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Limited Appeal

Limited Appealwww.limitedappeal.net
In case you were expecting something, this is what you get.
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Episodes

Limited Appeal - My duck senses are tingling

Can you believe that sometime this month (or possibly last month depending on when you listen to this), someone will start the one millionth download of a Limited Appeal podcast? Neither can we. Anyway, Warren takes a verbal shit in this segment and asks you to have a look: anatidaephobia. Whaddya think? Don't get too disgusted or scared, because bulls and ducks experience vision that is like an old TV set, or a (moving) painting of T-Bone on a stone, respectively. Phew! If you can think of a be...

Nov 15, 201012 min

Limited Appeal - That's not a wood pecker, Johnny

In this episode, we take a Nature Walk for Round 2 of "Who's That Bird: A-frickin' Edition". You'll learn about one or more of the following: geographic and environmental variation in pelican feather pigmentation, appendage-based locomotion in flightless ratites, birds that wear glasses, birds that fly constantly, 24/7, even when asleep, or that bees are different from birds. Actually, you may have learned some of this already just by reading this description! Unless you weren't paying attention...

Oct 24, 201013 min

Limited Appeal - Brood Parasite

After a long hiatus (or maybe, if you aren't Hoss, after no hiatus because you've never heard of our stupid show), we're back with a new contest: Who's That Bird: A-frickin' Edition. Just like our earlier contest featuring New Zealand Birds, this time we venture to the dark continent (no racism intended) and check our skills in imagining the appearance and motivation of birds based only on their songs. Warren is playing the calls, which means he's reacharound proof for once, much to John's disap...

Sep 14, 201017 min

Limited Appeal - Linda's favourite hiding spot

This week, at long last, another much-anticipated Urban legend. Did you know that dildos were discovered by accident? Back in the 1940's people used to�, actually maybe it's best if you just listen, since I can't bring myself to type it all out. A few keywords should be sufficient to give you a picture anyway: celery branches, some guy called Dilbert, chicken wings, and cleaning the inside of one's anus. You may be asking yourself how we could possibly tidy up the episode after such a brilliant ...

Aug 20, 201010 min

Limited Appeal - Sponge lattice ocean

We begin this episode in Pooh Corner, where we try to answer the following question posed to Warren by a fortune cookie: how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? You may think you know the answer, but our discussion should make you think twice, as we vacillate between rather determined answers of "a bit", "not at all", and even a rather persuasive "maybe it would even get shallower without sponges". And if you think you've got sponges cased, how about lobsters? It turns out this is a ...

Jul 27, 201012 min

Limited Appeal - The new adventures of old ice

After seeing a documentary on the Discovery Civilization channel that recounted the sinking of the Titanic from the iceberg's perspective, in this week's edition of Name 5 Things, Warren asks us to name 5 other stories that would benefit from similar treatment. We spend a bit of time going over the details of the iceberg's perspective, which is tricky since the iceberg had no voice, and there may have been a fair amount of speculation on the part of the Discovery folks. We eventually suggest a f...

Jul 05, 201012 min

Limited Appeal - Nuts are the perfect fruit

After some trash talking with Richard Simmons, Warren opens a Foody Goody segment by asking the rest of us about sitcom errors in classifying fruits and vegetables. This discussion necessarily involves mentioning the reproductive organs of plants, and you can probably guess what that leads to. Yes, you're right: Warrant. Anyway, who knew the politics/taxation policy of vegetables were so complex?! You did? Oh. Well who invited you, Mr Law Talking Man? Asshole. Anyway, if you're still listening, ...

May 13, 201012 min

Limited Appeal - Maybe you should cut that off

URL: www.limitedappeal.net. After dropping some new tunes to start season 5 (how exciting), we diagnose Luc's elbow in "Your Body and You". If you've heard our show before, and for some strange reason you're still listening, you'll know that our medical advice should really never be taken seriously, but play along anyway. Can you guess which of the following is not in our list of recommended treatments? A) Amputation; B) Rest; C) Ice; D) Reacharound; E) Moisturizer; F) Burning. Winner gets a rea...

Apr 16, 201012 min

Limited Appeal - If it's an episode, it's a fluke

We begin by trying to decide whether it's a good idea or a bad idea for a transport company to use the slogan, "If it's on time, it's a fluke". Turns out you can interpret this in many ways, but don't get all crazy and start denying antecedents, now. We don't go in for logical fallacies. Can you name one important way that trucks are like flatworms? No, that's not it. Nope, wrong again. Don't you know anything about mouth/anuses? Ah, well, if it's any consolation (and it shouldn't be), you're no...

Mar 09, 201013 min

Limited Appeal - Hobo

Did you know that CTV is planning to remake every episode of The Littlest Hobo, but this time, a man plays the dog character? Or maybe you've never even heard about The Littlest Hobo? You really should stay in more. Anyway, if you found the old series a bit far-fetched, wait for the new one, which will be "edgy" and "fresh"! Meanwhile, listen as John reveals his confidential stories about how he made summer partner by being Mr. Gropey. He also tells us about a particularly exciting employment di...

Feb 10, 201012 min

Limited Appeal - Logical paradoxes and whatever

Have you heard about the Hadron Collider? Not the same as the hard-on collider, which is a different thing, I think. Anyway, if you've not heard of the first, maybe that's because people in the future are trying to stop you from hearing about it. It's as if someone is going back in time to save the universe from a massive cosmic traffic accident. (They're presumably perfectly OK with you learning about hard-on colliders.) Or maybe the workmen are just enjoying some cheesecake. Maybe you should d...

Jan 20, 201012 min

Limited Appeal - Tedmas is dead

Is no sad � is part of life! This year you get a brand new Tedmas episode, which is surprising given our recent lack of podcast productivity. You're welcome! We begin with a festive edition of Name 5 Things, in which Warren asks us to name five foods that should become part of the traditional holiday menu. How would YOU modify candy canes? Think carefully now, because if you consider it properly we�re confident you'll agree with T-bone's suggestion. There's not even any mustard involved! Sadly, ...

Dec 16, 200914 min

Limited Appeal - Salami and sorry sandwich

Don't ever do a segment, and then stop doing it, if it's possible that we might have had that idea, should we have had a video format. Got it?! Glad we cleared that up. Maybe you can return the favour and clear up our confusion about the phrase, "If it's 130 yards, it's a foot!" What the hell does that mean? We discuss this for quite some time, but since we have even less of a clue than usual, it's mostless pointless. John does get humourously annoyed about George Costanza, though, so it's not a...

Nov 18, 200912 min

Limited Appeal - Gilded sippets

We hope you're enjoying your sippets. We begin this week with Foody Goody, in which Luc explains that there's no such thing as Swiss cheese. If you think you've had some, you're deluding yourself. Yes, you are! Anyway, while your mind is still blown, consider this: we didn't start the fire. It was always burning. Did you know that in many French-speaking communities, French toast is called "pain perdu", which means, loosely, bread that was too proud to ask for directions? It's true. No matter wh...

Oct 27, 200911 min

Limited Appeal - Mice like mice

Warren begins this episode with a particularly challenging edition of "Name 5 Things", asking us to name 5 statements matching the formula "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." First a negative, then a reflexive affirmative. Sounds tough! Until John points out that there's no criterion asserting that the statement makes sense. Brace yourself for some surprising insights on the interrelationships between cheese and mice, some fairly careless agreement between subject and verb, some very c...

Oct 03, 200911 min

Limited Appeal - Sue my neck and face

How does this show affect our chances at a political career? Well, it doesn't help. Although I suppose we could run and lose. Or would that mean we weren't politicians? Does it matter whether you get paid to run a marathon? This is rather confusing, and to be honest, I'm not sure our podcast helps. What did you expect? Anyway, we bet you've all been wondering about CENSORED and his injured CENSORED, yes? No? Whatever. If you can give us a status update on your dickishness, send us an email (mask...

Sep 14, 200910 min

Limited Appeal - Beer Parlour

We begin by describing what Fife is: it's a kingdom just North of the Firth of Fife. We're not making this up. How do you become a king, anyway? If you've been just waiting around for a leader, and are happy for one of us to rule as a king, let us know by email ([email protected]). Anyway, in Sportage, Luc describes his outing on something called a chainwalk in Fife, and how it made him late for the recording because he was waiting for fish. It's a long and complicated story, and as al...

Aug 26, 200912 min

Limited Appeal - Cheebra

We begin this episode with another Nature Walk, in which Warren asks us to guess what animals contributed to some unusual hybrid mammal names. Could you tell a horse from a zebra or other zebroid based only on shape? If you can, let us know by email ([email protected]) so we can ridicule you specifically. Then in an unusually contested Foody Goody segment, Luc explains the usage of the word pudding in Britain. The real confusion strikes when Warren asks about cheese options after meals...

Jul 25, 200911 min

Limited Appeal - Only the Non-Jelly Die Young

This week's title refers to a current (at the time of recording it was current) science story about a jellyfish that Warren claims is "essentially immortal". I know, you can tell it's wrong as soon as you hear that Warren's the guy reporting it, but listen anyway. There might, just maybe, be a kernel of truth in the giant pile of bullshit that streams out of Warren. And if that's true, we should all be very, very afraid, because soon the world will be covered in fucking jellyfish. Ahem. Anyway, ...

Jul 05, 200912 min

Limited Appeal - Sopping Wet Experience

We begin this episode by once again coming to the rescue of a desperate information seeker, who stumbled onto our site (Google tells us) in a futile search for knowledge that we did not have, until now. How do women pee with wearing old chastity belt in the middle ages? Or did they at all? Not the new chastity belt, mind (that's easy!) � the old ones! We know nothing about the true answer, of course, but we don't let that stop us from discussing it at length. And Google Images teaches us all kin...

Jun 19, 200912 min

Limited Appeal - Crash and Burn

Does a word rhyme with itself? If you think you know the answer, ask yourself about the simple math. You heard me! This is actually a complicated issue. We're talking at least 13 different definitions, here. Remember Emily Dickinson, bitch? I know, it's weak sauce, but there's a chance Warren is technically right about something, for once. Astonished? I thought you might be. Anyway, to avoid dwelling on Warren's possible correctness, we "quickly" change the subject to a "Name 5 Things" segment, ...

Jun 09, 200914 min

Limited Appeal - Your buddy's pal and mine (in 3D)

What's the appeal of crystal meth? Is it really worth taking, just so you can experience our podcast in 3D? Probably not, for at least two reasons. Stick with the alcoholism, OK? Our Name 5 Things segment this week takes a pornographic turn when Warren asks us to derive the adult movie parody titles for several recent Hollywood films. You might think that those few minutes spent thinking of bad puns have limited appeal. Good call! But it's still fun to learn about our favourite porn genres. Spoi...

May 25, 200911 min

Limited Appeal - Goats 2009: Number 3

OK! If you can manage to listen beyond the revolting audio apparently provided by Luc, you'll learn about another Urban Legend that answers the question, "What did people use for prophylaxis before latex was invented?" Of course the answer is a great big pile of bullshit, as usual, and all the usual disclaimers about not following the medical advice that some of us provide hold. Still, if you have tried "getting inked" and want to report on the sensation, or lack thereof, please let us know by e...

May 10, 200912 min

Limited Appeal - Goats 2009: Number 2

And......continue! T-bone begins the second part of our goaty live face-to-face recording by describing his new drink in Alcoholics Says: the nogalyser. It's a bit like a paralyser, but more egg-y. Kind of similarly, we learn that disliking something is a bit like not liking it, but more offensive and/or accurate. Then in Foody Goody, Warren asks us to name 5 things that should be eaten be eaten frozen, but that are not yet typically consumed in a frozen state. If you doubt that this could be th...

Apr 25, 200914 min

Limited Appeal - Goats 2009: Number 1

Enh? Come closer! We're going on a Nature Walk to start this week, and it features all kinds of stubborn/asshole animals. The debate we have centres on whether stubborn-ness is a sign of intellect, and the relative intelligence of newborn humans and donkeys. Then, conspicuously without any transitional material of any kind, we jump to a discussion of the Google ads on our website, which we are not asking you to click on explicitly, although we certainly think you might enjoy the products made by...

Apr 10, 200911 min

Limited Appeal - The Final Round

Welcome to Series/Season 4! We have a dramatic beginning for you, sort of. At long last, you'll know who won the What am I....Who's That Bird...What am I Drinking...Who's That Word: Competitive Eating Edition. Whatever. I'm sure you're dripping with anticipation. (Some people get drippy when anticipating things, I think.) Up to five points will get awarded in the final round! And this round, they're not just words, they're questions! Are you up to the Milk Challenge? Could it involve crazy amoun...

Mar 29, 200913 min

Limited Appeal - Wistful Cultural Rejection

It's the ultimate episode of season three, but only in the chronological sense. Our intro somehow leads us to question Stompin Tom's obvious neediness. How many law degrees, posses, discount cards or names does this guy want? Jesus. Anyway, to cheer us up Culture.ca has apparently now included us in their podcast directory after several months of considering any ultimatums (ultimata?) we may or may not have sent their way. It's still not clear whether the collapse of their webpage was a result o...

Mar 14, 200911 min

Limited Appeal - Solomon Rushdee

We're back! After a somewhat lengthy hiatus during which we were busy with, er, some other things, we've returned with a long-awaited next episode. Maybe someone was awaiting it. Anyone? Hello? Whatever. In this week's Foody Goody Session we feature Round 2 of our Who's That Word: Competitive Eating Edition contest. If you've forgotten during our absence, the point (yes, there is a point) is for each of the others to guess the meaning of Warren's nominated technical term from the competitive eat...

Mar 04, 200911 min

Limited Appeal - Narrow pussy

It turns out John's cat George meows on command. And sometimes, it meows just because it wants to. Do you care? I didn't think so. And who the fuck cares about a calendar about narrow boats? Did you even know about these? You will by the end of this show, whether you care to or not. Turns out, they're long, and pretty narrow. Not like a Viking boat, though. Venice style. Surprisingly narrow. Especially the modern boats, which are slightly narrower. Somehow all this talk of boats leads to Austral...

Feb 16, 200913 min

Limited Appeal - Hallway

If you are easily offended by misogynistic questions, or perhaps even if you aren't, you might want to skip this week's episode. It centers on the latest segment of "Your Body and You", in which T-Bone requests the development of a certain litmus test that probably doesn't involve acidity. Should it involve communication, or is that, as some of us suspect, a really bad idea? Maybe a measuring device of some sort? How does one deal with the stretching? Could you start with ping-pong balls, and th...

Feb 01, 200910 min
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