze it and find its...
Jun 07, 2012•15 min
For the first time in a long while, we reach deep into the mail sack. In reference to Episode Muffcake, a listener comments on all the crap in our podcast, and suggests we might want to run for office. Luc questions the relevance of cupcakes and muffins for public policy planning, but perhaps he's unfairly dismissing some broadly relevant aspects of baking for the common good. Perhaps. Next, Warren refers to an episode of Seinfeld in which pastrami is designated as the most sensual of salted cur...
Apr 19, 2012•13 min
Season 7! Can you believe it? Oh. Anyway, to kick off a brand new season (that you apparently are completely unsurprised about, ya dick), we try to name 5 pairs of words that rhyme but, when you say them, think to yourself (or possibly say aloud), "Words, you got NO business rhyming with each other!" This is harder than it sounds, in part because we don't really know what this means, and Warren doesn't even has an example. What makes words have business rhyming with one another? If you sufficien...
Mar 02, 2012•10 min
Happy 2012, everyone! To bring in the New Year, we discuss how in some cases, autoerotic entertainment involves altered consciousness. But only in moderation! You don't want to do this in excess. Ahem. After that PSA, we do a bit of arguing over whether rewind still works as a word to describe going backwards on an audio track. It doesn't, which probably means that last sentence was inscrutable. Oh well. Finally, we talk about pies. Is there such a thing as a bad pie? Are you sure? Have you chec...
Jan 29, 2012•15 min
Are you thirsty? I thought so. Grab a bottle of liquid fish, and join us on a Nature Walk: for the mercifully final Round of Who's That Bird: A'Frickin' Edition. Play along, even if you are a former goalie for the Oilers and a bit high right now. It's guaranteed to be almost completely bullshit, but we do provide the right answer at some stage, so it's conceivable, if unlikely, that you could learn something. Who knows? Also, see if you can guess who has to eat whose reacharound. Maybe it will t...
Jan 11, 2012•12 min
Merry Christmas everyone! And good ted-ings to you all. We start this brand new season-appropriate episode by trying to name 5 Christmas or Tedmas gifts that sound well-meaning, but would cause the recipient to ask for just a card next year. Have you received any plastic broken necklaces? How about some gluten? A new world? Some bready soda, especially if you're a celiac? Send us your wishlist by email ([email protected]). Theme music courtesy of Mugison and Ipecac Recordings.
Dec 09, 2011•11 min
Warren begins the show by reminding us of googlewhacking: the game where you try to combine two words to generate a single google hit. This is becoming increasingly difficult, for which the author of these descriptions takes a small amount of credit for contributing to the combination of otherwise unrelated keywords. You're welcome! Then T-Bone describes his recent trip to a rather more adult-themed version of Disneyworld than I remember. In polish the bishop, we can't decide whether we're deali...
Nov 29, 2011•10 min
In this part 2 of the non-video game video dance party, or whatever, we feature a Limited Appeal record for topics considered with minimal transitional material. And that's saying something! After some introductory obsession with penises (peni?) we enjoy us some Foody Goody, then MMMM!! Macaroons, by Katrina Robinson, then all of sudden we're talking about the potentially constraining effect of running speed on intelligence. And that's just the start! Here's an arrow diagram of the episode: Intr...
Oct 14, 2011•18 min
We're live! Face to face to face. One face is missing. But it probably also has nose hair. Ugh � this is, even, by our standards, a rather disgusting episode. What about above-the-ass back hair? Listen carefully, and you'll discover whether these traits are a tipping point concerning whether we'll be able to continue procreating. Or maybe that's a complete bit of nonsense that you won't be able to help but shake your head at. Anyway, if you're still listening by some chance, we later try to name...
Sep 12, 2011•14 min
In our Nature Walk this week, we feature round 4 of Who's that Bird, A-Frickin' Edition. When I write "round 4", I mean of course the 4th time we've done this segment, as opposed to a comment on the shape of the segment, which may or may not be cigar-shaped. It's not clear how many heads the segment has, but perhaps judging by the quality of our bird identity guesses, there are probably fewer than you might think. Anyway, play along! If you do, you might be surprised at how much is going on duri...
Aug 08, 2011•13 min
After a seemingly interminable and trivial preamble, we discuss the development of the biggest supercomputer in China (we think it's China, anyway). It's possible the computer's function is to censor discussion of Chinese secrets, or offensive dialog, in which case we probably will set a few flags. So, to make amends, Warren suggests we make deliberately inaccurate and offensive statements that we can then rebuke ourselves. Do we manage? Have a listen to found out. If you work for the Chinese se...
Jul 04, 2011•12 min
This episode we ask if gravity has a special relationship with balls, particularly when a kilt, or a dog, is involved. Watch your step! In name 5 things, we try to name 5 provocative movie titles for dogs. I know, it's ridiculous. My main job here is to write descriptions, so you can't blame me for the fact that the topics are bullshit. Anyway, you can't really complain unless you already know 5 provocative dog movie titles. You don't, do you? If you do, send us an email with your suggestions (m...
Jun 10, 2011•11 min
Are you ready for round 3 of our Who's That Bird contest: A-frickin' Edition? Well, get ready. Do it! Ah, forget it, we'll start even though you're NOT ready. Jackass. In fact, if you're expecting a detailed description of this episode so you'll have an advantage in the home version of Who's That Bird that we know you all play with your friends, forget it. Here's all you're getting: ungulate impressions, grounded asian beer, and just-about-to-die. Cop that, keyword search! I'm outta here. If you...
May 17, 2011•11 min
In Music and Music and Music related things, T-Bone reveals that the sound of almost all classic radio jingles came from a single studio. This means that you're guaranteed to have been annoyed by the same small group of (apparently rich) Texans as everyone else who suffered through commercial morning radio. Thanks, Texas! Fuckers. Somehow, with little by way of segue, this leads us to a discussion on marriage. I don't remember how, and you shouldn't care. The point is that Warren defends a rathe...
Apr 06, 2011•11 min
Every episode could be a new season, but usually it isn't. Except this time! Welcome to Season 6. Yeah, we could hardly believe it either, and we should know better since we're in charge of deciding when the seasons change. Not like in a weather way, obviously � just the seasons associated with our show. Ahem. Anyway, this week in Name 5 Things, Warrens asks us to name 5 situations in which a "placebo button" would be helpful. The theory is that even if buttons aren't connected to anything, and ...
Mar 10, 2011•12 min
We stage a brand new contest for this episode: Who's That Word, Football Edition! Warren plays three chants from English football (er, soccer for those in parts of the world where there is some ambiguity about the term), and the rest of us have to name the city/team whose supporters are doing the chanting. Easy enough, right? So long as you know a bit about English Football, can interpret the language of drunken, howling British soccer hooligans, and/or maybe can spare a thought for basic geogra...
Feb 09, 2011•16 min
Can you speak Beaker? Oh. Do you also have a mental or emotional disorder? Riiiiggghhhhttttt. Anyways, in our first non-Beaker segment this week, Warren asks about the gap in radio music between the 60's and the classical music period. Was music so crappy in the Middle Ages (1800-1940)? Or was classical music just amazingly awesome? How square and lame is today's music? Why do some radio stations still play the Beach Boys? How many people need to die to solve this problem? Ahem. If you're a hard...
Jan 12, 2011•13 min
Welcome to another Christmas Show! But not the same one, because that would just be lazy. No, instead we've baked a special batch of limited appeal that you'll find in a delicious rectangular box. Hee hee! Tasty box... Well, actually, I've not tasted the box proper, but it's contents are awesome. Take that where you will. Anyways, we're not sure we actually remember anything other than the names about either of the brands involved in our product comparison segment, so it's safe to say the actual...
Dec 08, 2010•12 min
